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Happy Friday! This is the first board game that J. started playing — the age recommendation is 3 and up, but I think he was around 2 1/2 at the time. (Even now, he still likes it.) There’s no reading required; kids just have to find different objects on the board. Speaking of the game board, it’s six feet long, which the kids have a lot of fun with. You can also buy Eye Found It games with Star Wars and Disney themes, as well as a version you can take with you. (Good for holiday travel!) I recommend these for any mom who’s looking for the best first game that she and her kids will enjoy. Wonder Forge Richard Scarry’s Busytown, Eye Found It (L-all)Sales of note for 3.28.24
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
Pigpen's Mama says
Thanks for all the wish list recommendations the other day! There were some GREAT ideas.
CLS says
I love the Richard Scarry/Busytown games – My oldest loved it and just grew out of them, but I know my youngest will start to play them soon.
He also loved the Busy Busy Airport Game – combines his love of all things busytown with airplanes, another favorite in our house. Super easy to play, and can be fun for everyone. https://www.amazon.com/Wonder-Forge-1055-Richard-Airport/dp/B004S2M414
Merry Christmas everyone. :)
mylon girl says
Yes to all things Richard Scarry. The books are my go-to for baby gifts and gifts for both genders 1-4 years old. A quick and easy stash to have in the gift closet at all times.
anne-on says
Agreed, I have a love/hate relationship with the ‘cars and trucks and things that go’ book (so long! but keeps kiddo occupied! argh!). And I have yet to meet a kid who isn’t charmed by all the silly vehicles.
books says
haha it is SO long. I don’t love the way it reinforces gender stereotypes but man it was a favorite forever.
K. says
Would this be a good game for a two and half year old? She can count to 9, but doesn’t always get the concept of actually counting objects.
jlg says
this game is awesome!! great first board game. hooray for whoever came up with something better than candyland!
Mrs. Jones says
All Richard Scarry books and games are awesome. Our son played with the Airport Game for years.
Pogo says
I know it’s early for me to be thinking about this, but I’m considering how to take my maternity leave (by which I mean STD + FMLA, because this is America, yay).
One of my coworkers did something that sounded interesting to me – she did 8wks STD (c-section), which is fully paid by our company. Then she stretched out the remaining FMLA by working part time for many more weeks, rather than taking four weeks unpaid (which would be my natural inclination – 3 months all at once).
I’m wondering if this might actually work better? I will have my parents to help with childcare, plus my husband who has paternity leave plus loads of PTO (10 years with his company and he’s very senior) – so I wouldn’t need to put an 8 week old right into daycare. I could work 30, or even 20 hours, giving myself time to adjust and not worry about rushing everyone out of the house by 7 a.m., while still giving face time at the office and keeping my projects afloat.
Do people have strong thoughts either way? Is three months all at once best, or easing back into it better?
anne-on says
Can you do your 3 months all at once, and then have your husband take his leave after you go back? Will he also be able to handle the inevitable new baby illnesses that crop up in the first year? That would be my suggestion. My kiddo didn’t sleep well for his first year + nursed all.the.time for the first 6 months, so I was basically a walking zombie for roughly a year.
Going back after 8 weeks would have been basically impossible for me, but hey, you might have a super easy angel baby ;)
Anon in NYC says
Personally, at 8 weeks I was not ready to return to work. Physically and mentally. I felt ready at about 10 or 12 weeks.
RDC says
Ditto. And if you’re planning to breastfeed I feel like my supply was still regulating at 8 weeks, so it would have been challenging to start pumping.
Pogo says
To this point – if you don’t feel “physically or mentally ready”, can you get your STD extended? I’m sort of unclear about how that all works vs FMLA. Like what if my doctor recommended 15 weeks of STD, because I had complications or something? Would my company not have to hold my job for me?
Or do doctors just do 6 wks/8 wks STD and that’s that?
Anon in NYC says
Hmmm. I really don’t know about that. For STD, your doctor needs to fill out some forms (at least, mine did) but I honestly don’t really understand how much of that works. I think that, if for some reason, I needed more than the 6 weeks, I’d have to get my doctor to provide some sort of paperwork as to why I couldn’t yet return to work.
Anonymous says
It’s extremely rare for a doctor to provide any more than 6 wks (natural birth) / 8 wks (c-section) as a “medical necessity”
Anonymous says
Plus, even if you could get your doctor to say you need 12 weeks STD, it runs concurrently against FMLA in most places. So you can’t extend your leave to more than 3 months – it only affects whether or not the leave is paid.
Pogo says
That was my question – it seems contrary to FMLA??
My insurance provides up to 26 weeks paid leave, assuming your doctor says you are still disabled for that time. I was wondering if doctors ever really say that, tho, for childbirth-related stuff – I’d pretty much never heard of it ever happening.
I’ve been on STD for something else, and the insurance company AND my doctor were both super easy to deal with, and didn’t pressure me to return to work at all. I’m not sure why childbirth is so different, but it is. This is what I’m always so confused about!
avocado says
Isn’t the time limit on STD partly a function of the insurance policy, not just the doctor’s recommendation?
Betty says
Yes. It is worth calling your carrier to ask what is standard, which can vary by carrier and policy. If you had a complication that prevented your return to work, STD (and maybe LTD) could cover, but you would need a doctor’s support. STD/LTD is an insurance benefit, and is not limited by FMLA. FMLA protects your job for 12 weeks per year (worth also checking how your employer calculates the year). FMLA protects 12 weeks, but that does not mean that you cannot take more leave. I took 6 months and 4 months with my first and second, respectively.
Lyssa says
I used to process STD claims.
Standard coverage is 6 weeks (sometimes 8 for a C-section, but that’s not universal). If you have complications that would necessitate you being out longer, then it will cover you for longer, but you (and your doctor) would have to show that your medical situation is truly making you unable to work. My experience was that the medical personnel we worked with would look pretty skeptically at the attempts to extend it, since they assumed that the person really wanted to stay home longer. Serious PPD would do it (as in, couldn’t get out of bed depression), but not just feeling tired and not mentally ready. A good rule of thumb would be that if you could take care of the kid on your own (after the 6-8 weeks), you could work.
FMLA is completely separate from STD, other than the fact that they run concurrently. FMLA says that your employer has to hold your job for 12 weeks total (possibly stretched out by part time or intermittent work). For childbirth, medical condition is irrelevant. That means that even if you did have some truly horrible complications to where there was no question that you had to be out of work longer, your employer would not be legally obligated to hold your job. Of course, most employers would still hold your job beyond the FMLA mandated time if needed, though some have a hard and fast policy of 12 weeks and gone. Also, note that that’s 12 weeks total, so if you use some time during the pregnancy, then that would count against the time post-birth.
I know that everyone’s experience is different, but I went back to work at 8 weeks both times, and definitely felt ready. I liked being home with the kid, so I wouldn’t have wanted to go back earlier, but I would have been perfectly fine to do so physically and mentally.
Pogo says
THANK YOU!!! I am going to save this explanation in a word doc. I’ve literally never had it explained to me fully, and was always confused by it!
Lyssa says
I’m always thinking that I should offer to write a guest post about it here. Maybe after the holidays.
Anon for this says
Also remember to check your state laws. I live in NH. The employer has to allow you leave and protect your job for the period of your disability. That can include time during and post pregnancy. It can also be intermittent. It does not include bonding with your child. It is just the medical portion of the leave.
SoCalAtty says
You sure can. I was not physically ready at all – I was also really anemic and on iron infusions. My STD was extended by a month, so I had the standard 8 (c-section) + 4 until my FMLA started ticking.
Also – they can make you take your “baby bonding time” all in one shot, at the employer’s option, if I remember correctly.
Lyssa says
Just as a caveat there, SoCalAtty’s employer may have chosen to not start the FMLA clock until her STD was done paying, but they were not obligated to do that. Legally, FMLA starts as soon as you start missing work (of course, the employer can always give you more time if they choose).
Pogo says
This is all really helpful. It’s good to know if you have a real, medical issue (like, you’re still bleeding profusely or have a raging infection) your doctor can extend your STD if insurance covers it. However, I will count on STD paying only 6 weeks, and getting another 6 weeks unpaid per FMLA. If my employer lets me take more unpaid, I do that with the realization that they would hold my job only as a courtesy.
Although that brings another question – if I take PTO, I’m technically employed, not on leave, so if I saved all my PTO and THEN tacked that on to FMLA I’d be covered, in terms of my job being protected?
Pogo says
Nevermind, I just realized that doesn’t make any sense. They can fire you on vacation whenever, new baby or not haha.
Em says
+1 I went back at 10 weeks and I think that was perfect (minus our first daycare being terrible, necessitating finding a new one the first week).
AwayEmily says
Lyssa — that would be amazing and so helpful.
Anonymous says
I would do 8 weeks STD, 3 weeks FMLA at full time and two weeks FMLA at part-time if you can work from home. Ask to work from home for 3-4 hours each afternoon (like 12-4/1-5pm- that way you can nurse before and after working) Have your parents/DH (PTO)do care for the other 1/2 day. Have your DH take parental leave after you go back. Preferably at least 2- 3 months and then have your parents take over with childcare when he goes back. Taking parental leave as a senior person in his company doesn’t just benefit him – it creates an opportunity for less senior men to feel that it’s an option and a safe choice.
Emphasis on DH taking parental leave – My DH took 6 months off unpaid with our 1st and a year unpaid off with our 2nd (things were very very tight financially). He just called me to talk about he’s feeling guilty about missing the kids daycare Christmas party this afternoon (meeting he can’t get out of) – feels like ‘he’s letting them down’ and ‘wishes he could be in two places at once’. Basically, he gets why being a working mom is hard in a way that many dads don’t and it’s so valuable to our family and my marriage.
FTMinFL says
+1 to everything here. I did 11 weeks full time FMLA + 2 weeks half time and, while the half time weeks were wonderful to allow me to ease back in, I still wasn’t ready to go back. I’m pregnant with number two now and I plan to take 12 weeks full time FMLA, 1 week full time PTO and 1 week half time PTO. If I could swing longer, I would.
Also, OMG YES on DH taking solo parental leave. My DH didn’t take any leave beyond the days we were in the hospital and we are still paying for it – me because I am so the default parent and homemaker (plus a 50hr/wk job) and him because he feels less competent taking care of our toddler and he has to deal with my occasional bouts of resentment.
Spirograph says
It’s hard to know how you will feel about returning to work at 8 weeks. If your baby is a great sleeper, and you have an easy delivery and postpartum hormones aren’t affecting your mental state too much, sure, you might be OK to come back that soon. Personally, I would not have been productive at work at that point; focus and memory were a big challenge and it was better for me to spend a few more weeks unplugged. Also, consider whether you think your office will respect your “part time” status if you come back earlier, and whether they’ll really expect you to be your pre-baby self right when you come back anyway. My office culture is pretty family friendly, so as long as I’m getting my work done and making a good faith effort to be in the office for core hours, there’s not too much pressure (other than what I put on myself).
Regardless of when you go back, encourage your husband to take solo parental leave. I’ve evangelized for it many times here, because I strongly believe it is one of the best thing we’ve done for our marriage and kids’ relationship with dad. My husband was able to take about a month each time, but every little bit helps!
BTanon says
+1 to all of this
Pogo says
Thanks to everyone for all the comments – it sounds like taking as much as you possibly can is always the best way to go.
Butter says
I took 8 weeks off (STD + sick time), then started back slowly – first week was in the office 1 day, second week 2 days, third week 3 days, etc until back to full time after about a month. Days I was in the office SO was home with LO. It was AWESOME. It allowed me to transition back to work without making the transition to daycare at the same time (all I had to do was focus on getting myself out the door in the morning, no one else), it allowed SO valuable time home with the baby weeks/months after his paternity leave was over and when baby was more “fun”, and it meant we didn’t put LO into daycare until he was 12-13 weeks old. Highly recommend considering if it’s something you can swing.
TBK says
I think I posted here before about our concerns about Twin A’s language development etc. We finally got to see the developmental specialist (it literally takes a year to get an appointment in this area — I called last Dec for the appointment) and the good news is that he isn’t autistic, but he does have autistic tendencies and has about a 1 yr delay in language. The NP recommended speech therapy and occupational therapy. On the one hand, we’re extremely relieved that it’s not autism (although we really didn’t think it was for various reasons) but on the other, there is nothing out there that explains why he has these delays. The NP couldn’t really help. She said that some kids catch up but if he still has a delay at age 6, they’ll do an IQ test. Except at age 2 1/2 he’s already reading short words, knows all the colors, shapes, letters, and can count to 100 (and knows the numbers and that they represent actual things — like he’ll count three objects and say “three!”). I suppose he could still have a low IQ? But that seems unlikely. The Internet explanations behind language delay are prematurity (no), brain injury (no), deafness (no), autism (no), and intellectual disability (which seems unlikely). He will name pictures in a book, but on his own time and not in response to you asking about them. He can use his hands well but has no interest in drinking out of an open cup – he prefers to tip it over and examine how the liquid pours out of it and what patterns it makes on the table top when it falls. We’ll get him therapy and he’s an easy, easy little kid. Very easy-going, few tantrums (it’s B who has all the drama), loves to give hugs. In their preschool class, it’s A who seems to be friends with every one of the other boys in the class – all the moms come up to me and say “Oh, you’re A’s mom! My son talks about him all the time! They’re great friends!” So it’s really just trying to wrap our heads around what any of this might mean. Anyone else have a similar experience? I know it’s hard to tell and nothing is certain, but just kind of confused.
Anonymous says
At age two, our eldest had less than ten words and a diagnosed 6 month delay in expressive speech but no receptive speech delay. 3 years later, I literally caught myself at supper last night thinking – will she ever stopped talking? And then I smiled because I thought that she would never talk like that. She chatters away easily in two languages.
The single biggest thing that helped us was to stop talking to the level she understood. Basically, she felt that ‘talking’ looked like saying long multi-word sentences. We simplified our language and waited for a response. We counted to ten after we spoke to give her time to try and say something. We did the Hanen program and I can’t recommend it enough. There’s a book and DVD available on their website (“It Takes Two To Talk”). It’s simple stuff but in combination, it had a huge effect. They also have an email newsletter with great, simple tips.
It sounds like he has an expressive delay but not a receptive delay? Expressive delays are rarely associated with development issues so I wouldn’t worry too much about that.
TBK says
We can’t tell if there’s a receptive delay. He kind of does things on his own schedule. So if you ask him to, for example, close the door for you, he’ll probably ignore you. But when I say “hey, A, time to put on your shoes” he’ll come right over because he loves his shoes. The NP tried to get him to draw circles on a piece of paper and then to tap a card. He had zero interest in doing either of those. But we can’t tell if he didn’t understand or was just like “why? I don’t feel like drawing circles.”
Spirograph says
Hugs, this is a frustration situation, but I’m glad you were able to rule out autism! I wonder if you might be more worried about it because you have the other twin to compare him to, and they’re developing different strengths with B doing it in a more “typical” way? My daughter is 2 (24 months), and while she’s a chatty little thing now, her speech came in a very recent explosion. She barely talked before that, although it was clear she understood. I remember being a little concerned because her older brother had talked much earlier, and had more of a linear progression building vocab and moving from single words to simple sentences, etc, but I can imagine I’d have been a lot more anxious if it was confronting me daily.
I don’t want to minimize your concern at all, and obviously if the specialists are calling it a 1 year delay, far be it from me to armchair diagnose a child I’ve never met! but it sounds like A is thriving in a lot of other areas, so he may just be learning about the world his own way and not terribly susceptible to peer pressure. If it were socially acceptable (and it still is for a 2.5 year old), I’d pour out my drinks and admire the patterns the spills make, too!
Samantha says
Pouring drinks out is normal mischievous behavior. Ignore that completely!
RR says
There’s a potential twin thing here too. Does B do a lot of talking for both of them?
TBK says
Yes. All the time. I mean, B talks for B, but it also applies to A. Like “want banana?” If B gets a banana, it’s likely that A will get a banana, too. The hardest part has been sorting out what’s a delay, what’s being a twin, what’s being B’s twin in particular, and what’s just A being A. He’s a really independent little guy. He’s snuggly and gives huge hugs, but he’s also totally happy off in a corner looking at a book by himself, or playing with a stack of foam letters. B meanwhile will suck up every bit of adult attention in the room, so we have to very consciously reach out to A to make sure he’s getting enough interaction.
Em says
I don’t want to discount that you are potentially facing a developmental issue, but A sounds like a dream toddler :)
RR says
Especially given that your instinct is that there aren’t developmental delays, I’d be inclined to attribute quite a bit of it to B being the talker of the pair. It’s totally anecdotal, but I experienced it to some degree with my twins, and I know a lot of my friends with twins experienced something similar to greater degrees. There is a reality of some kids just not wanting to talk a lot.
Nothing about what you posted suggests a low IQ. My 3 year old (who is very bright) cannot count to 100. Neither could either of my twins, both of whom have high IQs and are considered “gifted”. It’s actually very advanced at 2 1/2. I’d be more inclined to think you are dealing with a very high IQ and a kid who is just going to be independent and march to the beat of his own drummer. Particularly given that talking is “B’s thing,” and sometimes twins just like to do the opposite of each other. Also, don’t underestimate the amount of “management” sometimes needed with a high IQ. Very high IQs can present with their own issues that often look like other issues.
I would definitely continue to monitor and pursue interventions, because it can only help.
Anon in NYC says
As part of a parents group that I’m a part of, there was a recent discussion about speech delays for 18 month olds. A person who is a speech language pathologist chimed in and said that there are 15 different things that pathologists look at to determine if there are delays, some of which include: receptive language, musculature of the cheeks and tongue, the actual sounds they can produce, whether they engage in reciprocal language, pretend play, etc. Long story short, this parent was saying that early speech therapy can be really helpful for the child and also for the parents since they learn various ways to support their child.
All that to say, I’m sure this is a really stressful situation, but I think that getting therapy for A sounds like a great idea and you are taking all the necessary steps to help him.
mascot says
Child development is so individualized that it’s somewhat unpredictable. That’s really frustrating for those of who live in the world of rules and order and researching everything to death. Sounds like you have a plan for going forward which is good.
I get what you are going through though where a child is well developed to advanced in some areas and seemingly behind in others. We are struggling with ongoing behavioral issues with my child and I’m driving myself crazy trying to figure out the root cause. Is it just immaturity (but he’s advanced for his age in other areas), is there an underlying disorder, is it something in his school or home environment? Or is this just part of his individual tapestry and personality? The latter is probably it, but it’s hard not to uncover every stone to find out if something else is going on.
speech says
Stressful indeed. I don’t have any insight into causes – my son (a twin) has a hearing impairment that explains speech delays but no cause yet identified for the actual impairment. But I did want to see if you were going through Early Intervention. It’s administered at a county level so I’m not sure how consistent the rules are, but in my area kids who qualify (based on severity of delay) get free speech therapy. In many cases, in home. After age three, it migrates to another system administered by the school district. It also covers occupational therapy.
Your doctor should be able to provide you all the necessary information.
Good luck!
TBK says
We were doing early intervention through the county but it isn’t free for us, and the therapist was terrible. I found out she’d show up and ask the au pair “what do you want to do today?” I mean, the therapist is the one with the degree in early language development, not my au pair who has a degree in communications and isn’t a native English speaker.
speech says
That’s awful. Here it’s free (they attempt to bill insurance, but if not, free) and we are blessed with a great one who’s been with us for well over a year and comes twice a week.
RDC says
Tagging into the train-table discussion yesterday. What about play kitchens? I’m considering one for our 2-yo but it would have to go in our main living area and my husband thinks it’s too big and won’t get much use. The reason I’m for it is that our son seems to be very into cooking and wants to stand on a step stool at the kitchen counter to bang spoons and such. (Hard to cook while also trying to make sure he doesn’t fall off the stool or grab dangerous items off the counter.) It would be amazing if he could play at his play kitchen in the living room (adjoining the actual kitchen) while we’re cooking, but maybe that’s unrealistic. Thoughts?
play kitchen says
Our play kitchen gets SO much use. My older son was done with it by 4 but our 1 year old is just discovering it. We got an Ikea one because it has a smaller footprint and just put it in our actual kitchen. But I think kitchen adjacent would work fine, too. We actually have this and a used train table and the kitchen gets more use (though that might be location-related).
RDC says
Thanks! Was looking at the IKEA one precisely bc of the smaller footprint. But sent the link to DH and he responded with “it’s huge!” (I’m not sure he actually knew what I was talking about until he saw the picture… and he hasn’t looked around to see the multitude of truly enormous ones!)
avocado says
Two is the perfect age for a play kitchen. If you put it in or near your actual kitchen, it should get plenty of use. Play food with lots of little pieces that can be taken apart and reassembled may help.
Anonymous says
Play Kitchen has been one of the most used toys in our house. Ikea one is great and so is the IKEA play food. Playing restaurant or tea party is a big hit in our house.
It won’t necessarily work for toddler to play with kitchen while you’re cooking. For cooking, I either babywear or use the pack and play and put him in there with books.
anne-on says
We don’t have a play kitchen because we don’t really have the space for it but my son LOVED them at daycare, and will totally still play with the ones at the library/friends houses all.the.time. There are lots of good options for smaller sized ones, but I’d definitely get one with at least a sink, stove/oven, and fridge – those are the parts that seem to get the most use. You can usually find them on craiglist used too if you don’t mind picking up.
RDC says
Thanks – that’s our struggle too. Don’t really have the space but DS loves the one at daycare. It seems worth it to cram it into our living space if it would cut down on the dangerous kitchen antics.
anne-on says
If that’s the case – my SIL got this for her 2-yr old and he LOVES it:
https://www.amazon.com/Melissa-Doug-17-Piece-Cooktop-Durable/dp/B017OW25ZE/ref=sr_1_fkmr0_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1481302256&sr=8-1-fkmr0&keywords=melissa+and+doug+small+play+stove
anne-on says
Oh – this one is even cheaper, might be a good way to test the waters?
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00DQRVQSE?psc=1
Anon in NYC says
I’m getting one for my now 18 month old, and I think it’s a bit of a gamble (she doesn’t seem to show much interest in cooking), but if she were interested in cooking (like your son) I think it would be a huge hit.
Betty says
We purchased our play kitchen when my kids were 1 and 3. Two years later, it still gets weekly use. We kept ours in the living area adjoining our kitchen for a long time (basically until they could play in a separate room without supervision). Yes, it takes up space, but it was worth it to have the entertainment. Have you also considered a wooden learning tower? Its basically an enclosed stool.
EB0220 says
We inherited a play kitchen when my oldest was 2, and it has gotten near constant use since then (kids are now 4 and 2). We also have one of those kitchen helper towers so the kids can help with real cooking. Has also gotten constant use since we received it, and the kids regularly fight over who gets to use it.
PEN says
I love the play kitchen—but my kids have no interest in it when we are cooking b/c we have a learning tower. If I had to do it over again, I would just get the learning tower (we made an ikea-hack one)
ChiLaw says
My girl (almost 2) is getting a play kitchen for xmas — the IKEA one. Because I can’t help myself, I am tricking it out (pretty paint colors, a fake backsplash, lighting, knobs). I took her to IKEA in October and she saw it and absolutely lost it. She played with it for maybe 20 minutes and sobbed when I took her away from it. At daycare sometimes she’s allowed to go into the bigger kids’ room and all she does is play with the kitchen, so I am pretty sure it will be a hit.
Edna Mazur says
Got my boys a kitchen last Christmas (they were two and baby). They both still LOVE it. Sometimes, if I am cooking something and need them out from under my feet I can give them my whisks, measuring spoons, etc. and ask if they can go make something on their stove to help me out. They love helping me actually cook too, so if they help make pizza for dinner, they spend the next day making pizza in their kitchen.
As a warning, they steal a lot of my kitchen stuff (pot holders, spoons, whisks- love whisks) for their kitchen and we’ve found some pretty disgusting sippy cups of curdled milk in their fridge…
Anonymous says
I got a used one for peanuts and my mom got one for free from craigslist or one of those parenting listservs. Definitely do it — kids love it — and definitely try to get one SUPER cheap. If you spend big money on it, you’ll always regret that you didn’t get THAT one with THOSE cool features — there are soooooooo many options.
In House Lobbyist says
We got one when my son was 2 and it has had so much use. He is 6 now so he doesn’t use it as much but my 3 year old uses it everyday. They love to “cook” each other and both were playing with it one night this week. Kids of all ages and genders play with it. We got a wooden one and keep it in our kitchen.
Anonymous says
Don’t get him a play kitchen, get him a learning tower! Also look into Montessori cooking for kids. Put him in charge of tearing lettuce for salads or shaking up dressing. Spreading, juicing, plating are all young toddler cooking skills!
You’ll just redirect a healthy interest in real work into messing around. Build on what he’s interested in, don’t thwart him.
BTanon says
A few posters above mentioned a learning tower for kitchen use. Any recommendations for specific models? They’re not super cheap, and a quick perusal of Amazon indicates that quality may be variable. I wish I was a DIY-er, but – let’s face it – that’s not going to happen while my kid is still young enough to actually use it. They seem like a great idea though.
MSJ says
I think Little Partners is the original one and the one we have. It works well with my twin toddlers, although they are now starting to throw elbows. I asked my local facebook group if anyone was looking to sell theirs and found someone willing to pass it along for free. It’s definitely worth looking used since it’s so durable and takes up a lot of room (so less tolerance to keep it around once kids age out of it). But we’ve used it daily for the past year, so it’s one of the few kids items also worth paying full price for
Kelly C. says
Ask on your local facebook group if anyone in the area makes them. I’m in the northeast, and one of the moms on my local facebook group has a carpenter husband who makes them by hand and then she will paint them any color you want. They are a bit pricier (but not that much) than the Amazon models, and I like supporting a local family.
Betty says
Same with my local facebook group. Also in the Northeast…
Em says
Buy Buy Baby has one that a friend of mine bought and has been very happy with it.
Em says
This one: https://www.buybuybaby.com/store/product/little-partners-original-learning-tower/3278213
RDC says
I was the one asking about the play kitchen but have opinions on this too :) we actually have a learning tower, which my son loves, but it has some drawbacks: big footprint when open (so ours spends most of the time folded up); I’m always concerned my son will fall out (he doesn’t really stand quietly), so at least for us it requires pretty close supervision; and possibly the biggest – it allows him to reach most of the counter so we have to make sure anything breakable is moved and it dramatically reduces the space available for actually cooking. (We have a small kitchen if it’s not obvious.). Also got ours used thru our neighborhood group so try that to find a cheaper one.
Spirograph says
I had never heard of these things before. We just pull a chair over from the dining room (literally <10 feet away, and a clear path) and my son stands on that when he "helps" cook. It's not ideal — it will slide on the floor if he leans too hard against the counter, for example, which freaked him out a couple times before he learned to be more careful, and definitely he could fall off the side. But our kitchen is tiny, so I'm basically in an arm's reach at all times, and if I'm letting him do stuff up on the counter, I'm closely supervising anyway because the potential for destruction is high. If kiddos just want to reach something without me actually enabling their "help," they go get the step stool out of the bathroom and carry it into the kitchen. Which is good, because it gives me a chance to intercept them.
I see the safety advantage over a chair, but for $200 I guess I just don't get it. Am I missing something?
Anon says
DH and I are having a very stressful year. 3rd baby, I just returned to work, renovations, and the list goes on and on. Just this week he found out that his company is restructuring, his job is not in danger, but his salary is going down when he totally deserves an increase AND a stressful legal issue resurfaced in our lives this week. DH does not handle stress well. He had a holiday party last night and came home in an awful mood and picked a totally irrational fight. I got no sleep and totally forgot that my holiday party is tonight and I did not come to work dressed for it (jeans). Now DH says he will feel really bad if I don’t go but I really have no interest in even making an effort at this point. I’m totally drained. Ugh. Just a vent.
Kelly C. says
It is OK to say no to the holiday party this year.
Samantha says
Dont go if it’s one more thing for you to feel stressed about. Use the time to go elsewhere and grab a drink with a girlfriend, or go get a massage or something.
SC says
Don’t go to the holiday party. Go get a manicure.
Canadian anon says
Frequent lurker, infrequent commenter
I think I have seen a few commenters on here posting about having UC. My husband was diagnosed yesterday. I am a bit confused about what this means for his day-to-day health going forward. Obviously it is very person dependent. But would love to hear what you have found helpful to manage it. He was immediately started on some very expensive medication. Feeling very thankful for our excellent insurance coverage.
Betty says
Hi! My son was just diagnosed with Crohn’s, and we are looking at whether my husband has it as well. Have you checked out CCFA . org? Lots of good info there. Wish I could give more substantive advice, but we are new to this journey as well. Hugs.
Pogo says
Hugs!! CCFA is awesome, we have gone to a couple of their events.
DH is lucky in that his work is very flexible – he drives into the city for his appointments, which can take several hours with traffic, parking, etc, but he gets some of the top GI care in the country. When he was on infusions and had to spend hours there getting his drugs, he would just work on his laptop and it was no big deal. Now he does injections at home, and has for many years with no issues.
Day to day, the biggest impact is always being out of the house (even locally) or travelling (air, car etc). Not to make it about me, but what I find hardest is when we are in public and he suddenly disappears for 20 min and I have no idea where he is. I know he had to find a bathroom ASAP, but I’m always so nervous when I don’t know WHERE he is exactly – I’m always paranoid he’s going to pass out or something I’ll never find him?? So I’ve been training him to text me his location. Then I know he’s OK.
Travelling is hard – I’m pretty much used to needing to pull over on the highway for him to go to the bathroom. He also had to call a flight attendant and have the plane stopped mid-taxi because he thought he might need the bathroom. Foreign countries are oddly easier, because they have pay toilets everywhere, but NYC is f*cking awful (sorry, it just is). In the US a lot he just has to convince people to let him use Employee-Only bathrooms. He’s always so polite – I’d be like, “Hi, I’m going to poop on your floor if you don’t let me in”.
The other thing we both find hard is what I mentioned yesterday – that everyone thinks they know the cure for IBD, and they confuse IBS with IBD, and generally don’t get that it’s really serious. DH struggles to maintain his weight, and he’s never really found a treatment that works for him – the anti-TNF alpha treatments don’t seem to help him, so we’re hoping some of the newer drugs that target ILs will.
Canadian anon says
Thanks to you both. I will check it out.
JP says
Hugs. It is really hard, especially at the beginning with so many unknowns like how you will respond to treatment etc. Mine started off mild to moderate and then went downhill after one bad flare. I did have to get “the surgery” after 2.5 years and it was unequivocally the best decision I’ve made re: my health, ever, so while I hope for you that the medical options work, please know that the “worst case scenario” may end up as the best. I wish I’d known this upfront. And after three months, the ostomy is removed–nobody can tell, unless they see my scars, that my plumbing is different.
As for day to day coping, a good sense of humor and a lot of Imodium are important! Oh, and if you live in an area with a big medical community, try to find a doc who specializes in IBD. I switched to a specialist right when things were getting bad, and it made a world of difference.
Whitney says
Thank for for posting! My husband is starting to react badly to infusions and it’s good to know surgery isn’t as bad as it seems from far away! Can I ask how long your recovery was from each of the surgeries? Any blogs/resources you’d recommend?
Alexandria VA says
I was planning on purchasing my 20 month old a few child friendly kitchen utensils rather than a play kitchen. I have limited room and he has a play kitchen at daycare. I was planning on starting with a water proof smock, a vegetable scrub brush, a plastic bowl and a step stool. He loves getting to play in the sink and watch us cook, so I thought it would be worth a try. I will be cleaning up messes, but hopefully I will be able to get some cooking done also.
Mrs. Jones says
for small hands dot com has lots of cute kid-sized utensils and tools. FYI.
H says
The 2 year olds in my life seem to love the toys where they can “cut” vegetables. Something like this:
https://www.amazon.com/HiCrazyFunny-Cutting-Fruits-Veggies-Toddlers/dp/B01KDX94VY/ref=sr_1_10?s=toys-and-games&ie=UTF8&qid=1481312478&sr=1-10&keywords=veggie+toys
dc mom anon says
We let our two year old use the real utensils in the kitchen. she uses a butter knife to cut cheese (it was DH’s idea to introduce knives). So, honest question, with all the talk about a play kitchen, utensils, and food – if we let our kid play with the real thing, is it less imaginative play? I am realizing that she doesn’t really do much imaginative stuff and starting to go down the i’m not doing enough spiral.
mascot says
You’re fine. I never saw the appeal of getting my kid pretend cleaning supplies when he was thrilled with swiffers and spray mops (and my floors got cleaned-sorta). He’s got scaled down cooking supplies too that he uses on real food prep. Although he thinks its play, he’s picking up real life skills. We can save the imagination for things that won’t ever happen, like fighting dragon pirates.
Spirograph says
You’re fine. Or at least if you’re wrong, I’m wrong with you. My son loves knives! I let him help me cut strawberries (with a butter knife, after i’d already cut them in half so they wouldn’t roll) to make a pie once and it was basically the highlight of his life. He totally mangled them, but it was adorable.
Ditto the swiffer — I rarely use it, so we took a couple of the segments out of the handle so that it is kid size, and my kids will literally fight over who gets to clean the floors. I hope they’re this enthusiastic when they’re old enough to do it efficiently.
GCA says
Hive! We did extended-family gift draw (large family), and are getting a gift for soon-to-be-5yo nephew. What would you get a 5-year-old who LOVES legos (but has a lot of them) and is curious, smart, and super active? I was thinking science toys, and looking for more versatile ones rather than kits that only do one thing. Suggestions? TIA!
mascot says
Marble run, magna-tiles, remote controlled car/truck, walkie talkies, are all things that my similarly situated boy loves. Science kits (like snap circuits) are cool, but the kids don’t have the reading skills to follow them so they require parental help.
Anonymous says
Pogo stick, unicycle, magnifying glass, microscope (the one I had growing up taught me how to create slides, so I could just get flecks of EVERYTHING IN THE HOUSE to examine)
Anonymous says
… oh, 5 is a little young for those gifts. Sorry.
Anonymous says
Magnetism kit? I loved mine when I was a kid, and I’m pretty sure I got it for Christmas when I was about 6. He may be a little too young for the ones with iron filings and electromagnet setups (unless his parents are into helping with that), but there are a lot geared toward younger children. Pair with magnatiles, maybe?
total aside, I can’t wait until my family gets on board with the gift draw thing. My siblings need to have kids already.
In House Lobbyist says
My 6 year old Lego lover also loves his Magna tiles and plays with them several times a week. I am also buying him a marble run this year. He also loves books where you make paper planes or dragons or ninjas. My husband has to help him but they love it. He is also getting a pogo stick. He likes the Magic School bus kits and general science experiments kits. He will still need parents to help with those.
Anon says
Learning Resources has a little scientist kit that you can use for “real” experiments like combining yellow + blue water or examining insects up close. My 4.5 yo niece loves hers!
https://smile.amazon.com/Learning-Resources-Primary-Science-Lab/dp/B00LD6UI9I?sa-no-redirect=1