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A few weekends ago we went to a party, and my 10-month-old, Harry, had his usual necessities clipped to his shirt: a Binky on a cord, and this ZoLi teether on a second cord. One of my good friends (a mom to three) had never seen these kinds of teethers, so I thought I’d share. The idea is that the baby can stick them far into the back of his mouth, because even though the molars and back teeth don’t come in for months, they may already be growing and hurting. My first was never a big fan, but Harry cannot get enough of them. You can get a set of two of them at Amazon for $10 (free shipping, but not Prime). ZoLi Gummy Stick Baby Gum Massager
(We like these pacifier clips, but I’ve also gotten a bunch from Etsy.)
(L-2)
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- The concept of “backup care” is so stupid…
- I need tips on managing employees in BigLaw who have to leave for daycare pickup…
- I’m thinking of leaning out to spend more time with my family – how can I find the perfect job for that?
- I’m now a SAHM and my husband needs to step up…
- How can I change my thinking to better recognize some of my husband’s contributions as important, like organizing the shed?
- What are your tips to having a good weekend with kids, especially with little kids? Do you have a set routine or plan?
SK says
Yes! These were the only teethers my son actually used regularly. He was never a huge fan of teething rings or anything else we tried to give him. But these he kept using for probably 6 months, and they held up really well. We also used them to make mini-popsicles when his gums were really sore.
Lyssa says
I have a concern that I’m pretty sure is entirely stupid, but I’d like to hear thoughts. My first baby was breech, so I had a planned c-section, and I’m having a second for the currently cooking baby. I attend a large group practice, and, although I think that I technically have a doctor who is officially mine (Dr. A), the policy, which I think is good, is to have pregnant women see as many of the docs as possible, so she’s likely to have met whichever one is available for the delivery. I’ve liked all of the docs there.
When we realized my first was breech, the timing to plan a c-section wound up best with the one doc that I hadn’t yet seen at the time (Dr. B). I was able to get an appointment with him next, and we wound up really liking him, and the c-section went really, really well.
Anyway, I’m ready to schedule my repeat c-section now, which will take place in about 2 months. I have a visit scheduled tomorrow with Dr. A, but I’d prefer that Dr. B do the surgery (no reason to believe that Dr. A is not perfectly capable of it, but we had such a good experience with Dr. B). When I asked about scheduling, the receptionist told me to talk to the doctor – so, here’s the thing: I feel really weird talking to Dr. A about it, but saying that I want it with Dr. B. Like that would be an insult to her or I would be saying that I don’t trust her on it or something. That’s dumb, right?
Manhattanite says
It’s your body and you should have some control over who cuts into it. Feel free to tell dr A that its not personal, but this what you’d prefer. Or just ask about how to schedule w dr B without apology. You don’t owe an explanation.
Anonymous says
Not dumb. Very empathetic on a personal level, because it’s very personal to you. But keep in mind it’s very professional to the doctor, and A might still have to do it, but you can definitely ask for B.
I see some options:
-Ask Dr. B. first – through a message or call back system? And then ask Dr. B. to talk to Dr. A. about it.
-Tell Dr. A you’d feel more comfortable with Dr. B. I see Dr. A trying to reassure you that everything will be fine A (and it would be) so you might have to stick to your gut and insist a few times to go with Dr. B. if possible.
I hope it works out for the best. If it does have to be A., just remember how comfortable you felt with A. last time.
TBK says
I can’t imagine the doctor being hurt. It’s totally reasonable to say that you had a good experience with B and you’d like B to do the procedure again this time. I’m sure A will be sufficiently professional to understand.
blueridge29 says
Just had my second c-section last week, two breech babies and I agree that if you want Dr. B stick with Dr. B. There are so few things you can attempt to control during pregnancy that is worth a slightly uncomfortable conversation with Dr. A.
Carine says
+1. It is a completely reasonable request. I work in healthcare; this sort of thing happens frequently and I really, really doubt Dr. A will mind or take it personally. My circumstances are pretty much identical–we had the best experience for my first section for breech, with a doctor I hadn’t seen before. I will definitely be requesting him for the repeat!
EB0220 says
These look nice! We love the banana toothbrush that serves largely the same purpose.
http://amzn.to/1KC5qVK
KJ says
Same. We recently started trying to brush my baby’s teeth, and she definitely thinks the toothbrush is fun to chomp on.
JJ says
I know several people have asked about jewelry with birthstones, etc. on it that doesn’t “look” like the typical “mom jewelry.” I ordered a ring from GV by Gemvara a few weeks ago and wanted to report back on it (I know Mother’s Day is coming up…). I got the Bypass ring in silver, and put the birthstones for each of my kids in it. I think the total was $70 (we’re lucky that the kids have more affordable birth stones…).
I love it. I wear it on my right hand every day. It’s small and simple and understated, which is exactly what I wanted. The customer service was also great, so it was an all-around good experience. Not being compensated in any way for this – I’m just very happy with the process and the result.
MomAnon4This says
Thanks!
Manhattanite says
Love it! Will be keeping this in mind for a holiday present after no2 arrives. Thanks for providing the review.
PregAnon says
These are great! I really like that Liana ring…and I could get my birthstone + husband’s and baby’s! That would be fun.
Meg Murry says
I love the look of this ring, but my kids birthstones are 2 of the uglier ones (IMO), and especially don’t go well together. I might explore the “spelling out initials” options instead that someone mentioned when you were asking about mother’s jewelry before. Or maybe one of the stackable options mixing in mine and H as well to balance it out a little more. Possibilities, possibilities.
MomAnon4This says
Thank you for this bc my kid’s (possible) birthstones also look ugly together IMO (November + May). My husband rolled his eyes at me about this. But it’s a real thing! I looked at adding husband’s birth stone or our anniversary stone or maybe even my birthstone to bring it together.
EB0220 says
Same here. I have a February (amethyst) and a July (ruby). Not a great combination. If only my July 31 baby had waited a few more hours because amethyst and peridot would have been pretty!
Green Skittles says
Thanks for the idea! The options look much nicer than what I’ve seen as “birthstone jewelry” in the past.
TBK says
Perfect timing! One of my guys is working on four new teeth (ouch!) and has been trying to cram his teething ring waaay into the back to get at the new ones. Just ordered a pack on Amazon — Thanks, Kat!
MomAnon4This says
My mother-in-law is crocheting possibly the ugliest blanket I’ve ever seen for the new baby.
She knows it looks weird. She doesn’t know it looks ugly.
Oh gd, what if the kid loves it and wants to bring it everywhere like Linus?
I just said, Thank you! It will be perfect.
I know I’m lucky to have such problems (?). Trust me, this is not a problem. Just had to vent so I can focus on the other problems. But, since you trust me — it is ONE UGLY BLANKET.
Meg Murry says
Use it when baby is a newborn – chances are there will be a diaper blowout or spitup mess, then you can bleach and oops “ruin” it. Or you can put it in a box and “save it for good”. Trust me, there are plenty of ways to lose a blanket.
I hear you on MILs and dubious taste – some of the things my MIL buys/makes, oh goodness, they are so not my taste (or anyone but her’s really). As MIL problems go, there are far worse ones to have, but oh does it make it difficult to make happy/appreciative noises when opening gifts.
MomAnon4This says
Love it and LOL! THANK YOU!
Anonyc says
One of the long-running arguments between me and my husband relates to a similar situation: his beloved sister made each of my kids a personalized blanket (partly using his childhood drapes, I think?) that has writing and pictures all over it. I find them fugly, plus they do not match at all the decor of the kids’ room that I picked out after a lot of sleuthing and searching. I’ve acquiesced to have the quilts hung in the kids’ room in our previous apartments; we were renting, so I wasn’t really able to really decorate fully, so I cared less about coordinating. Still, we bickered about it each time we’ve moved and set up the kids’ room. We have now finally bought a place and I am really trying to make the kids’ rooms nice, not ugly, and more decorated (like, matching curtains, rugs, and nice bedsets; nothing P’trest worthy but far better than we’ve managed before).
Last night husband said he wanted to hang these d*mn quilts up and we started our familiar back-and-forth. Right now I’ve punted, telling him we should let the kids decide. (My backup is, and has always been, that we should put them away to keep them safe.) I realize that my desire for rooms that look nice versus the love that went into making this quilts makes me a petty grinch, and I feel like it’s hard to argue against sentiment, so I’ll probably cave again. But man, I am tired of having most of an entire wall/walls covered with clashing, weird looking cut-up figures from 1970s drapes. Also that this is exactly the kind of dispute that I have mocked when watching HGTV.
MomAnon4This says
I also feel this pain every time I watch “The Sound of Music”. Fraulein, it’s totally OK to just throw the drapes away!
JJ says
Yes! I have a MIL with taste that is SO DIFFERENT than mine. My kids are toddlers now, and for Christmas she bought them matching black leather double-breasted jackets. This isn’t soft leather, it’s stiff leather that stands up by itself if you put the jacket on the ground. I have nothing against leather jackets generally, but these are so not our style and so ridiculous. We hung them on our coat hooks in the entry way, so it looks like they’re worn every now and then if MIL comes over to visit.
And don’t get me started on the smocked jumpsuits with our alma mater all over them. For a three-year old.
CHJ says
My aunt-in-law embroidered a blanket for my son and spelled his (very conventional) name wrong. Think “Patrik” or “Jonatan.” At first we were kind of put off by the weird blanket, but now it’s become one of our favorites because it’s so funny.
Momata says
Relatedly – what do you all do with the handmade items your children receive? I have several handmade blankets and quilts that are too “nice” or not durable enough to actually use as blankets (and machine wash), but I’m very anti-clutter and don’t want them just draped around.
Lorelai Gilmore says
1) Use as art on the wall (particularly good with a quilt)
2) Just use them and accept that they won’t last forever.
Maddie Ross says
I’m firmly in the camp that there is no item for a baby that is “too nice” to use. All quilts get used. If it lasts, awesome. (case in point, I am using a quilt my great-grandmother made for me with my daughter) If it doesn’t, it was used and appreciated.
anonymama says
Ditto. But every handmade blanket that we got was machine-washable… I’d recommend checking with the maker on how to wash, or just go for machine wash gentle cycle. Yes, even delicate 30 year old hand-knit sweaters survived just fine.
MomAnon4This says
Just bc it was handmade, doesn’t mean it can’t get washed. Definitely check with the maker.
Also, it was my mom so it’s different, but I’ve brought loved and used blankets back to the maker to wash! (And then also kept them)
MomAnon4This says
I’ve really enjoyed all the replies in this thread, thank you!
FWIW says
Really selfish request, but can I just get some good vibes for my ttc journey? I’m at that weird point where logically I know I shouldn’t be concerned but my emotions are getting the better of me.
My doctor isn’t concerned and is wonderful- she tells me just to relax and it will happen when it’s supposed to. I am also just surrounded by all these babies who I love and don’t want to avoid, but holding them is so bittersweet because I realize just how much I want one.
Also, the internet had become a minefield- simple things like going on amazon are now littered with baby products I might like (stupid baby shower gifts) and the farmers market sends my ovaries into overdrive. Any advice for coping?
Pogo says
Oh hi are you me?? I’ve been wondering how you’ve been doing!
I wish there were more stories of women who tried for 7-8 months and then had no problems. All I hear about are people who get pregnant right away, and people who spend 2+ years and end up with IVF. I think all you can do is remind yourself of the statistics: that it can take up to a year for a healthy couple.
My go-to coping:
-Don’t test unless you have to (for me, if I am going to drink in my 2WW I test, otherwise – wait for period)
-Think ahead to milestones in your job that you’ll be happy to experience un-pregnant (the next 6-8 months are killer for me, so in a way I hope I’m not in the midst of first-tri awfulness half the time)
-Focus on being healthy – this is twofold for me. One, it’s supposed to help fertility if you’re going crazy with veggies and the gym; two, it’s a nice distraction to have a great, sweaty workout.
-Book some travel or other fun events in the future – it gives you something to look forward to other than your next cycle
Otherwise… that’s all I got. I’m with you sister!!
FWIW says
PREACH IT!
I’m doing all those things… Although I did gain 5 pounds when someone (who doesn’t have a freaking clue about me) said, ‘wow. Ya know, you’ll never get pregnant if you keep exercising like that.’
That plus intense work schedule and some feeling sorry for myself eating- weight gain!
I’m working on positive visualization and spinning things for the better- as in ‘oh, awesome! We have an additional x months to save up our financial cushion’.
I’ll check over here more regularly to see how you’re doing. Also- yes I read Taking Charge and did the O strips and am taking prenatals, but I stopped the strips because I got a good sense of my cycle. Crossing my fingers this is the month!
Pogo says
Seriously, ditto. I have a good sense of my cycle now, so I really don’t know what more I could be doing. Our timing was literally perfect this month. Just have to remind myself that even with perfect timing its only 30% success each month…argg!
fingers crossed for you too!
Newly pregnant says
Hugs to both of you! And Pogo, I definitely was in the “tried for 7-8 months and then got pregnant when I least expected it” camp (as in, was eating raw oysters and drinking way more than I normally do, because I was dead sure that I wasn’t pregnant). When I was 4 days late I figured I’d take a test (because there’s no surer way to get your period than to take a test) and found out I was pregnant. I’m not sure if this is a good story to share or one that hurts, but I was definitely in both of your shoes – wondering what we were doing wrong and knowing that it wasn’t yet at a point where we were supposed to “officially” worry.
I definitely used exercise as a coping mechanism. I figured that I might as well try to be as fit as I possibly could before getting pregnant. I also tried to consciously enjoy the time it was just me and my husband – we went on a nice vacation, we tried lots of different restaurants and activities instead of our usual suspects, we went on long walks, we tried cooking new recipes, etc. In the end, it doesn’t make it “better,” but you can find ways to distract yourself.
anon says
Maybe this will help then:
I had been on birth control for 5 years, then tried for 7 unsuccessful months with my first, then got pregnant on the 8th month. My doctor said if you’ve been on hormonal birth control for a long period of time, it may take some time for your body to get with the program. I got pregnant with my second and third on the first month (that was surprising!). I had a few pregnancy losses along the way, but I eventually ended up with the beautiful family I was hoping for.
PregLawyer says
I tried for 7 months and then had no problems! Those seven months sucked, so I know how you feel. It’s really hard not to get bitter when it seems like everyone around you is getting pregnant and having babies. Getting your period becomes truly sad. I cried at least once, and my poor husband felt so helpless.
I started celebrating each period by doing things I definitely couldn’t do if I were pregnant or had kids – lots of cocktails and wine, sushi, random and spontaneous socializing with friends, etc. I also started working out more. It happened, though, on my 7th (or 8th?) month! So far everything has been pretty straight forward and complication-free (knock on wood). I’m 28 weeks today.
It’s going to happen. Just remember that it’s much more common for women to get pregnant than it is for women to experience complications. I think it takes this long for a lot of women, they just don’t talk about it as much.
anonymama says
We tried for a year and then got pregnant, no problems or interventions. I think it’s pretty normal… it was frustrating, but I told myself I wasn’t allowed to freak out until at least 12 months. And I had about 5 close friends and relatives get pregnant in that time, so it was hard. It’s also good practice for all the things you can’t control when you are a parent.
TBK says
We wound up having to go the IVF route, but I remember those 13 months before we gave up very well. My best coping strategy is what Pogo suggested — I always made plans for when my period was due that would require me to be not-pregnant (think wine tasting, white water rafting, just sitting out on a patio and drinking with friends, reservations at a great sushi restaurant). Sometimes (like rafting) they even required a deposit, which I happily paid. That way, if the test was negative, I could say “well, at least I get to [fill in the blank.]” It didn’t fix it, but at least there was something to look forward to.
But as for all the preggos walking around, yeah, I hear you. It’s just tough sometimes. Also, my fertility doctor was located sort of inside an ob/gyn ward, so all us IVF folks got to walk past a waiting room full of pregnant women and women with newborns on our way to getting poked with various needles (and other things). It was pretty awesome.
I think the best way to cope is to just be open with your friends. If you’re up for holding their babies, tell them. If you’re feeling down because you got a negative test and prefer a baby-free weekend, no reasonable friend will hold that against you. Meanwhile, be as crazy with your husband as you can. Go out and see every movie you want to see. Go to an amusement park and enjoy not having kids in tow. Have bedroom time without looking at the calendar (and enjoy not having small people running around who might walk in on you, or cry and need you at any moment).
Hang in there. It’s so not-fun. I hope you get good news soon.
Msj says
Good luck. Although I was one of those that ended up getting referred directly to Ivf (which happily worked!) I still remember the waiting period sucking. Once you start actively trying it’s really hard when it doesn’t immediately work
I second the scheduling of fun activities that you can’t do while pregnant. I also wouldn’t worry about drinking during the two week wait unless you are planning on a crazy evening. Staying healthy is also a great idea. And try to make the ‘trying’ as enjoyable as possible
If you’re noticing any irregularities in your cycle definitely talk to your OB. But I wouldn’t make yourself crazy with temping and charting. If you want to be proactive, you may also want to look into acupuncture. It may be premature but I found it helpful to manage the stress of the whole process and there is no downside if you have the time /money (at least if they don’t push herbs on you, my acupuncturists never did so it’s not anything I’ve researched)
buffybot says
Ohhhh, I am right there with you both. Nothing but support and empathy and SO TIRED of people asking and hinting about babies. I am steadfastly refusing to let on to anyone in real life that we are “trying” (because man do I hate that terminology), but I am constantly shocked at the diversity of people in my life who are concerned with whether or not I’m having unprotected fun times. (And…let’s be honest…at this point, they’re a little less fun.)
The rollercoaster of each cycle makes me feel a little crazypants. And it’s hard not to feel like a month is REALLY long.
Pogo says
I haven’t told anyone except my mom and closest girl friends. I mean, can you imagine people at work knowing? I feel like they’d instantly picture me having the unprotected fun times.
This thread was really helpful. I’ve been away from the board for a bit since I’ve been so swamped with work. I think what’s hardest is that though Mr Pogo and I mentally put ourselves in the “ready to be parents” camp, we aren’t there yet. It’s such a weird place to be.
anon says
Browse a whole lot of non-baby things on amazon so that what pops up for you are, say, electronics!
FWIW says
Thank you all so much! I’m almost crying at my desk (posting on phone) and feeling so much less alone.
I’ve told my best friend and just recently told my sister, but it’s just a lot. Also, husband is away for work often so out of 6 months, we get maybe 3 chances.
Thank you again for talking me out of my negative place.
Pogo says
HUGS!!!
And I feel you with the travel. We both travel quite a bit for work as well. I try to tell myself that’s another thing to enjoy pre-kiddo. Once we have kids, I know one or both of us will have to scale back. For now, I love my nights of wine, netflix, husband out of the country, and no kids! And when I’m travelling, expensing lots of drinks and sushi, and not feeling guilty about missing anything back home. It just makes things difficult when you and husband need to be physically in the same location a specific 3 days every month!!
TBK says
This might not be feasible, but I had a friend who was on a case where she was traveling constantly and, like you, was only hitting the window like once every three months. Ultimately, her husband started traveling with her from time to time. Not sure what your husband’s job is like, or whether you can swing it, but especially if he’s going to a fun city and it’s right during GO time, you could make a mini vacation out of it and tag along for a night or two.
FWIW says
I wish this were an option, but his work travel is more along the lines of ‘go out to an oil rig for 3 months’ or ‘go follow a remote Amazonian tribe for 2 months to make a documentary. He doesn’t travel to places I can access without major difficulty and expense.
GG says
We tried for a year. I went in for the procedure where the doc uses dye to check on the tubes and ovaries. BOOM, got pregnant that month. Sometimes it just takes a little while. Best of luck and lots of hugs.
Marilla says
+1 to this – I finally pushed my doctor to send me to a specialist (after 18 months, one miscarriage, and my doctor just telling me to relax) and we got pregnant during cycle monitoring without anyone doing anything. I’m calling this the Heisenberg pregnancy… someone finally paying attention was what kickstarted it!
lucy stone says
We tried for almost two years, seriously for about a year, with no diagnosed problems and there is currently a miniature Stone Blackwell in my uterus wreaking havoc with my emotions and my ability to stay awake past noon.
I also hated people asking about it and the unrelenting pressure from certain mothers-in-law.
OverIt says
My friend just forwarded me this thread b/c I was sobbing in my office after finding out for the 2nd time in 4 days that a friend/family member is pregnant.
Thank you ladies for making me feel less crazy and letting me know there is a community out there of ppl just like me that are TTC and aren’t in the immediately pregnant or the IVF track.
Wiping my tears and now coming up with a plan to redirect my attention!
Traveling with baby in London says
What is the best way to get from a London airport (Gatwick or Sanstead, most likely) with an infant? Two adults will be toting one 10 month old, plus several bags and a suitcase. I love the idea of a door to door taxi, but I think that may be super expensive?
Are carseats required in taxis? How about buses? If taking the train, how does one manage up and down stairs? Are there elevators?
Merabella says
there are elevators to the tube if you decide to go that route. a cab can be SERIOUSLY expensive depending on which airport you are coming into and your final destination in London itself.
Nonny says
Gatwick – use the train. There is an express from Gatwick into London that takes less than an hour and is not expensive. There will be lifts (elevators) in the train station. London being what it is, it is best to pack on the assumption that the two of you will have to carry your luggage and the baby to/from trains yourselves.
I am not sure about Stansted but I think there is a train from there into Liverpool St. Station.
Don’t plan to take the Tube with all your luggage – in many Tube stations there are a fair number of steps (and not always lifts) and it would be very difficult to manage them with luggage plus baby.
I can’t speak to taxis but carseats are not required in public buses and the bus system in London is fantastic. I highly recommend that you get yourselves Oyster cards as soon as you arrive in London, and plan to take the bus everywhere. There are always strollers getting on and off buses in London – a very common way of travelling with a baby.
Nonny says
And because I was interested, yes, a baby can travel in a taxi without a car seat:
https://www.gov.uk/child-car-seats-the-rules/when-a-child-can-travel-without-a-car-seat
Traveling with baby in London says
This is really helpful – thank you!
Does taking the train from Gatwick into London, and then a taxi to the hotel make sense? We’re staying in Kensington.
Nonny says
Yes, the Gatwick Express runs to Victoria Station which is not far from Kensington.