I’ve shared my own tips for potty training (and how I royally screwed it up with my first child!), but I know it’s a frequent topic of conversation among the commenters. So let’s discuss: What ARE your best tips? What things did you try; what were your biggest challenges? Did anyone have an Especially Difficult Time — for example, I know one parent who was advised to give her child not one, not two, but THREE enemas because of encopresis. *shudder*
My Best Tips for Potty Training
To summarize my previous post, with my first child we did it ALL wrong — we started too late, we put him undies right away, we didn’t devote more than a few hours to it at a time. (The WORST advice I got during this time period was to get him underwear with his favorite character on it and then emphasize NOT to pee on the character. Poor, poor Thomas the Train… Let’s just say he had a few unexpected visits to the Water Works.)
With my second child, we started way earlier — in fact, he had a severe language delay, so when we started at around month 29, he barely had enough words. (Well, he had a LOT of words, but he was dropping syllables at the beginning and end of words, and sometimes using the wrong sound entirely to signify a specific word, so… yeah.) I was really worried that he wouldn’t be able to communicate his needs to us!
That said, we had an amazing time with the method laid out in the book Oh Crap! Potty Training by Jamie Glowacki. Unlike my first son, once my second son got it, he GOT IT. (We used to joke that he was a VAULT… I can probably count on one hand the accidents he had.) And it turned out to be great for communication for parents and child.
(With both kids, peeing was a bit different than pooping — with my second, we’d put a diaper on him for naps and sleep, and without fail he would poop in it almost right away. Still, after a month or so (and a lot of encouragement, and perhaps the promise of a special candy or treat) he got the hang of pooping in the toilet, and BOOM! Just like that we were done with our diaper years with our kids.)
Readers, how about you? What things did you try and fail at for potty training? (If anyone has particular experience on this and would like to write an anonymous guest post on any of those trickier issues – constipation, encopresis, etc — we’d love to have you!)
Stock photo via Stencil.
Betsy says
My best advice is to wait until your kid is ready. This is hard, especially when peers are potty training at 2 or earlier. But neither of my kids wanted to potty train until after 3. Then, suddenly, they asked for underpants and potty trained basically overnight. Thank goodness we didn’t force the issue earlier–I think it would’ve been painful for everyone.
Elle says
Know that potty training can take years, with incremental progress as you inch along. We started with my daughter a few months after she turned 2 and didn’t finish till she was 4. The pandemic probably prolonged it, but still. I thought we would never get there.
The final accomplishment was using the bathroom at her Grandparents’ house. She just wouldn’t go there, even if she would use the bathroom anywhere else.
Don’t be afraid to remove all the diapers from the house or use Miralax. I really worried that removing the diapers would be detrimental in some way. But not having that to rely on helped her get over the feelings that were holding her back.
An.On. says
How do you know your child is ready? We’ve had some signs (like interest in sitting on the potty, going to the changing table afterwards, acknowledging that they’ve pooped) but it’s not really consistent.
Ano says
I knew my kid was ready when I had a long weekend available to do it and when I talked to him about it, he didn’t refuse to acknowledge the conversation like he did the last time. My criteria was not high.
Betsy says
We were in different versions of that phase for a LONG time with my daughter. She had a bit of interest in the potty around 2 because of her classmates and knew when she was peeing/pooping. We would regularly (not constantly) ask her if she wanted to try peeing on the potty, and she generally said no. Then, one day, she said yes, but only before bathtime. She was about 3 at the time. We did that for awhile, then she told us that she wanted to wear underpants all the time and use the potty. No accidents, easy transition. Having a variety of fun underpants in the house helped, too.
Kat G says
I always heard a child was ready when they started seeking somewhere private to poop — one of my guys would go behind the TV and grunt, and the other would go hide in his little playhouse.
Anon says
I don’t think every kid does this – mine didn’t.
HSAL says
None of my 3 did either. My oldest was actually poop trained before pee because I would see That Look on her face and rush her to the potty.
Anon says
My son did this starting around 1.5 but he is 2.5 and still refuses pull ups and any form of potty training. I’m sure he will one day want to potty train…
anonM says
If that’s the interest, I would start adding potty to your routine, like trying on the potty before leaving for an outing, before bedtime, etc. Low pressure. Then you can see- are they actually using the potty? Are they efficient at the mechanics of getting on the potty, pulling up pants, etc. I learned the hard way that interest and curiosity are not the same as actual readiness.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
+1 – DS #1 potty trained at roughly 3.25.
I don’t even plan to touch it with DS #2 until at least 3 (he’s 2.5).
Anonymous says
For some kids, it’s a switch. For others, it’s….a dimmer switch. I have 3 kids and one was potty trained basically over one weekend. She pooped her undies exactly once and that was that. The second started refusing diapers but also hiding when she had accidents, so that took a while. My third really wanted to be done with diapers but wasn’t ready, so we went the pull ups route (which i swore as a POOPCUP I’d never do!). But honestly? It bridged the gap between 2.5 and 3 for us and allowed her to feel like a big kid even though she wasn’t really ready.
Happy to report on the other side that my kids are now all 5-10 and not in diapers. They do eventually get it!! FWIW my (still in PK) 5 year old does still have the rare accident because she is too busy to stop and pee. We deal with it and move on.