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I like to thumb my nose at dreary and gray fall weather with something bright and cheery, like these rainboots from Joules.
This new-to-me British company specializes in bright, fun clothing and rainboots. These rainboots come in 20 (!) fun and whimsical patterns ranging from bright florals to cute puppies.
These pull-on Chelsea-style rainboots feature a rubber upper, walkable one-inch heel, and faux fur removable insole. They’re perfect for the cool, rainy days ahead.
Joules’ Wellibob Short Rain Boot is $69.95 at Nordstrom and comes in whole sizes 5–11 (several patterns sold out).
Sales of note for 4.18.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 50% off full-price dresses, jackets & shoes; $30 off pants & skirts; extra 50% off sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything; extra 20% off purchase
- Eloquii – 50% off select styles; 60% off swim; up to 40% off everything else
- J.Crew – Mid-Season Sale: Extra 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off spring-to-summer styles
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Spring Mid-Season Sale: Up to 50% off 100s of styles
- Nordstrom: Free 2-day shipping for a limited time (eligible items)
- Talbots – Spring Sale: 40% off + extra 15% off all markdowns; 30% off new T by Talbots
- Zappos – 29,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Up to 70% off baby items; 50% off toddler & kid deals & 40% off everything else
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off spring faves; 25% off new arrivals; up to 30% off spring
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Up to 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off kids’ spring-to-summer styles
- Old Navy – 30% off your purchase; up to 75% off clearance
- Target – Car Seat Trade-In Event (ends 4/27); BOGO 25% off select skincare products; up to 40% off indoor furniture; up to 20% off laptops & printers
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
dc booster says
DC/DVM area folks, any intel on where to get a booster vaccine? I’m pregnant and would like to get it, but my OB’s office doesn’t have them available (and isn’t recommending or not at this point, maybe waiting on ACOG?), and my primary care doctor at One Medical doesn’t have them. Do you just pop into a CVS?
Anonymous says
You go onto the CVS app and schedule an appointment. Super easy.
Anon says
This, except I did it through the website, not the app. CVS’s interface was easier for me than Walgreens, having booked them at both and had to cancel the Walgreens one since my husband was sick (not with Covid). Definitely make an appointment though, and remember to bring your original card (which was not in the instructions).
Anonymous says
You can also schedule one at Grubb’s Pharmacy in Capitol Hill, if that’s convenient for you.
TheElms says
Safeway has the Covid 19 vaccine too. And some pediatricians have vaccines as well (if you already have an older child).
AwayEmily says
It may differ by state (I’m in NYS) but I found the Walgreens online scheduling system easiest to deal with. I’m also pregnant and got my booster ten days ago (a next-day appointment — they had a ton of openings).
NoVa Rova says
I know in NoVA that there’s a site near Tysons. I think it’s county-run. Not sure if you have to be a county resident. Have seen plenty of signs at many pharmacies and grocery stores too.
anon says
In MD suburbs you can get them at any pharmacy (CVS, Walgreens, Safeway, etc). Make an appointment first, but you could probably also just show up. We also still have weekly vaccine clinics and they’ll give out boosters as well.
Anonymous says
In MD you can also get them at MoCo county mass vaccine/testing sites like Montgomery college
Anonymous says
In VA, Walmart takes walk-ins. Much easier than messing with the on-line registration.
Anon says
How many pairs of shoes do your preschoolers have? DS has one pair of sneakers, one pair of rain boots and one pair of sandals. He’ll get new snow boots in winter. I noticed that the other kids at pre-K have multiple pairs of everyday sneakers. Does my kid need another pair?
TheElms says
We have two pairs of sneakers (not uncommon for my kid to soak through her sneakers in wet grass on a weekend morning and then she doesn’t want to wear wet sneakers in the afternoon), rain boots/winter boots (depending on season), summer water shoes, and a pair of dressier shoes.
Anonymous says
Right now we have three pairs we rotate through (two pairs of sneakers and some slip-ons). We’ll probably retire the slip-ons and get a pair or two of boots for the winter in the next month or so. Generally we try not to wear the same pair two days in a row, but I don’t think we need more than 3-4 pairs.
AwayEmily says
My kids are the same as yours. Each has one pair of sandals, one pair of sneakers, and one pair of boots (Bogs, which double as rain and snow boots). They wear the same pair of sneakers every day. Literally they have never worn anything but sneakers to school. A few times it’s caused problems (can’t find a shoe, shoe gets wet, etc) but not enough problems to make me buy a second pair.
Anon says
Same here. My kids wore their one pair of sandals every day this summer; now that it’s colder they wear their one pair of sneakers to school every day. They do come home with stories of “so-and-so has so many different shoes!” but have never asked to personally own more.
PreK does ask for a spare set of shoes to be sent in their backpack along with their spare clothes, but we just ignore that because I don’t want to spend $30 on a second pair of sneakers in the same size for “just in case”.
Boston Legal Eagle says
I definitely don’t notice what other kids wear on their feet so if one pair of sneakers works, there’s no need for more. We like to have at least two pairs of sneakers as one pair tends to get wet and needs to be dried out, but if that’s not an issue for you, no need to have more. Our kids also have a pair of rain boots and a pair of snow boots. Crocs/keens in the summer. We never go anywhere that requires “dressy” shoes so luckily I haven’t had to buy any.
Anon says
so my kids each had only one pair and i learned the hard way that they definitely need a second for when the other shoes are too wet. my kids have 2-3 pairs of shoes that they can wear to school per season (i don’t let them wear sandals to school) most certainly do not wear a different pair of shoes every day of the week. i have girls, but i’ve gotten them one more athletic type pair and then one ‘cuter’ pair
GCA says
Each kid has two pairs of sneakers (in case one gets wet due to unexpected puddle-stomping), one pair of sandals, one pair of rain boots, and one pair of snow boots. They really only wear sneakers to school. Sometimes the boots go along to daycare depending on weather, but kiddo can put extra footwear in her cubby.
Anonymous says
My son is 9 and this is basically all we have ever done. Sneakers + either sandals or snowboots, and rain boots when he was younger. He does wear out the sneakers faster but since he outgrows shoes every 6ish months anyway, it seems to work. We do not go to church or seem to have other dressy occasions.
Anonymous says
All sneakers: indoor shoes for school (live there mostly), outdoor shoes for school / sneakers that live at home but stay clean ish (so far this has been “dressy” shoes for say a family picture), another pair of sneakers / hiking shoes (sometimes one of each) that get very dirty.
Seasonal: rain boots, snow boots (with hand me downs it can be nice to have a back up pair*), sandals or keens and Crocs or natives
He has a lot of shoes in part because he does get a bunch of hand me downs
*e.g. when another kid wears your kiddo’s size 10s home and leave their size 8s!
Lily says
It’s whatever works for your family! I tend to overshop for my kids, but the upside is that I shop way less for myself these days, because shopping for them scratches that itch for me. My 3 year old has one pair of athletic sneakers, which she wears to school probably 80% of the time and on weekends if we’re doing something active. She also has 2 pairs of ked/vans type sneakers in fun prints which she wears to school occasionally and on weekends with dresses because I think they’re cuter than the nikes but still allow her to run around. She has one pair of dressy sandals, one every day pair of sandals, and a pair of natives for the summer. She has a pair of rain boots and I need to get her some snow boots for this coming winter. And then she has some fall ankle boots which she may wear to school but are more for weekends to wear with tights and dresses.
But I realize this is too many shoes for a 3 year old! We intend to save most of them for her baby sister (probably not the sneakers as much, since she wears those into the ground, but definitely rain/snow boots and the dressier sandals and ankle boots).
Anonymous says
Yay! A fellow overshopper!
My 2 1/2 year old has two pairs of rain boots, two pairs of sneakers, and three pairs of sandals. Part of our large shoe inventory results from my parents buying him things since he spends time at their place every week and they want to have a stash of stuff for him. But he’s also a dirt and puddle seeking missile and it’s nice to have extra dry and clean shoes ready to swap into when needed.
If he were older and his shoes were more expensive we’d be less extravagant, but at this point this works for us.
Anon says
Not unless they are getting wet or dirty and need a day between wears to dry out or you think you need an extra pair because they are getting worn out too quickly.
Shoes that I purchased that I think my child needs for the year: one pair sneakers, one pair dressy sandals, one pair play sandals that are water friendly, one pair rain boots (which she is wearing today even though it is not rainy), one pair snow boots and one pair “dressy” ankle boots (her non-sandal weather dress shoes). She wears the sneakers or the rain or snow boots to preschool each day.
Additional shoes my mother has purchased in the past year for my daughter (without asking, but meh they are the right size and make both of them happy): another pair of ankle boots, clogs, two pairs of flip flop sandals (but with backs), crocs, and sueded mary jane style shoes. So yes, my child has a shoe collection that rivals mine, but not because I thought it was necessary.
Anon says
My kids have similar: one pair of running shoes, one pair of Crocs, one pair of water shoes (Keens or similar), and one pair of rainboots, which they wear in the snow with wool socks. My nine hear old has a separate pair of snow boots. We buy running shoes twice a year so the old pair is still usable as a back up.
I do wish they had dress shoes, but we don’t go to church in person anymore, so I don’t see the need. I feel like if we had more choices for everyday, it would take the kids forever to pick a pair in the morning.
I am fully prepared for this to change as my nine year old gets older…
Anon says
One pair of current sneakers plus a slightly outgrown pair of sneakers that lives at daycare. In the winter we buy one pair of snow boots and send to daycare. We don’t do sandals – they make my clumsy kid trip a lot and they aren’t necessary since she is happy to wear sneakers year round.
Anonymous says
Two pairs of sneakers (or in summer one sneakers and one sandals) plus rain boots.
They get stinky and need to be washed frequently so it’s good to have two to alternate.
Anon318 says
Just venting for a minute to those of you who can commiserate. My kids were off school yesterday and today, but I could only wrangle half days off due to work craziness. Because I didn’t have to do school drop off this morning, I joined my old early morning run group with friends I haven’t seen since school started back. When I got home, my son asked why I always have to work and why I can’t stay with them the whole day. I’m resisting the guilt, but, dang, sometimes it just feels like you can’t win.
EDAnon says
My son asks all the time why he cannot stay home from school. I remind myself that he actually enjoys school once he’s there, it’s good for him to go, and none of us would be happy if I quit my job to stay home (or my husband did). Making that my mantra helps!
Also, good for you going with your running group. You’re being a great role model and keeping yourself feeling good.
anon says
re running group: I had this “aha” moment that got me back working out again (bought a stationary bike). Our kids will hopefully be grateful one day that they were raised in a caring, loving, secure home with basic necessities met and then some. But beyond that, they are not going to thank me and may actually be upset at me for some of the “sacrifices” I was making. They’re not going to thank me for not making my own doctor’s appointments (nor will my boss!). They’re not going to thank me for ignoring my own physical health by not exercising. You’re allowed to do things you enjoy sometimes.
Anonymous says
I cannot agree that kids don’t expect sacrifices. I remember one conversation on the main page where people complained about how lazy their moms had been. One commenter held up the example of a childhood friend’s mom, who got up at 4:00 a.m. to work out and bake for her family’s breakfast, then worked all day and showed up at school pickup in a cute outfit, as the contrast to her own deficient mom, whom she described as so lazy and depressed that she sometimes served bagels for dinner. It seemed like a genuine comment. Our kids definitely do expect us to sacrifice ourselves to provide them with a picture-perfect childhood, and they are going to complain to their therapists when they are grown up about all the sacrifices we didn’t make.
Anon says
This seems just awful of the adult child. Maybe if they have kids of their own, they’ll understand how much innate sacrifice goes to into the most “lazy parenting”. Bagels for dinner sounds great btw.
DLC says
Oh man. You can’t win the parenting game, it seems.
I struggle with this- not sure if it is because i’m the daughter of Taiwanese immigrants- but my mother prioritized me and my education in a way that I don’t see myself doing for my own children.
I was in a different activity every week, I had mandarin classes, test prep classes, sports…. my mom drove me everywhere. She chose a line of work where she could set her own hours, getting up at 4am to start work. She sewed our Halloween costumes (even though it was a completely bizarre holiday for her)… I never saw her go on “girls’ nights” or take time for herself or have coffee with friends. The only time I saw her exercise was when she took us to swim laps at the pool. She wanted to be a writer, but she didn’t get back to writing until i was almost done high school.
And of course I took it all for granted.
But… even as a grown up, realizing the choices that she made to put her kids at the center of her universe… I feel really guilty sometimes that I don’t have it in me to make those same sacrifices for my kids. Maybe they’ll complain about me in therapy. Maybe not. I think that is more indicative of the personality of the child than the parent.
There was an episode of The Mom Hour lately where they talked to the mother of Figure Skater Adam Rippon. And she made a comment about how (paraphrasing) when people ask about the sacrifices they’ve made to get their kid to the Olympics, her response is that they aren’t “sacrificing”, they are “prioritizing”. I’m trying to sit with that thought as I struggle with my failure to be a Tiger Mom.
Anon Lawyer says
I suspect the “depressed” part of that is the key and not the “bagels for dinner” or “not wearing cute outfits.” If your parent is in a place where they can’t give you the emotional attention you need as a kid, that does have impacts and you might project it onto all sorts of things like bagels for dinner, especially if you haven’t worked through that yet. One comment on a blog doesn’t mean you’re messing your kids up by not getting up at 4am to bake for the day.
That said, our kids probably will complain about us in therapy! That’s fine and healthy – I’ve spent plenty of time talking about my parents in therapy, not because I don’t love and appreciate them and not because I wanted my mom to be more cookie-cutter perfect Stepford mom, but because they are human and made mistakes and that impacted me in various ways. But we have a great relationship today all the same.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Yes, whenever people say one day our kids will complain about us in therapy… well I think that’s great and means they’re prioritizing their mental health! Being in therapy was one of the best things I’ve ever done for my wellbeing. I hope my kids grow up to value that! And I’m sure they will find things to complain about from their childhoods.
My parents valued me but also prioritized their own lives and wishes (and yeah, some of it made me lonely, which I went into in therapy), but I think it also taught me that I, especially as a mom/woman, don’t have to sacrifice everything just for my kids.
GCA says
Yes, agree it was probably the ‘depressed’ part of that speaking- and that is all the more reason for moms to take care of ourselves and at least put on our own life jackets at the same time as we care for our families, to be honest.
Honestly, I may have whinged as a kid about my mom never coming to parent-teacher conferences, but I am so damn proud of her as a role model – she worked full time, still works part time, reads, works out, and since her 40s has served on her school’s alumni board and at her church. Granted, we lived with my grandparents and had all kinds of free and low-cost childcare and household help to make this possible, but I’m glad she placed a high priority on serving her patients and her community.
anon says
There are certainly ridiculous standards for moms! But, what I was getting at is that if you get sick because you don’t do the bare minimum for yourself, your kids won’t thank you. They’ll be mad at you. My wake up call, for some perspective, is thinking of my cousins, who lost their mom to cancer, and now their dad has cancer — after skipping screenings that maybe would have caught it. Or my coworker who died of a heart attack after not going to the specialist referral. These two health issues made me think that if I don’t make time for things like my annual screenings, the dentist, whatever and I die, my kids will be mad, not thankful that I put myself last. I know it’s harsh, but it got me to schedule some appointments.
Anonymous says
I wouldn’t use the main page as a guide. On the main page, multiple people said that they thought women divorcing husbands “just because they are unhappy” was selfish with regard to the womens’ children. To me that’s an insane sentiment — you don’t lose a right to personal happiness by become a parent!
Anonymous says
FWIW – I am horrified that I harassed my own mother about why she wasn’t a SAHM when I was little. I remember doing this (she’s never brought it up) and she must’ve felt awful every time I did it. But she had been a SAHM and didn’t enjoy it and LOVED working. Thankfully she had enough self awareness to realize this and stay the course. Maybe just take it as a compliment that your kid loves hanging out with you? And novelty makes things fun.
Anonanonanon says
I was the opposite, I sobbed and sobbed and sobbed about losing my Nanny when my mom became a SAHM. Apparently, I called my mom “Miss (first name)” one day when I was little and it destroyed her because she thought I didn’t see her enough? I have literally no memory of doing that and probably did it because the neighbor kids called her that LOL. I assured her it was not that deep whatever the reason.
AnonMom says
My son wants to be an astronaut for Halloween and wants me to dress up as his rocket. Is there a way for me to do that without wearing a box?
Anonymous says
Wear a white sweatsuit decorated with windows and rocket markings. Add a silver party hat for the nose cone. Done.
Anonymous says
My son has the same request!! I was thinking of doing more a “night sky” – black clothes with star stickers. could you make a space ship to pin on your sweatshirt?
Anon says
Silver dress + red party hat? Something like this: https://studiodiy.com/diy-space-family-costume/
Anonymous says
Ooh, a fit-and-flare dress would make a great rocket.
anon says
silver outfit and make a rocket backpack – check out PB baby astronaut costume. I’d use some cardboard roll, add red and yellow tissue paper flames, and tie on elastic bands as backpack straps.
https://www.potterybarnkids.com/products/baby-astronaut-costume/?pkey=s~rocket%20costume~3
OP says
Thanks for all the ideas!
Personaly vs Professional says
I’m having a miscarriage right now. It’s early yet but second in a row. I’ve been in IVF for kid #2 for approaching two years. I’m an absolute wreck, to say the least. We’re out of embryos, so we need to do another retrieval and then more transfers.
My question isn’t about the fertility stuff per se, however. About a month and a half ago I raised my hand to make a lateral-to-elevated move in my company. I’m not in law, but best parallel I can think of is I am a mid-level partner in one practice area that overlaps a second practice area, and the head of the second practice area just left and I’ve raised my hand for consideration to take over head of the second practice area. I am not the obvious choice but I also make a lot of sense in other ways and have some preliminary backing from senior people – basically the response was “this is interesting, it’s not a no but you need to do some work to convince us” more or less, which is fair. I need to map out a thorough business plan, which is what I’m supposed to be doing right now, and continue to have some important conversations internally. This is a one-time shot to fill this role. It would be a major career move with some meaningful long term potential, but it would be all consuming before hitting a stride. I’m up for it (under normal circumstances).
Under the best of personal circumstances, this is an uphill fight to prove I can do this. These are possibly the worst of personal circumstances. A big part of me wants just say “F This” and retreat to my current role, which is plenty lucrative, a touch boring/unfulfilling and I’ve been in this same role for 10 years. In many ways, I’m ready for a change and my next challenge.
How do I weigh personal vs professional? The fight within me that got me to the level that I’m currently in is telling me to keep pushing, and that I could never have a second child so why miss an opportunity like this. The very exhausted, very broken, emotionally and physically drained part of me says stand down; this opportunity is a one-time thing but there will be others. I know the fertility battle has a time horizon (not sure when we’d just stop trying, but we’re not there yet) and this career move could be decades long. But the absolute hardest part of the new gig would 100% overlap with continued fertility BS.
FWIW the major decision maker on this front who has given me a very early “definitely maybe” response knows about the IVF but isn’t getting cycle by cycle updates by any means. She’s a working mom and was a close friend before she was elevated to her current role. She had her own fertility issues and at least has some perspective related to what I’m going through. The remaining decision makers are men and don’t know a thing about all this, and I’d prefer to keep it that way no matter what I choose.
TLDR – when/how do you weigh personal circumstances against professional decisions, specifically related to career advancement and taking on more?
Anonymous says
I don’t think having a less challenging rewarding role will make infertility any easier. And I’m so sorry it’s hard.
TheElms says
I’m so sorry. I do think its important to be kind to yourself, but I also think you’re right to consider the long term. It sounds like you want this new role. That would be reason enough for me to go for it. Is it also possible that having the task of getting the new role and then hopefully performing the new role will be a good distraction from the awfulness that IVF can be? (I think that’s more of a know yourself so I can’t really answer that one for you.) I think there are also benefits to going for the new role even if you don’t get it. You’re letting people see you in a different light and that could be beneficial in ways you can’t see now.
Been there too says
This is hard and I’m so sorry. I’ve been there on the miscarriage after IVF front and it’s really just nothing short of horrible. (We were out of embryos too, which was emotionally exhausting on top of everything else.)
I think either decision is a completely reasonable one and there is no clear answer here. For me, I’d lean into the work opportunity because haven’t something else that demanded my focus was very helpful to me when we were dealing with a similar situation. But it’s also okay to decide it’s all too much right now.
Been there too says
) *having* something else that demanded my attention. I hate when my typos change the meaning!)
Anon says
I’m sending you the biggest internet hug right now. I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s such BS that women are expected to go through this silently.
When I’ve had to make these types of decisions, I’ve tried to focus on being kind to myself. This is going to sound so “woo”, but there have been times when I’ve been struggling personally and my body is craving rest and comfort so I choose to step back from work. And there have been times when I’m craving a distraction and challenge, so I jump into work. Trying to ignore either urge winds up just being brutal.
I might be reading this wrong, but it sounds like to me you’re craving comfort and rest. If that’s true: it’s absolutely okay to give yourself that and let this career opportunity pass. Life is long and there will be others. Rest and heal and save your strength for when the time is right.
anon says
This is such wise advice. And OP, I am so sorry for your loss. Miscarriage and infertility are brutal physically and mentally.
OP says
Thank you for this, and I think you’re reading between the lines correctly. I would have said before this point that it’s not in mNA toy D not reach higher in my career – it’s how I got as far as I have. But I just have no other word for how I feel but utterly broken. I’m a shell of myself on a good day right now and I have a 3 year old and husband that deserve as much of me as I can possibly give. I’m in a very demanding job as it is and the thought of giving more to work and less to her/my family (let alone myself) right now is making me rethink this pursuit. I feel like I need to heal, and not use work as the crutch to doing so.
How do I bow out gracefully, if that’s what I opt to do? This is my own making after all, having raised my hand in July when the IVF stuff was closer to equilibrium (between cycles, maybe blinded by feeling normal for a brief period). The one person I mentioned knows vaguely of what I’m going through. The rest do not. I feel like it would be such a failure to the progress made to fight bias toward women in this industry / company. The men in the decision making roles won’t necessarily know why I’d be declining, but I fear they’d write their own ill-informed narratives. Maybe I do this business plan just for optics to some extent, show them I’m serious / desire more, but opt out at a later date, in a few weeks.
OP says
Yikes – editing fail, line 2 … “it’s not in my DNA to not reach higher…”
Anon says
I don’t think you have to give much explanation. I think it’s fine to just say that you’ve decided you’re no longer interested in the position at this time. If anything you can say unexpected personal circumstances. I think as women, we are conditioned to over-explain things.
Anon says
this line “I feel like it would be such a failure to the progress made to fight bias toward women in this industry / company” in your post stood out. i understand why you feel like you have this burden on your shoulders, but it is also such an unfair burden for you or any women (or anyone of any minority group) to carry. i know this is easier said than done, but it is ok to focus on what is best for YOU and YOUR family as opposed to society as a whole.
anon says
They say not to make major life decisions within the year of the loss of a parent or spouse. A miscarriage may not need the same timeline, but it is a big loss. (Not to mention that the hormones from a miscarriage can be brutal.) I wouldn’t make this decision today. Make the big decision about your career in a week or two. Keep the status quo for now if you’re capable or request an extension for medical reasons if you’re not. Give yourself some time to process and heal before making a major career call.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
Everyone has given good advice on the professional front. Sending you love, I’m sorry that you are going through this tough fertility slog.
Pogo says
I did something similar when I was interviewing during maternity leave. I had no where NEAR the personal struggle you are having, I was just… a very early postpartum mom and I was networking with mentors/sponsors and got the feedback that I needed to REALLY step it up to get this gig – though they would support me. I was sleeping in two hours chunks at best, and our older son was going through a challenging time. I said thanks but no thanks.
Then six months later, I was sleeping at least 4 hours at a time, and I landed an awesome promotion.
I am tearing up thinking about you. IVF is so, so hard. Do what feels right – you will know when to gun it for that big role.
Anon says
You don’t need to fight the fight for all womankind right now – don’t take on that burden. If this isn’t the right time, I’d say an unexpected medical issue requires your attention for the next 2 months and after that you can reevaluate whether you can renegade with this process, but right now you need to step back. Then rest and see how you feel a little bit down the road. And take care!
An.On. says
I wouldn’t fault you for not going for it – trying to keep your head above water in today’s climate feels like a never-ending struggle by itself, never mind having fertility issues and stepping up your job. In your shoes, I would say at least make the attempt, but I don’t know what the consequences would be for you if you were to go for it and decide later that you weren’t ready, or if you’re not able to commit as needed.
If there’s at least a little grace period before you have to make a definite decision, I would take the time to decide without closing off your options and hopefully you’ll feel less raw by then.
Coach Laura says
My advice is gleaned from experience but also going for a promotion while being treated for lymphoma. I did it because it was all-consuming, and I needed something to take the focus off my cancer. Not 100% true analogy for you but you get the idea. The other point is “don’t leave before you leave” which may be doubly hard for you now because of the personal stress plus the pandemic.
But if you are so drained that talking to people is hard, then that might be a different decision. You are right that there will be other opportunities.
I think it would come down to whether or not you can see yourself being able to go through the interview process and put forward a good effort. If not, then excuse yourself from the process with very little explanation and gather your strength by being good to yourself and your family.
IHeartBacon says
I’m so sorry for your loss.
As for what you should do, I only have to offer something I read once that guided me into the direction I needed to go when I was once making a very difficult decision and had come to a crossroad: May your choices reflect your hopes, not your fears.
Anon says
for those of you who live in areas with state governments who are handling covid irresponsibly – how do you handle it? i’ve posted before and for the record – i like living in Houston and just wish our city government had some control – and moving is not an option. I am extremely jealous of my friends in NY or California who have measures like vaccine mandates, masks, etc. I feel like covid is never going to end here and the risk calculus is going to be completely different because schools here will never require the covid vaccine.
Anonymous says
Get your kids vaccinated when you can and live your life as normally as possible.
OP says
well yes obviously i will do that, but they are under 5 so it will be a bit. it just sucks that my kids and family will still be at greater risk, even with vaccination, than in other areas of the country
Anonymous says
Yes. It does. But you’re not interested in moving and you can’t keep them in a bubble forever, so that’s where you are.
Anonymous says
Our situation is not as bad as yours in TX, but our state and local governments are not doing a great job. We are not ready to move either for a variety of reasons. We have chosen to drop all non-essential indoor gatherings with the exception of church, where everyone over age 12 in the groups we interact with is allegedly vaccinated and where our family and most people under age 65 are still masking (the old people are refusing). This means no extracurriculars, no gym for me, no concerts and plays, etc. We are also going to stop seeing family with small children, not just because of the risk of COVID but also because of RSV and other day care germs. It stinks, but long COVID is worse.
What really worries me is the lack of enforcement of the school mask mandate. The only way around that at this point would be to switch to actual independent homeschooling, which is a no-go for us.
Anonymous says
You’re going to stop seeing your family? This is insane.
Anonymous says
Yes, the ones with kids in day care whose noses are always running and are too little to properly mask and distance. I can’t afford for my own kids to catch a day care cold or RSV or COVID and be out of school.
Anon says
Eh there isn’t as much correlation as you might think. Right now highly vaccinated Maine and Pennsylvania have higher Covid rates per capita than Texas and Mississippi. Weather is probably a factor, but I don’t think anywhere is fully safe for the unvaccinated right now and there’s nowhere that is really unsafe once you’re vaccinated. County also matters more than state and I’m guessing your county has much higher vaccination rates than many rural counties in the blue states. Everyone with kids under 5 is basically in the same boat, in my view – either you basically isolate until the vaccine arrives or you accept a high probability of your kids getting Covid.
(I live in a red state with incredibly low vaccine rates – much lower than Texas – fwiw, and I don’t think our lives would be much different if we lived in NY. I still don’t feel the benefits of taking kids to the grocery store outweighs the risks when kid vaccines are just a few months away).
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
This is such a good take!
OP says
i am not talking about right now, i am talking about 6 months or a year from now even once my kids are vaccinated. given that breakthrough infections happen, and it is highly unlikely the vaccine will be required at schools here, etc. life for a vaccinated kid in TX or AL or FL will still be riskier than for a vaccinated kid in NY or CA
Anon Lawyer says
Ok, but a breakthrough infection for a vaccinated kid is not going to be risky for them unless there’s something very specific about your kid’s medical situation that you haven’t mentioned. At a certain point we need to accept that we are all going to get it – in blue states or not – and we are going to have to keep up on our vaccines as our best defense.
Anonymous says
Yes agreed
Anon says
Agreed. I think we’re all getting Covid regardless of where you live. My only hope is that my family is all vaccinated before we get it, so once my kids are vaccinated I think we’ll be back to 2019 normal or pretty close (probably wearing masks in crowded indoor situations but that’s about it). Boosters for kids and teens aren’t even a thing and it’s not clear they ever will be, and even with boosters you’re not 100% protected against infection.
Anon says
Then the answer is to move if the risk calculus makes sense for your family.
Anonymous says
Do you want to panic or not? Like. You say you won’t move which I totally get. Do you just want us to agree yup sucks for your kids?
SC says
Even after my kid is vaccinated, I think a lot will depend on variants and where in the cycle/wave we are and what the school’s policy is going to be about testing and quarantine. I am in a red suburb of a blue city in a red state. Vaccine rates aren’t great. Our Covid rates were really high in July and August, there were exposures at camp in July and school in August, and we basically stopped all extracurriculars and returned to masked or outdoor visits with family. I’m a little worried about Covid and long Covid, but I also don’t want Kiddo to miss 2 or more weeks of school.
Now, our local and statewide Covid rates are almost where they were in the summer trough, and my family is going back to almost normal. On Saturday, DH and I had a date night at an indoor restaurant with widely spaced seating and then went to a rooftop bar (proof of vaccination was required at both). I’m only eating indoors in the city, where proof of vaccination is required. I’m not comfortable in big crowds yet, especially indoors, so I wouldn’t risk a concert or football game or indoor bar. We’re still not taking Kiddo to indoor restaurants, but I’d be OK with him doing masked indoor activities (but probably not an indoor birthday party where everyone crowds into a tiny room).
I expect to go back and forth a lot over the next 12-24 months.
Anonymous says
This is about where I am. I don’t see our family ever going back to 2019. I think context-specific risk assessment will be the name of the game forever. Our area was doing well this summer, and we had started doing more. We are now in a sustained plateau that’s nearly as high as the January peak, with no signs of abating until spring, so we are being more cautious now.
Travel and event planning are especially tricky. We already had to cancel our summer vacation, the first one we’d planned in two years, because of a spike at our destination. I don’t want to make any plans, especially nonrefundable ones, because I don’t want to risk the $$$. Work travel is going to be an issue after the first of the year, too. I am putting off thinking about that for now.
SC says
We have not booked any non-refundable travel since Covid began. We’ve been planning vacations where we drive somewhere, stay in a state park cabin or AirBNB (paying extra for refundable) or with family, and do mostly or entirely outdoor activities. We had to cancel a big trip planned for May 2020, but we haven’t had to cancel any of the plans we’ve made during Covid.
Anonymous says
The vacation we cancelled was a beach house vacation, so no $$$ lost, and would have been socially distanced and perfectly safe except that it was to FL during the August surge. We didn’t want to risk having to go to the ER if someone got sick or injured.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
Hey, fellow Houstonian. I agree that our governor has really stifled our very competent city/county leadership. Where we live and in our circles, everyone is great about masking and getting vaccinated. While I don’t feel jealous of other locales, I do not get why individual businesses that are socially conscious (of which there are many) aren’t doing their own mask/vax mandates for service. We have about 70% eligible folks in our county vaxxed which by no means is enough.
I just came back from a girl’s trip to a ski town in a western state and was shocked – NO ONE was masked up. NO ONE. Not even hotel staff (and we we were staying at an upscale chain)! So while things aren’t nearly as robust in Houston as in other major metros, we’re actually (scarily) a lot better than some other places.
EDAnon says
This is how Iowa was when I drove through recently. No masks on anyone! People looked at us like we were crazy.
Anon says
While this may be a pessimistic take: Covid isn’t going away. Me living in an area that has pretended it’s not there for so long just means I am ahead of others who thought everyone would get vaccinated, wear masks and stay home forever. And I say this as a pregnant, immunocompromised mom (I’ve had three shots and get a booster next spring) of a preschooler not yet old enough to be vaccinated. The sooner I accepted that I can’t control others and can only make decisions that are right for my family, the sooner I could make peace with this long slog of a pandemic.
Anon says
Took my toddler with a cold to the doctor this morning. Felt like a Herculean effort getting him to wear a mask and physically restraining him for the covid test, to look in his ears, etc. Just got a call from the doctor’s office that the test came back invalid, so now we have to go back. What a day.
EDAnon says
I am so sorry!
Fence Off Pond? says
I was reading the regular Corporette and someone had a question about a pool at the in-laws’ house. In my case, it’s at our house, and it’s not a pool, it’s a (koi) pond, but probably similar in size to a swimming pool. It’s about 100 feet from the house. We also have two sets of french doors leading to the backyard. What are the recommendations for keeping it safe? The kid is only about 5 months, so we have time to plan, but what would you all suggest?
Anon says
Definitely it fence off, at a minimum. Make sure the fence is high enough that it can’t be climbed etc.
Anon says
(I’ll add that if it were me, I would honestly just consider having it drained/removed.)
anon says
I’d get one of those fences that are meant to essentially hug the pool deck/edge. They’re not cheap but they’re also not permanent. Either way, I’d 100% fence it.
Anon says
Oh man, we have a pond too. It’s a similar size and is too big/weirdly shaped to fence. We have chimes on all of our exterior doors and I have locks at the top that a kid can’t open even standing on a chair. We also stay close by outside (front yard is separated from the back yard with a fence, we usually play out front) and if he’s near the pond he needs to hold our hand. It requires constant vigilance. We also do have back patio that has a gate.
Anon says
I think you need the same security as if it were a pool – a fence and also door alarms, at minimum.
Anonymous says
I would drain it for a few years until the kid is old enough to be safe around it, and make sure to remove any rainwater that’s collected in it. Kids can drown in a surprisingly small amount of water.
IHeartBacon says
Fence it if you want to keep the pond intact. If you don’t want to keep it intact, empty it and fill it with dirt until your kid is old enough and can swim to not drown in it.
Drowning is the number one cause of death for children ages 1-4. (https://www.nejm.org/doi/full/10.1056/nejmsr1804754)
Halloween Candy at Daycare says
Our in-home daycare is having a small halloween party on the 29th. Last year the other parents brought little goody bags, and we totally missed the memo. I’m planning them for this year and staring at our Costco candy bag trying to decide which type of chocolate is the least chokeable for a toddler. Options are the usual chocolate: regular M&Ms, kit kat, snickers, twix. Kit Kats seem the safest if mom/dad break them up. Are M&Ms too risky?
I’m not sending a ton of candy and junk. Just some halloween-themed stickers and 1 or 2 fun size pieces of candy. 3 of the 4 kids are between 1 and 2.5. The other is an infant.
Anonymous says
For kids under 3, don’t send candy. Send mini bags of pretzels, goldfish, teddy graham, Oreos, etc.
GCA says
We’ve done mini Kit Kats and also just straight-up little individually wrapped chocolate squares, like Hershey’s nuggets. If you can swing it, bet other families would also appreciate non-candy consumables (rainbow or shaped crayons, temporary tattoos, mini playdough tubs in Halloween colors!)
Anon says
I would send in Teensy Fruit – it’s like candy without being candy. My kid at daycare did get some real candy, though. Kit Kats were a good one for little kids. Reese’s peanut butter cups also if you have them, you can break them into pieces easily.
TheElms says
I wouldn’t send candy. I would get Annie’s bunnies or goldfish crackers or something like that instead.
Anonymous says
Buy Halloween themed snacks and call it a day — applesauce pouches, pretzels, etc.
Anonymous says
Does your daycare allow nuts? That would cross off several options. But with kids this young, I’d skip candy.
DLC says
Twix. Becaus I would eat any Twix bar my child brings home and not share it with them. I would also hopefully be lucky enough to have kids who would bring home the candy uneaten so I can “check” it first.
Anonymous says
Another vote for no candy. Snack bags are better. Anything chocolate is basically a peanut or tree nut concern. Even candy corn is a no for peanut allergic.
My kid grew out of it, but man, policing that was stressful back then. We would always prefer no food at all.
AnonNoVa says
That “aha” moment is very helpful. I will think of it when my clingy 1st grader complains and whines about me going out for walks or to play tennis. My standard retort (delivered testily sometimes, I confess) is that sometimes parents need/choose to do things that are fun/good for themselves and not just fun for the kids. But thinking of the fact that in the future she won’t appreciate the sacrifice she’s asking me to make now somehow makes me feel better than just saying a kinder version of ‘it’s not always all about you kid.’
Anon says
And you’re doing your child a favor if you teach them the “it’s not always about you, kid” lesson.
RDC says
Extremely low-stakes question – cutest Halloween costume for a crawling baby? I’m thinking some kind of animal. Need to order online. Thanks!
Anon says
definitely some kind of animal. i love babies in animal costumes. mine were little lion cubs the year that they were around that age and we got the costume from carters. i liked that it was two pieces and neither piece was like a onesie (be careful that if you get something with a onesie type of piece it has snaps at the bottom)
TheElms says
Maybe a ladybug? I also saw a pretty cute crawling baby spider costume. Or a snail or a turtle?
Anonymous says
Lobster or crab if you can find one! I deeply regret that I only saw those after my twins were walking.
anon says
Animal. DS was a lion at that age and it was the cutest stinking thing. DD was a strawberry. Also adorable! I miss those puffy, cuddly costumes so much.
Anonymous says
My crawling babies were a chicken, a sheep, and Robin Hood. Sheep was by far the most successful.
IHeartBacon says
What about a turtle or snail? Something with a home on its back since your baby will be crawling.
Tylenol worry says
Looking for some reassurance because G oo gle is scary…my baby had shots yesterday and seemed to have sore legs during the night so I gave him some Tylenol. In my sleep deprived state I gave him a second dose 3 hours later, rather than 4 hours. I called poison control and they said he’s fine, but I can’t shake the feeling that maybe I remembered the timing or the dose wrong and that it’s not fine. He’s really cranky and sleepy today but…it’s probably from the shots, right (he had 4 + an oral)? Anyone else ever have a small Tylenol mishap? (This feels ridiculous when typed out but I can’t get it out of my head)
Anonymous says
Cranky from the shots would be very normal. Calling poison control was a great idea.
Can I suggest keeping notes about the meds you give, especially if kiddo is sick and you’re likely to be frequently dosing (and maybe more tired than usual)? I either keep a note on my phone or sometimes a paper hanging in the medicine cabinet where we log every dose & time.
EDAnon says
My husband and I email each other so there is a record for both of us. But I agree. Also, I have had kiddo spit it out or it spill. And it gets complicated. You can always call the nurses line about what to watch for. I do that – no joke – every time my kids hit their heads (well, in a serious way). I like the reassurance to look for A, B , and C).
That being said, mine were often wiped out from the vaccines, especially when little.
Anon says
don’t sweat it. these drugs are made to have some margin for error, and 3 hours v. 4 hours is not that bad. that said, my fear of overdosing my kids on tylenol means I use ibuprofen almost exclusively – much less scary effects if you somehow accidentally OD! your kid would be sicker if you actually had a tylenol od going on.
Anonymous says
He’s fine! If you had done something wrong, it would be obvious by now.
The last time I called poison control it was because our toddler ate dog food. They just laughed. He was fine.
Anon Lawyer says
Oh, I might be a bad mom – it has never even occurred to me to call poison control when my toddler gets into the dog food. Which happens like four times a week because she likes to help me feed him and then I pull her away when she starts popping it into her mouth. (Again, bad mom.)
Dont Worry says
Let’s say you have a 6 month old, weight 16lb (50th%). The toxic dose for kids is 150 mg/kg. Your baby is 7.25 kg. The toxic dose is 1,088 mg (or 1 gram). A standard dose of children’s or infant’s tylenol is 5 mL (160 mg in those 5 mL). Even if you doubled the dosage (320 mg in 10 mL) at the time you gave it, you’re still well under 1,000 mg, especially considering that you didn’t – your baby metabolized/used the tylenol in between doses.
OP says
I do, in fact, have a six-month-old and he’s 15 pounds, so thank you for this specific scenario! And for all the above reassurance – I like the idea to keep notes and now that he’s old enough will definitely pick up some Motrin. Anxiety, man…
Anon says
With the caveat that I’m not a doctor, it’s ok to overlap Tylenol with ibuprofen, so if my kids are sick, I usually give ibuprofen at bedtime and then Tylenol if they need more in the middle of the night, so I don’t have to worry about exactly what time they had the prior dose while I’m fumbling in the dark with a crying kid.
Anon. says
This is my strategy too.
AwayEmily says
Not the OP but this is a great answer. thanks for taking the time to write it.
Anon says
+1
Anon says
My two strategies for this are:
1) Write the current dosage down at a time when I’m not stressed with a sick/uhappy baby. I just did it in Sharpie on the side of the bottle, but you could also put it on a piece of paper.
2) Use a baby tracker app and diligently the time when I give medication. Then I’m not trying to second guess myself as I remember whether I dosed him at 9:10 or 10:09, etc.
Anon says
Yes!! I gave my daughter a double dose when I was sleep deprived once. I posted about it here at the time. I also called poison control and they were really nice and said it takes about 6 times the dose or so for serious health issues. Don’t beat yourself up!