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Have you started wearing shorts more or less since becoming a mom? For me it’s more — I was always a “t-shirt dress” girl on the weekends, but now it seems like I’m always on the floor with my kids, running around a playground, or otherwise being scaled (either while standing up or sitting down), so it’s shorts for the win. I tend to go for longer shorts for comfort and modesty, but in our discussion on shorts last year, readers really seemed to prefer shorter shorts — in the 4″–6″ variety. If you’re on the hunt for denim shorts this summer, these are one of the few that have a surprisingly solid rating, as well as cute triangular pockets in the back. They’re available in a ton of different washes in sizes 23–32 for $99. ‘Croxley’ Cuffed Denim Shorts
Looking for something in larger sizes? These shorts have pretty decent ratings and go up to a size 18, and these go up to a size 24W. (Here’s our discussion last year on how to wear shorts as an adult, with a sleeker style than you may have had as a kid.)
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Sales of note for 9.10.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 30% off your purchase
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything + extra 20% off
- Boden – 15% off new styles
- Eloquii – $29 and up select styles; up to 50% off everything else
- J.Crew – Up to 50% off wear-to-work styles; extra 30% off sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – 40-60% off everything; extra 60% off clearance
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Extra 40% off sale styles
- Talbots – BOGO 50% everything, includes markdowns
- Zappos – 26,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Birthday sale, 40-50% off & extra 20% off select styles
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off all baby; up to 40% off all Halloween
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Extra 30% off sale styles
- Old Navy – 40% off everything
- Target – BOGO 25% off select haircare, up to 25% off floor care items; up to 30% off indoor furniture up to 20% off TVs
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- The concept of “backup care” is so stupid…
- I need tips on managing employees in BigLaw who have to leave for daycare pickup…
- I’m thinking of leaning out to spend more time with my family – how can I find the perfect job for that?
- I’m now a SAHM and my husband needs to step up…
- How can I change my thinking to better recognize some of my husband’s contributions as important, like organizing the shed?
- What are your tips to having a good weekend with kids, especially with little kids? Do you have a set routine or plan?
consultant's wife says
Long time reader, only 2nd time poster, looking for some advice. I so admire all the working moms on this site, who all seem to have their sh*t together so much better than me. FTM here and DS is 5 months old. I work in biglaw and was fortunate to have a great 18 week maternity leave. DH is a consultant and had an 8 week paternity leave. He went back to work mid-Jan and has traveled Mon-Thurs most weeks since then. I’ve been back to work for about 6 weeks now.
We both love DS, but to be honest, our relationship with each other sucks! I feel abandoned Mon-Thurs when I’m doing ALL THE THINGS for myself and DS and generally just barely keeping my head above water while DH is out of town. On weekends, DH feels like I push all unpleasant tasks to him (e.g., cooking, general house pick up, grocery shopping, DS night wakings, generally comforting DS when he’s overtired from a week of crappy daycare naps). It’s not like I don’t participate in all of those tasks too, so I *think* all I’m asking him to do is carry 50% of the load on the days he’s home. We have a cleaning service every other week, so that is not really an issue.
Not sure if I’m looking for advice, commiseration, or both. Please tell me it gets better! What can I do to resolve things? I’m in the process of making a list of all household and baby related tasks that must be done on any given week. I’m planning to talk it over with DH and see if we can split things up in an agreeable way. I suspect he doesn’t really appreciate the number of things I take care of during the week while he’s gone, all while attempting to make biglaw hours.
Anonymous says
You do ‘everything’ for 4 days a week while he enjoys multiple nights of uninterrupted sleep. If you’re on solo for 4 days a week, it’s not unfair that he’s on solo for 3 days when he is home.
That said, you need more help. Can you bump your cleaning service to weekly and have them change your sheets or do some laundry or wash dishes? Arrange for meal delivery so you don’t have to cook when he is away? Do you have dry goods on autoship from Amazon or can you stock up by buying in bulk every two months from Costco? Arrange grocery delivery.
You’re doing amazing and it does get easier as baby gets bigger and starts sleeping more but the baby and toddler years can be an exhausting slog. There’s nothing wrong with fixing problems with money as much as possible when you don’t have the time to deal with things.
Anonymous says
THIS. If it was my day job to be annoyed at other people’s husbands I would be so wealthy. Assuming the four days he is gone are all weekdays, a “fair” situation that would STILL favor him would be this:
4 days per week you do freaking everything
1 weekday per week that he is home you split “home from work time” through “baby bedtime” 50-50, he takes that night
2 weekend days: you split baby duties 75 him-25 you while baby is awake, he takes all night
If you are breastfeeding and have to be up at night, he does everything else when he is home because when else is he contributing??? Aargh. I get he feels he is tired because he is working all week, not just galavanting, but those nights alone he is getting are a HUGE break for any parent.
consultant's wife says
Ha, sometimes I think I would be wealthy if my day job was to be annoyed at my own husband!
consultant's wife says
Really good suggestions. We do have some of this covered but could add more things to the automatic/outsourcing category. Thanks!
NewMomAnon says
Hugs. I’m 100% certain he doesn’t appreciate the things you do while he’s gone, and I’m sure it feels to him like he’s doing “ALL” the work since he doesn’t see you doing any.
Since you are Biglaw and he is a consultant, is there money available to hire All The Help? For instance, a housekeeper who would pick up, do laundry, grocery shop, and maybe cook some meals? Plus a night nanny for a few nights a week to make your life easier? Plus a babysitter one of the nights DH is home so you two can have a date?
I hate to say it, but without a ton of help, this is going to be a hard situation to maintain. It’s hard to be a dual working couple with a kid, and it’s SUPER hard to both be in professional services jobs as a dual working couple with kids. But it’s worth throwing money at it to preserve the marriage – consider it an investment in your future together.
consultant's wife says
I’m glad others are seeing it this way. I’m willing to throw money at the problem all day long. With these careers, the reality is we have more money than time. I think DH sees needing outside help as somehow admitting we can’t do it on our own (which in his mind = failure).
Anonymous says
There is a book called “how not to hate your husband after having kids” Very good and also funny. It helped me like my husband again.
+1 to suggestion to hire more help.
Boston Legal Eagle says
I know there are lots of women on here who have traveling spouses who can probably provide more concrete examples of what works for them, but I absolutely second that you need more help when you are on solo! It’s hard enough taking care of an infant with two parents, much harder doing it solo, and even more hard when you’re working an intense job yourself.
I’ve seen this happen to many coworkers where one (usually mom) ends up dropping out or switching jobs due to a traveling spouse. It’s unfortunate if that’s not what either of you wants, but if it is, then that is one solution. If you are both interested in keeping your respective jobs, at least for now, I would suggest getting a family member/night nanny/mother’s helper/babysitter to help you out at night, and maybe even on the weekends.
Clementine says
My husband travels for 2-3 months at a time and I have a super challenging job. I went back to work when baby was 5 months, husband left for work at around 6 months and exactly one week after he left I was offered a promotion that was both an opportunity I couldn’t pass up and an 80% increase in workload. I remember those 3 months as probably the hardest slog of my life. I sobbed to my husband that he needed to quit his job, asked him why he hated me, and felt like I just couldn’t imagine what I had done.
And then… it got better. Baby started sleeping longer. We got into a rhythm. I lowered my standards. I started taking help when people offered it. I can give you more concrete solutions if you’d like, but it really truly does get better.
anon says
With two intense jobs and a 5 month old, you’re both going to feel like you’re getting crushed, like you’re each doing 150% of the work. It’s crazy hard. (Honestly, no judgment, but that’s why people leave BigLaw post-kids.) You need to hire more help or look for new jobs.
Anonymous says
DH and I both have 40 hour a week jobs and we agree that it always feels like ‘how can the other person be doing their share if I have this much stuff to do?’ but there really is that much stuff to do. Making a master list of tasks/chores is a great way to divide it up. We split in part based on what’s important to us. DH wants to run the dishwasher every night and empty it in the morning whereas I’d let dishes pile up more so he does that. I want the sheets changed every week but he would let it go two or three weeks so I do that.
Aly says
How I feel for you. My spouse travels 50% of the time (though we did a 2 month stretch recently that sucked). Here’s the deal: you need more help with that little of a baby. I’m Canadian, so I only went back to work when my little was a year. Even then, I was overwhelmed with the sheer quantity of tasks required of me to work full time and take care of my kid. My spouse was like ??? Why is this so hard? *Facepalm.
Based on some advice from the ladies here, I made a list of every single thing that needed to be done daily and weekly to keep our household running. Every thing. Including a estimate of number of diaper changes, because I was getting granular. Then I showed my husband. He blustered a bit, I’m not going to lie. But – but!- the next day, he had completed every thing on the baby’s morning list while I got myself ready for work. At night, I asked him if he wanted to do night chores or bedtime routine. Etc. This was six months ago and it actually worked. I was shocked, but I really think laying out everything that needed to be done made it concrete in his mind. Like he now knew the specific tasks that needed to be completed and he could do half.
In your case, obviously your spouse can’t own half the list when he isn’t around. Same thing here. When my husband is not travelling, he does 100% of the daycare pickups and drop-offs. If we are going out, husband must organize babysitters. And so on. Basically, for us, happiness came not from a fair division of labour – I still do much more- but working out how each member of the team is going to contribute. I think you will be able to find a solution. That solution may be outsourcing! Or it may be him not grumbling on the weekend.
consultant's wife says
We just had this discussion and both feel like we’re doing more than our fair share. I think a super granular list like you’re describing is in order. Glad to know I’m not alone in this!
C says
Probably more, for the same reasons you mention. I am also one of those people who cannot wear long jeans in the summer so it’s short shorts shorts. Camille on the Mom Edit recently inspired me to buy a pair of destroyed Levi cut offs. The inseam is 2 1/2 inches I think…eek
anon says
Probably the same amount? I like the idea of dresses in theory, but my sweaty legs appreciate shorts more. And they’re just way more practical for running around with kids.
anne-on says
Does anyone have any suggestions for shorts that are more either 6″ or 7″ (heck, even bermuda length) that aren’t super tight on the leg? I’m a size 4 in Ann Taylor/6 in Boden but my thighs are now, and always have been muscular and shorts don’t usually work all that well. My overall style is pretty classic/preppy, so the athleta skorts or mesh atheltic shorts aren’t my favorite.
K says
Gap’s boyfriend shorts are mid-thigh on me (rolled up 2-3 times) and I’m 6′ tall. They are not tight in the thighs. They run fairly large so I would suggest sizing down a size to start with. I’m pretty reliably an 8 or 10 and wear a 6 in those shorts.
Anonymous says
+ 1 to Gap boyfriend shorts. Mine are slightly tight in the thigh when fresh out of the dryer, but my thighs are chunky. I leave them unrolled since I want more coverage (old thighs). I agree they run large.
Edna Mazur says
I’m really not a shorts fan but as Kat pointed out, my kids are young enough that I am on the floor with them and climbing after them occasionally on the playground, so dresses/skirts are out. I love the look/idea of the Athleta skorts but am usually on more of an Old Navy budget for my “play clothes”. Are they worth it? Any cheaper alternatives that we like here?
Anonymous says
I started just buying cheap-o “bike shorts” (legging shorts?) to wear under skirts.
mascot says
Try Columbia or even skorts marketed for golf wear (they have pockets). Costco hade some skorts in store recently, but they didn’t have pockets.
BPS says
Hi Consultant’s Wife! I just want to let you know I’m in the trenches with you. My husband works for BigLaw, I have a pretty demanding job, and our son is 5.5 months old in daycare. While he’s not on travel, he works the later nights and I do solo parenting most of the week. I have to +1 everyone who says outsource the help. We use Instacart for groceries almost every weekend, have a lovely cleaning service monthly, and I’ve even hired a trainer to come work out with me. I also end up working from home 2-2.5 days a week which helps a lot. I’ve realized if I’m not strategic with those days (e.g. doing a load of laundry, squeezing in a workout, chopping veggies) when I have a “break”, it would be really rough. I was always a desk luncher, but now changing it up a bit to take care of other things.
We are working on night sleep right now (naps can come later – he naps crappily at daycare, but they are improving). Right when I thought we hit a groove he woke up 3 times last night (and usually only wakes up once to nurse). Not sure if it’s because we had guests and he napped on the go all weekend, or if he kept getting woken up when me and my husband were in and out of the room (again, guests, so we moved him into our room for the weekend). It’s hard, and we don’t have family nearby (which I really really really miss) but you are not alone!
consultant's wife says
Thanks, BPS! Good suggestions, and it’s nice to know others are hanging in there with me.