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I’m looking forward to traveling again soon, but for now, I’ll make do with traveling through fashion. ME+EM is a British direct-to-consumer brand that makes clothes that are “flattering and functional, with wear-forever appeal.”
This is another great transition piece for those of us heading back to work. These pants marry a formal houndstooth print with a casual jogger cut. The sharp creases balance out the comfy drawstring waist, while the adjustable cuffs and pockets add practicality. For work, I’d elevate these joggers with a silk blouse; for play, I’d dial it down with white sneakers.
The joggers are $285 and available in U.S. sizes 2–12. These Tapered Knit Drawstring Pants from Loft are a more affordable option, marked down to $61.99 with an additional 60% off. They’re available in regular sizes XXS–XXL or petite sizes XXS–L.
Sales of note for 3.28.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – Up to 40% off your full-price purchase; extra 50% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50-70% off everything plus extra 20% off purchase
- Eloquii – 50% off 2+ items; 40% off 1
- J.Crew – 50% off select styles
- Lands’ End – 10% off your order
- Loft – 50% off everything
- Nordstrom: Give $150 in gift cards, earn a $25 promo card (ends 3/31)
- Talbots – 40% off 1 item; 25% off everything else
- Zappos – 37,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – 50% off entire site
- Hanna Andersson – 30% off all swim; up to 30% off HannaJams
- J.Crew Crewcuts – 40% off sitewide; 50% off select swim; 50% off kids’ styles
- Old Navy – 50% off Easter deals
- Target – 20% off Easter styles for all; up to 30% off kitchen & dining; BOGO 50% off shoes & slippers for the family;
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
Anon. says
This one is a miss for me.
They still look like jogging pants, and I would never wear these to the office. And I’m saying this as someone who has lived in leggings, sweatpants and shorts since March 2020 and cringes at the thought of even wearing jeans.
Anonanonanon says
Yea maybe they are different in person or the other pictures but these are 100% sweatpants and I’d maybe elevate with a button-up and basic jewelry and white sneakers to run into the office to grab something when expecting 0 people to be there at that moment but looking somewhat decent just in case, but not to work all day in the office with other people there.
Anonymous says
I misread and though they were being recommended for traveling — these look like they would be great for the plane!
Lyssa says
Agreed. These are sweatpants. Very expensive sweatpants.
(I don’t hate the Loft ones, though – still not $60 worth of love, and still wouldn’t wear them to work, but maybe if they were on bargain-basement sale, I could see getting them to wear for errands, travel, and kid stuff.)
AnonATL says
The $300 pairs are hideous. These are tolerable for casual wear.
GCA says
As a person who is short of leg I cannot wear any sort of joggers without looking like I’ve slouched off a field or track somewhere! Definitely not to an office. Not even on the plane to London and into the London office (even post-pandemic Londoners are a starchy bunch).
anne-on says
This. I was in London frequently for work and the accepted travel day uniform was jeans, a blouse and a topper (women could get away with a sweater/scarf vs. a blazer but men were in button down + blazers almost always). I haven’t been in recently obviously, but my coworkers who are going in are saying that jeans on Fridays is still about as relaxed as it gets. Although to echo a comment someone else made ages ago – dresses were always seen as more formal even if they were in more casual fabrics, so I wore a lot of Boden/Hobbs jersey/ponte/cotton dresses.
No Face says
In the winter, I traveled in a cashmere dress, fleece lined tights, and flat boots. So comfortable, warm, and put together. Other times of the year, I wore stretchy black work pants, top, and blazer.
Anonanonanon says
I look like a ballet student who has transferred schools and is now trying to learn how to dance hip hop and my sweatpants are a visual representation of the change within.
Anonymous says
Ha, that sounds like a Julia Stiles movie.
Anonanonanon says
Eeeeeexactly hahahahaha
Anon. says
Hahahaha.
Anonymous says
I am an actual adult ballet student, or at least I was before the pandemic hit, and I do wear joggers over my leotard and tights on the way in to class!
ElisaR says
omg hilarious. thank you i needed that.
Anonymous says
The pictured pants don’t look like anything like joggers to me. They look like something my grandmother would have worn around the house.
I only like joggers that are trim-fitting, like the Vuoris. I would never wear them anywhere near the office.
Anon says
Yeah, these look like sweatpants that are too short for me. Reminds me of being a tall teenager.
Anonymous says
The picture is actually of the LOFT ones. The more expensive ones look a bit nicer me, but I still can’t imagine when I would wear them. And they are definitely way out of my price range.
Anonanonanon says
OOOOOHHH. I want you to know I appreciate someone who bothers to go one click deeper and investigate, lol!
The expensive ones do look nicer, but the cargo pocket on the side of the leg negates that, for me. Like… best-case scenario someone is like “my aren’t those fancy… cargo pants? you’re wearing today.” even if they don’t realize they’re sweatpants? Some people can probably look chic in them, but I’m not one of them.
Anonymous says
This explains why the “houndstooth” pants are actually heather gray.
TheElms says
Maybe if you worked in a profession that was more creative the expensive ones would work as office pants. To me, these pants are the sort of thing that styled just right on just the right person (with the right sort of artsy / edgy vibe in their wardrobe generally) it looks good and then for the rest of us it just looks confused.
Anonymous says
I work in the arts and (a) can’t afford $300 anything and (b) still can’t imagine wearing these to work. Jeans feel dressier. Maybe I’m just old though. I like the way the $300 ones are styled. I guess you need the EXTREMELY rare combination of creative job + well-paid.
CCLA says
Thanks for pointing this out! Was v confused about the houndstooth reference vs pic. Hate the loft ones, but actually like the pricier ones and would wear to work (very much the casual side of business casual, on the west coast).
Boston Legal Eagle says
As a tall-ish person, anything cropped like this just makes it look like I outgrew my pants when I grew 2 inches over the summer. Skinny jeans going down to at least my ankles forever over here, and yes I am an “elderly” millennial.
Anon says
last week many people shared how their evenings work, splitting clean up with their partner or giving each child some one-on-one time with a parent. for those of you who either do a lot of solo parenting or are single parents, how do your evenings look? i do a lot of solo parenting and it is hard with our 3 year old twins. usually one eats dinner at the pace of a turtle, while the other one is done much faster and begging me to play (our play area is visible from the table where we eat), they don’t like it when i clean up and start doing things they know they shouldn’t to get my attention. they get a lot of time with me (i work part-time) and of course are much calmer when DH does solo bedtime once a week. any tips? ideas?
AwayEmily says
I did a lot of parenting on my own pre-pandemic. What worked best for us was very consistent routine. Every single day after dinner, I would say “I will play with you when I’m done cleaning.” And I would follow through, no matter how much they complained. Now it’s become routine, and they know that after dinner is independent play time. It took awhile of being super consistent, though, and also of following through on playing with them when I was done cleaning — so, I would say “I’m done!!! Let’s play!” and then be all in.
anon says
So we don’t do a ton of solo parenting, but for our 3yo twins we’ve had good luck with setting timers. e.g. for dinner everyone needs to sit and eat for 10 minutes, but if one twin is done at that point they can clear their plate and go play. For the slower-eating twin, we’ll sit at the table with him for 30 minutes, but after that we start doing dishes in the kitchen (connected to the dining room) and he can sit and keep eating if he wants.
We’ve also been able to set up the expectation that after dinner is free play time for kids while grownups do household stuff, which means that they don’t expect a parent to play with them after dinner, even when both parents are home.
Ifiknew says
I don’t have twins but my two (2 and 4) children also eat at different paces between 5 and 6 pm. The child that’s done first gets TV time in a different room until bath at 6. If they’re not done by 6, I put it on a plate and offer again one more time after bath. This has become our TV time because it’s so hard to manage with two kids otherwise. I try to eat and cleanup in this hour too. I do a lot of solo parenting so I feel your pain.
So Anon says
My kids are a few years older and it is so very much easier now (and even when my youngest was 5) than at 3. My kids are 7 and 10. We have a pretty consistent rhythm to our evenings. I finish working from home between 4:30 and 5:30. I generally take 30 minutes or so to check in with the kids, see what they are up to, take the dog for a walk with both of the kids or hang out on the deck or front porch for a while. Around 6, I make dinner from a meal kit, which says that it should only take 30 minutes but always takes 45. The three of us eat dinner at the table, except on Fridays where it is pizza on the couch. We finish dinner around 7:15. My kids have to do something to help with dinner clean-up (put away condiments, put their plates into the dishwasher). They both make their own lunches with some help from me (cutting up an apple), and then they can have dessert. They run around like mad people for 15 minutes and I try and tolerate the level of noise. We head upstairs around 7:45 or 8:00. My son takes a shower as I help my daughter get ready for bed. I read to/with my daughter while my son reads on his own. I then spend the next thirty minutes shuttling between their rooms, giving hugs, finding blankets, or whatever. I promise to hang-out upstairs while they fall asleep, so I generally fold laundry or something while listening to a podcast.
I’ve been a single parent for two years now, and it truly has gotten much easier now that they are both a bit older. I also did a lot of solo parenting when they were younger. My advice would be that statements like, “I can give you snuggles after I put the dishes away” were helpful or giving them jobs to do to “help” your tasks may occupy them for thirty seconds, but also know that doing dinner/bedtime on your own at that age is just tough.
Anon says
DH travels a lot for work. My kids are now 6, 4, and 2 but I used to do it while they were younger too.
We take baths every night – except when DH is traveling when we make a game time decision. We read every night – except when DH is traveling when we never read. What ends up really happening is I let the kids play together more those nights. We turn on alexa and do a thirty minute dance party until it’s time for bed. More fun for them and easier for me. I also often take them on an after dinner walk or scooter ride. That can backfire, and often does, if a kid is upset two blocks from our house or whatever, but I find getting out of the house helpful. What I’m realizing writing this is that my challenge those nights is really just killing time alone.
Also noticing everyone else seems to really like routine when solo, so clearly this depends on you!
Anonymous says
I solo parent at least 1 weekend a month if not more (sometimes 2-3 week stretches). When kids are done eating they can play (without me). Then I finish eating in peace. If it’s nice out we’ll go outside. Then baths/jammies/milk. They watch TV while I clean and do dishes. Bedtime for the youngest first while the other one still watches TV. Then bedtime for the oldest. I do any additional cleanup and then take a shower/relax. I try to have most toys cleaned up before dinner so then it’s really just dishes. This may not be a popular answer but I don’t think 30 mins of TV at night a few times a month will ruin them.
Anonanonanon says
When I was a single mom, I only had one kid which doesn’t address most of your issues, but I was a big believer in early bedtime because I could not get anything done until the kid was in bed. Almost no clean-up etc. happened while he was awake.
We came home, I fixed a kid-only dinner and sat with him while he ate. Then, after dinner, it was straight to bath time. I cleaned the bathroom most nights while he bathed or brought in a clean basket of laundry to fold while chatting with him. He was allowed to play in the bath as long as he wanted. After bath time it was straight to PJs, brush teeth, books, bed. Once he was in bed I could quietly play a TV show or something while I cleaned up from dinner, unpacked his backpack and my work bag, fixed myself something to eat, etc. For context, he was usually in bed around 7:30.
Anonanonanon says
I will add that when the days got longer and it was nice outside, we would sometimes detour to a nearby playground before hitting home, but once we got home the routine was exactly the same. Keeping it the same every single night really helped cut down on tears (from both sides! ha)
Anon says
Ok, this is a pet peeve but I need to vent and also ask for any strategies you might have. DH loves to throw things away – I think it’s his version of feeling like he’s cleaning and accomplishing things. I don’t really mind when it’s old kid art, although sometimes that hurts, but it’s more like the leftovers I was planning to eat for lunch, the magazine I hadn’t finished reading. And when applied to kids, it can really make them upset. This morning DS (age 4) asked where his bean plant that’s been growing in the window for the past two months had gone. Bean plant was outgrowing its cup and we were going to plant it outside. DH had thrown it away – it was literally sitting up on a clear sill by itself taking up no important space. I guess he wasn’t privy to any of the conversations about planting it outside? But I think he was around and not listening. DS was super sad – it’s just a plant, it’ll be fine, but I felt bad and like I was letting him down too.
We’ve talked about this for literally years. Any suggestions? Should I just put post-its on anything I want to keep? He’d say I hold on to things for too long, but I think I have a much better handle on what the kids care about and what they don’t. I was going to let the bean plant die a slow, happy death outside after our grand planting for example. Don’t really care if it makes it. And I can always make myself new lunch and not eat my leftovers. I just hate to see waste. He’d rather see a clear shelf. We’ve been together 14 years and married for 7. This isn’t new, but this morning really made me angry.
Anonymous says
Is there a reason he’s not asking you before he throws stuff away? I would think he has free reign to throw his own things away, but joint family items, not so much.
No Face says
This needs to be the rule. He can throw his own stuff out. He needs to check with you about throwing away your things or the kids’ things. You can also have a joint cleaning sesh after the kids are in bed one night a week, where you both straighten up and chuck stuff.
Anonymous says
This is a question where I’d like to hear what your H says in response. Does he just not understand that throwing other people’s stuff away without asking is disrespectful? Was something about each of your examples offending him (smelly, moldy, etc.)? Maybe a general rule of everyone taking care of their own things, and then asking if someone wants to throw something out, would be in order. With food, maybe a rule that something can hang out in the fridge for X days before it’s thrown out?
Anonymous says
It doesn’t sound like you are going to solve this issue, but I think letting him deal with the emotional fallout solo on this might help. And every time he throws out something you needed, ask him to solve the problem – buy you a new magazine, order lunch, etc.
My husband is the opposite – he never wants to get rid of anything and is constantly buying more of specific things (tools, anything hobby related). We live in an NYC apartment and the full-size moving truck had to make a second trip to get all of our crap in it. So I have some sympathy with your husband, as clutter really stresses me out a bit. But I always ask before getting rid of things that I didn’t bring into the house.
AwayEmily says
+1 on this advice for natural consequences.
Anonymous says
He doesn’t respect you or your kids. Hi to marriage counseling.
So Anon says
So I am kind of like your DH – I love a clear surface and have to fight the urge to throw things away. One thing that really helps me on this front is to know what areas I really need to be clear and where having the clutter/collections really doesn’t bother me as much. My daughter loves to have her collections, plants, whatever hanging around different spots in the house. I have said that she can have all of her things, stuff, chaos in her bedroom and the playroom, not in my bedroom or the kitchen area, and other areas of the house are shared spaces so we can compromise on those a bit. If her collections wander into my bedroom or the kitchen, instead of throwing them away (my first instinct), I will move them to her bedroom/playroom.
Anonymous says
There’s a whole section in The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up about how throwing away other people’s stuff causes problems. Maybe share that with him?
But also, I’d explain to him that long term he’s going to turn his kids into hoarders. (I mean, maybe not clinical, but…) If the kids don’t feel their belongings are safe they are going to start hiding them and holding on to them all the time. He’s going to create the opposite of what he wants because he’s disrespecting people’s feelings about their things. If he doesn’t ask about people’s things before he throws them out you need to clarify this situation for him. (I’m not kidding, everyone’s going to say he’s an adult who should modify his own behavior, but it’s been going on for 14 years.) Make a spreadsheet, write down everything he threw away and send him an invoice. For the leftovers buy a grease pencil and write on the box when they will be used by (lunch Tuesday) and if he throws them out before then, he buys you lunch. Tack on $50 everytime a kid cries. You weren’t finished with the magazine $6 to replace it. $1 for the bean plant $50 for the crying. If he freaks out, demand he get an OCD evaluation.
Maybe this sounds harsh, but I know several people who grew up in emotionally or economically abusive households and throwing away people’s things is one way that abusers control them/threaten them. It sounds like your husband is more thoughtless than abusive, but I’d have sixteen kinds of fit over someone throwing away my kid’s bean plant because it’s the sort of thing my great-grandmother absolutely did to make people feel worthless, unsafe, and that their interests were also worthless garbage.
Anonymous says
This. My grandmother’s penchant for throwing things out behind the kids backs is what turned my mom into a hoarder.
Anonymous says
On the other hand, growing up in a pile of clutter is what turned me into a minimalist. Throwing out trash, and a neglected overgrown bean plant in a plastic cup on the windowsill is arguably trash, is not abusive.
Anonymous says
Dramatic much? Literally no one said it was abusive. And tons of people start plants indoors in the spring before moving them outside in May/June.
Anonymous says
Anon at 10:24 asserted that throwing away stuff is abusive and controlling.
Anonymous says
She specifically said it was not abusive to throw away the planting Op’s case?
“It sounds like your husband is more thoughtless than abusive”
And throwing away belongings is 100 percent a tactic used by abusers to exert control. I saw it all the time in my child protection legal practice. Particularly when they had been returned from foster care and brought items with them.
That is very clearly NOT OP’s husband but throwing out belongings is also not benign.
Anonymous says
Natural consequences – he takes kid to garden centre and purchases new bean plant. He asks before throwing out stuff. With clutter, the designated place for each person’s stuff is their dresser or desk. He should put stuff that is not his on their dresser or desk and not in the trash.
House doesn’t just run by his rules – your feelings and their children’s feelings and attachments matter too.
Anonymous says
I tend to come down on your husband’s side here. All of that stuff–dusty kid art, overgrown plants, old magazines–is clutter to me, and having it around stresses me out. It’s even more stressful now that I’m home all the time and can’t escape to my nice, neat office during the day. I don’t think it’s fair to minimize your husband’s need for order by simply writing it off as “his version of feeling like he’s cleaning and accomplishing things.”
The two of you need to sit down and come to an agreement about what’s fair game to throw out and what needs consultation. Some general rules might help. Magazines can stay for two weeks or until they fill up a specified basket. Leftovers can stay for three days. Kid art is confined to one display area, and if there’s a special piece you want to keep you put it in a storage box. In my house, I usually don’t consult with my husband about what to throw out. I generally leave the last two issues of a magazine and ask him whether he wants leftover food before I toss it (unless it’s really old, in which case it gets tossed without discussion). I never throw away anything that belongs to him, but if he has a mess that’s bugging me I will ask him to deal with it.
My husband grew up in an old house full of antiques with a parent with hoarding tendencies, and was something of a pack rat before we got married. After years of living with me in a small house with very limited storage, he’s gotten on board with frequent purging of excess stuff. But the big epiphany for both of us was when we stumbled across the concept of the “Highly Sensistive Person,” for whom clutter and other sensory overload are stressful and overwhelming. He went down an internet rabbit hole watching videos and reading articles about HSP, and came away saying “OMG! This explains everything!” He had always resented my need for solo downtime, my lack of tolerance for background noise and overlapping conversations, and my aversion to piles of old magazines as a personal rejection of him. Lately he’s been making a big effort to allow me some more breathing room and to reduce the noise level in our house, and we’ve both been so much happier and more relaxed. It might help to check out https://modernmrsdarcy.com/common-triggers-antidotes-highly-sensitive-people/ and see whether your husband fits the description.
Anonymous says
You can’t just decide other people’s things are trash and throw them out! Get help.
Anonymous says
He’s not throwing out her stuff, except maybe the magazine. One parent needs to be in charge of purging kid detritus like bean plants and art projects. You can’t keep it all forever. If OP doesn’t like the way her husband is handling it, she needs to assume responsibility for cleaning up the kid stuff.
Anonymous says
Lol “maybe” the magazine? So rude
Anonymous says
Magazines aren’t personal belongings in the same category as books. They are designed to be disposable.
Anonymous says
Where did I say I throw out his stuff?!? I am just saying OP needs to have some empathy for her husband. Gosh, there are a lot of defensive garbage hoarders around here.
Anonymous says
Hahahaha
Anonymous says
You sound super pleasant. Anything you don’t want is ‘garbage’?
Anonymous says
While I get this (I love throwing things out!), repeatedly throwing other people’s stuff away without asking does sound like a lack of respect. OP and her husband should work together on a solution that works for all of them, but they need to start from a place of respect first.
Anonymous says
Right, and OP needs to have some respect for her husband too.
Anon says
I would be asking him to go dig through the trash to see if it’s salvageable.
OP says
Okay, happy update. Y’all made me feel validated. I texted him and he has already identified the type of bean and it will be waiting for DS when he gets home from camp.
We also texted about throwing away things that are his versus things that he didn’t bring into the house – I think that’s a fantastic way to frame things and something I hadn’t done before so thank you! He often gets rid of communal things too, but I think what bugged me so much this morning was that this was definitely not his and I definitely would have told him not to throw it out. Framing it is really helping. Appreciate all your insights!
Anonymous says
Thanks for the happy update!
On kid art, we got a bankers box size plastic bin for each kid. We put their art stuff on their desks and when the desk gets too crowded they decide what goes in the keep bin and what goes in the trash.
Anonymous says
In our house I take pics of all the kids art. I have a folder on my phone for each of our 3 kids. I generally then trash it but if it’s particularly cute, I throw it on the fridge for a while. My 1st grader has a sculpture she made this year for the art show and she wanted to keep it. I said sure, but you need to find it a home that is NOT the counter. She did and it’s happily on a ledge going down to the basement.
Pogo says
Glad you had a happy update! But came here to say, I tend to be the ruthless minimalist in our family but I still always give a quick, “What’s the story with this? Does it need to live here?” It gives DH the opportunity to explain, “Yes that’s my reminder that I need to buy more pool chemicals” (if it’s an empty container of pool chemicals) or “No, I’m done reading it. You can recycle it.” or “I want to keep it, I might use the recipe – you can put it w/ the other magazines.”
OP says
This sounds totally reasonable to me! His apology earlier today was very sincere – he understood why I was upset and I was right, etc. I’m hoping having thrown out the beloved bean plant will be a wake up call to him!
I totally see the way your DH’s brain works haha. That’s the way one of my kids is too. In her own way she’s way more organized than all the rest of us!
anon says
Do you have a place where he can put things that he finds annoying and wants to toss? I’m the declutterer in our household and the only one who throws anything away. My husband would keep everything forever, including sock with holes, unwearable shoes, old Happy Meal toys, and all kid clutter. We’ve hit a point where I do throw away things that really need to go, but which would cause him emotional angst (e.g., his worn out pair of shoes that he replaced more than a year ago). He is grateful that he doesn’t have to emotionally process throwing these things away, as they just disappear and he doesn’t notice. It works for us.
For things where he might need them or be upset, I have an out of the way spot where I can pile his stuff. That way I don’t have to stare at the clutter and he can find a place for it if he’d prefer. Stuff tends to pile up there for a few months before he sorts through it. 99% is thrown out. 1% is re-homed. I’d designate a holding area for things that he thinks are likely trash, but which aren’t his to throw away.
OP says
That’s a good idea. Um, I’d say his decluttering tends to be very quick and dramatic, so he’d definitely have to pause. Like he could pause to ask me if the bean plant will be planted outside as easily as move it to the place?
I probably should have also put – we have a housekeeper coming for a half day three days a week (three small kids and we work fulltime!) so our house is quite clean! Not a hovel! Not that much clutter! It’s just his natural instinct. He’s the type to see a slightly old banana and toss it – I’m the type to plan to make banana bread in the morning.
I’m going to bring up all these ideas with him. I’ve actually gotten so it’s okay when my things disappear, but having DS so sad this morning about his plant made me realize we really need to set some boundaries and I think I have a good vocabulary to approach it with!
DLC says
I wonder if your husband comes from a very neat and tidy childhood? My husband grew up in a house that was very pristine and too much clutter is distressing for him.
So we try to have “clear” areas and “clutter” areas. There are areas I try to keep clear because they are areas of high use/ visibility for him- the foyer, the kitchen counters, the sun room. There are areas which he knows will be a dumping ground (albeit and organized dumping ground). This way, too, I prioritize his “keep clear” areas when cleaning .
The fridge is a grey area but we always try to ask before throwing stuff out. Or sometimes before trash day we’ll go through together. Or he will move things to the downstairs fridge if he’s tired of seeing it.
I think for us, figuring out areas for each person to live to their comfort level was key. Also- asking why this argument is important to each other.
Anon says
I didn’t read all the other responses but I’m a declutterer and my husband is what I consider a hoarder. I never throw out our kid’s stuff without DH’s permission (except art, which he’s ok with me photographing and tossing) and I don’t throw out his stuff either, assuming he keeps it confined to his closet and office. So he gets to keep his millions of socks with holes in them, and I don’t have to see it. He knows that if he starts leaving his cr*p around public areas of the house, I have free reign to toss it, so he cleans up after himself pretty well. It works for both of us, well enough.
2 under 2 says
How does back up childcare work? I’m returning to work soon, office is back to work in person. Kids go to daycare full-time. So far, my mother is the only babysitter we have used. She’ll continue to assist us as she’s able, but she also works full time. What happens when one of the kids wakes up sick, I have a deposition, DH is stuck in meetings and cannot leave, and my mother is not available? How do I find someone who will watch the kid(s)? Do you have someone (several options?) on standby?
Anonymous says
Your husband leaves his meetings. That’s how it works.
Anonymous says
Yup. And the “backup childcare” my work offered never worked/had availability.
Anon says
Yep your husband leaves his meetings.
Anonymous says
More specifically, you have an argument about whose job is more important that day, whose job has suffered the most lately, and too often devolves into rehashing every grievance ever to have existed in your marriage. It’s super fun! Stay healthy kids!
Anon says
Sure, if you can find backups who are available on call as needed, that’s ideal, but it’s hard to find this.
Anon says
We both work full time. Whomever can leave a meeting does. For us, that’s usually me. My job is a lot more understanding and my office is much closer to kids’ schools and home. In this scenario, your DH would leave his meeting. We try to make sure it’s not always one spouse. I’d say I take three out of four kid emergencies, but make him step up for the fourth?
And I’d encourage him to say why if he’s senior enough! Let’s normalize it!
Anonymous says
either you or your husband leaves work and things get rescheduled
SC says
I had a list of about 6 people who might be available on a weekday. If Kiddo woke up sick, I started texting. They were all musicians and actors who made a living by stringing together a lot of different side gigs. They were all referred to me by our former nanny, who was also a musician. That’s probably a pretty rare group, but I know people who have had a similar list from a college sorority, people who work in their church nursery, etc.
Anon Lawyer says
Oh, that’s brilliant and my brother and sister-in-law are artist types who are really plugged into that community so I’m going to try that strategy.
Anonymous says
I would never, ever ask someone else to watch a sick child, and I’d be horribly offended if someone asked me to watch their sick child.
Anon says
+1 I think ‘horribly offended’ is a little dramatic, but yeah, asking someone who isn’t family or a very close friend to watch a sick kid is weird to me in normal times and very much so now.
Anon Lawyer says
Oh, for me, it’s mostly not sick kids – it’s that my parents watch my kid 3 days a week, so if they want to go out of town or otherwise cancel, I need backup. it hasn’t been an issue so far due to the Pandemic limiting conflicts.
Anon Lawyer says
Tried to reply but got stuck in mod and feel the need to set the record straight. My parents watch my kid 3 days a week and now that the Pandemic is over want to take vacations, etc, so that’s the backup I need, not sick kids!
Anon says
+2. I think my jaw would actually hit the floor if someone asked me to watch their sick child right now, and it wasn’t a true emergency. And by emergency, I mean something like parents in a car crash and there’s no one to get the kids at school, not one parent has to miss a meeting or a deposition. I’m vaxxed but I don’t want to bring Covid into my house for a variety of reasons, among them: unvaxxed kids, parents who are very high risk and would have a good chance of dying if they got Covid, being higher-than-average risk for Covid myself due to autoimmune disease. I don’t want to disclose any of that, except maybe the unvaxxed kids, to most people I know.
Anonymous says
Oh, yeah, that’s totally different than watching sick kids.
SC says
Eh, we really didn’t have much choice. My husband was a retail manager, and if he didn’t go open the store, the store didn’t open. I had lost a Biglaw-type job after 2 years of low hours due to a particularly rough pregnancy (September-April), and had just started a new job with that reputation to overcome.
Everyone on the list had the option of saying no. But Kiddo had 4 ear infections in his first 6 months of daycare, so he missed a lot of daycare for that but wasn’t really at risk of infecting others. Things improved significantly once he got tubes. There were also minor things like pink eye, a rash that he needed a doctor’s note for to return to daycare, or the time he got carsick and threw up in the car as soon as we arrived at daycare, and the director saw him, so he couldn’t go for 2 days just in case.
Anon says
Also, consider whether or not the back up person wants to care for a sick kid. My daughter was constantly sick her first year of daycare, so bad that despite our understanding-enough work places my mom was kind to offer to be back up….. until she contracted hand foot mouth herself. Now she won’t go near a kid who has had a fever – and rightly so. Her HFM was lightyears worse than DD’s.
I have a job that has me in meetings I “can’t leave” a lot – client-facing role in finance has me in rooms with a lot of old wealthy men who don’t have a whole lot of sympathy for the working parent. I am also 100% commission, so I have immense pressure to please / do what I’m told. When DD was as sick as she was in her first year, you know what? I left. Your husband can, too. And then we got ear tubes and two years later no one remembers that I was in and out quite literally every other week dealing with an infant illness in her first year.
Anon says
+1 Especially with Covid, I think this is a real concern, especially for older caregivers. My parents have been fully vaccinated for months and we still tell them not to come over when DD seems sick.
anon says
We opted out of daycare for a nanny after experiencing the “constantly sick” first year. It just didn’t work for our jobs. We needed less illness and fewer unpredictable sick days. We found a very reliable nanny and it worked much better for us, so much so that we didn’t feel the need for backup care.
anon says
We had backup care through work, and there was never availability on a last minute basis. Because what they do is start calling people when they get the request, so it’s really hard to find someone. We have several options on standby, but I almost never had to go in physically (transactional lawyer). In your case, I agree that DH should dial in remotely. And maybe make a list of other people you can call/beg.
Pogo says
Backup care through work was useful when our nanny at the time went back to her home country for several weeks, so we could plan ahead. It doesn’t work for day-of sickness that I know of, especially since ours was through Bright Horizons or Kindercare or something where you couldn’t send them sick anyway.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Honestly, after working and parenting with no childcare for 3 months, and then having to have both kids home for about a week at a time when one got a tiny cold, while still working… having a sick kid home (just one!) and working is less of big deal to me now. One of you stays home and works with kid home. It sounds like your husband’s meetings can be done from home more easily than depositions, and yes he should absolutely be normalizing covering childcare (not just you or some magical childcare fairy).
Anon says
+1. I only have one kid, but working from home with a sick kid has never been that hard for me. Sick kids sleep more than normal and even when they’re awake they’re generally content to lie in bed all day and watch TV/movies. I also think/hope the pandemic has made WFH when sick or when your kid is sick more common and accepted.
Anon says
Yeah I think one of you leaves, unless you both have jobs where you’re constantly doing things you literally can’t miss like being in court or in surgery. Meetings just have to get missed or taken from home with a sick kid in the background. It is what is.
Katala says
I’ll say that the backup care through my work will sometimes cover this situation. If you know the day before (eg kid got sent home with a fever and you know it’s at least 24 hours before they can go back to daycare), I’ve had good luck getting a one-day nanny through the service. I’ve never used the backup daycare but I assume that would be OK for days daycare is closed, so you have notice.
I had only one or two instances until the past year of the service not being able to find someone to come the next day, or within a couple hours if we asked in the morning. We get 12 days a year and I used them up during my youngest’s first two years in daycare, so it was a pretty good track record. I think they had a bunch of on-call sitter type services available, but the backup service did the legwork of calling around to find someone.
Sf says
Room sharing. The internet’s advice seems to amount to “you’ll be shocked what your kids can sleep through.” I wish! Nearly 10m and 4.5, moved them in together 1.5 weeks ago. They’ve only slept through the night twice since then (rarely had wake ups before). We turn off the night light after they’re asleep because it made the baby want to party. Now the 4 year old is waking up and asking to cuddle- and waking up the baby. Do I move the baby back into the guest room in the pack and play and try again in a few months? If I push through another week will it get better? I’m already using two sound machines.
Anonymous says
Is there some reason you need a guest room with no baby in it?
SF says
all of the grandparents are out of town so we have guests at least once a month if not more. the guest room is also my office.
AwayEmily says
Take everything I say with a grain of salt because I moved the kids together when they were almost-2 and almost-4, and 10 months is a lot different than almost-2. First: yes, it took close to 3 weeks before the novelty wore off and they settled down. Some nights during those 3 weeks, I would lie in there with my kindle until they went to sleep to keep them quiet. We also had good luck using the Hatch light — yellow means no talking, purple means ok to chat, green means time to get up. Both kids got Munchkin owl lights so they could look at books in bed if they woke up and/or had trouble sleeping. Don’t know if any of those will work for you — good luck!
Anon says
Any tips for a preschooler who prefers the company of adults? Is this something kids grow out of on their own? My only child 3 year old is in daycare and her teachers say she plays with other kids normally at school, but they have noticed she really loves to hangout with her teachers (which they didn’t say negatively, just matter-of-factly) and at home she mostly talks about the teachers and how much she loves them and almost never mentions other kids. And whenever we’re in a group of kids and adults she doesn’t know well she seeks out the company of the adults and/or asks me to play with her. I went to a mom’s group today and it was so terribly awkward because all the other moms were standing around chatting while their kids played on a playground (mostly parallel play, the kids didn’t actually seem to be interacting that much), and meanwhile my kid is begging me to play with her and threatening to meltdown if I ignored her for one second to talk to adults. It was kind of a weird situation because I’m pretty sure my kid thought we were having a fun mother-daughter outing today (my fault for not explaining the activity better) and all the other kids knew each other and didn’t know her. And to her credit she did ask one other kid “Can I play with you?” and the kid said no (not meanly, she was just absorbed in her own thing the way 3 year olds can be). My daughter does seem to do better playing with other kids in one-on-one situations but I would like to get her comfortable in larger group situations too because I know they’re part of life.
anon says
Honestly, I think this is at least partly an “only” thing and was probably reinforced by the pandemic. I’d make sure your kid has lots of practice playing with other kids. I’d also make sure your kid knows how to take turns controlling the play. We just went camping with a family with an only and their kid is superficially nice, but does not allow other kids to have ideas in the pretend game. It’s okay for a while, but very, very grating after a while and the other kids eventually starting leaving her out. Then she’d come and seek out her parents, who were happy to play on her terms.
Cb says
I asked this same question a few weeks back (also only child) and got some really good advice about helping my kiddo and working with his childcare providers to do some modelling and scaffolding. It was maybe early may? And now he has 3 little besties and has been playing loads more with kids
AwayEmily says
Ah yes, GiftedGate 2021 (but for reals there was some good advice in there — and i’m so happy your little one found a pack to run with!).
Anon says
Thanks, yeah I think a preference for talking to adults is an only child thing too but didn’t want to say that and offend anyone. I’m an only child myself and my parents say I was the exact same way. I don’t think controlling the play is the issue – she’s 3, so she’s not perfect at sharing, but when we’re one on one with other kids she’s actually pretty good at taking turns with toys and leading games. They work on it a lot at school. If anything she is the kid who lets other kids boss her around more than bossing others, so I’m not too concerned about that. Just want to help her be able to strike up conversations with other kids better, I guess? She will go up to a strange adult in the grocery store and say “You are wearing a blue dress! I love blue! What’s your favorite color?” But for some reason doesn’t seem to initiate conversations like that with other kids. And like I said today it wasn’t even really about interaction since the kids were mostly just running around the playground together ignoring each other. It didn’t seem like she was “left out,” more just that she wanted to stand around and talk to the adults instead of running around with the kids.
Anonymous says
She sounds a lot like my child. I feel like it has gotten a little better recently as we socialize more and she gets older (mine’s almost 4) but I’ve also just accepted that my kid is probably never going to be someone that walks up to a bunch of strangers and instantly gets a new group of friends. That’s ok! Her dad and I aren’t either, and it hasn’t stopped her from being a kind, empathetic kid who has strong friendships with her classmates. If you want her to socialize outside of school (and really, full-time daycare is plenty of socialization), your best bet is kids in her class, because they already know each other and won’t have to break the ice.
I don’t know if this is a factor for you, but I will also say my DD is not very coordinated or athletic and has always been weirdly quiet and reserved on playgrounds, even when we’re alone or with one friend she knows well. When we go to a friend’s house or have a friend to our house, the two kids run off together, but when we meet at a playground it’s “Don’t leave me, Mommy and Daddy!!!!!!” My theory is her lack of physical confidence spills over into a lack of social confidence. Playground + a large group of kids she doesn’t know (especially if they all already know each other – gosh, that’s a tough social situation to walk into even as an adult!) would be a disaster and she probably would have reacted like your child did, or worse. It doesn’t make her some sort of anti-social freak who doesn’t have friends.
Anonymous says
Given the age of the kids she has probably had a more positive reaction from reaching out to adults. If a kid said that to me I would be ecstatic and respond enthusiastically with attention. My 3.5 year old would maybe shrug?
We have similar symptoms with the above noted 3.5 year old – although his is more from shyness. Come September you may see a marked difference as kids become much more engaged with each other.
Anon4this says
This was me as a kid. I think some kids are just inclined this way a bit. I struggled with it through high school. I had to work really hard and still do to make friends. I’m still prone to not getting social interactions “right”. I also see it in my own toddler. She’s still young and more than half of her life has been a pandemic. She won’t approach other groups of kids and has no interest in groups of kids. I’ve signed her up for a group activity this summer and she’ll start a pre school type program in the fall even though she’ll still be 2. I’m hoping those will help.
SC says
The thread about the husband throwing things away got me thinking. My son never wants to throw anything away or assemble them to hand down to younger kids/donate to Goodwill. If I try to engage him, the answer is to keep everything. We even have trouble choosing things to pack for a vacation, or returning library books.
I used to just go around and remove things, and he was small enough to either not notice or move on quickly. But after the last time (before Christmas), there have been several occasions when he’s looked for specific things and been upset that I gave them away.
I don’t want to disrespect his feelings. Does anyone have any tips for engaging a child in making room for new toys by gathering up older items? We are nowhere close to minimalists, but his playroom is overflowing with toys to the point he doesn’t even want to play in there. And yet, I can’t convince him to get rid of anything. And now he’s too old for me to just do it anyways and hope he doesn’t notice/care.
Anonymous says
How old is he? My son used to want to hang on to everything, but now (almost 9) he doesn’t want to keep anything. He also never noticed when I did re-home things though, and I’m fairly ruthless as we don’t have much space. Could you pack things up and put them somewhere in storage (e.g. a basement) for some waiting period – like 6-12 months – before giving them away? Or maybe wait until right before a birthday of gift-giving holiday and say, well, we’re not going to have more room for new gifts unless we remove some things and let him lead the charge? It sounds like he needs an obvious incentive; the value of “de-cluttering” is probably too abstract for him.
SC says
He’s 6. And he has a memory like a steel trap. I’ve tried packing things up and putting them in the garage for a few months–he always notices they’re missing, and they always make their way back into the house, then go ignored until the next cycle.
He has such an aversion to throwing things away that I worry he’d say he didn’t want any new toys if I told him we had to make room. The other day, DH and I were talking about throwing away an old outdoor rug if pressure washing it didn’t work. Kiddo, who had been playing on the iPad, started yelling, “You can’t throw it away!” I asked if he knew what we were talking about, and he had no clue–that was just his gut reaction to the very idea of throwing anything away. (Pressure washing did work, so crisis averted, at least until next spring.)
DH and I are neither minimalists nor particularly sentimental about stuff. I’m really not sure where this is coming from.
Anon says
This is a longer-term solution, but could you get involved in Buy Nothing? It’s helped me move past a ‘keep everything’ mindset. First give some of your stuff away, then get some cool stuff for your kid, then try to give some of kid’s stuff ‘to the neighbors,’ as my 3 year old calls it.
Anonymous says
Well not getting any new toys wouldn’t be such a bad thing, would it?
Re: packing it up and storing it – I meant to do it with his knowledge. Like ask him which things he wants to take a break from for 6 months to see if he still needs them.
It sounds like this may be a deeper issue though. Have you had to move a lot? Have important people in his life disappeared for whatever reason? This is just armchair psychology, please disregard if not helpful.
Anon says
This resonates with me…as a child, one time my parents threw away a set of old bed sheets and I crept out to the trash can on the curb and retrieved them! This is going to make me sound crazypants, but sometimes I get a feeling like toys and other things in our home will “feel bad” if we discard them.
Looking at the comment below…I’m fairly certain I have OCD (functioning) and anxiety, but have never seen anyone for an official eval. So these tendencies could definitely be an indication of something more. But maybe also he’s just super resistant to change? I know I am – slow to adapt, etc even if it’s a positive change and I objectively want it to happen.
My six-year-old is also showing signs of being the same way; it could be an oldest child trait, or other personality quirk within the realm of normal, too.
SC says
Super resistant to change is 100% accurate. Everything from daily transitions to large stuff. Daily examples include hiding under a blanket when it’s time to get dressed in the morning, or screaming he doesn’t want to take a bath, only to spend an hour in the tub and not want to get out even though the water is cold and he’s a prune. Big stuff includes still talking about the daycare he left in March 2020, where he was objectively pretty unhappy. He spent a full school year at in-person kindergarten at a new school, which has been a much better fit, but he’ll tell me why his daycare was better. Also, 3 years ago, we moved to a larger house, about 5 minutes away from the old one, and he spent 1.5 years telling us why the old house was better (trust me, it wasn’t).
Anonymous says
My child is 6, so these ideas may not be useful. I ask him to go decide what to give away. Usually, he wants to keep ALL the toys. I talk through a few things that I think can go and why. Usually I point out toys that are no longer age appropriate, damaged, or have been ignored. If that does not work, I simply put away things that are no longer played with. Everything stays hidden in toy purgatory for at least 3 months before leaving the house as a failsafe. Of course, last month he asked for a toy that I gave away over a year prior.
Anonymous says
We have limits on how much can be keept in each category of toys. One giant basket of stuffed animals, one plastic shoebox of junky party favors, one shelf of puzzles, etc. When the limit is exceeded, kiddo has to go through that category and determine what to keep.
SC says
I like this idea a lot! Anything that’s an external boundary!
anon says
My brother was like this. He refused to throw out anything. He went away to college with every pair of old sneakers he’d ever owned, from early elementary through high school.
He’s really struggled with anxiety and OCD as an adult. My mom really regrets not identifying these issues and treating them when he was younger. She just went with his tendencies and he was fine if she didn’t push. In retrospect, they were symptoms of something more serious.
SC says
Yeah, we’re definitely addressing anxiety and possibly OCD (no diagnosis, but it’s on the radar), though I hadn’t really considered that this particular issue is a manifestation of those things.
Anonymous says
Counterpoint, I cried so hard when my parents sold our car at age 8 that they let me keep the dingy old floor mats. Which I kept for years. And… as an adult I do not have problems with ocd etc and am way more minimalist in terms of possessions and jettisoning stuff. Sometimes it’s just a phase.
Anonymous says
For us is we’re at the stage (5.5) where kiddo is on the edge with the bigger toys (play kitchen, for example). We told her that we can sell her toys on Facebook and use the money for new, big kid toys. She basically wanted to sell everything at that point. So maybe try a similar approach? Let him try to sell some things and then he gets that money.
Anonymous says
I don’t have any great ideas here but am relieved my kid is not the only one who has trouble returning library books or choosing what to pack. Library was closed for a year and the first few times we have tried to return books now have been SERIOUSLY difficult.
Anonymous says
I’d get the Marie Kondo book, Kiki and Jax. It did not help us clear out my kids room, but it at least got her to accept the idea.
The other thing that really helps is toy rotation. It reduces the stress of stuff and gives the kid a lot of time away from things. My kid knows to ask for things she wants and that we have to put something away to get something out. She understands that if she wants new toys that other things have to go away. If she hasn’t asked for something in a while we’re able to talk about whether she wants to keep it or if maybe she’d want that space for other things. She’s five and we’ve done toy rotation for three years now.
Fallen says
My 3yo son who has been with a nanny his whole life is starting full-time preschool in a couple months, I am incredibly nervous about how he will handle it given that he has been so spoiled with one on one attention his whole life. Would love to hear any experiences on how it has worked for others transitioning from nanny to preschool, or anything I can do to get him ready, he’s incredibly attached to me and nanny and hasn’t socialized much other than with his older sister because of covid (hence why he needs preschool!) I am worried about he is gonna handle not having individualized attention given that’s all he knows and how he will interact with other kids his age (his social skills are lacking currently!!) a more minor thing is that he doesn’t nap anymore so idk how he will do with nap/quiet time.
Anon says
It will be great! We transitioned from nanny to daycare at 16 months and it was so great for my only child – she got so much out of being around her peers even at that age, and a 3 year old will get so much more from school. Don’t worry about his lack of socialization. My dad likes to say “All 3 year olds are sociopaths” and it’s a joke but it’s also kind of true. They’re all working on boundaries and sharing and stuff like that, and good preschools teach social skills very explicitly. He will learn. Also if this is a part-time preschool, he’s almost certainly not the only kid who’s never been in a school before.
My kid doesn’t nap either – they let her have a couple books and toys on her cot to play with and ask her to keep quiet. It’s not ideal but it seems to work ok. In normal times there’s a room the non-nappers can go to and play in but that’s closed due to Covid.
anon says
my twins are in the same boat, the difference i guess being that they are twins so they’ve played with one other kid the same age, but they are VERY different from one another. they will also be starting preschool for the first time in the fall. i’m also nervous about it. one of mine is more prone towards separation anxiety though mostly just from mommy and tends to be more like the kiddo mentioned above who prefers to talk to adults, so i’m worried he’ll have trouble interacting with the other kids, while his brother will make lots of little friends and leave twin out. both are potty trained, but one is a bit more accident prone. at home now (especially with me working in the other room), i can hear/see what they are up to, and i think it is going to be an adjustment for me not knowing what they are doing all the time (though our nanny takes them outside for 2-4 hours a day). getting them there on time should be interesting, since right now they can have leisurely mornings. i know that many of you have had kiddos in daycare since day 1 and you’re all super parents to me.
No Face says
For another perspective, my toddler is starting preschool in the fall. She is also spoiled, having been at home through the pandemic. As she is my second child, I am not worried at all! The preschool staff is skilled in socializing little ones. It is one of their main tasks, and they are prepared to handle it.
Hope that helps!
anonymommy says
My 3yo is very attached, and he’s been in daycare since 3mo! If your son is transition sensitive, I would do everything you can to prep him – talk about it, “practice” getting ready, get him a special backpack/toy/cot blanket or whatever that he can be excited about using just at school, show him pictures of his teachers, watch Daniel Tiger episodes about change, have him pick out the outfit the night before, talk through the day (I’ll drop you off, you’ll have snack, play, lunch, nap, play and then “grownnuppps come backkkkk” a la Daniel Tiger song) etc. These things are not fool-proof, but it can help the change a lot. Some kids don’t really need all this (our younger one barely waves good-bye at drop off; 3yo son still often is upset), but some do! Also, it helped my son a lot to have a task at drop off – he walks his little sister to class, but you could just have him take his bag to the door or whatever. You may also be surprised – my son only naps at daycare, hahah!
And what I really wanted to say to make you feel better and relieve some guilt I suspect is lingering is that even daycare from day 1 kids can be very attached and have tough transitions.
IHeartBacon says
Has it been the same nanny his entire life? If so, I would keep the nanny involved in his life for a while during the transition by inviting her over occasionally to play with him in the evenings or the weekends, inviting her to his birthday party, etc. It can be paid, or not, depending on your relationship with her. This way, your son doesn’t lose her traumatically. To you, the nanny is a paid employee, but to your son, she is an important part of his family and he is probably closer to her than to other family members (except you) if he was with her every weekday for the first years of his life.
fallen says
such a good point. we def. plan to keep in touch with our nanny! our older daughter loves our nanny too so it’s def super sad to lose her.
Kids socks says
Recommendations for kids socks? For wearing with tennis shoes – 6 year old. We’ve bought them at target and gap and they’re wearing out and I’m curious if I’m missing something better out there.
Anonymous says
My recommendation is actually the C9 athletic socks from Target. Ours are always still going strong when they get outgrown.
Anonymous says
Could try stride rite, underarmour, or Nike?
Anon says
I’ve been buying them from Polarn O Pyret or Bombas. They’re pricey but nicer.
Anonanonanon says
I’m going to lose it.
My child has a new preshcool/daycare teacher. Who has not reached out to introduce herself to parents which, fine. But she emailed us all without so much as a “good afternoon families!” to explain that we all need to be sending cloth napkins in with our child every day, that lunchboxes should have lids that come completely off because otherwise they take too much space at the table, and several other requests.
I’m just… already overwhelmed. I’m also grossed out by the idea of the kids mixing up cloth napkins (which they will because we get the wrong mask and nap mat home fairly regularly) and the CDC is discouraging the use of cloth tablecloths in childcare settings. Also, why are the kids seated so close together during lunch that they can’t fit a lunchbox with a lid at the table?! Fwiw, I’m in a pretty covid-cautious area (my elementary-schooler has been virtual all year, for example) so this seems out of the norm from what I hear from other parents. Also, this school opened after COVID so I assumed that they had space to seat children somewhat-spaced for lunch.
I’m sure I’m over-reacting, but one more thing to launder/remember/send in is sending me over the edge.
Anon says
Two lunchboxes with lids fully open could be more than 3 feet I think, so I think they could be still distancing the kids pretty well (3 feet is the metric my uber-cautious preschool uses, and I’m fine with it). And I don’t think the napkins are a big Covid risk either, given that the kids are around each other all day and maskless for at least some of it. I hear you on being annoyed at more to launder and keep track of though.
Anonanonanon says
Yea I’m 100% being nitpicky because I’m annoyed that the first time we hear from her is a long list of demands related to lunch, all of which cause me more work I do not have the bandwidth for.
Anonymous says
This seems odd. Policies about lunchboxes, napkins, etc. are usually set by the center, not individual teachers. I’d casually mention it to the director and ask whether it’s a new center-wide policy. Chances are it’s not, and the director may shut it down.
Anonanonanon says
Update: I have transitioned from rage to acceptance and ordered a pack of 20 child-sized cloth napkins. I’m still grumpy about it, though.
anon says
i find it hilarious to think of a bunch of small children using cloth napkins. that sounds so impractical
So Anon says
I hear you on the bandwith! I have zero ability to take on anything else, so this would drive me batty. One of my kid’s teachers sends home similar emails, which come across as “this is the most important thing EVER!” when it is about relatively mundane stuff. I get that this may impact their world, but I do not think that caps lock plus bold plus yellow highlight is warranted about returning a math assessment in second grade or flat stanley anything.
anon says
Oh gawd, that teacher is crazy. I love teachers, but come on. Cloth napkins for preschoolers? Buy a new lunchbox? Nope, no way.
Anonymous says
Beach towel recommendations? The ones we have are from Costco, but we don’t belong anymore. I went to “get some cheap ones” on Amazon, and apparently that isn’t a thing. So if I’m going to be spending a bunch, I want good ones! Recommendations?
Anonymous says
I buy big cheap bath sheets at Target instead of beach towels. They stay looking nice much longer than beach towels because they aren’t printed.
I have heard good things about Turkish towels, which are widely available on the ‘zon.
AwayEmily says
+1 to Target bath sheets. We have big fancy ones from Costco, and also Target bath sheets, and TBH the bath sheets are a lot easier because they fold up smaller. The big Costco ones are just so thick and big that they are a pain to schlep around.
CHL says
I think Young House Love has some recommended that people love. I use turkish towels (peshtamels I think?)
OP says
I’m super out of touch. Can someone explain Turkish towels to me? Thanks!
Anonymous says
Turkish towels have a flat weave instead of a looped terry weave. They are supposed to trap less sand and are smaller to carry.
Anon says
You can order a lot of things from Costco online without a membership. Some things you can order with a small surcharge. May be worth a look.
Anonymous says
Quick dry cheapie ones: Walmart
Halfway decent ones: Homegoods
Very decent thick ones that take forever to dry: lands end
We have all 3 types.
SC says
We love our Costco beach towels! Last summer, I bought some Dock & Bay quick drying beach towels (extra large). I like that they roll up small in a beach bag or a hiking bag, and they do dry out quickly!