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I can draw a straight line between my love of Vitamin E and my mother. For every skin/nail/lip ailment, she wholeheartedly recommends trying it, and buys Vitamin E–based lip balm in bulk. After getting out of the shower, I use regular body lotion and add Vitamin E oil to it. I don’t find that it adds any greasy feeling to my skin, and it absorbs really well. I also rub it directly onto my cuticles when they’re feeling dry and on dry patches on my legs over the winter. When I was pregnant, I used Vitamin E oil to help with the pregnant belly itches and to attempt to prevent stretch marks. This Target brand oil is $4.99 for 2.5 oz, and I also really like the one Trader Joe’s makes. Vitamin E Dietary Supplement Oil This post contains affiliate links and CorporetteMoms may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!Sales of note for 4.18.24
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
Betty says
After a seven month wait, my son (7) and I have an appointment with the developmental pediatrician at the nearby children’s hospital this afternoon. We highly suspect and have a provisional diagnosis of ASD. The appointment is 1.5-2 hours, and I’m not clear on what is going to happen during that time. We have a follow-up appointment later in the month for ASD testing, so I don’t expect any actual testing to happen during this appointment. Does anyone have any insight?
Anonymous says
Likely they will want to take a through history of medical issues. It’s okay to make yourself some notes in advance if that will help. I often have to do that if I’m managing kid at the doctor’s office and trying to have a meaningful conversation with the doctor. Sometimes it’s so hard to remember when I first noticed what issue right in the moment.
Anonymous says
Probably high level discussion of your concerns and objectives and to get a sense of your child’s personality and development before the specific testing is done. Is there a follow-up appointment after the testing is complete? Ours have been largely “getting to know you” visits where the pediatrician interacted with kiddo for a bit and then discussed with us our current most pressing issues and what services we were currently getting, but we first saw her after the developmental testing had been completed and diagnosis established by a psychologist.
My experience so far is that the developmental pediatrician is there mostly to assess whether medication would be appropriate, discuss genetic testing, and to confirm diagnosis. Also for reality checks.
Agree that it is helpful to make some notes ahead of time of your child’s history and what specific issues you want to discuss with the pediatrician. If possible, I’d bring along some books/toys/snacks to engage your child so you can have a more focused discussion with the pediatrician.
Best of luck.
Anonymous says
The later testing is likely with a psychologist. The appointment with the doctor will consist of medical history, you telling the doctor about development concerns, and the doctor asking you child questions. When we were evaluated, the doctor used observations from this type of appointment in the written evaluation.
EB0220 says
Ooooo I like the new theme!
Pogo says
It’s so clean!
Knope says
I would prefer just a slightly heavier font, but otherwise I like it too. Good job Kat!
Anonymous says
Recs for hair clip brands for toddler hair? DD has very fine hair and the only bows that seem to stay are Wee Ones, which are pricey! Any recs for non-slip hair clips that are more affordable?
Spirograph says
We used those little tiny rubber bands, first, and then clipped above them if accessorizing. The rubber bands keep things in place.
Tiny rubber bands are still the only thing that stays in my daughter’s super-fine hair, for that matter.
Anonanonanon says
OK this is probably a dumb question BUT WHERE DO PEOPLE FIND THOSE TEENY TINY RUBBERBANDS? My 8-month-old came home from daycare with a little ponytail one of the assistants did with a tiny rubberband (almost like the size I’d imagine braces rubberbands are?) and I don’t know where they come from.
Anonymous says
The dollar store!
Anonymous says
Also drug stores & target. You can get a pack of 200+ for a couple dollars. Even if you lose a bunch when 5 year old dumps all of them in a fit of rage, you’ll have plenty to last a while. Not that I’m speaking from experience, of course.
Anonymous says
Chain pharmacies like CVS/Rite Aid/Walmart have them.
Anonymous says
Also team rubber bands here. None of the clips we’ve tried stay in our toddlers’ hair for very long because it’s so slippery and the rubber bands are harder for them to pull out.
SG says
I’d love some insight on this, when my almost 2-year old gets upset or has a tantrum she sometimes goes into the corner of the room for 5-10 minutes on her own, completely unprompted. We’ve obviously never put her in a corner and her daycare teachers said she did this there last week (it’s also of course not how they discipline). The teachers were shocked and let her have her space for a few minutes.
Is this normal? Just a kid-quirk?
GCA says
Maybe she’s instinctively recognizing that she needs her own space? Does it help her calm down? If it’s her own choice and not how you, or daycare, discipline, it sounds like it’s a normal behavior and perfectly healthy. I know that when I’m feeling overwhelmed I have to be alone for a few moments.
AwayEmily says
Ours does the same thing — she sometimes needs to be alone to process, I think.
Sarabeth says
I think it’s pretty normal. Our daycare also doesn’t do anything like a time out but they have a “calm corner” with pillows and stuffies, and when a kid is upset they will ask if the kid wants to go snuggle a stuffy in the calm corner. Having a little space helps emotional self-regulation! I’d just be proud that your kid is recognizing her emotional needs so well.
Anonymous says
I think that’s great!
SG says
Thank you all! It sounds like she is self-soothing, glad to hear others do the same.
Induction says
I’m 37 weeks pregnant and starting to get myself prepared for the finish line. My doctor doesn’t have a hard and fast rule about when to induce, but instead discusses it in an informed way with patients to jointly decide. Typically she says she usually induces around the 41 week mark, though. I’m reading up on reputable sources about the pros and cons of inducing at 41 weeks or waiting closer to or all the way to 42 weeks, but there doesn’t seem to be a consensus. The women in my family tend to have babies quite late– many have been born right around 42 weeks and all have been healthy. I’m leaning toward at least asking my doctor to wait until 41 weeks and 3 days, but can’t decide if the pros outweigh the cons of waiting until 42 weeks assuming everything is looking fine with the baby otherwise. I don’t want to borrow trouble, but I’d like to be prepared so I’m not making an emotional decision if/when I’m already past my due date. For any of you who have gone a week or more past your due date– how did you decide if/when to get induced?
Anonymous says
I was born at 42+4 so I was definitely expecting an overdue baby. I had an induction scheduled at 41+0. I read the studies and the risk of stillbirth goes up significantly each day after 41 weeks. I didn’t really care about the risk of a C, I wanted a healthy baby. Baby ended up failing an NST at 40+3 and was induced that day. She was born vaginally despite the fact that I was not dilated or effaced at all pre-induction. I may be biased, because my induction was perfect, but I wouldn’t delay it past 41 weeks.
AIMS says
I was about a week late with both of mine and was induced both times. It went well. My doctor was pretty firm about not wanting to wait more than a week, although she was fine with a week and a day for baby 1. Her reasons were all the studies and the risks. As it was I am really glad we got both babies out when we did. No. 1 had just the teeniest bit of “green” in the water and would have been swimming in that potentially and No. 2 was HUGE and I’m not sure I would have been able to have him w/o a c section if we waited for him to come out on his own.
Cb says
I think it depends on how you’re feeling. In the UK, they’ll let you go to 42 weeks but will induce from 41. I had a sweep at 40+5. My forewaters broke at 41+2 and they would have happily induced then but were willing to let me go 48 more hours with regular monitoring. I went in at 41+5 and I was already in labour. I was pretty comfortable with this – I felt good and really felt like my body just needed a bit more time to get its act together.
Apparently in France, they count 41 weeks as your due date which seems to be much more reasonable and probably avoids some unnecessary inductions.
blueberries says
A friend who delivered in France reported to me that, in France, pregnancy starts for weeks-counting purposes at the estimated time of conception, not at start of lmp. Therefore their 41 weeks would be our 39 weeks.
Anonymous says
Wouldn’t that make their 41 weeks our 43 weeks?
Anonymous says
No, conception is later than LMP so you’d subtract. Blueberries is right that 41 weeks in France = 39 weeks in the US, and that’s why they consider 41 weeks full term. It’s not actually different medically, just a different way of counting.
Blueberries says
Yes, thanks for the correction!
Aly says
My daughter was born about a week past my due date, spontaneously. I was planning to induce the next day because of my husband’s limited leave, honestly. If we went to 42 weeks, he’d only be home with the newborn for 1 week. His job involves extensive travel and is basically the opposite of flexible. However, if you know your family history and babies tend to be born on the later end, it probably makes sense to wait.
Walnut says
Do you need to make a decision right now? I always let my doctors know I’d prefer things to take their own course as much as possible and we’d cross the 41 week or 42 week bridge if/when we got there. I assumed I’d have a late baby because it was very common in my family, but my water broke quite early with both of them.
Anon. says
I assumed I would go late and my doctor’s plan was that if I made it to my 40 week appointment (on a Friday at 40+2) we would plan for an induction early the next week – so just shy of 41. Well, when I went in for that appointment still very pregnant, doctor called to schedule induction and the hospital did not have any available timeslots for scheduled time slots until 10 days later. So I ended up not delivering until 41+5. So, maybe give yourself a buffer? I’m guessing if you’re at 42 weeks they’re going to bump you ahead on the schedule, but if its baby season or you’re close to a holiday keep it in mind.
Boston Legal Eagle says
My first was born at 42 weeks after I was induced at 41 + 5. The hospital where I delivered has a policy of not inducing before 41 wks unless medically necessary so I had to wait until 41 weeks, and since it was my first, I think my OB wanted to wait a little longer. I had more ultrasounds after 41 weeks to check that there was enough amniotic fluid, and there was, so they were comfortable with letting me go longer. I would just wait and see where you are at 40 wks and then at 41 wks if you make it that long, and make a decision then, based on how the baby is looking.
Allie says
I had my first 10 days past due date and it went very well, but I think risk goes up with age so I don’t think I’d go that late again. I may pick between 41 and 42 depending on your age.
Induction says
Thanks, all. This reinforces that there are a lot of different approaches and most people end up happy with what they chose. I suppose I’ll just play it by ear, but I’m leaning toward letting myself go about 10 days over without inducing as long as everything looks good. Now to make sure I have everything tied up at work in case she magically decides to come early :)
Anonymous says
Is it your first? If so, I’d wait it out as long as possible because first baby inductions *tend* to be longer/ “worse” than second baby. If you have no other health issues, of course.
Anecdata: I had all 3 of my babies before 35. I myself was 3 weeks late. My first came the morning of my scheduled induction at 41+5. My labor was hard (I got an epi) but fast. My second was induced at 41+6. I waited the full time. It was a super quick and relatively pain free labor-it’s like she just needed a little push. I did get an epidural but it didn’t have time to fully take. My third was going to induced at 41 weeks because I was Just.So.Done. And I had a great induction with my second. But she came the day before her due date and basically flew out.
Friends that have been electively induced with their first reported a much tougher. When it’s not your first, you can often skip all the cervical ripening and go right to the pitocin.
Anonymous says
Fwiw I was induced (not electively) with my first and my labor was under 8 hours, and most that was the cerivical ripening stuff. I was on a Pitocin drip for under an hour. And the baby was big, almost 9 lbs. I have several friends that were induced with first babies and had smooth labors and “v” deliveries. It’s true that it’s easier with a second+ but plenty of women have great inductions with a first and I think comments like yours are a bit fearmonger-y.
Anonymous says
+1 had a short labor when induced with my first. Shorter than with my second (also induced).
Anonymous says
My last comment went into mod… has the mod issues from the main page made its way over here?
Anonymous says
Yes. Grrrr
Anonymous says
But reply threading works on mobile now!!
Anon4this says
I’m 12 weeks pregnant and waiting on the results of my NIPT testing. It is driving me crazy, so instead I’m assuming it won’t have bad news and trying to figure out when to tell work (Biglaw senior associate). I work with a large number of partners/counsel (7 partners/counsel in my group plus about 5 other partners outside my group on matters that are currently active and there are 2 partners I am just close with and have been mentors to me) plus all the associates. I think some members of my group will have a less than favorable reaction. I was thinking I would raise it at team meetings for my active matters and my group meeting mostly for efficiency sake and to eliminate the need 1-1 conversations with a couple folks that I don’t think will go well. At the group meeting there will be people who will be supportive but also people that will be less than happy. I have a group meeting at 16 weeks (but I my 16 week appointment is the following Monday) and at 20 weeks (but my anatomy scan is the following Monday). I’m just starting to show (still mostly bloat but there is a small bump). Would you tell at 16 weeks or 20 weeks or another time?
Anonymous says
Just being blunt here – if you tell much past 12 weeks everyone will know already. I told work around 14 weeks and the reaction was “FINALLY! We were wondering when you would say something.” And I’m tall and gained weight slowly and didn’t have a very visible belly until 20+ weeks (not bragging, just saying I wasn’t obviously showing and people still figured it out). You can tell whenever you want, but I personally think there’s little point in waiting past 12 weeks because everyone knows anyway.
Anon4this says
Figured out because of doctors appointments? I haven’t had any morning sickness and I’ve traveled each week of the last month to hearings and depositions. I think the associates are probably wise to what is going on because they see me coming/going at odd times and I had a bunch of appointments between weeks 6 and 10, but I’d be surprised if the partners knew.
Anonymous says
Nope, just appearance. Even without a visible belly or much weight gain your face gets fuller and your b00bs get a lot bigger. I also had no morning sickness.
Anonymous says
It definitely shows in your face by 6-8 weeks even if you haven’t gained weight.
Anon says
I don’t think this is necessarily true. I told around weeks, and I was pregnant with twins, had terrible morning sickness and people were shocked and had absolutely no idea. And I work in an office with all women, many of whom already have kids
Pogo says
I don’t think that’s true at all for your first, or even your second! So much depends on body type and how you are carrying. I told around 14, I think, and no one had any idea. I’ve also recently had two friends/coworkers tell me around 12w for their second (where you usually show earlier!) and I had no idea.
anon says
I’d bump your 16 week appointment up before your group meeting and tell at that group meeting. It’s hard to hide past 16 weeks, but probably do able.
Anonymous says
I waited until almost 17 weeks to tell work and people where genuinely surprised. Like you, I am tall and it helped that for the first 8 weeks I was so nauseous that it was hard to eat and I actually lost weight the first 6 weeks or so. I was definitely getting a bit of a belly but strategic dressing helped (and my boobs basically didn’t grow at all until the third trimester). They were in the middle of a corporate re-org so I was motivated not to tell people because I wanted my former “bosses” job since I was basically doing the work anyways. I got the job and THEN told everyone. Also… I helps when you get pregnant before you wedding…. no one is expecting it.
Do people in your work not like kids? not like each other? I was actually positively surprised with how well everyone “took” the news. Even though it was super inconvenient they were genuinely happy about this exciting life event! (even pretty grouchy people).
Anyways – I am writing to suggest that you can wait until 16 weeks and people won’t know AND it might go better than you think. P.S. CONGRATULATIONS
Anon4this says
A couple partners I work with have said negative things to other women who were pregnant or when they returned to work that in essence were variations on (a) I don’t think you can do this job effectively with kids because it requires 100% of your life and leaves no room for anything else or (b) I don’t think working mothers have a place in the workplace. I think most people will be great, but I’m skeptical about a couple and they are, unfortunately, somewhat important to my continued success at my firm.
Anonymous says
Sorry to hear that. (From above poster who had better than expected experience.) I admit, one of the (several) reasons I left my previous job in investment banking was because of the attitude you describe. I know you will prove them wrong.
MNF says
I told at 14 weeks. There were a couple of women (all with children or currently trying) who said they could tell. My office sent an email listing it as an announcement on a Saturday and clearly not everyone read the email because one older male partner overheard some pregnancy chat last week and congratulated me (at 20 weeks, clear bump). If the people you’re worried about tend to be older male partners, I doubt they’ll notice.
Anonymous says
Don’t do it at a group meeting. It’s an individual issue deal with it individually.
Anonanonanon says
I kind of disagree. I told my boss one-on-one, but since I work in a male-dominated niche of my field I told everyone else in a group meeting in a very matter-of-fact “If all goes according to plan, will be taking 12 weeks of FMLA starting approximately at the end of February, so with that in mind (insert stuff about work timelines here)”. Not everyone immediately “got it”, but I felt like sharing it the same way someone would share any other medical absence was the way to go. I talked about it more with some people one-on-one who I knew would be happy/excited for me, but left the gushing out of the group meeting.
anon2 says
second this. I told all the main partners i work for (probably 3-4) on day 1, waited a day for the information to flow down, then told the rest of my team and associates. I’ve seen negative reactions when associates announce in a group setting their pregnancy. I think partners (like any boss) expects to be the first or one of the first to hear about the pregnancy.
Anonanonanon says
To clarify this is what I agree with. Definitely agree people UP the org chart should be told one-on-one, but sideways/down can be done in a group setting.
Anon4this says
Logistically, how do I do this though? I work with 12 partners/counsel on active matters (so all of them are technically up the food chain from me). Schedule time to meet with them all 1 on 1? That seems nuts. Most of the time they aren’t in the office / are travelling. I doubt I could catch them all on the same day if I tried.
Anon says
I agree. You should tell the partners individual. I think telling peers in a group setting is ok, but not bosses.
Anon says
this is for the comment at 4:15 pm but do you work with all 12 partners/counsel equally? I would choose to tell the ones you work most for first, if possible; or if that is not possible, a couple of partners that are more senior, etc. Or you go with the partners in your office. At a certain point, the information will start trickling around and even though you tell everyone individually, many will already know. I didn’t work for 12 partners when i was pregnant at a firm but i worked for 3-4 pretty heavily so told them first. Or, tell your practice group leader first and ask for advice on how to share the information with others. You just want to make sure you are setting up the disbursement of information in a clear manner that is signed-off on by the firm/practice group. This will be the first foray into many possibly awkward/difficult conversations about your pregnancy and post-pregnancy return so you want to make sure you handle it appropriately and start off on the right foot. Unfortunately it’s very different at a law firm than at a company but it kind of is what it is and you have to make sure you tread lightly still (no matter how unfair and annoying it seems).
CHL says
Does anyone else have trouble nibbling their kids or other food during the dinner hour? Everyone including me is tired, hungry and whiny between say 5 and 6 pm and I find myself picking at chicken nuggets from my kids’ plates, chips from the cabinet, or an adult beverage. These are not choices I enjoy, but I clearly feel it as a response to this stressful hour. This is manifesting itself as too-tight pants! Any tips to get through?
Anonymous says
Late afternoon healthy snack: keep peanut butter, hummus, yogurt, string cheese, nuts etc in your office.
Pogo says
This is such a good reminder. I am very guilty of this. Also, if I snack on anything more exciting than what toddler is getting for dinner, I have a mutiny on my hands.
Adding trail mix for my office to my grocery list!
EB0220 says
I am guilty of this too. I try to get a small but protein-rich snack on the way home (like 2 T of nuts). I also try to distract myself with low-calorie drinks like tea or sparkling water. Seems to help! Otherwise I am starving and thirsty and eat/drink everything. Kids too.
Anon says
We are getting our daughter’s big girl room ready in preparation for new baby arriving this spring. We got her a dresser that is 4 1/2 ft wide and a little less than 3 feet tall. Because it is extra wide, the space above looks very blank. What do you think – would you hang a mirror or art or something else? I was thinking mirror but that is just how our bedroom is setup so that may be why. Not sure what a good option would be; I probably wouldn’t want something too heavy. The dresser is white if that matters.
CCLA says
Maybe a lightweight canvas print – something easy to secure that also wouldn’t be a hazard if it were to fall. I wouldn’t want to bother with a mirror since those tend to be heavier.
KateMiddletown says
A pom Pom banner or bunting?
Emily S. says
Late reply, but I’m in the same boat. When we swapped dresser for changing table, I kept the hanging colored paper lantern display and stacked colorful baskets for socks, mittens, hair stuff, etc. on top. (White dresser on white wall, btw.) The lanterns hanging from the ceiling and the baskets coming up from the dresser give it enough visual height and depth to keep it from being boring, and bonus is that she can pull out her own socks in the morning.
AIMS says
Any tips for making my oldest like the baby better? I have a soon to be 3 year old and a 9 month old and while he loves her, she alternates between ignoring him and actively disliking him. I’ve mostly tried to leave this alone and give her space to have her feelings but I’m starting to feel hopeless about this situation improving, especially because we seem to be moving from more ignoring to more disliking. Does this get better? Anything I can do to help it? Anything I should avoid?
Anon says
A friend who is a child psychologist said this to me – from the perspective of your child, bringing a sibling into the family can be like if DH came home with another woman and said this person will now be part of our family and you are supposed to love her and care for her, etc. I would just continue to give it time. Do you have any books about being a big sister and why it can be great to be a big sister? Have you been able to spend any alone time with DD since he has been born? Making sure she still gets some of that one on one time with you might also help. I met someone yesterday who said that their 5 year old is just starting to like their 3 year old younger sibling, because now they can actually play a bit together.
Anonymous says
Wait a year? What’s a toddler want with some critter who can’t talk or walk and takes all the attention?
Anonymous says
Yeah this. He’s a boring little blob who occasionally cries and takes away her parents’ attention (in her mind). Give it time.
AIMS says
Haha, maybe my question should have been “just tell me it gets better eventually”? Right now I feel like I signed up for twenty or more years of “why do we have him?”
Anonymous says
It gets better eventually! My 5 year old has been getting along MUCH better with her 2.5 year old brother starting a few months ago. They actually play together now in a way that they both enjoy. I think it’s tied to being able to communicate with him (and boss him around).
Anonymous says
Thanks for posting this question! My 3.5 year old is, shall we say, not in love with our 3 month old and I also have had these worries, particularly because my younger brother and I are very close.
PregLawyer says
This makes me feel awful, but I don’t like some of the kids in my 3.5 year old’s daycare room, and as we enter into the age where we actually are scheduling play dates, I find myself avoiding scheduling play time with these kids. They are two boys, and they are the classic “difficult” personality–I don’t know what the official diagnosis is (if any), but they are physical with the other kids, don’t listen to the teacher, are loud and demanding, throw tantrums, etc. I know this is normal and is largely based on temperament, and I don’t blame the parents. I really don’t. But my son doesn’t want to play with them, and quite frankly, I don’t really want to use my precious limited weekend time to moderate someone else’s kid.
We’re starting to make friends with other parents in the room and I find myself kind of avoiding the parents of these two kids. Is this awful? How do you all handle this? I worry that I’m being unfair to both the “difficult” kids and their parents. But . . . I don’t want to deal with it. Ugh.
GCA says
No advice, but following. I have a similar situation – I like the parents of the ‘difficult’ kid in my son’s class (kid is not really difficult and I don’t blame him, just physical, has trouble expressing himself etc) and would love to spend more time with them, but my son doesn’t want to play with the kid. (They interact plenty at daycare; son comes home and reports that X hit him, sometimes corroborated by teachers.)
Do the kids ask to play with your son? What would happen if you met at a neutral space (so parents of all kids on the playdate are there) instead of them coming over? Sometimes that works…though if they don’t want to play with your son and vice versa, I’m not sure what you can really do.
Anonymous says
Are play dates common? Definitely don’t waste time on playdates with kids that your own kids are not nagging you constantly to play with.
My kids sometimes asked for playdates but I generally said no because they have 35-40 hours a week in daycare to play with those kids. Weekends are for family time.
I only caved on playdates in the summer before kindergarten for a few kids who I knew would be going to the same kindergarten as my kids.
Spirograph says
Right, I don’t think this is an issue unless you make it one. Between daycare and birthday parties, my kids see their school friends PLENTY. The only play dates I do are with friends my kids don’t see daily and they’ve asked about multiple times.
DLC says
FWIW,I think you can be friendly with the parents even when you don’t have plans to set up play dates with the kids. If your kid has no interest in play dates with their kids, there is no reason to set them up.
I actually became really good friends with another parent in my daughter’s class, even though I think her kid is horrid. The mom is pretty cool and we often have lunch dates. It also helped me see her kid in a more sympathetic light to hear her parenting struggles. We do sometimes get together with the kids, but I try to make it at a park, or some similar place with lots of space and options so the kids aren’t forced to play together.
SC says
My son is one of the “difficult” children–he’s aggressive toward other kids, he has a hard time expressing himself, he often doesn’t listen, and it’s hard for him to regulate his behavior. I would not feel offended if other parents did not schedule play-dates with my kid. First of all, I have no idea which parents are scheduling play dates with others. Second, everyone gets along better with certain people than others, and that’s true of adults and children. Even my difficult child does better with certain kids, and there are a few families (some from school, some not) with whom we have regular play dates where he does fine. Third, I understand my kid is difficult and am sensitive to the fact that it’s not other parents’ or other kids’ job to provide opportunities for him to practice or improve his social skills. (FWIW, we’re doing OT and play therapy for that.)
I’m not sure what you mean by avoiding the difficult kids’ parents. If you see them at drop-off/pick-up or in larger settings (birthday parties), just be friendly and normal. Unless these parents are aggressively trying to arrange play dates with everyone in the class, what is there to deal with?
Anonymous says
At 3.5 your son is old enough to know who he wants to play with. My son is the same age and we only do playdates with the kids he actually asks to play with and talks about playing with at school.
PregLawyer says
Thanks for all the feedback. I think you’re all right that there’s no need to force any play dates at all, let alone with kids that my son isn’t close with.
Re: avoiding parents – We had a couple of “back to school night”-esque events recently (which don’t make any sense anyway–they’re in daycare all year) where many of the parents were introducing each other and making tentative play date plans. I wasn’t actively making plans with any other families, but found myself making an effort to avoid being in a one-on-one situation with the difficult kids’ parents.
Also – I’m fully aware that I’m reading too much into all of this. In case you’re curious: Yes, I overthink things.
Anonymous says
As the parent of one of those “difficult” children, I wouldn’t be offended if you simply didn’t invite my child over for a one-on-one playdate, especially if your son isn’t interested in interacting anyhow. I would feel very differently if we’re talking about everyone else in the class except the difficult kids to a birthday party or some other activity.
GCA says
I’m back at work this week, and the 3-month-old is refusing a bottle. She was taking a bottle maybe once a week or once every other week for the first couple of months, but then I got sick and my son got sick and life got busy and things just fell apart…anyway, I had to go to daycare to nurse her at lunchtime today. We’re trying super warm milk, different positions, every type of teat in the house, you name it. Any advice? Or just tell me: how long did your tiny bottle refuser take to get over it and eat?
Amy says
This has worked for several people I know — have them feed the kid the bottle while the baby is in a bouncy chair/swing not being held. Who knows why it works but it seems to.
Pogo says
ughhh so sorry! Mine would not 100% refuse, but only take like, an oz at a time. So there were a couple days when he only took 2oz from my husband the whole day. It lasted less than a week, for sure – maybe 3 days before it started getting better?
Have you tried the next size up n*pple? At around 4 months mine was ready for size 2. He got annoyed at the size 1 and totally refused the bottle.
3mos might be early for this, but letting my guy hold his own bottle helped (apparently, according to DH). I’m not sure what daycare did to get him taking it, because daycare lady is so nonplussed by everything and confident I don’t even recall her complaining. She would just let me know I still had like, 16oz of extra milk and not to send any more the next day. I kept pumping and froze during his early days of low daycare intake. It all got used up once he was on Team Bottle!
Moms solo says
This is what worked for us. I had a fast flow and my 7-week-old refused bottles at daycare until we started using a fast flow. Never had any problems transitioning between bottle and mom either, if that’s a concern.
GCA says
Thanks! I’ll probably have to get the next size up in n*pples – I do have a strong letdown, so maybe she’s used to that. Luckily I know the teachers in her infant room are experienced – in fact my son had one of them when he was in the same room 3 years ago! – so I have every hope that they’ll help her figure it out.
AwayEmily says
I wrote almost this exact comment six months ago and got lots of great advice. I flew across the country when he was four months old. For the week before, we kept trying to give him a bottle and he consistently refused. I finally decided to go anyway, and left my husband with four different types of bottles, several varieties of nipples, and many many apologies. Apparently the first day was rough but then he gave in and was totally fine with bottles within 48 hours of me leaving.
He did seem to prefer the faster flow ones (I have a pretty strong letdown so maybe that contributed). and even though I ordered stupidly expensive “just like the breast” bottles from amazon the one he finally settled on was a MAM from the Rite Aid down the street. So, you never know.
Another thing that made me feel better: I called the pediatrician and they were Very Not Worried. Basically they told me that babies always figure it out, and if I was really worried then I could bring him in and they would help. Having both (1) their nonchalance and (2) a “what-if” scenario was very reassuring.
GCA says
Ha. I’m glad even the peds agree they always figure it out when necessary! That makes me feel better. I’m just thankful that my second, not my first, is the bottle refuser; and that she’s a sweet chunk who is in the ~75th percentile for weight and in no danger (to my anxious mom mind) of starving to death anytime soon.
Mama Llama says
Pumping Veterans: I’m looking to get some reusable wet/dry bags to transport my pump parts to work and hold them in the fridge during the day. I’m currently using ziplock bags, but I hate wasting so much plastic. My only concern is cleanliness. If you have used wet/dry bags, how do you wash them? How many do you have in rotation? Can you recommend any specific bag?
AIMS says
SkipHop has good ones. Just throw it in the wash and air dry (that last step may not be necessary but it dries super quick so why not?)
Pogo says
I used the Bumkins wet bag (not sure which size – definitely not the smallest) based on a recommendation here. I kept it in the fridge w/ pump parts during the day. Immediately upon getting home, I took the parts out, rinsed them, and rinsed the inside of the bag as well. I let the bag dry inside out. I had two bags and rotated so each got a day to air out in between. I washed them both once a week. No mold, no sour milk smell, nothing. It worked very well.
Anonymous says
How about the Medela microwave sterilizer bags? Store in the bag, then sterilize in the same bag and the bag is clean for reuse.
Pogo says
that bag does have a hole, though, for the steam to escape. So it’s not great for transport (as opposed to a Ziploc or wet bag that seals).
Anonymous says
I think I just washed and reused a ziploc – filled it with hot water and dish soap and swished it around, then rinsed and air dryed it inside out. Half the time I probably just rinsed it.
I now use Bumpkins snack bags for my son, and they go in the dishwasher, so if they have one large enough that might work. (Can you put ziplocs in the dishwasher?)
Mama Llama says
Thanks! I ordered 5 Bumkins bags. I figure if I don’t need that many, the extras can go in the diaper bag for transporting dirty diapers and clothes.
By the way, thank you also to everyone who recommended getting a Spectra pump instead of a second PISA last week. While there was a learning curve figuring out how to put everything together, it truly is much gentler and quieter.
Anon says
I use the skiphop ones. I got 6 or so I think that I used for pumping, each as a single use of clean parts there and dirty parts home (and a few more for diaper bags, car kits, etc. – I find them super useful for blowout messes, vomit covered clothes, wet swimsuits, etc). I washed them every week or two with the regular baby’s laundry and then dried them on low (and then usually propped them open to air dry because inevitably 2 or 3 of them would not dry all the way). They haven’t held up great (holes in the plastic liner, etc.). No longer pumping, but I think munchkin makes one that is washable and a single layer, which I suspect would reduce the wear and tear and likely hold up better, so that is what I will try when the skiphop ones finally bite the dust.
SciLady says
Question spurred by Mama Llama. I’m a first-time mom who’s 7 weeks postpartum and starting to think about pumping on my return to work. I have the Spectra pump, but have some questions:
– How many replacement parts for the pump do you have? (A full set, 2 or 3?). Did you get them from Spectra or from a 3rd party?
– Do you pump into the Spectra bottles or another bottle?
– Any other pumping tips would be most appreciated!
Thanks
Anon says
I am in BigLaw and just threw money at the problem, so YMMV. I had 6 full sets of pumping parts (3 for each day). I had started with 3 sets but after a month or two doubled it. No washing, no cold flanges from refrigerating, etc. And, if I forgot to run the dishwasher one night, I had a second day’s set ready to go, which took a lot of pressure off. I ordered mine from Spectra, but back then Target didn’t carry them. Now I think Target does (at least online), so I would probably go through there. I pumped into the spectra bottles and then transferred to the medela bottles or bags as applicable I had at home from before I got the spectra. DH would warm in the medela bottles in warm water and then transfer to the dr. brown’s for feeding. Other tips: get a hand’s free pumping bra (I want to say mine was from simple wishes), keep a medela hand pump and bottle in the car (doing this guarantees you will never forget your pump or parts and will be covered if you do) assuming you drive to work, and get a couple of wrap or shirt dresses so that you don’t have to wear separates all the time. I had a medela PISA I kept at home and left the spectra at work, which was very helpful, and I used wet-dry bags to transport parts (and kept a boon drying lawn on my desk for the days where the parts went into the bag wet).
Katarina says
I got a bunch of spare parts, maybe three or four spare sets. I kept buying more until I was running the dishwasher often enough that I always had a clean and dry set. I kept a few bottles and miscellaneous pump parts at work. I bought third party sets (essentially non-name brand medela parts with adapter, from Amazon) and pumped into regular sized bottles (I had ameda from my first baby). I used Dr. Brown’s nipples for the regular size bottles, I don’t remember what I used with the spectra bottles. I pumped into the spectra bottles when I used the original set of parts. I also bought some bigger bottles. I used the same bottles for pumping and feeding.
Emily S. says
I bought the Spectra to replace a PISA with my second baby. I bought 2 sets of spare parts, but only ended up using one. I kept one full set at home and one at the office, and a spare set of valves and tubing in my pumping bag. I never ended up needing the spare valves and tubing. I bought Spectra brand from Amazon because it was my first time using the pump and I was worried about second-market quality. I pumped into both the Spectra bottles that came with the pump and my old Avent natural bottles (wide mouth, so they fit the Spectra horns (I am totally blanking on the actual name for that part.) The most helpful pumping tips I gleaned from this site and shared experience in the mom’s room: make a schedule and stick to it or you might find you haven’t pumped all day, bring a heating pad and sweater in case the mom’s room is cold, and invest in a portable drying rack to leave your stuff at work overnight. Oh, and gripe/cry with other pumping moms often. Good luck!
Anonymous says
This may be too late in the day, but does anyone have suggestions for toddler snacks that they can feed themselves out of a snack cup? We usually default to goldfish or cheerios with maybe a handful of raisins, but I’d love to branch out. We do a lot of stroller snacking during long weekend walls when the weather is nice.
PregLawyer says
Our go-to snacks for stroller walks were mandarin oranges/cuties!
Anonymous says
Cut up fruit or tomatoes?
Jeffiner says
My daughter’s favorites are Baby Bell cheese and pepperoni slices. She also learned how to eat a whole apple, which are easy to grab and go.
Anonymous says
OMG we are team whole apple as well. Started at 18 mo when we needed to occupy kid on a long (for him) hike, since they take a long time to eat, but it’s our go-to snack 90% of the time. Even at 3.5 doesn’t always eat the entire apple though. Otherwise we mostly do string cheese or mandarin oranges, neither of which works in a snack cup probably, so I’m not very good at answering this question!.
Em says
We have put blueberries in those cups before.
Emily S. says
+1 to mandarin oranges and blueberries! Also, grapes cut in half, Pirate’s Booty, baby carrots, animal crackers, and fruit leather (not to be confused with the Fruit Roll-Ups we grew up with of course, because these are real fruit and not nearly as fun to eat.)
Anonymous says
Cherry tomatoes or baby carrots