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(L-all)
Sales of note for 9.10.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 30% off your purchase
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- The concept of “backup care” is so stupid…
- I need tips on managing employees in BigLaw who have to leave for daycare pickup…
- I’m thinking of leaning out to spend more time with my family – how can I find the perfect job for that?
- I’m now a SAHM and my husband needs to step up…
- How can I change my thinking to better recognize some of my husband’s contributions as important, like organizing the shed?
- What are your tips to having a good weekend with kids, especially with little kids? Do you have a set routine or plan?
JayJay says
Y’all. My husband had to burn PTO before the end of this year, so he’s staying home all week. He’s been running errands (grocery store, Costco, Target, etc), picking up the kids from daycare every day, and being at home for all the contractors/repair guys that we scheduled this week. And it has been AMAZING because I’ve been able to focus on my job during a very crazy week.
Is this what men with SAHW felt like all those years? It’s going to be hard to go back to normal (and my husband traveling 75% of the time) in January.
Artemis says
Hilarious and so true. Whenever my mom comes to visit, she stays with us and picks up the kids, cooks dinner, does the laundry, runs errands during the day–and every day of her visit, when I walk into the house after work and the kids are playing happily, dinner is almost ready, the house is clean, and there is nothing on my immediate to-do list, I laugh and say to her “is this what it’s like to have a wife?” HA!
Anonymous says
This is why things are easier for men with SAHW.
If your DH is travelling that much, I’d just you that you build in a PTO reset twice a year or even every quarter. If he was able to take a day or two off every 3 months to do this, it would be a great support to you.
JayJay says
To be fair to him, he does do this every quarter or so. He’ll take off a Friday that he’s home and run errands or do all the bigger household stuff we never get around to. I’ve just never had him home all week before. It’s glorious.
avocado says
My husband also has PTO to burn and is literally at home baking cookies.
I am in the office because I am always the one who has to take PTO to deal with kid and home stuff, so I am out of PTO.
Artemis says
See, but this irks me a little bit. If he has so much PTO to burn at the end of the year, why can’t he take one or two more days to handle kid stuff during the year so you have PTO left and you can BOTH be home baking cookies?!?!?!?
I know, I KNOW, easier said than done. My husband has amazing PTO for the first time ever this coming year at a new job and it is for sure going to take some adjustment for both of us to realize that he can handle some of the stuff throughout the year now too.
avocado says
Yup, drives me crazy. The usual reason he can’t take PTO is that “I have meetings.” But sometimes it’s just “I can’t leave early.” Ugh.
Kelly C. says
I’m watching Westworld right now and I’ve decided that I need a stay at home robot person, please. We all do!
Katala says
Yes! DH and I always say we need “third spouse” to handle all the household stuff so we can focus on work and the fun/less mundane parts of parenting. But a robot would be perfect! He/she would forget the next morning if one of us was snippy or annoying or absent the night before. Awesome.
Artemis says
Thanks to everyone who responded to me yesterday with good advice, encouragement, and food for thought. Honestly I feel so much better today just having posted to get it out of my system and get supportive responses.
And to the other poster from yesterday who needs to be “supermom” and “superwife”–I wish you the best. I hope your crisis abates. I hope you find the support you need. You deserve it. You are strong enough to make it through, but you shouldn’t have to make it through alone.
anon from yesterday says
Thanks, and good luck to you too. It is so wonderful to have an anonymous place where we can discuss these issues.
lsw says
Help – our 5.5 month old has suddenly started fighting naps during the day, and he is MISERABLE as a result. He is still sleeping fine/normally at night. The four month sleep regression meant a few weeks of waking up every 1-2 hours at night, but he’s been past that for a few weeks now. Right now he’ll be rubbing his eyes, acting suuuuuper tired, but he just won’t sleep. I’ve really seen it this week since I had to be home with him two mornings this week due to child care issues. We’ve noticed on the weekends, too, he’s doing this catnap thing and not taking longer naps. But this week he has barely been sleeping at all and it means he basically fusses and is angry until bedtime. Normal? Not normal? He doesn’t seem sick…maybe teething but we haven’t seen any changes. He’s always drooled a lot and has been sticking things in his mouth for a while. No fever.
BKDC says
I have a baby the same exact age and going through the same thing. He has been in good spirits, so I’m not worried. This is also baby #2 for me. I’d say that this is normal. He’s starting to become aware of the world. I say that this is normal baby FOMO.
POSITA says
Could be teething.
We usually try to force better naps with a car ride or stroller walk when the baby just won’t nap. She always conks out hard with steady motion.
Marilla says
When this happened I just switched it up for a few days until things went back to normal. Naps in the swing or long walks in the stroller (I was home for a year – Canadian mat leave – so I was able to do these things). I found about 5.5 – 6.5 months was when sleep fell apart for us and I had to change my approach from small baby to older baby – had to do some gentle sleep training and more structured bedtime and naps. It may just be a transition point.
Anonymous says
Is he on three naps or two naps? He might be ready for two naps.
You can try advil in case it’s teething pain. I second Marilla that around 6 months is a transition time. They are so much more aware and alert about their world that they have a hard time settling for naps.
Anon in NYC says
This sounds normal and perhaps like you might have to do a bit of nap sleep training. Two ideas. Could he be ready to drop a nap? In the very beginning (newborn stage) my daughter was taking 4 naps a day, but I can’t quite remember when she dropped to 3 naps. She stayed at 3 naps for a few months, but dropped down to 2 maybe at around 6 or 7 months.
Also, this chart was really helpful to me when figuring out sleep issues. It was very helpful for me to think, “oh, it’s been about 2 hours since her last nap. Let me try to put her down.” I’d go through the whole nap routine and then put her in her crib and give her 15-20 minutes. More often than not, she feel asleep.
Marilla says
+1 to thinking about wake periods. I noticed it was often easier for my daughter to fall asleep if I was more vigilant about putting her down before she was overtired. At that age we were definitely still at 3-4 naps per day, pretty much every 2 hours.
Anon in NYC says
Sorry, just realized I hadn’t included the link to the chart (https://www.preciouslittlesleep.com/baby-sleep-what-is-normal/).
AnonMN says
Have you had him checked for an ear infection? My second son gets them and his only symptom is unusual crankiness and lack of sleep. My first son never had them, so we always chalk the crankiness and lack of sleep up to him being a baby/teething/growth sput, then low and behold, it is always an ear infection. I would have him checked, especially if he’s had a cold recently.
Kelly C. says
Sounds normal to me. The WonderWeeks app tracked my daughter’s phases like this almost to the day. It helped to look at the app and say “yup, about 4 more days until this terrible sleep phase ends.” Not sure if you would find that helpful, and I’m sure the timing on the app doesn’t always perfectly align with each kid (although it did for us).
lsw says
Thanks, everyone! I’m home from tomorrow until January 3 so I’m hoping I can figure this out a little better and equip our caretakers so he’s not just a screaming mess from when we get home from work until bedtime. Eeeeee.
Anon in NYC says
Hair question. My daughter has very fine and straight hair, except for this one section on the back of her head where the texture is really coarse and sticks out and defies brushing. Any suggestions for how to smooth out the coarse section? We wash her hair 3x a week (and have started using conditioner), and have started brushing her hair daily (to which she says “noooooo” and “all done”).
Anonymous says
How old is she and how long is her hair?
I put my daughter’s hair in a loose braid every night and it cuts the tangles significantly. Her hair is waist length. She’s five and I wash and dry her hair once a week. I use a small bit of conditioner and comb through with my fingers after it’s been in the hair for a minute.
Anon in NYC says
Ah. I wish she had long hair! She’s 19 months and is just starting to not look bald anymore.
avocado says
The “Wet Brush,” available at Target, cannot be beat for relatively painless detangling. Spray detangler can also help, although it can make the hair greasy.
anne-on says
Can you use a comb to get the tangles out and then a brush for the rest? Is it possible to do the combing/brushing in front of a screen if it helps? I had very curly hair as a child and it was the only way I’d sit still for my mom to do my hair – TV.
I would have also loved spray detangler, that was not so much a thing as a kid, and my mom didn’t realize that because her fine, straight hair didn’t need conditioner that my thick curly hair did. Sigh.
Sarabeth says
We have the exact same issue – in our case, it’s because that hair rubs against carseats, strollers, etc and gets split ends. We use the wet brush, and also “Fairy Tales” detangler. We only wash her hair once a week, but we use the detangler every other day on dry hair. Works amazingly well.
Anon in NYC says
Thanks, all! I will get this wet brush and a detangler. I hadn’t even thought to use one.
Kelly C. says
For more context, I have super fine hair and a very sensitive scalp and I still remember how much it really, really hurt me when my mom would brush my hair. So please don’t assume that your daughter is being dramatic if she acts like she is in pain. I highly recommend a detangler. If you are working on a particularly bad snarl, you can also grab the hair at the root and hold it in place while you comb that piece, and that can help reduce the pain because you won’t be pulling directly on her scalp.
NewMomAnon says
Second the strategy on snarl-combing. For really bad snarls (ahem, the ones caked in peanut butter and snot), I will sometimes just cut them out instead of combing them out.
My kiddo had very dark hair as a baby, which grew out into fine, light blond hair except for one long strand that grew out still very dark and a wiry texture. I kind of love playing with it, but it gets some really intense snarls so I tend to just cut it close to her scalp (the rest of her hair is shoulder length). Nobody notices except me.
Christmastime for the Jews says
(Name too edgy? Taken from SNL skit.)
As people of the Hebrew faith, we have decided to take the long weekend to toilet-train our daughter, who is a little over two. She is horrible during diaper changes, and she is exhibiting enough signs that we think she is ready. If she is not a quick learner, we will take a pause and let daycare handle it in six months when she moves up to the next class. We’ve (=I’ve) read Oh Crap!, and we’re planning to use more or less than approach for awake times (and still diaper during naps and overnight), plus a star chart. Any tips or things to beware of? I am getting surprisingly anxious about this endeavor.
AnonMN says
No tips, but commiseration, as we are doing the same for our 3 year old son next week (we have the whole week off). I’m surprisingly nervous about it, so curious to read the tips!
May the potty odds be ever in our favor . . .
Christmastime for the Jews says
Good luck! Are you rolling up your rugs? We are leaning toward no — too much of a pain; they have a coating of spit-up and pee on them already; we are planning to replace them once our kids are a little older, so why bother protecting them now….
AnonMN says
I’ve largely decided no as well, atleast not the ones that are large and hard to move. I think I’ll just cover the heavily played on ones with some thicker blankets as a little bit of a pee buffer.
TK says
Little TK loves his grandpa more than life itself. We convinced him that grandpa is very invested in the outcome of this endeavor and that it would make Grandpa SO HAPPY if little TK started using the potty. So whenever he is able to successfully make it to the potty, he gets to call Grandpa and tell him about it.
Grandpa gets a big kick out of it.
Pogo says
That’s adorable.
pockets says
Be prepared for it to take a lot longer than you think it should take. It was a solid week before my 2 year old “got” it, and at least 4 months before she could be relied upon to tell us she had to pee and not just stand there peeing. The idea of it taking a weekend is nice, but it doesn’t work for every kid (and probably not most 2 year olds).
anne-on says
For anyone stocking up on kids wear, Boden is having a sale, with an extra 10% off kids items, the code is 5X7J. I love their ski pants and jackets, comparable quality to LLBean in my experience, but about 20-30% cheaper.
EP-er says
Thank you! I just picked up more of the Roald Dahl collection that I loved but couldn’t justify spending so much on…. although there were a couple of pieces I did pay full price for. I would have totally gotten the purple velvet Wonka jacket, but it was sold out in my son’s size almost immediately…..
Boston Legal Eagle says
Another nap question. At what age did your babies transition to 1 nap per day? Our daycare has two infant rooms, one for non-movers and one for movers. My 8 month old may be moved to the older room soon, where they say there’s typically 1 longer (2-3 hr) nap per day instead of the 2 that he does now. They’re ok with still doing 2 if we insist the babies need it. I’m guessing 8-9 months is too soon to transition to 1 nap but I’m wondering if the longer length of 1 nap would make up for it? He typically does 2 long naps on the weekends now, with about 3 hours of awake time in between each sleep session. He’s in the 90th percentile for height/weight if it matters.
AnonMN says
I think this can be kid dependent. My first son was no where near ready to transition to 1 nap at that age, and kept his two naps until 14-15 months. I think outside of daycare requiring the transition, 13-16 months is supposed to be “average”. So your inclination that this is too soon is probably right.
My second son, however, is a terrible daycare napper (20-60 minutes total per day) so at 10 months I am looking forward to the 12 month classroom transition where they can attempt one nap with everyone. I am hoping that the darker/quieter environment will help.
Anonymous says
I have three kids and the transition to one nap has always been around a year. One was ready at 11 months and the other two at 14 months.
Spirograph says
Our daycare has the same breakdown for non-movers / movers, with only 1 naptime for the older babies. My daughter is also a big girl, and graduated to the mobile room when she was almost 10 months. For the first month or so, sometimes – mostly depending on how she’d slept the previous night – she would stay and rest a little while the other kids played outside in the morning, and we’d still let her have 2 naps on the weekend if she seemed tired. But the afternoon nap was indeed much longer (about 2.5 hours) and she was fine dropping the morning nap for good by her birthday.
Just a warning/reassurance: I found that daycare transition to be pretty rough. It was the first one, my daughter (and all the babies who moved up with her) really missed her previous teachers, and the nap schedule change… it was a lot at once, and we had a lot of clinging and tears at dropoff at first. But after a few weeks everything smoothed out and she really thrived in that class.
Anon says
17 months,and only because he was about to start a new daycare with only one nap available. Went cold turkey capitalizing on jet lag from a cross country move and it was basically fine. I would’ve loved to wait another month.
Katala says
Similar – 18 months when we switched from nanny to daycare (he’s the youngest, room is 18-36 months). He was struggling with afternoon nap for a month or two before that but was so. tired. if we kept him up until noon for one nap. He seems to be fine with it for daycare. We haven’t had a good test on the weekend yet because he’s had colds (see: starting daycare in November) but I think he’ll be good with one nap now.
At 8 months, he still took 3 naps most of the time. He’s 98th percentile weight, off the charts height so not sure size makes that much difference past the tiny baby phase.
Anon from above says
Yes, ours had 3 naps until 10 mo and is likewise off the charts size wise. On the plus side once he started taking just 1 nap at 17 mo, he went up to 12 hours at night from 10.5.
EB0220 says
I’m surprised by this – our daycares have always switched to one nap in the 1 year old room, and even then I wasn’t sure my kids were ready.
Marilla says
13 months and still at 2 naps. The daycare does a scheduled nap for all kids in the afternoon but they accommodate her morning nap no problem. I’m guessing she’s not the only baby with a morning nap since her class is 6-18 mos.
HSAL says
14 months and in the process of transitioning to one nap. Her class is 12-18 months and they have quiet/nap time for an hour in the morning and a two hour block in the afternoon. They don’t go to one nap until the 18-24 month class. For the last month or so she has generally not fallen asleep in the morning slot, but still takes a morning nap on the weekends. 8-9 months seems very young for one nap. Our mobile infant class did a little work on nap schedules, but generally still went with the kids’ particular needs.
farrley says
Our son transitioned right around one year, but I heard that is a bit young–most kids aren’t ready then. But he sleeps regularly til about 8 or 8:30 am so getting rid of the morning nap was less of an issue.
Original anon says
My kiddo moved to 1 nap at 14.5 months. I often hear of daycares pushing to one nap too early, and a lot of kids really struggle. According to my sleep consultant, most kids are ready to switch between 14-18 months.
BTanon says
I never comment on the actual featured item, but I want to say that I got these boots a few weeks ago and LOVE them. The Petty and a bunch of other popular ankle boots really didn’t work for me, and these finally hit the mark as being sufficiently comfortable and durable to wear during my commute, and professional enough to wear in the office.
Anonymous says
So jealous! I love them but I’m in Canada and the exchange rate is killing me. Just tried to find them but they are a Nordstrom exclusive :(
NewMomAnon says
Ugh, woman in the health care system vent. I have been complaining of a very uncomfortable health condition for 4 years. I have seen 4 different doctors (3 in the same practice). I have been in to this practice’s office 5 times since April of this year. The last doctor I saw “diagnosed” me with stress and suggested I take a vacation. The one before that suggested I wasn’t adhering closely enough to a treatment program a different doctor had prescribed, which that doctor described at the time as “probably not very helpful” (which was accurate).
Well….the latest doctor listened, did a thorough inspection, and determined that it’s a chronic condition that usually doesn’t cause permanent damage, but has been going on so long that it has caused permanent damage in my case. It has nothing to do with stress, or adherence to the “not very helpful” treatment program. It would have been easy to treat early on, and would have saved me several days of awful pain over the last couple years. Now I’m going to live with low-level pain for the rest of my life, and at least a year of aggressive, often irritating treatments and frequent doctor’s visits. I will always be at a higher risk of infection because of the permanent damage.
I’m so ticked. 2016 can go to h*ll.
avocado says
That stinks and is the kind of story that makes me want to go into med mal practice. So glad you finally found a doctor who will actually help you, though!
And FOOEY on 2016.
HSAL says
That’s terrible. I’m so, so sorry.
NewMomAnon says
It’s just….there is so much research about doctors misdiagnosing issues as “hysterical woman” syndrome. WHY DOES IT STILL HAPPEN?!!! And how many women wouldn’t go back to the doctor 5 times in 7 months because they can’t afford the time off work or the co-pays (5 visits and all the unhelpful “treatments” cost me close to $400 in co-pays, as well as probably 5-7 hours out of work, which…is sad).
I wish there was a nonthreatening way that I could send a letter to the practice and point this out – I don’t have any desire to make a med mal claim, but I do really want to help their other female patients who may not be in a position to advocate as strongly as I’ve done.
anon says
Why worry about being nonthreatening?
TBK says
Seriously. Why on earth would being “nonthreatening” matter? There’s nothing wrong with being angry. So maybe they’re worried you might sue? Maybe that will give them a kick to take this seriously.
Spirograph says
I think you could send that letter, and I’d encourage you to do it. Praise the doctor who finally listened and gave you a good diagnosis, but give equal time to the indignation that it took so long to get to that point and your hope that this is not the norm. If I were a healthcare administrator/practice manager and got that letter, I would circulate it to the doctors. And if I were a doctor who was one of the offenders, I’d probably be shamed into trying to do better.
I’m sorry this happened to you. What an unnecessary, frustrating experience.
Katala says
Ugh, I’m so sorry this happened to you. My mom lived with chronic pain for almost 10 years and was told it was just “in her head” or she was exaggerating. Turns out she had a fracture in her spine that due to size/location wasn’t visible until technology improved and they could see it on a CAT scan. She was always so pissed because no man would be told it was all in his head.
NewMomAnon says
Wouldn’t it be more likely to cause defensive behavior if I sent a really angry, in-your-face letter? If what I want is to change their behavior, isn’t a careful, nonthreatening letter better?
Because, yeah, I would love to have the credentials of the earlier doctors torn to shreds and burned in a giant bonfire of hell. But what I really want is for them to care for their patients with all the skill and empathy they have.
anon says
That’s terrible. Would it make you feel better to write an angry letter to one or more past doctors explaining what happened? I wouldn’t be in any rush to actually take legal action but it seems like educating them on what they did might actually make you feel better and potentially even wake them up to their incompetence. (Probably naive but it won’t hurt, right?)
CPA Lady says
Three more hours. Then I can leave work for the next 11 days. And tomorrow is going to be my only actual day of vacation (i.e. a day when work is closed and daycare is open). I was thinking of getting All Joy and No Fun on my kindle to read while I’m out. Is it a depressing book? I can’t tell from the amazon reviews.
Jilly says
To me it wasn’t depressing, except that there is a vignexxe toward the end that is very sad and weepy, but I’m not sure I learned anything from it. Maybe my lifestyle is just too different from the parents she discusses? Glad I read it since it gets referenced so much, but I wouldn’t necessarily buy it for someone else as a gift, if you know what I mean.
Spirograph says
I really enjoyed it. If you’re anything like me, you’ll just be reading in black and white what you’ve intuitively felt for however long you’ve had kids. But I reacted more like, “yes, I KNEW it. I am so normal!” than “how depressing that this sucks for everyone.” The last chapter will probably make you cry, but in a sentimental good way.
Marilla says
Yes – I loved it. The last chapter definitely made me weepy, but that’s because I just lost my mom to cancer after caregiving for her (at home) at the end of her life during the first year of my daughter’s life. So the whole thing really hit home.
Closet Redux says
Can anyone point me to non-extremist (in either direction) information about alcohol consumption and breastfeeding? I have lots of information floating around in my head but can’t recall the sources and would like to refresh my memory.
Jilly says
Check out “Expecting Better.” Looks at studies on various prenatal / pregnancy risks. I think it is worth owning the book, but if you just have this one narrow question, you can thumb through it at the bookstore or library. What I took away was that if you aren’t drinking enough to get drunk (which depends tolerance level, on quantity and speed of imbibing, and fullness of stomach), you aren’t drinking enough to pass any impactful quantity on to the fetus. I was pretty comfortable having sips of other people’s drinks, or half a beer, or a small glass of wine, throughout both of my pregnancies.
Closet Redux says
I read it! Such a good book. If I recall correctly, though, it’s about pregnancy. I’m looking for info on breastfeeding (i.e. baby’s on the outside!). But something like this is exactly what I’m looking for– research based findings.
EB0220 says
I really hope Emily Oster will write a series of books – about research-based parenting!
Anonymous says
My pediatrician said one drink, then wait 2 hours, then you can nurse. 2 drinks, 4 hours. But your ped should know!
Anonymous says
If you can drive you can nurse. That’s basically what it boils down to for older babies. For smaller babies, it’s hard to drink much because you need to leave about 2-3 hours after a drink but they nurse all the time so you basically have to drink immediately on finishing one feed so you can nurse at the next feed. http://www.lalecheleague.org/faq/alcohol.html
Anonymous says
link includes research studies that should be a jumping off point for further research (if you think it’s needed)
Katala says
Kellymom or La Leche League (I think) says basically if you can take care of yourself, you can still nurse. One drink won’t end up at a high enough concentration (for most people) to affect babe. Not sure that’s research based though.
NewMomAnon says
Kiddo’s pediatrician once told me that a glass of dark beer encourages milk production, so I should feel free to have a couple glasses each day. She was only partly joking.
Anonymous says
I don’t remember where I heard it (probably here), but my favorite advice is, “if you’re sober enough to find your baby, you’re sober enough to feed him.” I don’t think that’s medically sound, though.
I’m fortunate that I have zero milk supply issues, so I err on the side of pump-and-dump if I feel impaired (which only takes about 2 drinks after abstaining during pregnancy). But if I just wanted to have a glass of wine with dinner or to relax after the older kids go to sleep, I don’t factor that into my nursing schedule at all. No citations, but that seems in line with everything I’ve ever read, and works fine for me.
lsw says
same.
CPA Lady says
Slate says pumping and dumping is silly.
http://www.slate.com/articles/double_x/the_kids/2014/12/breast_feeding_and_alcohol_it_s_fine_to_drink_while_nursing.html
anon for this says
I feel like such a Grinch. I just want to cancel all of our Christmas plans and stay home. Instead, we’re going all over town to see various family members for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, then having some family over Christmas night. I’ve done most of the work–just need to clean a little bit and buy stuff for sides for Christmas dinner–but I’m so exhausted from doing it all that I just want to cozy up on the couch for Christmas.
Years ago, DH and I got stuck in a blizzard the day after Christmas and spent 2 glorious days curled up on the couch with nothing to do and lots of yummy leftovers. They may have been 2 of the best days of my life.
NewMomAnon says
So…. visiting family on the holidays became infinitely easier when I realized that I had the following excuses for “stepping out”: (1) “kiddo” needed a nap and I needed to lay down with her and (2) work! urgent work! (but really me playing Candy Crush on my phone for half an hour and leisurely responding to 2 work e-mails for 10 minutes while sitting somewhere quiet and out of the way). I encourage liberal use of both strategies.
Also consider taking two cars because you’ll have to leave the last house a little early (while husband stays with the kids, of course) so you can get home and “tidy up” before guests arrive for dinner. Which means get home, sink into the couch with your favorite beverage, and watch some Netflix.
If mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.
LSC says
I’m just not doing this stuff any more. Maybe the universe will smite me for my insolence, but I am putting my happiness and the happiness of my immediately family first from now on.
That being said, we have two semi-unbearable families, so it doesn’t feel like we are missing out on too much. I just can’t be bothered to care what they think any more. I’M FREE!!!!
anon says
I’m right there with you. I don’t have to host, but then I also have to spend close to $2K that we really don’t have right now to get us to see my father in law in a place that you otherwise couldn’t pay me to visit. He’s not really able (definitely not willing) to travel anymore, and has no local family, so its not really negotiable, but I hate how all our vacation time and vacation money gets used up on trips of highly dubious “fun” value. We’re also doing a separate 6 hr each way driving trip to see my family, but that should hopefully be slightly more fun and less expensive. As usual I will need a vacation from my vacation when we return. (And of course I am lucky to have living family to visit and am generally an ungrateful wretch.)
Anon for this says
I don’t think you are “an ungrateful wretch.” Neither my husband or I have any living parents or siblings to visit. We’re both only children, he isn’t sure where his parents are or if they are alive because he fled his seriously dangerous home country, and my parents died when I was a teenager. It’s just us and our kids. I of course wish that our parents could be a part of our lives, but at the same time it is nice to have time to spend with our family.
anon says
That is sweet of you. I am actually looking forward to seeing my parents and siblings; I just anticipate the experience loosing its luster quickly. I hope you enjoy your holidays!