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In the Before Times, we owned a very old and heavy canister-style vacuum that my husband dutifully dragged around the house once a month. Several months ago, it finally broke and we were in the market for a new vacuum.
We did some research, taking into account things like performance, ease of use, and price. I especially wanted something light and cordless so we could also use it in the car to clean up all those stray Cheerios.
We ultimately landed on Dyson’s V8 Absolute. We have a mix of hardwood and carpeted floors, and the V8 Absolute came with specialized heads for both. It also came with several handy attachments for reaching into nooks and crannies, “hygienic bin emptying” (which means you can empty it without touching what comes out), and enough battery life for me to vacuum our whole townhouse in one charge.
It is a bit different from traditional vacuums: It’s top- rather than bottom-heavy, doesn’t stand on its own (you have to lay it down), and takes a little hand strength to use since you have to pull a trigger to vacuum.
All in all, it’s easy to use and does a fabulous job cleaning — I use it almost daily.
The vacuum is $449.99 and includes a free tool. A similar model (without the hardwood-specific head) is the Dyson V8 Animal, which is $399.99 at Bed Bath & Beyond and other retailers.
Sales of note for 4.18.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 50% off full-price dresses, jackets & shoes; $30 off pants & skirts; extra 50% off sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything; extra 20% off purchase
- Eloquii – 50% off select styles; 60% off swim; up to 40% off everything else
- J.Crew – Mid-Season Sale: Extra 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off spring-to-summer styles
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Spring Mid-Season Sale: Up to 50% off 100s of styles
- Nordstrom: Free 2-day shipping for a limited time (eligible items)
- Talbots – Spring Sale: 40% off + extra 15% off all markdowns; 30% off new T by Talbots
- Zappos – 29,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Up to 70% off baby items; 50% off toddler & kid deals & 40% off everything else
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off spring faves; 25% off new arrivals; up to 30% off spring
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Up to 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off kids’ spring-to-summer styles
- Old Navy – 30% off your purchase; up to 75% off clearance
- Target – Car Seat Trade-In Event (ends 4/27); BOGO 25% off select skincare products; up to 40% off indoor furniture; up to 20% off laptops & printers
See some of our latest articles on CorporetteMoms:
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
AnonATL says
Silly ftm question for your thursday: at what age/developmental stage do you stop dressing babies in the snap bodysuits and transition to tops and bottoms?
Kid is pushing 7m old but is about to transition into 12m sizes. There are some good sales going on right now, and I don’t want to load up on bodysuits in 18m size if babies become a pain to wrangle into those things at a certain age.
Anonymous says
Around 18 months I started buying only pants and shirts because I thought we might potty train soon (jokes on me… she’s 3 now and not trained), but I continued using the bodysuits we had until she outgrew them.
Cb says
Same here, I thought they were easier. And kept his belly covered when it was cold, when he was in the sling.
Anonymous says
I was not a fan of bodysuits. Mine was in t-shirts as soon as she was spending most of her time upright and cruising or pushing her walker wagon instead of crawling.
Clementine says
I stop buying them at 18 months… but it also depends on the kiddo. Middle kiddo has a really long torso and short legs, so I took that into consideration when buying clothes.
While you’re shopping, don’t forget to buy light sweatshirts/cardigans. For some reason, that’s something I always wish I had one more of. Even in summer with AC, I end up sending a light long sleeved zip up to school most days.
NYCer says
I switched around 9-10 months? I found two pieces to be so much easier.
Anon says
me too. i still purchased a few plain white bodysuits through the 18 month size to layer under other things if needed, but found 2 pieces sooooooo much easier.
Anonymous says
TEAM BODYSUIT:
My LO was ~18 months over the winter, and i kept buying body suits up to size 24 mo (which he wore that winter). He has a long torso and is skinny for this height. Baby T-shirts always seems like crop tops and rode up when we was crawling around.
As long as you have to do up the diaper, the body suit was never an issue (relatively) in terms of the wrangle. I missed them in the fall at age 2, before it was snow suit weather, because it seemed like his little belly kept being exposed when he was climbing on things.
Obviously for ATL this may be less of an issue and you may not want them for the summer!
TheElms says
My kid is a huge pain to wrangle so we largely stopped wearing bodysuits by 12 months and she was in 18-24 months then anyway so we were close to sizing out. It was also summer and a dress with a diaper just seemed easier. We have worn a few during the winter (with a onesie extender) on really cold days as a layer below other things because their little bellies definitely hang out, so it probably wouldn’t hurt to have one or two around. I also sometimes put them on and put pants on with them and simply don’t snap them …
GCA says
Age 12m, but size-wise 18m. I swear baby vanity sizing is a thing. Either that or my children have long torsos. The primary motivator was that each kid was walking at that age or soon after, and thus upright most of the time (also, it was summer – a t-shirt and diaper seemed easier). Before then, bodysuit all the way.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Once they start walking consistently, that’s when we made the switch. My younger kid was in onesies past 1 year – he’s big and I liked the primary multicolored ones so I think he got up to the size 18 month (maybe even the 18-24mo?) ones.
Anon. says
Mine is 13 mo now wearing 18m clothes for the most part. We have a mix now, but when I’m buying the next size clothes I won’t buy any onesies.
Anon says
18 months, but that is because my kid was in 3T at that age and they don’t make bodysuits larger. I miss them – she couldn’t take them off on her own, they didn’t ride up, and did I mention she couldn’t take them off on her own? Around 2 I stopped buying zip up onesies for sleeping because I thought we would potty train (which we did at 3, hah).
Anonymous says
Nope I’m team bodysuit! Easier for them to not be belly shirts as they learn to climb on everything. Also, crawling.
AwayEmily says
When they stopped crawling (12 mo for one, 15 for the other).
Anonymous says
I loved them and used them as long as my kids would fit in them – definitely still used them in 18 month size. They do so much playing on their bellies even once walking, it just seemed cozier. And I don’t like seeing diapers peeking out of pants. Plus they do a better job containing any diaper issues. I had only a few in 24 months though as by that point kids were too wiggly to fiddle with snaps.
Anon says
My 18 month old still wears them, but lately we haven’t been using them as much because he likes to look at his bellybutton. I prefer them so that things don’t ride up when he wiggles around and don’t find it hard to dress him in them, fwiw. He’s also grown out of them (they’re mostly done at size 24m) but a few stores like H&M have bodysuits up to 4T.
Anon Lawyer says
I’m reaching more for t-shirts at 14 months because my child has decided that getting her diaper changed is LITERAL TORTURE so having the extra set of snaps to deal with adds a few extra seconds to the process that I can’t handle right now.
Anonymous says
With both of my kids, they’ve worn them up through 24 months sizing. I like the fact that it keeps their bellies covered, but really, I liked the fact that it keeps my boys’ hands out of their diapers.
Anon says
I do bodysuits or onesies until they are regularly walking instead of crawling, as I find t-shirts constantly ride up as they crawl or I pick them up. For both my kids we transitioned more to shirts around 18-24 months.
Cb says
We refilled our bird feeders and bought another one and it’s been an unexpected source of entertainment for all of us. I’ll watch birds in lieu of staring at my screen and my son will set himself up in the sunroom with the bird ID chart and see what he can spot. A random purchase that has definitely paid off.
Anonymous says
Love this
Pogo says
LO also loves the birdfeeder at his grandparents! He knows several of the common birds and points them out.
Anonymous says
I love this too!
We can’t have a bird feeder, because our cat is determined to be an indoor-outdoor cat despite our best efforts to contain him, and I don’t want to lure any birds to their death. But thanks to pandemic, idle bird-watching is how I give my eyes a break from the screen, now, too. I never understood why this is a hobby before, but you’re so right that birds are unexpectedly (to me) entertaining!
Redux says
We can’t have one because of bears!
Anon says
I wonder if you’d help more birds than you’d hurt if you kept the bird feeders clean and followed all recommendations, unless your cat hunts constantly? Our cat growing up caught a bird every now and again in our yard full of bird feeders, but our yard was also absolutely full of birds. I’ve never seen as many birds since.
Anonymous says
My dog is a successful bird-hunter. I don’t know how she catches them, especially since she is missing most of her teeth (rescue dog). We do not have a lot of birds hanging around when she is outside, which during the winter is most of the day because she wishes she were a sled dog.
Anonymous says
PP here and unfortunately, my cat is a successful bird and small-mammal hunter. My backyard is full of squirrels and birds when he’s inside, but it turns into a ghost town when he gets out.
Unfortunately, he failed to catch the mouse that chewed through a cable and fritzed out our AC compressor. The mouse died anyway, but it wouldn’t have cost us a couple thousand dollars if the cat had caught it!
Pogo says
For the birds, a bell was helpful in thwarting my hunter kitty. He could still catch voles, chipmunks, mice, etc (which we were fine with) but I did not like him getting birds.
Anonymous says
We do this, too! We all love it. We have one in the tree that is right outside my first floor bedroom window. It is now light enough in the mornings that I can lay in bed on the weekends for a few minutes before kiddo wakes up and watch the cardinals. It is a great way to wake up.
Anonymous says
We’ve recently put out two in our very small (townhouse) backyard. I love them, although several times a day they’re overrrun with sparrows that drain the feeder. I like watching the doves knock the sparrows out of the way to get food. Husband hates both because our backyard is now covered in poop (grass, furniture, grill cover…)
Curious says
PSA from Washington State: birds are on a strict social distancing order up here due to an influx of Canadian birds infected with salmonella. The state extended a request to not fill bird feeders at this time.
This is not fake news and I find it morbidly hilarious.
Jeffiner says
This weekend is the Great Backyard Bird Count! https://www.birdcount.org/
Banananon says
Second kid is 8 weeks – I feel like we are all adjusting well, but really miss the special time I used to have with first kid, and am feeling bummed about it!
Clementine says
You’re just getting into the groove. Give yourself grace – you’ll find the time and space to make time for both of them.
It’s hard with a tiny newborn, but as they get older – my kids LOVE special one on one adult time. My oldest ADORES a drive to the Starbucks Drive Thru with just Mommy. Kiddo and I both get a drink, I let him sit in the front seat (while parked) and we watch planes land at the airport while in a parking lot and chat. It’s nothing fancy but it’s this wonderful moment of connection for both of us.
Anon says
My second is the same age. Since my first is LOUD, I’ve been doing all baby naps in the crib. During that time, I’m able to get the 1-1 time in with my first.
Clementine says
My sweet SWEET husband is very thoughtful and picked me out a pair of shoes he thought would be great for running after kids.
Unfortunately, when I got them, they look to me like the shoes that they give psych patients and/or inmates – slip ons with no laces and rubber soles. They’re not comfortable enough for me to get over the looks so…
Husband is very sweet and told me to pick whatever I want. I like the purpose he was getting them for – I could use another pair of casual shoes. I’m thinking of either Birkenstock Arizonas or AllBirds. Which would you pick?
avocado says
Birkenstocks all the way! I have comfortably walked as much as 12 miles a day in them. If you haven’t worn Birks before, I’d order two or three different styles from Zappos to try on. I find that the Mayari works much better for my foot than the Arizona, and some people prefer the soft footbed to the traditional one.
Clementine says
I have a pair of Birks but they buckle and wrap around the ankle (Yara) and the appeal would be sliding on the Birks to quickly run outside.
I like the Mayari but worry they’re ‘trendier’ than the classic Arizonas.
avocado says
The benefit to the Arizona for slipping it on to run outside is that you can leave your socks on.
Redux says
Noooooo! (jk)
avocado says
Or if you are my senior male colleague, you can wear white socks with your Birks to work in the summer and black socks in winter.
Clementine says
I am SO ready to just… complete the transformation to my mother and wear socks and birkenstocks and flowing skirts and dangly earrings 24/7.
Anon says
I’m a Mayari wearer – have worn them for probably the last 10 years! The benefit is that they’re less fugly than the Arizona (and the toe loop, which is a plus or minus I guess) but otherwise they don’t look trendy on. :)
Anonymous says
I’m a die-hard fan of the Gizeh. I wear them all summer.
AnonATL says
I have 2 pairs of allbirds. The wool runners and the tree loungers. The loungers are what I throw on everyday for daycare pickup when I swap out of house shoes. I also love my Arizonas for summer. A slide might be less functional for kid chasing.
The footbeds and styles are very different, but I think both are solid choices. Allbirds has a great return policy if the footbed doesn’t work for you. The runner takes some getting used to.
Clementine says
Husband LOOOVES his Allbirds and I like the idea of a non-workout pair of sneakers (other than my beloved Converse).
I would go for one of the lace up varieties – for bizarre personal reasons, I really don’t like shoes without laces that go up over the top of the foot (except Toms which look different enough to me that I don’t mind).
GCA says
What’s your climate? I’m in cork-footbed sandals all summer and sneakers the rest of the year (with a long winterlude for Snow Boot Season). So I’d get whichever work best with the rest of your kid-chasing wardrobe!
Clementine says
I know this is going to sound funny, but I realized after typing this that I was HOPING people would say the birks…
I think I got my answer. Lol.
AwayEmily says
YES! Birkenstocks are amazing.
Anon says
My rothys flats serve this purpose these days (and will go back to being my office shoes when the time comes – thank goodness they wash so well). I know rothys makes a slip on sneaker you might want to consider.
oil in houston says
ditto, I have 2 pairs of flat, and one of loafers, and they’re the easiest / most comfy shoes I own
Mary Moo Cow says
I own, ahem, 6 pairs of Birks. My latest pair is the waterproof/EVA Arizonas to replace my Rainbows, because this close to 40, I needed some support. Team Birkenstock!
DLC says
Not on your list, but I got a pair of Olukai shoes last fall and I love them- I find them comfortable and supportive. The back is designed to fold down so you can slip them on as slides for running out to the trash can or what not. I have the loafers but they also make a lace up version.
I will say they do run slightly narrow, though.
Clementine says
Great mind – lol. These are what my husband got for me! And I have this very distinct memory of visiting someone staying in an inpatient psych setting and they had these ‘assigned’ shoes which looked literally identical.
It’s something I just can’t unsee, but he thought the same thing! My feet are slightly on the narrow side, so the fit was fine but the heel felt… sharp.
Redux says
Wow, that is surprising! Olukais are 100$ a pop!
FWIW I love my Olukai sandals as an alternative to birks because I have high arches. Olukai are the only flipflops and sandals that i can walk in and wear all day.
Clementine says
To clarify: my husband thought they would be GREAT and liked the option to pop them on to run outside for a minute. He’s also a really thoughtful dude who has a wife who is hard to buy for because I like to veer towards minimalism and occasionally have really weird sticking points (see above rejection of perfectly fine shoes that just don’t work for me).
If anyone needs shoes like these though, Olukai seems really decent quality!
Anonymous says
A lot of slip-on shoes remind me of these really cheap cloth shoes that poor kids wore to school when I was growing up, so I get where you’re coming from.
Redux says
Yes, the Payless version of Keds. Same.
DLC says
Hah! I can see that now. Especially with some of their colour choices.
Momofthree says
You may have already made your decision but I have a pair of SAS sandals that I absolutely love. They’re made in the US with comfy soles (I have wide feet that got wider after kids so difficult feet but I believe they also have narrow).
For more of a sneaker, crocs has a pair called lite ride mesh sneakers so they don’t have the plastic-y top but have comfy croc soles. They look very similar to allbirds tree hugger.
I also have a pair of allbirds wool topper but the problem with both these shoes was that I needed more arch support.
Anonn says
Can anyone tell me about how they introduced an Ok to Wake clock? My 14 month old has been waking up at 5am-5:30am for the past few weeks and it’s killing us. It also wakes up his 5 yo sister, which is extra annoying. He is sleep trained and sleeps through the night with no problem, but can’t get past the early wake ups. It’s been a few weeks so I don’t think that teething is the issue. He goes to bed around 6:45pm, if that makes a difference . . . TIA!
Anonymous says
I think he may be a bit too young. Our sleep consultant said to introduce it around the second birthday. When we finally got around to it (a few months later), our son was old enough to get excited by the idea of “waiting for the green light.” Now we’re awoken to the sweet off-key singing of “Mommy, Daddy, my GREEN LIGHT IS ON!” :)
Anon says
Experts say that early waking is one of the most difficult sleep issues to address, because it’s developmentally normal. This jibes with my experience with several children. Sympathy
Anon says
no comment on the ok to wake clock, but daylight savings is coming soon and it should work in your favor. is your kid on one nap or two?
Anonanonanon says
I don’t think a 14-month-old child will understand, unfortunately.
Anon says
I’d take a look at nap schedule/possibly moving back bedtime. He may just be getting too much sleep (if he seems pleasant and alert at 5:30)
AwayEmily says
We introduced it at around 6 months with both kids. My kids are not unusually bright and they picked it up pretty quickly. By “picked it up” I mean they learned that when the clock turned green, parents would come in. If clock was not green, nobody was coming. Pretty much just classical conditioning. So eventually they figured out that if the clock wasn’t green, they may as well chill/go back to sleep.
We started out by setting it for right when the kid woke up, would come in and make a huge deal out it “Clock is green, YAY!!” Then we’d slowly start setting it for five minutes after, then ten minutes after, the finally to the time we were actually willing to go get him (ie after 6).
I loved it. Both of our kids were very early risers and it absolutely saved our mornings. That being said, we switched to a Hatch about a year ago and I wish I’d started with that rather than the OK to Wake clock. I love being able to control it from my phone (eg if the kid just happens to be sleeping in for some miraculous reason, you can set the clock to not turn green).
Anon Lawyer says
I’ve set our Hatch to play bird song as well as turn green at 6am to signal that it’s ok to wake. I think I started doing it around 10-11 months and now at 14 months she sort of gets it, I think. If she wakes up at 5:30 and seems awake I’ll chuck a toy and a book in her crib and go back to sleep and she’ll play quietly until the birds start at 6 (usually).
Freezer stash for post-weaning says
Did you build up a freezer stash of breastmilk in anticipation of weaning, so that your baby could continue to get breastmilk for several months post-wean? Any tips? How did you figure out how much to stash away?
I’m planning in advance – currently breastfeeding (mostly nursing, but she gets an occasionl bottle from dad or nanny). I will wean around the one year mark because I need to stop breastfeeding before we can start the process for our next IVF transfer cycle.
Also: I feel the need to say that it is a personal choice for me to breastfeed, to stop at one year, and to want to continue to provide her with (frozen) milk after I stop. It’s not the only choice, and I’m very supportive of anyone feeding their baby however they choose.
Anonymous says
No. I didn’t see any benefit to breastmilk after a year and couldn’t have built up a months long stash in any case.
Anonymous says
No, I was actually using mine up because I could no longer pump enough for daycare. It will also be easier to wean if your body is used to producing less milk.
Anonymous says
Sorry, I just realized you said you have already made the decision to do this. I respect that but have no useful advice.
Freezer stash for post-weaning says
No need to apologize! All advice is good. Appreciate the point re: easier to wean if my body is used to producing less. For clarity: I currently pump once per day (after a feed – and will obviously pump in lieu of breastfeeding any time she gets a bottle), and so I’m only planning to build up the post-wean stash using whatever I continue to get from this daily pump. I’m not going to add in any extra sessions, I have a natural oversupply and that would be bad news bears all the way around.
Anonymous says
Same–pumping stopped working for me a couple of months before my baby self-weaned completely.
Anon. says
No, when we weaned just after a year he went straight to cow’s milk.
TheElms says
I didn’t have the supply to do this but if I had I probably would have offered breastmilk instead of the morning or night sippy cup of milk. For my kid that would be about 6 ounces a day. So decide how long you want to offer breastmilk and do the math. For example, 6 ounces x 7 days per week x 27 weeks (would get you to 18 months old) =1,134 ounces. To build up that big a stash, you’ll probably need to add one or more pumping sessions a day (add in slowly so your supply keeps pace) starting now (unless you just have a ton of oversupply). Make sure to date everything so you use the oldest milk first when the time comes.
Boston Legal Eagle says
I had oversupply both times, so if you’re one of the lucky ones to have this, it’ll be easier for you. If you’re exclusively bf now, you can pump a bit after each session to keep. I’m not familiar with the IVF process – do you have to be completely not bf-ing? Easiest would be just to nurse in the morning and night for a few months after 1.
Freezer stash for post-weaning says
So every IVF clinic is different and I can only speak for my own (MGH), but yes – you cannot be breastfeeding when you start the process for an IVF transfer b/c it is very hormone-dependent. This is especially true for me because I do”unmedicated” transfers which means that they transfer the embryo 36 hours after ovulation – which they ensure via a trigger shot – but I take no other medications and my body just reacts to the transferred embryo, if it implants, the same way it would have reacted if the embryo had been created from p-in-v intercourse. So I need to stop breastfeeding and have three menstrual cycles before we can start the transfer process (best case scenario b/c this assumes that the testing they do after the start of the third cycle reveals no issues).
Anon says
Also at MGH… hi! No opinions on this topic but are you also suffering with them? I had #1 with them and their “customer service” was bad then. It’s next level god freaking awful this time around. Either way, solidarity, sister.
Freezer stash for post-weaning says
Since we’re between #1 and #2, I have zero interaction with MGH right now. Sorry to hear it’s a bit of a mess right now! I was fortunate to have a good experience (except for billing which was inept).
Sending all the good energy to you!
Pogo says
If you can do the drive and switching is an option, Boston IVF is amazing.
Anonymous says
I did not – mostly because I didn’t have a reason to stop like you do, so I nursed much longer than I pumped. I have at least one friend who was an EP’er who did this.
You can mix it with cow’s milk to make it last longer if you wish. We did that strategy to move kiddo to cow’s milk (which she really didn’t take to at first but now loves…little kids’ tastes change so much in the early years).
Anon says
No. We introduced cows milk at 11 months because DD was rejecting pumped milk at that time – I had stopped pumping around 10 months because her consumption of pumped milk was already dropping. Then we nursed until 16 months or so – I started trying to wean at 12 but she was having none of it.
If you’re going to do this, you would (I imagine) do the same thing that I did before starting back at work at 5mo – which is add an extra pumping session when you’re not nursing (usually morning for me) every other day (so as to not muck up my supply too much) and tuck that away in the freezer. Make sure to date the bags because pumped milk is good for I think 6 months in a regular freezer and 12 in a deep freezer, but check the current recommendations on that (DD is 3.5 for reference). I used to put each of the frozen bags in a gallon bag by month to keep them organized. Keep in mind that if you’ve never frozen milk you may want to try some now to see if high lipase is an issue.
Freezer stash for post-weaning says
We’ve tested the frozen milk and baby thinks it tastes just fine (I also tasted it – no strange taste), so we’re good to go on the lipase front.
Anon says
I didn’t do this specifically, but I did build up a big stash for travel and weaning around 6 months. The only tip I have (that maybe is obvious? But I didn’t know until my second) is me and a lot of moms I know had by far the most milk in the morning – like, double what I would get the rest of the day – so make sure if anything that is when you pump for the most bang for your effort. (Assuming this proves to be true for you too).
I also started aggressively pumping when mine were pretty little even when I didn’t need it. It helped tell my body that’s how much I needed. I think the farther into it you go, the harder it will be to try to tell your body that you all of a sudden need more than what you’ve been doing especially if you go into an office at some point. (But also, breast milk only stays good in the freezer for 6 months, so you’ll have to factor that in to all of this). Good luck!
AwayEmily says
+1 on morning. I built up a decent freezer supply with my first just by pumping after my AM feeding. Like many people, with my second I did not bother doing this.
Spirograph says
How old is your baby now? Gently, you might be getting ahead of yourself, but there’s nothing wrong with planning.
A few things to consider:
– Milk doesn’t last forever, even frozen
– The composition of breastmilk changes over time. I’m not sure of the specifics, but milk for a 1 month old and milk for a 9 month old, for example, are not the same.
– It’s likely your supply will naturally drop before 1 year as your baby adds other food sources
– It’s possible your baby will lose interest in nursing before 1 year
– Developmentally, your baby will likely be ready to move on from bottles. Do you intend to give her breast milk in a cup?
If you are committed to exclusively feeding breastmilk to your baby past one year, you should very intentionally build up a freezer stash and rotate it regularly so that you are feeding the oldest frozen milk and don’t keep anything much more than 6 months old. The method that worked for me (that I learned from this s1te!) was to freeze the bags of milk flat and store them on end in a shoebox in my freezer, putting newest milk at the back.
That way you can always grab from the front and keep rotating.
FWIW, I used up the rest of the freezer stash when I stopped pumping (I stopped pumping when I was getting <5 oz per session because I felt was not worth my time anymore) and switched to combo feeding, and I'm fairly certain that all happened around 10-11 months for each kid. All three of my kids self-weaned around a year.
Pogo says
Good point, mine also self-weaned and had less and less interested in nursing around 10-11 months, so we started combo + stash feeding around then. He was fully weaned and drinking cow’s milk, no b-milk or formula, at almost exactly 13 months. Maybe I could have kept giving him b-milk from stash if I really wanted to, my supply naturally started to decrease around 10-11 mos when he was becoming a tiny toddler with places to go and people to see. So I went through the stash during those few months leading up to fully weaning as I stopped pumping.
I was totally open to b-feeding however long, but it’s a two way street with your baby!
Pogo says
I built my stash with the Haakaa, and also from doing an extra pumping session in the morning while on maternity leave.
Clementine says
I had a stash and ended up donating a LOT of milk (both to a milk bank and to a momma through my Doula who took the milk that didn’t precisely follow the milk bank’s ‘rules’) and still had frozen milk.
One thing to consider – a friend had planned all this out but when her kid went into the toddler room at daycare at 18 months, they wouldn’t give a bottle… and they were hesitant to give breast milk in a sippy cup. It ended up being a whole thing. She now says she wishes she hadn’t felt obligated to use all of it.
Anonymous says
Our day care was part of the USDA food and nutrition program, and would not allow you to send in any food or milk after age 1. Don’t know whether they’d make an exception for bmilk.
Anonymous says
Our daycare is USDA and you can send in milk or food for children older than 1 but you need a doctors note.
LB says
We ran into the same issue at 12 months.
Anonymous says
I had a little bit of a freezer stash and also stopped nursing around the one year mark. The freezer stash was mostly to help with the transition to cow’s milk – my girl was not a fan at first, so we started with breastmilk in a cup, then gradually added cow’s milk. By the time the freezer stash ran out, she was fine on cow’s milk. I think we fully transitioned around the 14 month mark.
Just keep in mind that some babies don’t like the taste of thawed breastmilk, so see if yours will take it before you build up this stash.
LB says
I wrote a long reply that disappeared into mod, but basically – I did this, and then ended up throwing most of it out because we never used it and it expired. I wish I had gone easier on myself. My second is six months now and we are not doing it this time.
I’ll also add that I had oversupply that went away as baby got older, so just because pumping a ton extra may seem feasible now doesn’t mean that it will be that way forever. Give yourself permission to readjust on this if it gets too hard.
Anon says
I did build up a stash but after I went back to work I eventually used it all up when baby was around 10 months – pumping was just hard for me to maintain. I built up my stash by having my husband bottle feed the baby before bed and then I’d pump before going to bed.
Momofthree says
The only thing I would add from a timing and stash perspective is that you’ll also want to factor in the time it will take to actually stop expressing/producing milk into your timeline.
If you plan to have your baby stop nursing at 1 year then you’ll probably still need to pump for a certain time afterward to gradually reduce your supply, otherwise you’ll probably end up with clogged ducts, mastitis, etc.
Weaning is not normally an on/off switch
Anonymous says
This. Weaning was easy for me but I nursed until 18 months and kiddo self weaned gradually. If you’re pumping multiple times a day for an infant, you can’t just stop cold turkey.
Anon says
TX mom here, though originally from the northeast so can’t believe i’m asking this question, but we are going to be getting some unusually cold weather coming up, highs of 32, 39 and 41. usually i would’ve purchased some warmer weather gear for my kids bc we typically head east around the holidays to visit family, but skipped that this year. they have patagonia lightweight puffer coats and north face denali jackets, and they do have hats and gloves. can we get away with those coats with some strategic layering? do i have them wear two pairs of pants on the bottom?
Anonymous says
Oh yeh you’re fine layering with hats and gloves. I find my kids run warmer than I do. Two pairs of pants if you want.
Anonymous says
Are they going to be outside all day? You’re probably fine. PJs can be long underwear pants in a pinch.
Lyssa says
I live in Tennessee, and that’s a cold snap, but not an unusual one, for us. For standard going out and about, my kids are fine in their mid-range jackets and regular pants (even with almost consistently bare ankles, because they’re stylish like that). If you’re planning to spend some real time outside, I would definitely layer (long-sleeves under sweater/sweatshirt under jacket, and maybe leggings under pants), but they should still be OK. They’re a lot less troubled by the cold then I am. :)
(I’m wearing a dress with bare legs to the office today! But we’re expecting a major-for-us snow in two days!)
Anon says
Puffer jackets and hats and gloves are plenty warm. If you have sweatpants or fleece pants I’d go with those (single layer).
FP says
If anyone needs some inexpensive kids long underwear, Costco has a great layering set in black or white/silver colors in kids sizes for $7! It’s the 32 Degrees Heat Kids’ Base Layer Set, and it shipped quickly for me. Ordered on Saturday and arrived on Wednesday.
oil in houston says
that’s the one I got for my daughter and that we used in Canada, it’s great
oil in houston says
TX mom here too, used to live in Canada, what I plan on doing is –
baby in one-piece fleece pj with bodysuit underneath, and his snow suit jacket (both $30 on TJ ma xx with the snow trousers if it comes to that), he only has sneakers to wear so that will have to do. or I may put him in his rain boots if he accepts to wear them…
my first grader will have a puffer jacket, a wool sweater, tights or warm underwear under her fleece pants, boots, mittens, hat… she’s old enough to tell me if she’s cold …
Anonymous says
I’ve been diagnosed with Hashimotos/hypothyroidism, and my doctor told me not to eat anything with calcium or iron for 4 hours after taking my thyroid pill in the morning. Do y’all have any suggestions on what I can have for breakfast that doesn’t have either of those? Thank you!!
Anonymous says
Push back! Mine was very responsive when I complained that I did not want to go through life without milk in my morning tea or yogurt and basically said not to take supplements but just eating normally after waiting an hour was fine, and we could adjust the amount of meds as needed if there were absorption issues.
anon says
+1. I have Hashimoto’s and my doc hasn’t given me this restriction. I just take my vitamins at night and then wait 30 minutes after taking the pill to eat. My original doc told me an hour but my new one said 30 minutes was fine!
Anonymous says
Huh, that is not what my spouse (post thyroid removal for cancer) was told. I believe the window was only 2 hours, which is much more doable. For reference, she has trained herself to wake up and take it an hourish before her normal wake time, then has whatever she wants once the kid is off to daycare. And her levels (tracked very carefully on a monthly basis for several years) have always been excellent, so no absorption issues.
Anonymous says
My mom does something similar. Given her age, she’s up a few times in the night to use the restroom, and she takes her thyroid medication in the middle of the night.
Anon says
My mom also wakes up early (~5am) to take her pill and then goes back to sleep.
Redux says
I do think thyroid removal is different from management of hashimotos (without removal).
Mine is also removed and I wait an hour after taking my pill in the morning before eating anything. I’ve switched to drinking black coffee instead of coffee+ cream, and often eat breakfast at the office instead of at home.
You can also ask if you can take it before bed instead. Ask your doctor, but my doc said this was an option if I could take it on an “empty” stomach– 4 hours after eating anything– then go to bed. But I am an early-to-bed person and couldn’t reliably have 4 hours from the last time I ate (usually around 7) before bed (usually around 10:30).
Anonymous says
What medication are you taking? I take levothyroxine/synthroid and both the pharma package insert and my doctor say 1h before calcium. I just take my pill first thing and eat breakfast last.
Anon says
That’s strange – I’ve taken meds for Hashimotos for years and have never been told that. I usually just have to take it on an empty stomach and then wait half an hour before I eat anything. I’d inquire further.
Boston Legal Eagle says
This question may be more appropriate for the main site but I tend not to read there anymore (I’m a little scared of the responses there!) – what camisoles do you all like? For background, I like wearing a camisole – basically a spaghetti strapped tank type shirt – under my regular shirts, over the bra. I’m still wearing my GAP nursing ones (with the little clips – I know… I just haven’t had time to look for new ones). I’m probably a S/M in size for these. Any favorite brands?
Anon says
I got some in a 3-pack in Costco that are soft and comfortable. I think it’s the Felina brand.
Katala says
I like these the best too. And the price is right.
anne-on says
I have a fairly ridiculous amount of the Ann Taylor ‘Stretch Cami’ ones. I size up (medium, I’m normally a size S, 2/4). They have enough slip to lay well under sweaters without bunching up, and I find they look a bit more polished than the cotton GAP ones. I started wearing them when I went back to work and was nursing – I would layer these under sweaters/button down shirts. I would take my top layer off and then slide these down to pump. I HATED being totally topless to pump and these wash super well as long as you hang to dry.
anon says
+1 to the ann taylor ones. I have some that are 10 years old and they’ve held up and stretched remarkably well even though I’ve gained about 30 pounds over the years.
Realist says
I like Second Base demi styles if you don’t need tummy coverage and just like the look of the cami on top. They make camis too but they seem pretty expensive for a cami and I have never ordered them. The website is shopsecondbase dot com. It doesn’t come up well on search results.
anon says
Advice for letting a nanny go? We are still in the trial period with her per our agreement and plan to pay several weeks as severance in any case. Things just are not working out — not responsive to feedback, not patient with the kids, etc. I’m especially looking for tips on the logistics — when to tell her, how to do a goodbye for the kids (if any — kids are 1 and 4). I assume we tell her and ask her to leave right away, so we have a plan in place for childcare for the rest of that day. TIA!
Anonymous says
Tell her end of day on a Friday that it’s not working out and you’re letting her go. No goodbyes.
anne-on says
This. Also if you’re in a trial period do you need to pay severance? I’m not against giving her the standard 2 weeks if that’s what you’ve agreed to but you’re also going to need to pay for alternate care, so I wouldn’t necessarily do more than that.
Anonymous says
Same. That’s the point of a trial period.
Realist says
Agree. Pay out the trial period. So if you are on week one of a two week trial period, pay out the last week. You could give another week if you are feeling generous, but I wouldn’t give several weeks. And I feel like I am pretty generous when it comes to comp for nannies.
OP says
It was a month trial period, we’ll pay out the last week and then figured we would add a week to be more generous, so basically this. Thanks for all the feedback, just a lot of angst from the process of childcare almost a year into a pandemic although we’re super privileged to be able to hire a nanny.
Expecting says
Favorite books on becoming an older sibling? Kiddo is 14 months old, expecting baby in the next 4-5 weeks.
anon says
I’m a big brother/I’m a big sister by Joanna Cole
Anon says
Not sure if kid is a boy or girl, but Little Miss Big Sis was one of my DD’s favorites.
Anonymous says
Congrats!
We liked the “waiting for baby” and “my new baby” books. They’re very simple but offer lots of opportunities for discussion— although that is maybe not as helpful with a 14 month.
FP says
We liked the Daniel Tiger Big Brother book, which is basically the episode in book form.
anon says
On plus one on this one. DD liked this one too.
DLC says
Sara Gillingham’s book Snuggle the Baby is really cute- it has a cut out baby that you can move from page to page to “feed”, “swaddle” and “change it’s diaper.”
Annnonn says
You’re the Biggest by Lucy Tapper and Steve Wilson. Sweet, but not sappy.
Redshirting? says
I would love some advice on redshirting a kindergartener.
We are in the south, where this seems incredibly common for boys. My older son’s birthday is two weeks before the K cutoff, and our two year old’s birthday is two days before the cutoff. So if we send both of them on time, they will be the absolute youngest in their class. I am fine with this if it was a year of birthdays, but it seems like there’s a full 18-20 month range for boys. That seems insane to me. My four year old is definitely ready for K in the fall but I am really struggling with him going to school with kids who are turning 7 during the year. I realize this can change, but both boys are very small for their age right now. I’d like to also keep them two years / two grades apart – meaning whatever choice we make for the older one, we’d also do for the younger one.
I guess I’m just looking for encouragement in keeping them in another year of prek? My husband is totally opposed to it but I feel like I am forced into keeping them back because of how much older the other kids are. Complicating things is that especially this year, I feel like many people who may have been borderline decided to hold back since virtual K is such a mess. So potentially, the class is even older for those entering K this fall. Ugh. Why can’t people just stick to the cutoffs??
Anon says
So among our friends everyone has stuck to cutoffs. But we’re in private and the schools actually enforce. What birthdays are you talking about? I’d have a different answer for a May or an August. (May – should be the youngest. August – eh, could be oldest). Remember when they get to college they’ll be way older than the new england kids who have later cut-offs.
In the south too! And i have an August boy who could have gone either way and we let him go older, but with our date cut-offs that made sense.
Redshirting? says
Cutoff is Aug 1, both boys have mid or late July birthdays. In our area, it seems like public is generally on time where private (schools where we are looking) have the largest range.
Anonymous says
In that case I would not redshirt if they are ready for K. Kindergarten is designed for 5-year-olds, not kids who will be going on 7 at the end of the year. My kid turned 7 halfway through second grade. If she’d been that age in K we would have had a ton of boredom-related behavioral and academic issues.
Anon says
For summer birthdays, I would send them. The cutoff near me is Dec 1 and I am struggling with this decision for my younger son, but only because he has a fall birthday and he’ll start K at 4, and boys with fall birthday are more likely to struggle.
My older son has a late July birthday and has done great in K this year at age 5. In fact, his teacher called me yesterday to say how well he pays attention and participates! If you think he’s ready, I’d send him and not worry about the other kids .
Anon says
Also adding, it’s been hybrid/mostly virtual and he has still done great, socially and academically
Pogo says
Are there really people who redshirt to the degree that a kid would turn 7 in kinder?! Won’t they graduate high school at 19 then?
Anonymous says
Our cutoff is September 30 and many kids with summer birthdays are redshirted so they turn 7 right after finishing K. If OP’s cutoff is August 1, I could totally see parents redshirting their May and June kids so they turned 7 during the last months of K. But I agree that it is ridiculous.
Anon says
I know several people who graduated at 19 (due to starting K late, not being held back). I don’t think it’s that weird. It was a concern for my parents when I was a 13 year old eighth grader taking math classes with seniors who were literally adult men, though.
Anonymous says
It is totally weird for adult men to be in high school.
Anonymous says
Well, 18 year olds are adults too and normal age kids turn 18 during their senior year. I don’t think there’s a whole lot of difference between 18 and 19 personally.
Anonymous says
It needs to be about whether each child is ready, not how old the other kids are or what you did with a sibling. FWIW, my kid has many classmates who are 18+ months older and it’s always been fine. The only real issue is that some standardized tests are normed by grade rather than age, which is fine when they are being tested on what they know but can put them at a disadvantage on aptitude tests.
I would find out what K will look like in the fall before making a final decision. If it’s virtual or hybrid or they are in the classroom but spending all their time on laptops or iPads, I’d consider redshirting, homeschooling, or private K. All of my friends with early elementary kids say virtual school is a special kind of he11.
Redshirting? says
In theory I agree with you about going when the kid is ready, but I am looking ahead to middle school/high school, when older boys are changing interests to adult things and my kid is a year and a half younger and still likes Harry Potter, etc.
Your point about virtual K is a good one.
avocado says
I have a ninth-grader who happens to be the youngest in her grade. In my observation, it’s not age but personality and home environment that determine whether a kid will keep up socially. In middle school, the kids who didn’t fit in actually tended to be older and bossier and to come from homes where they were encouraged to be bossy and/or aggressively shielded from mainstream culture (e.g., no TV at all).
The one thing that gives me pause is that now she’s taking most of her classes with tenth-graders who are 2+ years older than her and they are starting to date. Yikes. Not sure how that will play out when they go back to school in person.
Anonymous says
Why yikes? Dating in high school is completely normal and to be expected.
Anonymous says
I agree with you that it’s personality and home environment, not age. I skipped a grade and it bothered me not-at-all that I was younger than everyone in my classes, even in high school when I was the last one to get my drivers license. I didn’t get into the dating scene in high school, I just kind of ignored it entirely. Maybe because I was younger and immature, but more likely because of my personality.
avocado says
Yikes if 16-year-olds with drivers’ licenses are asking my 14-year-old out.
Anon says
@avocado, 14 year old girls dating 16 year old boys is incredibly common and not a function of red-shirting or academic acceleration. In my high school, it was a cliche that the most popular senior boys dated the prettiest freshman and sophomore girls. As an adult I definitely think it’s sad that we normalize “powerful” men dating younger women at such a young age, but I also think teenagers are going to date who they want to date and as long as they’re within a few years of each other there’s little you can do about it besides set reasonable boundaries, like no riding in cars with a boy you don’t know well. 14 and 19 would be a very different story.
Texas mom says
With a summer birthday in the south, your kid shouldn’t be a year and a half younger than other kids. A year sure, but if parents have kids 18 months older, those kids will be 2 years older than peers at college from the NE – which is just weird.
Anonymous says
We ‘redshirted’ but also – where I live the cutoff is in December. Kid’s birthday is within a month of the cutoff and what we did was send him as the youngest for Pre-K and see how it went. Well, between COVID and some social-emotional development that needed to happen, we did another year of Pre-K. It was a great choice.
Is there the option to send kiddo to Pre-K and evaluate with the teacher to see how it’s going?
(Also, it’s so wild to me that there are places with such different cutoffs! FWIW, my husband and I have birthdays within the same week in the fall. In the 80’s, you sent girls to be the youngest and boys to be the oldest. And that’s just how it went! And I still find this hilarious.)
Redshirting? says
He’s in Pre-K now and doing very well, but obviously this year has been a sh*tshow and the thought of getting to re-do it is appealing. I keep thinking about manipulatives, projects, etc. that they haven’t been able to do at all in the classroom.
Anonymous says
I wouldn’t worry about missing out on manipulatives, etc. in Pre-K. All the other kids will have missed out on them too, and they will still use them in K.
On the subject of manipulatives, I used to tutor math. The manipulatives I found most useful were the two-sided counters, Base 10 blocks, fraction towers, play money, and a teaching clock. They are far more effective when used in a one-on-one setting than in a large group classroom setting anyway, so you could buy some of these to use at home. The Base 10 blocks and fraction towers will be useful for elementary school math all the way through long division and dividing fractions.
Anon says
so i am also in an area where people red shirt a lot. and i would hold him back. my colleague’s daugther has an april birthday and she is the second youngest in the class. yes, i do think it should be about each individual child, but it will also be hard later on to be the last kid with the driver’s license, etc., especially since there will likely be boys a full year older in the class.
Anonymous says
On the other hand, it would be very difficult to be stuck in high school when you are almost 19! I graduated at 17 and I was so ready to be out of there.
Anonymous says
Ditto!
Anon says
I was a May birthday, and it would have been terrible for my parents to hold me academically. Yes, I was one of the last kids to get my driver’s license, but most of my friends were the same age as me (so also youngest in the class), and I “suffered” for a few months, but it was fine. I also wouldn’t have been able to have a parking spot at school as a sophomore anyway. I would have been so bored if I’d been held back. DH though– had a June birthday and is very smart but honestly, probably would have done better if held back. He is one of those guys that did not do great in school even though he is very smart, likely due to lack of maturity.
Anon says
Drivers Licenses aren’t the big thing they once were….I know many teens who really don’t care about getting them promptly
Anonymous says
I don’t understand this trend at all. Why don’t kids want independence and freedom? I wonder whether it has something to do with graduated licensing laws that limit passengers for newly licensed teens.
Pogo says
We also didn’t have Uber growing up. I wonder if that’s part of it too?
Anon says
I was prohibited by my parents from having passengers (except one close friend that they knew and trusted) or being a passenger in another kid’s car, and I was still desperate to get my license because I wanted to drive myself places and not have to depend on my parents. My working parents were also very eager for me to get a license! I think Pogo is right that it might have more to do with the widespread availability of Lyft and Uber so they’re not dependent on parents for rides as much.
Anonymous says
It IS insane that there are kids who will turn 7 in kindergarten! Our local norms are different, I don’t get the sense that redshirting is rampant. If it’s that normalized and you intend to live there and go to that school forever, maybe you do want to redshirt, but if at some point your boys might end up in school with a different cohort… FWIW, cutoff is Sept 1 where I live, and in some places it’s January. You could get a very different age mix elsewhere.
For us, we are planning on sending my son, whose birthday is a week before the cutoff, to K this year. I was leaning toward redshirting, but my husband has a cutoff birthday and was not redshirted, and is very opposed to it. I figure he gets more of a been-there-done-that say than I do.
Other factors in our decision were:
-Readiness: Check. He’s been in full time daycare/preschool his entire life (except pandemic break) and does well in a structured setting.
-Daycare costs: We’d rather be done sooner.
-Physical development: He’s gigantic. He will probably be one of the biggest kids in the class even though he’ll be the youngest. I wouldn’t redshirt him just because he was small, but the fact that he isn’t means I don’t have to consider it.
-Grade spacing between siblings: He’ll only be one year behind his sister. It’s not my favorite from a social standpoint, but it does simplify logistics since they will be in the same school all except 2 years at the middle and high school transitions. I would encourage you to consider your kids as individuals rather than feeling like you’re locking in a decision for both of them right now.
-Academics: Based on parents alone (because who knows with a 4 year old?!), he’s more likely to be ahead of his peers than struggle, academically. I’d rather he’s with mostly older kids and challenged than mostly younger kids and bored.
-Life in general: A year earlier start to real income and compounding interest can be significant by the time you want to retire. That said, macroeconomic factors can completely wipe it out, so this wasn’t weighted very heavily.
Anon says
I grew up in the South and recently had this conversation with my parents because my baby will be born late in the year. Parents in the South red-shirt their kids for a lot of different reasons– some are behavioral/academic, some are sports-related. My dad had an August birthday before a September 1 cutoff, and to this day, feels like he should have been held back so that he would be better at sports.. even though he excelled academically. My brother was very into sports, and most of the kids on the teams he was on were either spring birthdays that had been held back or birthdays at the beginning of the year (so, the oldest kids in the grade). Most kids that were held back for academic/behavioral reasons were not held back starting kindergarten. Instead, the public school I went to recommended repeating kindergarten if the kid was not doing well. (They made these recommendations for girls and boys.)
Anonymous says
Club sports usually group by age, not grade. Unless your kid plays football or basketball and the high school team is a big deal, I wouldn’t worry about it. For other sports, club is what matters and clubs may not even allow them to play for the school.
Anonymous says
Adding–I suppose you would also want the advantage of an extra year of age for NCAA D1 recruiting, but that is not going to be an issue for most kids and is certainly not something you can predict at age 5.
Anon says
In my Southern suburb– the parents holding their kids back for sports are doing it for football. Club sports aren’t really a thing.
Anonymous says
We are in the South and here it is all about club soccer.
AwayEmily says
I’m not convinced that age is that important a predictor of social/academic skills. My daughter is entering kindergarten in the fall (she will be 5.5). Because her preK is a small mixed-age classroom, she has spent the last couple of years in a classroom with kids who are years older *and* younger than her. And age seems only very weakly correlated with maturity/friendship/etc. She’s currently 5 and very close with a kid 11 months younger than her, and when she was 3 she was BFF with a 5yo. There are 4yos in her class who are almost reading, and there are kids (like her) who are older but not even close to reading. So yes, I guess I agree with the commenters saying “do whatever is right for him and his own maturity level, regardless of his age.”
Anonymous says
Make the decision based on the child you have in front of you. For us, that meant starting our 2wks before the cut-off child on time for kindergarten. Then, when it became apparent that he wasn’t ready socially/emotionally to move past that setting, we had him repeat the grade. Other kids his same age didn’t repeat the grade and are doing seemingly fine. He has some friends in his grade with similar birthdays whose parents had them repeat pre-k or do a transitional year or whatever. So there is always going to be a range of ages. But you will frustrate yourself trying to predict what everyone is going to do so just focus on what your kid needs right now.
Mary Moo Cow says
August 1 seems crazy early! I’m in the South, too, and our cut-off is mid or late September.
I have kids with May and late August bdays, so they will always be among the youngest. Daughter in K won’t be 6 until May, but she has kids who turned 6 in October, whereas, in Pre-k, 2 boys had August birthdays, so turned 4 after school started. One of those boys came to K, and teacher is aware and sensitive to his development/where he is now (we’re in private, tho, so probably easier for her to just give him an exercise ball to sit on than in a large or public classroom.)
What do your pre-k teachers think? They should have a good idea of his development and skills and hopefully, would give you an honest opinion about what grade level is right for him.
Anonymous says
In MA here but for summer babies, esp boys, and esp oldest boys, redshirting is common. My oldest is in 2nd and an October birthday. I thought she’d be the oldest in elem school. She is by FAR the oldest in her class. She has 4 kids that turned 8 over the summer then 3 kids with Sept/October/Nov bdays In a class of like 19 kids. Her (female) friend is an August bday and the youngest.
My middle is a late July bday. Socially, she would benefit from redshirting but only because this year is so socially lacking. We are sending her. If she were my oldest I would worry more but she’s already reading and already has friends at the school through my oldest.
anon says
I feel like … somebody always has to be the youngest? I would weigh this decision based on a) whether K will be offered virtually or in-person, because virtual kindergarden sounds like the worst; and b) whether kiddo is academically/socially ready to meet the typical kindergarten benchmarks. I would worry less about where all the other kids are at, because it’s a whole lot of speculation.
(I was the third youngest in my class growing up, which does shape my viewpoint some.)
Anonymous says
Agree with this.
Anonymous says
It’s an arms race to have the biggest, strongest, oldest kid in the class. If it continues, pretty soon kids will be starting kindergarten at age 7. When I was a kid, you started kindergarten at 4 or 5 and the handful of kids who turned 6 during the year were thought of as very old. Now at least half the class has turned 6 before they even start.
Anonymous says
I don’t think it’s accurate that kids who turned 6 during the K year used to be “thought of as very old.” Red-shirting may be increasing but it’s definitely not a new phenomena, and even non-redshirted kids normally turn 6 during kindergarten. I was a late May birthday with an August 1 cutoff and was the youngest kid in my kindergarten class in 1989. All the June and July birthdays were red-shirted and even the non-redshirted kids turned 6 during K. Heck, I was the youngest and I turned 6 before the school year was over. Not saying red-shirting hasn’t gotten worse, but it’s an exaggeration to say that it used to be normal to start K at 4. That has never been the norm, at least in districts with summer/early fall cutoffs.
Anonymous says
Our cutoff was in December and redshirting was not a thing, so there were a lot of 4-year-olds. By the time you got to second grade some of the older kids’ parents had pushed for them to be skipped a grade, which was routinely done.
Boston Legal Eagle says
This and other discussions about redshirting are fascinating. I too wish people just stuck to the cutoffs, absent a kid being completely unready to start. I personally have a problem with redshirting for sports reasons. Someone will always have to be the youngest – I think in general, if your kid is 5 by the time K starts, they’re probably ready. It would be nice if all of the cutoffs were standard too! So I like our Sept. 1 cutoff – December would be a little trickier I think – anecdotally, the main kids I can think of from growing up who definitely acted immature were those with late fall/December birthdays (and they were the youngest, sometimes over a year younger than others).
Anonymous says
Kiddo is 5 and in pre-K. The school day ends at 2:15. She used to go to after care 3 days per week. We took a break from after care during November-January when Covid was crazy in our area. She went back this week. Her pre-K teacher just sent me (just me, not DH) a message to let me know what kiddo has been upset today and is now crying because she doesn’t want to go to after care. What the hell am I supposed to do with that? I sent some sort of diplomatic message saying we’d talk to her about it tonight, but what the actuall eff? Why would you even make a point of telling me that ONE TIME she didn’t want to go. If it becomes a thing, sure. But thanks for making me feel like a totally horrible working mom. I am so unbelievably burnt out right now that this (probably objectively reasonable thing) is going to push me over the f’ing edge.
Anon says
deep breath. if your daughter is not usually upset at school and today was very upset, it seems normal for a teacher to reach out to maybe even give you a heads up so you might know what to expect at pick up time.
Anonymous says
This. I don’t think she’s trying to shame you.
Pogo says
I do agree she’s not trying to shame you, just share info, but it’s hard to hear that your kid is upset and you aren’t there. First day of daycare for the new baby and his caregiver texts me, “does he have a paci? he won’t stop crying” Uhh thanks… because I can totally apparate from this meeting to come give you a paci?
NYCer says
Hmm personally, I would like to know if my 5 year old was more upset than usual about something at school, including going to after care. It really just seems like the teacher was relaying info, not trying to be judgmental or make you feel guilty.
Pogo says
Ehhh I’m kinda with you. Unless there’s something you can do about it in the moment, why tell you? Fwiw, we have been having this battle on and off since inperson started back up. Some days, all excited, school is the best! Other days, I don’t want school, I want to stay with mommy and daddy.
I told him, Mommy and daddy have to work, so it would no fun to stay home! Through tears he goes, “I could play all by myself and not bother you?” (yeah cuz that worked out so well during lockdown)
These are tough tough times. Hugs.
Anonymous says
I had a teacher call me once and tell me that my second-grader did not want to order either of the cafeteria lunch selections so I needed to bring a sack lunch down to the school right away. I was like, “Ummm, I am in another state right now? Tell her to pick one or order a la carte.” How do they even have time to call parents about nonsense like this?
Redux says
I feel you! We had a short-lived nanny who used to send me updates like this throughout the day and I had to explain to her: This is your actual job. Literally the thing I pay you to do. You take care of it. I don’t think she was trying to shame me, I think she truly did not know that I preferred not to know the ups and downs of my toddler’s day in real time.
Anonanonanon says
Yes. We let go a nanny in large part because of this. Also, no problem-solving. Texts like “I can’t reach the wipes” me: “have you tried one of the stools?” (there are stools everywhere because kids). I tried saying “Imagine I’m performing surgery. If you wouldn’t text it to me during that, don’t text it” but she just couldn’t stop.
Anonymous says
What would you do for daycare “culture week” when your family is a mix of white European ancestry from many different countries, not religious and has been in the US for generations. We’re supposed to talk about our culture’s traditional foods, costumes, language, etc. but I have no idea what to say. My kid is the only kid in her class who is white and not a first generation American, so every kid except her actually has a culture to talk about.
Anonymous says
Ugh, this was the bane of my existence as a white atheist kid with no discernible heritage growing up in Los Angeles city schools where racial quotas limited white kids to 30% of the student body. Jewish kids could at least talk about their Jewish heritage, but I had nothing. It definitely made me feel othered and “less than” the vast majority of kids who could claim a cultural heritage. Is your family from a particular region of the US or even within your state? You could focus on local traditions and foods from that place. For example, when I grew up I learned that my mom’s hometown in NorCal was known for rodeo and a particular style of barbecue.
Anon says
your experience shows how easy it is to make people feel “othered” or “less than.” also to the OP- how awesome that your kid is i such a diverse setting
Anon Lawyer says
Everyone has a cultural heritage. It’s just that, as fish don’t think about water, you don’t think about your cultural heritage when it’s the majority culture that has become dominant in the society you live.
So, no, it’s not as interesting to talk about the cultural practice your families share because other kids know about them because, honestly, they have been socially punished for the extent to which they don’t comply with them for their entire lives. So, no, you probably won’t be the hit of the event, but it’s not that hard to talk about a book your mom read to you and you’re reading to your kid, or something your grandmother made you for Christmas dinner that you make for your family or whatever.
Anon says
I disagree – I think the things you described are family traditions, not “a culture.” I think everyone has special family traditions they can talk about, but some people really don’t have a specific cultural heritage. I don’t think it’s necessarily racial or related to how recently your family immigrated; I know people who identify strongly as being Italian even though they’ve been in the US for five generations and are white. But I also know a lot of people (including African-Americans) who have so many cultures in their genealogy that they don’t identify with any of them.
Anon Lawyer says
Being an American who has lived in America for generations IS a culture. It might not seem like an interesting culture to talk about at daycare because everyone knows about it, but it is a culture. Imagine how you’d describe the rhythms of your year and the course of your life to an alien who landed on this planet and who has never seen TV. Those things you’re describing are your culture – turkey at Thanksgiving, prom, being excited to get your driver’s license at 16, sitting on Santa’s lap in a shopping mall, etc.
And culture absolutely operates as a family level as well as a societal level. The best metaphor is to think of it as a series of concentric overlapping circles – no family in ANY culture practices it in exactly the same way. We just think of other cultures as a monolith and ours as individuals doing their things. I bet if you asked a lot of those immigrant families to describe their Thanksgiving meal they would tell you about how they incorporated dishes from their country of origin into the American traditions – that’s culture operating on a family level too.
Anon Lawyer says
Also, I don’t really think the preschool teacher is going to be Rules Lawyering what constitutes a culture so it doesn’t really matter that much as long as you can do a quick presentation.
Pogo says
I’m lucky in that I married someone who is a much more recent immigrant so his family actually has culture! I was always the same growing up – family was Irish immigrants from way back and we have zero culture. I really don’t know what to tell you.
Anonymous says
me too!
My family on both sides has people who fought in the US Revolution. My dad is from TX, though, so sometimes I used that as a “culture.” TX is kind of like a different country… at least to midwesterners.
Blueberries says
In your shoes, I’d do something specific to the region where you or spouse grew up. Something like:
-soft pretzels with mustard (Philly)
-blood orange, or avocado and blood orange salad and talking about California cuisine and Alice Waters, etc (Bay Area)
Also, any local/regional traditions. How you view kindness (Minnesota nice, Southern hospitality), common community gatherings/fundraisers (pancake breakfasts, spaghetti dinners, tailgating, a local parade), traditional clothing for something like going out to a nice restaurant (casual/formal/stylish), a tradition of welcoming people from all over and blending cultures, etc.
Anonymous says
I don’t know that I would talk about Minnesota nice or Southern hospitality as a positive thing.
Anon says
Yeah Minnesota nice means being fake nice or passive-aggressive. It’s a misconception that it means genuinely nice!
anon says
Yeah, I would have the same difficulties if asked to do this type of thing. I second the suggestion of going for something regional, especially if you or your husband’s hometown is not the city you’re currently in. I grew up in Tampa, so I’d probably do something like key lime pie, something with buccaneers (both the sports team and the Gasparilla parade), and maybe say something about the mix of different cultures and traditions in the area.
EP-er says
Much too late in the day…. but we always talk about how we celebrate Pi Day for things like this. I think that if you stop to think, there are traditions you have as a family. It might be only eating red things on Valentine’s Day, or where you go on vacation when school is out or some special thing you do for birthdays. (pose in front of the inflatable cake or whatever.) You do have a culture! It just doesn’t seem exotic because you are living it. If you all picked up and moved to China, what traditions would make sure to bring with you? Those are the things you talk about.
Anon says
I’m ethnically Jewish but not religious so we just talk about Hanukkah for this stuff. It feels kind of weird to me, because Hanukkah is such an insignificant holiday in the Jewish religion (it’s only become this big thing in western countries because of the proximity to Christmas; literally every single week there’s a more important holiday called Shabbat) but whatever. It’s easy to talk about, we have photos of our celebrations and there are lots of books about Hanukkah I can send in.
Anonanonanon says
I had to do the same for my son’s school and we are just… american WASPs. I think we had to decorate a paper gingerbread man but also do ascene around it? I maybe put a kilt on the gingerbread man? and then just did the scene of a big Christmas party we (used to) do every year. It wasn’t exciting, but like others said, no one was policing what was culture vs tradition