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Anon says
We got a written update from kiddo’s speech therapist and she had “Expressive Language Disorder” as the diagnosis. This whole time I was presuming kiddo had a speech delay. I googled this disorder and kiddo’s symptoms/speaking match with the description. What surprised me is that the therapist hasn’t really made it seem as severe as what I read online, hasn’t mentioned it as a learning disability, etc. I’m going to speak with her of course to get more details.
Kiddo’s done SO well working in speech therapy, so I’m proud of their progress, and happy to keep them in therapy (and whatever else) as long as they need, but also concerned if this a lifelong challenge.
Anyone have any experience with this? Looking for some hope.
Anonymous says
My 4 year old was diagnosed with mixed receptive/expressive language disorder, but after a year of ST he graduated to just having the expressive language disorder. The speech therapist hasn’t promised anything but has indicated that with more progress in ST he will likely graduate from the expressive language disorder as well. So, no, it may not be a lifelong challenge, depending on your particular circumstances.
OP says
Helpful anecdata – thank you.
ST says
My 4 y/o was diagnosed with this too! Good to know that it’s possible to graduate out of it. Our ST didn’t mention that it’s a learning disability or really tell us much about what it actually means, I just googled it. It’s probably too early to tell if this will be a lifelong challenge or not for us.
I’m in the process of reading The Misunderstood Child by Larry Silver, and it’s been a great primer (I have 0 prior experience with speech issues or learning disabilities). Highly recommend for anyone else who is new to this and trying to figure it all out.
OP says
I did the same thing re googling! ST never mentioned it.
Funnily enough the more reliable sources (like hospital webpages) don’t mention anything about lifelong issues either way. Like so many of these things it is probably kid-specific.
Anon says
My feeling on this is: how many adults do you know with language issues? Not that many right? It works itself out.
Anon says
No personal experience with that condition (although my husband has an absolutely brilliant and socially well-adjusted friend who didn’t talk *at all* until he was 4 or 5) but I think doctors tend to call things “disorder” just so they can put a label on it. I wouldn’t read too much into it or assume this will be lifelong just because the doctor is labeling it a disorder. If the child is making progress that seems like the most important thing.
SC says
Labels often help with insurance coverage. “Expressive language disorder” is the exact description of the diagnosis code that supports the services to the insurance company. “Expressive language delay” is listed under “approximate symptoms” for the same code. The ST, or their computer system, is probably using the diagnosis terminology that best fits with what the insurance companies are looking for.
AwayEmily says
One of my best friend’s son was diagnosed with this at around 4. He did a year of therapy and then “graduated” and was fine. It’s now three years later and he’s still doing great — super sweet kid, doing well at school, lots of friends, and does not stop talking (mostly about dinosaurs).
Anonymous says
I would ask the difference between EL delay and EL disorder. Our oldest had an EL delay. We did some sessions, and worked on simplifying the receptive language to give her confidence to try expressing. By age 4 it was no longer an issue. At 12 she doesn’t stop talking.
Anon says
I think they need something for insurance coding issues. The vast majority of kids who don’t have some other issue graduate from speech therapy and you’d never know they were in it.
Daycare. says
To the OP last week saying her toddler son wasn’t enjoying his new daycare, my daughter is also not adjusting well. We’re starting week 2 and there’s lots of crying at drop off and she cries a little on and off throughout the day. My husband feels one of the class assistants is starting to get annoyed with her and he is questioning our decision. I feel like we need to push through this and give it time. I wish it was easier to know what the right decision for our daughter is. Anyways, just some commiseration from this tired mom.
Cb says
Stick with it. My son wailed for the first month, sometimes vomiting from crying so hard, and they wouldn’t really let us leave him all day if he wasn’t happy. We had a real moment of doubt on whether we could make it work. It was a nightmare but he then spent a very happy 4 years there, and went back last week for a visit (after 2 years away) and was welcomed like a returning hero.
Anon says
Yeah, a week is not very long, I would stick with it. Maybe if she’s still miserable after a month or more you can re-evaluate.
I think I’m kind of in the middle on this: I wouldn’t pull a kid immediately because they seem unhappy, but I do think there comes a point where you should explore other options. My daughter’s infant room had a child who cried most of the day every day for an entire year and it did seem like daycare was a really bad fit for that kid. (Although even kids who like daycare go through phases of tough drop-offs, which is different than being miserable all day. My then-4.5 year old had a several month period where she cried and clung to us every day at drop off but was fine as soon as we left and would still tell us she loved “school.” I think it was the right decision to push through that.)
Anon says
My 3.5 year old is in a new class at preschool (it has been 1 week), and is super clingy at dropoff with DH, and cries when I do it (neat).
DH dropped our 6.5 year old to his first day of 1st grade today and he was also in tears initially.
Changes are hard!
Anon says
Change is hard. The adjustment to first grade has been harder for my daughter than the adjustment to K. I think maybe because it was a whole new school it was easier for her to leave daycare behind. This year she has to walk right by her kindergarten classroom every day and is very sad she can’t be with her beloved teacher and all her friends from last year (even though rationally she understands the friends from last year are not with the K teacher anymore). Also doesn’t help that her closest friend in her current class is out of the country for several weeks. I’m hoping things improve when that girl comes back.
Anonymous says
Stick with it. A typical adjustment period is 3-4 weeks if they attend daily and longer if part time. My kids cried when they started daycare and then cried themselves to sleep for a week when they finished the summer before kindergarten because they loved it so much .
Sometimes crying isn’t just unhappiness but overwhelm with a new environment. Are there any books that she loves? Can the workers read a favorite book to her when she is having a hard time?
Anonymous says
Give it at least a month!
We have had multiple months were son wailed every morning (basically any time there was a change) and not only was reported as very happy (within 3 mins of us leaving) but talks about how great pre-school was (for example). I GET IT; it feels completely heart-wrenching to leave them sobbing, but it will be OK. I promise.
Anon says
Is it just me or does it look like the main page has been hacked? It navigates to an Rx purchasing site.
Anon says
It is working fine for me.
Anon says
I’m having the same issue
Anon says
same here!
Anon says
It works fine for me and I’m currently not in the US.
Anon says
This happens to me if I access the website directly from a Google search, but it works if I click on the link above from the Moms site
Birthday menu says
We’re hosting a birthday party for about ten preschoolers from 10:30-12:30, so we want to provide heavy snacks that could be a lunch substitute. We know one kid is kosher, two have dairy allergies, and one has an egg allergy. What do we serve besides raw fruits and veggies? The kids will be running around the backyard, so I hesitate to offer hot dogs, which are easy but a choking hazard. Also, should we plan to feed the adults enough for a lunch? I assume about ten adults total.
AwayEmily says
I would go in a brunch direction. Bagels with multiple toppings (jelly, cream cheese, sunbutter), vegan muffins (you probably have a bakery somewhere that can do these), fruit. A quiche for the adults. Make sure to clearly list ingredients of everything somewhere.
Red Shoes says
I’d be a little offended if I rolled up to a party with my egg allergy toddler and quiche was what was on offer for the adults. I certainly wouldn’t expect everything to be egg free, but that is an aggressively egg-forward dish.
A galette or similar, which probably contains egg, would be in the same vein but less “I saw your kid had an egg allergy so I made the most eggy thing I can think of!”
Anon says
That seems dramatic to me. She mentioned bagels with toppings, vegan muffins and fruit as well. Having a quiche there too isn’t an insult to people who can’t eat eggs, anymore than serving burgers at a party is an insult to vegetarians. The important thing is having options for every restricted diet; not serving only food which everyone can eat (which might leave you with almost no choices!)
Red Shoes says
I literally suggested an alternative that contains egg and said “I wouldn’t expect everything to be egg free.” But yeah, a quiche is, like, the eggiest possible option short of literal eggs, and I’d be more worried about cross contamination and my toddler eating crumbs off the floor with that than with other dishes. We’re talking about a party of preschoolers; I’d feel differently about a party of older children.
AwayEmily says
Well, different people get offended by different things, and that’s okay! We are in this exact same boat and I have never been offended by being in the presence of things a family member can’t eat. My husband has severe dietary restrictions because of a life-threatening health issue. Most of our friends know about it and graciously make sure there is some food he can eat when they have us over. But they don’t AVOID serving foods he can’t eat — I wouldn’t even think to expect that of them, and neither would he!
Also — interesting that you would be offended by an “egg-forward” dish but not one that had eggs hidden in it. My allergy parent friends are most stressed out by dishes where the allergen is hard to find (e.g. milk powder in Doritos). I always try to avoid those in particular because the not knowing is super hard on them.
Red Shoes says
I’d be annoyed because a higher level of egg protein leads to a higher level of reaction and a higher risk of cross-contamination. I would never, ever let my allergy kid eat food I didn’t prepare and/or haven’t seen the label of, so my primary concern is other vectors for my child to inadvertently consume the allergen, and the risk is higher with dishes that contain a higher proportion of the allergen.
Your husband is an adult, and adults generally do not eat things they find on the floor. They also know not to pick up dirty napkins or utensils they find on the floor if there’s risk associated with that. Toddlers are…less reliable on that front, which means that if we’re in an area where the allergens are present, parents have to be on a higher level of alert.
It’s not a huge deal. I wouldn’t leave the party over it. But I would be a little annoyed that of alllllllllll the possible foods that could’ve been offered, the host opted for one that is a large amount of the allergen protein, because I’d have to focus more on what my kid is doing and less on talking to the other parents.
AwayEmily says
Fair point, my husband does not eat things off the floor! I don’t actually know any preschoolers who eat things off the floor, either (this party was for preschoolers), but as I often say to my kids “different families have different rules!”
Good luck moving forward — I think life is going to be a lot tougher for you if you opt to take actual offense at stuff like this, rather than just assume that people are doing their best and moving on. But I’m a pretty tough person to offend, and I know not everyone was blessed with thick skin.
Anon says
+1 everyone I know who has a kid with food allergies is much more worried about hidden allergies.
Red Shoes says
You’re not as thick skinned as you think based on how defensive you got over this, my friend! Best of luck being you, too!
AwayEmily says
Ha! tough but fair. All snarkiness aside — it’s really hard when someone you love has severe allergies; and even more so when they’re just a kid. Yours is lucky to have you.
Red Shoes says
Thank you, and sorry I got snarky — we are on the bad end of things with our food allergies, in case that isn’t obvious.
We opt out of a lot of parties and events because my kid has a weird lineup of allergies, and it’s just not fair to the hosts or other kids. It’s actually pretty rare for us to go to new friends’ houses; we tend to have them come to us until I get to know their parents. And like I said, we bring our own food everywhere. I want to give my kid a normal life, and I can’t, and it sucks, and I know that’s my problem to own, but it stings when I get reminded of how far off normal things are right now, and that’s all I was trying to say. And again, I know that’s totally mine to own.
Anon says
Popcorn, the olive oil and salt kind. Pita chips with hummus. There’s a great non-dairy pirate’s booty dupe called Hippeas that our kids love. If you want a meat option, get a bucket of fried chicken tenders or do a couple of trays of Dino nuggets. Could also do some kind of meatballs on hot dog buns. If you want to make a cake, check out the chocolate olive oil cake on smitten kitchen — I just made this for my kid’s 6th bday (two guests had dairy allergies), and the kids preferred it to the regular cake. That same site also has a terrific vegan confetti cupcake recipe.
Red Shoes says
Popcorn is a choking hazard and not advised for preschoolers. Fried chicken probably uses egg in the batter. Your other ideas are great!
Red Shoes says
Oh, if you meant popcorn for the adults, I’m all for it!! One of my favorite snacks currently.
Anon says
Where I live popcorn is normal at preschool parties for kids turning 4 or 5, and I don’t know anyone who avoided it past that age. But I think I run in generally less cautious circles than many here.
Anon says
Yeah, I’ve been to numerous preschool parties with popcorn both where I live (west coast) and when visiting family (midwest, Texas). The AAP generally considers it safe by age 4, which is preschool age.
Red Shoes says
AAP also considers hot dogs safe at age 4, but OP was worried about them, so I assumed they’d have the same concern about the other toddler choking hazards.
Anon says
Dino Nuggets are egg-free. It’s also not too hard to find egg-free fried chicken. KFC Extra Crispy is egg-free, for example.
TheElms says
PB&J (since I’m not seeing nut allergies). You could use a cookie cutter to make them into fun shapes. Chicken tenders / nuggets. Soft pretzels and dips?
Anon says
any kind of meat is hard if they are trying to be respectful of kosher, unless they get kosher meat or don’t plan on also serving any dairy.
Anon says
Even kosher meat can’t be combined with dairy. My guess is anyone who keeps kosher will just eat vegetarian so they don’t have to worry about cheese and butter, so having some solid veggie options like a veggie burger is probably a good idea.
anon says
How kosher is the kosher kid?
Anon says
Yeah, the kosher people I know are really just “kosher style” which means they can eat normal food as long as they avoid shellfish and pork and don’t mix meat and dairy. At an event like this, they would normally stick to a vegetarian diet to avoid the meat/dairy combo. So it’s probably fine as long as you have good vegetarian options, but it’s worth checking. Some (mostly Orthodox) Jews won’t eat food that isn’t certified kosher, but in the US I think being that strict is pretty rare.
Red Shoes says
My kid has food allergies, and I bring my own food everywhere. I’d ask the food allergy parents for their preferences, but I can almost guarantee they’re not going to trust anything you provide (no offense).
Red Shoes says
Also, both egg and dairy don’t typically have a high risk of cross-contamination being a serious concern, but they can for some kids. I think you’d know if that was a concern, but you may want to ask if the allergen-containing foods should be kept on a separate table from the ones that don’t have allergens. You’ll probably get a no.
And thank you so much for being considerate of this. Allergies range in severity, but they’re a real bummer for the kid, because it’s hard to feel like “a normal kid” when you’re not allowed to eat what your friends are eating. You are doing a kindness by thinking about this, and I am hopeful that none of this will add much administrative overhead to your party planning!
OP says
Thanks for the suggestions! I think separate tables with allergen free foods is a great idea, and I can check with parents about their kid’s favorite allergen-free food. When our kiddo was a baby, he had dairy and soy allergies and we got food for his first birthday from the most delicious vegan restaurant that had kid-friendly foods like Mac-n-cheese bites. Alas, we moved otherwise I’d order from there again!
Anon says
I’m in the SEUS, but the standard food for this party in our circles would be Chik Fil A chicken nuggets, a fruit tray, and various kid snacks. I would do popsicles instead of a cake with so many kids with allergies.
My husband is Jewish, and my son attends a Jewish preschool. Is the party on Saturday or Sunday? If Saturday– and the kid that keeps kosher is attending, he likely keeps a kosher style diet and would be ok with chicken so long as you aren’t also serving dairy. If he truly keeps kosher, he may not eat anything you serve, regardless of how much you try to accommodate him, so I would not necessarily make menu decisions solely on him. (We’ve tried to accommodate family members with strict kosher diets before, and sometimes, regardless of what we supply, they will bring their own food or eat nothing. We just try to not have anything that would actually be offensive, like pork.)
Anon says
This is exactly what we served at my kid’s bday party in the NE as well, but we didn’t have any friends with allergies. Not sure if CFA nuggets are egg free.
Anon says
There is a brand of cookies and bars at my grocery store and Target called “Made Good” they do not have common allergens including dairy, peanuts and egg. Might be a good pre-packaged option to have on-hand.
Anon says
My 3.5 screams bloody murder when playing outside/running, playing INSIDE (e.g. they are building something and it falls, rough housing with their brother), anytime they are asked to do something they don’t like (in this scenario it’s often a mix of screaming/crying/nasal whining).
Last week, I asked kid to go to the bathroom, and he ran there…while screaming.
We’ve talked about inside voices, we’ve read a book 9273298372 times about this, kid will even say “no screaming!” and I am at my wit’s end.
Any tips to help? Or do I keep reminding and hope he ages out of it?
Seafinch says
My husband’s nickname as a kid was “Foghorn” and his sister is even worse. Neither has outgrown it and some of my kids are the same. It’s not limited to typically loud scenarios. It’s exhausting. I have no good advice. I just repeat the direction to lower the volume, with varying success. My worst kid for it is ten and has marginally improved with lots of reminding. My sympathies.
Anon says
Sounds normal for a 3 year old to me, but I hated that age.
too loud says
commiseration. I must have said “stop yelling/screaming” 100 times this weekend to my 7 year old. that is her only response to anything,
PinkKeyboard says
Not going to lie, sometimes I answer back in the whine or awful yell tone they are using. Their ensuing horror at how annoying it is sometimes leads to an improvement.
AwayEmily says
Reporting back from our weekend backyard party. About 35 adults and 15 kids, 3pm-7pm. We had two bounce houses (our own little-ish one plus a huge one we rented). We also rented extra tables and chairs, which I would do again — it was super cheap. It was so, so fun. Super low stress (thanks, Costco!) and I actually got to have lots of long adult conversations because the kids were so happy with the bounce house and other outdoor games. The weather was perfect. Thanks to everyone for all the hosting advice — it was a huge help. If you, like me, have been thinking of hosting a party but are overwhelmed — just do it! It doesn’t have to be perfect for everyone to have an amazing time.
Anonymous says
this made my day!
Waffles says
Great!!!