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My family recently took my son to a theme park that had a mini wave pool and a big splash pad area. They had lockers to rent, but most people just parked their overflowing strollers in the stroller parking area and left them on the honor system. A few people had these waterproof phone pouches around their necks, and to be honest, I was pretty envious. It held their phone and it could also be stuffed with a credit card, cash, or other important cards instead of bringing your whole wallet to the park. I wanted to take cute photos but was also worried about my phone getting wet, and this would solve that problem as well. To be honest, it’s probably the least fashionable item you can wear, but in reality, you’re at a theme park, so to me all fashion bets are off and it is function over form any day. Also, no one is confusing me with a Vogue fashion editor with my baseball cap, Bermuda shorts, and comfort sandals, so I may as well turn into the skid. This pouch is $6.69 at Amazon and is eligible for Prime and free returns. Universal Waterproof Pouch This post contains affiliate links and CorporetteMoms may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!
anon says
I am having a working mom moment today. Next week is the kids’ last week of summer vacation before school starts. I normally take that whole week off to decompress and spend time with them. But work this summer has been a clusterf*ck, and realistically, I can’t take any time off without missing a major deadline. I am so disappointed, to the point that I’m crying in my office. DH is going to take the older one to an out-of-state amusement park Sunday/Monday. I would’ve loved to go, but it’s not in the cards this time. I’m happy that DS will get some special bonding time with just DH. I’m just bummed and resenting my job, big time. I am so tired of sacrificing my time and energy for work.
The higher ed/nonprofit world is not what it’s cracked up to be, sometimes. I have a pile of vacation time that I struggle to use because our staffing is so lean. Perhaps if I’d managed this differently, I wouldn’t be in this situation — like I said, the last three months have been particularly challenging and crappy.
Anon says
I would probably just take the time in your shoes. I’m in higher ed and we’re perpetually understaffed, but the result is that stuff doesn’t get done, not that people don’t use their vacation time. At least in higher ed, it’s super difficult to get fired and you’d have to do way more than just take a week of PTO at an inconvenient time.
Anonymous says
I’m sorry this happened, and hope you can find at least a few hours to get away next week. Please don’t blame yourself for not managing this to a better outcome, it sounds like it was beyond your control.
Gently, though: take your vacation time! It is your management’s job to make sure the work gets done. If staffing is perpetually too lean for people to take vacation, they’re doing it wrong. Deadlines and busy, all-hands-on-deck periods happen, but they can’t be constant. The work will be there when you get back, and sometimes you need to take time for you and your family.
Callie says
I feel so sympathetic to this b/c I’m a government attorney and I feel like this so often. I know I should “just take the time” (especially when I look at what we’re paid compared to private sector or law firms) but it is really hard when I know that stuff doesn’t get done and I feel like it reflects poorly on me.
anon says
Yes, this. Senior management knows we’re overworked; they do not care. I have flat-out told my immediate boss that I’m worn out and nearing burnout — she makes sympathetic noises, but nothing actually changes. Our staffing levels haven’t budged in years even though we keep taking on more projects. Just “not doing the work” isn’t really an option. I am looking for a new position, but it’s rough out there.
Anonymous says
I hear you, and this is not your fault. But what happens if you request leave? Your manager either has to approve it or document a reason for declining, right? One of my peers manages a department that is far more overworked than mine, and left nearly 2 weeks of use-or-lose leave on the table last year. He rightly complains about it, but he also didn’t actually request to take the leave. He just looked at his pile of work and decided not to even try. I do think there is value in forcing your management to put it in writing that staffing shortages mean you can’t use the benefits to which you are entitled.
anon says
That’s a fair point. Last summer I did a much better job of holding boundaries; I definitely haven’t this year. I will be spending some time this weekend figuring out how to recalibrate my fall schedule.
Anon says
I’ve said this before but it’s an extra layer of suck when you are an attorney so you have personal ethical duties to your clients too. It is one thing to say it is management’s problem but it is my license on the line if stuff doesn’t get done.
Anon says
Ugh I feel you. Not in higher ed, but in my world it’s been crazy since the beginning of last year and I’ve forgone so much vacation and time at home. This summer I hit a breaking point and decided I can’t let work take so much of my time and energy. I’m reworking our budget to give us more flexibility, looking for next steps in my career (DH is as well), and in the meantime prioritizing my wants.
For me, that looks like unofficial summer hours, working from home, taking long weekends where I truly unplug, and communicating early that I won’t meet deadlines. For example – I’m leaving at noon today to host an end-of-summer bash tonight for my kids’ friends and their families. It’s a small item, but I’m an extrovert so I’ve looked forward to a house full of people all week.
I repeat to myself often – I don’t work in a hospital, this isn’t life or death. If a powerpoint gets done a day later than hoped, or if a project is based on only 95% information, it’s not actually a Bad Thing. Too often, work makes us feel like everything must be perfectly researched and perfectly executed, when in reality the people making decisions based on this work aren’t perfect. I have to step back and get perspective.
anon says
Thank you — it helps to hear from those who have been there. I hope you have a wonderful party tonight!
anon says
what kind of department in higher ed are you in? i also work in higher ed and cannot really imagine this happening in my department, though i have a good boss, which i realize makes me very lucky
anon says
Mid-level manager in administration. Would rather not be more specific than that. The mid-levels, I’m finding, are the People Who Make Sure Sh!t Actually Gets Done and the office follows through on its promises made to the faculty and others. We’re far less protected, politically, than regular employees, while simultaneously being far less privileged than the senior admins who come and go as they please. Have seriously considered asking for a demotion.
Anonymous says
We are taking our first trip as a family of 4. I have a 4-year-old and a 3-month-old on a 5-hour flight. Gimme all your best travel tips, especially for flying with a lap infant, as I didn’t do this with big sister until she was older.
Anonymous says
3-month-olds are so easy on flights! My #1 suggestion would be to baby-wear from when you park all the way through the airport, rather than trying to get baby out of a carseat/stroller at security. I’ve also had good luck with baby-wearing on the plane if they’re sleeping, though you’ll have to take the carrier off for takeoff/landing.
Anonymous says
+ 1 million to the baby wearing. You will have to ‘remove’ for take off and landing but flight attendants have generally been fine with I left the waist belt on myself, slipped my arms out of the straps/undid the buckles so basically I was holding baby instead of the straps, then DH could easily help me slip my arms back in/buckle up once in the air.
On the off chance you are flying international – if you are flying out of Europe on return, don’t be surprised when they hand you a mandatory baby seat belt that buckles to your belt. EU rules for lap babies are different.
Don’t hesitate to get up and walk either kid up and down the aisle for a break.
itlady says
Interesting, I’ve flown three times with my daughter (once at 6 months, 12 months, then at 18) and I’m pretty sure all of the flights she was in her carrier at least one of the take offs or landings. Never got asked by the flight attendants to take her out. I wonder if its just certain carriers or certain attendants? We fly Southwest.
Anonymous says
It’s technically an FAA rule, but inforced inconsistently, as far as I can tell. We flew Southwest a dozen times with lap infants under 1 and got asked to at least take the straps off the carrier every single time.
Buddy Holly says
Get a seat for the infant and bring the carseat. It is strongly FAA recommended and so much safer. Even the snacks are locked down at take-off, but not the babies! I realize others can disagree and it is each family’s choice, but I think the safety risk often gets downplayed just because the airlines want to keep allowing lap infants.
Anonymous says
It’s also a lot easier (once you’re on the plane), in my opinion. If money is not an issue, I would put the baby in his/her own seat.
With that said, I flew with a lap baby <6 months a couple times and found it to be the easiest age for air travel. +1 for babywearing through the airport and on the plane except during takeoff and landing. I recommend feeding the baby during takeoff – it will help with the pressure change.
OP says
We tried to get her a seat, as I totally agree with you. But this trip was booked before she was born and, as it turns out, you cannot buy a seat for someone who does not yet have a name or a birthdate. And now the seats by us have been sold, so….lap infant it is. :(
Anonymous says
I suspect that as long as you have a ticket for her they have to rearrange seats to get you next to her, unless this is the discount United flights or something.
SC says
The airline does not have to rearrange seats for a family. I checked a couple of airline policies just now, and they say they try/do their best to seat families together and suggest calling ahead of time–so OP, if you still want a seat for your infant, I’d try calling the airline and seeing what they can do.
I flew with my kid at around 4 months, and it was the easiest flight I’ve taken with him.
FVNC says
Friend question ahead. My family recently relocated to a new city, where we’ll be for a year while husband completes a short work assignment. I left some really great friendships in my old city and I just don’t feel like putting in the effort to find new friends since we’ll be here such a short time. But that seems like a bad idea and a great way to feel lonely and isolated pretty quickly. What would you do? I guess I’m hoping I click with some parents at my daughter’s school, or with some neighbors so I can have a few social outlets but…what if that doesn’t happen? For various reasons we live ~1 hr from husband’s work, so socializing with his colleagues isn’t realistic. I’m not sure what I’m asking; I feel like I’m in this weird limbo!
Anon says
This is really hard. My DH is a pilot which often involves trailing spouses/ family. (I refuse to follow him so he has to commute to work halfway across the country, which has its own set of difficulties.) A few things I’ve found, that may or may not apply.
1) For this year at least, lean into being “husband’s wife”. See if there are FB groups for spouses of his profession, as they often have meetups and it can be a good way to meet others in a similar situation.
2) Also lean into long-term tourist mode. Make a list of the fun items that area is known for, and make sure you do them through the year. Eat the local food, travel to the local “big city” or “short drive vacation”, hit all the museums and parks no matter how small. Also see if there are any festivals or parades and make sure you attend all of them.
3) Look for a park district or library that holds community events. Sign the kids up for swimming or baseball or music. You’ll see similar parents between there and school, so find a way to call that out. “Oh hey! I feel like I’ve seen you at Jefferson School too – are you guys in this karate class?”
4) Think hard about where you’ll go after this move. Are you going back to your current town? Or a third place? How often do you expect these projects to pop up? If back to your current town, find ways to stay connected with your friends there. But if you’re going to keep moving, look at this as a way to practice making friends, with people who you won’t have to see forever if you’re awkward, so you can be better at it in the next place.
GCA says
+1 This is fantastic advice. I’m an academic spouse; DH’s next step if he doesn’t go into industry is either a postdoc in academia or a contract technical position in a federal agency. (So much location uncertainty!) Are you taking a break from your own work, or continuing to work remotely? Each can be hard in its own way, but each has an upside – the first can be accompanied by a sense of losing your work identity, but you have more time and flexibility to really engage with people in real life. The second maintains work relationships, which is nice, but leaves you very little time to hang out.
– Find other families in the same position. For instance, we know many trailing families accompanying one spouse doing a PhD/ MBA. Many people are also here for a Master’s. A year isn’t that short! Being able to meet up and exchange tips / have playdates with other families in the same situation has helped a lot.
– Wherever we go, I usually try and find some sort of running group, whether that’s a neighbor down the street or a group that meets up to train at a local park or track – I usually find a few people I click with that way.
– Or, you can always start something. Invite people over for a pool day or board games or a book club or wine tasting. (I know, more emotional labor.) This past winter we started a monthly family boardgame day and at one point we had five families and eight kids running around (some of whom were too young to play, so we had a couple of adults to occupy them/ keep them from eating the pieces).
Anonymous says
Do you have any hobbies you can use as a meet-up opportunity? Meetup dot com has something for everyone: Hiking, book clubs, dance, music, game nights and on and on. Sports and fitness classes can also be good ways to find new friends — group tennis lessons, fitness classes, rec teams, “trade a belay” board in a rock climbing gym, etc.
Anonymous says
This. Sign up for something unrelated to your hubby or kids so you keep your sense of self.
IHeartBacon says
I second the Meetup dot com recommendation. Every time I’ve moved I used it to find a new local book club
FVNC says
Thanks for the suggestion. The last time I used meetup was like 10 year ago to find a jogging group; I don’t know why it didn’t occur to me to try it again! And these days, a book club is much more my speed than running :-)
Anonymous says
Look for an MRTT (Moms RUN This Town) group in your new city, if you’re not totally over running! Great way to meet other moms, and there are always new people floating in and out of my chapter because of job transfers, etc.
FVNC says
Thanks for the great suggestions!
AwayEmily says
Eh — depends on how much you require social interaction. For me, I would probably not bother making new friends. I find the first year or so of friendship to be the hardest part and basically something you “get through” in order to get to the awesome part down the road. I would try to take a weekend every other month to fly/drive to see already-existing friends, and use the extra time where I’m not socializing to do something for myself (taking up a sport, reading, working on a project). But again, if you’re someone who really thrives on socializing then the suggestions above sound great.
Anonymous says
Same. I don’t think a year is long enough to develop meaningful connections with people and so I would focus on calling and visiting existing friends and keeping those (hopefully lifelong) friendships strong, rather than on hanging out with people you only know on a superficial level and will probably never see again after you move. But I’m an introvert who is pretty content to just hang out with family and chat with long-distance friends on the phone.
Anon says
I have a new walker. She still rides in a stroller a lot (of course) and when she does she frequently sticks her shoes in her mouth or licks the soles, which are black from all the gross floors she walks on. I think it’s the grossest thing ever. Is this just something kids just do? Or is there a way to get her to stop? Telling her not to do it seems to make her more interested in it.
Anonymous says
pass her something else to hold onto/chew on/play with.
Minnie says
My own habit is to take my son’s shoes off when I put him in the stroller. If I don’t, he will either a) lick them or b) throw them off anyway.
Anon says
Thanks. That’s sort of what we’ve been doing but she’s in a phase where she constantly wants to get out of the stroller and practice walking, so it’s a lot of on and off. Hopefully when she gets more comfortable moving around on her feet she won’t be yelling WALK every 30 seconds.
Anonymous says
I had to take my daughter’s shoes off whenever she wasn’t walking because she would put them in her mouth. I would carry her out to the car with no shoes and only put them on when it was time for her to walk. Once she could walk she pretty much refused to ride in the stroller anyway, so there wasn’t too much on and off with the shoes.
Lana Del Raygun says
You gotta eat a peck of dirt before you die.
Anonymous says
Love. My grandma and mom always used to say this. When I was in elementary school, I started wondering… if I make sure not to eat a peck of dirt, will I never die? Or, does that last bite to equal a peck of dirt mean that poof, I’ll die instantly? Or is it just #goal? (except I obviously didn’t think in hashtags as a kid.)
Anonymous says
Totally agree with this statement. Though there are different types of dirt!! We have no qualms if our 4 YO eats things off the floor/not washes his hands/licks the ground while at my in-laws house (small town). Or even at our friends’ houses in the suburbs. But we live in an urban neighborhood and all three of us has a public transit commute every day (kiddo is an expert train and bus rider!).
“City dirt,” aka grime, is in a whole other disgusting category from regular “dirt”…oh the things we’ve seen on downtown sidewalks and on transit! O_0
We all take off our commute shoes and wash our hands the moment we step in the house. It definitely was tricky to keep my son from licking/touching everything on transit when he was a toddler. He survived (albeit a few more colds/coughs?) but still gross to think about.
Anon lunch says
Does my 2 year old need a lunchbag to hold her planetbox lunch box or can it just go in her backpack? Where do I put utensils, just loose in her backpack?
Do you send milk and water in two seperate cups to preschool at this age? She likes milk before her nap but I like the idea of her drinking milk if she doesn’t eat much lunch.
Anonymous says
I love the PB Kids utensils that come with a carrying case. The idea of putting utensils loose in the lunch box, let alone the backpack, grosses me out.
AwayEmily says
Our daycare provides utensils. They also take care of putting milk/water in cups, and washing them in between if necessary. Maybe ask to see if you need to bring either?
shortperson says
we love the planetbox lunch bags and ice packs. they work together well.
Anon says
I love these pouches – I’ve used them for years. Great for wet toddler hands during pool break time, keeping sand out of all the crevices on the phone at the beach, and generally not worrying about tossing wet things in my beach or pool bag. I use a gallon ziploc bag for the same purpose to protect my kindle at the pool and beach, and it’s not nearly as clear, durable, or touch friendly (but it does the trick, so c’est la vie).
Anon says
I used them pre-kid to use my iPhone while snorkeling.
City or not says
We are going back and forth on the city and suburbs debate. I have an 18 month old, where schools obviously better outside the city with more space, but schools within city are not awful, not great. I do a reverse commute, partner works in the city but still not an easy commute for either of us. I haven’t taken advantage of the museums, etc as much as I would have liked but see myself going even less if we move out. I don’t like driving especially with the baby, but I also don’t want the baby (and any future babies) to just live in 800 square feet. We moved a lot so I want our next move to stick for a long time (either slightly bigger apt in city or small suburb house).
What factors did you consider when making this decision? Anyone increase their driving confidence after moving out? Is the extra space totally needed as they get older?
Anonymous says
So several thoughts.
1- you must learn how to be a confident driver and cannot let fear of that control your decision making. Absolutely if you start driving all the time you will get more confident quickly! I just don’t think this should be a factor at all.
2- no need to rush! School is years away
3- any time you think you need more space, spend a weekend intensely decluttering and organizing. Often you don’t need the space as much as you think you do.
4- moving doesn’t change who you are. If you want to get out more, start doing it. There are loads of fun weekend opportunities in the suburbs as well (farms! Hikes! Parks! Libraries!)
AwayEmily says
“Moving doesn’t change who you are” is such a great point. Think of what you love to do as a family (not what you wish you did but what you actually do) and prioritize that. One of the reasons we opted to stay in a city when we recently moved is because we love, love, love being able to walk to stuff with our kids. Almost every night we set out — with stroller, wagon, or scooters — to a park or to get ice cream or even just to the store. In a lot of the suburbs we looked at, this wasn’t possible. So for us it was less “city or suburb” and more “are we in walking distance to lots of fun things,” and where we live the suburbs just don’t have that (though many suburbs do!). Anyway, you might love something different (cooking as a family, playing sports outside, going to museums) but it’s worth thinking about what kinds of activities you do and how those are easier/harder in a city vs suburb.
Anonymous says
I think this depends on location and what the city and suburbs are like. Personally, my family went with the suburbs because city life just seems harder. Especially with kids. And good schools were a big priority for us as well.
We lived in the city pre-kids and LOVED it. But priorities have shifted, and I now love living my suburban life. We’re only about 30/45 minutes outside the city, so we still go in on weekends for museums or sometimes just to get brunch in our old neighborhood.
Boston Legal Eagle says
For us, size and what you get for your money, won out and we’re moving to the suburbs shortly. Our circumstances are a little different than yours in that we’re not in the main city now but in a very close-in suburb that has a lot of city amenities while still having excellent schools. However, that comes at a very steep price point and we would have to live somewhere pretty small without amenities (i.e. no central air, no parking) vs. being able to afford a SFH in the suburbs.
Commute is a big deal for me, and I’m basically going to double mine, but I’ll still have public transit available as I think having to drive 1hr+ in rush hour would be a deal breaker for me. Husband’s commute will be about the same, as he’s going to a place in the middle of where we are now and where we’re moving. Down the road, we’ll probably explore work options closer to home, so having that available is definitely a consideration.
In terms of being able to get out, I agree that there are lots of options in the suburbs too, and there might be more of a community feel as there are generally fewer people going to the same events than in the big cities. We’re probably more on the homebody side of things though, and will likely take more advantage of our yard than the local parks that we have now (which we still frequent now, but not during the weekdays usually).
Kids don’t need a bunch of space and people make it work with lots of kids in tiny spaces, like in NYC, but I think that bigger spaces are a little easier the more kids you have. So if you’re thinking just one, I think it’s a lot more doable to live closer in, in a smaller space, than with multiple kids. If we had one, I could see us staying in our current city longer and getting a small condo, but we’re feeling a little cramped with the 4 of us.
I won’t say I’m totally sold on the full suburbia life but I’m willing to give it a try and try to enjoy my bigger space!
Nan says
Anyone else seen the HGTV show City v Burbs? It’s on YouTube TV. There are only a few episodes but I love watching people make this decision because it is a really hard one!
GCA says
Keep in mind that your needs may shift as kid gets older. Science museum with a young toddler who has the attention span of a gerbil? More agony than delight. Science museum with an inquisitive 4-year-old or an enthusiastic 7-year-old obsessed with space? Amazing.
Also, consider testing the commute. A move slightly further out but with ready access to commuter rail can be more convenient than living closer to the city but having to take two buses and the subway to the office.
I feel you on driving. I hate driving in the city, but quieter suburbs are OK.
ElisaR says
we wound up moving out of the city as soon as I got pregnant because I knew that we would want visitors and that was simply not possible in our city. No parking at all, and visitors would be far less likely to come stay because we did not have a guestroom (meaning grandparents). Also, I was reverse commuting to the burbs and it made more sense for me to be close to work.
But if those things aren’t weighing in, I say enjoy the city as long as you can! Maybe forever! Kids don’t need much besides loving capable parents.
CCLA says
Huge echo on the moving doesn’t change who you are. The burbs are the answer for a lot of people, but they were not for us. In case this anecdote is helpful for you, we moved out of the city a year or so ago and really didn’t like it. We had so much more space, I even had a shorter commute since I work outside the city, but with the two of us working ~50 hours a week and our habit of going to the beach or park every weekend morning, we were almost never there in the house. It felt like a waste of space and just inefficient to keep it all clean and cooled/heated. We also had to drive everywhere. I do not like driving with kids, not because I am scared, but because I find it a PITA to load and unload. I can see the burbs with a yard being better with older kids who are less of a pain to load into the car and who can enjoy the yard unsupervised (ours were about 6 mos and 2.5 at the time), though I don’t see us going back. Thankfully, we had rented with the goal of trying it out. When that year was up, we moved back to our old neighborhood in the city into half the square footage a few months ago, and are so much happier.
Op says
I really like this idea of testing it out! As we are not in a rush maybe this would be the best way to decide. I also think moving would result in a shorter commute for me but I also will be able to wfh more in the future so it might not matter in the end. Thanks for your (and everyone’s) input!
Anon says
Just to help with one of your questions: do you need more space as they get older. What is your bathroom situation like?
We also live in a smallish place in an urban environment. We generally love it, our kids share a room well… but we only have one bathroom & with 4 bathroom users now that will probably be the ultimate first thing that pushes out of our current space. (We could potentially still stay in the urban environment & upgrade to a house with 2 bathrooms, or maybe at that point the burbs will be the cheaper & easier thing to do, we’ll see).
Storage is also a thing to think about (which we actually do have). Place to store the bike, scooter, etc.?
Legally Brunette says
I have so many thoughts on this, having just made this move myself. I have lived in the city for 10 + years with a 4 and 6 year old. We just moved across the country and are technically in a city but it feels much more suburban.
1. Driving — I was petrified to drive in the city with my kids. I have since gone from driving once a year to driving the kids every day. Just do it. If you feel you need it, take a 2-4 hour driving refresher course where you drive through the city. Part of my fear of city driving was that we have a big SUV — we have since downsized to a wagon and I feel so much more comfortable. I don’t know what car you drive but I have found that in the city, a smaller car is better.
2. I loved living in the city with kids. Our place was a lot larger than yours though, so there’s that. But I loved walking the kids to school, the library, the grocery store, etc. Now that we are in a suburban area, there is so much less walking. I do miss that a lot.
3. Your child is so young that you don’t need to worry about schools for a while. If I were you, I would stay where you are and then reconsider in a few years. And be proactive about doing fun city things while you are still there — I know it’s hard, but if you make a commitment and put it on the calendar, you will do it. It requires planning but you’ll be so happy you did it.
Legally Brunette says
I forgot to mention a big one — your commute. The people I know who are most unhappy with the burbs are dealing with a significantly longer commute because that means less time with kids, and less time at home generally. I personally hate driving/long commutes so this would be a big consideration for me. Fortunately for me, our city suburb is close to where I work so it’s a non-issue, but most people moving to the burbs deal with longer commutes than city dwellers.
Anonymous says
We moved from apartment living in DC to a house in a very close-in suburb (as in less than a mile walk to the city line) because we really wanted a yard/garden/more green space/fewer roaches (all dc apartment buildings that I’m aware of have roaches). We also could not afford a bigger apartment (had a 1 bedroom and wanted kids) without dipping into savings – which we were ok using for a down payment. I ended up regretting the move because my commute doubled (had been a mile walk; was now mile walk plus 25 min metro ride as the fastest option unless I wanted to bike, and that 25 min was often longer)— once we actually had kids I could not continue my previous work schedule if I wanted to see them at all on a work day. Plus getting from where we lived to where any of our old friends lived (in dc or other suburbs) took FOREVER and required driving. We could walk to a few places within a mile and more within 2 miles, but didn’t have time to walk places that were 2 miles away with kids who had nap schedules. I didn’t think about how the inconvenience would add up and was pretty unhappy where we were living and felt very isolated. Traffic was s big part of that – yes we could drive places instead of walking, but it still took forever.
Ultimately moved to a different city altogether, where we live inside the city in a more suburban type area – very green, lots of parks etc — but two things make a big difference: (1) much better traffic patterns on general city streets and (2) we can walk to a TON of things — close to two business districts with a lot of restaurants, shops, banks, etc, about 8 playgrounds within a mile, also a lot of bus lines for when the kids are older. The city is bigger but it never takes more than 25 min to get anywhere in the whole city.
Amelia bedelia says
Can I ask where you moved? It seems like a unicorn city and I want that!
Anonymous says
West coast!
I'm Way Over Thinking This says
I have a similar lunch box question to the one above, slightly different. I really like the idea of a bentobox lunch container for my kindergartner (environment, I think may be higher likelihood he eats the stuff if he doesn’t have to open a baggie for each thing, etc.). I gather he needs a lunch bag to put the bento box in for carrying around, & I found a seemingly good system at Target. BUT I find it seems in most cases the bento box takes up all of the lunch bag space. Can I just put his water bottle separately in his backpack and rely on him to carry both to lunch, or however they do that? Or will that be a significant issue that the drink and the food are not in one easy to carry around case? What do bento box folks do? Thanks!
Anonymous says
That wouldn’t work in my school- all lunches go into a bin at the start of the day that gets brought to the cafeteria
anon says
Could you connect them by a carabiner? Would that be sufficient?
OP says
That’s a potentially good idea? Thanks.
OP says
Could the lunch & the water both go in the bin?
anon says
We always include the water bottle separately. The kids often bring water to the playground in hot weather, so it wouldn’t stay in the lunchbox anyways. She just carries both her lunchbox and water bottle to lunch.
shortperson says
i swear that they do not pay me, but the planetbox lunchbox has an external waterbottle pocket.
Anon says
Thank you for the suggestion. It does look perfect… but OMG, the $$$$. All in close to $90 for the bento, bag & water bottle? Okay, maybe I don’t need the water bottle, but at that point might as well. Is it worth it???? How old are your kids/how long does it last?
Hoping to make my cheapy Target one work, ha ha.
shortperson says
we’ve had ours for 4 years and it is still in great shape. our klean kanteens fit in the pocket, we do not have the planetbox bottle so i can’t speak to its value. i love that it’s metal and can go in the dishwasher (personally i do not put plastic in the dishwasher and i try to avoid having my kids eat off of plastic). they have a 25% off sale right now.
OP says
Okay, I’m convinced. Was chatting with another veteran Kindergarten mom today who was also singing the planet box praises. Just ordered! My husband gets updates on his phone when we place orders on our our joint card and he just yelled from the kitchen “this lunch box is how much??!?!” Lol …we’ll just concentrate on the cost per use….
Thank you!
Ms B says
Putting in a plug for the Bentgo + Pottery Barn MacKenzie lunch bag, which has an external pocket for the water bottle.
For bev, my recommendation is NOT to buy at PB water bottle (the darn things leak). Our best bet has been a metal water bottle that MIL got from the World Wildlife Fund with a simple twist top that The Kid knows how to take on and off, but we also have been able to fit juice boxes or Capri Suns into the front pocket of the lunch bag and sometimes The Kid gets milk cartons at school.
If cost is concerning you, my totally not neat and tidy kid is entering second grade with the same Bentgo and lunch bag since kindy and it all looks just fine (not pristine, but fine for school).
Cradle Cap says
I posted earlier this week about my 3 year old’s cradle cap. Someone mentioned Babyganics Cradle Cap Cleanser, and several mentioned special combs (very close together teeth). Update: I used these together last night & made significant progress! I think I may need to do a second round, but a lot came off! Thank you all!
Anonymous says
I can get all of it off with an olive oil rub, let it sit in, the brush with my regular goody plastic bristle hairbrush, then wash 2-3x to get oil out. But… it comes back!
Tryingnottobefrumpyintheburbs says
Anonymous, you may actually need to use an anti fungal to get rid of it entirely then. Sorry, it is so frustrating!!
Tryingnottobefrumpyintheburbs says
I think I was the one who recommended Babyganics!! I’m so glad it helped! That with a brush got rid of it after a few weeks which was amazing since it has been there for YEARS!
DLC says
About to embark on a 13 hr road trip with a 7 year old and a 2.5 yr old and thought I’d ask:
1) What are your favorite road trip snacks- both for grown ups and kids? Mine are gummy worms, Coke, and salt and vinegar chips, but I feel like I should give my kids other/ healthier options. We are planning on bringing a cooler.
2) what non-screen things keep your kids entertained in the car? The 7 year old loves audiobooks, but I imagine that the grown ups will want a break from “How to Train your Dragon” so we’ll need to give her something to amuse herself while we listen to Daddy Music. Not sure how to keep the 2.5 year entertained.
Anonymous says
Are you trying to do this in one day?
Anonymous says
Pipe cleaners are working well with my 4 year old – can occupy a good 30 min . A map to color in with every state license plate you see could work at 7, although not 2.
Anon says
1) i always say start with fruits and veggies and then bring out the junk as needed. cheese sticks, pirate’s booty, bamba. i’m a quantity eater, so i like blueberries, bc i can eat them as if they are chips, but not feel as gross at the end. popcorn is similar (though not great for your 2.5 year old). it can also be considered fun/entertaining, to wrap a new snack for every half hour of the trip so that unwrapping the snack is part of an activity for the kiddos.
2) my kids are younger, but we recently has a lot of success with magnets and mini white boards, particularly gear magnets and numbers/letters. window clings and painters tape and post it notes. some kind of i-spy bingo game for the older kiddo might be fun. maybe get one of those lap desks. water wows. is there a way for 7 year old to listen to audio books with headphones. Busy Toddler has a lot of good airplane and restaurant ideas, some of which could definitely work in a car.
Anonymous says
Good luck! I’m always surprised how long my kids are entertained by looking out the window, especially if we’re driving through farm country or otherwise unusual scenery. None of my kids can read, but they like to look at picture books. Other distractions: A blanket and a stuffed animal or two, Magnadoodle/etch a sketch/lapboard+art stuff
We usually let the kids each pick one snack at the first rest stop, and they invariably pick some kind of candy.
Otherwise, I typically bring some combination of baby carrots, pretzels/goldfish crackers, blueberries, granola bars, raisins, apples or apple slices, mandarin oranges. Obvs, I have to vacuum the car after a road trip.
My husband and I both like diet coke and in-shell sunflower seeds for long trips, but you have to have something to spit the shells into (gross, sorry).
Emily S. says
If you’re bringing a cooler, you could also bring hummus cups for dipping pretzels, carrot sticks, etc. Raisinets are a good compromise treat in our house, but make sure they get totally eaten and not lost in a car seat crevice/someone’s shorts (ask me how I know.)
The Melissa and Doug water wow pads might work for the 2.5 year old! My 2 year old likes them, but they don’t keep her entertained for a super long time. Crayons/Color Wonder and a lap pad or baking sheet?
I haven’t tested it out yet, but on our next road trip, I’m bringing new Peppa toys for both kids to unwrap and play with in the car. They can play with those for hours, creating whole story lines. Maybe some toys like that? (Barbie, Peppa, My Little Pony, G.I. Joe, whatever flavor they’re into.
From my own childhood, I remember car trips as being a great time to hear about family stories, especially the life my mom and dad lived before I was born. Maybe the 7 year old would be entertained by hearing about life before parenting?
Ms B says
For the 7 year old, the Kanoodle (available on the River Site) is a consistent travel favorite, along with the binder of Pokemon cards, a lap desk with workbooks/puzzle books/coloring books, and some Lego minifigs.
For the little, I second the suggestion of a metal baking sheet with all. the. magnets. Melissa and Doug make lots of sets (the dinos were a big hit at my house). The FP Doodle Pro also got heavy use for years when we traveled.
My favorite road trip snacks are peanut butter M&Ms, Corn Nuts and large iced teas and fountain Coca-Colas. The Hubs likes jerky/Slim Jims. The Kid likes trashy fruit snacks, which we reserve for travel, as well as Pop-Tarts, dried apricots and freeze-dried bananas. Everyone in the family likes to pick something out at a “nice” C store on the way (I am partial to Quik Trips if you are in an area that has them).
SC says
When my kid was 2, he was pretty entertained by looking out the window, talking to us, listening to our music, etc. The world was still new and novel to him, and that held his attention more than specific activities. Also, he napped, which was great.
For the 7 year old, could this be a good time for her to use a phone and some earbuds/headphones to listen to audiobooks? 7 is also a good age for classic road trip games and puzzle/activity books, and maybe mad libs.
For our last long road trip, I packed a giant bag of activities–baking sheet with magnets, coloring books, squigz, pipecleaners, scratch art, books, etc. I picked 2 things for Kiddo on the first leg, and every time we stopped (every 2 hours or so), I let him switch those out for 2 new ones. That kept things fresh and prevented him from spending 10 minutes on each thing and being “done” with all the toys in the first 2 hours.
We bring a few healthy or not-terrible snacks with us–some fruit, peanut butter filled pretzels, carrot sticks, etc. Then we let Kiddo pick out candy at a convenience store once a day.
Dog Walking at Night? says
Just got word that DH and I will be able to take a one weekish trip solo this fall, as my MIL will be here and happily hang with our toddler and pup.
We live in a huge apartment building, and typically our pup needs to go out one last time around 10:30 or 11 PM at night for a 5 minute walk. DH seems to think it’ll be fine if my MIL quickly takes the dog out while DS (about 20 months right now) is asleep while we’re gone. I’ve done this in a pinch when there are no options, but usually if I’m home alone, we ask our neighbors/very close friends to come by and watch the monitor.
Am I being paranoid? I’m happy to throw money at the problem and ask a friend or dog walker to come by later in the evening, but DH seems to think it will be fine since it’s such a quick walk.
AwayEmily says
I would pay someone to come do it (maybe a teenager in the building?). I think objectively your husband is right but I also think that you will end up being worried/stressed on your vacation, which would defeat the purpose!
(FWIW I would also realize that logically it was fine but have the same worry as you)
OP says
Yea exactly – logically it would be fine, but having someone else do it will curb my anxiety (and also, just be safer). Glad I’m not the only one!
Plus, we have options – our dog walker (who is also a friend), friends/neighbors (who we would pay/do something nice for). Plus it would give my MIL a break in case she wanted to go to bed early.
rakma says
Yes, I’d have someone come to do the late night walk. Not only to prevent yourself from worrying, but to take one thing off your MIL’s plate for the week.
ElisaR says
yes, this alone is a good reason to hire someone if you can
Anonymous says
I would 100% not have someone leave the house. If MIL is hurt/injured/dog runs away etc it can easily turn into an hour. Get a dog walker or board the dog.
Anon says
Is your MIL even okay with it? In the incredibly unlikely scenario that something happens, it would probably be her that would be liable.
Anon says
Previously, I would have said it is fine. However, I recently saw a movie or show, can’t remember which (comedy/drama) where mom ran down to the mailbox in an apartment building while baby slept and the fire alarm for the building ended up going off. The elevators wouldn’t work with the alarms going off and staff were holding the doors for all the people coming down and wouldn’t let anyone up. In the show it was someone’s burned popcorn and everything ended up fine but mom was of course freaking out.
While TV isn’t real life, it made me think of a possible issue I hadn’t considered before.
OP says
This is one of the EXACT scenarios I’m worried about.
IHeartBacon says
Yep, and if you think this type of thing doesn’t happen in real life, one day I have to show you the surveillance video in one of my cases where a poor tenant was trapped outside his apt in his underwear because he thought he could make a quick dash to the mailbox and then the fire alarm went off.
Ifiknew says
I want to get away from spoon feeding my 2 year old so much but I’ve noticed that so much of her ta trims are related to hunger and when she feeds herself, she eats a small amount and says she’s done done but if I let her play and offer food while she’s playing, she eats so much more and her behavior is so so much better when she’s eaten better. I don’t want to overfeed her and I’d like her to be more indep ndent for preschool and eat until she’s actually full but torn as to how to best handle
AwayEmily says
When you give her dishes that require spoons, can you also provide finger foods so that she doesn’t end up going hungry but still has a chance to learn? (eg if you are giving her oatmeal, pair it with a banana and a cheese stick).
Pogo says
+1 – we never give our 2yo a spoon-only meal. Every once in awhile he gets just applesauce as a snack but that’s it. He will use his spoon OK, but he’s 50/50 on the fork. Usually he tries (jabbing it at veggies and meat or pasta) and then gives up and picks up the food. I feel like that’s sufficient at 2.
However, I don’t ever spoon or fork anything into his mouth – I just help him load the utensil (if he lets me – usually lots of “No mine!!! No help mommy!” and then frantic screaming when one piece of pasta falls off the fork). What happens if you leave her to her own devices?
Anon says
I like this suggestion. The only spoon-only meal my kiddo gets is yogurt for breakfast sometimes. Everything else is a mix of finger foods and utensil required. We often give her utensils, but then let her eat with her hands. She’s also VERY independent so I am not allowed to help with even loading the utensil unless she’s tried and failed multiple times.
Anon says
My 2 year old is a complete disaster lately. Tons of nos for everything, bedtime and nap time are huge struggles even though she’s so tired. I don’t think it’s anything different but how do you discipline and enforce boundaries with a 2 year old?
lsw says
Repetition. (It’s exhausting.)
shortperson says
follow janet lansbury on facebook. she is really helpful for this.
rakma says
Repetition, calm voice, and an escape route when it gets to be too much. DH and I will take turns with bedtime when it’s been a rough stretch.
Also, I find that these phases are often helped by an unscheduled nap or excessively early bedtime. DD2 fell asleep on the couch at 5pm one day last week, slept through the night (and a middle of the night diaper change!), and was a completely different child the next day.
Anon says
Repetition. We do a lot of 3-2-1-timeout and while we used to never get to timeout, we do much more frequently now. We also do an immediate timeout for things like hitting (for some reason, it’s only ever mama that gets hit, and usually not maliciously, just as part of it’s fun to whack) and throwing or stomping on things (e.g., she took some english muffins I offered her and didn’t want, threw them on the floor and stomped on them last week). And when it’s back to back repeat tantrums across a short period of time, there’s usually something else going on there (e.g., needs motrin for her teeth, needs me to sit and hold her and focus only on her for 10-15 minutes on the floor, is hangry, etc.). As for bedtime, I’m back to rocking her to sleep at night and she sleeps with us if she wakes up (stayed in her own bed for 5 hours last night, woo hoo) – most sleep for the most number of people until these 2 YO molars she’s been working on for 5+ months come in.
Pogo says
Hugs, I’m with you. We’re 7/7 on bedtime screaming for the last week. Started seemingly out of nowhere, but I think it is him learning his independence/trying to assert control/test boundaries. Keeps requesting “one more book” repeat x 100 (feels like) and when we leave him in his crib, screaming begins. I will say it has lessened in volume and length – last night probably less than 2min. But one day for nap it was 45 minutes of howling. Just stay the course – they are looking to you for consistency, and trying out what they can do with their new words and ideas. You know that they’re better off going to bed on time, not surviving on goldfish, and remaining as close to the ground* and as far from sharp objects as possible. It’s your job to reinforce that.
*I have a climber. Roughly 20 min of screaming per day because I will not let him turn everyday objects into a “ladder”.
Anon says
My 2YO is surviving on milk, water, chicken nuggets, corn dogs, goldfish, mac and cheese, yogurt, cheese and yogurt melts. Despite my attempts to offer all sorts of fruit and vegetables every way I can think of, my previously good eater has definitely hit the “white foods only” stage and I’m not yet ready to turn dinner into WWIII. She licked a piece of lettuce the other night and I about fell over.
lsw says
OMG, you are me. I am soooo over this phrase. Literally this weekend was goldfish, pouches/applesauce, fruit snacks, and pizza. He has also recently gotten wise to the zucchini in his scrambled eggs which leaves me at a loss. He randomly chomped one bite of a piece of celery on Friday and I tried to not act like it was the great thing that happened in my life.
lsw says
*phase
Ms B says
Good luck on the climbing. The Kid has been watching too much American Ninja Warrior and now likes to “spider” himself into and up all doorframes and then hang by his fingers from the molding. I expect to find him on the ceiling any day now.
Op says
So helpful thank you guys. I don’t know how to contain my child for a time out she thinks it’s funny and never listens about sitting in one spot? Do your 2 year olds just stay for time out?
Pogo says
I just posted – I don’t do time outs yet (mine just turned two). If he is doing something just gross or annoying, I will ignore and keep my face serious. If it’s dangerous (see above re: climbing) I will remove from the situation and pick him up to snuggle. But I am lucky in that his tantrum recovery method is crying/snuggling, he’s not a flailer or a smacker. He has bitten me once and I put him down, face away from me and held him by the shoulders but just for a half a minute – again, serious, calm voice. It is SO hard not to laugh when they are pushing your buttons and doing stuff like, I don’t know, rubbing yogurt in their hair (this morning) and grinning like HA HA IM BEING NAUGHTY!
Anon says
We used to use the PNP (but she climbed out at 19 months (1.5 months after she climbed out of her crib)). So if we’re downstairs, she goes on the stairs behind the gate (our stairs are gated at the top and bottom). She’s usually too busy howling to bother climbing and her goal is to be with us on the other side of the gate, not up the stairs, so it works. If we’re upstairs, she gets put in her room which is gated, but now that she has figured out how to open the gate sometimes we put her in her room and shut the door (usually try gate first, which she typically doesn’t open because, again, she’s too busy howling). We usually go for 2-3 minutes and then we sit and talk with her until she calms down, repeatedly explaining what she did wrong (typically something along the lines of “mama said no, you didn’t listen and you did XYZ, we don’t do XYZ”) and then give her a hug and kiss and send her on her merry destructive way. Often the threat of time out is effective too “Kiddo, do you want to go to timeout?” Kiddo shakes head no and moves on to something else, but that only works if you’re consistent in implementing timeout when you get there.
SC says
Traditional time outs did not work for us at 2 years old, partly because of this reason–he just got out of the chair, and then the situation became a struggle over the timeout, and by the time we managed to get him to stay in one spot for 2 minutes, he’d completely forgotten the original behavior that landed him in timeout.
Emily S. says
Time out didn’t work for one of our kids for similar reasons/behavior. FWIW, what we did instead was label it a “calm down,” read the book “Calm Down Time” with her and stay with her for a few minutes to talk about what was going on. The book was recommended to us, and it really clicked with her. Once we implemented that method, tantrums and the need for time outs dramatically dropped. Looking back, I think it was about getting to the root of the matter and offering her a solution that helped her instead of shoehorning her into my idea of discipline. I also like that it doesn’t reinforce the idea of solitude as a punishment — I thought of missing out on the fun as punishment, but she saw it as “I don’t want to be alone in my room ever because that’s where I get sent when I’m bad” and at bedtime, she was a prairie dog popping out every minute because she didn’t want to be alone in her room. We also would say things like, “Big feelings are ok but big behavior is not” and redirect her instead of a time out. Now she says an approximation of that to little sister (that’s rich!)
Boston Legal Eagle says
We used his old high chair to strap our son in for time outs. This chair is just used for time outs, time outs are generally for physical misbehavior like hitting. 2 year olds, man, they’re tough. Consistency is key, I think. And it’s ok to cry and have wine after bedtime, at least that’s what I tell myself.
Paging Sticker Charts says
To the poster from the other day looking for sticker/reward chart: saw one in the Dollar Spot at Target during lunch today! They also had some education-based decorations, workbooks, stickers. This was at a City Target location on major west coast downtown FWIW.