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Anonymous says
On outsourcing- those of you that have someone now for you, what do you pay and for what size lawn?
When my kids were babies/I was pregnant we had a lawn service and paid $55/mow (weekly when needed, biweekly when the growth was slower). Our yard hasn’t changed but our lawn tractor recently died and we were debating buying a new one or punting til spring and having a service mow for the next few weeks. It went up to $110/week! More than double over 4-5 years (I think we stopped with the landscapers in 2019).
We ended up just replacing the tractor because we’d be $700+ into a lawn service by the winter.
Our lot is 1 acre but nearly half is woods, and we have a large house and a lot of driveway so there isn’t that much grass. It takes us maybe 30-40 minutes to mow and weed whack- a lawn service does it in 20-30.
Anon says
100×60 yard—about .15 acres in a VHCOL suburb of NYC. $30/week during the season whether they mow or not + extra for fertilizer, trimming, mulching, cleanup, which is very cheap for our town. They finish our lawn in like 5 minutes. We are not winning any landscaping awards here.
Lily says
For a comparably sized yard/amount of time spent, we pay $44/week in suburban Philadelphia (NJ side). I will say that our service will only mow if you hire them for a weekly mow. There is no option to do it less frequently.
anon says
30 to 40 minutes honestly doesn’t sound that bad. I personally don’t think a lawn mowing service would be worth it but your personal calculus might be different. I will say, though, that I have zero regrets outsourcing the lawn fertilizing. Cost wise, it’s about the same as doing it on our own, and they can actually time things correctly, which is hard to do when you’re not home all day.
Anonymous says
OP here- we don’t outsource this (though we did at a different phase of life) ; that wasn’t really my question :)
Anon says
We had a service when my youngest was a baby a couple years ago. It was about $75/now for 3 acres, though half is wooded. Took two people about an hour each time. Suburban Philadelphia.
Spirograph says
yikes, I would not pay $110 for lawn service! We have a small yard and paid $25/week for years until the price went up last year to $30 for mowing and edging, mulch and spring/fall “clean-up” was charged separately. This year, my oldest was tasked with mowing (and I edge every few weeks). It takes him about 30 min with an electric push mower.
Anonymous says
We pay $40 bi-monthly for mowing (less than 5 minutes), leaf blowing/mulching and removal of debris from around trees (30 minutes). It’s 13,800 square foot lot with 3500 sq foot house. The majority of the yard is in the back (pool), which the lawn crew doesn’t touch. We are also are not winning landscaping awards: he regularly scalps the lawn despite reminders that we’re in a drought and he needs to cut it much, much higher. But it’s worth it not to have to mess with it.
anon says
We pay $65 bi-monthly for what sounds like a similar lot, ~1 acre but mostly trees and woods, they only mow the backyard, our front is all trees.
PLB says
Am I getting ripped off? I pay $90 monthly for biweekly lawn service. :-/
Anonymous says
$45/mow? Probably not. Depends on your area and average and how much work is involved.
Anon says
Can we do an updated roundup of what people are paying for daycare, especially infant care? If you could say the monthly cost and type of place, if it includes anything extra, and the city/region where you’re located, I think it would be very interesting. I’m curious if rates have gone up dramatically with the national childcare shortage and inflation.
We are about to secure this place for our first: $2350 per month for infant at a center, San Francisco Bay Area, extra annual fees of a couple hundred dollars for supplies. We have to provide prefilled bottles and food for the first year but can switch to paying an extra $150 a month for meals once the baby turns one.
Anon says
$4250 for infants at our daycare, Boston, chain center. 10 hours a day, no random closures aside from very mainstream holidays, snacks are provided for older kids, lunches/bottles supplied by families. Re:inflation, price went up a lot between 2021-22 but hasn’t in over a year (knock on wood).
Boston Legal Eagle says
$4,250 for one infant?! Or is this for two kids. We’re also in the Boston suburbs, have a Pre-Ker but it looks like the monthly infant rate at the max 11 hours is about $2,750/mo. For babies, parents supply the food I think, but otherwise they provide all food for the bigger kids. Our current rate is about $2,100/mo. Aftercare for our older kid is $230/mo.! But, camps, etc.
Anon says
Sadly, yes, that’s for one infant. I’ve heard anecdotally that its the most expensive location for our national chain, and we are definitely paying more than friends in Silicon Valley in the same chain so I guess I believe it?
Boston Legal Eagle says
Seaport? That is the main new dev area I can think of that could be this high. Even Cambridge is lower than Seaport at this point.
anon says
Back Bay Bright Horizons is $$$$$$$$$
GCA says
oof. $2,300 is what we paid eight years ago for one infant at a big chain center in Cambridge, MA, so I’d expect somewhere in the upper 3K range now, allowing for inflation and pandemic fee increases.
TheElms says
Bright Horizons in downtown DC is also $$$$. In 2019 we paid $2800ish for infant care WITH a corporate discount. I think the full rate was $2950 but that did get us 11.5 hours. I can only assume its a lot more now.
Anona says
$2,314 for the infant room in a near in DC suburb, although that will go up 8% this fall with a tuition increase. We provide food and diapers/wipes. This was the least expensive option we found for a daycare center, and we love that it’s within walking distance of our home. We could have found an in-home day care for less, but we are more comfortable with the center structure and we would have had to drive the opposite direction of our commute.
In the toddler room tuition stays the same, but we can pay $90 a month for meals (2 snacks, lunch, milk) provided.
AwayEmily says
We are in a LCOL eastern city (think eastern Rust Belt). University daycare with a sliding tuition scale based on income. We are at the top of the scale and it’s $1412 a month for infant care (8-5:30). If you’re at the bottom tier (e.g. grad students) it’s $732 per month. There are no extra fees. Kids bring their own lunches but the school provides AM and PM snacks.
When we lived in Boston childcare was over $2k a month. Moving here is what enabled us to afford a third kid.
AwayEmily says
And I will add that the low cost isn’t just because it’s university-subsidized. Child care here is just much cheaper than elsewhere. Before they got into the university daycare they attended the JCC, and there infant care is $1530 a month for slightly longer hours (7am – 6pm).
Anon says
We paid $1,800 per month for infant-toddler in a very LCOL Midwest city a few years ago. It included food. To be fair, this was the most expensive option in our area (university daycare), but I’ve found that childcare doesn’t scale anywhere near as much as housing (we moved here from the Bay Area and housing here is probably 10-20 times cheaper). Our daycare didn’t raise rates very much – I think we had one raise in four years and it was small – but Covid may have been a factor in that.
TheElms says
$2715 per month for under 12 months; $2575 per month for 12-24 months at a non-chain center in DC. 10 hours a day. Closed federal holidays and about 10 additional professional development days. Have to send prefilled bottles and all food. (We looked briefly at the center near my older child’s school, when trying to decide whether to keep our nanny for this school year and that’s what we ended up doing.)
Anonymous says
It was $2350 last year for infants at our center in close-in DC suburbs. Goes down to $1900 for age 2, $1600 for age 3-5 (includes lunch and snack, but not diapers).
$$$ says
$1735 per month for an infant, mid cost of living area (used to be considered LCOL). With three kiddos in care, we pay almost $4400/month.
$$$ says
We bring bottles, diapers, food, etc.
Anonymous says
I don’t have infants anymore so I’m not sure what those costs are here. But in the Houston suburbs I pay $1100/month per toddler (I have two) for 9AM-3PM. I provide all food. There are also annual supply fees of a few hundred dollars per child. Our nanny just quit so I’m currently looking for an after school nanny and advertising $25/hour for that post, so total child care cost is higher.
Anonymous says
There’s an article about soaring child care costs in NYC in the Times today:
https://www.nytimes.com/2023/09/11/nyregion/child-care-nyc.html
It definitely sounds much more expensive than we paid 10 years ago, although even then there was a wide range. And I have noticed that costs for summer camp/afterschool programs have increased a LOT in the last couple years. A week of day camp–only 9-3, not even aftercare–was like $700-800 this year.
Anon says
Wowza that’s a lot for camp. We pay $150 (including extended care) at the parks and rec camp in our small Midwest city, which I knew was a good deal, but we’ve done fancier camps in Chicago for ~$300-400. $700-800 for day camp is insane to me, that’s like sleepaway camp prices in the Midwest!
Anon says
1000 per month for infants/toddlers in southeastern Connecticut at an NYAEC accredited center. We pay full tuition but most families are on sliding scale/pay less as it’s a lower income area. Daycare provides snacks/milk we send meals.
An.On. says
About $1,100/month for LCOL midwest. When our kid moved from the infant room to the toddler room this year, I asked if the rate would go down, but was told that all the rates have gone up so we would be paying more even though toddlers are cheaper but we’re grandfathered in at the infant rate. We brought our own bottles, but tuition includes meals when the kids are on solid foods. We also supply diapers, clothes, wipes, but not sheets, cots, blankets, etc.
Anonymous says
Mercifully I am out of this game but it’s $3100 for full time infant in suburban Boston. I paid $2400 for 8-4 (vs 8-6 @ $2700) several years ago.
Anon says
$2400/month. Nyc suburb. NAYEC accredited etc etc. drops to $1900 once they enter preschool (3s). Food included (I don’t love the food but it’s better than me packing a lunch).
Greatest thing is that they are only off on federal holidays and closed only two extra days during the summer.
anon says
Infant $1870 month in MCOL SEUS – includes food and wipes. You bring prepared bottles and diapers. When kid transitions to food they supply lunch, milk, AM and PM snack.
Preschooler is ~$1500 inlcludes all food, snacks, etc – we don’t even send a water bottle.
This is well-known center-based care (think Bright Horizons, Goddard, Primrose) open 7:30-5:30.
NLD in NYC says
$1540 per month. Home based care, meals provided 7:30-6pm. In an outerborough of NYC (read: not Manhattan).
Anon says
Twin cites. $1,850 mo, you can bring BM or they provide formula. Provide all meals at no extra cost once kids eat food. I thought this was expensive until I saw some of the other replies here!
The center is open all year round, no weeks-off for spring break, winter holidays, etc. Large non-profit center that provides care up to pre-K and runs a school-age summer program. Our kids are 6 years apart and the younger one was about $500 less per week when he started.
Anon says
Replying to nest the MN comments together :) – Western Twin Cities, Infant care is $350 per week / ~$1,400 a month. We bring prepared bottles of BM or formula. We also supply diapers and wipes. Center does not have any add-ons, food & all activities are included. Open Year round, no planned weeks off, etc. Owned by a local couple with kids. I wish they had a summer school program for when kiddos are older.
Anon says
Currently 15 weeks pregnant and in the Twin cities, would you be willing to share which centers these are? We are in the Western metro but looking at all the DHS reports has terrified me, so we are leaning toward a center that is $2500/month. Would love to consider cheaper options!
Anon says
Sure! I’m the 11:29am commenter. Our center is Next Steps Learning Center. They have 3 locations currently and are opening a 4th in Shakopee later this Fall.
Anon says
Mine is in St Paul, so, not a great location for western metro but it’s Sandcastle: https://sf-sj.org/sandcastle-child-care. Some of the teacher have been there 20+ years.
Anona says
Not sure if it’s at all convenient to you, but I went to Hand in Hand at Concordia 30+ years ago, but would have sent my kids there if our family lived in area.
Anon says
Northern VA (D.C. Area) – ~$2000/month – provided pumped milk, but they’d handle formula, and I provided purees/mashed foods but they provided all meals once we were past that point.
Houston (inner loop of city – so not the burbs) – ~$1550/month – same accommodations as above, but fancier/higher end in general, had the cameras and more security overall.
Both places were great for us and our kids.
Both of these are FT (e.g. some version of 7-6 PM). In VA, we had to ensure it was no more than 9 hours from drop-off to pick-up, but the times this didn’t happen because of meetings running late, traffic, etc., it was never a problem. In Houston, there were no similar restrictions on time.
Anon says
$1,680 per month for infants (<1 year old) in Indianapolis. Local non-profit with multiple centers. They provide all food, snacks and formula if desired (yay!). Rate’s gone up $150 per month since 2021.
Anonymous says
Hi from West Lafayette! I didn’t realize there were other Indiana moms here :)
HSAL says
At least one more. :)
CCLA says
Westside LA area, my youngest just left daycare but the infant rate at her center (7-6, NAEYC, no food provided, a few annual fees) was about $2400. It’s one of the less expensive expanded hours options in the area. Years ago I was paying 2800 at a similar center around here for my oldest, I’m sure that place is well over $3k by now.
Anonymous says
2700 for 1 in infant in well-located and popular kinder care in portland or. 2300 for 1 in infant in a less popularly located kinder care (which we will likely end up using). 2300 for smaller more hippie-granola independent (not in home) established day cares in our area but I don’t think we’ll be able to get off the wait list.
Anon says
Thanks all – this was very informative!
Anonymous says
SF Bay Area. Our center currently charges $3150 for infant care 6-12 months. This is a change from the $2k a month I paid for my oldest 6 years ago. They also took babies as young as 3 months until recently. They provide diapers and eventually food after age 1.
My youngest is now 4 and we pay $1900 a month at the same center. This also includes food.
Anon says
$2,400/month for 14 months to 3 years at a small daycare in DC (not in-home). They provide meals and snacks.
Anonymous says
Close in DC suburb in VA. I think it’s $610 per week so something like $2600/month up to age 2. Food is provided after age 1. Hours are 7:30-6pm. Older kid is something like $2400. Our tuition has gone up $100 per week with the increases for both kids at this center.
anon says
My 2nd grader has been having a hard time adjusting to the new school year. We’re two weeks in and she dissolves into tears every morning when it’s time to go to school and tells me every evening that she doesn’t want to go back. We’ve never had this with her before–she’s always loved school. Any suggestions for ways to help her adapt?
I’ve been able to get limited information out of her about why she is so unhappy with school, but it seems to center around (1) being placed in a class without her friends, (2) being asked to do more and harder work than last year, (3) a reward system the teacher has set up where they get tickets if everyone at their table behaves and having an unruly boy at her table that costs them tickets, and (4) disruption from having to switch classrooms because of issues with A/C and rodents so workers can try to resolve the issues. No single issue, but together they are really stressing her out and that’s not normal for her.
AwayEmily says
Ugh #3 suuuuucks. I hate when they punish all kids for one kid’s misbehavior. Is there any way you could gently bring this up to the teacher?
My take is to lean into the “this is hard, but temporary” narrative. Especially at this age (mine is also a new 2nd grader) they seem really receptive to you talking about your own experiences. So maybe talk to her about a time when YOUR work was really hard (when you had a big project, when you started at a new job, etc), and how it got better over time. And then make a list with her of ways to make it more bearable while she waits for that time to come. Maybe scheduling some special breakfasts, playdates with her non-class friends on the weekends, etc. I think the ability to recognize “this sucks right now, and that’s okay, and it will end, and here’s how I’m going to get through this sucky time” is a super important skill for both kids AND adults.
Lily says
No huge advice since my kids are still pre-elementary but I would push back HARD against the “ticket” system. That is so unfair to your daughter. I realize life isn’t fair, but this is intentionally making a well-behaved child responsible for an ill-behaved child’s behavior. And the message to her could even be that she is responsible for an out-of-control male’s behavior, which is horrible. What is the justification for this system?
Anon says
It sucks but it’s pretty common in elementary schools and the mom “pushing back” won’t accomplish anything except making the teacher hate her kid, which will do more harm in the long run.
Boston Legal Eagle says
I haven’t heard of this practice at our elementary school. Why would the whole table be included? And I think they’ve generally gone away from red sticker/green sticker as some kids will just be in the red all year.
Anon says
I think the idea is positive peer pressure. I agree it’s an outdated practice, but it is still common in my area and I’ve heard from friends in other cities about teachers doing it there too. I was specifically reacting to the “pushing back hard” comment. I think you can tell the teacher your kid is struggling with it and hopefully if they get similar feedback from other parents they’ll re-evaluate, but if you go in scorched earth it will just backfire and make things worse for your kid.
anon says
Thanks for the input! The teacher has 20 years of experience and is well regarded, so I feel like I need to hold off just a bit on making any requests for her to change her system. She hasn’t even given out the first round of prizes yet, so it’s entirely possible that she has a way to make it fair (even if not visible to the 7 yos). She’s still getting to know the kids and is probably making adjustments. She even said at back to school night that she’d be rotating desks. I think I need to sit tight and give it a bit of time to play out. My DD just really, really has her heart set on one of the prizes in the box, so she’s very focused on it. Hopefully my instincts are right and the teacher sorts it out fairly–fingers crossed.
Anon says
i have a kid who becomes prize obsessed and this would be an absolute disaster for her. to the point where depending on what this prize is, i might find another way to buy it for her, which i realize defeats the purpose of the lesson the teacher is trying to teach and i am not usually one to try to just make things easier for my kid and really agree with the first commenter about leaning into the ‘this is hard right now’ advice
Anonymous says
Just reach out generally and let her know your kid is struggling, ask her what she sees (if anything) etc. every teacher I’ve come across has been open to this sort of convo and wants to help. She can’t help if she doesn’t know it’s going on.
Anon says
It absolutely has a sexist element. We cannot teach girls that they are responsible for boys’ bad behavior. That’s how domestic violence has been excused for centuries.
Anonymous says
Yep. I remember having to sit between the rowdy boys in elementary school in order to be a “good influence.” It’s sexist and needs to stop. The way to stop it, however, is probably a more oblique approach. If I were OP I wouldn’t go in demanding changes to the incentive system. I would explain exactly why her daughter is upset and stressed out by the system (Jane is frustrated because she is working hard to comply with the behavioral expectations but it’s impossible for her to earn tickets because there is another child at her table who is not meeting expectations), then ask for the teacher’s perspective and her proposed solution. This is one of those things where it’s important for parents to complain because nothing will change until a whole lot of parents bring it up.
anon says
3 and 4 would be the worst triggers for my kids, too. Hopefully you can remind her that she should get a permanent classroom soon and I second the suggestions to talk to the teacher about #3. (My daughter would go along with it for a week or so, but eventually just decide that if she’s not getting tickets anyway, she may as well stop behaving. If I were a teacher, I’d want to stop that before it starts.
Anonymous says
I have a second grader that for the only time in her life ever has not complained about school (yet).
#3- reach out to the teacher and let her know your daughter is having a hard time generally and this is a piece. The teacher will want to know.
Other than that, can you have playdates with a friendly classmate or two? Build in special after school snacks?
My K kiddo is grumpy/sad about school but it gets better every day and friends help.
Anon says
My kindergartener didn’t want to go to school today, and I suggested she pick out a pretty necklace to wear and pick a special snack to bring, and she eagerly agreed. Sometimes I just have to move her mind onto something enticing to get her over the hump and help her feel more control.
Anonymous says
Umm smug response much?
The social and emotional awareness and maturity of kindergartners is quite different than that of second graders. Not the OP but a such a distraction would def not work on my second grader.
Anon says
I don’t think it’s smug, I think it was intended to be helpful. But I agree that distraction techniques that work on a 5 year old are unlikely to do much for older kids.
Anon says
Oh my god, #3 is really triggering for me. I dealt with a similar, though much more intense, school-, classroom-, and bus-wise punishments in the south in the 80s. (The school also used corporal punishment if that gives you a sense of things.) As a sensitive kid who went through this, I would do anything legally possible to get her out of a system like that. I had really long-lasting trauma from my experience with this in elementary. As a kindergartener, I became mute and wouldn’t eat at school because I was too scared to make a mistake. Of course, none of my perfection ever made any difference and I, like everyone else, was routinely punished for unruly kids. Your situation doesn’t sound as bad as what I went through, but if you’ve got a sensitive kiddo, I’d push like hell to have her switch classrooms or push to have the teacher end this kind of crap systems. Oh god, and now I’m crying remembering all this. Please listen if your kid is upset by this!
Anon says
2nd grade is a lot harder than 1st at least in our area. I’d try to bc I’ve her as much chill and down time at night and on weekends – if there are any activities you can cut back on for a few weeks, I would
Anon says
first full week of sending my 4 month old to daycare and I’m having the hardest time at drop-off. even though my baby isn’t crying. it kills me to leave him, especially when there are other babies crying in the room. tell me it gets better and that it’s normal to hear crying babies in the infant room?
Anon says
It’s 1000% normal feelings. Ever since I dropped my 3 month old at daycare it continues to blow my mind that 1) Most women in the US return to work a lot earlier and 2) I don’t understand why FMLA can not be extended out to 6 months. I mean, I’m fine with my employer not paying me for a while. If feels un-natural to leave a kid that early on and have no other option than to quit working.
I am pregnant with my second and this is the thing I’m least looking forward to. But with my almost 4 year old. She loves daycare. She has a whole community of friends and teachers she cares deeply for and who love on her. She has learned so much more in the daycare’s preschool than I would have taught her left to my own devices. Looking back, I wish I could have hugged my new mom self and tell her. It’s ok to be sad and it will get better. But it’s okay to be a little angry and sad in the moment too.
Anon says
I wish we had more flexibility about when we used leave in addition to more leave. My 3 month old was a potato – a cute potato, but still a potato – and I had no issues dropping her off with trusted caregivers. It got a lot harder at 6+ months. TBH, I would have happily gone back to work earlier than 12 weeks if it had meant I could take more time off with an older, more interactive baby, but it wasn’t an option.
But yes to everything you said about older kids thriving in daycare. It was a wonderful experience for my kid and not something I could have replicated at home.
Anonymous says
Mine was not a potato but a ravenous vampire who never slept during the day and demanded to be held 24/7. I was beyond thrilled to drop her off at day care so I could do things like eat and use the bathroom. I practically skipped out of the day care center the first day. I was always worried that the teachers would think there was something wrong with me because I had such an easy time with drop-off.
Anon says
That was me too. DH was super sad when we dropped off the baby on the first day but if he’d been up all night nursing / pumping due to low supply he might have felt more like I did. I went home, had a beer, and napped for three hours. It was glorious.
Anonymous says
It’s very normal. But also, if you can, I would schedule some times coming up when you can take off a day or a half a day of work, if you have vacation. I found when my kids were tiny that I didn’t like to travel, so it was nice to set aside vacation time to just hang out with them.
Anon says
It gets so much better. Sometime between 4-6 months my daughter started smiling when she saw her daycare teacher, which was super reassuring.
Anon. says
Both of these are 100% normal. I was sooo sad leaving my 4-month old, and then as we were walking out we watched a 2-yr old racing his mom to the door, clearly excited to go play with his friends and teachers. My kids have loved their daycare experience and talk about all of the fun things they do there. I’m so glad to have the opportunity to work my “big” job and love on my kids outside of it.
As to babies crying at drop off – babies cry. For all the reasons. And as caretakers we can’t always fix it, especially right away. If the teachers seem oblivious or mean, that’s an issue; but crying babies isn’t an automatic indication of bad care.
Anonymous says
I cried for a full week when I dropped off my oldest @ 11 weeks. I picked her up early every day.
It’s normal. It’s hard. And it gets better!
Anon says
Hang in there! I felt utter dread picking up my infant at daycare because I interpreted crying as something harmful and a sign of inadequate care. It’s not. Babies cry even when they are in their mother’s arms at times. It’s okay. The little babies I saw in the infant room grew up to be sunny, happy, healthy kids. I no longer feel the same anxiety. Spend time chatting with the teachers to reassure yourself. More than likely, they understand babies better than the average new mom and are in this job because they are devoted to infant care.
anon says
hi! I’m expecting my first in mid March and am interested in a baby nurse or night nurse. does anyone have tips for interview questions to ask as we secure one? also, will happily take any recommendations. We are in NYC, no family nearby (thus the need for help).
Anon says
Not a tip for interviewing, but we are currently looking for postpartum doulas. They typically have both day and night services from what I’ve seen, and I’ve heard they’re a great resource. My doctor gave me a list of doulas they have worked with and recommend.
Anon above says
Also fellow March due date here :)
Anonymous says
Look at the Park Slope Parents website for advice on things like this and interviewing nannies.
https://www.parkslopeparents.com/Childcare-Advice/doulas-nurses-and-beyond-choosing-the-right-type-of-care-for-your-family.html
NYCer says
Check out Facebook moms groups – lots of referrals there. I am not sure where you are in NYC, but here are a few active groups that I know of: UES Mommas, UWS Mommas, and Have a Nanny Need a Nanny LLC.
We found our night nurse for our first child through Baby Nurse Guru, and then used her again for our second child.
ANon says
i asked about years of experience, how they support with feeding, depending on how you plan to feed, i also spoke to references. we were not in NYC, but LOVED our night nurse and they are so common in the nYC area you should have no trouble finding someone fantastic
Anonymous says
+1 to these questions. Also ask generally what they do with their downtime. Ours worked a LOT (we had twins when we’re difficult) and she still washed all my (16) bottles at the end of the night and repeatedly offered to do laundry.
NYCer says
I wrote a response earlier, but it seems like it never made it out of mod.
Check face book moms groups for referrals. I know that the upper eastside and upper westside both have active groups, but I assume other neighborhoods do too.
For our first daughter, we found our night nurse via baby nurse g u r u. Spaces to avoid mod. We used the same woman again for our second.
CCLA says
We loved our night nurse. A lot of them seem to be older experienced caregivers, who are lovely but also are not always up on latest safe sleep practices. Regardless of where you fall in your plan re sleep practices, I’d make sure they’re willing to follow your guidelines even if they are different from their own practices. We used an app in the early days to track feeding, and it was nice to find someone who was willing to use that (this was years ago but I think we kept an old iphone for caregivers to use for this purpose and also hooked up the monitor to that). Check infant CPR certified, and call references of course! We used an agency which cut down on some of that work. Honestly some of the best money ever spent, it was like buying sleep.
Anon2 says
DD rocked her first week of K last week. On Thursday (day 3) she wouldn’t even let DH walk her to the door, as most K parents were, because she wanted to be part of the rolling drop off like the big kids – it was great to see her so confident TBH.
Today…. not so much. Sobbing at the door. We dropped her off at 8:10 so I’m certain if something were really wrong we’d have had a call hours ago. I’m also certain she was probably fine within 30 mins of walking inside the school (or way sooner than that) but man, that was hard. It’s 1:15pm here and I can’t stop thinking about her and hoping she’s having a good day.
I’m sure it’s fueled by (a) going back after the first weekend – just a lot to process, more new transitions, and (b) we had family in from literally the other side of the world stay with us this weekend and we had to say goodbye to them this morning. She met her little cousin for the first time this weekend and loved having her, so probably a lot of built up emotion. The weekend they visited wasn’t ideal given new routines/school, but timing was out of our control.
That’s all. Solidarity to any other parents going through it.
Anonymous says
My K-er declared weekends should be 3 days, not two. She was not ready for a Monday.
Anon says
Hard agree lol
GCA says
Oh goodness, solidarity. My K-er wailing as she got on the bus (with her older brother, no less, who was trying to help calm her down, bless him.) It was a case of the Mondays plus a lot more transitions. I’m also traveling for work next week, then my parents are visiting from the other side of the world at the end of the month, then DH is traveling for work, so it’ll be a lot more hard transitions…
Boston Legal Eagle says
I feel like childhood is one big adjustment to transitions. Once you’ve got one system/age set, they change and you have to start over again.
Glad your bus came though!
GCA says
Hah, true – to both your paragraphs :)
Anon says
It really comes and goes. Mine has been in K for over a month and randomly started crying at drop off last week. No major changes at home. I think it just finally hit her she’s not going back to daycare, and the end of the long weekend was hard. Today was better!
Anonymous says
My oldest started public k last year. Prior to that, he had been in year-round day care since he was 7 weeks old. Kinder is just a hard transition, I think. I would say he got the hang of it about 9 weeks in. We really prioritized early bedtime. Good luck! It will get batter.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
Hi, my K-er is going through it :)
This morning the first thing K-er said was “OH NO ANOTHER BORING DAY AT SCHOOL!” and was pretty much crying/whining until I distracted him with a conversation about a new favorite Star Wars character. When asked, he tells anyone that will listen that he “only kind of likes it” and “only” has 2 friends. He already started complaining on Saturday that he had to go back to school on Monday. His favorite parts of school are recess and lunch.
He’s asked me if he can go back to his old kindergarten class, but then once I tell him that all of his old classmates are gone, he loses interest. He also constantly talks about missing having “centers” like he’s always had in classes. This is also a child that has been in preschool/daycare since he was 4 months old, and did a year of Kindergarten last year in private, but I defer to the wisdom of veterans here and IRL that it is just a massive transition – maybe even bigger for kids who have been in one type of setting their whole lives. A close friend who has older school-aged kids confirms what I’ve read here – give it a few months. She said her older son finally found his bearings around Halloween :)
Boston Legal Eagle says
As a “veteran,” I can confirm that K is a big transition, even for kids who have been in daycare since infancy. It took my older kid many months to adjust, but 1st grade was so much easier, so hang in there. Tears and restraint collapse are normal.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
Aww thanks – these words really help!
Anon says
Do any Chicago/NW IN/SW MI ‘rettes have preferences for either the Indiana Dunes or the Warren Dunes for a 2 year old? We’ll be near both, but probably only go to one of them.
Anon says
I’ve never been to Warren Dunes but the Indiana Dunes are great with kids that age. We like Porter Beach. It stays shallow for a long way out so the water is warmer than you’d expect for a Great Lake.
Betsy says
PSA to anyone who is pregnant and hasn’t yet experienced morning sickness – keep a bucket in reach in your car! My very first round of morning sickness hit this morning…while I was driving…on the highway…and couldn’t pull over. What a spectacularly horrible start to my morning!
Anon says
How awful!! What week are you? Hope it get better…
anonM says
I did this once. Had to wash out my suit skirt in a bathroom then go meet with a bunch of men. Was horrible. Solidarity and hope you feel better the rest of the day today!
Anon says
Wow… that would be so tough.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
Can confirm.
This happened to me – the only time I threw up when pregnant with DS #1 was driving home after work in Friday traffic. It was late winter so still cold, and I remember getting out of the car in my puffer and retching into the trees off of the side of the highway.
Anon says
My office manager (who was in her 60s at the time I was pregnant with my first) recommended an empty coffee tin. Best piece of advice I got about morning sickness. The lid is essential….
Anonymous says
Extra-pro tip: Line that bucket with a grocery bag or two (or seven). Makes cleanup much easier.
Also, a container of baby wipes goes a long way.
Anon says
oh yes, the first time i felt sick fortunately DH was driving but we were on our way to a doc appointment and i was supposed to go straight to work after and puked all over myself in the car, so we had to run home for me to change. and then i purchased barf bags
Boston Legal Eagle says
My 2nd grader is reading the “I Survived…” books and it’s crazy to me to think that to him, the 9/11 attacks are as historical (i.e. something that happened in the past) as other events like Titanic or WWI. I remember that day like it was yesterday.
Anonymous says
We bike to school with neighbors (elementary school) and they were arguing that it happened in 2011. I said “No. It was 2001. Because I was in high school.” I’ve never felt so old.
anonymous says
you saying you were in high school in 2001 is making ME feel so old.
Mary Moo Cow says
I think I finally understand what my MIL says about the assassination of JFK not being history to her because she lived through it and remembers it so vividly. I was in college on 9/11 and what I really remember is the lingering gloom over the following weeks. When I realized today it happened over 20 years ago, my physical reaction was to shake my head, like, no that can’t be right.
My 3rd grader’s classmate’s mom said recently that she didn’t want her son to read the I Survived 9/11 because she didn’t think they were there yet, but we realized it was more about our memories of the event and reaction of wanting to shield our children from it, when, to them, it’s near ancient history. Because of their distance in time to it, they don’t have the emotional connection that we do.
Anonymous says
I think kids are better at handling mass m u r d e r stories like the Holocaust and 9/11 than adults because it’s all abstract to them. I can’t read WWII fiction or nonfiction anymore because the stories of children’s being ripped from mothers’ arms make me physically ill. As a kid I focused more on the ingenuity and courage of the survivors. I think 9/11 is the same–we imagine sending or receiving those text messages, and kids just think about the bravery of the people who got down the stairs or kept the fourth plane from hitting its target. We see the evil and the personal toll that kids just can’t comprehend.
Anon says
I think this is very person dependent. I was extremely traumatized when I learned about the Holocaust in ~third grade. My family is Jewish though.
Anonymous says
I have a 2nd and 4th grader and I thought the “I survived” was a great way to talk about 9/11. My dad worked in NYC, had breakfast at windows on the world every other Monday with a client.
I was a senior in HS in a NYC suburb and when the first tower was hit our school just kept us all in our classrooms and pulled TVs on into every room, or moved students to rooms that had them. We watched the second tower fall live on TV. Easily 20% of my high school had a parent that worked in NYC. I happened to be in biology and my bio teacher’s son worked in one of the trade center buildings (as it turns out not the two that fell). She just…left. Another adult eventually came in I assume. Only a few kids had cell phones and they didn’t send us home because so many parents were unaccounted for. Several students lost parents or family that day.
Our town was on the news because we had some cars that were never picked up from the commute lot. My cousin worked (still does!) in the Pentagon. My good friend, a year older and a freshman in college, went to NYU. She was stuck in her dorm and couldn’t send word she was safe.
I now live in town in MA that lost two residents who were on flight 11.
We don’t forget in this house. My kids are not too young to learn about it.