Family Friday: Toddler Girls’ Training Briefs Set

I’m turning 39 next week. I have a 10 year old from my first marriage, and got remarried two years ago. Now-husband loves kids and loves being a stepdad, my kid adores him. We’ve talked a lot about having another one but we were both really ambivalent about it. We talked about potential names, etc, but also worry about the early years and how hard that would be, and also the money. We agreed that this year, when I am 39, is the decision point — either we start trying, or we decide we’re not doing it.

Last weekend, we talked about it and husband said he has decided he doesn’t want another kid. I was totally ambivalent before he said that but now I feel really sad. Like a door closed — I’m really not going to have another baby/child/adult child, my kid will definitely not have a sibling. I thought I would be fine with whatever we decided but I’m definitely not. I haven’t talked to my husband about this yet because I want to be careful to not pressure him — if he knew how sad I am about it he would say lets just do it, but I don’t want him to agree to it without being fully entirely on board.

Of course, given our ages it’s entirely possible that it wouldn’t happen anyway, but I thought I had another year or so before having to emotionally deal with that door-shutting feeling.

Anyway, if anyone’s been there I would appreciate your thoughts or advice.

A hopefully fun question for a Friday. I’m pregnant with my first, and have started to think about what family traditions I want to make for my kid(s). What are your favorite family traditions, holiday or non-holiday related?

Would you send your kids to Catholic school if you’re not Catholic?

I’m really torn here – I am unimpressed with the public schools in my area, they’re ranked well but in the research I’ve done they’re not what I’m looking for in a school. There are two private schools we’ve visited that I really liked (including my alma mater), but they’re very expensive. The local Catholic school seems like it might be a good compromise – it’s more similar to the private school than the public but it’s significantly cheaper.

We are lax Episcopalians, so the Christian aspect of a Catholic school doesn’t bother me. I actually went to an Episcopalian school (because it was a good academic school, not because my parents were so gung ho on Episcopalian education) so I’m very used to the idea of religion class and chapel in school.

However, I have a lot of concerns about the Catholic Church and it’s teachings and track record. I also was often the only non-Catholic in my social circles growing up (Catholic dad married Lutheran mom, they compromised on Episcopalianism, but half of my extended family, all of our family friends, and most kids in my neighborhood and grade school were Catholic) and I often felt othered by not being Catholic.

I have a friend with a kid at the Catholic school (she’s very Catholic) and she has only great things to say about it. She also says that there’s a notable non-Catholic population. It’s still majority Catholic, but it’s not ONLY Catholic the way that Catholic schools used to be.

I like that the Catholic school is both smaller than the local public and that the classes are smaller too. In reviewing the curriculum of both schools, the Catholic school curriculum seems more in line with what I’m looking for. I like that there’s a focus on more than just the academics (it seems like there’s a focus on character development, they talk a lot about values that are both religious and non-religious). I like that it is a tight knit community. It’s walking distance from our house, which is also very nice.

I don’t really have concerns with the school itself, but obviously have concerns with the Catholic Church. I would like to believe that the abuse scandals are over, I don’t know that. We’re very liberal and accepting of all, and the church is not. I don’t like that there are no women priests, I don’t want my daughter to feel like she can’t do something just because she’s a girl. We are vocal LGBT allies and pro-choice. And, as an Episcopalian, I really do believe that Jesus is accepting of more than the Catholic Church accepts. It’s almost antithetical to my Episcopal faith. I guess I could counteract this by involving my kids more in the Episcopal Church (currently we go 1x a month and they don’t do Sunday school) so they see a Christian tradition that is more accepting.

I also do worry about my kids feeling left out. If everyone else is preparing for their First Reconciliation or First Holy Communion and they’re not, will they feel left out? Do Catholic kids still tell other Christian kids they’re not real Christians (this happened to me growing up at an Episcopal school!)?

As the world becomes more and more secular, I am curious to see how much this has changed and will continue to change? I’d imagine more families attending Catholic school are C&E people than in the past?

FWIW, I’m in a heavily Irish-Catholic area so culturally things feel Catholic. Obviously less so than they did when I was growing up, but it still more so than other areas.

Trying to decide whether to see a fertility specialist now or wait a few more months. I’m 35, TTC #2 for about 7 months. Took about 6 months for #1. OB isn’t concerned. Any advice?

Anyone want to share some positive stories about traveling in Europe with kids? Going this summer with a 7, 5, and 15mo and am feeling stressed (my ideal vacation is a week relaxing in the Adirondacks, not going to Europe…but this has been a dream of my husband’s for awhile and we had an opportunity fall into our laps). At this point I don’t need specific travel tips (tho I will definitely seek those out down the road!); I just want some happy stories. I feel like many of you amazing people do this type of thing regularly and have found it really rewarding — I would love some of that positive energy right now!

People with older kids – does your kiddo have a bedtime and what is it?