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One fashion “rule” I’ve always adhered to was that petites could not wear wide-leg pants. Well, thanks to an equally petite coworker who regularly rocked wide-leg pants, I took the plunge and bought my first pair of Zhou Culottes in Galaxy Blue. Since then, I’ve purchased another pair (Faded Stripe, which is black with a light pinstripe), wowed by their versatility. The high waist and side seams keep the volume from overwhelming my frame.
If they weren’t perfect enough, they’re also machine washable and wrinkle resistant — perfect for when we travel again. Throughout the fall, I’ve been pairing them with cropped, relaxed sweaters for a stepped-up, yet cozy, work-from-home look.
The Zhou is currently available for $195 at M.M.LaFleur in a dozen colors, and most are on sale (starting at $115)! The Pippa, the cropped cousin of the Zhou, is available in extended sizes (and a few other lucky sizes) and is also on sale. The Zhou Culotte
Sales of note for 11.30.23…
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Nordstrom – Limited-Time Sale of 11,000+ items; up to 25% off select women’s coats & jackets (ends 12/6); Nike up to 25% off (ends 12/2); markdowns include big deals on UGG, Natori, Marc Fisher LTD, Vionic and more!
- Ann Taylor – Up to 40% off sale styles
- Banana Republic – 40% off your purchase, including cashmere; up to 60% off sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything; extra 25% off $125+
- J.Crew – 50% off women’s styles; extra 30% off sale styles
- Lands’ End – Up to 70% off everything; free shipping (readers love the cashmere)
- Summersalt – 30% off everything; up to 60% off select styles (this reader-favorite sweater blazer is down to $75)
- Talbots – 30% off entire purchase, including all markdowns — readers love this cashmere boatneck and this cashmere cardigan, as well as their sweater blazers in general
- Zappos – 35,000+ women’s sale items! Check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kid shoe brands on sale.
Kid/Family Sales
- BabyJogger – 25% off 3 items
- Crate & Kids – Toy & gift event: up to 50% off everything; save 10% off full price items
- J.Crew Crewcuts – 50% off everything; extra 30% off sale styles
- Ergobaby – 40% off Omni Breeze Carrier, 25% off Evolve 3-in-1 bouncer, $100 off Metro+ Strollers
- Graco – Up to 30% off car seats
- Strolleria – 25% off Wonderfold wagons, and additional deals on dadada, Cybex, and Peg Perego
- Walmart – Savings on Maxi-Cosi car seats, adventure wagons, rocker recliners, security cameras and more!
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
Anon says
So apparently the first big vaccine priority group (after healthcare workers and nursing home residents) is going to be essential workers, which will likely include childcare workers and teachers. The essential workers group, which, as currently defined, is huge – almost 90 million people – will come even before the elderly and people with high risk health conditions. I favor anything that gets kids back to school ASAP, but I’m not sure how much impact vaccinating just school staff will have, given that kids can’t be vaccinated so there will still be lots of positive cases in schools and teachers will likely still have to quarantine after any potential exposure. At least in my district, the staffing issues all arise from people being exposed (mostly through social gatherings or a household member, not school) and having to quarantine for 14 days and I don’t really see a vaccine changing that. I guess potentially they could waive quarantine requirements for anyone who’s been vaccinated, but I foresee a big backlash to that given that the data we have about vaccines is only about how well they prevent symptomatic illness not how well they prevent infection or spread and a vaccinated teacher could potentially infect others without becoming symptomatic themselves. I’m curious what other people think.
anon says
In my area they’re already talking about schools being full DL through fall 2021 if the vaccine isn’t available. Teachers are unwilling to go back at all until they are vaccinated. We haven’t had any in person school or camps since March and there is no willpower to change the local risk tolerance.
I 100% support vaccinating teachers first. We need kids back in school.
Anon says
Do you think teachers will actually willing to go back if they can get vaccinated but kids can’t? The teachers I know who have been really vocal about not going back say that just getting vaccinated themselves is not enough, because the vaccine doesn’t offer complete protection (although perhaps this will change, given the higher-than-expected efficacy numbers… a shot that offers 50% protection and a shot that offers 90% protection are very different).
Cb says
Gosh, that feels unrealistic given how long it will take to test vaccines for children? It looks like the first vaccines will be rolled out here next week – NHS staff, care home workers, and front line workers. I’m hoping that will include nursery and teachers, as schools are open for in-person teaching here.
anon says
If the vaccine is 95% effective, I would expect vaccinated teachers to go back. They won’t be able to say that being in the classroom in endangering their life and there is no evidence that vaccinated persons are carriers. (That isn’t true for other virus/vaccines.)
I would expect schools to maintain distancing and masks between students while there is still significant community spread.
Anonymous says
So…no school until 2022? They won’t even start testing a juvenile vaccine until mid/late summer.
Yeah, they should just quit.
Anonymous says
Where did you see that ‘essential workers’ includes teachers? I’ve been reading it as essential workers like police and firefighters etc.
Anon says
This is a presentation from the committee that allocates vaccine priority in the US. It specifically mentions teachers as being part of the essential group: https://www.cdc.gov/vaccines/acip/meetings/downloads/slides-2020-11/COVID-04-Dooling.pdf
This document has a more complete extensive definition of critical infrastructure workers, including some categories that were fairly surprising to me: https://www.cisa.gov/sites/default/files/publications/Version_4.0_CISA_Guidance_on_Essential_Critical_Infrastructure_Workers_FINAL%20AUG%2018v3.pdf. I *think* the 87 million figure cited in the ACIP presentation includes everyone mentioned in this document, but I could be wrong.
My understanding is that first responders (firefighters and police) would likely be among the first within the essential workers group, but I don’t see that formalized anywhere yet.
Anon says
My reply is in m0d because of links, but if you search for “ACIP” and “vaccine priority” you should be able to find a recent presentation from the CDC committee that determines vaccine priority. Teachers are specifically listed in the essential worker group, which they say has 87 million people in it.
Anonymous says
I think they are going to have to rank priority within that group though. I can’t see them being able to roll out 87 million at the same time. There’s going to have to be a few tiers. I’m assuming Fall 2021 before all schools are 100% back.
Anon says
For sure, it won’t be all at once. But most people in the know are saying all the high priority groups should be done by late spring and then it will be opened up to the general public. I don’t think it’s guaranteed, but it seems reasonably plausible to me that every “priority” person could be vaccinated by April and since essential workers are in the first half of that group (above elderly and high risk) that could put them more like February/March. Of course it depends on a lot of things including how many vaccines get approved. It will be harder with just Pfizer and Moderna. I’m hoping J&J comes through, since that’s only one dose and is easier to ship and store.
Newborn sleep says
Asking for a family member… How do you get a newborn (only four days old) to sleep if he only wants to sleep while being held? His parents transfer him to a crib when he’s asleep, but he wakes up crying within five minutes. They’ve been taking turns holding him throughout the night, but this is not sustainable. Any suggestions are most appreciated!
Anon says
You don’t. Unfortunately this is just a fact of life with many newborns. They could look into getting a night nurse if they can afford it. When a baby is ~3 months old you can usually do sleep training with a pediatrician’s approval and get them sleeping in a crib, but before that it’s only possible if they cooperate and unfortunately some babies just don’t.
Anonymous says
I would ask the pediatrician about the possibility of reflux, which could be making it uncomfortable for him to lie flat in the crib. If it’s just parent contact he wants, try putting him in a pack n play next to the bed where a parent can reach over and lay a hand on him when he fusses.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Are they using a swaddle? That seems to help a lot of brand new babies and mimics the tightness of womb/being held. They may also look into renting a snoo, as that’s supposed to help with sleep in the early days. A big wide crib is usually not conducive to newborn sleep.
Cb says
I have no idea…I used a sidecar sleeper and could put my arm in around my baby, and sometimes that worked. And later on, I co-slept a bit. Sometimes I’d sleep with the baby on me, and my husband would supervise. But honestly, newborn sleep is just such a crapshoot. And day 4 is the worst, it just all seems so hopeless.
anon says
Loud white noise helps. Swaddling can help. Figuring out exactly how asleep the infant needs to be before laying him down is key. (There’s a magic window).
Putting him down on an inclined surface, e.g., swing, bouncer, propped mattress, can help if there’s reflux. Some infants sleep in cozier loungers. Just need to make sure the option is safe.
Anonymous says
Swaddle plus hand on the tummy until settled. And if baby is not falling asleep from being full from nursing (milk drunk), then I’d look into if they are getting enough. At that age, I had to still basically express milk into baby’s mouth cause he took a while to learn how to suck efficiently.
We had the bassinette next to our bed and DH or I (usually DH), slept with our hand on baby’s belly. The warm contact seemed to help.
Anonymous says
Adding that feeding is just a lot of work in the early days. I held baby with one hand, used other hand to hold my boob in place and DH was nearby with a cold washcloth to keep baby awake when she started to doze but hadn’t finished the boob. Usually a diaper change to wake up or a quick 5-10 minute nap in between on the nursing pillow, then the other boob. Rarely tried to put baby down until both boobs were done.
Anonymous says
You don’t. You hold him and are shatteringly exhausted. This is newborns.
New Here says
We warmed up the bassinet with a heating pad and removed it before laying her down. Also a swaddle.
anonamama says
this is a good tip!!! thanks!
Anon says
Four days is not enough to draw any conclusions about the baby’s sleep propensity or possible health issues. FOUR DAYS is nothing and lots of newborns insist on being held while sleeping. Second the recommendation for a nurse if the parents are exhausted. If they haven’t tried a pacifier, I would certainly suggest that route too.
Anon says
Same Anon replying to my own comment: I do agree with the comment above that they need to make sure the baby is getting enough milk or formula, especially if breastfed. However, a dehydrated newborn generally doesn’t even cry that much. They should follow up with the pediatrician, but it’s quite likely there’s no medical or feeding issue.
Anon says
Some hungry newborns do cry a lot. I don’t know that my child met the medical definition of dehydrated but she lost a fair amount of weight and screamed almost continuously for her first 48 hours. DH and I got zero sleep. When we finally started supplementing with formula she completely stopped crying and immediately started sleeping in 3-4 hour stretches.
I still feel so much guilt that I caused her to needlessly suffer for her first few days. I just sat there listening to my poor baby scream her head off from hunger and did nothing about it because we’re taught that formula is “bad.”
Lyssa says
Funny story – I have some relatives who adopted a newborn (years ago). He kept screaming like mad and they couldn’t figure out what was wrong, until they finally realized that they had somehow mixed up the formula measurement and were only mixing half of the powder they should have been using into the water. Poor kid was really hungry!
CCLA says
Yeah this was ours. We were clueless and ours screamed every 45 minutes, turns out we desperately needed to supplement and started after a couple of days. Still, that improved us from a very low baseline, so we got a night nurse which was some of the best money ever spent. Also, getting on a routine. I did not read the rest of the book, but schedule in the moms on call book saved us with our first. We implemented it from day 1 with our second and it worked so well we didn’t bother hiring a night nurse for the second. I know it’s not the same miracle for everyone, but I’d add it to the list of things to try.
TheElms says
I have an excellent sleeper and for the first 2 weeks I pretty much held her to sleep at night. I maybe got 45 minutes at a time when I wasn’t holding her between nursing sessions sometimes. The first 2 weeks just really suck and you will be so so so tired. But they aren’t representative of anything. My kid was sleeping 4 hour stretches at the end of the first month and 7-9 hours by 3 months, so it gets better. In the meantime try a variety of swaddles (velcro were our favorite, try pacifiers, try elevating one end of the crib (use cans under the feet of the crib or bassinet). I used a sidecar sleeper and could put my hand on baby’s chest and jiggle softly and that seemed to help a lot. Some people have success “pre-heating” the crib with a heating pad that is removed before you put the baby in the crib. Is a Snoo in the budget?
Realist says
I had this baby. She would not sleep unless being held for the first few weeks. NOTHING was going to change that. My pediatrician telling me that cosleeping wasn’t safe and baby must sleep in a crib might as well have been a Baptist minister trying to tell a bunch of nude, quarantined teenagers that abstinence is the only safe BC method. A more realistic conversation is how to cosleep safely, assuming a night nanny is not in the cards. What we did—ditched all blankets, baby and me just put on warm clothes and slept on my firm mattress. I think I also removed pillows or slept with a tiny travel one just large enough for my head. DH slept on the couch. Every 2 hours he set an alarm and came and checked on me and baby and helped me if I needed help (changed a diaper, brought water, held the baby while I went to the bathroom, etc). This was probably overkill, but as parents who were not ever planning on cosleeping, this is what made us feel safe. Obviously, no alcohol or anything that would impact my ability to wake up to help the baby.
There is so much messaging out there that tries to tell you cosleeping is dangerous. Well, so is trying to take care of a newborn on no sleep. Teaching parents that cribs are the only safe way to sleep is the same as telling teenagers that abstinence is the only safe way. There is room for nuance and real life.
Anonymous says
This. La Leche League has a good page about how to do co-sleeping safely. https://www.llli.org/the-safe-sleep-seven/
Anon says
This. Both of my babies were the same, but for my second one at least I knew what to do. For the first, I was recovering from major surgery and PPH trauma, so adding sleep deprivation on top of that was incredibly dangerous to both me and the baby. Finding a safe way to co-sleep (similar to the above, even down to the 2 hour check-ins from DH) was instrumental in getting us through those first two months.
AwayEmily says
Thank you for sharing your story. Four years ago I was a very “babies should only sleep in the crib, EVER!” person. I’m not any more. While I happened to luck into babies who did sleep fine in their crib, reading stories like yours on here over the last few years has changed my thinking on this and, I think, helped me be a better friend and family member to parents who did not luck into crib-sleeping babies, including by passing on advice like yours. The abstinence metaphor is a great one. So anyway, even though these discussions can sometimes be contentious I wanted to say thanks to you and to everyone else who is vocal about the need for nuance in all these recommendations.
Realist says
Thank you so much for saying this. After 72 hours with no sleep, it took my DH gently saying that I was going to doze off with the baby on the couch and that wasn’t safe at all for us to change things up. Then we were like ‘oh yeah, I guess we could intentionally co-sleep and make it as safe as possible so everyone is comfortable with it, because the bassinet/crib is just not happening.’ I try to share my story because it should not have gotten to the point of me actually hallucinating things that weren’t there (if you’ve ever been extremely sleep deprived, you know exactly about the ‘shadow people’ that appear in the corner of your eye that I’m talking about) for me to realize that the traditional ‘safe sleep’ advice for us was just too unrealistic for our family. We needed to meet our baby where she was and make the best of our less-than-ideal situation. Baby was sleeping in a crib by 4 months, so it really was only a short time.
The abstinence metaphor because it ties out pretty neatly. Like, if you want to avoid pregnancy, abstinence is the safest, most effective method. But it is a method/advice that is just not going to be realistic for everyone. So it is OK to talk about managing the risk in other ways instead of having this mindset of babies only sleeping in cribs, on their backs, with no blankets, is the only possible way for safe sleep. Because that mindset leads to babies and moms sleeping together on couches or gliders or other totally unsafe ‘compromises’ when the crib won’t work. As you often see high teen pregnancy rates when the only education offered is abstinence only.
Anonymous says
This. We started co-sleeping after I fell asleep while nursing one of my towns and almost fell off the chair. Luckily we were okay. Co-sleeping properly was safer for us.
AnonATL says
When ours was this age and doing this, it was hunger. Supplementing an ounce of formula per feed made a huge difference. Otherwise, we took shifts with him overnight.
Other fun tricks that helped were a tight swaddle, preheating the bassinet with a heating pad, putting my dirty shirt from the day under his bassinet sheet, loud white noise.
When all else failed, we bedshared on bad bad nights. I kicked DH to the guest room and baby and I were on the queen bed. Made me a little twitchy but worked in a pinch.
If none of that works, reflux or allergies might be the culprit. I’d proceed cautiously down the allergy route though. Our ped mentioned me cutting out certain foods while nursing and it felt like such a lazy response after doing more research. Of course there are kids with real allergies, but the only symptoms we had were gas and fussiness which most babies have. He eventually grew out of both.
ElisaR says
4 days old? i was in a black hole at that point and for awhile after. with both my boys 6 weeks was a major turning point. yes, it is hard. i thought it was unsustainable. the only way out is through.
one of my girlfriends said at this point “OH MY GOSH THIS IS SO HARD! HOW IS THE POPULATION SO HIGH? WHY DO PEOPLE DO THIS?”
Anon says
I would feed mine to sleep (side laying on MBF nursing pillow) and didn’t move him to the bassinet until he was deeply asleep. I used a technique similar to this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0gtB-8RJUb4
If they have a bassinet that may be cozier than a crib – baby is used to being in a tight space. But ultimately you may just have to hold the baby a lot the first month.
anon says
We used a bouncy chair (the cheapo fisher price one that vibrates). Baby sleeps a little upright, and you can bounce it gently with your foot. I think we would swaddle the baby and buckle it in, but honestly who knows.
Anne says
This is a crap shoot but in addition to swaddling getting the crib to smell like the parents can help so pile it with your dirty laundry (not actual dirt, just things that really smell like you) right before bed (and obvi remove the laundry before bedtime).
Anonymous says
I did this a lot. I’d put one of my shirts I had slept in (so probably smelled like milk)!in the bassinet. I think swaddling properly and tightly is key. Waking up after 5 mins sounds like Moro reflex. FWIW, my second kids WORST night was night 4. He was really transition to real poo and my milk had come in so his stomach was upset. Have you tried naps in a boppy lounger (supervised, obviously).
Ifiknew says
My 18 month old and 3.5 year old have very little overlap in what we can do together. I know it’ll get easier but when? If they’re in the same room, the 18 Month old is hitting her, knocking Down whatever she’s working on etc. How do we survive this winter.. Thanks in advance
Anonymous says
Soon! So soon! I have a not-quite-2.5-y/o and a 4 year old and they play so, so well together. It’s recent, though. I would say when your youngest is closer to 2 you will be in a really good place. You need more words and your toddler needs to be interested in at minimum parallel play.
AwayEmily says
Yeah, you are VERY close. It clicked for mine when my youngest turned 2. Now they are almost-3 and almost-5 and play together constantly. On Saturday we managed to vacuum the whole house AND put away the laundry while they played some complicated pretend game in their room together. I would never have imagined that was possible a year ago.
Anon says
Kids are the same ages and it’s great now. I would say 2 (for the younger one) was the turning point.
CCLA says
Echoing above, if yours are anything like ours, you’re so close! Ours just turned 2 and 4, so same spacing, and they now play really well together, which has been gradually happening for about 6 months. In the meantime, during the little one knocking down everything phase, we had had a lot of success with redirecting the little one but also reminding the older one that little sister was still learning how to play, so she was more understanding of mishaps. Also, we made a rule that if they were in the living room, toys were all for sharing, but if older sis wanted to build a creation uninterrupted she could take her magnets or duplos to her room, which she did a lot. She will still occasionally announce she needs space, and retreat to her room. Little sis has started echoing “need space too” and trying to follow her…but they seem to work it out okay if we give them a few minutes.
anon says
Echoing the others. Ages 2 and 4 was a turning point for us. The kids started playing together happily for an hour at a time.
Anonymous says
Mine are 16 months and 3.5. DD (3.5) only does fiddly things like Duplos or trains when DS is napping. He’s down to a big afternoon nap so that’s 1.5-2.5hrs a day. Crafts and play dough have to be done at the kitchen table where DS can’t reach. Otherwise all toys are shared.
Anonymous says
Mine are 27 months and 5.5 and have been able to play together for a good 9–12 months – I think a good part of it is the bigger one being old enough to lead the play and be conscious of the littler one’s capabilities. I think you are aaaaalmost there!!!
OP says
You guys are the best as usual. Made me feel so much better. Been telling myself a long time that things will get easier when baby is 2 and is so helpful that we’re getting there.
Anonymous says
Talk to me about photos and movies. I have 3 young kids and have managed to do nothing with them over the years. I feel like if I don’t buckle down and organize/make something now, I never will.
Those of you with multiple kids over age 2-3, what do you do? One slideshow/album per kid per year? One family slideshow/album per year?
For the first two years I printed out photos I took and stuck them in an old school album. Then I had kid #2 and it all fell to pieces.
And what about it videos? There are some amazing ones I don’t want to lose to the dusty cloud archive but how do you store them so you can watch them in a few years? My kids love watching themselves as babies :-).
Anonymous says
I have two external hard drives where I save copies of all my photos and videos.
Anonymous says
OP here. That’s where I am. But what do you DO with them? i’m not worried about losing them as I have them backed up in 100 places. But there are just so many! My kids aren’t going to flip through my external hard drive :)
AwayEmily says
Following! I use Chatbooks for photos — I love it. I just favorite photos on my iphone, and every time I get to another 60 favorites, it prints a Chatbook with them and sends it to me (one photo per page). That’s it. No layouts, no uploading, literally no work on my part except favoriting photos every few weeks while I’m watching TV. It’s so wonderful (we end up with a new one about every 3 months). It’s not as beautiful as a fancy album but I kind of like that — the kids often take them to bed with them to “read” and if one gets torn I can just order a new one for like $5.
Honestly, I want something like that for videos — I want to favorite my videos and then have them all woven together into a single video once a year and have that posted to a private YouTube channel.
Anonymous says
+1, I love Chatbooks. I do one per year for the family with an extra for any vacations, as they result in so many pics. Love the idea of making separate ones for each kid tho.
Ifiknew says
I cannot recommend this video company enough. Viddedit. No affiliation but have not found anyone else like them. I send them like 3 hours of home video footage every year and they send me a perfect 10minute video (you pick length) for the year which I then put on a private YouTube channel with a QR code and put in my shutterfly photo book for the year,so I have video and photos for the year all in one place.
There’s also amazing photo places that I have not used but if you don’t have time, they’ll compile your photos into an album. Shutterfly has something similar but i need to edit it significantly but still worth it.
AwayEmily says
Oh wow Viddedit sounds like EXACTLY what I want! Thank you!!!
Anon says
that company looks great, though a bit pricey, but maybe i’ll consider it.
Anon says
I design and print an annual album per kid. I have a couple weeks off from my job over Christmas and New Year’s so I normally do it then. It is fairly time-intensive but I enjoy it (although this year I suspect I will not enjoy it because of the glaring absence of extended family photos and vacation photos). I use Printique (formerly Adorama) to print the albums and they’re high quality. I don’t do anything with video except save to my computer.
Boston Legal Eagle says
We’ve been doing one family album per year on Shutterfly. It does take time to add all of the pictures and edit the captions, which we usually do around Christmas/New Years. I’ve also done a few Qeepsake albums for my younger one (you get a text with a prompt every few days, and you can add pics, and then they compile an album). I like the idea of that video software mentioned above. My husband used to do various milestone videos but if he doesn’t have time/interest this year, we may try that.
Anon says
We do this too. One family photo album per year.
We have a shared Google Photos album that we add nice pics to throughout the year – we usually end up with 100-150 photos of various events and milestones between all of us. The last week of December, we upload all of that to Shutterfly and have it create a book. We edit it a bit and add some captions where needed, then have it printed out. We actually order multiple copies so each kid will have a set of family “yearbooks” when they’re grown. Once you get into the habit of adding the photos to the album, it really takes very little time to pull together.
I didn’t start this until my youngest was 1, so I did have to invest some time to go back and create the Google albums for prior years and tried to get an “extra” year done each year until I caught up. We now have 8 years of family yearbooks displayed in our family room bookshelves and it’s one of my favorite things in the house. So fun to flip through a curated highlight reel of a given year rather than scroll through 1000s of photos to find the one nice one where everyone is smiling and has their eyes open.
Mary Moo Cow says
I did one big photo album for daycare years 0-4 (she was in the same place) that included the best photos and the best artwork from those years. “Best” is key — I tried “all,” but it was overwhelming. I thought I would forever cherish all the artwork but I don’t even remember the artwork I threw out before photographing or the photos I ultimately passed on.
I do one family yearbook per year.I set my phone to automatically back up photos to Shutterfly. At the beginning of each year, I save a photo book as a project and then a few times a year, I go into Shutterfly and pull my favorite pictures and save them into the project. I sometimes place them on the page, but usually just leave them in the photos tab to place later. Then, on a slow day in late December or early January, I finalize the book. I really like the suggested layouts and idea pages. Here, too, I’m selective about photos so it’s not a 300 page book. I also like to include captions or funny kid sayings.
Finally, about once a month I use the free prints feature on the Shutterfly app to order copies of photos that aren’t going in the yearbook, and I stick those in a photo album (the ones I like have space to write captions on the side; I usually identify the people in the photo and the date.)
All this is a work, but I enjoy it. Breaking it up over the course of the year helps, too
Anonymous says
We pay for google storage and it’s all there. Google organizes by date, and their facial recognition is decent (at least for white faces), so we’re pretty well able to find things with minimal frustration.
I do a family photoalbum (shutterfly or similar) each year. I have a photobox full of loose prints that I will someday organize into real albums, but if I never get around to it, the best photos are in the shutterfly album anyway.
octagon says
Same question, but how do you do when both you and spouse have 1000s of photos on your phones? Download them all into one shared library? I feel like I can’t get started until I solve this.
AnonATL says
We have a google photos account under my kid’s email. We periodically upload photos to the photo albums grouped by age and then grandparents/other family can view them. I plan to order books on shutterfly which has a google photos plug in so there’s no duplicate uploading. I also take pictures of his daycare arts and crafts to upload there.
I took the suggestion from here of sending him an email every now and then to document something special or if I’m just feeling sentimental. One day, he will have access to all the photos and emails.
AnonATL says
Oh forgot to add, my husband and I both have the google photos app on our phone and we manually upload through there. I think there’s also a setting where you can auto-backup your phones photos if you want it completely automated.
anon says
We also have a shared gmail account and we pay for extra storage. Everything gets automatically uploaded into the drive. Every month I go through it and select the best photos/videos for the month into an album, which makes it easy to dump into Shutterfly. It does mean that there are occasionally some weird pictures of pig insides (DH works on medical devices).
Anonymous says
I do a baby album for each kid that is focused on just them (as opposed to siblings, though they’re included in photos) and covers the first year of their lives. Then I (try to) do an annual family album. I’m on 2018 right now and really need to buckle down! It’s hard and time consuming but I love having them!
Cb says
Can someone with better search skills find the discussion about non-scary movies we had a few months ago? My child was traumatised by “that chocolate movie!” (thanks DH, stellar parenting there) but desperately wants to watch a “movie” rather than TV shows. He likes the 70s Winnie the Pooh and the live action Charlotte’s Web “I like that cute pink big, and the friendly spider!”
Anon says
https://corporettemoms.com/clinique-chubby-stick-moisturizing-lip-color-balm-review/#comment-245280
Anon says
I pasted a link but it went to m0d. The thread was on October 26th, the featured product that day was “chubby sticks” lipsticks.
Anon says
Sing! no bad guys. there’s one scene where there’s a big flood but even my easily scared kid didn’t mind it. It’s basically american idol with cartoon animals.
Anonymous says
Not sure if these made the discussion, but my kids (3, 5) who are sensitive to scary movies really love the Cars movies and Wall-E right now.
Anonymous says
Muppets movies work in our household. My kids were also okay with 101 Dalmations (we read the book first so they knew it was okay in the end), and the Lion King movies (they watched Lion Guard so they know that Simba, Nala and Kian are okay). Knowing that there is a happy ending coming seems to help.
Anonymous says
I watched 101 Dalmatians with my kids and while they were totally fine with it (in that I don’t think they realized the actual plot line and just enjoyed watching the dogs), to me it was a prime “WOW, Disney” example. You made a movie for 5 year olds premised on skinning pets?!
Anonymous says
To be fair, it’s positioned as a thing that an awful horrible ‘bad guy’ wants to do so my kids just took it as demonstrative of how awful CdeV was.
Anonymous says
I think the prospect of something like turning puppies into a coat is generally more horrifying to sensitive adults than to very young kids.
anon says
The Care Bears Movies are (or were) on Netflix. Also, I think there are longer paw patrol (and other similar shows) episodes.
Anon says
There’s a roughly hour-long Beat Bugs movie on Netflix that’s a hit with my almost 3 year old who’s currently going through a “scared of everything” phase.
Clementine says
Hey, thanks for listening when I was just… frustrated yesterday.
As an update – husband is still self isolating but his cold symptoms are almost totally gone. Also, yesterday I did in fact have him deep clean the basement and today he’s going through all the bins of kid stuff and folding/organizing and prepping stuff to give away. So… yes, I’m solo parenting, but I’m gonna have a super organized basement and attic.
One of the things somebody (maybe a therapist?) got me to do was to think ‘is there something you can ask for from your spouse that will stop any feelings of resentment? Well, this was it for me. And it was VERY effective.
Anon says
Glad to hear it!
Anonanonanon says
That list bit is something I’ve been practicing in my (second) marriage but could not state so eloquently. When I start to feel resentment, I stop and remind myself to hold that resentment for when I express how he could help lighten the load or reduce my stress and he refuses. Which has never happened. Always a good reminder to communicate what we need.
Anon says
Is anyone else’s daycare not even quarantining rooms when someone tests positive? I understand not closing the whole center, but we recently had our first positive cases in our center and they aren’t even quarantining any rooms. They said that if there’s “additional spread” within the center, then they would consider quarantining certain rooms…and that seems so sketchy. Our public schools move classrooms to virtual learning for 2 weeks if anyone in the classroom tests positive and I don’t really understand why our daycare is using a different standard.
Anonymous says
That seems pretty sketchy! Have you called public health to ask what they are supposed to do?
Clementine says
UHHHHH. Yeah, the only way mine wouldn’t quarantine a room would be if the kid hadn’t been in the center for a while (like a week to 10 days) prior to the positive test.
Because I’m in the thick of it:
Kid tested positive in Room A – all parents were immediately called to pick up their kids from Room A, as well as siblings. Parents of Room A got an email telling us we had close contact and are quarantined. Parents in other rooms get an email saying there was a case in the center, monitor your kids as always, but the center is staying open. Other rooms remained open, center remains open, Room A is closed. Kids who had close contact with Positive kid in room A (so… all of room A unless they were somehow out the week before) are officially – like ‘Health Department Info Sheet’ quarantined for 14 days from last contact and siblings are not allowed in daycare until the quarantine period is over.
Anon says
7-10 days seems excessive. Two days before symptom onset (or sample taken for positive test if no symptoms) is when you’re considered infectious for contact tracing per the CDC and is what our daycare and public health department both use.
OP, our daycare has had multiple positive cases that didn’t result in any room closures and it was because the person who tested positive had not been in the center for over 48 hours prior to becoming ill. Is it possible that’s the case with your daycare?
Anonymous says
This is how it works in my area as well. Close the room and quarantine the kids + families for 14 days.
Anonymous says
What are the state protocols? In MA they are quite clear and your center would be in violation IF and ONLY IF any of the people in the center were considered close contacts. In a daycare center I would be very skeptical if there were no close contacts.
Anonymous says
Oh, and FWIW also in MA re: elem schools, when someone tests postive, close contacts are notified and have to quarantine. A close contact is someone within 6′ for more than 15 minutes total.
In the schools, there are often no close contacts since the kids are often always 6′ apart. Sometimes kids play (masked) closer at recess so in that case they’d be a close contact. Busses are >6′ distance so kids are only close contacts if they are breaking the rules on busses.
anon says
Yeah, that seems problematic. Daycares around here are quarantining entire classrooms + siblings of anyone potentially exposed, even if the center stays open.
Katala says
Was it a child who tested positive? Our old daycare had a couple positive staff members, but they were very careful about who entered classrooms (teachers only vs. before-times when random staff might pop in to talk to a teacher or cover a break) and did not quarantine classes when an admin staff tested positive who did not enter classrooms.
Anon says
Interesting. Our school system is quarantining the classroom when a child tests positive, but shutting the whole school for two weeks when it’s staff! I guess the thought is that staff members are more likely to interact or be in the same spaces with each other. But maybe it’s different with daycare
Katala says
Yeah, they were very careful about who entered classrooms. The staff offices were able to be closed off from the hallway, so I do think there would be very little, if any, interaction between staff and children or teachers at closer than 6′. So no close contacts (unless between staff members, they may have had other staff quarantine if they were in contact with the positive cases but not sure about that).
Anon says
Yeah, ours only requires the kid or teacher that tests positive to be out of the center, so we pulled everyone out again. The administration is pretty “take it or leave it” with their policies and the other parents don’t appear to have the same level of concern.
My state seems to be on a fast track to herd immunity, so I’m hoping I still have a shred of sanity left when we get there.
Lucky? says
My parents have both had COVID. My in-laws have both had COVID. All four are recovering well. One had a “bad head cold,” two had a “really nasty flu” and one lost taste and smell. Feeling very, very grateful that they are all on the mend. And very glad we didn’t see any of them in November when all were ill. (My mom was a poll worker on election day in one of the’worst’ counties in the country. Dad went to an indoor church service where someone collapsed and then tested positive. Wearing your mask at the grocery store is not enough.)
So now the question becomes, what do we do about Christmas? I know longer have the potential guilt/fear that we are going to infect them. Seems unlikely that they are going to infect us. I’m not comfortable seeing my 97 yr-old grandma, I’m not comfortable seeing some siblings whose careers mean they interact with the public all day every day. But are we safe to see my parents? Am I thinking about this wrong?
Anonymous says
Follow the CDC guidance. The answer may be different for each person depending on how sick they were so it may just be easier to avoid everyone. https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/if-you-are-sick/end-home-isolation.html
anon says
I wouldn’t risk it. Maybe they have the antibodies, but there are people who have gotten sick with Covid again. I also wouldn’t be so sure that they can’t pass something onto you, even if they don’t have symptoms. This stuff is everywhere; no choice right now feels especially low-risk. I will admit that I’m coming at this from a cautious perspective for a number of reasons, but truly, one year off from Christmas is not going to hurt anyone.
Anonymous says
I don’t see any reason not to
NYCer says
How close (distance wise) are they to you? Can you drive or would it require more extensive travel?
If they are driving distance, I would feel comfortable seeing them if I were in your shoes.
Spirograph says
Same.
Anonymous says
+1
Anon says
To be conservative, I’d have them test again in 2 weeks and if they get a negative, I’d feel safe seeing them (I know CDC doesn’t “require” that, but it was our family’s rule when my sister had Covid in September). It would be very unlikely/impossible for them to contract it a second time between now and Christmas..but yes the antibodies seem only to last a couple months (that sister and her husband who had it in September are already testing negative for antibodies). Really stinks to go through Covid and have no lasting benefit!
Anonymous says
Antibodies are only one part of the immune response, and research connected to other parts of the immune response are much more optimistic and do show lasting benefit.
Anon says
This.
Anon says
Yes, true. But until we know more we kind of have to assume people *could* get it again in short order and continue with strict precautions
Anon says
But we have a lot of data by now that people are not getting it again. Covid has been widespread in the US for almost 9 months now. The fact that we’ve had such a trivially small number of people get it twice IS data that most people don’t get it again, at least within this timeframe. And even if you believe reinfection is possible a few months later, she’s talking about only a month or so after recovery – that’s been proven virtually impossible at this point. If you could get reinfected 30 days later we would have seen lots of reinfection in NYC in the spring, in AZ in July, in Wisconsin now, etc. The fact that none of these places have had significant reinfections during their respective surges is very compelling data that there is at least short term immunity.
Anon says
Personally, I would see them. There have been isolated reports of reinfection but it’s vanishingly rare given that we’ve had 13 million confirmed infections and only a handful of reinfections, and it’s almost impossible on so short a timeline. After 6 months I might be more hesitant (although it’s looking like immunity lasts longer than that) but they’ll probably have the vaccine by then. People aren’t contagious weeks after testing positive, but you could have them test again for peace of mind. The only reason my parents aren’t in our “bubble” is that we have a kid in daycare and we fear her getting an asymptomatic infection and passing it to them. If they’d already had it and survived, we would have no qualms about seeing them regularly.
Anonymous says
I agree with this. The response to Covid seems to be highly individual. The best indicator of how a person will respond to Covid is how they’ve already responded to Covid. Unless they’d jbeen hospitalized or suddenly have a new risk factor, the concern with getting folks who were “mildly” ill sick again seems small compared to the effects of isolation. Yes, they might get it (which is unlikely, see above), but not much more concerning than typical illnesses. Use good hygiene, stay home when you know you’re sick, etc., but other than that I wouldn’t take extreme precautions with someone I knew could handle Covid.
Anon says
Yup – even if reinfection did occur it’s very unlikely to be serious. It’s also a positive indicator that OP and her husband are unlikely to get seriously ill themselves (barring individual risk factors), since the response to Covid seems highly based on genetic factors. Of course I’m not suggesting that you burn your masks or start attending crowded indoor gatherings, but it would give me a lot of peace of mind knowing an older parent survived this with relatively mild illness.
Anonymous says
This has probably been discussed before, but searching online gave me a couple short posts. Talk to me about elf on the shelf. My kids are 3 and 5. I’ve never done it and they’ve never asked about it. It seems like it could be fun and be a way to add some magic to a tough year. We’re not into the “watching for bad behavior” angle, so I think it would be just a cute activity of finding the elf every morning. I do like the “kindness elf” idea. Am I delusional in considering adding this to my to-do list?
anon says
Are you ready to keep it up next year, when they inevitably ask because this year was so magical?
I am very anti-Elf because I don’t need that complication in my life. :) My kids have survived so far.
Anon says
+1. No need for that here in my book. We do the magic by having advent calendars (wooden advent calendar filled with candy that may be eaten with breakfast, blows her mind), all the lights, and special dispensation for nighttime flashlight walks to go see all the houses in our neighborhood decorated. Plus lots of holiday baking. My kid (3) squeals with excitement every time the neighbors’ (and our) lights click on, so thankfully it’s a low bar for making the magic happen.
Anonymous says
Our elf came a few years ago when my oldest was 5 and started to feel sad that friends had one and she didn’t. Our elf dropped a note on 12/1 introducing himself but letting us know that while he was assigned to us, he was also recently promoted to a role running the custom toy department and would be keeping tabs on the kids from afar. Now that he is in management he doesn’t do housecalls.
They got such a hoot out of it. Plus, every once in a while I’d have a surprise delivered. For example, we had cocoa and new mugs left on the front porch after a snowfall. There were tracks in the snow, too! There was a note from our elf saying he was very busy with all the new holiday orders but sent something along with one of our neighbor’s elves.
And on christmas, our elf sends one personalized gift along for each kid. Year 1 it was a personalized charm bracelet. We’ve also had custom name stamps, tote bags with the kids’ initials, etc.
You can scale this up or down as you see fit but it gave us the ability to check the elf box without committing to much of anything :) Your elf could work in the Food dept and send snacks. Or in the Reindeer Training dept and deliver random animal stuff like birdseed or whatever to feed the critters.
Anonymous says
If they aren’t asking for it, I wouldn’t introduce it. My husband gave in to our daughter’s demands for an elf, and now she complains that her elf is lazy because all he does is move around and occasionally play with her toys, and he doesn’t do the cool things her friends’ elves do like fishing for Goldfish crackers in a sinkful of blue jell-o or ziplining across the room hanging from a candy cane. Thanks, SAHMs, for making me feel even more guilty about all the ways I am failing my child.
Anonymous says
I’m a SAHM (came to this board as a working mom). I, nor do any of my SAHM friends, do that crazy crap. We’re busy enough throughout the day we don’t need assignments at night. I think it just more comes from people who are EXTRA, not working vs stay at home.
Anon says
Same. All the people I know who do it are working parents… I think it’s more the “overshare on social media” people who are into it
Anon says
Yeah it’s a “social media mom” thing not a SAHM thing.
Anon says
in your case this might be SAHMs, but i know plenty of working moms who are super into their elf. Everyone is into different things and i think social media definitely plays a role in making it seem like you have to do it in a certain way. someone i know from college (who is a full-time working attorney) still takes monthly pictures of their kid at age 8 with a sign in the same spot and someone else i know (who works for a tech company) takes these gorgeous monthly pictures for the first year and then these extremely elaborate coordinated pictures for every holiday/milestone from thereon out. sometimes seeing these things makes me feel bad and like i wish i did those things too, and you know what i’ve realized is that technically i probably do have the time, but i don’t have the energy/would rather spend my time in different ways and that is ok. that being said, i did see someone who put their elf in a very elaborate clear box set-up and said that the elf is in quarantine and will be there for 2 weeks so that now they dont have to move it every day
anon says
Holy cow to still taking monthly pictures of an 8-year-old. That is extra.
Agree that this is not a SAHM thing. It’s a thing perpetuated by the moms who refer to their children as “littles” (gag) and do everything to the Nth degree. I have a same-level coworker like this and have no clue how she has the energy and drive to be that extra with three kids and a full-time demanding job.
Anon says
Oh man, I thought my BFF was bad because she did monthly pictures until age 2 for all her kids. Eight years old is….something else.
CPA Lady says
I will only add additional events and “traditions” to my holidays that won’t make me angry or resentful. If the elf is a fun and whimsical thing you’d enjoy doing, go for it.
For me it would become an exhausting burden and part of the never ending arms race to make every single event and occasion as expensive, consumeristic, and elaborate as possible. Which makes me (obviously) quite resentful. If you couldn’t tell. :) So I skip it.
Anonanonanon says
I flat out told my kid this wasn’t real and was a think other parents did for fun and not to tell the other kids. They have displays of them in stores, so he wondered anyway. Also, it made him feel better since he was wondering why some kids did and we didn’t.
I just don’t have the bandwidth for this. There will always be kids whose moms are super elaborate with it and that’s not sustainable for my life right now.
We do fun advent calendars every year as a daily fun thing. My littlest as a Playmobil one (I did an fairly extensive search for one that didn’t count super small accessories as a toy for the day) and my older one gets the lego star wars one every year. I don’t have to do anything and they get a fun surprise every morning.
Anonymous says
My kiddo has always had one at school but never at home. That’s been good enough for her. She’s never asked about it. If she does, I plan to say “Santa sends elves to check on kids who haven’t made it onto the good list yet, and since you’re such a good girl, you don’t need an elf to keep watch on you.” Hopefully it’ll fly ;)
Anon says
look up busy toddler’s kindness countdown to christmas paper chain. seems much easier to me than elf on a shelf and is kindness focused and you could put your own twist on it
Anon says
Agh, I thought that looked hard! My kids don’t do great with forced niceness though unfortunately!
We do elf, but we do it as simply as possible. The elf moves, but there are never props or things like that – he JUST moves. We set a phone alarm to remind us – sometimes he doesn’t move and we just say, guess he didn’t go up to the north pole last night! My 5 and 4 year old still love it. Last night they left their christmas lists at his feet, and when the lists were gone this morning they were sooo excited.
Anon says
My 3 year old loves drawing but she just scribbles all over the paper. It seems like most other kids her age are drawing simple shapes and lines and things that at least vaguely resemble what they’re supposed to be. Is it normal to still be just scribbling at this age? Are there ways we can gently encourage her to draw actual shapes without squashing her creativity? I see Outschool has some guided drawing classes but I don’t really love the message that drawing is only worth doing if she draws in the way someone else suggests. I kind of love that she thinks her blue scribbles are a pumpkin or whatever.
AwayEmily says
My kid did not start drawing things that looked at all representative until she was 4.5 (though her classmates were doing it much earlier). Now she draws funny little people with belly buttons and giraffes and all sorts of things. Anyway, I would not worry about it, she’ll get there when she’s ready.
Anonymous says
Leave it alone. The love of drawing is more important than what she draws at this age.
AnotherAnon says
My 3.5 y/o boy is in Montessori day care (he’s struggling with it a little, if I’m being perfectly honest) and he only draws scribbles when they are given free time to draw. I wouldn’t worry about it. I’m with you: I super enjoy hearing his interpretation of what his monochromatic scribble actually is.
Anon says
According to our special ed teacher, at just before 3 my kid was only supposed to be able to draw lines (either horizontal or vertical, not diagonal) and something that approximates a circle. Anything else was advanced or just a bonus (part of her entire assessment, although DD’s just speech delayed, not fine motor). At a few months past 3, she has blossomed recently into sticks with round scribbles that represent flowers or people (I usually require clarity) and a narrative to accompany the scribbles. If it matters to you, our teacher recommended that you draw whatever it is you want them to draw (a line, circle, etc.) and then ask them to do it (i.e., a modeling approach).
Anon. says
Um, my 3.5 year old is only scribbling at this point when drawing for fun. I am not concerned at all. They do some handwriting without tears worksheets at daycare to practice letters and fine motor control and he seems to be able to follow along with that when guided. If you are generally okay with her fine motor skills, I wouldn’t spend any time worrying about it. Just shows she has a strong imagination!
Spirograph says
Yeah, my son is 4 and still scribbles. He can write his name and do a passable job of letters and numbers, so I figure it’s not a fine motor skills delay, just a lack of interest in representative drawing when doing it for fun. If your kid enjoys scribbling and then making up stories about it, leave her to it!
Anonymous says
May not be the most artistically advanced but sounds normal! My kindergartener only started drawing pictures around 4 and still
Only does rudimentary people, basic houses etc. with no attention to detail. Fine motor skills are fine, he can write well- just not interested! Some super interested kids draw well early but it’s definitely not all kids.