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Anonymous says
Help me think through when we can send our kid back to daycare after having Covid. DH started having symptoms on Tuesday, tested positive on Thursday. Kid had no symptoms until Saturday and tested positive Saturday. DH tests negative on Monday, kid is still positive. Today (Tuesday) everyone’s symptoms are gone (kid only ever had a runny nose for one day) but kid still tests positive. When can we send him back? Assume the daycare is not providing helpful guidance.
Anon says
After 10 days or when he tests negative, whatever comes first.
anon says
Specifically, two negative tests, 48 hours apart.
Anonymous says
I think that is for non-vaccinated. If vaccinated, the period is typically shorter.
Anonymous says
Check your local health department’s guidance. If it’s a licensed daycare, there’s a good chance they’re required to follow local health department rules (for all communicable diseases, not just Covid).
Bette says
There’s a CDC quarantine/isolation calculator that my daycare follows. Not posting the link to avoid moderation.
Anon says
We just went through this in MA. It may be different for you but for us it was if the kid tests negative on day 6 they can return. If not (we were in this camp) then the kid can return once the test negative between 6-10. If still positive on day 10, the kid can return on day 11 whether or not they’re positive.
CCLA says
This was the same for us in CA, with additional caveats around symptoms improving and no fever (without meds) for 24 hours. It was IIRC slightly more restrictive than the CDC guidance which didn’t require the negative test component.
Anon says
Our daycare requires isolation for 5 days. On day 6 you can return if you’re masked, and on day 11 you can stop the mask (personally I wouldn’t ditch the mask until testing negative, because masking is a pretty easy thing to do).
TheElms says
Will your kid wear a mask? If so I would say he can go back on day 6 after he tested postive, assuming at that point he is testing negative. So that would be Friday, I think. I’m sorry.
Anonymous says
+1. The day you test positive is day 0, not day 1.
Anonymous says
Thursday. 5 days after testing positive.
anon says
I’m so sorry the daycare isn’t providing helpful guidance. Helping parents understand the daycare’s health rules (which come from the local public health department and/or their licensing agency) is fully part of the director’s job.
As a former board member of a nonprofit child care center, I’d really want to know if this was happening so I could talk with the director and get them whatever support they needed so they could be more helpful.
anonn says
how old is your kid? when 22 month old tested positive on a Monday, we could not send him back until the following Friday. But I assume that’s because he’s too young to wear a mask. for everyone else I think they can wear a mask after a negative test until day 10. as an anecdote, he caught HFM in that one day back and was out another week.
Fallen says
Any favorite vacation ideas that are ideally driving distance from southern CT? Have an almost 10 year old and almost 5 year old and looking for ideas for April break and August.
Anon says
Bar Harbor Maine and Acadia national park would be great in August with kids those ages. A bit of a drive but doable.
Anon says
Sorry – didn’t see your note about Bar Harbor below! Bald Head Island in SC is also great (rent a house – no cars allowed on island… golf carts only!). More on the educational side: Colonial Williamsburg or Old Sturbridge Village.
Williamsburger says
I would do CW in April, not August. August is dreadfully hot and humid. The downside to April is that spring break is the most popular time to visit.
NYCer says
We generally fly, buy we like the Kennebunkport area in southern Maine.
NYCer says
This is for August btw! Maine is way too iffy in April weather-wise.
Anon says
For April, what about snow fun at Smuggler’s Notch in VT (assuming they have or have made snow)? We did spring break there a couple of times when I was a kid (from VA).
For August, we went to a summer wedding at Mohonk Mountain House in NY. It was super pricy (IMO) but lots of fun for all ages (and they have part-day kid camp, so you could get a bit of a break too)
Agree the DC-area is nice in April (but will be crowded for museums, etc.) but miserable in August.
We stayed for a few days in Amish country in PA one year on a working farm for spring break. I vividly remember kittens being born when we were there and it was the coolest thing ever to my then probably 12 year old or so self; I think we combined it with a few days near Luray Caverns and the Natural Bridge in VA to round out the week.
Fallen says
Any favorite vacation ideas that are ideally driving distance from southern CT (not a must, but strong preference given our bad luck and how our kids are on planes). Have an almost 10 year old and almost 5 year old and looking for ideas for April break and August. Past trips we enjoyed that were driving distance included Philly, Hershey park (kids favorite!), Bar Harbor, Lake George/Lake Placid, New Hampshire.
Anon says
April – DC or Boston or Burlington? Other ideas for August are the Berkshires, Cape May or somewhere else on Jersey shore, Block Island,
Anne-on says
If you haven’t done Boston yet I’d go there, it’s an easy drive and while it won’t be warm it won’t be frigid and there are tons of great kids museums/fun stuff to do.
You can also do one of the indoor water parks – there are Great Wolf Lodges in both MA and PA.
Anon says
For April, go south. New England is really not pleasant in April. I agree with DC, although I’d build in some downtime at a hotel pool or something like that so it’s not all monuments and museums. In August, Vermont (base yourselves in Burlington but get a car and drive around), Newport Rhode Island, Cape Cod/Nantucket/Martha’s Vineyard, Portland/Kennebunkport Maine would all be great.
Anonymous says
DC or NYC would be nice in April, DC being safer from a weather perspective.
AwayEmily says
I am in a state of decision paralysis/mild panic. We (me, my husband, 7yo, 5yo, and 15mo) will be going to southern France for five days in July — this is kind of a spur of the moment thing to celebrate a friend’s birthday. That part of the trip is set (we’re staying in a lovely place with a pool and will probably do a lot of relaxing) but it seems silly to go all the way to Europe for just 5 days so we want to tack on another trip beforehand. But…where? I suppose Paris makes the most sense, but I’m also tempted by Amsterdam or Copenhagen. Or maybe that’s too much flying? Honestly I also just need some reassurance that this entire trip is not a terrible idea. We are serious homebodies — the kids haven’t even been on a plane since 2019. Whenever I think about this trip, 50% of me is excited and 50% of me is full-out panicking.
anon says
Where are you going in southern France for the birthday? If you’re in the coastal part, you might enjoy going west to visit the Dodogne river valley for a totally different experience. Your kids would probably be smitten by Carcassonne. It’s like something out of a storybook. There are also smaller medieval cities like Sarlat-la-Caneda that are lovely to explore.
Avignon is another walled city that’s lovely depending on where you’ll be for the birthday.
Paris is also lovely and a great stop with kids. I wouldn’t overlook that option.
anon says
I was going to add that this suggest is really dependent on you renting a car. Hauling three kids and all of the stuff on a train sounds awful. With 5 people, including 3 kids, you cross the threshold where renting a car makes sense. Driving is pretty easy in smaller towns/villages and is totally manageable. I just wouldn’t plan to drive in Paris.
Anon says
I’m biased because I love Paris, but I’d definitely just do that. It’s such a great city and ease of traveling with kids would be a big factor for me. I wasn’t as big of fan on Amsterdam (the train ride from Amsterdam to Paris is beautiful though if that’s something your kids would be into). Never been to Copenhagen.
NYCer says
Tbh with so many little kids, I would probably just extend your time in the south of France. There are so many beautiful towns to visit in that area, and it will be easier than hauling everyone on a plane again. If you don’t want to do that, I would add on a few days Paris.
Anon says
+1 to staying put, this is definitely the easiest option and you won’t be bored.
Personally in Europe I find the countryside and small cities easier and more manageable than big cities with little kids, so if I were adding a second stop I’d be more inclined to add a place like Lyon or coastal Italy over Paris. We’ve been to Europe half a dozen times with kids and Paris was our least successful trip, which I think has more to do with the size of the city than anything else (we’ve never done other big cities like Rome, Madrid etc with kids).
Also this trip sounds so fun! I’m jealous. Your older kids are at the perfect age for it.
Seafinch says
I would do this. I love reading about the history in advance and then we visit locally and discuss. We had great luck with Usborne for this type of of prep. I can’t remember if it’s lavender harvest at that time but when we did a lot of traveling with kids that age in smaller cities in Europe we would focus on the local attractions so I would for sure do a tour of lavender fields etc. lots of walking, ice cream, cold rosé etc. Just soak up the local scene, make it an excursion to get the morning croissant every day.
Anonymous says
Idk why this is such a panic. Figure out where flights are easiest and do that. Like are you planning to fly to Paris and train to South or France, then I’d add time in Paris. Are you flying to Marseilles? Which airline and is there a sensible layover. It’s a great idea have fun you’ll be totally fine.
Anonymous says
Paris would be great! We went with a 2-year old a few years ago and spent five days in Paris, took the TGV to Nice and spent another 5 days there (with day trips). It was a fantastic vacation.
AwayEmily says
thank you! okay this is the push I needed to just go with Paris (the easier option). And to those of you saying Paris with kids was great — YAY! I may come back in a month or so to ask for more specific advice…I haven’t been in a decade and had kind of a crappy experience (was aggressively groped on my walk home one night on a major street — i was ultimately fine but it was terrifying and just gave the city a bad taste for me), so it will be good to hear more specifics about how wonderful it really is.
Anon says
read your kids lots of books that take place in france/paris before the trip and then they’ll be excited to see stuff
AwayEmily says
Brilliant.
Anon says
I was also groped and harassed aggressively in Paris, more than once. It’s an unpopular opinion for sure, but I don’t love that city. I’ve also found the stereotypes about Parisians being rude and not terribly welcoming to babies/toddlers to be true and I’m semi-fluent in French. Personally I would go to Spain or Italy, where I’ve found the people really warm and almost too tolerant of kids being loud and annoying, but I also think Amsterdam would be really fun and it won’t be too hot in July. We’ve spent a lot of time in Copenhagen because my husband’s a professor whose main collaborators are there, and while I really like the Danish people and think Copenhagen would be a great place to live I don’t think it’s the most exciting place for vacation, especially with elementary age kids. The food in Scandinavia might also be tough if your kids are at all picky. Not many elementary schoolers are down for pickled herring ;)
anonM says
I think we’re due for another parent “hack”/tip/tricks thread. I’ll start.
I finally tried using a cupcake tin for toppings. We did fish tacos, and the kids were so excited to put on their own toppings that they ate almost everything, including tons of veggies. Washing dishes was easier, but what was really nice was how much easier it was to set/clear the table without having 13 small topping bowls.
Cb says
It’s getting lighter/warmer here and I’m looking forward to picnic dinners. There’s a big playpark next to aftercare, and doing dinner/play/cycle home to roll into bedtime feels like such a help. Little clean up, lots of outdoor time for all of us.
FVNC says
Bath time during the day! Especially good for rainy or very cold days. We put one or both kids in the giant tub, turn on the jets, add bubble bath, and basically turn it into a bubble pit. When they’re in the right mood, this can keep them occupied for up to an hour. They’re old enough that they usually take showers, so baths are kind of a novelty for them.
Anon says
Secured a snack cup with handles to the rail of kid’s crib with a zip tie, to hold extra pacifiers. Cut way down on the middle of the night trips to help barely awake kid relocate pacifier and soothe herself back to sleep.
anon says
Damn, that’s brilliant. I am way past the baby days but that would’ve been very helpful with my first.
NLD in NYC says
Agree, tucking this away in case we have #2.
Anonymous says
Maybe this applies to more than just parents, but I finally started freezing all leftovers immediately vs refrigerating them – and it’s been so amazing!! Way less food waste because I don’t need to figure out how to use up the leftovers in a short timeframe, and it’s been so great to have so many more ready to go options to pull out of the freezer. Of course I can still use them the next day if I want to, but the flexibility has been so great. Probably I’m late to the train on this one and you all already do it, but it’s new for me and its been incredibly helpful now that we have older kids with later after school activities . It also goes for half a can of beans, half a can of crushed tomatoes, etc. I’m way more likely to add some beans to that stew when I’ve got them in the freezer.
anonM says
Me too! And I got some of those souper cubes- does make a difference in me actually using and rotating freezer meals!
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
I love freezing ingredients (tomato paste!) but not so much actual meals – they always taste not-as-good to me, and I feel like I can make a quick dinner in the time it’d take to warm up anyway.
I should try this muffin tin idea!
My “tip” – I’ve been pre-buying frozen garlic and ginger, brand is dorot. Highly recommend!
Anonymous says
I can’t get the Dorot pre-chopped garlic and ginger, so I freeze the bags of pre-peeled garlic cloves and peel fresh ginger to freeze. I grate the ginger and press the garlic while they are frozen. Much easier than dealing with fresh.
I also freeze ingredients (chipotles in adobo, even leftover wine) in those big silicone ice block molds.
Anonymous says
You can also buy bags of frozen chopped onions!
Vicky Austin says
Target has the frozen garlic and ginger under the G&G brand, too – and something else, basil maybe?
Tomato Paste Fail says
I just always assumed that with tomato paste, I would forever use half a can and let the other can rot in the fridge for 2 weeks before throwing it out. I never thought of freezing. Genius.
Anonymous says
I buy tomato paste in the tube to use when I need small amounts. It lasts a long time opened in the fridge.
Vicky Austin says
I like to put a tablespoon at a time in an ice cube tray (keep an old scruddy one around for this exact purpose). Then pop them all out into a freezer bag if I’m organized, or pop two out for a recipe straight from the tray if not. I also do this with chipotle in adobo and anything I want to turn into a dog treat (leftover canned pumpkin, plain yogurt, etc).
Anonymous says
Keep a bag of extra takeout utensils, a wine opener, a paring knife, and condiment** packets in the car. These along with a blanket has led to lots of fun impromptu picnics at playgrounds and parks.
**We’re in a very mild climate and park in garages at home and work. Ketchup and soy sauce packets are okay stored this way for a few months.
Anonymous says
We keep a potty in our SUV trunk. Has saved our hides numerous times between 3 kids. After trying multiple ones, the short Baby Bjorn potty is the best—stable, compact, and the inside piece is easy to “pour” and wipe down. Don’t get suckered into one of those collapsible potties that come with plastic bags…who the heck wants a baggie of toddler pee or poop.
Toddler travel bed? says
2-year-old is happily still in a crib at home but will likely have outgrown the travel crib by summer. She moves around a LOT in her sleep, so she’s definitely not ready for a regular bed. We have some trips planned for the summer, and we’re trying to figure out sleeping arrangements. Do those inflatable toddler beds work, or do they deflate in the night just like regular air mattresses?
Cb says
We had this travel bed tent thing that worked really well.
Anon says
Following – same situation with 2.5 year old. Last time we tried having him sleep in a bed (at grandma’s) neither of us slept…
TheElms says
Outgrown how? I know Pack n plays have height and weight limits. We have a Lotus Guava and because the mattress rests on the floor and the side zips open my 95% now almost 4 year old, was able to use it until almost 3 (including after she had transitioned to a toddler bed (we opened the zip door). I think she was about 38 inches tall when we decided she was too tall.
Anonymous says
We have the Lotus Guava, but because she basically sleeps like a flopping starfish, she runs into the sides and wakes up. It might work in a pinch, but it’s very likely that no one would get much sleep. I think it’d be fine for a weekend trip now, but not a week vacation.
TheElms says
Ahh got it. That’s tricky. What about a pop up beach tent with an inflatable mattress inside? We have a good one by Wolfwise on Amazon that pops up and then fold back into its bag reasonably easily once you figure out the steps (but they have good pictures on the tag).
Anonymous says
Thanks, I’ll check that out. One of the trips is a family reunion weekend, and we have 0 control over where we’re staying, so the tent could be really helpful. One of my husband’s superpowers is folding pop up tents back into their small pouches.
Anon says
Inflatable toddler bed worked fine for us. After a year is so of travel use, it’s currently my kid’s bed at her grandparents’ house and she sleeps over there regularly and has no complaints.
Anonymous says
Pack n play (our very large children could use them still at that age) or floor nest. I would vote floor nest if you are sharing a room because kids rustling around in pack n plays are very loud. Mine started floor nest by age 3 and at 4.5 and 8 one of them is used till in a floor nest for travel. (Just a bunch of blankets on the floor.)
Anon. says
We use the Hiccapop inflatable travel bed with great success. Similar situation, then 2 year old happily in crib but not ready for a big bed. It’s easier to pack than the travel crib in my opinion. We strapped it in the car seat before checking the seat in a big bag. Multiple trips, multiple uses, no deflation issues. We can get a room with one King bed and fit two inflatables on the floor.
Anon says
now that we are ~ 2 months post holidays, maybe everyone could share what were the biggest hits with their kids (like what are your kids still playing with). for my 4.5 year old girl twins, it is the game Zingo and their Great Pretenders Color Your Own Mermaid Skirt
TheElms says
Ohh this is a fun one, I like this!
For my almost 4 year old — bath bombs with little surprises inside, Candyland, toy dinosaurs with a toy volcano and playmat, the Melissa and Doug Ice Cream parlor set (and her general all time favorite toys continue to be playdoh and Magnatiles since about age 2).
For my almost 1 year old — a car that we can push her around the house in, “Never Touch a” … book, any toy that her big sister is holding, and some hand-me-down Lovevery toys (the ball run into the lock box and the car ramp – both of which have lots of dupes available).
Her birthday is this week and I think she is really going to like her new toys — a giant squishmallow stuffed animal that her sister picked out, a play sink that has running water, some more tactile books, and an inny outy bin.
Anon says
My 26 month old son has played with magnatiles everyday since Christmas. It’s so fun to watch him get better at building and how creative he gets. I need to buy more pieces!
Cb says
My 5.5 year old still plays with his magnatiles regularly. Ocean Bingo and Dinosaur Bingo are the board games with staying power.
FVNC says
Intricate Lego kits (kids are ages 9 and almost 6); the games Clue and Sorry. I love that our younger one is finally able to play board games, and we’re trying to do more of those!
They didn’t get any Magnatiles this year, but they remain a favorite toy.
Lily says
Played with constantly: The Encanto doll house, more plastic dishware and bakingware for play kitchen, LCD writing tablets (super cheap but awesome!), more tonies for tonie box, Peppa pig figurines (they already had the camper house), set of Angelina Ballerina board books.
Total dud: giant stuffed giraffe – it’s great quality and so cute (from Melissa and Doug) but would have been better in a nursery for a baby as part of the room decor. My 20 month old and 4 year old completely ignore it. I don’t totally regret it because of how cute it is, though, and since it doesn’t get played with I guess I can pass it onto family members having babies.
Anon says
For my 5.5YO it is the following winners (we were very successful at picking things she liked this year):
– Board game Bugs in the Kitchen (which she beat me at 5-0 twice last night, and we do not take it easy on her)
– Kid-sized matching apron to mine
– Nintendo Switch (we play only on the TV, she doesn’t know it can be handheld, and almost always as a family, and the hits are Mario Kart, Nintendo Sports bowling, monopoly junior and “helping” Dad play Legend of Zelda)
– expanded magnatiles packs so that we can build legit towers (this weekend we devoted two hours to building a 2 foot tall coin ramp and “decorating” it with triangles so the coins bounced like pinballs on the way down)
– new barbies and a new barbie car (we already have the camper, which is still in heavy rotation)
– all the consumable art supplies (playdoh, stickers, paint, googly eyes, pom poms, pipecleaners, popsicle sticks, glue)
– big kid sized hooded towels
Anon says
3-year-old girl – by far the most played with is magnatiles and duplos, but she is most interested in the “basic” pieces and not the “special” ones (e.g., I got her the arctic magnatiles set and she mostly reaches for the extra squares not the polar bear).
Runner-up is her new stuffed cats. She doesn’t like other stuffed animals or dolls. Just the cats. So that one probably isn’t helpful to other parents.
Anon. says
The artic expansion pack was a total miss for us despite Magna tiles being a daily win. My kid rejects even the extra squares because they have the print on them.
Unexpected win for just turned 3: a build a flower garden set. See Amazon for various options, no idea which specific one she got. The other day the kids were building flowers together and then created a store to sell them.
Anon says
My almost 5 year old girl doesn’t really like anything except Legos. I don’t know if I should be worried about how hyper-focused she is.
Anonymous says
From my 7YO between his Nov birthday and Christmas:
–What he asked for: a watch. This is the biggest hit! We got him a kid’s Timex digital watch with the usual alarm, stopwatch, timer functions and Indiglo (remember this!? Total nostalgia!). He is absolutely LOVING it. Added bonus: he’s now in charge of setting timers for his daily screen time allotment. Also, can I say how much it makes me happy that they still make these?
–Lego (of course): received a more technical ages 10+ kit that was fun and challenging to build. The finished build remains intact (miracle of miracles). Others received were the typical Minecraft and City kits—their pieces have since been morphed into free form creations, par for the course with all Lego at our house
–Microscope kit: super fun the first weekend for the whole fam. It’s been packed back into its carrying case and moved to the closet. Have not been brought back since then.
–Magic kit: this was super fun Christmas morning to showcase and perform (cousins all received the same from my parents). But it’s sitting in a closet now.
Anon says
Moms of older kids, what do you do for after school care? Have a rising middle schooler who doesn’t want to do the after school care anymore (“it is boring”). Do you just let them do their own thing at home? One of us can work from home if need be, but we do need to be working.
Meg says
Our middle school has activities available 3 days a week (with activity bus that brings home after), but interest has been hit or miss for my middle schooler. Mainly, he does his own thing and I trust that at this age he can be at home as needed by himself. Doing his own thing equals a lot of PS5 playing, but other things like running or practicing lacrosse too.
Anonymous says
I think being home is age appropriate for a rising middle schooler. Whether you need to be there after the first few weeks is a know your kid and state laws thing I guess, but I really can’t imagine not letting a 6th or 7th grader be home for a few hours after school. I work from home almost exclusively. My 7 year old comes home on the bus after school. I help her get her snack but then go back to work for about 45-60 minutes, and she is capable of handling herself during that time. She gets iPad time while she eats her snack and decompresses. She then does art or plays on her own until I wrap up work.
Anon says
This. I break from 4:30-5:00 to pick my 5YO kindergartener up from the bus stop, get her dinner and settled, but then she occupies herself until I surface around 6:30 or 7 to do grown-up dinner and get her in the bath. She uses the time to decompress, usually watches TV, does art, or plays with her dolls. I can’t imagine not letting a rising middle schooler stay home in the afternoons while I was WFH, but know your kid I guess. At that age, I guess the question for me would be around whether homework assistance was needed and he could responsibly and reliably focus on that without your involvement for a few hours (unless it’s an after dinner thing).
Anonymous says
Starting in 6th grade I was by myself/babysitting my brother after schools we’d be by ourselves for an hour or so and then a few days a week a college student would come drive us to swim team.
Anonymous says
Our 5th grader goes to various aftercare/afterschool programs 4 days a week until my husband can pick him up (often as early as 4:30). On Friday he is now self-dismissing and walking home, because I WFH on Fridays. We’re not comfortable with him being home along every day yet. Although we probably should be. He just sits and plays video games. Afterschool provides more exercise. Most of the middle schools in our area have free drop-in afterschool programs (clubs basically) and I am hoping he will do some of those a few days a week next year. If my husband got home later I would be more worried about it.
Anonymous says
PS – we’re in NYC so my worry right now is as much him getting home from school on foot safely as being home alone. We live at a dangerous intersection.
DLC says
My fifth grader comes home after school to an empty house, except twice a week she has after school tutoring. She just does her own thing. She is expected to empty the dishwasher before dinner though. And I hope that she practices piano, but that doesn’t always happen.
So Anon says
My oldest (in 6th grade) does afterschool activities 2-3 times per week (science club and math club) and comes home the other days. I WFH (for the time-being). On the days he comes home, I will give him a quick hello and check-in on the day (maybe 10 minutes) before he retreats to his bedroom. He does his homework and then is allowed to facetime friends or play videogames. He will happily stay in his room for several hours while I finish working for the day. I do think that middle school is the age where it is good to start giving that freedom to come home and do their own thing. Once the weather warms a bit, he will also walk to the local library with his friends and hang out there. (Library has a dedicated “teen area.”) In addition, I got him a phone so that he and I can coordinate where he will be and when. Some days, he decides that he doesn’t want to do one of the activities and head home. I have to say that texting with my middle schooler has been a delight I didn’t know I was missing.
Anon says
Can you tell me if this is within the spectrum of normal? Our 2 year old throws tantrums for 1hr+ on a regular basis. These tantrums are full on screaming. We stay calm and present for the most part and just try to ride it out each time it happens. We are both exhausted.
I am wondering if there is some behavioral issue we need to get evaluated for or if this is just an extreme version of the terrible twos? The teachers say he is fine at school. We also just welcomed a new baby, but he’s been having crazy tantrums long before I got pregnant. I try to give him as much one on one time and outdoor time before and after school as possible.
Anonymous says
What does ‘calm and present’ look like? This would have overwhelmed my middle kid. He just needs quiet to come down from an upsetting situation. Like asking ‘do you want a hug’ and sitting and holding him without talking. Or sometimes time alone in his crib at that age. Drinking water also helps – just hold a straw cup in front of him. Lots of talking and verbal comforting is just overwhelming for him and would only extend tantrums because it extends the overwhelm.
If it’s still an issue in a few months I would worry but right now it’s likely new baby related.
Anon says
My tantruming kid HATES being touched while she’s having a tantrum and also would never be able to sip out of a cup until she’d calmed down. Just another data point.
We have four kids and one really throws down. I’d say they’ve gotten shorter, but it’s still something that negatively impacts us and she just turned eight (sorry to share that!) After the tantrum she’s totally reasonable. At this age she just has to go off alone to calm down. An hour feels long to me, so hopefully duration will improve!
Anon says
Yes it’s normal.
Anon2 says
Seems normal. If he’s fine all week in daycare, he probably has a lot of decompressing to do. Some kids are more spirited/intense than others! You may have already considered this, but try loading him up with protein after school and allow him more time for sleep, if needed.
If it’s something more, he probably wouldn’t be considered for an evaluation until age 5 or later (based solely on tantrum length, absent myriad other concerning factors).
Anon says
Seems normal (not to be confused with average) to me, as I have a “spirited” kiddo who feels all emotions very intensely. We had success with a lot of Esme and Roy and singing the calming down songs they use to calm monster tantrums. There was also a daniel tiger count to 4 and let your anger go with hand motions and we had to extend it to 8 and make up a second verse and that helped sometimes. If quick intervention didn’t work (one of those, offering a hug, etc.) then we just ignored it until she was done and then talked about it and offered hugs after. By 3 she was at the point that I could tell her it was too loud and if she wanted to act like that she could go to her room and she often did and would come down for a hug a good while later once she had calmed down and we had talked about it.
Anon says
Yep normal but not average.
Anon says
That seems extreme to me. I have two kids who occasionally have tantrums but for much shorter periods of time.
EDAnon says
We talked to a psychologist about our 4yo during the pandemic. He said distraction is a valid solution to tantrums. I kind of thought you should wait calmly while the kid works it out and he said that isn’t true at all. Distraction works wonderfully for us most of the time. Calm hugs, time-in, etc. did not work for our kids.
Anon says
That was always my take too. I think this gentle parenting let your kid “work through their feelings” or scream nonstop for as long as they need approach is not actually that healing or helpful in real life. Adults sometimes need distraction too. It can be a relief. Even a time out can help your kid process and then hug and move on and feel less out of control in the long run.
Anon says
ideas for non-messy non-perishable not totally junk snacks for kids? not nuts bc they won’t eat those.
startup lawyer says
dried mango
CCLA says
I stock in my car and our backpack we take on longer day trips with the kids (4 and 6): applesauce pouches, that’s it fruit bars, kind bars, and Justin nut butter packets (have to be the ones with honey or something…they won’t do the straight up PB with nothing added). I know you said they won’t eat nuts, not sure if that extends to kind bars and the like.
Anon says
Applesauce pouches (or cups if your kids are past the pouch stage). Veggie straws. Popcorn (whole grains!). Peanut butter (or peanut butter and nutella) sandwiches are perishable but don’t need refrigeration if that is the goal you are trying to solve; in my high school years I used to keep a loaf of bread and jar of peanut butter in my car to make peanut butter sandwiches for my pre-practice snacks after school. Bags of cheerios or other not completely junk cereal was a mainstay at that age too.
OP says
thanks all. kids dont like applesauce. my issue with things like cheerios, peanut butter crackers, etc. is that they generate so. many. crumbs. still from my 4.5 year old twins and sometimes i need to let them eat in the car but i dont love the mess. one kiddo especially gets very very very hangry
AwayEmily says
we had to try a lot of bars before we found the ones my kids would reliably eat. And of course they eat different ones, and their choices bear no logical resemblance to their other preferences. My 5yo, who hates peanut butter, will only eat the peanut butter and chocolate Lara Bar. My 6yo, who loves peanut butter, eats this one random nut-free one from Target. Neither will eat Kind bars.
Both kids love dried apricots.
Anon says
I think they have a fair amount of sugar (we’re not very strict with sweets) but my kid loves these whole wheat strawberry fig bars. And we recently took them on a trip and several other kids came up to us and mentioned how good they are, so I guess they’re popular.
TheElms says
I think you might have to accept some crumbs. Cheerios aren’t that terrible for crumbs, compared to crackers. What about Hippeas, dried fruit, fruit cups in water or juice with no added sugar (drain the liquid before you give it to the kids), fruit leather with no added sugar, shelf stable horizon milk boxes, pretzels, pretzels filled with pb or almond butter, Skout bars, and lara bars.
Anonymous says
A month ago DH said he was thinking about switching health insurance. I said that’s fine, but please check that out son’s prescription was covered. He said he did. Fast forward to today and I find out this prescription ISNT covered: we have to pay out of pocket for it. And there’s a shortage of the medicine. And the specialty pharmacy can’t find the prescription (I can see the correct rxbin on my email). This is really frustrating.
OOO says
I would be livid if my DH dropped the ball like this, but also not surprised. Your DH should now be responsible for finding the meds and managing the cost.
Clementine says
Wanted to share a funny boss mom moment – a few weeks ago, we were on the same flight as a colleague. When i say we, I mean the whole fam, including Baby, Toddler, and young Elementary.
Colleague has a really positive view of me (which is nice) as somebody who gets things done, figures it out, and somebody who isn’t intimidated. Today she told me this and then said, ‘I wasn’t prepared to meet the Mary Poppins side of you with a baby strapped to your chest.’
It was hilariously reassuring because I realized – I still have somehow maintained my professional persona in spite of being Mom.
AwayEmily says
I love this story. Boss mom!
Cb says
Aww, I love this!
Anon says
Any opinions on how to chose a boy name? I don’t know why I’m struggling so much, I just feel very opinionated on girl names and meh to boy names. It feels like everything is either really traditional/common or really trendy/out there.
NYCer says
No help, but I definitely felt this way too when we first started trying for a baby. We ended up having two girls, so we didn’t delve far into the boy names, but I do really like the names Julian (or Julien), Silas and Bennett.
Anne-on says
I love Bennett (and there are 3 in my son’s school so it must be popular) but my husband nixed that one as ‘too out there’.
Vicky Austin says
Bennett is the name of my very traditional Texan boss’ grandson, so I think it’s moved into the mainstream!
Anon says
Proud mum of a Silas!
anon says
The SSA’s list of baby boy names is helpful. You can start looking farther down the list to get ideas of names that aren’t too common.
HSAL says
I did this. I literally started at 1000 and worked my way up. Found our name in the 600s.
Anon says
We did the same on a long car ride – ended up in the same place we started (a name in the 300s), but it was at least an entertaining few hours.
Anon says
I have three boys, and it is hard. My husband went to an all-boys school and nixed a lot of names by association! There was one name I always liked since childhood, so we used that for the first baby. After that, we literally read every baby name list we could find, chose a couple decent options (none were “love”) and finally just picked one at the last minute. It’s true that your kid grows into his name, and we have ended up loving the names with time.
Cb says
I had a long list of girls names, and only 2 boy names (Benjamin and Theodore). Good thing we had a boy, because I think we lost the list the week before I gave birth. We have a very silly surname, and Benjamin would have sounded like a Beatrix Potter character, so went with the second.
Vicky Austin says
I certainly don’t expect you to divulge your surname, but I have to confess how curious I am what qualifies as a silly one!
Anon says
I love Theodore as a boys name and Theo as a nickname.
Anon says
I had good luck with family surnames as inspiration. If I had a boy, I planned to use my grandmother’s maiden name as a first name.
Anonymous says
I’ve never admitted this IRL but for our oldest we had 6 or 8 names that were “fine” so we just did a bracket and flipped a coin until one won. I’m not obsessed with his name or anything but at age 6 it seems to fit him.
Anne-on says
Hard same, and a lot of the common boys names we grew up with are ‘out’ – like I haven’t met a child named Ted, Ryan, Justin, Nick, James/Jim in ages. ‘Classic’ and religious names are safe but not particularly exciting (Mark, John, Matthew, Luke, Benjamin, Joshua, Henry). I was leaning towards literary names but my husband was totally not down for Nathaniel (Nate), Theodore (Theo/Teddy), or overly Irish names (so no Ryan/Liam/etc.).
Anon says
I think James is very popular right now, actually! I have two boys in elementary school and they’ve each had at least one James in every class. They also have two second cousins named James. I’ve met a smattering of Ryans, too. And my third baby, Theodore, is often called Ted! Maybe it’s regional…we’re in the northeast.
NYCer says
+1. My daughter also has a James in her preschool class.
And my cousin has a son named Nick. We also know a Nicolas, who goes by Nico.
Vicky Austin says
My BFF just had a baby Theodore and they’re choosing to call him Teddy!
Anon says
Ted(dy) is a common nickname for Theodore which is very popular now.
Anon says
No advice, I had trouble picking a boy name two, luckily had 2 girls. But one name I always loved for a boy, but my husband vetoed, was Gabriel/Gabe. I am not religious, but I think it’s’ a really nice name. I also loved Walter/Walt, which I know sounds like an old man, but being a huge Anne of Green Gables fan, Walter just always spoke to me.
Anon says
Yes! Walter! (Says the mother of Cecily…)
I would have done Gilbert. DH would never…
Anonymous says
We had a lot of trouble with boy names because many of the ones we liked sounded like bullies or had negative associations from the news.
Vicky Austin says
I’ve been just the opposite – girl names are the struggle! I think we finally found a couple we like though. Hang in there.
(We had our boy name agreed on years ago when my husband’s grandpa passed, so I don’t have any ideas to spark your fancy, either. Sorry :( )
anonM says
We had a list of names when we went to the hospital, and then he looked like one of the names, making it pretty easy once we met him.
Clementine says
We had a list of maybe 6 boy names, developed by each of us and with probably 500 names vetoed by each of us.
Husband liked Irish and ‘folk singer’ names: Keegan, Leland, Kian which I didn’t think worked with our family name while I liked biblical names (Levi, Ezekiel, Jonah, Micah) which he didn’t like. Eventually we found shared criteria:
-nobody we knew well had this name
-easy to spell/pronounce
-didn’t end in -son
-went with middle and last names
We love our son’s name (and it fits him well). Younger son was named by his birth mom.
Anon-ish says
We ended up naming our son after my husband’s favorite Scotch. We couldn’t find a name we agreed on and I threw out that one in a fit of frustration. After a minute or so, we realized we really liked it. It also suits our son.
Most people assume it’s a family name and the ones that know right away become friends. 🤷🏼♀️
Anon says
Omg I’m dying to know the name. I’m imagining Lagavulin or something like that 🤣
Anonymous says
Not the OP but my husbands name is Jameson.
Spirograph says
Me too! My Scotch-loving husband suggested Dalwhinnie as the name for one of our kids, but I vetoed it. You could totally get away with Glenn as a nickname for many scotches…
Anon-ish says
Macallan. ;)
Anon says
That was my guess after googling a list of Scotch brands! I like it. Apparently it also means “a son of a handsome man” so double win for your husband there.
Anon says
I love our son’s name so much, and we haven’t met another. Clark! It fits him so well, and he’s the best kid in the world.
Also, hi friends who know I read this board.
Seafinch says
I absolutely love the name Clark and recommend it all the time. It’s too Anglo for our evil Bond villian German surname but I am delighted to read here of one.
Anon says
I can think of a couple influencers with Clarks! I think it’s fairly trendy now.
Anon. says
My Clark is pretty phenomenal little dude too! And I continue to adore the name. I only know one other Clark in real life.
Anon says
My sister almost named her son(s) Clark…but my mother is from Boston and she wasn’t keen on having a Clock!
Anon says
Hahaha. My 5 year old can’t say “r” very well so she talks with what sounds like a Boston accent. Our last name is Miller and it comes out “mill-ah”
Anon says
This was my parents. They had a girls name picked out months in advance, but they couldn’t agree on a boys name and never settled on one until I was 3 (!) at which point they decided I would have been a Ross. Which would have been pretty horrible because Friends was huge in my middle and high school years. Glad I was a girl.
Squeak says
I totally get that! My partner and I were doing a boy name chat recently, as our local government had just released the list of names of babies born in 2022. Those are actually fun places to start too! Just google “babies born in 2022 names”. There should be lists for a few places!
My personal favourite boy names are always the french ones, but I do think that French names only work with French surnames. If you have one, I love Serge and Bernard, as well as Sylvain. Also, you can see if there’s a “masculine” version of your favourite girl names? My parents did this in the event that my brother was a girl.
Anon says
I saw a couple people mention it so I’m curious. Is it actually a thing that people match the ethnicity of the first name to the surname? Our name is a long, unpronounceable Czech name and it never even occurred to me we would give our kids Eastern European first names.
Anonymous says
I have a not-so-long, but Americans generally mispronounce it Czech surname and we did give our kids Eastern European first names, we just picked ones that are pretty mainstream for America too. Alexander, not Yvgeniy