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Anonymous says
I missed commenting on the ‘how are you’ post yesterday when I got swamped, but I was the poster from a few weeks back whose husband was recovering from major surgery. Things are SO much better now – he’s able to help now quite a lot, we have his second surgery scheduled so we have a timeline for ‘normal’ life starting again hopefully some time this summer, and we re-onboarded our old nanny to help so I can travel next week for work. I’m still struggling of course, but it did help to read from all of you yesterday who are in different ways struggling and all trying to make it work.
I also like hearing from anyone w/ ADHD/anxiety/2e kiddos. My oldest is finally on a better path after multiple evals and lots of therapy and thank god, the best teacher he could possibly have. We are insanely lucky that he doesn’t have any problems at school (I really credit his teacher with that) and that he finds so much enrichment in chess and his other extra curriculars, but I just want him to be happy, you know?
Anonymous says
my 2e kid has adhd and while she doesn’t have an anxiety diagnosis, she’s definitely an “anxious spiral” kind of person. I’ve realized that what I, and my other 2 kids, consider happiness doesn’t necessarily equate to hers. She doesn’t get invited to a lot of friends houses, but that really doesn’t bother her. I let her know we can have playdates here when she wants them and honestly, a lot of the time she’d rather do her own thing. She has kids to play with at recess when she wants to. She doesn’t have a core group or a BFF in the way that my other kids do, but she has friends and is a friendly kid. She has tons of hobbies and has kids within each hobby that she likes to spend time with.
She pushed back hard against most sports, but has taken an interest in running and we found a series of races for her to do…and she’s been asking every day to “train” ie run around listening to music and it just warms my heart to see her getting into it.
anon says
Do you have any parenting tips for stopping the anxiety spirals? My 2E 7yo is only diagnosed ADHD, but I’ve been wondering if trying to treat her pretty clear anxiety would help with the meltdowns. She’s in play therapy, but that’s it at the moment.
Anonymous says
I also really like hearing from ASD/ADHD families. I have an ASD preK kid and while we’re finally in a good place in terms of therapies and supports and he loves his school, I have a persistent worry that we won’t always be able to provide the support he needs to thrive.
Anon says
Hi all. I really appreciated reading all the posts yesterday. I’m the poster with the depressed DH.
DH is doing better and things feel more or less like our “normal”. Needless to say I was shook HARD when he shared his feelings, including where he was struggling with us, and I feel like I’ve finally found my own footing again, thanks to all the various supports in my life (including this community). We also had a few dates and social time with other couples in this time which I think oddly helped.
The hard thing here is he hasn’t actually gotten any professional help (and we define this pretty broadly – whether it’s therapy, acupuncture, or something “woo-woo”) and I do think he needs it to break this pattern (e.g. he gets depressed – everything/everyone is terrible/he’s the victim/he hates his life – then he processes on his own and thinks he’s fine). He is currently in a crazy sprint at work by even his industry standards (BigLaw), so once there’s a lull I’m going to see if he’s open to go back to our couple’s therapist, even if for a few sessions. If not, at the very least, we will have a conversation to assess what is needed/where he’s at.
Other than that, I’m thankful the kids are mostly good – 3 yo’s tantrums are PEAK right now so I finally after years of start/stop have dug into How to Talk to Little Kids Will Listen and it has been helpful. He’s also my kid in ST, and his therapist is thrilled with his progress, which is exciting while also a lesson to me that he’s on his own timeline, not mine.
Work is solid – I have some really exciting projects and exposure, which I’m thankful for after a very hard year in this realm last year.
Anonymous says
Glad to hear this update OP – hope things continue to get easier.
Anon says
When did your kid(s) learn to read? My kid is almost 6.5 years old and in her first year of K. She is making progress but I am surprised at the effort we put in. We’ve done about half of 100 lessons book and she’s now reading to me daily for a school fundraiser. She’s making progress and can read level 1 books with supervision.
I learned to read at 3 and it really means nothing except for the fact that I don’t recall learning to read. I honestly thought with a few lessons and some months of kinder she’d just get it. Now I’m seeing it takes solid and consistent effort.
I’m just wondering what everyone else’s experience has been!
anon says
My child learned to read in beginning/middle of K. After the teacher made a comment in October to me that many kids in the class were already reading I did start doing things with her, working on CVC words mostly, then moving on to vowel pairs etc. Using a few hooked on phonics books, writing words on post its and having her go get the one that said “dog” etc. I started seeing progress pretty quickly. I don’t know if it was me or the class but probably both. The teacher told me just recently she is ahead for her grade level and is in the highest “reading group” after starting out in on of the middle ones.
Here is the deal though: I know for a fact that many parents spent the summer before K teaching their kids to read. A lot of them used that 100 days book you are using (godspeed, because I found that book so dry). We did camp and swimming and fun, no reading or anything. I felt super guilty about this in the fall. And my kid is now in the same place as those other kids. So I beat myself up for NO REASON.
In the course of this process I spent a lot of time studying reading and these are my conclusions:
– for a lot of kids it is developmental and tied to age/maturity
– with the curriculum some schools are using, and the large class sizes, I think it does take individual attention from parents.
– to follow up on the above, our school seems to be incorporating a lot of phonics, but still clings to the “whole language” nonsense (read the transcript or listen to the “sold a story” podcast) in some aspects, like “sight words”. There are really not that many “sight words” that don’t follow the phonics rules, but they make them memorize/guess those. There are still affects of whole language like “look at the picture” going on in our school. Phonics is the way for most kids.
Cb says
Our school is wholly phonics, but I found flashcards for the most common words helpful in increasing speed/confidence. Once it didn’t feel like such a slog, he was happier to read.
Anonymous says
Phonics supplemented by a few sight words–high-frequency words and words that don’t follow the phonics rules–is the way.
Lyssa says
I don’t really remember learning to read – it just feels like I always understood it, though I do think I was probably older than 3, I assume Kindergarden-ish.
For both my kids, they could recognize/sound-out some words and maybe work out a sentence or two in pre-K and Kinder, but at some point mid-1st, it was as if it suddenly clicked and they really seemed to “get” it, and could pick up a children’s book and just read to understand. It was (like so many things with young kids), one of those things that happens very slowly and then very suddenly.
Cb says
I learnt to read at 3 as well, with my nana teaching me, and I kind of assumed my son would be the same (he’s super verbal, speaks like a much older child, can listen to something with no visual cues and understand it) but it’s been much slower.
He is 6.5 as well, but in year 2 of school. He went into P1 able to identify letters and a few CVC words, and progressed during his first year of school, but it didn’t really click click until the autumn. Over the summer, we did a bunch of sightword flashcards and practice with reading books. Now he’s very confidently reading the early reader chapter books (Claude, Algy’s Adventures, etc) and picking up sentences in the wild, but he doesn’t pick up books to read independently.
GCA says
This was my experience with my older kid: verbal, articulate, great listening comprehension…and reading did not truly click for him till fall of first grade (age 6.5).
Second kid: verbal, articulate, great listening comprehension, was sounding out CVC words right before kindergarten… and has made real and significant progress in kindergarten.
I do think that intentional, consistent practice makes a difference, like with any other skill. No matter who is doing it (parent or teacher) – if they are getting systematic, phonics-based practice, kids in developmentally normal range should be making progress.
Of course reading is an essential foundation for other kinds of learning (hence the shift around 2nd/ 3rd grade towards reading-to-learn), but as an early reader, I will add that early reading is not an indicator of:
– further willingness to read
– how much or what they will love to read in future
– other kinds of academic ability!
Anonymous says
As far as I can tell my daughter learned to read from the TV and by osmosis. She sounded out her first word before age 2, recognized her first sight words at 25 months, and was reading chapter books at age 3. Before anyone downplays this as hyperlexia, no, she was not just decoding and actually understood the meaning of the text. My mom “taught” me to read when I was 4 and all I remember is that I was mad that she made me read primers and flash cards because I could already read real books.
I moonlighted as a tutor for several years when I was just out of college. That experience convinced me that most kids who don’t naturally pick up reading on their own or learn from a parent at home are not going to learn to read well in school. Kids need one-on-one phonics instruction and to read aloud with an adult in an interactive way. I also believe that most kids do better learning at age 3 or 4 than at age 6. Preschoolers are naturally curious and primed to learn and don’t even realize that learning to read is work. For them it’s just another fun exploration of their world. By the time they get to kindergarten, especially at the older and older ages when they are starting K these days, they are more resistant to putting in the effort required, and the way reading is taught in schools makes it into a dreary chore.
Anon says
This is the exact opposite of what the research shows. Reading too early often means the child is learning shortcuts or workarounds, or wiring their brain in unideal ways, which may make it harder down the road. The ideal time to read is more like 6 or 7. Your daughter sounds like a special case and if a child initiates, then great, run with that at any age. But definitely do not make it seem like preschoolers should be formally taught (anything).
Anonymous says
My experience working with kids in elementary school made me think that most of these kids had missed the optimal window and were too old and resistant.
Anon says
Too old by kindergarten? That’s nuts.
anon says
Germany (reading instruction begins at 6) and Finland (reading instruction begins at 7) would like a word.
Anon says
Clarifying: the broader point that preschoolers are primed to learn is definitely true — but through play, being read to, and initiating their own activities. Formal teaching at that age is not great. And honestly it’s a sad commentary on our approach to education that we notice children have the desire to learn drilled out of them in kindergarten!
Anon says
+1 million!
Anonymous says
The point is that parents should take advantage of preschoolers’ natural inclination to learn by reading interactively with them every single day, by pointing out sight words in the environment, by talking about letter sounds, by letting them watch Sesame Street and other high-quality educational shows, etc. In this way many kids will naturally learn to read or will pick up the foundations that enable them to learn to read quickly and easily once formal instruction begins. If you don’t do any of this and rely on kindergarten worksheets, you are setting your child up for frustration.
Anon says
“Many” kids do not naturally learn to read this way. It happens but it’s rare. It takes work for most people.
I agree about reading aloud but beyond that it really depends on your kid; mine had didn’t even have that much interest in being read to in preschool, and she would have been extremely resistant to any discussion about letter sounds or sight words. If your kid is interested in that it’s fine to lean into it, but many are not.
anon says
My child attends a lab school focused on literacy development, and one of their foundational principles is that reading is *not* a natural skill that your kids will pick up on their own. I learned to read incredibly early (I was reading adult scifi novels to myself by age 4), but I was both gifted to the degree that I was not normal, and my parents were educators who did crazy things like start letter flashcards before I could talk (I don’t recommend this). My son is also gifted and probably to the degree that it’s going to make him not-normal as well, but we’re not drilling him like my parents did me. He’s 3.5 and doing super well with early literacy concepts (knows all his letters and numbers, is sounding out words, can write most of the letters) but all of that is from instruction at his school and games at home. None of it is osmosis.
Anon says
Yeah I know a handful of kids who read before K but in all cases the kids are both 1) super smart and 2) taught extensively at home. It’s incredibly rare for kids, even very bright kids, to learn truly by osmosis.
Anonymous says
but this is hyperlexia — it’s poorly understood; the top researcher theorized there were 3 types (decoding, reading, and autism); there’s also a theory that it’s related to but the opposite of dyslexia. top researcher died recently though (5-10 years ago)… professor treffert.
FVNC says
This varies so widely. My now-10 yr old taught herself to read by age 4. She entered K when she was not quite 5 (her birthday was 5 days before cut-off) and was reading simple chapter books like Ivy & Bean. Her reading is still above-average, I’d say, but now that she’s in a 5th grade advanced academic class, she’s basically on par with her classmates.
In contrast, my almost-7 year old first grader is solidly in the learning to read phase. Our elem school has a strong, phonics-based reading program and he’s progressing well. It’s really cool to see him apply the rules he’s learning in class and see his progress, which we didn’t see at all with our daughter since she taught herself. Our son’s teacher, and other teachers we know, have emphasized that reading is a developmental milestone and that has really helped me from feeling like our son is “behind” (he’s not, we just had an atypical experience with our older child, which for us was “typical” since it was our only experience).
AwayEmily says
Yes, I want to really emphasize the huge and very normal variation. It clicks for different kids at different times, and as long as they are making progress and the teachers aren’t concerned (and, of course, they’re in a phonics-based curriculum), then I’d keep reading to them, keep getting them books they’re interested in, and trust that it will sort itself out.
My now-second-grader has been solidly average throughout her time in elementary, plodded her way through phonics, and only now is getting into chapter books (Babysitters Club, woohoo!). My other kid, who is in kindergarten, is almost at his sister’s level after just five months of school. We never did anything specific with them at home (no lessons, no cards, nothing but lots and lots of reading aloud).
Anonymous says
I have 3 kids and had a similar experience. What’s interesting is that my middle kid struggled most because she hated all the books at her level. We eventually found some series that worked for her, including all the I Survived books, and that helped tremendously.
Anonymous says
My son is 11 and I don’t really remember when exactly he learned because the continuum was so vague to me – what counts as reading at first is pretty minimal. I think he officially learned in Kindergarten–we did almost nothing at home other than reading aloud–which for him was 5. He has a very good memory though, so I think he also had a lot of sight words. I have no memory of learning to read. I don’t think I was particularly early or late.
Anon says
I learned towards the end of first grade when I was almost 7, and later ended up being identified as exceptionally gifted based on IQ, so reading “late” isn’t necessarily evidence of being mediocre academically in general.
My daughter just turned 6 and is in K. She can sound out some simple words and has memorized a few sight words but is not close to reading fluently. A lot of her class is reading – it’s public school but a pretty academically focused district – but her teacher isn’t concerned, and I’m not terribly concerned based on my own experience. She scored above 90th percentile on standardized reading tests, which was a good reminder that you can below average in a very competitive school and stil well above average overall.
Anonymous says
all 3 of my kids are very strong readers but they’ve always been like that. I would say age 4.5 for all of them was when they did early reading/very basic sight words. With my oldest, we both put in a lot more effort AND she’s one of the oldest kids in her grade. She was reading books like “princess in black” by herself by march of kindergarten, which was a blessing because that happened to be the year of COVID and everything shut down. Many of her kindergarten peers were not yet reading at all yet at that point.
My second kid seemed to me like she was struggling to learn. In hindsight, she’s an easily frustrated kid who hated not being able to read. So she just didn’t around me. Her K and 1st teachers always said she was grade level or better but I could see a big difference in her vs her older sister. I didn’t push and now, in 2nd grade, she just exploded with interest and skill in reading. She’s reading books that are assigned to 4th graders happily and fluently. Her ELA testing is excellent, reading comprehension is 99%tile. All that to say, even if your kid is struggling or seeming to struggle now, it might just need time.
My 3rd kid is just now turning the corner on fluent reading. She won’t turn 6 until July so again, I think maturity is a bit in play here. She reads things like Princess in Black herself, but she also has a killer memory and knows most of the books she’s “reading” by heart. She can do elephant and piggie cold though :)
In every case, teachers have assured me it will come and if your mom gut is telling you there is an issue, keep an eye on it. It will likely sort itself out by the end of 1st grade but you want to keep a pulse on things in case it doesn’t. IN our district end of 1st is when a lot of kids are diagnosed with reading problems.
anon says
As a big reader myself, I was really eager for my daughter to reach the stage of being engrossed in chapter books on her own. While she could read words in books and on worksheets in K and 1st grade, being totally focused on chapter books was like a light switch mid 2nd grade. As a parent who wanted my child to have a love of reading, I decided to let school teach the mechanics, and focus on reading to her, finding books and series she loved, and making sure that reading was enjoyable, not a chore. When the switch flipped, it was because she wanted to find out what happened faster than we could read it to her.
Anonymous says
I don’t remember when I learned to read (although I loved reading and still do). Both of my kids learned to read in K with a phonics based curriculum in school- seven year old is in 1st grade and can read pretty well and the five year old is showing some amazing progress now in K. The effort on our part was reading to/with them at night, and biweekly trips to the library since they were toddlers so they can pick out books they are interested in.
On one of those trips to the library I saw a mom forcing her young daughter to read aloud and it was clearly torture for both of them and it just seemed like she was setting her daughter up to hate reading. I’ve tried to keep it laid back and fun in an effort to foster a love of reading, but I will say it helps that their K teachers are clearly doing all the hard work in getting them there.
anon says
It varies SOOO much. Mine are outliers who taught themselves at ages 3.5/4 and 4/4.5, were reading chapter books at 5 and 5.5, and now at just-turned-7 read middle-grade novels, but they have gifted-identified friends who can’t read more than CVC words half-way through 1st grade. Another kid started K and pretty immediately picked up CVC words, but then stagnated at that for the next year until she went from CVC to short chapter books in just a couple months.
I think there’s a lot of societal expectation that kids should be reading in K, but if you actually talk to other parents it’s clear that many many kids enter 1st grade not reading and yet are reading at grade level by the end of the year.
Anonymous says
I am not seeing any sort of societal expectation for kids to be reading in K. When I was a kid you were definitely expected to be reading by the end of K. Now kids are full year older in K and the trend is, as evidenced by all of these comments, “don’t push them to read.”
Anon says
This comment section. People freak if they hear 4yos can read when their 5/6yo is still learning
Anon says
THIS, and I smirk because everyone and their child is “gifted” when really like, 5% of the entire population is. GT in school isn’t the same thing as being actually gifted!
Anonymous says
Yep, and they go on the attack. “Your kid has hyperlexia so it’s actually a bad thing they are reading so early.” “You are pushing your kid too hard and will destroy their love of learning.” My favorite is the comment about early reading’s creating bad brain pathways. Yep, keep telling yourself that as you refuse to teach your child to read. We know that the methods used in schools are ineffective, so it’s up to parents to teach kids at home. The people who don’t want to put in the effort are very, very defensive.
The attacks on gifted kids are also funny. No, not all kids in GT programs are gifted because our society is aligned against the true concept of giftedness. There are some kids who are actually gifted and it’s actually a huge burden for both the parents and the child to deal with in our educational system. People who were not gifted or who don’t have a genuinely gifted child don’t know what they are talking about. Again, it’s mean-spirited envy.
Anon says
I was highly gifted myself (but not an especially early reader) and my kid so far seems to be smart but not gifted. I don’t have any envy over gifted kids. As a former gifted kid I feel like it’s a hard life that I wouldn’t wish on anyone and “normal” smart people are typically both happier and more successful. I agree that a small number of kids, many of them profoundly gifted, learn to read by osmosis at a young age. But it’s an incredibly small number of kids who do that, and there’s a lot of evidence that pushing kids toward reading at a young age is not beneficial and can be harmful.
Anon says
You don’t need to worry about my kids, as I “refuse to teach them to read” and let them play instead. I read aloud a ton and always have, but besides that I let them learn at school. With my oldest it didn’t really click until halfway through first grade, but now he’s 8 and reading at a high school level. So we’re doing just fine!
Anonymous says
How is it an “attack on gifted children” to say that most kids can’t learn to read spontaneously? It seems like a compliment, I.e., some gifted children have a special ability that most people don’t.
I don’t know anyone who taught their kids reading at home unless their kids were way below grade level. Maybe I’m lucky to live in a good school district but most kids just learn in school in K/1st and it’s totally fine.
Anon says
No one is “attacking” gifted kids! And yes, there are some here that push their kids/families more than others. Drilling an otherwise typical 4-5 year old on reading skills seems to be a bit extra.
I know someone who would humblebrag how they got her daughter’s reading “in line” the summer before kid started K and it just seemed like…a lot.
Anon says
I think it’s always been very district-dependent. I grew up in the 1980s and there was no expectation of reading at the start of K or even first. I don’t even recall doing any reading related stuff in K. I learned to read in first grade, along with most of the kids in the class. My kid’s K is much more academic and reading-focused than mine, although I wouldn’t say reading is “expected.”
Spirograph says
I also learned to read young and have no memory of it. I have 3 kids and did not make any special effort to teach any of them to read. In fact, I feel like I pretty much fell down on that job; I figured school would handle it and I wouldn’t worry unless they were still struggling by 2nd grade. We’ve always read lots of bedtime stories and now read chapter books aloud to the kids, but we’ve been very inconsistent with having them read to us. Our public school curriculum, as far as I can tell, does sight/heart words with some phonics. My kids went to Montessori for a couple covid years, and that was extermely phonics-based and they did very well with it.
In any case, 2nd grade was a huge turning point for all of them. My youngest is in 2nd now, and fairly confidently reads aloud Rabbit & Bear books to me, and reads Magic Treehouse and a whole bunch of nonfiction (Space atlas, Zelda game guides, dinosaur books) on his own, but hasn’t really gotten into other chapter books. The older two are self-proclaimed bookworms, although my daughter strongly prefers graphic novels to traditional chapter books.
(Not germane to the reading conversation, but our school does NOT seem to emphasize spelling, much, and all my kids’ spelling is atrocious. I’m surprised at this, because of how much they read!)
SC says
It was definitely a progression with my child. He couldn’t read entering K, but he was reading simple sentences by the end of the year. In K, he strongly resisted my attempts to reach him to read or make him read out loud to me, so I just kept reading to him and tried to keep reading a positive experience. In 1st grade (turned 7 in April of 1st grade), he could read level 1 books, and at home, he would sometimes agree to read something he was familiar with out loud or to alternate pages in picture books. His first 2nd grade year was a disaster on many levels, but his reading improved thanks to (1) Dog Man and similar comics, and (2) DH homeschooling DS for several months at the end of the school year, with materials provided by his teacher. This year, he is repeating 2nd grade at a new school, and he is reading chapter books like Stink, Dragon Masters, and Magic Treehouse Merlin’s Mysteries to himself and doing book reports on them. I suspect he could read at a slightly higher reading level. I’ve scattered a few more difficult books (Wings of Fire, The Silver Arrow) around the house, but he won’t read them if I push them.
I learned to read when I was 4, so I barely remember it. I just remember that it came naturally to me, and I was a big reader when I was in early elementary school. DH is the opposite–he has dyslexia, he learned to read around 3rd grade with the help of a tutor, and it’s still not easy for him. DS is somewhere in between–no learning disability affecting his reading, but it takes more effort and is less fun for him than it is for me.
Mary Moo Cow says
I have a clear visual memory of reading a book in pre-K, so I was about 4/4.5. My own kids each learned to read in Pre-K, one in the spring and one in the winter. I can’t remember a lot of their early childhood, but I remember my older daughter sitting on my lap and reading to me, to my surprise.
Both my kids were at a daycare that amped up academic preschool activities in the 3s classroom for the school year, with more of a summer camp atmosphere in the summer. They did a mix of phonics and sight words and had reading time every day. They attended different pre-K programs, but each one was heavy on phonics and lots of engagement with books. We read to them every night at bedtime and frequently during the day, too.
Anonymous says
Following with interest. DS is in pre-K and having trouble with letters. We suspect he has some form of his dad’s dyslexia, though I guess no one uses that term anymore? He can recall detailed facts and story plots from books we’ve read to him, but when he’s looking at the page himself he has a lot more trouble. We’re currently working on stamina/ frustration and recognizing letters, per the learning specialist who has been helping him at school.
If anyone has ideas to help us support him, please let me know!
Anon says
My five year old daughter is in kindergarten and gradually learning to read. I have no memory of learning to read and thought it would come naturally to her because we’ve always read tons of books together. I was surprised to hear from her teacher that she is slightly below the benchmark in literacy skills. I’ve been picking up super simple books at the library, asking her to read to me daily and doing some phonics activities the teacher gave to me. I do find it hard to walk the line of “supporting” her growth but also not making it a chore. Sometimes she moans and groans when I ask her to read to me but then she gets excited when she can do it. Parenting is a constant learning process! My parents were hands off in this regard, so it feels new to me.
Anon says
I also learned to read at three. My brother learned to read in third grade. I think he has read more books than me overall and has also drafted some novels since then! It feels silly to me that it ever meant anything as children.
Anon says
Agreed. My husband has a PhD in theoretical physics and is the smartest person I know, and I know a lot of smart people. He was pretty much written off as a dummy until high school because he read late and it’s never come naturally to him (he likely has an undiagnosed disability like dyslexia). I always thought it’s silly how much early elementary gifted identification focuses on reading and overlooks STEM ability. Not a personal chip on my shoulder – my husband turned out more than fine and is the type of person who thrives on being underestimated – but it just seems silly.
Anonymous says
Fascinating thread and I think definitely an unusual number of people who learned to read early. Myself – a highly verbal person – I could do cvc words in kindergarten but really learned to read in first grade (age 6-6.5 for me as I turned 7 in late May). My brother was the same and reads and writes for a living now. A lot of it is developmental on when can you make yourself sit down and do a challenging activity. I would say my kids are ok pretty similar levels intellectually and verbally, with each knowing their letters before age 2, but one learned to read between 5-5.5 (before kindergarten for him) and one is learning now in kindergarten (currently 5.5, August birthday) and may still be learning in first grade. He’s not quite there on “ability to sit down and practice,” although the basic ability is there- like he knew letter sounds at 3but didn’t have the executive function to progress from there until quite recently. We’ve never pushed early reading beyond going through the Bob books once kids seemed ready/were taking an interest in reading. Before that we had alphabet magnets and just pointed out letter sounds as it came up in conversation.
Anon says
I’d love to hear from folks who have experience getting involved in non profits/community organizations. I’d like to get more involved in my community but my options seem to be essentially just donating money, or volunteering that requires me to be available during work hours. I don’t mind donating money but would like to find an opportunity where I can also be involved on more a of a time level rather than just financially and curious fo rideas.
Cb says
I’m involved with the local public school, and a local sustainability organisation. My weeks are flexible so I can shift things slightly to go and help for a few hours during the week, but in general, I’d always prefer physical labour to meetings. I helped set up the zero waste shop, sort donations for our community reuse event, etc. This weekend, I’ll help at a sustainability festival.
My involvement really has helped me meet people. I’ve not made new best friends, but there are people around town who I’ll have a coffee or chat with who I wouldn’t have met otherwise.
Anon says
That’s why a lot of volunteers at non-profits are retirees (or students), for better or worse. Organizations open during normal business hours want volunteers for those hours.
There’s always going to be special events and after hours opportunities, but you probably won’t be considered/notified unless you’re familiar with the organization, so I would recommend that you find a group that you’re interested in, and then either commit time now, or keep checking in with them and stay on their minds so when things come up, they think of asking you.
I’m a former charity board member and I just had an email from the director asking if I was able to help out at a Saturday event in April. To get to this point though, I attended quarterly lunchtime board meetings for ten years. They are looking for people who will not be flaky, so demonstrating that you’ll commit to the org goes a long way.
Anon says
If you have a hobby your interested a local club might be a good option. I joined a quilt club in my community a while back. Being apart of the group allowed me to stumble into lots of community support activities. A couple of things that come to mind: a work shop to show kids how to sew, we sewed reusable pads for a charity, the club donates lots of quilts to different shelters and nursing homes, and sewing home made fun pillow cases for children that are being assisted after events like a fire or needing to be removed from their home. Kind of cool thing, is they also had lots of material that had been donated in storage. So they are usually looking for ways to use up the donated fabric.
Anonymous says
What kind of volunteer work interests you? Do you want to work with kids, work directly with adults receiving services from an organization, plan events, or take on an administrative role?
I do a lot of volunteer work and got involved in it quite organically by pursuing my interests. One category of volunteer work I do is volunteer singing. I sing in three volunteer choirs, including two church choirs at my church and the city’s symphony chorus. I distinguish this from hobby singing in a community chorus because it is real work for which singers would ordinarily be paid, and because it provides a genuine service to the church and the symphony organization. I have a bachelor’s degree in music performance and used to get paid to perform. Many church choirs have a core of paid section leaders; in our church’s all-volunteer choirs, a handful of us are essentially fulfilling this role for free. The symphony chorus is made up mostly of people with at least a bachelor’s degree in music and performs with the city’s professional symphony orchestra. If we didn’t volunteer our time, the symphony would have to hire a whole lot of professional singers if it wanted to put on any repertoire involving a choir. Some chorus members have gotten pulled into symphony committees and I may be interested in this in the future.
I have also fallen into quite a bit of volunteer work at my church. I lead a moms’ small group because I wanted to be part of one and the only way to get one was to start it myself. For one service the youth choir parents were asked to serve as readers, which led to my being added to the regular lay reader rotation. Most recently I was asked to serve a term as lay leader because someone on the nominating committee knew that my professional skills overlapped with what they needed the lay leader to do.
Most of my friends have also sort of stumbled into their volunteer roles in a similar fashion–by joining the booster club for a child’s activity, by starting a class they wanted to see at church, by answering a request from the school or church for volunteers with a specific skill they possess, etc. My in-laws, on the other hand, are type A joiners and achievers who deliberately sought out opportunities for leadership roles and board memberships. Dad joined the Rotary and worked his way up to president. Mom made donations to an organization and eventually got herself a seat on the board. So the route to involvement really depends on what specific type of volunteer work you want to do.
anon says
Local to me, nonprofit preschools and aftercare programs need board members. These tend to be “working boards” rather than “give a lot of money boards” since the programs have revenue from tuition.
The meetings are in the evening, though the director may ask for the occasional daytime call if they need help in your area of expertise.
The smaller programs tend to want parents on the board, but the bigger programs look for community board members as well.
Anonymous says
From my perspective as a nonprofit staff member – if you have the money, getting involved as a board member would likely be most valuable thing you can do for an organization. There is only so much that unskilled free labor can do, especially outside of the hours when most paid staff are working.
Anon says
I was probably 4 when I learned to read. I am NOT gifted – was always recommended, tested, and never passed the exam. :) DS #1 was reading sight words when he was 5. Now he’s 6, in K, and is reading above grade-level.
I’m a huge reader, read to the kids every night, kids love books. I think my love of reading and books has been one of the biggest gifts in my life, and I owe my Mom and my elementary school librarian for that.
My DS #2 (3) is behind in speech but knows all his letters and their sounds and LOVES anything alphabet (including spelling out words like his name, “stop”, “love”, etc.) so I’m wondering if he’ll be my “early reader”. I agree with posts above that I kind of want to encourage what they like, but leave it to school and then jump in if they’re having any struggles.
Anecdotally, a friend’s daughter wasn’t reading solidly until 1st grade, concerns were raised by the teacher at the start of the school year, and now she’s getting top marks and has tested into the district’s GT.
Anon says
Threading fail – sorry!
Anon says
I’m the poster from a few days ago who asked about taking a pregnancy test four days before expected period. I ended up taking two different brands – CVS generic and one of the First Response early detection ones. The First Response was dead negative and the CVS was faint positive. A day later and one additional test (Clearblue), all three are positive. I guess for me, I need to be three days out from expected period – this is the third pregnancy (both priors ended in miscarriage) and all went positive at that marker. Fingers crossed, and for everyone else, maybe don’t waste the money on First Response for “six days early” detection…
Anonymous says
Congratulations!
anon says
FWIW, I have had six pregnancies, and only 2 of them (neither of which stuck) turned up positive prior to or on the day of my expected period. My two surviving pregnancies didn’t turn up positive for 5-7 days after my expected period!
Anon says
…thanks? I guess I’ll hope my early detected pregnancy doesn’t go the same way as yours. Not sure what the purpose of this comment was.
Anon says
All five of my pregnancies showed up on tests days before my expected period (four of them completely healthy; with the early miscarriage the line barely darkened over the next weeks).
It’s more likely that a late implantation (and late positive test) will turn out to be an unhealthy pregnancy. Perhaps the other poster wasn’t sure of her ovulation date
Anon says
Early detection is a good sign!
Anonymous says
I can’t wear plaid because it looks too busy on me, but this dress makes me wish I could. It’s pretty and interesting while still retaining some structure and executive presence.
Anonymous says
Just a community poll. What is the most effective way for you to know about events at your kid’s (public, elementary) school? I help out with a few PTO events and I’m shocked at the number of parents that aren’t aware of them. For any given event, we send one-off PTO emails, include info in the principal’s biweekly newsletter, send paper information home with the kids, do posts on Facebook. For some events we even put it on the message board in the school, but there aren’t many parents walking around in there. We have SEO on the emails that go out and they have about a 50% open and 40% engagement rate so *someone* is reading them.
What is most effective for you, a working mom?
Also, the reason it is coming up is we are hearing things like “kiddo was so disappointed he missed the science fair; I found out about it the same day so we had to skip it. I wish you had told me earlier!”
Cb says
I think everything should be sent via email, in a weekly digest if not urgent, as a one-of if urgent. It should also be communicated to the children so they can pester their parents.
Our school sends things via email, Whatsapp, and Facebook and still parents whinge… I think they want a hand-delivered invitation to their door or a singing telegram.
Anonymous says
Honestly, if you want me to pay attention to your communications and events you need to limit it to a few really great events per year. If you have a ton of socials and volunteer demands and class parties I am going to tune out and miss the science fair announcement.
Anonymous says
OP here and this isn’t volunteer asks- it’s the actual events themselves (the ones that the kids complain to their parents when they miss, then the parents wonder why they didn’t hear about it). Also, just a totally fair reminder that you can’t please everyone. For every parent that wants only one event per month, you have another parent annoyed that there was no halloween party like the other schools in town have :).
Our PTO is 80% full time working parents, and most of our families have at least 1.5 working parents, so I think as someone else said, it may be an active choice not to pay attention or maybe some disorganization on the parents end. I did ask a few teachers and they see the same thing with some families.
NYCer says
Sounds like you’re doing everything you can. One-off email or in the weekly newsletter is easiest for me personally.
Anon says
+1 I prefer email personally. If people are still not aware of events despite all this communication I think there’s an element of willful ignorance.
Anon says
My school does “Thursday folders” – so anything that gets sent home gets sent home on Thursday, in a special folder. There’s a paper monthly calendar with all events, closures and early dismissals, that’s sent home in the folder which I find very helpful. The PTA also sends emails and messages to parents via Parent Square (our school communication app) on Thursdays. The principal also has a weekly newsletter (on Fridays) that’s on Parent Square.
I don’t think you have a communication issues – I think it’s a parental engagement issue. You’re giving them plenty of opportunities to read about it. Also, solidarity – last night we had max 17 parents on the monthly PTA meeting on (it rotates locations – this was on zoom) for a school with 900 kids.
Anonymous says
OP here and that does help. We have 450 kids in the school and I’d say we have about 20 parents at PTO meetings…and I myself never go even though i’m a very engaged parent (and so is DH). They’re at a bad time and I’m plugged in, so I just volunteer when I can vs really getting into the sausage making of it. I know our PTO board well and if they need me for something, they will ask.
Anonymous says
I think the reason most people don’t go to PTO meetings is that they just aren’t worth the time. In our schools the PTO has been entirely about making opportunities for certain parents to feel important and secondarily about raising money for useless smartboards. If you want busy working parents to be involved, you need to make it worth their while by minimizing the number of meetings, making them about substance rather than parliamentary procedure, and putting on quality programming that is of real value to parents and kids. Even if you do all of that, only a small number of parents are going to have the time and energy to participate in the organizing and volunteering, and that’s OK. Not everyone can do everything.
SC says
I went to our PTO’s first meeting, and it was very well run. 15-20 minutes of general announcements about PTO fundraisers and events, volunteer requests from the administration, etc. Then a 40-45 minute presentation on internet safety for kids, delivered by an agent from the FBI’s internet crime center. It was harrowing, but substantive and informative.
I still skipped the next two meetings. It’s in the middle of dinner, in the middle of the week. One of the meetings conflicted with my book club, and I’d actually read the book.
Anonymous says
IME that’s a pretty high PTO engagement rate. We have 1000 students in our elementary school and about 20 people attend PTO meetings. This is an n of 1 but I do not like the constant barrage of communication from the PTO. We get a weekly email from the school, plus a weekly email from the PTO, plus they post to the schools portal, plus their own web site. They also post to Instagram and fb daily. I turned most of these notifications off. I read the weekly email (which is often outdated: like they’ll tell me about something that “happening” Wednesday on a Friday afternoon) and I read emails from my sons’ teacher. Everything else is just noise.
Mary Moo Cow says
Good question! I’m also on our PTO board and we struggle with this, too. We do a colorful newsletter every other week that comes from the main office, post public events on the school public facebook page, and post regularly on the private-to-enrolled-families-only facebook page, ask teachers to publish events in their weekly newsletters, and still get comments about “good thing parent friend told me about this or we wouldn’t have known.” I, unfortunately, have gotten pretty hardened about it: school is communicating the events many ways but you not choosing to not read your email or Facebook or teacher’s newsletter is a parent problem for that parent to solve.
I personally like the official newsletter and the individual teacher newsletters. I would also like a central Google doc-like place where all the flyers, events info, etc. could be housed and I could refer to it as necessary instead of searching my email for keywords when I can’t remember what time something starts.
Anonymous says
Caveat that I do not have an elementary school kid, and I have no idea how complicated this is to do in real life, but something I do find helpful for organizing my life/being aware of events is a calendar you could “subscribe” to that put these dates automatically in my iCal/outlook/etc.
My work does this with our summer intern events. If a date/time changes it just automatically updates in my calendar, but there’s not another calendar invitation to deal with. I also have this feature for a few sports teams I follow and attend the games of. If the game time changes, it just automatically updates. For things that you have scheduled in advance, could you do a calendar like this?
Cb says
I’d love a calendar like this with school holidays, etc.
SC says
The best and most effective method for me is a WhatsApp thread for the 2nd grade parents. It’s organized by the room moms, who volunteer through and liaise with the PTO. We use it for everything–announcements and reminders from PTO, the school administration, and the teachers, birthday party invitations, requests/offers to share supplies or send missing worksheets, commiseration on the amount of homework was assigned or the stomach bug going around or how cranky everyone’s kids were after the time change. It’s voluntary/ opt-in, and the announcements are also sent through various emails, but the WhatsApp puts almost everything school related into one place.
DLC says
To be honest, with three kids in different schools, a lot of these kinds of things gets dropped or I don’t have the bandwidth to think about participating/attending. One thing that will sometimes tip me towards participating is if my child themselves is enthusiastic about the event and can tell me what it is a couple weeks in advance.
I also think aside from getting the word out, there’s getting the word out in a way that encourages attendance.
I find our school/PTA isn’t great about giving more than one week notice about things and also doesn’t really tell us what the events involve. Like they’ll say, “STEM night!” With the date and time and tell us to come out, but as someone who didn’t grow up in this country, that doesn’t tell me what kind of event it is or what happens at the event, if it’s an open house type event, if they are asking for vilinteers or just people to attend, etc. I think a lot of PTAs take for granted that parents have the background to immediately understand what these events are, and honestly, in my area, a lot of the parents don’t have that cultural context.
Anon says
The school should print a monthly calendar with the events that month. It goes home with the kid a couple days before the start of that month. Parents put it on their fridge and can see the events for the entire month in a printed calendar format, which is easier than several flyers for events on the fridge, or tracking several emails/FB posts, etc. Simple and easy.
Everyone is so bombarded with emails these days that most people don’t check their personal emails anymore.
Anonymous says
This is the way. All in one place and in a form that doesn’t require me to pull out a device, find a URL or an e-mail, etc.
Anonymous says
Something is weird with the comments again. I keep seeing different numbers for total comments–higher, then lower, then higher again–without any new comments appearing.
Anon says
Whenever I make a comment, it disappears for a while and eventually comes back.
Anonymous says
And comments that were there before are disappearing. Safari on a Mac.
Cb says
Relevant to the reading discussion above… my son and I started reading comic-style kids books, with each of us playing a part. It was so much fun! We started with Narwhal and Jelly and the Juniper Mae book and are now scouring the shelves for more. It seems really helpful for working on expression when reading out loud.
SC says
The Mo Willems pigeon books are great for this! My reluctant reader absolutely adored them.
Anonymous says
There is a series of Spider-Man books for younger kids that my kindergartener loves — they’re by Mike Maihack. The third one is coming out in July and my kid keeps asking when it will be July because he’s so excited for it.
DLC says
Elephant and Piggie books are great for this too!
Anonymous says
I hate Dog Man but my kindergartener loves it and it’s great for this.
Anon says
Is there any way to get your child’s other parent to “do” more things with your kid? I’m the kind of person who likes going places with my toddler – the zoo (we have a membership, so it’s free), the park, the pool, the library, those kid play museums, seasonal stuff like pumpkin patches, easter egg hunts, petting zoos. But my husband does not. He has never gone to any of those places with us, or just by himself with our kid, who is almost 3. He’ll go to the store with DS and then stop by his parents house if he thinks I need a break at home. He plays fine with our son and takes him on rides around our yard on our four wheeler and does chalk and stuff at home. He just won’t go to a place that’s basically just for our kid’s benefit. Am I putting too much importance on this? In his defense, if I’m out with kid, husband’s mowing the lawn, etc; but I would have no problem mowing the lawn if he wanted to go to the park with our kid.
Anon says
I think you’re putting too much importance on it, yeah. Different people connect with kids differently. The important thing is that they’re spending time together.
(I’m the “doing stuff” person in my marriage, fwiw.)
Anonymous says
My husband just doesn’t like to “do” things, with our kid or with me or on his own. Even if I handle all the logistics it’s a huge imposition to drag him to the pool. The idea of changing and putting on sunscreen and walking to the pool and being out in the sun and drying off and walking home and hanging up towels and swimsuits is just too daunting. If he’s not doing chores he’s sitting on the couch playing with his phone or staring into space. If your husband is doing stuff with your kid at home like playing and drawing with chalk, then they are connecting and it may be all you can ask. Some people are just … lazy.
Anon says
That sounds depressing af. That’s not living.
Anon says
Yeah this husband sounds severely depressed. I think OP’s situation is different.
Anon says
Does he need a medical checkup? That kind of sounds like he needs to start an antidepressant, or quit one, or get on thyroid meds or a CPAP or something.
anon says
I think as long as he’s getting sufficient quality time engaging with the child, it doesn’t really matter if it’s reading books and drawing with chalk at home or going out. The store and grandparents’ home are great places for a 3 year old to learn about the world!
I viewed children’s museums and the like as also for me, because it’s a lot easier for me to engage a 3 year old at a children’s museum than at home for the zillionth hour in a row.
Anon says
+1. A 2yo needs some activities, but most outings are for the parents’ benefit! I did a lot more with my first toddler than with my current because I was bored and thought that’s what I was “supposed to” do. DH sounds like he’s doing fine
anon says
Parents expose kids to different things. This is a good thing, both generally and in this specific case – it’s positive for your child to spend time with an adult where that time is not tailored to and wholly focused on child.
Anonymous says
You’re putting too much importance on this. I’m like you but kids don’t experience the world the same way we do.
We took the twins to Walt Disney World when they were 3. Their favorite memories are their Dad doing handstands in the rental house pool and picking oranges which we randomly did one afternoon at a upick.
What works best with our family is to build in one of these type events every month. It’s not too much for DH and consistency in where we go makes it feel like a family tradition. A few of ours are – pumpkin patch visit then roasting pumpkins seeds the next day at home, pre-Christmas brunch at cafe of children’s museum, Christmas tree cutting, January family skating day followed by hot chocolate bar at home.
My mom takes them to the library once a month and DH and I go for a lunch date on that day. We try to do a city pool visit once a month in the summer.
Anon says
I have two kids, 3 and 6. My DH is similar, but my kids enjoy their solo time with him and everyone seems happy so it doesn’t really bother me. It’s not like kids are like LETS GO TO THE PARK and DH says no. It often is the case that I’m the primary parent for much of this because of his work hours + travel (Big Law).
Caveats: We also seemingly do more switching off with kids more than others here, and I don’t really enjoy a lot of typically small kid spaces (e.g. kid play museums, petting zoos) so I don’t go to those.
Anonymous says
My husband is an indoor cat and I am an outdoor dog. Still not sure how we ended up together because our interests and personalities are so divergent. He spends time with the kids watching movies, building things in the garage, and drawing. I take them to the park and the pool and the botanical garden and on bike rides and hikes. You have to play to each partner’s strengths.
SC says
This is a tough question. Gently, you are probably putting too much emphasis on these things, and you’re probably not going to get your husband to change his desire to do them, even if you can talk him into going. My husband doesn’t love these things, and for years, I pulled him along, and I’d be emotionally exhausted by the time we even got in the car. We scaled way back after the pandemic because we saw how much downtime benefited both DH and DS. But we do them more than *never*, mainly because I like doing them as a family. We just really pick and choose our favorites and try to choose times or places that are less crowded.
You also may not be putting enough value on what your partner IS doing. Free play outside is great for kids, and a formal park/ playground isn’t necessary. A trip to the grocery store can be a sensory adventure, a great learning experience, and an opportunity to contribute to family. Assuming your partner’s mom is a good person who loves and interacts with her grandchild, spending time with extended family and other loving caregivers is great for young children.
It does sound like you guys might benefit from a few ideas for family time outside the house. Would your husband be willing to do activities that aren’t just for kids? Hiking, fishing, beach/ lake day, family picnic, walk through a botanical garden or sculpture garden? Admittedly, you’re probably 1-2 years away from those things being easy.
anon says
Hm, maybe look at the philosophy of Hunt Gather Parent. I don’t think anyone is a Bad Parent for avoiding child-centric activities, especially at 3 years old. Maybe encourage him to incorporate 3yo into more of his activities (of course to the extent it is safe, etc.). LO can help him weed the garden, etc. I like some things that are more family traditions, like pumpkin patches, the library, etc. But, I don’t love all the kid-centered stuff (think kid birthday party places)- kids really don’t NEED all that at age 3. If you and your family enjoy it, great. But, it is not necessary and arguably contributes to kids growing up needing to be entertained and thinking the world revolves around them. My DH would not want to take the kids to the zoo by himself, but one thing he DOES really enjoy is all of us stopping for coffee and then letting the kids play at the playground on a weekend am. We get a somewhat-coffee-date and they get to play. Independent play is great for kids! Kids can benefit from many activities, even if not toddler-focused.
Anonymous says
This. Kids benefit from engaged parents but being constantly entertained with kid focused activities isn’t great for them.
Anon says
My husband and I have this dynamic too, but to a lesser extent. I think there’s actually 3 different aspects to this:
1) routine childcare. I’m the “outdoor dog” (I love that phrase and am stealing it!) so if I’m on kid duty, we’re probably getting out of the house. When my husband’s on kid duty, I can almost guarantee they’re staying at home (and probably rough housing on the couch which is not my preferred activity). We’ve had to verbalize that I’m off kid duty even when they’re at home so it’s not this vague co-parenting time where I feel like I don’t get a breather, but since we’ve gotten that sorted out, I don’t care at all what he does during this time.
2) special family time/seasonal events. I’d be bummed if my husband didn’t attend these (and I think the kids and he would be too). I’d argue this one is definitely worth addressing.
3) alone time. Like you said- I sometimes need a break in my own house and Husband will either offer to get out or I’ll flat out tell him he needs to make plans to. It’s usually once a month and he always takes the kids to his parents house.
Bette says
I think it depends. Does he actively plan what will happen with the kids all weekend and proactively say I want to do X with the kids during Y time. Or does he just assume you will be in charge of entertaining the kids all weekend?
A lot of the husbands in my community are just seen AWOL on weekends.
They just seem really checked out of the day to day logistics of how to keep their kids alive and reasonably happy.
It blows my and my wife’s minds how much free time most of our friends’ husbands have on the weekend. Seems like they just smoke a lot of weeds and go for really long bike rides/runs.
Anon says
I agree one spouse shouldn’t get to opt out of parenting on the weekends (at least without discussion and buy-in from the coparent), but I want to push back on the idea that weekends need to be proactively planned and kids need to be entertained.
Parents are around to make lunch and monitor safety; kids play. Done. I have three kids so I know they can get whiny and trips out of the house can be fun for everyone, but by thinking you need to entertain kids, you are in fact creating kids who need to be entertained. Parents can do things at home while kids do their own things in parallel.
Bette says
When I say planned, i don’t mean to plan activities, just that you are both on the same page with what the family is doing that weekend. That could be playing in the backyard all weekend, but you are both in alignment there and one parent is assuming that the other will just automatically fill in all of that weekend time with the kids.
Anon says
There are a lot of trash men out there but this arrangement isn’t inherently bad. My husband spends large chunks of the weekend playing sports, but he handles pretty much all mornings (weekdays too!) so I can sleep in and have alone time and I’m a high sleep needs introvert, so I wouldn’t trade this arrangement for anything.
Bette says
Again, conversation and intention is key.
I’m glad that you have found a split that works for you both. The fact that OP is asking this makes me think that their split is not serving her as well.
Anon says
I agree OP’s situation is different, although not wanting to go “do” stuff isn’t the same as not wanting to be with your family.
I was reacting to your comment “A lot of the husbands in my community are just seen AWOL on weekends” – unless you are in the marriage I’m not sure you can really know. People who only know us casually probably think my husband is AWOL.
Anon says
+1 – People who don’t know my family think my DH is probably AWOL. He’s not. He’s often working or travelling for work.
OP says
I appreciate the reality check! I think some of my discontent is coming from the feeling that I’m putting way more effort into planning and doing these things, which I think my husband feels are good things to do, but doesn’t bother with himself (just want to , and the other is that yes, I would derive enjoyment out of doing some (but by no means all) of these things as a family and not just as a way to kill a few hours on the weekend. The first is just an irritation that comes and goes as life goes through cycles, but I do think I will try to find out what my husband would most like to do as a group and see if we can plan a family outing every couple of months at least. Thank you to everyone who commented!
OP says
Editing fail! Ignore that first parenthetical to the comma, whoops
Anon says
I know this may not be a huge comfort if you want more kids, but spending time with kids gets a lot easier and more fun as they get older. Almost 3 is a tough age. 4 was a huge turning point for me and a lot of my friends; 5 was even better. My husband is similar to yours and I used to really struggle with resentment that he didn’t want to join all the stuff I’d planned but now it’s so fun to just do stuff with my kid that I don’t feel any negativity towards him for preferring to stay home and do stuff with our kid at home.
Anonymous says
And now the comments about disappearing comments have disappeared.