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For the past few years, Rothy’s flats have been the commuter’s shoe of choice. Now that my commute has mostly been replaced by trips around the block, I’m drawn to their driving shoe, aptly named The Driver.
This slip-on loafer (like the rest of Rothy’s lineup) is knit from thread from plastic bottles. It has a soft, flexible upper, dual density insoles for comfort, and grippy outsoles for traction. It’s also fully machine washable!
The shoe also comes in a rainbow of classic and seasonal colors so you can find your perfect pair.
This shoe is $185 and available in full and half sizes 5–13.
Sales of note for 4.18.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 50% off full-price dresses, jackets & shoes; $30 off pants & skirts; extra 50% off sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything; extra 20% off purchase
- Eloquii – 50% off select styles; 60% off swim; up to 40% off everything else
- J.Crew – Mid-Season Sale: Extra 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off spring-to-summer styles
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Spring Mid-Season Sale: Up to 50% off 100s of styles
- Nordstrom: Free 2-day shipping for a limited time (eligible items)
- Talbots – Spring Sale: 40% off + extra 15% off all markdowns; 30% off new T by Talbots
- Zappos – 29,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Up to 70% off baby items; 50% off toddler & kid deals & 40% off everything else
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off spring faves; 25% off new arrivals; up to 30% off spring
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Up to 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off kids’ spring-to-summer styles
- Old Navy – 30% off your purchase; up to 75% off clearance
- Target – Car Seat Trade-In Event (ends 4/27); BOGO 25% off select skincare products; up to 40% off indoor furniture; up to 20% off laptops & printers
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
sleepy and sore says
Suggestions on how to prop up a baby with reflux after feedings, other than just holding? Trying to hold one twin up for thirty minutes while simultaneously nursing the other twin has messed up my back. I know car seats aren’t recommended because of pressure on the abdomen — does a little bouncer chair do it? Should I upgrade to the Baby Bjorn, which seems to be more upright? Any thoughts are much appreciated!
Cb says
We really liked the baby bjorn bouncy chair. I thought he looked more comfortable in that than in other similar chairs. I have fond memories of a snowstorm, where he sat in front of our floor to ceiling window, watching the snow like baby TV.
Anonymous says
How much propping does he need? We had success with a nursing pillow (you could even stuff something under that if it’s not high enough) and also a little bouncer chair. It wasn’t a big spendy one.
Anonymous says
Stupid idea from a mom that never had twins: could you feed the reflux baby second so you could hold it after feeding?
How old are they? Could one be bottle fed?
Just some ideas to save your back :). Good luck!!
Anon says
it’s not a stupid idea, but from another twin mom, it will make more of your day consist of feedings than it already does and at least for me emotionally at the time, it felt ‘unfair’ to spend so much more time holding one and not the other. i also have twins and one had reflux. i generally fed the reflux twin first and this was before the rock n play was outlawed, but we’d stick her in there to be upright. we had one rock n play and one bouncer. so yes, i’d recommend a bouncer (we had the baby bjorn that we borrowed from a friend), or the table for two or twin Z. and depending on age and space limitations, could you put in car seat and not really buckle (assuming you are close by). and i only suggest this if they are very little and too young to roll. i thought the advice to hold a baby upright for 30 minutes is the worst advice ever for a twin mom because it just is not practical and then i just felt badly that i wasn’t properly following the advice
Anonymous says
The twin Z pillow worked for us. They both had reflux though. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. It will get better! Where do you live? I could send you my twin z pillow: we no longer need it.
anon says
Seconding the twin Z or a bouncer chair. The baby bjorn bouncer has more settings for uprightness than the cheaper FP ones, so may be worth the money.
Anonymous says
A bouncer chair is perfect. You do not need to upgrade to the BabyBjorn, but if you have access to it, great. DS loved that chair. DS has terrible reflux. We used several different seats for this. When he was really little, I typically just used a Boppy lounger (now recalled) so that he could fall asleep while in the chair. (I normally just had the Boppy next to me while I was watching TV, and he napped.) The BabyBjorn is great, but DS mainly wanted to use it as a bouncer, not a seat. That much bouncing didn’t seem ideal right after a bottle. You also have to bounce it with your foot, so it’s not ideal for your situation.
The surprise best chair for this for us was the Fisher Price Comfort Curve Bouncer (looks like it’s currently available as a rocker). It’s GREAT. You strap the baby in, and it can vibrate to help get bubbles/burps out. It also has little animals on it for baby to look at. It’s very passive. We normally would put DS in this while we were showering or getting ready, etc. Now that DS outgrew the chair, we use an exersaucer for this. (His reflux also got much better at 6 months and continues to get better fwiw.)
Anon says
A bouncer chair is perfect. You do not need to upgrade to the BabyBjorn, but if you have access to it, great. DS loved that chair. DS has terrible reflux. We used several different seats for this. When he was really little, I typically just used a Boppy lounger (now recalled) so that he could fall asleep while in the chair. (I normally just had the Boppy next to me while I was watching TV, and he napped.) The BabyBjorn is great, but DS mainly wanted to use it as a bouncer, not a seat. That much bouncing didn’t seem ideal right after a bottle. You also have to bounce it with your foot, so it’s not ideal for your situation.
The surprise best chair for this for us was the Fisher Price Comfort Curve Bouncer (looks like it’s currently available as a rocker). It’s GREAT. You strap the baby in, and it can vibrate to help get bubbles/burps out. It also has little animals on it for baby to look at. It’s very passive. We normally would put DS in this while we were showering or getting ready, etc. Now that DS outgrew the chair, we use an exersaucer for this. (His reflux also got much better at 6 months and continues to get better fwiw.)
Anon says
I wrote a longer comment that keeps disappearing but try something like the Fisher Price Comfort Care Bouncer. Much cheaper than the Babybjorn and does not require you to keep bouncing it. This will get better, but I agree with others that the holding a baby up for 30 min is not reasonable (even with one baby) and is another bit of parenting advice that just makes you feel bad.
Anonymous says
+1 to holding even one baby upright being so hard – for those that have never dealt with this, it is the middle of the night feedings that are killer. I honestly just did not worry about it over night (but felt guilty). I think any kind of bouncy seat would help – some incline is better than none. Hang in there OP!
Lily says
If you’re looking for a cheaper (like half the price or less) alternative to the baby bjorn (which we have and like), the maxi cosi seat is also great (in some ways better, aesthetically), though it may not go as upright as the baby bjorn.
Anon says
comments are disappearing again. anyway, as a sort of follow up to yesterday’s mask discussion, if you received an email from your kid’s school or from a parent asking that the kids in the class keep wearing masks until the end of the school year would you consider it. I’m asking on behalf of a friend who has a 5 year old who is healthy, but a severely immunocompromised 2 year old. they kept the older one out of school during the 2020-2021 school year. they were all ready to send her back this past fall when Delta hit and the younger kid’s immunologist asked the parents to keep the older one home. Older one finally went back to school. Then Omicron hit and the immunologists also suggested the parents keep the older one home. The school goes mask optional at the end of March and where we live school ends in May. The parents obviously know that they cannot ask everyone to mask forever, but are hoping for a vaccine for the younger one and are anticipating a change in her health circumstances. My friend is trying to decide whether it is worth trying to ask the other parents if they are willing to have their kids continue to mask, or if it is unfair to others to even ask.
GCA says
If I got an email from another parent, in a heartbeat, particularly if they mentioned the younger child. I’m a parent too, not a monster. I don’t want to put anyone else’s kids at risk. And there’s no long-term downside to my first-grader wearing a mask in class for three more months.
IHeartBacon says
All of this.
EDAnon says
I don’t think it hurts to ask. I would have my kids mask to protect a 2yo (and I think they would do it), but we are in a super pro-mask land so it’s not a huge ask.
Here the schools were masking outside which doesn’t make sense based on my understanding of the risk. I would not ask for masks back on outside (but I would probably still ask my kid to mask if it made a difference for the 2yo).
anon says
That is so hard. I would certainly do this if my LO was in the class, especially given we are talking 2 months. That said, how upsetting would it be if one parent said no, and would that mean they wouldn’t send their kiddo? (Like, what’s their breakaway point, because if even one unmasked classmate means they won’t do it, the email is probably not worth the stress for them as, unfortunately, one parent will probably be so anti-mask or have some alleged medical reason their kid CAN’T wear a mask.) Personally, either way, I’d be glad to know that my LO is in a class where a 2 yo CHILD in the family is immunocompromised because I have to admit I would be even more careful about sending my kid with even slight illness. And, for an extra 2 months of my kid having to mask, I could teach my kids that sometimes we have to do inconvenient things to help others (here, helping a child get an education, so important!), what a great lesson. I hope others will see it that way, but I fear that may not be the case.
Anon says
i think given where the numbers are now, they would still send their older kid even if all students in the class are not wearing masks, but would sleep a lot better at night. all the kids in the class are currently wearing masks, so there is no one in the class who has an alleged reason that they can’t mask. their 5 year old is the sweetest kid ever and such a good big sister, and my heart just breaks for this family. they are essentially being put in an impossible situation balancing the needs of one child with the needs of another. in some sense i’m preaching to the choir, but this is why in my opinion, we should have waiting to offload masks until there was a vaccine available for all. (though i realize that would not help those for whom the vaccine doesn’t work).
anon says
I think the parents need to think through more than masks or no masks.
For instance, is the sibling eating in the cafeteria? Is so, that is going to negate much of the reduction in risk from mask wearing.
Also, has the family considered asking the school to sit their child near an open window or large air purifier? Getting the sibling adequate ventilation in the classroom may drop the risk as much as having the class wear masks, especially if they’re doing lunch outside and the sibling is wearing a KN95.
OP says
should have included this in my original post, but it is a small private school for kids age 15 months – 5th grade. kids eat in their classrooms. masks will still be required in hallways and common areas and any time that there is any mixing between classes, so the only time it will not be required is in your own cohort and when outside. though the preschool classes only play outside with their own class.
Anon says
I had this same thought. And do people really not know that the people-in-the-know (epidemiologists, virologists, public health experts that are not on board with the CDC’s “stick your head in the sand” approach, etc) are watching BA.2? Everyone keeps saying the numbers are good, but early indicators (both wastewater and positive tests) are already going up in several large metros. There is no consensus on whether the large BA.1 wave will blunt BA.2 in the US, but based on the UK, I think we can expect a new wave or at least a mini wave in the next few weeks. We’ve always followed the UK by a few weeks. We are doomed to endlessly repeat this cycle until we just can’t anymore I guess.
Anon says
My kid is wearing masks anyway (along with about half her class) but I think sending this email is totally appropriate and it would be very compelling for me even if we were fine being mask optional ourselves.
Anon says
100% (though, my kids are still masking even though the mandate is dropped because it’s my personal preference so I might be biased). I hate that the concept of “fair” even comes into these decisions…is it “fair” to make a whole school go peanut free for one kid? Probably not, but the risks outweigh the benefits of allowing peanuts. There may be those grandstanding parents who like to feel persecuted, but the ask is completely reasonable. There’s only 2-3 months of school left, it shouldn’t be a big deal to maintain status quo
CCLA says
Absolutely. We are in a high masking area anyway but really wouldn’t think twice about complying with that kind of request, especially since it’s not indefinite.
Anon says
I’ll be honest, I would do it but I’d grumble about it. (And I’m someone who has been extra conservative, although not quite as extreme as others on this board.) It’s one thing to mask for an immunocompromised kid in the class, but for a sibling/relative of a kid in the class, it’s that much more removed. Yes, it’s just two months, but for my 5 year old who has massively struggled with virtual and distanced/masked preschool and kindergarten and is severely behind where he should be, those two months may make a difference. And if he’s in the same class next year, and their circumstances haven’t changed, will my kid be asked to mask again? I believe in helping others, but at some point we can’t all mask forever.
OP says
i appreciate the honest response. the difference next year is that hopefully be that there is a covid vaccine for the 2 year old sibling. and i completely understand the distinction between an immunocompromised kid in your child’s class versus a sibling. it sounds like you would be more inclined to have your kid wear a mask if the immunocompromised kid was in your kid’s class, which makes sense.
Anonymous says
I don’t think that does make sense since covid spreads really easily and if the kid in the class gets it, their sibling is almost certain to. I would maybe grumble a bit less and be grateful you don’t have a two year old at the mercy of the kindness of others.
Anon says
I would feel the same (and I think a lot of people would, but wouldn’t say it out loud). I think it becomes a question of where you draw the line. I’d also question whether they ought to be sending their kid in an N95 and forbidding them from eating near others if they’re actually that concerned.
I think my issue is that I’ve seen SO many parents say they have an unvaccinated 3 year old, so everyone should mask, when that 3 year old is not actually at risk. I’d question whether they’d ask forever, and I think at a certain point, masks do have negative effects on social development of children. I think I would say that I would not put that other kid above my kids’ needs.
Anonymous says
This is so heartless and self-centered. No one is asking anyone to mask forever. But there aren’t vaccines available for everyone yet and if you want to blame someone for that, blame the FDA, not the parents of immunocompromised toddlers. I find it hard to believe that the impact on your kid would be anywhere near on a par with the potential impact on that toddler. I hope you never have to handle the stress of having a severely ill child.
Anonymous says
Are you actually saying that unvaccinated 3-year-olds are not at risk if they contract COVID?
Anonymous says
You don’t get to decide what’s an acceptable risk for someone else’s unvaccinated 3-year old, though.
Anonymous says
+100
Anon says
You’re right, but then you don’t get to ask me to mask my kid when it’s not required.
And yes, I’m saying that unvaccinated children have very little risk of dying of COVID. Because that’s what the data actually says (newborns do have a higher risk, just like they do with most respiratory illnesses).
Anonymous says
People can ask you to be a decent human. Go ahead and say no, though. And it’s such a red herring to say “is this forever” because there’s a very logical line: when under 5s can get vaccinated.
Anonymous says
I don’t think it’s at all unfair for the parent to ask the other parents to mask their kids, but I don’t think she is likely to get results that way. Anyone who care is already sending their kids to school masked. In her shoes, I’d instead work with the school to request an extension of the mask mandate in her child’s class. It’s not unusual for parents to successfully demand all kinds of burdensome accommodations for kids with food allergies. The difference here is that the accommodation would be for the benefit of the student’s sibling, not the student herself, but especially if it’s a day care, preschool, or private school (as opposed to a public school that is less likely to care about special requests), it’s worth a try. Even if the school won’t agree to require masks in the child’s class, a letter from the school requesting voluntary masking would be more effective than a request from the parent herself.
Anonymous says
I’m not sure about this- my vaccinated kids don’t mask anymore, but if there were a family in class that made the ask, I’d have them do it. Actually, I’d ask them first and let it be their call, but I know what they would do.
Anonymous says
I’m the OP from yesterday and I would agree with this approach as being the most likely to succeed (although of course if a parent emailed me about keeping my kid masked in their class due to a sibling, I would do in a heartbeat). However, the email we got was broad and non specific about how we should all keep our kids masked to keep risk down, which was not persuasive to me.
It also feels a bit like theater since the kids take their masks off for meals and naps anyway.
Anon says
I don’t think that’s true – I let my kid go maskless but if there was a kid whose sibling was on chemo or something we’d certainly remask.
Anonymous says
+1.
anon says
Same!
Spirograph says
Yes, I disagree specifically with this statement: “Anyone who care is already sending their kids to school masked.” and also that an email from the school would be more effective than an email from the parent (although maybe split the difference and have the school forward the request in the parent’s words). The fact that I’d let my kids go to school maskless doesn’t mean I don’t care about other people’s kids. It means that I think the risk is low until someone gives me information to the contrary. If a parent in my kids’ class made this request with this specific reason, I would encourage my kids to wear mask. Although I also agree with someone above who pointed out that an immunocompromised sibling is less of a slam dunk for people to comply without grumbling than an immunocompromised classmate.
EDAnon says
I just want to mention that while public schools may be less able to cater to special requests for a variety of reasons, I don’t think it’s the case that they don’t care about special requests and needs).
I work in public higher education though so u am sensitive to this point. I care a lot! Even when I cannot make a policy change in favor of one student.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Yes, if I got an email like this I would have my kids mask. But I agree that going through the school and having them extend the mask mandate for this class would probably be more effective.
Anonymous says
I don’t think it’s unreasonable to ask, but I would not expect everyone to agree nor would I think it’s super effective.
It sounds like the situation with the two year old is very serious. Perhaps the parents could do daily COVID tests on their child, or consider pulling him/her entirely.
In my kids’ school, even if the entire class remained masked, the teachers in the school do not have to. Would the request extend to teachers other than the main classroom teacher (subs, cafeteria, recess, specially, bus drivers, any visitors, etc)? My kids also mix with other classes at recess, so those kids would all be unmasked, too. What about any after school activities, if the 5 year old is participating?
I think the best course is a well fitting N-95 for the older child, and frequent testing.
Another thought- is it just COVID that’s an issue for the 2 year old? Because we are finding non-COVID colds are coming back with a vengeance and it’s important to think how that could impact the younger child- now and going forward.
OP says
this would not be an issue at this school because it is a small private school and the older daughter is in in pre-k.
Anon says
I agree with this. I think part of my issue with these discussions is the massive overstatement of how effective masks actually are, especially with imperfect use. I would question why this parent is putting this burden on other people rather than asking their child to wear an N95 or if the situation is really that serious, pulling that child out.
Anonymous says
I am 100% in favor of continued masking in schools, but if the sibling’s life depended on the 5 y/o not bringing home any illnesses I would either keep the 5 y/o out of school or send her to stay with grandma and attend school. Masks are not foolproof.
Anonymous says
Nope.
Anon2 says
I will be the voice of dissent — I think this will be a huge uphill battle for your friend at this point. It is definitely not unreasonable for her to ask the other parents to keep masking their kids, but I would not expect everyone (or even a majority of people) to comply. I also would be surprised if a school would extend the mask mandate for one class, though I do agree that would be more effective.
Test says
I feel like it’s probably very regional. Given that the school has stayed masked until now, I’m guessing it’s in a pretty liberal area where you’re less likely to get the Let Them Breathe pushback. I wouldn’t have high hopes in areas that dropped their mask mandates a long time ago.
I don’t see any harm in asking, it seems like the worst that could happen is people say no.
Anonymous says
I don’t know about this. Plenty of posters here who live in places like NYC have been saying they can’t wait to get their kids out of masks. Sadly I think most people, especially those who feel invincible because they’ve already had omicron, are just done with masking and are never going to go back for any reason.
Anon says
I think I’d start with the teacher on this one. I’d have no problem sending my son to preschool in or with a mask in those circumstances, but the burden of keeping the masks on during the day really falls on the teacher more than the parents.
AIMS says
I would start with teacher too, and not just because you need her/him to be on board. It may be better to do this through the teacher asking the parents to avoid any drama. Teacher can still disclose the reason (immunocompromised younger sibling) and yes some parents may figure it out anyway, but I think it’s a less controversial way to ask. And fwiw, I would make my kid wear a mask in this situation (and yes I realize it wouldn’t be foolproof but I think when you’re dealing with your kid’s health every little bit that helps with that, even mentally, helps, period).
Bean74 says
My son’s preschool went masks optional two weeks ago. I chose to drop the mask for him so he’d have a little bit of a more normal preschool experience. However, one of his good buddies in the class has had health issues in the past so I reached out to that mom to see how she felt about other kids not being masked. She said at this point, given community levels, she was not concerned. Had she been concerned, I would have had my son continue masking.
All that to say, it doesn’t hurt to send an email with the request. At the very least it may help some parents think twice before sending a symptomatic kid to school.
Anonymous says
I don’t think it’s unfair to ask. If she does ask, I would recommend making clear that they are waiting on a vaccine for the 2yo. I think people are more understanding if you make clear that there’s an off-ramp.
If I were your friend, I’d also reach out to the school to ask about classroom changes like better ventilation. Can the teacher keep the windows open? Etc etc. The school’s admins can’t be in the business of granting exceptions on the mask front, which I think opens a can of worms, but they can probably help in other ways.
Anon says
I am four weeks postpartum and looking for a pair of forgiving jeans. I’m back to my pre-preg weight but especially flabby :) Any recs for something that would be postpartum friendly? Probably size 14. Thanks!
Anoner says
Ymmv but I am 14 weeks and these Target are my only jeans that stretch and fit ok. Probably only have a week or so left. Also the price point is excellent:
Women’s High-Rise Slim Straight Fit Cropped Jeans – Universal Thread™ Medium Wash
EDAnon says
I agree that Target jeans are comfy and cheap so you don’t invest much in closet he’s that don’t fit long.
Anon says
I like Athleta’s sculptek jeans but not sure if they’re updated the cuts from all skinny jeans.
Anonymous says
I got some Jcrew Factory jeans that were really stretchy and comfy (jeggings in signature stretch fabric). They are my jeans for when I’d really like to be wearing PJs.
anonM says
TBH, I wouldn’t invest much at this point – maybe somewhere inexpensive or a secondhand store to get jeggings? Four weeks is so early! I get wanting to be back in “real” pants but wouldn’t rush because your body is still changing a lot. But, you do you! And, give yourself lots of grace and give that baby lots of snuggles.
GCA says
I was at the same stage a few years ago and got a couple pairs of Old Navy Rockstar high-rise jeans – they got the job done at the right price point, and I still wear them!
Anonymous says
These were my go-to postpartum as well
Anonymous says
Target makes jeans specifically for postpartum bodies. I got 2 pairs after I had my first daughter and got a ton of use out of them for months after I had her. Highly recommend, especially because they are not expensive.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Does anyone know the latest on expected trial results from Moderna and Pfizer for the under 5 set? Just trying to level set my expectations, again… I am hoping these low case counts hold until then!
Cornellian says
I think they’re both expected by April now, and that Moderna may come first? So maybe at least one vax by end of April? Here’s hoping!
EDAnon says
That would be great! What about boosters for the 5-11? I think my son would lose it if he found out he needed another shot though…
Cornellian says
I wondered that too, but looks like currently just 12+ and highrisk kids getting a third shot as part of their primary series (as opposed to normal kids two-shot series). The 12-15 booster recommendation came in December, so maybe we’ll get a booster update in May when it becomes relevant?
https://www.cnbc.com/2022/02/28/pfizer-covid-vaccine-was-just-12percent-effective-against-omicron-in-kids-5-to-11-study-finds.html I hope they do allow boosters soon
Anonymous says
I had read that Moderna was expected to submit data this week and personally, my expectations are high because the 0-5 yo dose is 25% the adult Moderna dose compared to the Pfizer dose for that age group being just 10% of the adult Pfizer dose.
Realist says
Creech works on the Moderna trial and he is saying “early summer” in this article. I would read that as June, possibly May. https://www.thedenverchannel.com/news/national/parents-with-kids-under-5-are-still-stuck-in-vaccine-limbo
anon says
Talk to me about fancy private schools. We are still a few years out so this is hypothetical, but I’d like to hear opinions. If you live in a town with excellent public schools (top 20 in the state- PA in my case), would you consider a single-s€x private school? Why or why not? Would tuition assistance change your mind?
Anonymous says
It depends on the kid’s individual needs and the programs offered at the available schools. In some places, public magnet schools are actually better suited to meet gifted kids’ needs than private schools. Our district doesn’t have an actual gifted program, but we were advised by a professional in the know to send our daughter to public school rather than private school because the public school was willing to accelerate her whereas all of the private schools are very strict about age requirements. You will also want to look at the admissions process for the really competitive public high schools. If each middle school has a set number of slots, your kid will be at a disadvantage coming from a more competitive middle school. Logistics also matter too. Where we live, the private schools all have on-site before-school and aftercare, which makes life much easier for parents in elementary and early middle school. Finally, what is the school culture like? Some private schools are super toxic, but so are some elite public schools. At least in our public school most of the kids don’t seem to know how to get their hands on hard d r u g s.
Anonymous says
For a girl, yes.
Spirograph says
I’m probably missing some comments where this is already answered, but I’m curious why your answer is different for a boy vs a girl?
Anon says
I’m not the original commentator, but as someone who attended a single-sex private high school, I’d agree with this. I think there are HUGE advantages (for some girls – this isn’t universal) to a single sex education, especially when we’re talking middle and high school for girls.
Anonymous says
Because boys tend to push girls out of the way–see the STEM camp example below. Some girls can benefit from the chance to build confidence in a girls-only environment before they have to start fighting to have their voices heard in a mixed-gender environment.
Anon says
I looked at all girls high schools when I was in 8th grade, and I found them woefully inferior to coed and all boy high schools in terms of facilities and STEM education. My working theory is that the alumni network is not as strong financially and so they don’t raise as much money, but I have zero proof of that. (The STEM can be justified in part because they were smaller.). That said, I do think single sex activities for girls can be useful (like in STEM/robotics) to build interest and confidence (DD would never go to a coed robotics class that was 90% male).
What I’ve decided from 2 years in scouts is that my boys need exposure to girls. They’re so lame. Girls are on it.
Anonymous says
I wouldn’t unless my child was struggling with public school. I’m not poor so I can’t imagine getting financial assistance.
Anon4This says
+1 same. Also – tangential issue – have spoken to teacher friends that have taught from elite private schools, charter schools, and big-city public schools…all have told me one of the most unreliable metrics for elementary schools are test scores, as test scores typically represent what kids are able to be exposed to outside of the classroom (e.g. wealthier families = more enrichment such as museums, classes, etc). It is important for me that my kids go to schools that are diverse in socioeconomics and also ethnicity, while having solid academics. I have found that good public schools often get overlooked and considered “bad” due to test scores/having more non-White and non-Asian kids (and I say this as someone of Asian Pacific American background) when in reality they have solid teachers/admin, a great PTO/A, and other reliable academic markers.
Test says
I’m also not poor (HHI 400k+), but we still got financial assistance from our private school. Always apply.
Anyway, I wouldn’t unless the private school offered something specific that my kid “needed” and couldn’t get at public school. I see a lot of value in the public school experience just in terms of exposing kids to more people in an ostensibly more egalitarian environment. Assuming a larger district, there are often just a lot more opportunities to try new things at public schools; there’s a club for everything, sports, a broader choice of classes once you get to high school, etc etc. Private schools might provide a “better” academic experience, but that’s <50% of the point of the point of K-12 education as far as I'm concerned.
Test says
I guess I should clarify: we’ve been in private school for the past 2 years due to prioritizing in-person instruction. I live in Montgomery County, MD, and our neighborhood elementary school was excellent when it wasn’t virtual, I’m looking forward to my kids going back there next year.
Anonymous says
Wow can’t imagine taking charity to educate my kids on 400k+ a year
Test says
Cool, you don’t have to. I have more than one child, live in a HCOL area and the school is $25k tuition, so even with high earnings, it’s a lot of money to pay out of cash flow. We made an appreciated securities donation in the amount that we received in tuition assistance, because I also felt weird about taking handouts when I have a lot. But my point is that you don’t know how the school does it’s financial aid awards, so not applying because you assume you don’t qualify is silly.
Anonymous says
This is gross. $50K tuition is “a lot of money to pay out of cash flow” when you make $400K? Really? So someone without private school tuition making $350K would just be getting by?
No shade on you for taking whatever aid is offered, but it’s ridiculous to claim you actually need it.
Test says
Wow. I didn’t mean to imply I need it, although I would not have sent all of my kids there at full price. It’s more than two children, but I still see $50k as objectively a lot for elementary school or any single optional budget line item. Do you disagree? I’m not sure why I’m gross for thinking that.
I’m not loving being shamed for sharing my experience with financial aid in case it helps someone else. I had the same mindset as the person I originally replied to and never would have applied if my similarly un needy friend hadn’t told me it was worth the paperwork, because almost everyone gets at least a small award with tuition that high.
Cb says
I live in an area in which 40% of the high school students are privately educated, although most of the schools are no longer single-gendered. The public schools are variable throughout the city, but there are very good schools. I likely wouldn’t do it, even if tuition was somehow a non-issue. A mix of ethical opposition to private education, dislike of a pressure cooker environment, concern that my child would feel left out of the pricier activities.
My answer might change if my child was somehow exceptional, to such a degree that his needs couldn’t be met at an ordinary public school. But he’s not, he’s a bright middle-class kid, so he’ll go to our local school which is very socioeconomically diverse.
Anon says
I am strong advocates for public schools, especially if they are highly rated. IMO public schools tend to be larger and have more offerings that I benefited from such as wider array of honors/AP classes, more music/art/sports/extracurricular offerings. I also am not a fan of single sex schools for a variety of reasons. I received public education from kindergarten through PhD and ended up in the same place as peers who went private schools throughout.
Anonymous says
I had enough friends in college who had gone to single sex school and had no idea how to interact with the other sex, really to their detriment, that I would never send my kids to single sex school. I really value them understanding that the other sex is not “other” and interacting with all kinds of people from the start.
Anonymous says
I took courses at an elite women’s college and was absolutely shocked at how passive the students were during class discussions. Based on that experience, I would never send my daughter to a women’s college or a girls’ high school. Young women need to learn to compete with men. For younger girls, however, I think single-$ex education can be beneficial. My daughter is forever complaining that the boys literally shove her out of the way during science labs. She flat-out refused to go back to one STEM camp because it was so dominated by pushy boys, and has been reluctant to try others because she’s afraid they will be the same. For her, STEM is just not fun with boys around because she’s not yet assertive enough to claim her rightful place at the lab bench. Let the girls have their own space to build skills in confidence in middle school, then put them back in with the boys to learn how to navigate the real world in high school.
GCA says
This is really interesting. I attended a sort of public charter all-girls school for elementary through 10th grade-equivalent and a public mixed high school for 11th and 12th grade-equivalent (this was outside the US, so terms like ‘charter’ are the closest equivalents). My middle school was a well-funded magnet school with a gifted program and we were encouraged to try new things, be assertive, and shine in every field from sports to debate to arts to robotics. It was a huge confidence boost in the awkward middle-school years. That said, if OP’s public school system and the private single-sex school are of equally high quality, I would not consider switching until those middle-school years.
Anonymous says
I went to co-ed public school and then an (elite) women’s college and, as a STEM person, I think one of the most beneficial things about a women’s college for me was faculty who were there because they were passionate about women in STEM. Their teaching and interactions gave me confidence in my work and myself. I had a high school science teacher who couldn’t be bothered to learn girls’ names and I don’t want my kid to have to deal with that BS in high school to help her prepare for the real world. I learned way more about how to advocate for myself from people who believed in my abilities than from having to make my voice louder above know-it-all boys.
MoCo Mom says
Montgomery County, MD here. I would only consider it if one of my children had some sort of educational need that couldn’t be met in the public schools. It’s important to me that my kids go to school with peers who are representative of our community. We’ve been very happy with our neighborhood school so far -great community, very diverse along every axis, sufficient enrichment opportunity for my academically advanced kid. Tuition assistance would not factor for us. I will also note that my husband is the product of a very fancy school in New England and has no desire to pursue that path for our kids.
Anon says
I live in a great PA school district and would not send my kid to private school. I think it’s expensive and unnecessary, plus there are a lot of opportunities that come with bigger schools. I have friends that went to some of the (Main Line) private schools, both co-ed and all girls, and while they liked it I’m not sure they really gained any special advantage in life from it. Maybe the most important benefit of an all girls school would be participation in class and requirements participation in sports/extracurriculars, but I think kids can be fully engaged in public schools, too.
anon says
I am the daughter of a public school teacher who sent me to private school. My kids will only attend private school. I am not comfortable with the degree to which my child’s education in a public school will be out of my control, and much prefer the transparency and greater level of input that is available in private schools, and the higher degree of comfort that my children’s education will reflect my values. I want public schools to be good since most parents can’t afford private, but I view them as a social safety net, essentially.
And to head off any reflexive assumptions about what I mean by “my values,” in the local public schools where I live, my children would not receive comprehensive s*x ed and would likely be taught a verrrrrry whitewashed version of American history, among other concerning things.
Anon says
This x1000
I also am uncomfortable with how school re-opening was handle in public schools.
I also dislike how many public schools are required to “teach to the test” and eschew differentiation based on ability.
Anon says
Does the majority of the US even have access to high quality private schools? I know the commenters here skew coastal big city but most of the US lives in suburban or rural areas and there aren’t good private school options in many places. In my small Midwest city there are literally no non-Christian private schools within 75 miles, and I think the issues you identify (s*x ed, whitewashing history) would be much worse in a Christian school.
anon says
Honestly, I’m the anon@2:06, and all our private schools except one are Christian but only one of them is super conservative Christian. The others are Christian but more…Episcopalian or Methodist-flavored, if that makes sense. (We also have some parochial schools and I’m not sure what those are like.)
Spirograph says
This is a really interesting point. I have a few friends and neighbors who are public school employees and send their kids to private schools, one of whom said in as many words that it is *because* she sees what goes on behind the scenes in the public school administration, which I suppose should give me pause.
Thanks for the reminder to stay engaged and make sure the curriculum is aligned with my values..
Anon says
No. Especially for a girl. I have a STEM background so I may be biased but sooner or later you will have to compete with boys to succeed in most fields and I feel single sex education is detrimental for girls.
I am also generally a proponent of public schools and we bought our house with school districts in mind so it would take a lot to get me to look outside them. The main thing I can think of that would cause me to explore private school options would be my kid having an individual special need the school could not meet.
Financial assistance would not change my answer.
Anon says
I think this is a very know-your-area topic. You really need to know a lot about the public and private schools in question.
I was privately educated, and I pre-COVID, planned to send my (too young for this to be relevant yet) then future, now current child to our local public school at least for elementary. It was highly ranked and seemed like a great place. I would not do that now. It was closed for way too long, and was a huge fight to re-open. Teachers actively and publicly dug up information of parents campaigning for re-opening and it was just a bloodbath. I would NEVER send my child there after that, no matter the quality of instruction. It became clear that the teachers did not care about the kids, and union was only protecting the teachers, not the students they were supposed to be educating.
Anon says
We’re in a good public school district, and could afford private school but I’m not interested. I really want my kids to know how to interact with a diverse group of humans – not just racially diverse, but rich kids, poor kids, neurotypical kids, kids with autism, kids who want to go to college, kids who want to head straight into the workforce, girls, boys, gender non-conforming, religious, non-religious – you miss a lot of that in a private school setting. Or at least, you would at the private schools around here, that are nominally diverse but all kids are on a path to an elite college. I mean, good for them – but Ivy admission is not the sole (or even a primary) goal for my kids.
Anon says
Another school questions– DH and I each went to the “best” public schools in our respective cities growing up and went to public universities as well. Our original plan had been to move to a suburban area in our city with the “best” public schools once our kids were of school age. However, due to increasing traffic and rapidly rising home prices in that area, this move is less appealing than it once was. (Home values have tripled in the past few years in this area.)
The city we live in has areas with elementary schools that are good to great (not the “best”) and a couple middle schools that are good. High schools are pretty much private or magnet. My question is– how much does the “best” school matter? Is it a big deal for the kid to switch schools for high school? DH and I grew up going to the same school all the way through… so this whole changing schools thing is just foreign to us.
Anonymous says
What I am looking for in elementary and middle school is
– Decently maintained facilities.
– Minimal fighting, vaping, and smoking on campus.
– Differentiated curriculum.
I got a much better education in Title 1 schools in Los Angeles in the 1980s than my daughter is getting in her “best” fancy suburban school. We did math in second grade that her school doesn’t introduce until fifth. We had math and reading groups in elementary so everyone could be taught on the appropriate level; her school is actively opposed to all differentiation. The state-specific textbooks for elementary school social studies contain blatant errors and contradict one another. Everything is about memorizing a few key things to score well on the state tests. They only start teaching actual content in high school AP and IB courses, which coincidentally are the only courses without state tests.
Anonymous says
The differentiated curriculum is so hard. My kids have never gotten differentiated curriculum in public school, either when they were at the bottom or at the top of the class.
Anonymous says
Having grown up attending magnet schools, I actually find the neighborhood school concept quite stifling. It’s hard for kids to reinvent themselves as they get older. Everyone knows everyone, and the whole town is kind of an echo chamber. I would prefer magnet schools, especially for high school.
Anonymous says
I have kids in magnet programs that they love. I do hate that they have no friends remotely close to where we live I am forever planning outings / playdates when they are old enough to do this themselves due to needing to verify that a parent I’ve never met will actually be home or how the rides to/from will be. And g*d forbid we have to go to the orthodontist — I’ve got to drive halfway across the city and then halfway back. I miss school being .5 mile away (along with all of the kids they knew, in which case I knew the parents and who I trusted my kids with and who I knew had a DWI and should never be driving but did anyway).
Spirograph says
I think it depends on what’s important to you. The “best” schools in terms of academics in my metro area are in very rich, very homogenous areas. That does not align with my values, and I don’t think the academic experience there is significantly better than what my kids will get in our much more diverse schools. I went to great-but-not-best public schools K-12 and I can’t imagine that the incremental gain would have been significant in the “best” district. (this obviously depends on the student, to a large degree)
I changed school districts after 6th grade when my family moved. It was totally fine, and actually kind of awesome to have a fresh start going into middle school. I think it would be tough to change schools during high school, but natural transition points are no big deal, especially if the high school has more than one feeder middle school, there’s going to be a big remixing anyway.
Anon says
+1 The “best” ranked schools often have significant downsides (including that they can be pressure cookers for kids). I’m moving and specifically avoiding the “best” schools in favor of a little diversity and a more level-headed school experience
Outdoor porch - things for toddlers says
We have a very large back porch (toddler-proofed, but she is never unsupervised out there), and a terribly unsafe backyard. We want to trick out the back porch so that we can spend more time out there with our currently 17-month old as the weather warms up. What are your best things? In particular – any recs for a table/chairs that would work for both toddlers AND an adult? She has a little indoor table right now (Skiphop) but I think the weight limit on the chairs is half of my weight, so that won’t work … :)
Activity tables? Water tables? What do you get the most use out of? Specific product links welcome – this is our first child.
Anonymous says
The Little Tikes slide works well on a deck or porch. If you have space, one of the little plastic playhouses would be great on a porch too. It wouldn’t get as nasty and buggy as it would down in the yard.
For indoors, I highly recommend the PB Kids play tables and chairs. Even my 6’1″ husband can sit in the chairs without breaking them. I don’t know about outdoor furniture, though.
Anonymous says
Water table for sure. There is a nice one for sale at Costco right now if you are a member. We also liked having a little blow up baby pool next to the water table when my daughter was that age. She would transfer water from one to the other and splash a bit in each. Kept her very entertained!
If you have space for it, a little play house would be nice. The one that I really like that my friend has is the “Kidkraft Ocean Front Play House.” It has a little doorbell that the kids love and my friend lets the kids “decorate” the house with chalk and then clean it off with water and scrub brushes after. Honestly, they love the cleaning just as much as the decorating- hah!
We also got a lot of use out of a toddler swing at that age. If you have a place to hang one, it’s sure to be a hit!
As far as tables go, we’ve always just used a booster seat at the adult table for outdoor dining.
Have fun!
Walnut says
Water table and small bike/riding toy. We enjoy movie night on our deck and just carry a TV in and out, so there’s a metal stand that acts as a TV console. String lights on a timer are a game changer for attracting my family out to the deck.
anonM says
I don’t think you have to focus on buying too much yet — a 17mo is easy to impress! At that age, a small plastic pool for summer, random bins and buckets for playing with water, a bin full of sand, etc. will be SO fun for them! And get a chair you’re comfortable in. We love our picnic table with an umbrella, and I love the folding chair with the cup holder thing that folds up (search Folding Deck Chair with Side Table)
DLC says
If you can rig it, i recommend a swing of some sort. (Disc swing or rope swing or trapeze swing or porch swing or hanging chair or hammock swing… or even rings… there are many options.)
SOS says
DH and I are both down with covid. DD has it too but is fine whereas we’re both quite sick. Give me your best apps for a nearly 4 year old? We have Homer. Need something else I can put on the iPad.
Anon says
My 4 year old struggles to use apps without adult assistance. Is there a reason you don’t want to just do TV? She’s watched about 12 hours straight of Bluey before. Hope you feel better soon and kiddo stays well!
NYCer says
+1. My three year old definitely prefers regular shows (on her iPad or television) vs. apps.
Anonymous says
PBS Kids (regular and games), Nick Jr, Endless Alphabet and its sibling apps
Anon says
Princess Fairy Tale Maker and anything else by Duck Duck Moose or by Sago Mini.
Lilibet says
Khan academy kids was a hit with my then 4 year old. Also reads them stories.
anonM says
Feel better soon!
PBS kids has an app — Daniel Tiger and Molly of Denali are both tolerable to us adults and kids love them both.
Also, a suggestion for a kid show that you as an adult might actually even like, a true unicorn. Netflix’s Waffles and Mochi was produced by Michelle Obama. Really great show all about foods, different cultures, etc. etc. They have activities/badges online you can do — I didn’t try them out but might be nice for the not-super-sick-but-still-stuck-inside part of COVID!
Anonymous says
PBS kids (games & video — 2 separate apps; there are also character specific apps, like Elmo and Daniel Tiger if you search the app store); Khan Academy Kids; Dave and Ava; Go Noodle has apps including some movement ones and videos. My 4-yo started to be able to do Cosmic Kids Yoga herself recently.
Hope you all feel better soon!
Anon says
Kahn Academy Kids. If you show your kid the library it will read the short stories to your kid.
octagon says
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Referral link if you are thinking about trying them and want $20 off:
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