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I don’t think I’ve mentioned Teachers Pay Teachers before on this site — and it’s a fabulous resource, so let’s discuss. The idea behind it is a bit like Etsy for teachers and homeschoolers — teachers who create interesting lessons or even lesson plans can sell those items (almost entirely digital downloads) on the site.
In this era of remote school, hybrid school, and who-knows-what school that we all had back in the spring, I think it’s to be expected that there will be gaps and learning blocks for kids. I find it empowering as a mom, when I recognize that my child is struggling with a concept (like decimals, or how to make 10, or reading comprehension stuff), to be able to go onto Teachers Pay Teachers and look through the resources to find something that might appeal to my child.
Sometimes it’s a character-themed lesson that will appeal more to my kiddo — I’ve bought Harry Potter, Minecraft, and Pete the Cat stuff, and more. Sometimes it’s a lesson that’s coming from a visual-spatial learning style, which I think both of my kids respond to.
Many resources are under $3, with most under $15 — and the site runs 25-30% off sales often. They offer resources for pre-K through 12th grade.
(If you ARE a teacher, you can find resources for yourself on there also — entire lesson plans! — as well as sell your own materials. I know of at least one teaching couple that makes so much it’s their full-time job now, but I can’t find a link at the moment…)
TECH PROBLEMS? Is this site being problematic for people? I know one person noted at Corporette that she was getting an error message (BlogVault, perhaps?) and I worry that yesterday things were loading slowly. Let me know here (or at Corporette) if you’re having issues. I can’t recreate any problems on my end so I’m not even sure what to ask my tech guy about. Thank you!
Sales of note for 4.18.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 50% off full-price dresses, jackets & shoes; $30 off pants & skirts; extra 50% off sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything; extra 20% off purchase
- Eloquii – 50% off select styles; 60% off swim; up to 40% off everything else
- J.Crew – Mid-Season Sale: Extra 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off spring-to-summer styles
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Spring Mid-Season Sale: Up to 50% off 100s of styles
- Nordstrom: Free 2-day shipping for a limited time (eligible items)
- Talbots – Spring Sale: 40% off + extra 15% off all markdowns; 30% off new T by Talbots
- Zappos – 29,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Up to 70% off baby items; 50% off toddler & kid deals & 40% off everything else
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off spring faves; 25% off new arrivals; up to 30% off spring
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Up to 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off kids’ spring-to-summer styles
- Old Navy – 30% off your purchase; up to 75% off clearance
- Target – Car Seat Trade-In Event (ends 4/27); BOGO 25% off select skincare products; up to 40% off indoor furniture; up to 20% off laptops & printers
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
fallen says
Reposting from Wed thread because I thought it was Wed and posted there earlier this morning :)
Can we share evening routines again (both adult and kid)? Now that it’s getting dark/cold and we can’t do playground for part of it, I am at a loss on what to do with my kids (who are honestly super bored of staying home). Also thought it would be fun to share adult evening/night routines.
Mine (2+7 year old) was great before.. bike/walk to playground, dinner, books/bath, bed. Now it’s dinner, try to play random games/color/kids get cranky [ part i am trying to fix], then books/bath and bed.
For the adult part, we usually chat/catch up for a bit after kids go to bed, cook dinner, and then watch a show/movie. On weekends we do pre-dinner cocktails and no show. On the rare occasion husband is working late I will usually end up working late too or do Zumba.
Cb says
We have two types of days: days in which we are all WFH home, and days when my husband and son are in work/nursery.
On work from home days, my husband preps stuff for dinner during his kid shift. I finish at 5:30, make dinner while my husband does bath, and we eat at 5:45/6:00, head for bed at 6:30 with an aim of lights out for toddler (3) at 7, whoever isn’t doing bedtime stacks the dishwasher and tidies up. Husband has zoom choir one day, I have zoom yoga two days a week. We shower, and head to bed quite early, but will watch tv, read, until about 10.
On nursery/office days, I cycle in to pick up my son and then we meet my husband at his office, pop my bike on the car, and drive home together. It’s a 6 mile hilly trip there and I can’t make it back up our big hill with a big toddler on the back of my bike. We eat quickly, normally eggs and toast, and then do the normal nighttime routine.
In the summer, we’d stay up a bit later, and one of us would normally have a cycle ride or a bike while the other did bedtime, and then alternate.
anon says
I hear you. It’s especially hard when you’ve already been spending too much time at home. We thrive when outdoor time is an option. It’s not quite the same, but I’ve had some luck substituting playground time with an active indoor activity. We have one of those bouncy balls that kids can sit on and a big gymnastics mat in our playroom to bounce around on. The 7-year-old might enjoy one of those over-the-door basketball hoops.
Anon says
We have an evening schedule that we loosely follow with our K and 2. Luckily we both have employers/ jobs where we can pause at 5pm and then sign back in after bedtime, so this helps us enforce that boundary. Their school starts at 745am, so they’re usually up around 630 in the morning.
5pm – Give the kids undivided attention while we help them “unpack” from their school day and clear away the school items
530 – One of us takes the dog and kids on a walk (bundled up if needed) while the other starts dinner
6 – Dinner as a family
6:30 – Free Choice
7 – Chores and then Bath/Shower
730 – Reading (right now we’re reading a book together but usually just all of us looking at our own books in the same room)
8 – Bedtime (where the kids can read in their beds if they’re not tired)
830 – Back to work
Free Choice depends on the day and is picked by the kids – a mix of playing outside, playing inside, playing a board game, making a craft, doing a science experiment, baking, or a yoga-and-dance video YouTube party. Having us play with them, even inside, helps with the novelty of playing with the same toys again.
Cb says
Oh I love that you’re all reading in the same room! I think that sounds like such a lovely idea.
Walnut says
We have pulled out puzzles and board games in the evening for something a bit different.
Pogo says
Same, honestly. Luckily now that he is back at daycare/school, LO is psyched to get home and play with his trains and Duplos. But I feel like at some point that will get boring to him and I’m curious to hear what others say. We were also big fans of the outdoor time right after pickup for everyone’s sanity. We always do 20-40min of his favorite TV show in the evening, as that’s his only screentime now that he’s back in daycare/school.
For adults currently: while I do bedtime with the oldest, my husband takes the baby. Then I usually end up falling asleep in bed with the preschooler while my husband does baby bedtime, cleans up the kitchen, and finishes his work. We have virtually no fun on the weeknights these days, except for the 20min of adult conversation during dinner while LO watches TV. However we are really in the trenches now with an 8 week old and heavy workload for DH so we’re just making sure to connect during that dinner time. Sometimes we can have breakfast or lunch together, too.
Anonymous says
Mine are 2/4/7. On 2/5 weeknights my 4 & 7 year old have an activity from 4-5. I pick them up at 5, have dinner, bath, story, bed.
For days when they don’t have anything between 3-5pm, I send them outside 3-dark then they wash up, help tidy the house, then dinner.
anon says
Kids are almost 4 and 15 months. During the week:
5, I get home and feed dog, prep dinner (reheating something cooked on weekend or frozen). DH picks up kids and gets home around 5:30.
5:30-6ish – eat dinner.
6ish to 6:30 – go for a short family walk or play in the basement. It’s too dark/cold for walks now but we’ve been giving 4 yo a flashlight and she likes it.
6:30 – 7 – put 15 month old to bed (early, I know but he seems to sleep best going to bed at this time) while DH does chores. 4 yo draws or plays or occasionally watches tv.
7:30 – 4 yo gets bath while I clean up, do chores.
After bath, snuggle on couch (reading, drawing, sometimes more tv) until 4 yo bedtime at 8:30.
I’d say 50% of the nights I log back on then but other nights just crash on the couch from exhaustion. Weekends are similar except that I usually cook a more involved meal or two and DH occupies the kids in our basement while that happens.
SC says
My son is in school, so he often wants to play by himself in the evenings. He gets 45 minutes of screen time, which is usually up by the time I arrive home.
5:00-5:30 – DH starts cooking.
5:30 ish – I arrive home. If Kiddo wants my attention, I play with him, usually a puzzle or board game. When the weather is nice, we sometimes takes walks (need to get back into that). If Kiddo wants to play alone, he plays with trains or Legos or colors, and I hang in the kitchen with DH, either cleaning up (if I have energy) or sitting at the bar with a glass of wine and chatting. I also set the table. If it’s a bath night, Kiddo gets a bath during this time.
6:30 ish – We eat dinner together.
7:00 ish – DH helps Kiddo put on PJs and brush teeth.
7:15 ish – I read to Kiddo. (If we’re running late, I read shorter books.)
By 8:00 (hopefully) – Lights out.
On Fridays, we have movie night. We eat dinner, pizza or leftovers, together.
After Kiddo goes to bed, DH likes some time to decompress with his own thing. He plays a video game or reads the news, and I read a book and/or watch a tv show. Sometimes, we just do our own thing until one of us falls asleep. Sometimes, after an hour or so, we play a game or watch a show together. We fall asleep anywhere between 10 pm and 2 am.
octagon says
We are not nearly regimented enough for me to type out a full schedule, but we did keep our after-dinner walk (mostly because the dog needs it). Kiddo has his own flashlight and unless it’s pouring, we all go out for 15-20 minutes. It helps transition from dinnertime into evening.
Anonymous says
Don’t have time to share full routine, but we are trying out still playing outside after dinner, in the dark. Going well so far! We have a yard and long driveway which definitely makes it easier than if we were in an apartment building. Soccer, basketball, just running around. We have a swing in a totally dark corner and the darkness appears to be a non issue. My younger child has a relatively late afternoon nap and is a total energetic nutcase if he can’t run around before bedtime.
AwayEmily says
I find that fitting in even twenty minutes of outdoor time after school makes a difference in their attitudes. So, I’ll either let them run around the grassy area next to their school, or else stop at a playground on the way home for a bit until it gets too dark to see (yes, it is freezing. I bring mittens and hats). On the up side once the weather drops below about 40 we always have the playground to ourselves.
After dinner I try (and often fail) to get them back out for one more walk with flashlights, often by bribing with a jelly bean or chocolate raisin to be delivered halfway through the walk.
Anonymous says
What about some extracurricular activities for the 7 year old? My 7 year old does karate (over zoom) and cub scouts (a mix of zoom and outdoor distanced activities). Or some more “special” activities? Dance party, art project, science experiment. Try doing the activity before dinner, like you did with the playing outside.
Lyssa says
Random question – I need a super-easy, sort-of special bread element for my husband’s birthday breakfast over the weekend. In our pre-kids life, I used to make homemade croissants, which were awesome, but a ton of work. I might be able to manage a biscuit dough, but does anyone know of any pre-made, non-sweet grocery store bread things that are unusually tasty? I’m considering just baking crescent rolls from the tube (they’re still warm and soft, right?), but maybe there’s a nicer option that I don’t know of.
Anonymous says
Monkey bread! You can use crescent rolls for the dough but it makes it a little fancier. Look up “sweet and sticky monkey bread” recipe.
Lyssa says
Oh, I love monkey bread, but this breakfast is already going to be super-sweet, so I don’t want another sweet element.
DLC says
You can make savory/cheesy monkey bread! The King Arthur’s Minkey bread recipe calls for a coating of olive oil, thyme, parsley, oregano, garlic as opposed to the typical cinnamon sugar one. You can also make monkey bread with pre-made dough, which makes it super easy.
Anonymous says
Is there a good bakery near you where you could get some take out bread element and pop them in the oven to heat them a bit that morning? That’s probably what I’d do if there was a bakery near me.
Anonymous says
homemade banana bread? Yummy at breakfast and not hard to make. Best to make the day before.
Cb says
We can buy frozen croissants which you bake. Pop some fancy cheese on top?
anne-on says
I blanked on this, but the Trader Joes frozen croissants are very good! I would make sure you sprinkle them with a tiny bit of water and cover with a towel when you leave them overnight to proof otherwise the tops can dry out a little.
Lyssa says
Oh, that sounds great! I never go to TJ, but I should be able to work it in!
SC says
Just check the package instructions. We had a pack of TJ frozen croissants in our fridge for a year because we kept forgetting that you’re supposed to take them out of the freezer the night before to let them proof.
Lyssa says
I can’t think that I’ve ever seen frozen croissants (but I’ve never looked, either). What brand are they? Do you just pop them in the oven or do they have to proof? (I googled and apparently Pillsbury makes some, but they require a 2-3 hour proof, which is not ideal for breakfast.)
anne-on says
I would 100% order something from Goldbelly or the frozen options from William Sonoma. Otherwise – is there a good local bakery you can call an order into? I am an avid baker but croissants/puff pastry/rainbow cookies firmly fall in the ‘I have made it once, I know I CAN do it, but dear lord was that a huge PITA and bakeries are well justified in charging what they do for them’.
If you’re ok with biscuits (and have made them before, the texture can be hard to gauge on your first try) I swear by the Cafe Sucre Farine cheddar chive biscuits – the add melted butter to cold buttermilk trick is brilliant.
https://thecafesucrefarine.com/easy-cheddar-chive-biscuits/
anonamama says
Um, wow. Thank you for sharing this recipe. I am not the best baker but this looks approachable and less intimidating than other homemade biscuit recipes. Not OP but my husband’s birthday is also this weekend, and now the rational side of my brain is telling the impulsive side, no, do not upend your existing plans and take this on, too!!!
anne-on says
So, some (hopefully helpful) tips – the texture of the dough is supposed to be sticky, but closer to scones than focaccia. Flour the surface you knead on really well (you may want to hold back a few tablespoons of flour as the biscuits will pick some up while you roll them). I tend to not use a rolling pin to roll the dough out since I have never, ever been able to get the biscuits I cut out of re-rolled dough to rise as high. Instead, I shape the dough into a rough circle and then cut triangles out (scone style, or like you’re cutting up a pizza) to avoid having scraps.
Also – everything bagel seasoning on top of biscuits (or garlic powder plus salt if you’re going for Red Lobster style biscuits) is amazing.
rakma says
Target has frozen mini croissants (Archer Farm I believe) They need to defrost and rise overnight, but taste more like a croissant then the tube crescents.
Anonymous says
I’d honestly just get a nice loaf of sourdough you can toast before canned crescent rolls which are terrible
Anon says
This is unnecessarily harsh. Canned crescent rolls are a regular at our house.
anne-on says
Canned crescent rolls are a godsend for families with major allergies. They’re ‘special’ and yummy for kids but no eggs/milk/peanuts and can be the base for pizza/sandwiches/etc. Do not ask me why milk is in so many breads but it is, and then quite a lot of the equipment has traces of eggs/peanut on it.
Anon says
I consider myself a bread snob and I still love canned crescent rolls! Straight out of the oven, extra butter, mmmm, taste of childhood for me.
Anon says
Not store bought but Bon Appetit’s focaccia recipe is super easy and delicious!
Also second Trader Joe’s croissants, especially the chocolate ones. They’re better and cheaper than Williams Sonoma.
Anon says
Sometimes I make tarts with frozen puff pastry – if you want savory you could maybe put some whipped cream cheese and something like chives and chopped cherry tomatoes on top before baking. I also do sweet by mixing some sugar and vanilla in with the whipped cream cheese and putting sliced fruit on top. super easy. Not sure if that is too much effort. Trader Joe’s has half-baked ciabatta rolls if you just want something baked fresh.
Anonymous says
Our Whole Foods sometimes has frozen croissant dough, both with and without a chocolate filling. I think maybe they need an hour to warm up?
katy says
To make it “special”, I would do frozen croissants, if you can get them.
If that is a hassle, the recipe below isn’t that special, but it would get you a freshly made baked good on the table. You likely have all the ingredients, so arguably this is faster than getting to trader joes.
combine in food processor:
2 cups floor, pinch of salt, 2 HEAPING* teaspoons baking powder. pulse.
Add 1/2 cup cold butter. Pulse.
Poor 2/3 cup milk down funnel while running until dough comes together.
Roll out, folding a couple times as you do so they split open.
I use round cookie cutters to shape them.
*well mounded. Seriously.
bake at 375 for 10 – 15 mins depending on how big you cut them. (I actually do 350 convection but my oven tends to be hot).
Serve warm with jam.
In my food processor the recipe can be very easily 1.5 times / if you double it is getting a bit big to come together.
Obviously you can get buttermilk biscuit recipes that might be more festive but this definitely qualifies as super easy (it is the only recipe i could type out from my head). They are ready for the oven in the time it takes to heat up.
Alternately add cheddar (~1/2 cup shredded) when you add the butter. I have also added chopped jalepenos).
Have a great birthday
anne-on says
So while I am bummed about not being able to have the big family gathering of cousins/aunts/uncles/grandparents/etc. for Thanksgiving I am also kind of giddy about not having to make the whole Thanksgiving dinner for the first times in years and years. I DO enjoy hosting but nobody else in the family cooks so all the prep/food (aside from people bringing crudite platters, cookies, bread, and wine) is on us. My kiddo revels in the family time, playing with cousins, etc. and it has always been his favorite holidays but for us it is a BIG undertaking and I am almost always super stressed.
Making one pie (not four!) and a special family breakfast, spending the day in cozy clothing, having time to take a walk/actually watch the parade (instead of being in the kitchen constantly) sounds SO relaxing. I think this may be the start of us declaring hosting will occur maybe once every other year instead of yearly…
Anonymous says
Yes do it! Or team get it catered. I love cooking but not for 20 people half of whom just don’t care. I cook when I host my side and get my husbands side catered and bake one special pie.
anne-on says
I saw last night that a local restaurant we love is doing a Thanksgiving meal package – so we’re ordering from there! So excited to let someone else handle the hard parts for once!
anon says
I’m in the same boat and posted about it a few days ago. I am trying to focus on the positive side of having less prep work. Hosting Thanksgiving for four is not in the same league as hosting Thanksgiving for 20, which is my usual task.
Anonymous says
Wrote about this the other week, but we did thanksgiving just the four of us last year due to our son who cried hysterically for every car ride. Anywhere more than 20 mins away was off limits for 6 months (Seriously!). Anyways, it was great! We did a honey baked ham but no Turkey and a few sides. We went to the playground and had a beautiful walk in the afternoon. We missed seeing people but it was fine. It was just one year. For Christmas we didn’t do a big heavy dinner but I made a breakfast bake that morning. We usually feel gross after December with all the big meals but we didn’t last year. I’m all for takeout or catering or no traditional food if that makes your life easier. We are Christian but one year we went to a Chinese buffet on Christmas with my in laws so no one had to cook (obviously not an option this year…) it was totally fine!
anon says
Any suggestions on what to send a friend who is about 3 months postpartum? She comes from a culture where the baby’s 100th day of birth is celebrated–she will receive plenty of gifts for the baby and I would like to get *her* something. Budget is ~$50.
Anonymous says
Nothing would have made me happier than a gift card for Starbucks or takeout that isn’t fast food at that time in my life.
I also really liked fancy lip glosses at that stage in my life. I would drop kiddo off at daycare, go out to my car, put on fancy lip gloss, go through the coffee drive through, and go to work. It was like it psychologically helped snap me out of mom-mode to being my own person.
Anon says
Caution though that lip gloss doesn’t really make sense for most of us with the mask wearing right now!
I love the Starbucks idea though!
Anonymous says
Fair point. I’m fairly isolated in a life where I, and nearly everyone I know, is still WFH. And like I said, it was way more psychological than anything, which still makes sense for WFH.
Anonymous says
I tend to go with fancy foods for things like this–a fancy tea assortment (on the healthy end of things), a matcha sampler, a fancy food basket from Eataly. Either that or some kind of body scrub/ lotion/ pampering gift from goop.
Anon says
I think that is around when I stopped wearing my maternity clothing, so it may be nice to get something (non-fitted) to wear or a gift card for something to wear.
DLC says
I like this idea too… I don’t know how I would feel now given stay at home, but I would have loved something nice to wear to brighten my day. A gift card wouldn’t have been a great reminder to do something for myself.
Beachbody says
I’m considering a Beachbody description to access the workouts. I currently run regularly and have a Peloton digital subscription to use with my treadmill (although I’ve mostly been running on my own outside recently). I’m committed to gaining strength this winter. I’ve lost a ton of strength in the last few years. I’ve tried the Peloton strength workouts and with a few exceptions have been very unimpressed. I’m indifferent to the diet aspect of Beachbody, although I haven’t researched it much. My diet isn’t awful anyway. I just need to build muscle. Does anyone have any comments/thoughts/feedback? I need a program where I can just follow it without thinking. I don’t want to design my own workout. Thanks!
AnotherAnon says
If you have a squat rack, I highly recommend the 5×5 stronglifts app, which is free. I started it in July and used it 3x per week until September, which might be the longest I’ve ever lifted consistently. It was amazing. I got really strong (went up a pant size due to my quads so fair warning). A few weeks ago we started a different routine b/c DH wanted to switch it up, but I am considering going back to 5×5 just because I don’t have to think about it – I can just bang it out. FWIW, there are only two workout routines, so if you need variety, this is not it.
EB0220 says
I like Stronglifts 5×5 too. I started using it 5-6 years ago. I have tried other programs off and on but Stronglifts is simple so it’s my favorite. We do have a squat rack in our basement which makes it super easy to knock out a workout. Lifting has made a huge different in how I feel and my ability to perform well on things I enjoy (running, mountain biking, climbing). It truly changed my ability to parent. Deadlifting is great training for super full laundry baskets or lifting a sleeping elementary schooler.
Anonymous says
If you have dumbbells or resistance bands, I recommend the PWR at home program through the SWEAT app to gain strength.
Anon says
My husband loves the Beachbody videos and has become super toned doing them. I’ve only done the yoga and dance videos but it seems like there is a ton of variety.
Lucky says
I have done several of the Beachbody workouts, and I have really enjoyed it. I have done LIIFT4 several times over the last year and a half, and I have gained significant muscle. I completely ignore the diet aspect of any of their programs. Several of their programs are “real time,” which means I just click through to the next workout each day, and don’t even have to look at a workout calendar. They also put out around 4 new programs a year. I love it.
Audrey III says
I love BeachBody. It has kept me sane during quarantine. I started with Morning Meltdown 100 – great for establishing a routine, not really for building muscle. I’m just wrapping up MBF and MBFA (muscle builds fat); I bought early access but it’ll be released in December, and that’s a great one for building muscle. 21 day fix and 21 day fix extreme are pretty good too. But there’s a ton of variety and you don’t have to think about it. I also don’t use the nutrition stuff but feel the workout is enough of a value to justify the $100 per year cost. The only caution I’ll give is that for all of these, you need to have your own set of dumbbells and a pretty good variety – I have 3 lb to 12 lb and wish I had 15lb but I cannot find them on sale anywhere.
anonamama says
Another +1 for Beach Body on Demand. Good variety, workouts easy to follow and interesting additional content (pre/post partum, kids, cooking segments). DH and I both like it.
fallen says
I love Kayla Itsines on the SWEAT app. Her workouts are living hell but I have been very pleased with the results (although it does take about 8-9 weeks to notice results) Have heard good things about madeleine moves, but I think it is a bigger time commitment than Kayla’s workouts.
Anonymous says
OP here. Thanks, everyone! Lots of options to research. Much appreciated!
anon says
If anyone is looking for a good way to talk about COVID with your kids, there’s an really excellent TV show on YouTube called Operation Ouch. It’s a great show in general with tons of science and lots of explanations about how your body works, but they just put out a COVID-19 special and it is especially good.
I’d say the show is best from late preschool through to adults. I learn something every time I watch, and I have a science PhD.
SC says
I love Operation Ouch! Thanks for the update on the COVID-19 special–I hadn’t heard that yet.
Anon says
My 2 year old fixates on silly things and has epic meltdowns when she doesn’t get her way. I know this describes all 2 year olds to some degree, but her behavior seems extreme to me even for her age. The latest example is opening the doors at school – she HAS to press the buttons for the building’s door. She will run ahead of another kid if she sees someone else approaching to make sure she gets to open the door. When someone else beats her there, she has full-on throw-herself-on-the-floor tantrums, even though I let her wait for the doors to close again and then take her turn pressing the button. She’s started developing what seems almost like anxiety about it – when we pull into the parking lot sometimes she starts sobbing and when I ask what’s wrong she says “I’m scared another friend is going to open the door!” This is unusual behavior, right?
Drop-off today was especially horrendous – she was already on edge about the building door (another kid got there first so even though I let her wait and take her turn it still set her off) and then another kid was ahead of us in line for the classroom drop-off and when I didn’t let her run ahead of him she had a full on meltdown that involved screaming, thrashing, throwing herself on the ground and screaming at the top of her lungs “I don’t care about Thomas’ turn! It should be MY TURN NOW!!!! I should go before him because my teachers want to see ME!!!” (It was very reminiscent of how our dear leader is handling the election counting.) A whole bunch of school staff people came over to help and I just felt like such a terrible mom who can’t control my kid or teach her that she needs to take turns. Other kids just seem so much more… easy-going? Fwiw, she’s a people pleaser in general so 98% of the time she’s really great about sharing, taking turns and being polite and stuff like that, I assume because she likes the praise that comes with it. It’s just that when she decides she wants something there’s no stopping her, and since it frequently involves taking something from another kid she can seem so bratty and spoiled in those moments.
Any advice? This week has been especially bad, so I’m hoping it’s partly due to jet lag from the time change (she’s been waking earlier than normal and going to bed the same time, so I’m guessing she’s somewhat sleep deprived) but ughhhh.
anon says
I don’t think it’s that odd. Normal kids stuff.
Sometimes it can help to set expectations. Perhaps in the car before drop off or before leaving the classroom at pick up, stop for a moment, get down and look her right in the eyes, and let her know that you expect her to be a big kid and share the button pushing, and that she cannot throw a fit or she will lose the opportunity to push the button next time. You could also reassure her that if she stays calm you’ll make sure she gets a turn by waiting for the next elevator. If she takes turns with the button and doesn’t throw a fit, you could celebrate on the way home with her favorite song on the radio.
Anonymous says
Agree that it’s normal kid stuff. You’re not going to get a kid that’s 100% well behaved. If you get 98% good behavior and this is a 2% situation, it’s a bit annoying but not worth stressing over.
It’s actually really good for their longer term resilience to face difficult situations that are objectively safe and be able to get through them.
DLC says
You are not a terrible mother. Be kinder to yourself! I can’t speak for the world, but I would never judge another parent whose kid is having a meltdown. (I might judge a little if I see a kid be violent towards another and the caregiver does nothing, but that is another story). I mean I had to carry my eight (!) year old out of a Museum last year because she was rolling around on the ground screaming and refusing to leave. This is the child that many people compliment me on being extremely well behaved. Being a child and learning how to manage emotions and disappointment is hard.
I have no real advice because I struggle with this too, but I read somewhere that the opinions of other people don’t get to be more important to you that the needs of your child (however you want to define “needs”), and that has helped feel less self conscious and more calm in these moments.
FVNC says
It’s late and I’m not sure you’ll see this, OP, but +1 to not judging other parents. My oldest is now 7, and I still remember a morning when she was maybe 18 months and throwing an epic tantrum in the daycare parking lot. Another mother, leaving the building after drop-off, gave me an arm pat and said something about how I was doing great and it’d be fine. I have no idea who that woman was, but her kindness made my cry. I have to think her attitude reflects what almost all of us other parents are thinking. It’s hard and it sucks, but definitely try not to stress about judgment.
Anonymous says
I have 3 girls and my middle was like this. It isn’t abnormal, it’s just her personality.
Yes, it’s 2-year-old behavior but I get what you are saying. It isn’t AVERAGE 2 year old behavior.
She’s 5 now and still has this personality.
Anon says
There is a big range of normal for toddlers, and this seems within the realm. That said, even if it’s harder in the moment, it’s good/better for kids to not always get “their way”; it helps them learn to deal with hard emotions, builds resilience, and communicates to them that they are not in control, adults are (which is very reassuring!).
Maybe keep on accommodating with the button thing, since its in public and you are (probably) pressed for time, but try to find ways to set boundaries to practice this in other areas – “I hear you want the blue cup, but I got you green today.” “It would be fun to sit next to daddy, but right now you’re sitting next to me.” Etc
JDMD says
Sympathy — this sounds really hard. The time change is terrible for worsening these kinds of behaviors. Don’t know if you’ve tried this, but sometimes we’ve had success with practicing difficult moments at home, when tempers are calm. So maybe you pretend to be her, and she gets to be “mommy”, and you tell her that you’re scared another friend is going to open the door, giving her the chance to coach you through it. Or you can act it out with stuffed animals.
Anon says
this is exactly what one of my twins is like. yesterday, her sister was still napping, but she wanted us to go get her (and it was time to get her up anyway), so i suggested we get their snack (rookie mistake on my part) ready and then go wake up her sister. well, since she was the one who was up, i let her choose the snack and she wanted ALL of it for herself, and none for her sister, which i of course said was not ok – she totally lost it. this morning, i was reading a book that her sister had selected while she was playing with something else, and she was listening too, but then she wanted the book all too herself – hysteria. she can be very generous and kind, will often want to ‘help’ her twin or bring milk to her twin or bring her twin her stuffed animal, etc. but definitely wants what she wants NOW. in fact, i am hiding at home in the closet doing work and hear her screaming about how she wants her diaper changed first. i have noticed that this twin is particularly intense when her blood sugar is low (must feed her every 2-3 hours) or has to poop. but yes, it is exhausting and often makes me feel like the worst mom ever, when i am trying to attend to both at the same time
Anonymous says
Sounds like you have the female version of my set of boy twins. Hang in there, it gets easier I promise. They are 6 now and spent an hour playing uno together yesterday without me having to intervene once.
Pogo says
I think this is in the range of normal. My 3yo always wants to push the Walk button on the street and will freak out if I forget or don’t let him (like when we didn’t know how long the virus lived on surfaces and I was being ridiculously cautious). I try to accommodate where it is no problem for me to do so – the Orange cup instead of blue, sitting in “his” spot on the couch – but this scenario calls for sharing because other kiddos are involved. We don’t have an issue like this but we’ll often have issues of time or safety where we just can’t do things his ways. He may throw an epic tantrum, but I do think that is part of being a toddler and part of setting boundaries for them to learn how to live in the world. Rest assured it is NOT just you and the teachers see it in various forms from all the kids. We’ve dropped LO off kicking and screaming because at the last minute he wanted mommy to take him instead of daddy and that wasn’t an option – we have meetings and have to be places and can’t accommodate his every whim. Other drop off tantrums have occurred when he realizes his favorite sneakers are still wet from yesterday. I think it’s super common, kids want to control what they can, especially as it relates to things like drop off.
Anonymous says
Not mom related, but I never go to the main site. I have been offered partnership at my 10 attorney firm. I know I have the opportunity to review the firm’s books, but I don’t even know what I’m looking for other than whether it has been profitable. I’ve tried googling and haven’t found anything helpful about what to look for when considering partnership. FWIW, I’m planning to accept and the firm is generally well run and managed, so it’s not like I’m expecting to find something bad, I just want to do my due diligence. Does anyone have ideas of questions to ask, documents to request, or can you point me to a resource that would have suggestions? Thank you!
mascot says
Reviewing the partnership agreement should answer a lot of questions about how profits are distributed, if partners have any obligations to act as guarantors to the debt of the firm, capital contributions and how they are returned if a partner leaves, and general management for decisions. I’d also ask about going from a w-2 to a K-1 employee is going to work as far as salary and benefits and make sure you understand the taxes. Will you get a draw over the year instead of a salary? How are expenses and overhead allocated? I’d even ask the newest partner there if there was anything they wish they knew going into it from a planning perspective.
Mary Moo Cow says
Seconding a lifting program! DH and I like Starting Strong and Barbell Medicine. We buy new routines occasionally for variety. We bought a squat rack and barbell from Rogue about 2 years ago and set it up in garage. It doesn’t take up a terrible amount of room. For workouts, 3-4 times a week, 30-60 minutes, and you’ll probably see returns very quickly. For me, the goal was strengthening, and now I squat and deadlift more than my body weight and just feel better.
AnotherAnon says
Chore chart recommendations for a 3.5 y/o?
Anonymous says
We have a magnet star chart that came with a bunch of different magnets with pictures of chores/responsibilities, which is helpful for pre-readers! Make your bed, brush teeth, put toys away, etc. I’ll put the link in a separate response
Anonymous says
https://www.amazon.com/Roscoe-Learning-Responsibility-Customize-Magnetic/dp/B01FKFMFXE