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Kid/Family Sales
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Anon says
Happy Friday – I had a funny exchange last night with my kids that made me think of a post put up here recently about kids whining when assigned chores. We were in the after school scramble with varying levels of grumpiness, and someone clogged and overflowed our very temperamental toilet. I was dreaaaaaading the clean up, and standing in the bathroom door just trying to muster the energy to start the clean up process. My 9 year old, who tends to be my most whiny chore do-er, happened upon me, and said “What’s wrong, mom?” and I was like, “I just don’t want to do this. I hate unclogging toilets, and my anxiety is triggered by gross dirty toilet water running all over the place. This is super gross, and I just want to sit down after a long day.” Basically, I was whining about having to clean it up.
My sweet son ran off, got two pairs of plastic gloves left over from COVID, plus a bunch of disinfectant, and came up, and was like “hey we got this, let’s do it together.” I was just about in tears. I thanked him for his kindness, cleaned up the mess with a better attitude, and ordered take out for everyone. Just a reminder to give our kids some grace. No one loves doing chores. Everyone loves and appreciates a little kindness.
Anon says
That is so sweet!!! What a thoughtful and considerate son you have!
Anon says
Oh man, what a kid you have! Thanks for the sweet story heading into the weekend.
anon says
Awww, this is such a sweet story! Well done, mama. You have a great kid there.
Cb says
Aww, that is lovely, you’re doing a fantastic job with that one!
S says
This is the best story, and you’re clearly doing an awesome job as a parent!!!
Anon says
My kid was never much into blocks, but we’ve given these at a bunch of first birthdays and they seem to be a big hit.
Anon says
Hosting a summer barbecue tomorrow at the park behind our house. It will be a hot day. What’s the easiest way to serve a cold dessert? Usually I get a bunch of different types of ice cream cones (Drumstick, Blue Bunny, etc) and let everyone choose and/or pass them out to kids and adults before they melt. I suppose popsicles would be easier, but my kid doesn’t like them and I don’t know if adults would go for them either. Or would a sundae bar be easier? It will be 8 kids and 8 adults.
Cb says
We did a popsicle party with Otter Pops and even the adults enjoyed them.
Anon says
I think an assortment of ice cream novelties in a cooler with ice a great idea.
GCA says
Agree. I did popsicles (Jonny Pops, fudge pops, non-dairy fudge pops for my lactose-intolerant kid) that way for a kid birthday party last week; you could throw in an assortment of fancier novelties if you want.
AwayEmily says
+1, we did this for a playground get-together the last day of school and it was awesome. Popsicles, ice cream novelties, etc. Everyone gets what they want and plus you don’t have to buy dishes, toppings, etc.
Cb says
A minor vent to the universe –
Day 8 of school and we still have no contact details / no information from my son’s teacher.
It’s a broader issue, the only information we had from the school ahead of the first day was a notice to stand behind the cones at dropoff. We had to crowdsource the Friday pick up time on the parents’ whatsapp, we’ve had multiple conflicting notes about PE clothes, etc. No allergy reminders even though there’s a kid with severe nut allergies in the class.
Anonymous says
This level of noncommunication would be a dream. I just want to send them to school and forget about it. No complicated lists of rules, no themed show-and-tell, no spirit days…
Anon says
I’m on board with no theme days but no contact info for the teacher is pretty weird and I’d be annoyed too.
Anonymous says
Can’t you get the teacher’s email address from the school website?
Anon says
Not Cb, but our school doesn’t publicly list teacher contact info. We have to wait for an email from the teacher (although the emails all follow the same format so you could make an educated guess). And not knowing the pickup time is even weirder than not knowing the teacher’s email address!
Anon says
+1. Super weird. I would also be annoyed by this in an early elementary grade.
Spirograph says
Is it not on the school or district website? our school district has a full staff email directory on each school’s site, and the office/administration names and phone numbers. I would not expect the teacher to provide any contact info beyond that.
We usually don’t get any class wide emails until after Back To School night because that’s when parents provide *their* contact info to the teacher or room parent.
Cb says
Nope… the school website seems to have disappeared from the internet, and it’s never had a contact directory. We normally get google classroom access a month or two into the year, but last year, we got a welcome back email.
Anon says
This is just a vent, and I know comparison is the thief of joy, and I’m in my own funk….but sometimes I feel like my kids and parenting (primary and often solo due to DH’s work/travel) is just harder than the others in my orbit. My younger kid just wears me out (kiddo will be 4 in a few months, hoping this helps), and I feel like it sometimes impacts what I have left to give to my older kiddo emotionally/patience wise.
I know logically that’s not the case; everyone has their struggles, and that I am very lucky to have 2 largely happy, healthy kids, etc. but just feeling the feels today before going into the weekend.
AwayEmily says
I just want to say you are seen. As someone who just happened to get unusually easy kids and also happens to have a flexible job, I notice and admire people like you who have been dealt a more difficult hand. I had a traveling spouse for almost a decade and it was exhausting in a way that’s hard to explain. You’re doing great and it is always okay to complain. Sometimes it helps.
Anon says
I only have one kid but 4 was a huge turning point. Almost overnight I went from feeling like life was a grind to enjoying life and kid a lot more. I hope the same happens for you.
Boston Legal Eagle says
I hear you. Solo parenting is hard. Solo parenting two kids, one of whom is 3 is even harder. I think your kids getting older will help, but even still, some kids are just harder than others. And all the “good parenting” in the world won’t fix them. I think we all need more support than is expected in a traditional nuclear family, so look for areas now where you can get that – babysitter once or twice an evening? More help on the weekends?
OP says
We have help during the week, so I really don’t know what it is. Maybe some more back-up on weekends when DH is unavailable? But then I struggle because that’s my only time with them, weekdays are tight with work/school. (Kindly, before anyone suggests it, I’m not trying to exit the workforce/work less.)
Anon says
Sometimes things are just hard and there isn’t necessarily a solution. I honestly feel the same way that you do
OP says
This helps to hear. Thank you. <3
Momofthree says
Agree with this. My first was a colicky baby & I was the first in my peer group to have children so hadn’t been around a lot of babies. I felt like I was failing as a parent because it was SO HARD. I went to a new parents meeting, realize that, in fact, my baby WAS a lot harder than others, and that actually made me feel slightly better. As kids get older, its harder to compare them, but there are harder and easier kids (and that can shift over time).
Some people do have harder children and it’s not fair, but (importantly) it’s also not your fault or not something you did.
You’re human & parenting can be hard.
Mary Moo Cow says
Maybe, instead of care for both of them, a sitter for just one of them and you have a special outing with the other. (Admittedly, this is a bit of a reminder to me to practice what I preach, taking a cue from you wise moms who post about carving out time for one-on-one experiences.) As I said below, my younger child saps my reserves, but can be an absolute delight on her own. And because she saps my reserves, I want more, quality solo time with my oldest.
OP says
+1 to this. We just had a few days where big kid was at my parents’ for a few days, and it was just us and the younger one, and it was SO special. A good reminder it’s not the kid, it’s the situation.
Anon says
I get it. My dearest friend has two intelligent, conventionally attractive, athletic boys who both love the same sport, and they are two years apart. The kids are 12 and 14, and honestly, I sometimes envy her bc scheduling is pretty easy (they train in the same place, have the same coaches, go to the same fields for games, etc). The kids do well in school, are well liked, etc. Not saying it’s all easy all the time for her, but generally, I do find myself with some envy as I’m navigating three very different kids, with three different schedules, and sometimes I just have to acknowledge the feeling and let it go. I usually end up remembering that I wouldn’t actually want to trade lives or kids with her, but it’s okay to wish things were easier in a tough season.
OP says
I feel so seen. This is one of my BFFs, except her boys are 4 and 6.
Anonymous says
If you’re feeling jealous of a friend cause her children are pretty, please get some therapy.
Anon says
Her kids may have things going on you don’t know about. I got much more reserved about my kids’ issues beginning around age 5-6 or because they’re real people and I wanted to respect their privacy. Of course I’m not shouting from the rooftops that I have perfect kids with no problems, but I don’t share as candidly about their struggles as I did when they were toddlers, even with BFFs. I think that’s pretty normal, and one of the reasons having school age kids can feel more isolating than having babies and toddlers.
I don’t assume anyone’s life is perfect, I guess. We all have our own stuff to deal with.
(sorry if this posts multiple times I’m having issues with the page)
Anon says
Oh friend @ 12:51, absolutely — I’m sure there is more that is under the surface, as there is for all of us, and @ 12:28, Girl, I know you know that wasn’t the point of my post, but in case I need to spell it out clearly —
Some of us DO have complicated kids, and it is a-okay for parents to sometimes acknowledge that complicated is messy and beautiful, but it’s okay to have a minute where you wish things were simple(r) for a minute or for a particular situation.
I’m talking to the parents who are proudly bringing their emo-dressing, theater obsessed teen daughter who is recently out as a member of the LGBTQ crew to spend the 4th of July in Georgia with a Southern Baptist mother in law, who doesn’t say anything overt or unkind, but things are a little awkward, especially during family photos when balancing a kid’s independence and familial relations. I wouldn’t trade my daughter’s amazing journey or her unique sense of style, but it’s okay to privately (or on an anonymous board for parents) say or think, man, this trip would be much easier if she was naturally into the whole dress and pearls get up or polo and chinos thing like her cousins.
Or to the parents who have a neurodiverse kid with ADHD, and most of their buddies are aging out of the wilder behavior your kid still has. 99% of the time, I love imagining my kid as the guy who starts like five businesses, while also running for Senator, and coaching kids soccer, but yeah, I do have a few minutes at big gatherings where I think it would be lovely to just sit and chat with my friends or other adults while he calmly and neatly eats dinner with the other kids his age.
Again, I wouldn’t trade a thing in my life, but yah, these situations feel more complicated for our particular family right now in this very moment. Just saying that I see you all.
Mary Moo Cow says
Commiseration on the younger kid depleting your stores for the older kid. This became a problem for me when my youngest hit 6 and I’ve tried reading books, talk therapy, sobbing to DH, and haven’t hit on a solution yet.
And, maybe your parenting truly is harder than others in your orbit, and there’s no shame in saying that out loud sometimes. Like Bluey’s mum says, allow yourself a little cry before you pull yourself up and dust yourself off.
Anon says
Hi. I just want to let you know you’re not alone. My older kid is a brilliant human and an immense handful. I’m sure she’ll be diagnosed with ADHD or something if she goes to a psychologist. I won’t go there because I’m of the belief the cure is the same no matter what: appropriate coping mechanisms, many of which she is too young for. But boy is it hard and does it try my patience and leave much less for her sibling. I prefer think of us as a family unit. Each of us will have to adjust to help us, together, get to a good finale of the day. Stating this goal out loud sometimes helps the busy kid get things under control. Sometimes not! But tomorrow is another day to practice thinking about being part of a team for her. One day at a time.
Anon says
Just a reminder that the Paralympics begin next week! I’ve admittedly never watched them before but my kids were so into the Olympics this year and these athletes deserve just as much of our attention
Anonymous says
I posted a year ago asking for advice on transitioning to a big daycare from an in-home daycare for my 2 yo. I received some great advice (as well as a few comments calling me unhinged for my level of worry). Just wanted to provide an update to other parents who might be struggling with beginning school stuff. It took 2yo 4+ weeks to stop crying throughout the day, and 2+ months to become comfortable enough to participate in activities. A relatively short time, but it felt like an eternity, especially since other kids seemed fine. I kept wondering what I was doing wrong. I ended up pulling her out of this daycare after 8 months due to a long sickness, and I am so glad I did. I think I knew by the end of week 1 that this place was not a good fit, but I wanted to “give it fair chance” and I was held back by logistical concerns. It was also hard to explain because other children were thriving and her teachers were awesome, so I was not able to pinpoint why I didn’t think it was the right choice. Anyway, she started at a different daycare this week, and we were expecting something similar, but today is Day 4 and she walked into school without a single tear after a complete melt-down on Day 3. On the days she was crying, I did not feel worry because they were just normal tears whereas before I felt she was in distress. I am equally crediting the fact that she’s a whole year older AND the new school’s policies have worked so well for her to feel comfortable quickly.
AwayEmily says
Sometimes it’s just not the right fit. When my daughter was 3 we switched daycares and it was like she changed personalities. Something about the other place (which many kids I know have attended and adored) just was not working with her personality. Really glad you found the right spot for your kid!
Anon says
Y’all, I am so mommed out. Husband has been sick the past week and I’ve been running around like a maniac. Drop off little kid, drop off big kid couple hours later (camp), pick up big kid, drop off at sports, pick up little kid, nap, dinner, pick up big kid, help with big kid parents things (was supposed to be husband, physical work), do little kid class laundry (once a few months but fell on THIS week). And we have big kid competition (first time! didn’t know what we were getting into!) this weekend. Of course, work has concurrently been nuts. I have this evening to try to decompress. I am so wound up, I can’t figure what I can do to feel better. Thoughts?
Anon says
Brain candy TV is the best way for me to decompress. The last couple weeks of summer are so brutal. Good vibes to you.