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The full-sized stroller that I use is the Uppababy Cruz. When deciding what accessories to purchase for it, I found through my research that people had a lot of complaints about the Uppababy cup holder, not to mention it was way overpriced. I received this Skip Hop version from my registry and really like it. It holds coffee cups, water bottles, and anything else you can cram inside. The material is stretchy, so it accommodates oddly-shaped toys or sippy cups. My routine is that I put my car keys in the front little zip pouch and my cell phone in the middle section. That way I always know where those two important items are so I’m not fishing around in my bag (that’s usually stored away in the bottom stroller compartment). I know there’s a million versions of this type of stroller organizer, so if you like the one you have, feel free to give it a shout-out! This is $16–$30 at Amazon, eligible for Prime and free returns. Skip Hop Stroller Organizer This post contains affiliate links and CorporetteMoms may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!Sales of note for 4.18.24
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
AIMS says
I also have this one and like it. I especially like that you can zip off the outside part so if you don’t have a purse with you and need to leave stroller somewhere like in a restaurant, you can just take that off without any fuss.
I will say that I’ve spilled coffee in it before so the cups aren’t ideal, but you can just throw it in the wash if that happens.
Cb says
I’ve got this as well and I wouldn’t put a disposable cup in there (jostles around too much) but I really like it.
Anon says
I agree. I would regularly take this from the stroller, drop it into a medium size tote I was carrying, throw in my wallet and phone, and i had everything I needed to dump the stroller and go w/out.
Preggo says
I know this is vain, but I’m 6 months pregnant and suffering from some body image issues in a way I never have. Mostly it’s my stretch marks. I know they’re genetic and there’s nothing to do, but I’ve been applying fancy oil, taking collagen, staying within recommended weight gain. Nonetheless my stretch marks are pretty extreme and all over – and now they’re in my bikini area which I never expected. And I guess they’re just going to get much worse.
I think what’s upsetting to me is how permanent this feels – unlike almost everything else it seems like there’s nothing that will ever get rid of these stretch marks, even expensive laser treatments only minimize them.
The internet is full of stretch mark affirmations, how they’re battle wounds, “tiger stripes,” etc. But I just feel so unattractive and feel like my body is no longer my body. I guess I’m just looking for advice on how to accept this in a way that isn’t overly positive. Will they really fade over time?
lawsuited says
They really will fade over time and ultimately not be noticeable. Your feelings about your body changing are totally normal, and every pregnant woman feels a version of what you’re feeling over the course of her pregnancy whether it’s focused on stretch marks, weight gain, a rounder face, break outs, or anything else on the long list of changes our bodies go through. Growing a baby is really hard on your body, and you’re not ungrateful or a bad mom for noticing that it sucks. You’re 2/3 of the way there! Only 3 months left to go!
Anonymous says
I’ve had stretch marks since puberty – any kind of growth or weight gain, I get stretch marks. Hips, butt, breasts, stomach. I promise they DO fade! Most of mine are silver and barely noticeable on my pale skin. I don’t even think about them anymore. They’re just a fact of life.
lsw says
Solidarity. It’s hard to watch your body change. It’s okay to feel sad about things not looking the way they always did. I’ve been thinking recently about how my body is changing anyway from getting older (I’m almost 40 and I’m definitely noticing some changes), so part of this would be happening regardless of pregnancy.
Anonymous says
I have stretch marks from puberty, not pregnancy, but they have faded and I don’t think they’re really noticeable to anyone but me anymore. And I agree with LSW that some changes will happen no matter what. This is vain, but part of what made me finally feel ready to get pregnant at 34 was that I noticed my considerable chest was starting to sag. I’m not saying prengancy/birth doesn’t accelerate it, but if you’re large of chest you’re not going to have perky b00bs into your 40s no matter what you do.
Anonymous says
Hugs, this sounds so similar to my experience with pregnancy, and it was tough. I had acne, stretch marks, and of course completely changed shape, and I just felt unattractive and like I was trapped in a body I didn’t recognize as mine. The “your body does amazing things, you’re growing a human!” argument, while completely true, just didn’t resonate with me. What worked better was focusing on things I could still *do*, function-over-form style. (With doctor approval), I lifted weights and kept swimming and jogging/walking and felt good about solid workouts. I also went to prenatal yoga and was happy with strength and flexibility wins there (totally recognizing that the flexibility was from pregnancy hormones).
I can reassure you the stretch marks, in their current form, are most likely NOT permanent. Most of mine disappeared completely and the few that are left are almost imperceptible. My complexion was also back to normal by a month or two postpartum, and I lost the baby weight within a year. My br3asts are another story, but good bras take care of that 90% of the time. Fair warning, it may take a while for your body to feel like it belongs to you again, just because your baby will be so demanding of it — especially if you are BFing or pumping. But you’ll get there. It’s temporary, and it’s a blip in the grand scheme of things, but it sucks when you’re in the middle of it.
KateMiddletown says
Yes, they will fade over time! Mom bathing suits are slimming, so get ye a miracle suit or a skirted bikini if it’s your thighs that are the issue, and maybe some fake tanner if you’ve got time (haha with a newborn).
I’m 30 weeks along w/ #2 and I haven’t gotten any *new* stretch marks, but still have a few that peek out sometimes from #1 (8 years ago…) You’ll be okay, though!
za says
I think that if you never grow to think of your stretch marks as “tiger stripes” (ugh) or as an awesome sign of what you’ve accomplished by creating a new life, etc., that’s fine. We can love being a mom and love our kids while still missing aspects of our pre-baby bodies. Personally, I have stretch marks, but I don’t mind them because they’re pretty light/sparse compared to some women’s. It’s my breasts that I refer to as “ruined.” During pregnancy, I gained 40-45 pounds (on a 5′ frame), and I breastfed my son for a year, and now I’m 10 pounds less than I was when I got pregnant. Because of all that, my breasts are totally saggy and just … sad. They are so different now. (My son is 8.) When I’m in clothes and a bra, they’re fine, but when I see myself naked in the mirror, it’s just depressing, even if I and my husband are the only people who are going to see that (and he doesn’t really care because boobs). If/when I have the money, I will get a breast lift (not implants; I’m already a 34DD!).
All that is to say, I think it’s awesome that some women have learned to accept or love their post-baby bodies, and celebrate their bodies and what they’ve accomplished … but if you don’t think you can get to that point with your stretchmarks, I think it’s fine. With 40 years of being presented with images of perfect/airbrushed women’s bodies served to me in all media, all the time, it is just very difficult to get out of that headspace. (When I say, “It’s fine,” I mean to a point — if you find that your body changes are upsetting you so much that it’s affecting other parts of your life, etc., therapy might be a good idea.)
Anon says
You can also treat them post-pregnancy with creams. I think retinol is the recommended treatment? Whatever it is, it’s one of those things I think you aren’t supposed to apply while breastfeeding. Breastfeeding is overrated, so if its impacting you alot, I would think about not breastfeeding or short breastfeeding so you can treat them!
AnonInBigLaw says
More anecdata: I’m in BigLaw with 1/2 deal work, 1/2 litigation work here. First pregnancy I had high BP diagnosed in the first trimester, but they just asked me to take readings 2x/day and I didn’t need medication. At 37w check up my doctor was debating whether to induce me because BP was so high and decided to let me go home because I only had two more days at work. Literally 2 hours after I left work on the last day before maternity leave, my water broke. Baby arrived at 37w5d no preeclampsia. 2nd pregnancy, no BP issues til I was in labor, and baby was a preemie. Baby 2 arrived at 36w5d. Our office had a slew of pregnancies in a row so of the sample size of 10 or so that I’m aware of, maybe 2 of us had BP issues? The rest were fine/on time. Maybe 1 GD in the group.
Preeclampsia says
I’m 31 so not many of my lawyer peers have had babies yet, but the few that have all had very high blood pressure and were at risk of or had preeclampsia. I wonder how common this is for pregnant lawyers. Anyone care to share their experience?
My own experience is that during my first pregnancy I had HBP that required medication but didn’t develop preeclampsia. I am pregnant with my second and my BP is way higher and way more uncontrolled even with medication and I really worry about developing preeclampsia as I’m only half way through this pregnancy. I don’t feel like litigation has a first gear I can transition into to reduce stress (or if it does I can’t find it in my practice) and I also feel internal pressure to keep bringing my A game while pregnant to counteract assumptions about the negative impact pregnancy and maternity leave have on the workplace.
Anonymous says
If you can’t reduce your work stress, try to balance it with good relaxation when you are not working. For me that meant phyiscal stuff, so a biweekly massage, and exercising three times a week – prenatal yoga once and long walks outdoors twice a week. On my second pregnancy I got in the walks by taking first kid for a walk in their stroller when I got home twice a week. Used slow cooker for supper one day and take out on the other.
anon says
My big law job definitely contributed to my gestational diabetes. Never had to deal with high blood pressure though. I do think it’s unreasonable the extent to which law firm associates/partners go hard up until the day of the birth!
LittleBigLaw says
I had preeclampsia with my first but not my second. I definitely felt like stress played a major role but my doctor didn’t seem to think it made much of a difference.
Preeclampsia says
My doctor downplays the impact of work stress as well (which makes sense to me because it’s a problem without a medical solution), but I take my BP twice a day and my readings are over 20 points lower on the weekends.
Anon says
Biglaw lawyer here, and even pregnant my blood pressure stayed pretty low. My doctor told me the kind of stress she worries about is severe and sudden like a death of a family member, etc. – everyday run of the mill (even at our higher level) work stress didn’t bother her unless it was creating bad habits that would cause issues – not sleeping, eating junk food, not exercising etc. So, the key thing to focus on is how you’re handling the stress.
Anonymous says
Yeah, I have a busy practice, a long commute, a 16 month old, aging in-laws, an estate to wind up, and a wedding to travel to every other weekend this summer, so I’m mostly handling the stress by lurching from one thing to the next.
Emily says
Oh, goodness! How are you even lurching from one thing to the next, and not having someone roll you in a bed on top of roller skates? (anyone else reading George and Martha One Fine Day to their kid?) I hope you get some rest and me time in there!
ER says
biglaw, two pregnancies, long hours during each and lots of all nighters — and I didn’t have any blood pressure problems. I tend to think it’s mostly a coincidence that your biglaw peer group had high blood pressure. I’m not a doctor, though!
AnonBigLaw says
+1 all nighters and what up to 2 days before DD was born, but low BP throughout and healthy uneventful pregnancy and delivery (was AMA too) I think preclampsia has no rhyme or reason.
anon says
I was clerking during my first pregnancy (very, very low stress) and in Biglaw (very, very high stress) during my second pregnancy. I was induced b/c of high blood pressure with my first, but my BP was fine with my second.
I did have one high BP reading during my second pregnancy. During a standard office visit I was hooked up to a BP cuff, but the nurse was called away before she took the measurement. While I was waiting, I got a work email from the lead partner on my case reaming me out for not being in the office at that moment. The nurse popped back in and took my blood pressure. It was beyond off the charts. They retook it at the end of my appointment and it was high, but not nearly as terrible. The doctor wasn’t concerned because it came back down, but the stress clearly had some effect.
Anonymous says
It’s definitely a thing that when you’re momentarily really upset or worried, your blood pressure shoots through the roof. I have naturally very low BP and it was always low even during pregnancy, but I went to the doctor once because I hadn’t felt my baby kick in a while and they took my BP at the beginning of the appointment, before looking for her heartbeat, and I was so worried about her that it was crazy high. They actually freaked out and were talking about sending me for induction (I was around 37 weeks), but I told them to retest it at the end (after they’d assured me the baby was fine) and it was much lower.
PregLawyer says
Litigator here – I had to be induced with my first at 39 weeks because of high blood pressure. With my second, I almost was put on bed rest at 36 weeks because of high BP. It was right after a big hearing that I had argued. My BP went down at the next visit a couple of days later, so it was fine.
I think my job-related stress has definitely impacted my BP during my pregnancies, as well as the length of time it took for me to conceive (7-9 months with each pregnancy, while tracking ovulation). The docs like to downplay the impact of stress, but I just don’t buy it. Stress and anxiety have such a profound impact on my body and health that I can’t imagine it also not affecting conception and pregnancy.
Mrs. Jones says
My BP stayed low while PG. I was a mid-law litigator.
Anonymous says
I was a BigLaw litigator for both of my pregnancies, and spent the second pregnancy in a very high profile, demanding, multi-month trial where I first-chaired for the first time. I’m also obese. You’d think it would be a recipe for pregnancy issues – but with both pregnancies, I was perfectly healthy, had perfect blood pressure, etc.
Leo says
Just venting – and will sound super petty. My birthday is tomorrow. We have a pretty fun and low key weekend planned, which involves a mix of self-care, food, and close friends – so ideal. I asked DH if I could either sleep in or take Saturday morning “off” after nursing our 8 month old, which he readily and happily agreed to.
However, he has been dealing with long hours, fatigue, and the general composition of not being as strong as Mom (sorry take points off my feminist card if y’all need), and has had tons of Saturdays or Sundays to sleep in/rest while I take care of the baby (I do think BF perpetuates this imbalance which is a different conversation all together).
To be fair, I don’t mind since DH and I both work FT and baby is in daycare M-F, and DH is always good to be thankful and make sure I get some solo time later in the weekend. However, he has been working crazy hours this week – not home until 11 PM, and has been dealing with a cold/cough for about 3 weeks now. He is tired, weak, and I know it’s wearing on him. Selfishly, it’s seeming less likely I’ll be able to “take off” on Saturday AM knowing that he will need it to recover, and I’m just annoyed that the ONE time I’ve requested it, it is likely not happening. Humph.
Anonymous says
Just take it off unless he’s saying he absolutely can’t handle it in which case he can hire a babysitter? It’s your birthday and he can sleep in on Sunday. Do you get up all the Saturdays and Sundays? I’d never be able to get up both weekend mornings. I nursed all three kids but DH got up every Sunday morning and I was ‘off’ until 10:30/11am. Just nursed and he took baby when I was done – baby came back about three hours later to nurse again before morning nap. He had Saturday mornings off in exchange.
Anonymous says
I’m confused. Has he said he doesn’t want to do this? If not why are you coddling him? He agreed to give you a morning off. Let him!
Leo says
Hahaha no he hasn’t said that at all, but I suggested it because he seems so pathetic/tired. That’s 100% on me.
Walnut says
Don’t de-prioritize yourself!!
How often have you taken care of your kid when you didn’t feel well, were extremely tired, had a rough day/week/month?
What’s the worst that happens? Your husband tosses kiddo in a pack ‘n play in the living room with a bunch of toys and lays on the couch with occasional diaper changes/bottles/etc?
anne-on says
I am pretty sure about 70% of the fights my husband and I had our baby’s first year were about sleep (who got more, who was more exhausted after working, who was doing more at home and therefore more deserving of sleep, etc. etc. etc.). One thing that really helped us was having an ‘on’ and an ‘off’ parent. I usually get Sunday mornings off and he gets Saturday mornings off – knowing you have that time to sleep and recharge was killer. Also – if you’re really exhausted, can you cut into a freezer stash or simply give the baby formula for one or two feeds? I’d go to bed after baby’s last feed (7 or 8?) and then sleep until about 2am while my husband did a 10 or 11pm dream feed with formula or frozen milk. Having that solid chunk of sleep really helped me, and made it easier to do the 2am and 6am feeds. Conversely – my husband didn’t mind as he then got to sleep solidly from 11-6am or so.
You have my sympathies – this is a tough time!
Leo says
Thank you for the empathy! We are past the night feeds (thankfully) but it’s really about the weekend mornings. I love the idea you and the others shared about being very deliberate about who is “on” during weekend mornings. It will also give DH a chance to hang with DS, as DS is usually asleep by the time DH gets home around 8 PM on weekdays.
Anon says
Don’t borrow trouble. And if he tries to go back on his agreement to let you have Sat off, you pull the birthday card. It sounds like you’ve been doing the heavy lifting of childcare this week while he works until 11pm, so it sounds like you’re BOTH in need of a recovery session.
And then you have a talk with him about alternating weekend mornings. You both work, you both need time to recover. Maybe he gets Sat mornings and you get Sun mornings? Every single weekend. The situation you describe is exactly what leads to resentment in a marriage – you become the default childcare giver when he’s “too tired” to do it. Take steps to fix that now.
Leo says
Love this idea of switching weekend days to carve out solo/recharge time! And +1000 to resentment. As I mentioned in my reply to Anonymous below, it has been something we really struggled with the first 6 months. It feels much more free and clear now, but I think it’s smart to make sure we’re watching out for things that could breed resentment/be “weaponized” later for low blows.
Anonymous says
Nursing doesn’t automatically create an imbalance and if it does your husband isn’t pulling his weight. My 5 month old is exclusively breastfeed and I spend upwards of three hours a day with her attached to my boob. In return, DH does almost all the household chores. I feel like both of us are pretty much always doing baby care or household chores, except during the baby’s weekend afternoon naps when I usually sleep (I need a LOT of sleep) and he goes to the gym. If your husband is “off” while you’re nursing, you need to adjust the distribution of household duties.
Leo says
Thank you, Anon! It was like this for us when I was on mat leave, and I think that is right on.
To provide more context, I had a rough start to BF, and DH and I got into a pretty big disagreement about it and I was pissed and hurt for a long time. As a result, I just took it all on myself and didn’t ask for help because I was so resentful and angry at him. We have just worked through that piece of things after some honest, ugly conversations — and I’ve become better at asking for help (e.g. “Please take care of X”) vs. putting it all on myself but I still struggle with it.
Boston Legal Eagle says
I’d continue to assume that he’ll take Saturday morning. Perhaps he can take tomorrow off as a sick day and recover from his recent stress/illnesses? I don’t think it’s fair for you to always take the burden of all nighttime care and weekend mornings care, just because he is busy with work. Hopefully this is a short-term stress period and not a normal work thing for him, otherwise I’d have a longer discussion about whether this job is right for your family.
Leo says
He’s a mid-level in BigLaw, so his hours are usually closer to 9 AM-7 PM or so. This is definitely a stress period. That being said, I think figuring out ways to balance during these inevitable stress periods is worth a conversation once we’re past this round. I have a demanding job as well, but have a lot more autonomy and flexibility. TY!
Anonymous says
I agree that I’d continue to assume he’s letting you sleep in on Saturday morning, as you agreed. However, if you can afford it, you might suggest hiring a babysitter for Saturday morning so both of you can sleep in. DH and I did this once when we had an important event that lasted until 2 am and involved drinking. Kiddo’s favorite babysitter (and former nanny) came over shortly before wake-up time, I got up to unlock the door and went back to bed, and she gave him breakfast and took him to the playground. It was so, so worth it.
shortperson says
this. yes.
Anonymous says
Yep, this is a great idea.
ITLady says
It sounds like your husband and mine are similar creatures. If he really is truly under the weather (or even if its just a man cold) and reneges on your agreement to let you sleep in this weekend, then I’d ask for him to give you the next Saturday off that he is feeling well. My mother’s day present was supposed to be the same thing for an entire day (so that I could go off and have a spa day and a break from BF) and got cancelled because my parents and a distant family member came into town for the holiday. My only mistake was not committing to a date in lieu of mothers day…so here we are 3 months later and I haven’t gotten my day off yet.
Leo says
Man Cold! What a great term. TY for the feedback and hope you get your day soon.
Anonymous says
There was a post here recently touching on this, but I was wondering if any other new moms felt like they experienced brain changes that affect their job performance? My baby has been sleeping through the night for some time, so I’m not sleep deprived. But I feel like I’m “off my game” at work and am struggling to do my job, especially the more creative parts of it like writing. My brain is just not functioning the same way it was before pregnancy and birth. Is this something I should see a doctor about? Or do I just have to accept that this my new normal? I’m not too worried about getting fired (there are lots of mediocre employees here) but I hate the feeling that I’m not giving my best and that people probably assume I’m consciously leaning out because I’m a mom now.
anne-on says
Sadly, yes, it took me A LONG time to feel like my brain was firing on all cylinders again. And in the interim (and still) I developed a ton of systems to help me be more (or as productive) as before. So – more lists, checklists, folders, calendar invites for deadlines, etc.
I also found it helped to pay more attention to my natural rythms – I’m most productive in the late AM and late afternoon/evening, so I try to save busy work tasks for other times when I can knock them out without having to think too much.
KateMiddletown says
Co-sign all of this – make your brain live outside your body to whatever extent possible – outlook tasks, calendar appointments on both work and personal calendars, to do list on the fridge… write it down or it doesn’t get done has been my saving grace throughout early momhood and pregnancy.
And same for the productivity – if you can get some flexibility to WFH (or panera or whatever), DO IT. You can’t force creativity, and sometimes 2am feedings are when your best ideas come. Work while you have the light!
Spirograph says
Yup, I’ve told friends it just felt like the gears in my brain rusted to the point that it just takes a lot more effort to get them moving. I’m not sure any change in performance was noticeable to my coworkers or managers; I still get kudos at work, it just feels like it takes more mental energy to get there. I also feel like I’ve lost my short term memory, so I’ve become very reliant on note-taking and summarizing meetings immediately afterward in a way that I never needed to do pre-kids.
I’ve chalked it up to my brain having finite processing power, and a lot of it being taken up with home/family things, so there’s just less capacity left over for work. Like anne-on said, it might help to experiment with different productivity and organization systems, both for work and home.
lawsuited says
For me, I felt like a a weird, foggy, sobby version of myself from when I gave birth until I weaned and then I felt back to my old self and my pre-birth work performance returned (although I have never returned to my pre-pregnancy work hours).
EB0220 says
YES! My kids are 4 and 6 now, so it’s not sleep deprivation. Like Spirograph, I’ve just concluded that my brain has a fixed amount of bandwidth and it now requires space for kid stuff. I’ve gotten promoted twice since becoming a parent so I think I’m still performing well at work. But I’m MUCH more reliant on systems, to-do lists and taking notes. I write about this a ton on my site because it’s been so important for my continued functioning as a parent and employee. I use Trello for to-do lists, grocery lists, packing lists, gift lists, etc. I create a lot of Google reminders using the voice function on my phone because I always remember stuff when driving. I rely heavily on my calendars. And I always always take notes in my Rocketbook. I even go so far as to write out lists of errands if I have a bunch of things to do. It’s tough! I feel like my normal self now in terms of creativity, writing, coding, etc. I jus thave to clear my brain enough to focus on those things, and that’s hard for me.
Anonymous says
Yes. It took quite a while to adjust and I’m not sure whether I learned to adapt or returned to normal. One issue for me was that 5-8 pm had always been my sharpest, most productive work time… And is now my only chance to see my kids during the week. Adjusting to not working during that time took, no joke, two years.
GCA says
Yes – this productive period is my husband’s issue too. (I’m much more of an early morning-to-lunchtime person, and it all goes downhill after lunch.) The way it works out with 1 kid is: husband drops kiddo off while I start work early; then he works later while I do pickup and dinner because my brain is too fried to do anything else between 5pm and 10pm. Could you do something like that?
Anonymous says
I ended up changing jobs to a job that is pretty strictly 8-5, rather than litigation, so that took care of that, in a way– I do have to be working by 8, if not earlier, so can’t really see kids at that time other than the 30 min between wake up and daycare drop off. I have had to become more productive earlier in the day.
Mrs. Jones says
I felt that way for a few years after giving birth, and then it improved.
Anonymous says
I think this has been covered before but hoping you’ll all forgive me for asking again. It looks like next weekend I’m going to take my first overnight trip away from husband and daughter since she was born (she’s almost 15 mo now). I’m going to see a friend and husband is taking her to his mother’s for the weekend. I’m far and away her favorite person, in part because she still nurses for comfort.
Any tips for me or husband? I’m ok with using this as an opportunity to wean but I’m not averse to continuing either. Mostly interested in making the separation as easy for her (and DH as possible).
Anon in NYC says
Principally, my advice is to just ride it out. It may be tough, it may not be. But she is presumably used to dad taking care of her, and so even if he’s not her first choice, it will be okay. Plus she will have a lot of distractions – grandma’s house, unfamiliar toys, new activities, etc.
Have you used facetime/duo/skype with her before (calls to grandparents?)? We’ve used those apps with our kid from a young age so she was used to them and calls to DH while he was away didn’t stress her out. But I don’t think it’s a good idea to introduce them if you haven’t already done so.
Anonymous says
I’m confused by “I’m ok with using this as an opportunity to wean…” Do you want to wean or not? If yes, fine (although I’m not sure separation is really a recommended approach). If no, she can have bottles of pumped milk or pumped milk mixed with whole milk if you need it and she’ll drink it. You can keep up your supply by pumping, although you won’t stop producing milk by just taking one overnight off. One way to make the separation easier is to keep her routine as similar to home as you can. Take some familiar toys and comfort items, and keep her schedule the best they can.
Snoo? says
Does anyone own the Snoo? Any reviews to share? TIA!
Anonymous says
We found a used one on Craigslist when our baby was 4 weeks old. Wish we had bought one (even full-priced) sooner. It was every bit as good as all the reviews said. The baby went from being up every 2 hours (i.e., ate at 8, down at 8:20, up at 10) to having to be woken up. We traveled when she was 8 weeks and 12 weeks and she slept great in her Snoo swaddle, no Snoo. My children are not good sleepers, so I credit the Snoo for all of it. They are running an experimental trial on whether it can help alleviate postpartum depression. It’s that good.
s anon says
We have had one since our first child was born in February and love it!! (We did get it on sale.) Our baby seemed to be a champion sleeper in it — whenever she cried, she fell asleep almost immediately in the Snoo. She also learned to soothe herself and transitioned well to sleeping in cribs at daycare at 12 weeks. We are in “weaning” mode now, which has also been easy — she sleeps well with just the white noise and no rocking movement. We will soon transition her to her crib. But we also just may have a baby who is a great sleeper — we have nothing to compare it too. All the positive reviews you see out there have been our experience as well. She’s five months old and for the last few months has consistently slept from 6pm – 5am with one feeding before my husband goes to bed at 11. I have heard so many crazy baby sleep stories and we never had that experience, which I do attribute to the Snoo, but who knows. We think it’s great.
Anonymous says
OMG that is expensive.
Anonymous says
Yeah, I’ve posted this before but Harvey Karp just strikes me as a bit scammy. He has some good techniques but I find it kind of gross that he’s using his baby whisper status to sell all these $$$$ products.
LittleBigLaw says
Needing to celebrate a small work win this morning. I’ve been back to work for about 5 months after 2nd kiddo was born, and I’ve had 2 really good billable months (for me) in a row. I feel like I might finally be hitting my stride after really struggling to manage work/family for a long time – pretty much since DD1 was born. So, encouragement for anyone in the trenches this morning and feeling stuck in the fog of new mommyhood. (I think) it gets better! :)
lawsuited says
Well done!
FTM says
Recommendations for books about newborns/babies? We got What to Expect the First Year but are struggling to get through it because the writing is so hokey and full of puns. We’d rather something more to-the-point. Our favorite pregnancy book has been The Birth Partner, for reference…
SC says
Heading Home With Your Newborn and Happiest Baby on the Block.
Anonymous says
+1 but get the Happiest Baby DVD. Heading Home is great, not overly long. For sleep, check out https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0751HW27M/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1
It just summarizes all the other sleep experts.
CCLA says
I liked Baby 411, not to read cover to cover (though you could), but as a reference. I found it relatively straightforward. I also used Moms on Call a lot, which has a mild religious bent to it – I am not religious at all, but I liked it for the clear schedules they laid out; I do think you can get 90% of the benefit from just reviewing the sample schedules, which are probably online. Also bought and referred sporadically to Happiest Baby on the Block. I found it most beneficial to get the kindle versions so that I could use the search function or TOC to find a relevant topic.
Boston Legal Eagle says
I haven’t read the Birth Partner but for newborns/babies, I liked Heading Home with your Newborn, Happiest Baby on the Block (I think that’s the 5 Ss one?) and Baby 411 just as a reference. My husband liked all of these as well. I read Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child also and liked parts of it but remember feeling like it was pretty repetitive and long.
LH says
Heading Home with Your Newborn covers all the essentials (feeding, diapering, sleep, illness, car safety, baby’s brain development, choosing a doctor, even mom’s postpartum recovery). Happiest Baby is very focused on how to soothe a crying baby, which is useful, but it doesn’t cover a lot of things that are more important imo – especially if you’re lucky enough to get a baby who doesn’t really cry unless they need something. I can’t imagine reading only that book unless you’ve had a LOT of babysitting experience.
Baby 411 is a good reference but definitely not something you sit down and read cover to cover.
KateMiddletown says
At the risk of promoting vaccination wackiness, I really liked Dr Sears’ book. (I did an alternate vax schedule with my #1, but I’m going normal western medicine with #2.) Take every book with a grain of salt – nothing is perfect.
I also just downloaded Wonder Weeks at the advice of someone here (I think the app includes a copy of the book?)
Anonymous says
I do not support Babywise at ALL (based on religious beliefs I do not share, rather than science, focused on breaking the will of the child etc). HOWEVER I found their information about appropriate wake time intervals for infants/babies the most helpful to use out of any.
Anon says
Precious Little Sleep! I found dealing with naps, nighttime sleep, and sleep deprivation to be the hardest part of new parenthood. I read quite a few baby sleep books out of desperation, but this one really resonated with me and it offered multiple sleep training options so you can pick what you’re comfortable with. There’s also a really great Facebook group for support and questions, too.
octagon says
I really liked the Fourth Trimester for those first three months. It helped a lot.
The Wonder Weeks app was also terrific, and for us, pretty spot on. (It doesn’t include a copy of the book, but I found it comprehensive enough I didn’t need the book in addition.)
AnonMom says
We liked Birth Partner. DH liked 1 below but otherwise didn’t care for the books. I liked the others listed below.
1. Mayo Clinic Guide to the First Year
2. Bringing up Bebe
3. Secrets of a Baby Whisperer
4. Ferber (only one chapter is about CIO, which we didn’t have to do b/c DC STTN from 2 months, but the first few chapters are really informative about how sleep develops in newborns, and can help you figure out how to help newborns figure out how to sleep)
5. Babywise (with a grain of salt but few books will tell you to start working on sleep from Day 1, and this one will, which i appreciate)
AnonMom says
Oh, and the Happiest Baby on the Block DVD is priceless. DH swears by that one too! and his recommendations are very few (but include Birth Partner and Mayo Clinic Guide)
shortperson says
main things i used for my newborn were healthy sleep habits, happy child and breastfeeding made simple. what to expect was useful for reference purposes. luckily newborns are not too complicated
Tunnel says
Secrets of a Baby Whisperer and Babywise
Anonymous says
Moms, is it ok to buy crib bedding second-hand? Aside from bed bug fears, is there any reason not to if I wash the heck out of it in hot water? I ask because the current bedding styles just aren’t me and there’s an adorable pattern from PBK from several years ago.
Anon in NYC says
I think it’s fine.
LH says
Make sure the elastic is still tight. In my crib sheets (also from Pottery Barn) the elastic is already starting to wear down (after only 6 months), and sheets aren’t safe unless they’re very fitted and tight around the mattress.
Aly says
Go for it.
KateMiddletown says
Just sheets? Totally.
Anonymous says
Honestly, I’d be pretty hesitant because I’d worry it came from a smoking home.
Re snoo says
Assuming this won’t thread:
I don’t have one but a close friend who is off on mat leave with me does. Her 9 week old has basically always needed to be woken to feed while in the snoo, since birth. My 7 week old just started giving me a 5 hour stretch with help from the zen swaddle. If I wasn’t on baby #2 and done I would try to justify buying a snoo.
No idea how hard it will be to transition out of the snoo though.
BettyS says
Re: books. “Your babies first year.” Endorsed by the american academy of pediatrics. Kind of dry but very comprehensive. Not crunchy at all.. “if your child wakes at night, reasuure them, but certainly don’t take them into bed with you..”… but very good about developmental stages, feeding timelines, sleep patterns, medical stuff.
Anonymous says
I have 3 kids, newborn, 2, and 4.5 (not going to a kinder next year). The older two get along really well and are best buddies. I’m trying to figure out childcare now that there are three in the mix and can’t decide what makes the most sense.
– preschool for A, Daycare for B, nanny for C, with A&B in school at the same time (most mornings)
– preschool for A, daycare for B, nanny for C with either A or B home with C (eg. A in school MWF, B in school tues/Thurs, C home at all times)
– daycare for B&C, preschool for A, nanny for all three after 3pm every day (preschool only goes to 3; daycare could go to 6).
– preschool for A, “mommy’s time out” type group for B 2 mornings a week, then nanny for mainly B&C.
Costs are all high and at this point the difference is somewhat negligible. A has been in her preschool for 2 years and it’s 9-3. We are not switching programs. B has been in daycare for a year already and we’d send C to the same one. I’m more thing to figure out which kids to have home together. FWIW we hang fojnd a nanny yet, so it might depend on if we end up on a “young fun” nanny vs an older grandmotherly type.
Before the baby, I worked part time and A and B go to their respective schools 9-1 the same 3 days per week, and I had a sitter 3-6pm.
WWYD? Things to consider?
octagon says
Do you have space for an au pair? The third option seems easiest logistically, and an au pair could help out in the mornings too, including getting B&C to daycare and A to preschool.
Anon in NYC says
I agree that option 3 seems the easiest from a logistical perspective, followed perhaps by option 1 as the next easiest choice (because the nanny could pick up A&B, or just A and a parent could pick up B).
Anon in NYC says
Oh, I guess another thing to consider is whether A&B can go to the same preschool (my daughter is in a preschool that takes kids at age 2).
Then you could consider preschool for A&B and a full-time nanny for C, who picks up A&B at school.
Anonymous says
No, they can’t go to the same school. AB&C could all go to the same daycare but we want A in her current preschool.
Anonymous says
Re: option 3, having all 3 is tough, so I was f sure how it would work having the nanny ONLY have all 3, and at the worst time of day (witching hour).
Anonymous says
Oh and ideally I’d keep C out of daycare until she’s >1. My oldest went to daycare @ 12 weeks, my younger went at 15 months and it was a world of difference in terms of sicknesses. With 3 kids I’m sure Nov-April will be a nonstop sick fest but preschool is pretty good about germs. It’s teally daycare that’s the issue. Par for the course.
Anon in NYC says
If your preference is to keep C at home until she’s over 1, then I think option 1 is your best option.
Anonymous says
We are planning for an AP next year when A is in Kindy, when B isn’t a Terrible Two and when C is a little older. I want an experienced nanny with a tough toddler and a tiny infant in the picture.
Anon says
Nursing mom here and I completely agree with OP’s original comment that BF creates an imbalance.
I am all for woman’s/mom’s choices, but in retrospect, I realize that my decision to have natural childbirth really caused my husband grief. And BF really made a lot more work for both of us. So, I disagree with any idea that husbands and fathers shouldn’t have a say in these choices – their say might not dictate or win, but it matters. If OP is BF against DH’s wishes, that’s hard b/c it creates a good bit of extra work for the couple to bear. Does make it harder for OP to complain. OP, I would wean or taper. You’ve reached solids. The BF just really isn’t that valuable any more.
Anon says
Oops, meant for Leo says
Anonymous says
How does BFing create extra work? I can see how exclusive pumping generates more work, because mom has to pump and then mom or someone else has to feed the baby a bottle, so it’s twice as much work for each feed. But BFing seems even easier than formula feeding, because there aren’t any bottles to warm up or wash. OP should not feel guilty about weaning if she wants to, but I think it’s absolutely ridiculous for a husband to tell his wife she has to stop breastfeeding because it creates extra work for him. I wouldn’t stay married to a guy who told me I should stop nursing because he didn’t like being the main person responsible for the baby’s other needs or household chores.
Anonymous says
Many women on this site are working mothers who are separated from their children 8+ hours per day. If they breastfeed, that means 3-4 pumping sessions per workday. That is a ton of extra work beyond breastfeeding with no pumping.
Anonymous says
Well, that’s pumping, which is different. Leo’s original post mentioned nursing on weekend mornings which has nothing to do with pumping at work. And you can wean from the pump but still nurse morning/night, many women here have.
Anyway, that’s extra work for MOM not dad. Even if he’s a stay at home parent, why is giving a bottle of pumped breastmilk harder than giving a bottle of formula? And if he’s not a stay at home parent, then it’s a nanny or daycare teacher giving the bottles, so what on earth does this have to do with more work for dad?
anon says
I breastfed two kids and am glad for the experience, but in hindsight, I can see how it put extra work on my plate (not DH’s). You can’t offload it; there’s no way to share. And major props to anyone who exclusively pumps because that is like triple the work of either BFing or bottle feeding.
Anonymous says
It’s only extra work for the mom if you have a partner who doesn’t pull his/her weight. Because nursing was such a huge task for me, DH did way more than half of everything else. But even if you have a dad who doesn’t do that much while mom BFs, how can BF-ing possibly create extra work for dad? And how does natural childbirth affect dad? I feel like the OP of this thread has to be a tr0ll because it’s just so nonsensical.
Anonymous says
Pretty sure you’re the troll.
anon says
I’m curious — how did natural childbirth cause your husband grief? I don’t get it; it was your body that did all the work. I agree that BFing creates a lot more work for the mom, but it seems to follow that it would mean LESS work for the dad.
Anonymous says
In our house, Dad was mostly in charge of cleaning/sterilizing pumping supplies. It seemed fair since I was taking the time to use them and was largely unable to work during that time due to my office set up (and need to massage often while pumping). That said, I do tend to think that stuff evens out with the bottles we aren’t using for all the nursing feedings.
Anonymous says
Pump parts can be run through the dishwasher once a day…it literally takes about 30-60 seconds to load and unload them. It’s not really a major task. And if you use formula, you have to prepare it, which takes more time than washing pump parts once a day (unless you use super expensive ready-to-feed).
For OP asking about Snoo says
I ordered the Snoo well before my baby was here due to a sale (60% off) and scheduled delivery for my due date. Baby was a week early but spent time in NICU and I started using Snoo with her after a week at home when she was 12 days old. She sleeps well in it with only one wake up per night. She is not a great sleeper otherwise. For naps if I don’t use it I get short and very fitful catnaps. We put her in when she is drowsy but awake and she falls asleep quickly. It is expensive but my greatest fear was lack of sleep and this has helped with that issue for sure. I recommend it but as many others have said try for secondhand or wait for a sale. I do plan to sell mine when she ages out of it as we are pretty certain we are a one and done family.