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I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again: scarves can be great accessories when you’re breastfeeding, nursing, and beyond. Don’t fit into your regular clothes yet? Scarves help switch it up. Have to breastfeed your baby somewhere public? Pull out a regular scarf to help give you more coverage. Pumping at the office and got a spot on your blouse? Throw a scarf on to cover it up. This particular one has a nice dark bamboo pattern on there, is hand washable, and is only $85. (And, ShopBop is now part of sister company Amazon’s Prime program — nice!) Spun Scarves by Subtle Luxury Bamboo Scarf
Sales of note for 9.10.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 30% off your purchase
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything + extra 20% off
- Boden – 15% off new styles
- Eloquii – $29 and up select styles; up to 50% off everything else
- J.Crew – Up to 50% off wear-to-work styles; extra 30% off sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – 40-60% off everything; extra 60% off clearance
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Extra 40% off sale styles
- Talbots – BOGO 50% everything, includes markdowns
- Zappos – 26,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Birthday sale, 40-50% off & extra 20% off select styles
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off all baby; up to 40% off all Halloween
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Extra 30% off sale styles
- Old Navy – 40% off everything
- Target – BOGO 25% off select haircare, up to 25% off floor care items; up to 30% off indoor furniture up to 20% off TVs
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- The concept of “backup care” is so stupid…
- I need tips on managing employees in BigLaw who have to leave for daycare pickup…
- I’m thinking of leaning out to spend more time with my family – how can I find the perfect job for that?
- I’m now a SAHM and my husband needs to step up…
- How can I change my thinking to better recognize some of my husband’s contributions as important, like organizing the shed?
- What are your tips to having a good weekend with kids, especially with little kids? Do you have a set routine or plan?
JJ says
Ok y’all, potty training advice needed. My son is 2.5 years old and he’s in diapers. At daycare, they tell me that he’s excellent at using the potty, telling them when he needs to go, etc. They say that he’s ready for diapers and potty training. At home, we ask about the potty all the time, and he tells us no and just uses his diapers. We tried underwear for a few days over the weekend and he just would go to the bathroom, without asking (and about 10 seconds after I asked if he needed to go and he said no). Obviously, we didn’t yell or scold him for it, but it just seems like at home, for whatever reason, he’s not ready yet.
I know most of parenting is flying by the seat of your pants, but for those that have been there…any tips? Tricks? Books or methods that you recommend? I literally have no idea what we’re doing when it comes to potty training.
anon eagle says
Hi JJ.
I am potty training my oldest daughter (19 months). She is not quite grasping the whole concept, but we are getting her familiar with sitting on the toilet. I never ask her if she needs to go. I tell her, “We are going to go sit on the toilet now.” If I give her the option, she always shouts, “NO!” So I announce we are going to sit on the toilet and I let her look at pictures on my phone while she sits there for a few minutes. Then I say, “Shhhhh, do you hear anything?” and she listens to hear the sound of urine going in the toilet. We listen together for a few minutes. Then she hops off and we make a big deal about flushing the toilet. I sit her on the toilet 30-45 mins after she drinks fluids. I set a kitchen timer to help me remember. I also sit her on there first thing in the morning and right before the bath time.
mascot says
It took 9 months between my son intermittently using the potty at school to him being ready to do it full time during the day at home. At school, there are lots of peer examples and class time dedicated to this that you can’t replicate at home. Just continue to offer the potty at home. We read some books and picked out big kid underwear to get him excited. We replaced our seats with those built in kids seats as well as had some small potties in the bathrooms. The kid had options! We also used a reward system for a while (m&m’s maybe?) for when he produced as well as offered a ton of praise. We encouraged “just sitting” at regular intervals, esp. around sleep and meals. (There are similarities here with puppies!) Be prepared to carry the potty in the car once he starts getting the hang of it. My son wasn’t confident that he could wait, so anytime that he announced he had to go, we were prepared to make it happen right there. That phase only lasted for a few weekends and then he learned how to hold it. We had to accept that he was on different trajectories at school and at home. Looking back, I wouldn’t have wasted much time stressing. Like everything else, kids do it when they are ready.
Nighttime training was a whole different story and that took much longer. We were in pullups at night until 3.5 and many kids at 4 still aren’t there.
Anonymous says
We potty trained my son at about the same age. He adamently refused to use the toilet at preschool. We prepared him first (reading potty books, having him watch us go to the bathroom, buying him undies with cars on them, talking about various things he could do when he was a big boy (i.e., not in diapers). Then we spent a month doing low level potty training (getting him to sit on the potty in various stages of undress in exchange for a small reward (e.g., a sticker, getting to stay up 5 minutes later, etc.). Then one Wednesday night we kicked it into high gear (he needed to be potty trained in the next month for a new preschool he was about to start). We knew what time he always went #1 after dinner and made him sit on the potty then and promised him a cupcake (normally he only gets sweets at birthday parties) if he used the toilet. Success. We repeated the next two nights and then if was Saturday. I bought juice and chocolate milk (also things he never gets) to ensure he would need to go frequently (otherwise he would only need to go 3 times per day) and when he got up we told him he was going to wear undies all day and would need to use the toilet. He had two accidents that morning but then it clicked (and we got better at identifying his signals). We promised him an M&M if he did #1, and that was sufficient inducement and we made a big deal over how great he was doing every time he went. By Sunday afternoon, he was doing #1 by himself, but not #2. So I promised a hotwheels car if he did #2 and it worked. We sent stickers to preschool with him on Monday and instructed the teacher to give him one when he used the potty and he did great. That was 1.5 months ago and he’s only had a handful of accidents since. We don’t have to bribe him any more either– that only lasted for the first two weeks. He isn’t night-potty trained (he sleeps so soundly I don’t think he would wake up), but complains about wearing a diaper at bedtime.
TL; DR version- slowly build up to using the potty and then bribery.
mascot says
Re: nighttime training. We live in a hot climate, so I am reluctant to limit fluids too much. But, we don’t offer more than a sip of water after dinner. Potty time before bath, then off to bed. A few hours later, once we are about to go to bed, we do a “dream pee” and sit him on the potty. He basically sleep walks through it. This prevents most accidents these days. We also realized that he tended to be dry all night, then wet his pullup when he was waking up. So we spent several weeks either waking him up and sending him straight to the bathroom (step one) and then having him come to our room to show us his dry pullup and get lots of praise and use our bathroom (step 2). Now he’s self-sufficient and rarely has nighttime mishaps. Once every few months, maybe.
Anonymous says
Thanks for the suggestion. My reluctance to embark on nighttime potty training stems from the fact that my son still sleeps in a crib. He hasn’t realized he can climb out. And I like having him contained, especially since he has recently started asking to sleep with me. But good advice for the inevitable day when we have to give up the crib.
hoola hoopa says
I’m intrigued by him using the potty more at daycare than at home, because our kids were the opposite. So I can’t specifically help there, but I would ask them for details about how it works there. How often does he go between bathroom trips? Does he ask or do they take him? Is it him solo or do all the other kids go at the same time? What ‘reward’ do they give? (ie, praise, classroom clapping, chart, etc). Do they have a child-sized toilet or a regular toilet with an insert? Might highlight something for you to try at home.
As for general PT advice: Put in underwear, take him to the potty every 45 minutes. Ideally he’ll sit every time, but if he insists on not sitting, then don’t fight. There will be accidents, but hopefully he’ll figure it out in 2-3 days. For one of my kids (who didn’t seem to mind wetting herself…), we had to use jelly beans. One for #1, two for #2. That worked like magic, and eventually we weaned her off them. Some kids don’t like to use big toilets, even with an insert, so they do better with a little potty. Others refuse a little potty and want the real toilet.
JJ says
Thanks, everyone, for such great advice (as usual). I think our biggest problem at home is simply not making him sit on the potty often enough. I love the ideas of bribery and the kitchen timer as a reminder.
Anon says
We use candy as a bribe – one gummy bear if she self-identifies that she needs to pee and 10 if she self-identifies need to do #2. This seems to be a huge motivator – will deal with phasing out candy down the road once diapers are associated with her baby sister.
(former) preg 3L says
Thanks for all the advice yesterday on pumping in my new office! I decided to move the “curtain” (it’s one of those paper folding blinds with plastic clips on the bottom) from the visitor office to my office. I’m confident I’m the only one who will need pumping accommodations in the next 3-5 years, so I was comfortable moving the curtain to my office. My door locks and my secretary (who’s hugely supportive of me pumping!) said she’ll make a “do not disturb” sign for my office. Hopefully I’ll be able to get a little more work done this way! I don’t think I need to get a mini fridge, but I might if I need more bottles (right now I only pump 2x/day and all 4 bottles fit in my pump bag). So far, only one attorney commented on the curtain and all he had to say was that he thinks all the offices should have one! He didn’t ask why I have it and I didn’t tell him that I’m pumping. Thanks again for the advice everyone :)
Meg Murry says
I think that’s the right call, although I would suggest asking the office manager to order another curtain for the visiting office – its possible one of the visiting attorneys will also be a pumping mom or you’ll have a new hire that needs to pump and you don’t want to have to give up your curtain or let them use your office.
Famouscait says
How timely of me to ask this question on “Feeding Tuesday”…
I’m struggling with the decision of whether or not to br**stfeed. I’m wondering if there are any other mothers out there who also struggled with the decision? If you didn’t BF, at any point did you wish you had? Did you go into the hospital for labor/delivery knowing what you would (or wouldn’t do), or did anyone wait to see how they felt about it in the moments after birth?
Last night DH and I went to a BF’ing class at the hospital where I’ll deliver. I’ve always been on the fence about the issue (and lean towards formula only) but our rough plan was to try it while I’m home on maternity leave, and then be 100% formula at about the 3 month mark. The class last night really brought up some emotional issues for me, and I’m left feeling like I don’t want to do it at all. DH is (as always) supportive; his advice is to stay open-minded and see how I feel about it when the moment arises right after birth. My gut says we need to have a plan to do it or not; that if we’re at all ambivalent about the issue the nurses and lactation consultants (who taught the extremely judgmental and formula-negative class last night) will run right over my/our preferences.
(former) preg 3L says
I’m so sorry that the BFing class was so formula-negative. Formula is awesome and allows a HUGE amount of freedom. I knew I wanted to BF, so I don’t have much advice on that front, but I hope you can have a candid discussion with your doc about this — whoever delivers your baby should be able to help mitigate judgmental nurses at the hospital. Also, it’s totally wrong for nurses in L&D or Recovery to be judgmental about that. Most important thing is healthy mom & healthy baby, which also means mom needs to be happy, which can mean 100% formula from day 1. You do you! I’m ragey at your hospital on your behalf!
Anon says
+1 to everything (former) preg 3L said.
Also, for a laugh – http://www.theonion.com/articles/new-study-finds-link-between-breastfeeding-always,36823/
Famouscait says
Yes – this made me laugh. My sister actually was the first person to show it to me, and she BF each of her kids for a full year each!
Meg Murry says
The nurses/LCs really can’t force you – short of ripping off your shirt and squashing baby on you. However, if you are at a BF favoring hospital, you may have to sign a paper every time you want baby to be given a bottle. Even if you aren’t sure, you should learn bottle feeding techniques as well – because there’s more to it than just “shove nipple in baby’s mouth”. Have you checked out fearlessformulafeeder.com at all? Its a good resource.
Are you willing to post where you are located? Someone might be able to recommend a LC who is more neutral about the topic – for instance, the one I used was much more of a “I’ll help you bf for as long as you and baby want, rule number 1 is feed the baby” as opposed to “formula is the devil”
I was somewhat wishy-washy about bf with baby number 1, and because we had some issues at the beginning and I wasn’t ready to shell out $300 out of pocket for a pump right away (before ACA offered them with no charge) I missed the window for my milk to fully come in. My baby wound up 100% bottle-fed – I pumped 6 times a day and he got that milk at home, but that was only about 50% of what he needed and the remaining 50% was formula.
I think you’ll probably have the opposite problem of what you expect – if you aren’t 100% all in for the first week or 2, it will be easier and easier to just offer a bottle instead of breast. And if that’s ok with you, go with it – but its a lot harder to bf if you don’t get a good milk supply established in the first 2-3 weeks.
What did your mother or aunts do? Do any of them live near you? Talking to a person you love and trust outside of just bf about it really helps – my aunts, mother and MIL were really helpful to me, both in supporting me with stories of “this is a lot harder than anyone makes it out to be” and “I tried but went to formula by x months” to show me it was ok and “I bf until age y” to show me it could be done.
JJ says
I agree with everything Meg says. BFing is hard, and it was especially hard for me for my first. He took over a month to learn how to latch properly and until that time, I was exclusively pumping. If I hadn’t been committed to BFing, it would have been much easier to use just formula.
But also remember that it doesn’t have to be an all-or-nothing decision. For number 2, I wanted to BF, but I also knew that I probably couldn’t exclusively pump for an extended period of time. So we started formula and bottles early so that the baby was familiar with them. I would BF during the day and my husband would take a formula feed early at night, so I could get a solid stretch (4 hours…) of sleep. I was much more laissez faire with the second kid and realized that a combination of the two worked best for our family.
Famouscait says
I hadn’t thought of trying to find the type of Lactation Consultant you describe, but perhaps that’s what I need to do. The one who taught the class last night was my first encounter, so it’s good to hear that there might be someone out there who can help me understand the realities of both feeding methods.
NewMomAnon says
Yes, do remember that they can’t force you to BF! In fact, one of my hospital “lactation consultants” spent much of the last two days of my hospital stay trying to convince me to bottle feed. I nearly kicked her out of my room. I found that in the hospital, the pressure was really to bottle feed or supplement, since they were worried about jaundice and my milk hadn’t come in yet. I felt like any little thing that deviated from a 100% normal baby resulted in a push to use formula.
Part of being a modern mom is learning to pick and choose the information you take in – there are extreme views on every topic and they seem to use emotional leverage to get you to come around to their position (example A: attachment parenting versus cry-it-out literature). Hopefully you have a good pediatrician who meshes with your parenting instincts to help you cut through all of it!
anon eagle says
When I worked on the maternity ward back in the day, we asked each laboring mother if they preferred breast or bottle feeding (or both). It was simply a box to check on the paperwork. Many women chose to bottle feed. I think you are right and it is good to have a plan. If you do not have a clearly stated plan and choose not to br feed, the nurse/LC may encourage you to put the baby on your breast “just to try.” Be prepared to firmly re-state your preference to each nurse at every shift change. It’s just part of the paperwork.
Sarabeth says
I knew I wanted to breast feed and did so for more than a year, but if I knew I wanted to be done with it by 3 months, I’m not sure it would have been worth it. For me, the first 6 weeks or so of breastfeeding were hard – I was super engorged, my nipples hurt, and letdown was painful. It took awhile for my supply to regulate, so I was waking up overnight even when my husband was trying to take a wakeup & let me sleep. It was worth it to me, because I knew I wanted to keep it up long term, but for 3 months? Maybe not.
On the other hand, as I’m sure you know, you will get most of the benefits of breastfeeding if you do mixed feeding – the formula in no way cancels out the antibodies that are in the breastmilk. So if it comes relatively easily to you, you may still think it’s worth it.
Famouscait says
This is good perspective – thank you for sharing.
Lyssa says
I’m sorry that you’re feeling bad about it. Personally, I went into it with the attitude that I would play it by ear – if it worked, great, if not, no big deal. For me, I had very low supply and he had low sugars at first, so we had to supplement from the very start, and it was really not a big deal – no one gave me a hard time. The lactation consultant at the hospital set up this supplemental thing where a tiny tube attached to a formula bottle was taped to my b00b so that he would suck and get formula, but still get the idea that he was supposed to get it from me, which was kind of neat.
From there, I just kept doing what seemed to work. We always had to supplement because of low supply, but he was mostly on b-milk for the first several weeks. It was hard and frustrating because of supply, but it was OK. Around 4 weeks, I started weaning and doing formula every other feeding, and was on full formula by the time that I went back to work (8 weeks), which I’m happy with (pumping at work sounds dreadful, and I’m glad that I didn’t do it.)
Overall, I’m happy with how we did it. Feeding was OK, but I never felt like it was a great bonding experience or deeply fulfilling the way some people seem to – I liked bottle feeding much better for that. I’ll probably do the same thing next time, but if I don’t b-feed at all, that would be fine, too. The only thing that I would say not to do is to get super-hung up on b-feeding and convince yourself that formula is somehow a bad substitute – it truly is not; formula is just fine (remember that the studies that show b-milk is better really only show that the types of women who breastfeed tend to be better off in a lot of other ways, which we already knew).
I hope that that helps, and good luck with the rest of pregnancy!
NewMomAnon says
You don’t need a firm plan before having the baby; just buy a couple nursing tank tops, some lanolin, bottles (you’ll need them eventually anyway) and a can of formula so you have what you need for the first week either way. Also, read a bit about different kinds of formula; we had to supplement for a week, and I discovered that formula wasn’t quite as simple as I had assumed.
I wasn’t tied to the idea of nursing but tried it right away since I figured we could always switch to formula later; nursing worked for us and I love the closeness with my kiddo, but I’d still switch to formula if pumping or late-night feedings didn’t work for me anymore. Just know that neither way is “wrong” and whichever way makes you happiest is going to be the best emotionally and developmentally for your baby too.
(former) preg 3L says
One note on “buy a can of formula so you have what you need” — I learned/realized that my daughter has a dairy sensitivity (she was screaming for hours every night and finally someone told me to cut out dairy, and that mercifully solved our screaming problem), so whatever formula you buy, don’t buy a HUGE quantity! Your baby might need soy formula or something. FWIW, we supplement as needed with Similac Isomil Soy and our pediatrician said that any type of Enfamil or Similac is fine with her. But find a pediatrician and ask them about this too! They will be your biggest resource.
FVNC says
For many people (myself included), BFing is hardest at the beginning. In my case, it was several months before BFing felt easy and “natural.” If you want to try BFing during your maternity leave, go for it — but if you have any difficulty, consider switching to formula quickly so that you don’t spend your entire leave stressing over BFing logistics and hassles. I was willing to put up with the hassle b/c I wanted to continue BFing upon returning to work, but at times it was quite stressful.
Whatever decision you make, be confident and secure in it. You’ll continue to get subtle and not-so-subtle messaging that BFing is the only acceptable option for feeding your child; even at the pediatrician’s office, you’ll probably see LOTS of info about BFing and its benefits. Be prepared for this and try to develop a thick skin against the judgement. I’m so sorry you experienced the anti-formula attitude at your class, but unfortunately I think that is a pervasive mindset (and it s*cks).
mascot says
We supplemented from the beginning and didn’t get too much hassle from the hospital staff. For us, BFing had a really rocky start, but we made it to my going back to work. I was very grateful for an understanding outpatient lactation consultant. The hospital was just too overwhelming for me to take it all in and she oculd work with me in a relaxed fashion. Some of my friends swore by their new mom nursing groups for helping them navigate a rather steep learning curve. I think sometimes that you get a fatalistic attitude from people that the first bottle will doom you. That’s not really true. But, you will have to stick it out for a few weeks (regular sessions, but not necessarily every feeding) to let your body adjust production.
Feed your baby. The method is entirely up to you.
Spirograph says
I did choose to BF, so I don’t have specific advice on your question. But, 100% formula is a perfectly legitimate choice, and I’m sure you have good reasons for it. Don’t let the BF mafia get you down. I’m glad your husband is supportive. Can you designate him to run interference for you and deal with any nurses/lactation consultants? That might allow you to keep your options open if you haven’t decided 100% before you head to the hospital, without having to worry about being pressured into something you’re uncomfortable with once you’re there.
FWIW, if you do decide to give BF a shot, try it for at least a few days — on the spectrum of “issues,” I was lucky to have none, but absolutely nothing about it felt natural or instinctive to me at first, so maybe don’t use that as your sole guide.
CHJ says
I know exactly how you’re feeling, and I felt the same way throughout my pregnancy. There is something about how bf’ing is pushed these days that made me not want to do it at all. I felt like my agency and my choice was being taken away. I didn’t like the idea of being guilted by nurses at the hospital, too. Plus there’s all this fear-mongering about all the things that can go wrong, but nevertheless you should never give your child a drop of formula, etc. The entire thing felt completely irrational and irritating to me and made me want to revolt.
All that said, I went into the hospital with the reluctant attitude that I would try it until we got home, and then make the call. I ended up having a very, very easy time of it. My son was champion nurser and it was much, much easier than I expected. I ended up nursing him for over a year (still bf’ing at night and on weekends, even though I’ve stopped pumping). I still can’t really believe that I’ve successfully bf’ed him this long after being so anxious about it before he was born. I say try it for a day or two, see how it goes, and then decide. And try to put all the other voices out of your head — this is your baby, your body, and you are a smart, rational person who can make the best choices for both of you.
ELL says
I found breastfeeding surprisingly easy too–especially at night. The convenience of it makes me more relaxed and happy but that’s clearly not the case for everyone. I think a big question is what is right for the mom. Your baby needs a mom who takes care of the needs of both parties, as you seem to understand. I wouldn’t worry about deciding in advance. And I’m so sorry to hear you feel pressured.
Anonymous says
I breastfed/pumped for 11 months, when my supply dried up. If I were having another kid, I would not breastfeed at all. I felt like I had no control over my body an had to be in a position to feed the baby or pump every 2 hours. So don’t feel like you have to breastfeed.
CPA Lady says
I’m in the same boat as you, Famoucait, and I’m really heartened to see so many accepting and positive responses. I too am planning to supplement from the beginning and then switch fully to formula by the time I go back to work at 12 weeks for a variety of reasons. And honestly, I would probably do exclusive formula from the very beginning if I didn’t feel so pressured to BF because “It’s What We Do.”
So my plan is to try BFing and see if I like it, if it seems doable, etc. If not, I’ll quit without worrying, and just do formula. One of the most helpful things I read on the topic was on some Australian national health website, which I’m now kicking myself for not bookmarking. Instead of “bre@st is best, formula is failure”, it had a very positive “however far you go with BFing, even trying it once or doing it for a couple of weeks, you’ve done a good thing” message. It was just so positive and supportive and made me want to give it a shot.
oil in houston says
another day another question….
my insurance is paying for 3 types of breast pump, does anyone have experience with either? the company that makes / sells them is genadyne
Melodi Advanced Breast Pump
Medela Breast Pump – Pump In Style Advanced
Ameda Breast Pump – Purely Yours
thanks
Spirograph says
I had the Medela and liked it… although I have nothing to compare it to. I plan to get another one for baby #2 because I already have the extra accessories for it and I have no reason to switch. One of the other moms who often ended up on the other side of the partition from me in the pumping room at work had the Ameda, and I did notice that her pump was a lot quieter than mine. That may have been the settings we had it on, though.
One thing to consider is the bottle mouth sizes. It’s obviously not a huge deal to pour milk from one bottle to another, but if you feel strongly about (or have a lot of) a certain type of bottle, it’s easier to pick the pump designed for that size.
T. McGill says
I have the Medela Pump In Style Advanced (messenger bag, not book bag), and no experience with the other two. I like my pump. I am actually using it as I type this response. This is the second baby I am using it for.
The one in the messenger bag comes out, so its easy to transport in a work tote and place on my desk at work or nightstand at home (whereas the pump in the book bag is incorporated into the bag and cannot be removed).
Spirograph says
I would have chosen the messenger bag, but my insurance only offered the bookbag, so that’s what I got. The lack of removability always annoyed me! On the plus side, the bookbag did keep everything nicely contained and the cooler with bottles upright. Plus set up was a snap: you just unzip the little front pouch (I kept the tubes in that part too), hook up the accessories and you’re ready to go in no time. There’s a small pocket where I kept a stash of extra membranes, enough space in the top of the bookbag – even with the cooler and one set of accessories – for snacks, and an outer pocket you can tuck a book or folders into. It really was a great little portable pumping station, which was esp important to me, since I didn’t have my own dedicated space where I could leave things.
NewMomAnon says
I have one that isn’t on your list, and I wish I had gotten the Medela – you can buy Medela replacement parts so easily (even Target carries them!) and Medela has all sorts of accessories that fit the storage bottles (freezer bag, ice packs, etc). I’ve heard from a few friends who didn’t like the Ameda (not enough suction, broke down quickly), and I haven’t heard of the Melodi.
ELL says
I also have the Medela Pump In Style and like it. And the Target replacement parts came in handy when I realized last minute that I needed different flanges.
(former) preg 3L says
Medela!!!!!!!! Everything about it is easy and good. I have the pump in style (messenger bag variety). It was free, SO easy to use, and still going strong after 7 months!
KJ says
Everyone I know uses the Medela Pump in Style and loves it. You are lucky your insurance will cover one!
Katarina says
I have the Ameda Purely Yours, and like it fine. The parts are harder to fine, I ordered them online. I do like that it is a closed system, and milk cannot get into the tubes. I did use the maximum suction. I know the Medela is more popular, and I have never used it, so I can’t compare. I have never heard of the Melodi. Both the Medela and Ameda pumps take the same sized bottle, a standard sized bottle.
mss says
Plus one for the Ameda. I wanted it for the closed system (although it’s relatively easily to order new tubes for the Medela, so I wouldn’t let that stop you) and I liked the battery option. Mine lasted almost two years, and then I bought a new one for DD (#3) since I already had all the parts.
In House Lobbyist says
I love the Medela pumps. I have the Pump in Style that was a gift from my sister and I bought the Freestyle for the 2nd pregnancy for pumping while traveling. The Freestyle is super light weight and has a great battery. My other sister had the Ameda but she said the Medela I loaned her was much better. Also my insurance offered the Hygeia which I thought sounded great for several reasons but it did not compare to the a Medela at all. I think there’s a reason that Medela has the market cornered – and their customer service was always helpful and sent me a new pump when my battery cover started coming off my Freestyle. Plus Medela parts and accessories are easy to order off Amazon or find locally.
Anon says
Can you expand a bit on why you are reluctant to BF? That may help readers provide more specific feedback (e.g. abuse survivor, pumps seem scary etc) Have you thought about trying it while in hospital and seeing if it works for you? You can always stop if it isn’t working or you don’t find it to be a good experience.
Just like the rest of pregnancy, everyone has a different experience – something that’s easy for one person is hard for another — everything from conception to morning sickness to delivery to nursing to colic to potty training. You don’t really know how nursing will go in advance. I had a rough delivery and nursing was a breeze in comparison.
Anon says
Deleted – posted in wrong place.
Famouscait says
It’s hard for me to articulate why I’m reluctant to BF. The idea of doing it makes me feel squeamish. In the class last night, I could barely bring myself to hold the baby doll in the different feeding positions. I was almost in tears, and I truly don’t really know why.
I’m worried about being overwhelmed immediately after birth – both emotionally and physically. As in, I just did this tremendous and painful thing with my body, and now I have to whip out the girls to BF while docs are still poking around in my nether regions and there’s a lactation consultant manhandling my br**sts, and I’m just trying to process that this tiny human is my new son. I want to be able to take a breath, compose myself, be “present” in the moment (whatever that means…) before starting this next, new hard thing (BF’ing).
I’ve never suffered abuse and it’s not a s*xual issue for me (as in, I’m not worried about DH no longer seeing the girls as “fun”). It’s more that I feel like a tool, in some ways. I’ve struggled with some of the same issues with pregnancy in general – i.e. sharing my body with another being, etc. but as someone here many moons ago wisely pointed out, you don’t go from not pregnant to 9 months pregnant over night – there’s time to adjust to the idea and the process. I don’t feel that way about BF’ing. It’s like “Do it now, or forever hold your milk!” (my lame attempt at humor).
Anon says
I think maybe try to separate the delivery and BFing issue — it sounds like you have an unpleasant vision of the birth and the period immediately following.
It’s so hard to know how these things will go with delivery – you could have a relatively easy delivery and enjoying snuggling with a baby who just wants to sleep on your chest or you could end up with general/anesthetic/emergency c-section and not meet your baby for several hours.
And it’s also hard to know how things will go with nursing – you could have trouble with latch or supply or you could be like myself and poster CHJ above for whom nursing was surprisingly easy. I actually think I ended up nursing as long as I did because I was too d*mn lazy to get up in the middle of the night and drag my a** to the kitchen to make a bottle when I could just stay lying down and nurse the baby.
mss says
This. Also too d*mn lazy to bring bottles when I go out. Why bother when I have all the milk they want, right under my shirt.
Also wanted to add, whichever way you go, make sure DH (or whoever your support person is) sticks up for you. Our nurses were very reluctant to let us try bottles in the hospital with my second and third (when it was abundantly clear to us that the poor things were starving).
bf says
I don’t know how things are at your hospital, but you may get a chance to take a breath and compose yourself before breastfeeding. My hospital followed a “skin-to-skin” program of letting me and baby bond with her on my stomach/chest immediately following birth. We did that for 30-40 minutes, then baby was bathed, and then I first tried to bf. So I had close to an hour before trying to bf, and I think that is the general approach of those who follow the skin to skin method.
Famouscait says
Interesting! The way the LC framed the skin-to-skin contact last night was as to facilitate *immediate* BF’ing. Even to the point that the docs would ask her to get the mother BF’ing as they were stitching up, etc. to help stop any bleeding. What you described sounds totally do-able to me; the other way – not so much.
CHJ says
Yikes, that sounds awful! I would also be freaked out if a LC said that to me. My personal experience was a lot more like the previous poster. After delivery (I had a C-section), I got to relax with the baby and DH in a nice private recovery room for several hours. There was a nurse with us in case we needed her, but she mostly just kept to herself and let us have some privacy. And we did skin-to-skin in the recovery room, too, and one of my favorite memories of the day was how warm and cuddly our son felt snuggled up against me. It was great.
And while we’re sort of on the topic, I also had a strict No Visitors rule until I felt ready. Our son was born in the morning and I was up for company by the afternoon, but it was so nice knowing that I had that buffer and didn’t have to have visitors until I wanted them.
Anon says
This is pretty different from the hospital where I delivered and you had to ask to see the LC. Given that the session you went to was given by the LC(s) from your hospital and you might have to deal with this LC again — I would think about adding something to the birth plan along the lines of “Please do not ask Mom to nurse immediately after delivery. Mom would like to enjoy skin to skin contact and have medical issues addressed prior to attempting to br*astfeed. Mom will ask for assistance if she wishes to attempt to nurse during skin to skin time. Please support Mom’s desire to breastfeed by respecting her wishes and helping to ensure a positive start to nursing.”
– hopefully that last line will guilt them into listening to you — also train your DH to politely but firmly say that you are not interested in attempting nursing until you are finished with medical issues/back in your room.
KJ says
I did skin-to-skin in the recovery room after my c-section, and put baby to breast, but it was more like just giving her the opportunity to latch if she wanted to than some big pressure to feed her immediately. (By the way, she just went to sleep and that was that.) It took me a few days for my milk to come in and the LC’s had me giving her formula in a syringe while she was at the breast for a while. It was really frustrating at first, but once she got the hang of it, it was fine. I, too, was ambivalent about bfing at all, but I found that I like being able to that for my daughter. I even like pumping, even though it’s super annoying, because it makes me feel connected to my baby when I’m away at work. I thought bfing would be completely weird, but it was nothing compared to labor and delivery and just felt completely natural. I say give it a chance – you can always stop if you don’t like it.
Katarina says
I tried to breastfeed in the delivery room, but not right away. I had an easy delivery, and felt very present afterwards, that first day was surreal. I had an epidural and was not in a lot of pain. Immediate breastfeeding was not successful, but I just kept trying every few hours. About 24 hours after birth my son latched on successfully for more than a few swallows for the first time, but he was not a good eater until my milk came in, after we went home. He did not really eat anything for the first 24 hours, but he did not loose too much weight, and he was not jaundiced, so we did not supplement.
I am sorry you have had to deal with such an awful LC. I saw a very helpful LC in the hospital, but only because I requested one, and it was about 24 hours after the birth. Whatever you decide, maybe put your husband in charge of kicking out anyone who is too pushy.
Carrie M says
This is an interesting discussion. Famouscait, I’m sorry you had such a bad experience at the class. I second the recommendation above to reach out to a different LC. I saw a great one in the DC area if you’re in this area. Her top “rules”: feed the baby (which could mean breastmilk, formula, expressed milk, etc.) and protect your supply.
On skin-to-skin: I had a long, hard labor but it was amazing to do skin-to-skin – it was like my prize at the end! – and there was no pressure to BF immediately. We just cuddled. The skin-to-skin will help your milk come in, but it won’t be there immediately anyway. After a while (maybe an hour? and it was definitely after I was stitched up), I hand expressed some colostrum (like 2 drops) and gave that to my baby. They don’t eat much the first day at all, so don’t be too concerned about being overwhelmed/tired and trying to feed a massive amount.
I was probably slightly negative toward BF before I got pregnant. Mostly because I was not breastfed and I turned out just fine, thank you very much. But the more I read and thought about it, I decided to give it a try. The biggest factor for me was the antibodies. If you’re giving birth soon, those antibodies would be especially great to pass on during cold/flu season!
BF is hard work. But it doesn’t have to be an all or nothing proposition. We’ve supplemented with formula from early on because I’ve had low supply and we’ve had latch issues. As others have said, your baby will get the benefits of breastmilk no matter how much s/he is drinking. More probably is better, but we do the best we can.
I don’t know that you need a plan. I think if you want to go in with an open mind and see how it goes, that would be fine. The only thing is if you don’t protect your milk supply, you may struggle to build it back up. So if you decide to try BF, but it’s not going that great, you could add in some pumping sessions as a supply builder/protector. A good LC can help you formulate a doable approach.
My BF “journey” is definitely not how I envisioned it – engorgement, soreness, breast refusal, supplementing, lots of ups and downs. But I’m still happy I tried it. In the end, you have to do what’s best for you and your family, and that could mean 100% formula or exclusive breastfeeding or a combination. It’s awesome that your husband is so supportive. Do whatever feels right for you. But maybe talk to another LC or some other moms in your area re their experience at your hospital so that you have a fuller picture? It makes me angry to think that the horrible instructors of your class could turn you off from BF.
Good luck!!
Spirograph says
Chiming in to say that this (snuggling first, BF later) is how it was for me, too. My “birth plan” (ha!) called for the baby to be handed over to me immediately and the med staff to leave us alone to bond for a while. It didn’t go exactly as planned, but the general idea was there.
If you feel like you would be more comfortable with some downtime immediately after birth, that’s exactly the type of preference you can include in a birth plan… or at least talk about it with your husband so that he can advocate for you. You may change your mind! circumstances may make it a moot point! But in my experience, although the L&D nurses were efficient first and helpful second, they were good people who understood that birth an insanely intense, stressful experience, and they were respectful of my wishes to the greatest extent practical. Hopefully the LC in your class was not representative of the actual culture of the hospital.
hoola hoopa says
I agree with Anon’s line for the birth plan. That’s exactly the kind of thing that’s helpful to have in a birth plan. I also agree with the suggestion above to get a recommendation for a more low-key LC. They do exist and are wonderful. I think even a brief chat with them or your care provider could help calm your mind.
I can completely picture this whole class. Some LCs and BF advocates go overboard and sell BF as the solution to everything. I always knew I’d breastfeed, did so for many years in total, and experienced a lot of positivity from it. But I can’t help but roll my eyes when people start saying seriously that a baby should nurse *immediately* (which honestly makes no sense because the baby’s usually not interested right after birth either!) and that it will alleviate *all* pain and exhaustion from labor (ha!). Cuddle your baby in the labor room, but don’t worry about nursing until you reach the recovery room and have both relaxed a bit. Then see where things go.
mascot says
Don’t worry that you will have to produce a 6 oz feeding within 12 minutes of giving birth. Skin to skin contact is great for newborns (even when dad does it) and it has lots of benefits besides helping mom start milk production. It’s good for bonding, it helps baby learn to regulate body temperature, etc. It’s recommended for the first few weeks, not just right after delivery and not just for BF moms. Also, the LC didn’t explain that very well. Yes, the nursing helps the uterus to contract back to a normal size faster than not nursing at all. You’ll probably feel some cramping when nursing, but its not like you are bleeding out on a table and the only way you can stop is to feed the child right then and there. My little guy had to spend some time in a transitional nursery so I didn’t really see him for a while. It was several hours before I had my first attempt at feeding him. The nurses have seen a lot of new moms and babies trying to figure this out and there are more of them than consultants, so chances are you’l get a couple of people that can offer advice besides an LC who may not mesh with your style. Perhaps you can ask friends and family to hold off from visiting for a bit in the hospital. That way you can have lots of quiet time to process and figure things out. The KellyMom website has a lot of good information too.
hoola hoopa says
+1 to advice from the recovery ward nurses. That’s who taught me to nurse when I had my first. I like to figure things out on my own, so it was perfect to have someone who could get me started and drop in for a question, but who wasn’t sitting by my side the entire time making me feel nervous and stressed. I did have an LC come by later (for a social visit, actually), and by then I was ready to ask specific questions.
Carrie M says
I was actually kind of frustrated by all the different opinions I got from different nurses. One told me to try a nipple shield because my nipples weren’t erect enough; another told me my anatomy was fine; everyone offered their own anecdotes and two cents. So that’s not to say you shouldn’t ask for help, but just be prepared that you may get conflicting advice.
JJ says
Agree to the advice on the nurses, as well. They were far more helpful than the LCs in my hospital. And while they were pro-BFing (in that they wanted to help me succeed), they were more pragmatic and realized that the baby needs to eat, regardless of where the formula/milk comes from. The LCs also made me nervous (I felt like I needed to “perform!” with them in the room), but the nurses were far more chill and willing to answer questions.
To echo what everyone said, I had a c-section and after the surgery was done, they brought the baby to me in my private recovery room. We just snuggled, skin to skin, for a while (45 minutes, maybe?) and tried to put baby to breast. He was pretty tired, so after a few attempts, we didn’t bother anymore and just let him sleep. That skin to skin snuggle is the best feeling in the world, so just lay back and enjoy it however you want to.