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A few weeks ago, we went to a friend’s house for an outdoor playdate. When the kids got tired of running around the yard, she wheeled out this fun food cart from Melissa & Doug.
I love Melissa & Doug’s toys, and this one exceeded expectations — it comes with more than 40 food play pieces, a reversible awning, and a bell. It was perfect for both the older kids who played ice cream/hot dog vendor, and the younger ones who just wanted to stick the velcro ice cream sandwiches together. After months of a lot of screen time, it was reassuring to see that our kids still had imaginations.
The food cart is available at Amazon and Target for $152.99.
Sales of note for 4.18.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 50% off full-price dresses, jackets & shoes; $30 off pants & skirts; extra 50% off sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything; extra 20% off purchase
- Eloquii – 50% off select styles; 60% off swim; up to 40% off everything else
- J.Crew – Mid-Season Sale: Extra 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off spring-to-summer styles
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Spring Mid-Season Sale: Up to 50% off 100s of styles
- Nordstrom: Free 2-day shipping for a limited time (eligible items)
- Talbots – Spring Sale: 40% off + extra 15% off all markdowns; 30% off new T by Talbots
- Zappos – 29,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Up to 70% off baby items; 50% off toddler & kid deals & 40% off everything else
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off spring faves; 25% off new arrivals; up to 30% off spring
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Up to 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off kids’ spring-to-summer styles
- Old Navy – 30% off your purchase; up to 75% off clearance
- Target – Car Seat Trade-In Event (ends 4/27); BOGO 25% off select skincare products; up to 40% off indoor furniture; up to 20% off laptops & printers
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
Anonymous says
Does anyone have any experience or advice on Disney cruises they could share? We’re thinking of booking for 2022, but I’m a bit of a novice to both Disney and cruises, and the Disney part especially seems complicated. I thought it would be a nice way for my parents to enjoy seeing our kids experience some Disney magic without the tiring theme park experience. But is staying in a tiny cruise stateroom with two kids terrible? Will we have any chance of relaxing? One will still be napping, probably. They will be 3 and 5. Appreciate any thoughts!
anon says
We went on a non-Disney cruise with a 3 and 5 yo and had a great time. It was much, much better than doing Disney with kids those ages.
We really appreciated that on the ship you’re always close enough to the room that you don’t need to haul the normal kid stuff. You can just go back to the room if someone is cold / tired / shoes are rubbing.
There’s always food so you can just feed the kids whenever. So nice not needing to think about snacks.
The kids club was a hit, so we’d feed our kids an early dinner and take them to the kids club. Then we could have a bunch of adult time all to ourselves with a leisurely dinner and/or show.
We got a balcony stateroom so a parent could hang out with a view during nap jail. We also got an expanded stateroom with a curtain that let us divide the room so we could keep one bed dark while others were getting ready. I’m not sure what Disney offers, but it was nice to have.
We were on our way back to the room one evening and passed a karaoke bar. My 3 yo was intrigued so we watched for a couple of minutes. Then she demanded to get on stage. The room was happy to let her try, so she stood on stage, took the mic, and belted out Let it Go with all the expression and zeal a 3 yo can harness to a room full of adults. Still one of our funniest family moments ever.
Anon says
Not OP but thanks for this. We were considering a Norwegian fjord cruise pre-Covid and are hoping to go in 2022 with our then 4 year old. Disney doesn’t seem worth it because she doesn’t know the characters at all (if Daniel Tiger had a cruise line it would be a different story…) and DH and I don’t like Disney. What cruise line did you use?
The karaoke story is sooo cute!
anon says
We were on Royal Caribbean. Highlights for the kids were the kids club, free soft serve ice cream, the all-you-can-ride merry-go-round, and the on deck water park.
The best part about the trip was that it required so little planning. It was very easy.
Anon says
Yeah DH and I did an Alaska cruise pre-kid and it’s definitely a very low stress vacation. I wouldn’t want cruises to be my only form of travel but once in a while it really hits the spot for me. And I think after the pandemic we could use something super relaxing.
avocado says
We did a Disney cruise with extended family a couple of years ago and were surprised by how much we enjoyed it. I have always been anti-cruise because they just seemed icky, and my husband is anti-Disney. Now we are considering another Disney cruise in a year or two.
The staterooms are very well designed and more functional for a family than a typical hotel room. There is a surprising amount of storage space, and the shower and toilet are in separate compartments with their own sinks so two people can brush their teeth at the same time. There is a blackout/privacy curtain between the parents’ bed and the kids’ sleeping area, which would be perfect for naps. Everything is immaculately clean, and the service is incredible. We were pleasantly surprised at the decent quality of the food and entertainment. The private island is fantastic, and the on-board water slide is fun for kids of all ages. The characters and Disney branding were certainly present, but they were less prominent than at the parks.
What I appreciated most was that everything was easy, totally unlike a trip to Disney World where you have to preplan everything and make all sorts of reservations. The island cabanas were the only thing that needed to be prebooked, and those were too spendy for us anyway. I also liked that almost everything was paid for in advance. Even though we budget and plan in advance, my husband inevitably gets overwhelmed by the amount of money flying out of his pockets during a vacation and ends up wanting to sit in the hotel room and eat exclusively at Panera. Unlike most of our past trips, this one left me feeling like we’d truly had a vacation.
The disappointing parts were the total lameness of the tween club (but the kids’ club looks amazing, and my daughter didn’t really have time to visit the tween club anyway), the tiny swimming pools, how early you have to disembark on the final day, and how crowded and noisy the dining rooms were. Also, a warning: a friend took her young daughters on a Disney cruise and all they wanted to do was to watch the unlimited movies on the tiny TV in the stateroom.
Bean74 says
We took a Disney Cruise in February 2020, right before everything flip turned upside down. It was a big family trip with my parents, siblings, and their kids and it was one of the best vacations ever.
If you can, spring for the bigger stateroom with a balcony. Ours had a curtain that separated the bed from the couch/pull out bed so nap jail wasn’t too bad.
The kids club is amazing and included in the price of the cruise. My four-year-old, who was three at the time, still talks about learning to be a Jedi and playing in Andy’s room.
The cruise itself had plenty of adult activities. My husband and my brothers did a whiskey tasting one night. There were pub trivia opportunities. There’s an adult pool that was nice and the main pool showed movies throughout the day. They also show Disney movies in the big theater. The waterslide is a blast, and the littles had a great time in the splash pad area which was completely covered.
Pirate Night was incredibly fun. I wasn’t super excited about it at first but it was one of the best experiences we all had. My sister had brought pirate costumes for all the kids and they had such a blast running around the ship like pirates. The pirate show was super fun, too. And people get really into this theme so it was truly fun.
We stayed on the ship when it docked in Nassau – it seemed like too much of a headache to get off and to get back for nap. We enjoyed having less people on the ship that day. Disney’s private island, Castaway Cay, was great. No need to tender – you can walk right off the ship and walk to all of the activities. My sister and I ran the 5k on it which was really fun.
Plenty of opportunity to see characters. The kids adored that.
My dad loathes Disney, has worked in the cruise industry so has been on almost every cruise line out there, and said this was by far the best experience. He absolutely loved it.
This year we put together a video for my mom for Mother’s Day where we asked each kid, “What’s your favorite thing to do with Grammy?” Almost all of them said, “Go on a Disney cruise with her!”
TLDR: If you can swing it and are comfortable with it, do it. You won’t regret it.
SC says
I’ve been on 2 Disney cruises with my parents, husband, and son. Kiddo turned 4 during the first cruise, and was almost 5 on the second. The state rooms are not large but are well laid out. The tub/shower is separated from the toilet, and there’s a sink in each part of the bathroom. The kids are in bunk beds, which get set back up into a living room space during the day. My parents had an adjoining room, which gave us a little flexibility with the space. It also meant that DH and I could go out at night and leave Kiddo sleeping in our room, with the adjoining door open, while my parents slept in their room. (My parents are early risers and early to bed, and Kiddo just slept a lot at that age.)
I found plenty of time to relax. Just not having to be responsible for the daily grind is nice. On the first cruise, I had a nasty cold (before I boarded), and I spent a lot of time reading. On the second cruise, I wasn’t in the mood to sit around. One morning, I went to yoga, had a latte, saw Frozen 2 by myself (as in, the only person in the whole theater), and went to a cooking demo, all before DH and Kiddo woke up at 11. I went to the pool with DH and Kiddo in the afternoons. I went to trivia with my mom before dinner.
Disney does have a kids’ room as well. I believe 3 year olds go in an infant/toddler room for extra money. The 5 year old will be just old enough to go in the kids’ room, but it might be a bit overwhelming for him, depending on his personality.
AwayEmily says
We’re going camping in two weeks!! First time, kids are 3 and 5. I know many of you are camping experts…any advice? Currently we have sleeping bags and a tent but that’s about it. Two nights, state park, car camping.
Anonymous says
Really think through meals. Consider strongly sleeping pads. The ground is hard.
Anonymous says
Strongly consider is not a strong enough recommendation. You need foamies / blow up mattress / something.
AnonATL says
If you don’t want to buy a bunch of cots or sleeping pads, you can use a yoga mat in a pinch. Depends on if you plan to make camping a thing that you do regularly, then it’s worth the investment.
Mary Moo Cow says
Definitely bring flashlights or lanterns for after dark bathroom trips. Precooked frozen biscuits in tinfoil heat up well over a campfire for breakfast, and if you are a coffee drinker, a French press or pour over using water boiled over the fire. Even in warmer weather it gets chilly at night, so bring an extra layer than you think you need; DH usually sleeps with a fleece hat on when camping in May. Check out what amenities the park has, like canoes for rent or guided birding walks. Have fun!
anonymommy says
There is a wide range of campgrounds and how rustic they are. I’d get all the info you can on the can ahead of time — bathroom situation, parking, water, can you buy camp wood there? If it’s a state campground, most have a community bathroom and water spigot in walking distance to your site, so you’ll want some kind of large water jug for drinking/washing hands/washing dishes. If you park right at your site, it’s much easier. Here’s some things to consider:
-dishes, soap, bin for washing
-jug for water
-towels for beach, dishes, to put at entrance of tent
-bug spray, sunblock, etc.
-folding chairs
-ear plugs in case of rowdy neighbors
-rope for a clothes line
-EXTRA bathing suits/towels if you’re in a place where things don’t dry quickly!
-so many wipes.
-extra garbage bags, toilet paper
-bonfire gear – matches, some paper to start it, etc.
-good shoes for walks around campground.
-flashlight, or even better – headlamps. Much easier with kids/no hands
-warm stuff for night
-rain gear
-some music is fun, whether guitar, portable speaker, etc but not necessary, just a personal fav
-if you’re cooking: stove top, fuel, pan, spatula
Take my mother’s advice and dress your kids in clothes you won’t care about. No white shoes or favorite clothes — for you or kids. Too much gear stinks so don’t worry about every gadget under the sun. The biggie is that most people underestimate how cold it gets at night and forget about the possibility of rain. The only bad weather is bad clothes!
GCA says
We love camping! Here are my best tips (assuming car camping and state park campgrounds with nearby bathroom facilities).
Sleep:
– Inflatable sleeping pads or at least the fold-out foam kind are key! They keep your sleeping bag away from the cold ground and condensation on cold mornings.
– Tents marked ‘4-person’ can be a tight squeeze for two adults and two wriggly kids (I have a 6yo and a 2.5yo). Someone’s feet will end up in your face. We’re seriously contemplating getting a lighter weight 2-person tent so one adult and one kid can sleep in there and it’s easy to bring along on future 1 parent-1 kid backpacking trips.
– Depending on where you are it can start to get light pretty early – my kids will wake up before 6 these days. Ouch. Expect shenanigans.
Clothing:
– Plan for puddles and mud and sand and general mess.
– Northern US summer? Assume it’ll be cold at night even if it’s in the 60s or 70s in the daytime. We were camping last weekend and the temp was down to mid-40s at night. We layered up with sweatshirts and lightweight puffer jackets for the kids.
Food
– Our cooking setup is pretty bare-bones (one MSR dragonfly stove, one set of pots and mess tins) but I’ve seen people car-camping with full camp stove/ grill type things.
– Note the location of the grocery store nearest your campground. Last weekend I packed bread, jam, knives and no peanut butter. Oops.
– If you have enough time and energy, you can do a bit of meal prep to make dinner easier: think pre-soaking beans in a Nalgene all day then cooking them at night, or prepping roasted potatoes and sauteed veggies for breakfast burritos. (If you don’t have enough time and energy – and I don’t – ramen, hot dogs and mixed frozen veggies are a perfectly good camping meal!)
– Don’t forget plates, cups, utensils and a can opener! If you’re short on dishware, in a pinch you can dish out pasta in a mug, then rinse out the mug and use it for hot chocolate.
– Everyone loves s’mores, even though my children are philistines who will roast a marshmallow to perfection *and then eat only the inside*…
Gear and entertainment:
– Check the campsite amenities and pack accordingly. Paved road through the campsite? Bring your bikes/ scooters. Swim gear if there’s a swimming pond. And a good camper always knows where her towel is. Also, I feel like our camping trips are made easier by pieces of cloth: a tablecloth, a few napkins, a picnic blanket, and a couple of hand towels so kids can dry off after washing their hands/ brushing their teeth.
– If the forecast looks like rain, we bring a couple of card or board games and a lot of books…just in case we’re stuck in the tent for a bit.
– It’s getting dark later and later and in fact it was still light out when we herded the kids off to bed, but headlamps or flashlights are useful for middle-of-the-night bathroom trips.
avocado says
Insulated sleeping pads are key. A standard air mattress or the ground will be cold, even in summer.
Are you planning to cook all your own food? For a two-night trip we often do what I call “lazy camping.” We don’t bring the big camp stove and camp kitchen setup, just a backpacking stove that can boil water. First night’s dinner is hot dogs roasted over the fire with fruit and chips on the side. Breakfasts are coffee, instant oatmeal, fruit. Lunches are cheese and crackers or peanut butter sandwiches. Second night’s dinner is at the campground lodge or snack bar. S’mores for dessert.
Bring flip-flops and quarters for the showers, DEET bug spray, and a big jug to keep water at the campsite. Find out ahead of time whether you are supposed to bring your own firewood or buy it in the park (required at all state and national parks in our area). Bring a long-handled lighter and newspaper or wax/sawdust firestarting sticks. Also have a bucket or large pitcher to extinguish the fire. Girl Scout pro tip: to avoid a big mess, sprinkle the water over the coals until they are all extinguished instead of just pouring the water on. Those long-handled toasting forks are great for hot dogs and marshmallows.
Bring a small dustpan and hand broom to sweep out the tent before you break it down. I also like to bring some old towels to set shoes on inside the tent and a laundry bag for dirty clothes.
Look for “scavenger hike” books or printables on line. There are generic ones as well as some written for specific parks and trails.
If your campsite is grassy, do not wear sandals except in the shower. So many ticks.
If you are camping in bear country, learn about recommended food storage ahead of time. I grew up camping on the west coast, where you have to lock your food, toiletries, and any clothes that have been worn for cooking or eating in a bear box unless you want a bear to break into your car. Now we live and camp on the east coast and I laugh every time the ranger hands us the flyer that says “Practice safe food storage! Lock your food in your car!” Bears or no, do not leave food or toiletries in your tent. A squirrel will chew through your tent and your Tupperware to get at those cookies.
Pogo says
Raccoons can do and do open coolers to get to food.
Anonymous says
Echoing everyone, get the best, thickest, most comfortable sleeping pads you can stand to pay for. If you sleep better, everything will be better.
anon says
If you get headlight style flashlights, get them your kids too. They are super fun. Also, post-camping, add a cup of vinegar (where fabric softener goes) to your laundry to get the smell out. If lovies are precious, consider not bringing because they often get smoky IME and also need to be washed.
anon says
Camp chairs for all are really nice. We also like to have a hammock to string between two trees for relaxing.
We bring a vinyl table cloth for the picnic table. Sometimes they are grosser than others.
Shoes that are easy to slip on for middle of the night bathroom runs with the kids are good.
A deck of cards for Uno or Go Fish is nice.
Blueberries says
If you’re in California, wood fires should be prohibited just about everywhere now, so plan to bring a camp stove. Also, if in California, find out the park’s recommendation for evacuation/shelter if a wildfire breaks out nearby.
Also if in California: it gets really, really cold at night. Bring a hat and warm layers for everyone.
With kids those ages, I would try to limit cooking and washing up as much as possible so you can enjoy being together/manage everything without getting frazzled. Is the timing such that you can have dinner ready to go for the first night so you don’t have to set up camp and cook on the same night? If you have good thermoses, you could probably bring hot water for morning coffee and heat up water during dinner #2 for coffee for morning #2. I like bringing a garbage bag for the last day of breakfast dishes to throw in the dishwasher when I get home.
I love having two pairs of shoes for everyone: lace-up shoes for hiking/walks and slip-on shoes for walking around camp.
AwayEmily says
oh my goodness, thank you all so much! I just made a long list and am now texting friends to borrow many of the things on it (we’re not confident yet that camping will be a regular thing so I’m reluctant to make any big purchase decisions). And so much I never would have thought about (two pairs of shoes! bin for washing dishes! you people are geniuses!).
Anonymous says
LATE REPLY – i am sure that you can find lists online and it sounds like that is helpful – it does take a bit to get organized.
Some things that might not be on the list or i have forgotten:
– the camp chairs (ha… left them in the garage o)
– clothes pegs (for drying dishtowels etc).
– extra batteries
– make sure you pants cover your ankles (mosquitos at campfire)…. actually rubber boots make great camp shoes and easy to clean when you get home.
– bring your own TP (in case)
– SO many bags – just bring a bunch of garbage bags / ziplocks etc.
– Tinfoil (can warm stuff on grate on fire etc.)
– extra rags / towels.
if you borrow stuff, assemble it before you go. Your well meaning friend might not ACTUALLY have included the piece that connects the fuel to the stove (my dad left this at home once).
when i pack i put all the “kitchen stuff” in one big plastic bin and the misc stuff in another (stuff for in the tent / ropes / etc.) Having all your kitchen stuff in one bin makes it easy to get in and out of the car. Put all food related stuff back in the car at night.
FFS says
Well, I’m very likely going to stay home with my younger children when my oldest goes off to kindergarten this fall. They’ll be in a part-time preschool, but is it weird that my biggest concern is what I’m supposed to feed them for lunch every day? Daycare has spoiled me.
Clementine says
Sounds like an adventure. I keep thinking how much I want to stay home for a few years…
We got into a rotation of simple things: toddler ploughman’s lunch (bread + cheese + apple + pickle), ‘grab bag’ (muffin + yogurt + veggie + fruit), sandwiches, quesadillas, grilled cheese, egg sandwiches, leftover pasta – all of these have been favorites at various points.
Oh! and our Holy Grail favorite: waffles.
Anonymous says
Yeah it’s super weird. Are you focusing your anxiety about the big issues with this plan on something completely minor?
FFS says
I get that, but not really. The only other thing I’m anxious about is having them all.the.time. Which is a biggie to be sure, but I’ve got plans and am great with schedules (unlikely the nanny below). When daycare was closed last spring for a couple months, feeding them was my least favorite part. I just need to get a good rotation going. On the weekends it’s usually one of a few different types of sandwiches and that might get tedious every day.
Anonymous says
FWIW, I think parents are way more into variety than kids. They will probably be delighted if you feed them the same lunch every day if it is something they like.
Anonymous says
Yes, until they suddenly decide they are sick of that lunch and will never eat it again.
Mary Moo Cow says
That was one of my top concerns! Especially starting in a pandemic with no cafeteria option! Unsolicited advice: buy more than one type of lunchbox and involve your kid in the decision making process. I shelled out for a planet box and all the adorable magnets and she didn’t like it after a few weeks because it didn’t keep cold foods cold and hot foods hot. So I ended up with a random sequin lunchbox from target that she adores, and extra rubbermaid lunchbox and thermoses. We also have a rotation of 5 lunches, which I thought would be totally boring, but really saves time in the morning and drama over not eating half of what I packed.
Anon says
Can you share this rotation? I like to rotate. Ours are turkey sandwich, pb&j with sliced banana, cheese quesadilla, leftover pasta or pizza if we had it the night before.
Mary Moo Cow says
Sure! Pizza Monday; super pretzel Tuesday; leftovers (usually fajitas or rotisserie chicken tossed with pesto) Wednesday; mini pumpkin muffins and yogurt Thursday; and smoothie Friday. Sides include fresh or dried fruit (sour raisins if I’m lazy; cut up pear, apple, watermelon, clementine, berries), sliced bell pepper 3 days a week and carrot sticks and hummus other 2; and a small cup of pirates booty, pretzels, multigrain tortilla chips, or goldfish. Juice box 2 days a week and a small piece of candy on no-juice days.
My kid decided this year she doesn’t like milk boxes or wow butter, marshmallow fluff, or sticky jelly, so sandwiches are out. She’s never liked melted cheese so her pizza is cheese less, and she doesn’t like lunch meat. So the rotation was born!
anne-on says
We do this for camp to – we supply lunch 4 days and Friday is a cookout. We have the following options and have kiddo choose 4 before I do the grocery shopping for the week. We find having 6 options is our sweet spot and always require a fruit or applesauce packet and cut up veggies : 1)breakfast for lunch (usually waffles or pancakes, turkey bacon, fruit, and a little ramekin of syrup), 2)cold cut roll ups with fruit/veggies and chips as snacks, 3)tacos (soft tortilla, small container of shredded chicken, toppings on the side to avoid sogginess, 4)blt, 5)pulled pork sandwich, 6)sunbutter and jelly sandwich.
DLC says
Lunch takes up so much of mental space too!
I usually offer leftovers, and if that is rejected they can choose grilled cheese, or a quesadilla. Fruit and cut up carrots or cucumbers with hummus always.
On Fridays we will have “special” lunch which is usually tortellini (the bagged stuff you get at Costco) or dumplings.
I usually eat leftovers.
TheElms says
Maybe buying something like Real.Easy.Weekdays from Kids Eat in Color would be a good idea for you? It would give you a plan for all the lunches /snacks (you could choose to follow/not follow the rest of the meal plan as well).
Realist says
I always serve a vegetable, a fruit, and a protein. Often, I prep enough for 3-4 meals so usually I am pulling at least 1 item out of the fridge ready to serve. Proteins include nuts, nut butters, beans, and meats (lunch meats, leftovers, canned tuna, etc).
Vegetables are things like cut up raw veggies (carrots, cucumbers, bell pepper), leftovers, steamed greens, or frozen veggies tossed with olive oil and salt and roasted in the oven 30-ish minutes, or frozen veggies steamed with butter on the stovetop. Favorite frozen veggies include broccoli florets, artichoke hearts, okra, green beans, corn, peas and sweet potato fries. I usually have crackers on hand, including large wafers that I smear with butter when kiddo seems to be ravenous and has already eaten all the other food.
Eggs and oatmeal make occasional appearances, as do things like french fries and guacamole with chips.
With fruit, I always have our usual favorites like apples and bananas and then mix in whatever is in season and looks good (mangoes, berries, kiwis, grapes, cherries, clementines). So it is a mix of new stuff with the same old stuff. I do the same with veggies to some extent but seem to rely more on tried and true favorites than seasonal items.
Anonymous says
I left my career to stay at home. It was a very good decision (DH has a big job, we needed a primary parent). But I agree lunch is still hard!!! We do pb&j, tuna (thankfully my kids eat it), and lots of homemade soups. My kids also like lunch meat so we do that once a week too. There’s definitely a 6 month learning curve like any new job but we have a lot of special moments and fun adventures. It’s really nice to go do stuff during the week when it’s not crowded. Pandemic stay at home parenting has been it’s own sort of beast, but obviously it’s been an awful year for working parents. My biggest advice is to be aggressively friendly and make mom friends! It gives you so much more to do and a support system.
Strategy Mom says
Summer nanny started and she is not a self starter/a bit lethargic. If I don’t step in, they will not leave the house all summer and her life will be miserable and she won’t know why. My kids NEED to be out of the house staying busy and need some structure!! Any advice on how to set her up for success? Hints aren’t working. Do I say “summer guidelines: playground every day and major outing (museum/zoo/library) 3 times a week?” Do I map out a daily schedule? Other advice? I don’t want to micromanage, but at this rate we’ll be looking for a new summer nanny and I would rather try to work with her.
Anonymous says
I think a daily schedule is fine. I would present it as ‘this is the daily schedule the kids used last summer and it worked well last year’.
I would do at least one ‘at home’ outside time each day and one ‘away’ outside time each day like 2-3 different playgrounds, library, pool/splash pad etc.
For at home outside time – provide a couple suggested activities each day .
Anonymous says
Susie, let’s talk about a plan for the kids. They need to be getting outside every day, preferably more than once. Mornings and afternoons to the park, bigger excursions a few times a week.
Anon says
-+1 just be direct.
Anonymous says
I was a summer nanny when I was in college and yes, it was very helpful to have the parents suggest activities/schedules. You don’t have to micromanage, but saying you’d like one outdoor activity every day, and major activities 3 times a week is great.
Anon says
I think it would help to map out those outings for her. It would honestly not occur to me to take kids to a museum or zoo 3x per week. Even the playground is a trip for us, we just play in our yard.
Anonymous says
Hints are not how you communicate with a nanny. Be direct.
“Please take the kids out of the house at least once a day. Here are a list of activities they like, let me know if you think of others, I am happy to pay admission fees/etc. They sometimes can be hard to get moving, but one trick that often works is make it a race to get ready/have a snack ready to go/etc.”
NYCer says
+1. Being direct about this will be better for everyone involved.
Also, are there any classes for kids in your area that you are comfortable with? That way they have a set place to go at a set time, so it “forces” them out of the house.
Anonymous says
Library storytime is also good for this.
Anon says
Yes and be clear about how these activities will be paid for (including does she need to pack lunches and snacks to bring or family will do that) and what methods of transport you are comfortable with (and what is the plan for car seats).
Realist says
When I was in elementary school, we had a weekly summer schedule with the nanny. Monday was pool day, Tuesday was a playdate with a neighbor, Wednesday was the zoo, Thursday was the playground, Friday was picnic at the park. etc. Make it easy for her to know what to do each day and tell her the schedule. Don’t hint around.
Anon says
I agree with the advice to be direct and tell her to do an outing three times a week and a playground every day, if that’s what you want, but this seems overly restrictive and micromanage-y to me, especially if you’re going to put it on her to find and coordinate the playdates.
Realist says
Eh. Depends on the nanny and the family. It might seem micro-manage-y but it is also simple, which works better for some people. You don’t have to decide when to go to the zoo, you just always go on Tuesdays, or whenever the schedule says. And a standing playdate with a neighbor or another nanny family can be easy to arrange each week and might be easier than trying to plan a varied schedule of playdates throughout the summer.
I personally find it easier to have schedules like this than a loose guideline of “go out of the house 3x per week.” But of course every family-nanny pair should just do what works best for them.
anne-on says
You need to be direct. We had au pairs for years so I’m not shy about it any longer but our handbook literally had a section on daily schedules, proposed snacks (like, are popsicles ok every day? once a week?), things to make sure to pack for an outing (towels, sunblock, bug spray, etc), how often to apply sunblock/bug spray, how to identify and remove ticks, ideas for lunches, maps to the major attractions in our town (all the major parks/libraries/beach/lake/etc.) and a list of the places we were members of. I think the guidance was something like ‘outside or physical activities at least twice a day’ and ‘big’ trips 1-2 times a week OR playdates (and often playdates were meeting up with other families at the local kids museum or beach). This is likely overkill for an experienced nanny but mine was geared towards 18-19yr olds with varying levels of English language skills
Anonanonanon says
Just tell her, for sure. This is why I’m so happy we don’t have a nanny anymore, I hate managing someone in my home. That said, it was always most successful to just say “Hey- I forgot to mention. The kids need to spend at least one hour a day outside. They like to walk to the playground, ride their scooters (with helmets!), or walk on the trails. Also, if you run out of ideas, they love to fill up and play in the plastic kiddie pool, I know that’s my go-to!”
You could also have a tub of bubbles, sidewalk chalk, water toys, etc. outside if you want.
Anonymous says
Just popping in to say that I made Smitten Kitchen’s Blue Sky bran muffins last night, and they’re a big hit! We used raspberries and blackberries for the fruit.
Mathy says
I have made these several times. So good, and I appreciate the flexibility in the fruit add-ins!
New Mask Mandate says
Are you expecting your vaccinated daycare teachers to continue to wear masks around your infants? This new guidance from the CDC is a bit confusing for parents of young children.
Anonymous says
I expect that our large corporate daycare center will continue to be quite conservative with their COVID policies for a while.
Anon says
Yes. If kids have to wear them, teachers should be modeling it. From a safety point I’m comfortable with unvaccinated adults maskless around my kid, but I’m also not sure how you verify vaccination status (I think in my state it’s illegal to ask for proof) and while I *hope* our teachers wouldn’t lie, I don’t want to take a chance on unvaccinated adults mask less around the kids. Once kids can get vaccinated I’m fine with everyone ditching the masks.
Daycare hasn’t indicated they’ll change anything before August, which makes sense to me. I hope masks continue past August, given that kids almost certainly won’t get vaccinated until later in the fall, but I’d be fine with bigger class sizes and less distancing since we know spread in school is rare.
Anon says
*comfortable with vaccinated adults maskless around my kid, I mean! Not unvaccinated.
AwayEmily says
I suspect my daycare (university-run) will keep having teachers wear masks for awhile. However, I would be fine with them lifting that requirement — all teachers were required to be vaccinated (and were). My kids (3 and 5) would love to see their teachers’ faces again. We’ve talked a lot with them about vaccines and they get that adults who have been vaccinated don’t have to wear masks all the time, but because they haven’t been vaccinated (yet!) they will have to keep wearing theirs for awhile to keep everyone safe.
Anon says
Jealous! My university can’t mandate it (state legislature says so) and apparently almost half the teachers and staff at our university daycare opted not to get it. There’s nothing we can do – any local place would be worse in terms of vaccine uptake – but it’s so frustrating.
Anon says
I would be fine if they allowed vaccinated teachers to stop wearing masks. About 40% of my teachers are still unvaccinated, and they can’t force them to get vaccinated until EUA is over and it’s fully approved. I would MUCH MUCH MUCH rather have an unmasked vaccinated teacher than a masked unvaccinated teacher.
Pogo says
Our board of health is still mandating pretty strict rules so I don’t expect anything to change any time soon. This will obviously be a state by state thing.
Mary Moo Cow says
I’m expecting they will until our governor says they don’t have to, but per the school, the vast majority of teachers and staff are fully vaccinated and I would be totally fine with the vaccinated teachers and staff unmasked.
Walnut says
Teachers are dropping their masks on Monday at mine. Kids were never required to be masked.
Anon says
All teachers? Or just the vaccinated ones?
Walnut says
All teachers at my center are fully vaccinated per admin communication.
Anon says
Oh wow, nice. Most of the time I don’t mind living in a red state but it’s really really frustrating right now. Barely 40% of adults in my state have gotten the vax.
Anonanonanon says
Ours is transitioning to allow vaccinated teachers to take their mask off outside. I assume that’s being used as an incentive for vaccination with summer approaching. Kids will continue to be masked, though they don’t really correct them if it has slipped down while they’re outside.
anon says
remind me how you deal with condescending mansplaining? got an email from a colleague (not boss) explaining something that i know UGH. men.
Cb says
Ugh, call it out if you can? But it sucks and I hate it. I have mansplain-y students (adult ed) this term and want to bang my head into my desk
Anonanonanon says
Sometimes I act like they were telling it to me to confirm knowledge. “Yes, that’s correct!” is my go-to.
Daycare behavior problems says
You guys, I’m at the end of my rope with my 2.5 year old. I’ve tried everything I can think of. Everything is a battle, so much screaming, and apparently now they’re having issues with him at daycare too. I’ve tried BLF, How to Talk so Little Kids Will Listen. Nothing is really helping. He’s only been at this center for a few weeks. Could it still be the transition? Does he hate it and I should pull him?
Daycare behavior problems says
(To be clear, he is the one screaming, not me. I scream silently to myself a lot though.)
Anonymous says
Has he been at another daycare before? Are the difficulties just re daycare? Is he part time or full time? part time usually means a longer adjustment period.
OP says
Yes, we lost our beloved daycare due to covid, so he’s been in a similar setting before but this is a new daycare. He is there full time. I don’t know if it’s the setting or the change or my parenting skills but, gah, it’s terrible and I feel like a failure.
OP says
Oh, and the difficulties are defending not just related to daycare. He’s just been really really difficult to deal with all the time.
Anonymous says
I don’t think that it is your parenting skills, i think it is being 2.5 years old. I don’t have advice. We were having a lot of screaming just before 2.5 (pre-covid), though not at daycare and he REALLY struggled with the transition back (just around 3). I think they are trying to assert control over their lives (when they have none). Was he home with you and loving it?
He actually was better when he was home during covid. Although obviously there were meltdowns. He is a pretty shy kid and did like that environment.
Unfortunately, my advice is give it a month.
OP says
Thank you! This is actually very helpful to hear.
Cb says
Oh solidarity, my nearly 4 year old is having the boundary testing stage he seemed to miss earlier. Is something at daycare off? Has your commute changed? Has his sleep schedule been interrupted? Could he have an ear infection or an allergy?
Anon says
2.5-3 was a horrible age for us. She really seemed to turn a corner around 3. I don’t know if she just grew out of it or we got better at parenting or what, but I promise this stage won’t last forever! I didn’t understand the phrase “terrible twos” at all for the first half of the year because was a complete delight but then boom she hit her half birthday and became a monster.
OP says
Yes! This is exactly what happened. The first half of 2 was a delight and all of a sudden, boom.
I keep hearing about three-nagers and all I can think is — how can it possibly get worse? So this gives me hope that maybe we are just hitting that stage early.
Anon says
I hope so! My kid’s not quite 3.5 so I can’t promise it won’t get worse again at some point but so far 3 has been a breeze compared to the back half of 2. I think every kid is super difficult at some point but most kids aren’t difficult all the time. Hang in there!
Boston Legal Eagle says
My second kid is hitting that back half of 2 awful stage as well. Not sure if this is helpful but my first was difficult from 2-4.5ish, but now at 5 is a delight. So even if it lasts a while, it does eventually get better! Toddlers for me are the hardest little kid stage.
Anonymous says
+1
Pogo says
Agree with this. We hit 2.5 right along w/ COVID and it was rough. Honestly, it took almost til 3.5 to start seeing some big improvements but it is MUCH better now. I actually can’t remember our last time out! We were doing multiple time outs per day (lots of hitting, throwing, etc).
Anonanonanon says
Ugh I’m so sorry. that age is just SO ROUGH. We’re dealing with a bit of a phase like that right now (not as bad as that, though we’ve been there, too!) and it’s just exhausting. This is probably damaging in some way or something, but I’ve reached the point where I calmly say “I will not be yelled at and I will not listen to yelling. When you speak to me in a normal, polite voice, I will listen” and then I literally ignore her. Yes, the first few times it resulted in a LONG meltdown but she eventually got exhausted and, like sleep training, she finally learned I meant it. It was hard for my husband to stop arguing back/trying to “reason” with her but once he was on board it took a weekend to see some improvement.
Schedule says
For those with kids in daycare, how many hours a day/week do they go? Is there an upper limit that you consider “too much” for your kid?
Anonymous says
What kind of mom-shaming question is this? Day care exists so parents can work full-time. This means that kids need to be in day care at least 45 hours a week or so.
Anonymous says
Yeah this. As much day care as I need so I can do my job.
Schedule says
It was an honest question and I don’t think I said anything inappropriate or shaming. My kids go a LOT of hours, and it really isn’t working for us at the moment – so trust me when I say I’m not in a position to shame anyone, nor was that my intention.
Anonymous says
In that case, it’s really kid-specific. Some kids just can’t handle as much group time as others. It also depends on how chaotic the facility is. My kid had a much harder time after we switched day cares from a charming, laid-back university day care to a loud, bright corporate facility. The easiest way to reduce day care time is to have one parent drop off and the other pick up, with staggered work schedules if possible.
Anon says
And there may be a way to work the schedule that makes your kid happier about being there longer. My daughter loves being the first one there (quality time with her teachers and all the toys, lol) but hates being the last picked up, even by a couple minutes. I guess she feels abandoned? She’s usually only there a little over 8 hours a day but if we needed to drop her off an hour earlier, it would be no biggie. It would result in a lot of crying if we tried to pick her up even 5 minutes later. To your point, the morning is usually calmer and more peaceful too – fewer kids present and the ones who are there are quieter and less hyper – so if your kid finds the daycare environment chaotic I would try dropping off earlier and picking up earlier.
GCA says
You need the hours that you need, and to change things you should examine what exactly isn’t working — is it later bedtimes? A long commute with hangry children? Kid social issues? How much of it is something you can work with the childcare provider on? Do you need a different center or childcare solution (eg preschool + nanny)?
Anon says
My kid went 50 hours a week between 6 and 10 months, then pandemic and we switched to a nanny.
Anonymous says
We maxed out around 40 hours. DH and I offset drop off/ pick up times/days – alternating going In earlier or later. Our kids were happier/better behaved with the extra bit of time at home in mornings/evenings. But that’s solely what worked for our family. There’s certainly nothing wrong with using more hours.
Cb says
My son is in 4 days a week (8-5:30), and honestly, I think the transition to 5 after the summer is going to be hard going. But it’s a school schedule, so slightly shorter days and so many teacher workdays, so I guess he gets a break that way. Right now, the commute is quite long and he often falls asleep en route home, which makes for cranky events.
Anon says
My daycare is open 50 hours per week, my kid usually goes ~42-43 hours (8:45-5:15ish). DH and I are university faculty and staff so we had flexible schedules and a lot of WFH even before the pandemic. I don’t think this is by any means a limit, just what works for us. I do notice a negative change in my kid’s behavior when she does 9 hours per day instead of 8-8.5 but I think that has more to do with a later bedtime than the number of hours in daycare. Number of hours or days per week does not seem to matter. Now that grandparents are fully vaccinated she’s usually home with one of them 1-2 days a week and it’s fine but she was also totally fine with 5 days a week in daycare. She LOVES school and has since she started at 16 months. I’be been thinking about quitting my job but will only do so if we can keep her in this school because it has lots of benefits for her beyond providing childcare for us. She learns so much stuff that amazes me and it’s made a naturally cautious kid really confident and independent around new people.
Boston Legal Eagle says
My kids are in daycare ~8am-5pm every day now, used to be ~7:30am-5:30pm before the new Covid rules. I think my older one would have a harder time staying later now, as dinner + getting ready for bed would be rushed as he’s sometimes asleep by 7pm now. Kindergarten will be 8:20ish until we pick him up from aftercare, which I think goes until 5:30pm but we’ll probably aim for 5 for the same reason. However this only works as long as one of us works from home that day. If we both had commutes, then it wouldn’t work.
CCLA says
Our kids currently go 40 hours (limited by Covid reduced hours 830-430). They used to go 45-50 hours a week, about 8-5:30. Not ashamed to say DH and I enjoy hanging out with them a lot more now that they’re 4.5 and 2.5 instead of 1 and 3, so I expect that even when longer hours reopen we will stick closer to 45 hours rather than 50 so we see them a little more in the early evening but we will see – they play together great and it’s nice to hear them running around the house while dinner is getting prepped, whereas 18 months ago the little one would have needed constant entertaining. It will be nice to have those longer hours though (used to be we COULD go 7-6 if needed!) for the crazy days when I have a deal closing or DH is on call.
HSAL says
Ours are generally there somewhere between 9-9 1/2 every day. I think ours charges extra if you’re regularly there more than 10 hours/day, but I’m not sure if that’s actually enforced.
CHL says
Chiming in that for us I don’t know if it was total hours but it was the pick up time that was difficult for everyone – I was rushing to get there in time, the kids were starving by the time I picked them up, I was tired, they were tired, etc. I ended up getting a helper/babysitter twice a week (and my mom once a week) to make dinner, pick them up from school and feed them so that I could get home around the same time I would have had to pick them up, but everyone’s lives were so much happier, even though they were still in “care.”
anon says
My kids were in daycare about 45-50 hours a week. Given commutes, even with staggered schedules, we couldn’t get much lower. It ended up being too much, so we switched to an au pair + part time preschool. My kids did a lot better with more time at home (and better naps). I did a lot better with happier kids.
Anon says
When I’m solo, 730-5; when partner is home, 8-4ish. The kids beg to stay longer and my oldest is indignant if she isn’t the first kid there and the last kid out. (Promise my house is loving, safe and fun, just not as fun as all their best friends and their amazing caregiver)
Pogo says
The sweet spot for me was 7:30-5:15. We’re at 7:30-4:30 now and while I like that we have more time in the evening, it’s not possible with work. Later than 5:15 would make it a real crunch between dinner/bath/bed.
Anon says
We do ~8:30 AM – 4 PM. I used to try to drop off at 9 to reduce the time spent there, but my kids didn’t care. I think my state limits daycare to 10 hours per day. I’m not sure of the reasoning behind the 10 hour number, if there’s research or if someone just chose it out of nowhere.
Anonymous says
We used to do 7:45-5:30. For my older child, it was too much, but we all had to deal with that because there wasn’t really any other option. By too much, I mean he is someone who is very sensitive to noise and finds social time exhausting, so for several years we just had to manage with an exhausted, anxious kid who had behavior issues that would’ve been less if he hadn’t been so exhausted. But you know what? These are not things that caused long term damage and again, there was no other workable option (due to work schedules and finances). It was the best choice for the family at the time. This year has been its own thing. But for next fall, we have different work schedules (spouse now works five blocks away instead of 50 miles away) and I do not think we are planning to return to that many hours of care for either child.
OP says
Thank you for this helpful perspective!
Katala says
Right now, our 4 year old goes 7:45-3:45 or so, as he gets dropped off and picked up after big brother who’s in K. School and daycare are in our neighborhood. 4 yo really doesn’t like school, but we’re not sure if that’s just his personality as he’s very opinionated and not a fan of authority figures/listening generally. When the baby goes towards the end of the year it’ll be to the same center. We’re hoping 4yo does OK for another year until he goes to K. For all his complaining about daycare he gets mad if we pick him up early (snack is at 3:30) and is otherwise in a good mood at pickup. When DH worked close to full time, both kids were in daycare more hours and a different center and seemed happy with it. The 7 hours now just works based on the school schedule but I am not sure it’s better per se for daycare than 8-8.5 hours.
Anonymous says
This is so kid and family and daycare dependent. My oldest was in daycare 40+ hours/week as an infant and it was fine. I felt like I was missing out so I reduced her hours/ but it was for me, not her.
As toddlers, I switched to preschool + nanny because they stopped napping and clearly benefitted from more time at home. Note that it isn’t more time with ME, but home doing their own thing.
Patty Mayonnaise says
Can anyone recommend a park or fun outdoor area roughly halfway between Philly and DC? Now that our friends are vaccinated, we’re very anxious to meet up, but with little kids, I figured doing it outside is the safest bet. Any suggestions?
Anonymous says
Elk Neck State Park maybe? Pretty chill bay side beach
DLC says
This is closer to DC, but there is a playground near BWI airport where you can watch the planes land. Thomas Dixon Observation Area.
The parking lot does fill up in the afternoon, though.
anonymommy says
Thoughts welcome! I’ve been thinking a lot about cheapness v. frugality. DH is a finance nerd – MBA, follows FIRE/FATFIRE reddit, podcasts, etc. regularly, and generally is knowledgeable and diligent about our personal finances. But, I sometimes have to be the one to remind him we are at a stage in life in which paying for some convenience is the smart choice! We both agree paying for a housekeeper is a privilege we love and deeply appreciate, worth every dollar. I refuse to even debate costs for anything related to childcare (like, DH’s instinct would be gripe about the random and admittedly overpriced gifts for things like teachers appreciation week etc. but has come to my way of thinking that this is one area where it is WORTH IT to keep teachers happy and our kids happy!) On the other hand, he’s an absolute stickler about making sure to seek reimbursement from work for everything work-related, where I would probably just totally drop the ball on that if it were just me.
What are some of your favorite splurges, paying-for-convenience items, etc.? And what have you had to change your thinking about?
Anon says
Honestly? I work outside the home primarily so that I can spend money on the things I want without arguing about whether or not it’s “worth it.” My husband is way more cheap than me when it comes to luxuries like vacations, and if I wanted to live under his spending rules I’d quit my job. Caveat that I’m not buying anything we objectively can’t afford – we max retirement (which is a lot because we both have two accounts), save for college and have paid off our house while also paying for daycare, so objectively we’re doing very well and are responsible with money (and we got lucky too – not trying to imply we deserve all the credit for our good situation). We discuss any major expense, like I’m obviously going to talk to him before I spend $50k on a home renovation, but I have zero qualms about booking us nice vacations I want that we can afford even if they involve $500 per night hotel rooms or other things he would find ridiculous.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Right now, probably the 2 day a week meals from Freshly that we get, as well as 1 or 2 nights of takeout, along with $$$ at the grocery – so basically, good food! We’re also at a point in our careers when we can afford to pay others for help around the house, like housecleaners, landscapers, handypeople, etc. I would rather spend my money over my time now.
I’m probably the bigger spender in our relationship, but I also manage our investments and make sure we have everything on autopay, including bills and savings, so it works.
EDAnon says
This is me too. My background is finance so I like managing the money. But I also do the spending.
Like the other commenter, we spend a lot on food. I did cancel our Hello Fresh though because I got sick of the kids not eating it.
New to daycare says
Any tips on labeling things for day care? Stickers? Stamps? Label maker? The biggest problem is clothing—what’s the best way to label?
Thanks in advance!
Anon says
I use stickers (Mabel’s Labels). I don’t label most clothing, only things designed to be taken off (coat and sweatshirt), and a regular backup outfit or two (we send in the same ones). Nothing has ever been lost. You can also write on clothing labels with a sharpie.
Anon says
I use a sharpie to write initials but same, I only label coats, hats, mittens and the backup clothing. We’ve never lost anything that I know of.
Anonymous says
I recently got a name stamp after using a combo of sticker labels, iron on labels, and sharpie, and it’s great. So speedy to just stamp stuff. The one I got is from Mabel’s Labels, we just got it a few months ago so cannot comment on quality/longevity yet, but so far I like it.
anonamama says
I think we need headphones for our 18 mo for an upcoming trip involving plane travel. Any suggestions? Thanks all!
EDAnon says
We have Paw Patrol ones that the kids like. The kids love my cheap noise cancelling headphones (Bluetooth).