Splurge or Save Thursday: Slim Signature Silk Shirt

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I love the feel of a silk shirt, and Equipment makes some of the best if you’re looking to treat yourself.

My favorite is their classic slim signature silk shirt. Here’s an elegant shirt that defies trends. This sandwashed silk shirt has two front pockets and a slimmer cut (I find it easier to tuck). It comes in a myriad of patterns ranging from a quirky deck of cards to classic solids.

This shirt is $250 (some prints/lucky sizes are on sale) and comes in XXS–4X depending on the print.

Sales of note for 9.10.24

(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)

Kid/Family Sales

  • Carter’s – Birthday sale, 40-50% off & extra 20% off select styles
  • Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off all baby; up to 40% off all Halloween
  • J.Crew Crewcuts Extra 30% off sale styles
  • Old Navy – 40% off everything
  • Target – BOGO 25% off select haircare, up to 25% off floor care items; up to 30% off indoor furniture up to 20% off TVs
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Good morning!
Does anyone in the hive have any tips for Paris with a toddler (3 year old boy? Any recs for restaurants, activities etc. would be very much appreciated.

how do you know when something is actually a problem vs not? last night kiddo would not go to bed saying that no one says hi to her at school, no one plays with her on the playground, etc. she did not actually have school yesterday (attends a jewish school and we were observing yom kippur) and then this morning made no mention of any of it and happily went off to school. was this a bedtime stall tactic? she almost never stalls bedtime (her twin sister is more prone to that). i also feel totally ill equipped to handle preschool friendship challenges and i know there are many more challenging issues headed my way! whoever said the smaller the kid, the smaller the problem, the bigger the kid, the bigger the problem was totally right.

Do any of you have a kid who’s been a poor sleeper from day 1, and have you found anything that helps? One of my twins effectively hasn’t slept through the night since he outgrew newborn sleep. He has asthma, which I think is well managed? But every time he gets a tooth he gets sick and then it’s back to multiple night wakings. His room is dark, cool, has a sound machine. He has the same bedtime routine every night. I’ve paid several sleep consultants: they all say “you’re doing everything you can: not sure why he doesn’t sleep.” The pediatrician just kind of shrugs. He will go to sleep fine, but wakes 2-3 times a night screaming. It’s not night terrors: he’s awake and smiles as soon as you go into his room. I’m exhausted and just want him to sleep 6 hours in a row for once.

Reposting from yesterday b/c it was late in the day –

Have any of you had new direct reports start shortly before or while you were on mat leave?

I’m due in the next few months and will have one new direct start about 10 days to 2 weeks prior to my due date (I was induced at 40+1 with my first, so although I could always go into labor early, I’m hoping to make it to 40 again). I’ll also have a large number of people join my team, with several direct reports, about 1/2 way through my leave (due to the closing of an acquisition).

Any tips, pitfalls to watch for, etc? Boss is very supportive so that’s a non-issue.

Anyone want to help me decide whether to switch daycares?

We’ve been at current center for two months and don’t love it. The main teachers are fine, but the afternoon ones aren’t great. When we pick up my oldest (K, who is just there for before and aftercare), the teacher often doesn’t look up from her phone or papers. The afternoon teacher for my youngest (2) is often sitting on the table, and I once walked in and saw my son wiping his face with a cleaning wipe (which she didn’t notice). The administration is…less than great – instead of telling us what we need to know, they just wait for us to ask, and they had a hell of a time getting the paperwork processed. The school, however, is super close to our house (8 mins), open until 6:30, provides hot lunch, and very diverse (which I love).

The other daycare is more academically focused and structured. The school is more modern, main teachers have BAs, school seems to be very well run and organized, and from what I could tell on the tour, all of the teachers were very engaged with the kids. The school, however, is less diverse, costs $225 more a month, does not provide meals to the kids, is 10 minutes away, and is only open until 6 pm.

I have an ~1 commute via public transit 3x/week and have a big job, and DH works from home (also with a big job). DH and I split drop off and pick up equally. We can afford the extra financial cost and can suck it up and make another lunch (the K-er insists on taking in her lunch), but my biggest concern with the switch is the closure at 6 pm.

I’m torn – the current school is more convenient, but the other option is of a much higher quality. I wish there were a third option that was open until 6:30, but most of the daycares in my area close at 6 or don’t provide afterschool care for my K-er’s school.

Thoughts?

Any ideas on how to fit three across in a Subaru Ascent? We will have one rear-facing convertible seat (too young to turn around), one front-facing convertible seat, and one infant carrier.

I’m sure we are going to have to buy at least some new carseats. We currently have the Graco Extend2Fit and Britax Advocate. (The Advocate is our favorite for how user friendly it is, but it’s also super wide.) We also have a Nuna Rava in our minivan that we could switch out.

I posted generally about this yesterday but am posting with more specifics as several people suggested!

So my husband does bedtime with our kids, 3 and 5, every night. Which is great, I always appreciate the down time. But lately him and 5 have been butting heads at bedtime and it ends up being just a mess from my outsider observer position. In my view, he’s asking reasonable things – “It’s time to brush your teeth.” – but if 5 doesn’t comply instantly, my husband will discipline and it will just escalate. Once the battle has started, neither of them budge. For me, the kid is tired (first time in full day school) and has been obedient all day, so I’d be cutting them some slack. This ends up being a huge fight between the 2 of them, with 5 ending up staying up late basically to calm themselves down after being discipline and then is tired in the morning, which is my shift with the kids and then 5 is a tired cranky curmudgeon in the morning who is disinclined to cooperate. With me, if I’m just calm, then the calmness seeps into the morning routine and we can get on our way. A couple minutes doesn’t make us late because I’ve built time into the schedule assuming we will have some resistance and I value a peaceful morning. I’m planning to discuss with my spouse this evening, but is there anything concrete you’d suggest? I’m reluctant to tell him he’s doing something “wrong” because I’m not in the arena at bedtime, but honestly, hearing it sucks as do my mornings after these blowouts. To be clear, I think he’s a good parent but I think everyone is tired by bedtime, including me.

Any recommendations for traveling in Bali, Singapore and Jakarta (with tweens/teens)? Access to the beach in Bali is a priority.

Minor harrumph: husband doesn’t want me to spend any “extra” money on maternity clothes. Dude, I’m literally busting out of my pants and none of my shirts are long enough, and it happened overnight. I’m not going to clients with my belly hanging out. The budget might have to bend for me.

Help me think through this annual dilemma. Should my kid participate in our church’s Christmas musical? This is where my values clash. On one hand, it is important to me for my kids to actively participate in our faith community. On the other: it’s weekly Wednesday night rehearsals from mid-October through early December. It usually comes with extras that I’m never prepared to handle, like tracking down a very specific wardrobe item, or providing cookies for rehearsal, etc., etc. Fall is my family’s busiest season, and adding yet another activity is a big ask, even though our church is close and convenient to home. It’s not one thing, it’s ALL of the things combined. My kid is lukewarm about the experience. Like she’ll do it, but doesn’t love it. And if you ask me, the music pastor really overcomplicates things, and I kind of wish he’d just let the kids sing a few Christmas carols and call it a day (i.e., the programs of my childhood, which had zero mid-week rehearsals).

I guess I’m looking for permission to NOT do this, but I feel really guilty about it. It feels selfish to prioritize a night at home doing nothing vs. being an active participant in church. And I feel sort of obligated to ensure good participation via my kid.

How do you balance these competing priorities?

Another car seat question! Would you buy a black carseat? I need a new convertible seat and found one on sale for $100 off (!) but only in black. The lighter colors are not on sale. I worry that the black might be too hot? Is that irrational?

It’s hard for me to justify spending $100 more on a lighter color but then again, this is a purchase we will be using for a long time.

I know this is late in the day for many, but I need to scream into the void. I am drowning at home and at work with no relief in the next several weeks. At work, I work in-house as a member of a small legal team for a subsidiary of a major international corporation. Our junior attorney left in early September. My boss is on sabbatical for four weeks. While I generally good at juggling multiple priorities, I am beginning to be overwhelmed at work. Our junior attorney handled a specialized area that required a quick response. My boss and I split the substantive work, with me taking a larger share so she could handle all the meetings. Now I am doing the work of the junior, all the meetings and all the substantive work. Drowning. And I’ve just learned that despite stellar reviews (exceeds or strongest performer), I am in the bottom 10% of my pay band.
On the home front, this summer I had reason to believe that my ex was drinking. He promised up and down that it was not true and agreed to remote alcohol monitoring. We put an agreement in place in August. He sees the kids every other Saturday to Sunday. This past weekend, the remote test showed that he had alcohol in his system at 8am on a Saturday, likely left over from Friday night. Per our agreement, he forfeited his time with the kids. I am taking heart in the fact that this shows that my instincts were right, the remote monitoring is working and that my kids are safe. At the same time, it has been a very tough few weeks of parenting. My community lost a local young teen in an unexplained accident (likely hiking), after he was missing for 5 days. The teen’s younger sibling is a friend of my kiddo. The ex did not once ask or check in on the kids. The ex is not talking to my kids about his drinking. I am taking my oldest kiddo to therapy every week so that he has someone to talk to, but the only available spot is in the middle of the work day. I make it work. This past weekend, I ran a half-marathon that I trained so hard for. My ex was supposed to have the kids, so I scrambled to find a place for them to be in the early hours when I had to get up for the race. I am emotionally and physically exhausted.

This might be too late in the day so may ask again tomorrow, but for those that have recommended the yoto player (I think I heard about that here), would you say it’s good for a 6yo? My newly 6 yo is having trouble winding down at night. She and 4yo sister share a room and we have for a long time allowed 15-30 minutes after we tuck them in to have low lights with play time (magnatiles, flipping through books, etc). Sometimes they play songs on the echo, too. She has recently expressed boredom with the usual stuff, and while I’m a fan of letting them be bored sometimes, I am sympathetic to not being able to wind down my brain and I want to explore alternatives with her. I think she might appreciate an audio book. We could use the echo in their room but wondering if this might be better.