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Anon says
I need to pack am and pm snacks for summer camp and I’m drawing a blank (previously daycare and aftercare provided snacks). I’d like for it to include fat and/or but it needs to be nut-free. Kid is weird about cheese, but would eat pepperoni at every meal (which I’d like to avoid). What works for you all?
Cb says
I do protein balls with tahini instead of PB. And breakfast cookies.
Peloton says
Check with your camp’s food allergy rules—tahini is sesame, which is banned by some camps.
AwayEmily says
To make life easy on yourself, I would plan on at least one being pre-packaged. Maybe do some grocery browsing to see what is nut-free and proteiny? It looks like there are a lot of sunbutter-based pre-packaged snacks.
Also, if you freeze yogurt tubes they will thaw by lunch.
GCA says
Same boat here. Kid 2 is a carnivore who dislikes cheese. what about: sunbutter and jelly sandwich; sliced turkey or ham; the occasional Chomps mini jerky stick; crispy chickpeas; cooked chilled edamame; yogurt pouch?
Anonymous says
Turkey pepperoni, cheese & crackers, and/or salami, cheese & crackers. Yogurt (put an ice pack in but also include a frozen applesauce pouch as a back up ice pack and back up snack). Goldfish. Also, feel free to send lunch as snack if they need more food- meatballs, sauce & pasta, a wrap, whatever. My kids have a turkey and hummus wrap sliced up (“pinwheels”) as a snack most days.
TheElms says
Some ideas we’ve tried with varying success: Yogurt pouch, Hippeas (chickpea based crunchy snack); protein waffle with sunbutter and jam (basically a half waffle sandwich); chips and guacamole; bagel with cream cheese; banana bread muffin with added flax/chia seeds with fruit; beef jerky; deli meat turkey rolled into tubes with fruit; hard boiled egg with ketchup; pretzels and hummus (there is chocolate hummus if that would be more appealing); harvest snaps (baked pea snack)
Anon says
We usually just do store -bought stuff like Goldfish and granola bars.
It’s one of my parenting pet peeves, but I think snack culture is really out of control. It’s one thing for a full day camp, especially with extended day, but I don’t get why we have to send snacks to every two hour camp, activity, and sport. Last year my kid had one day of the week where she had three afternoon snacks between school, aftercare and an after school art class. School age kids don’t need to be eating constantly between meals.
Anon says
Man, my husband would like to sit next to you! He thinks snack culture is insane, and leads to a lot of grazing/skipping meals. He gets annoyed every time snacks are randomly introduced during a short kid activity. He says to bring back orange slices and water! *shakes fist*!
I’m the opposite — I feel better when I eat lots of small meals throughout the day, but the key is that it has to be actual food, not just snack-y food. One of my sons is the same — and he is a much happier, calmer person on four or five small, protein heavy meals a day. The key is that his snacks have to be real food – so nut butter and jelly on whole grain bread, chicken meatballs, beef or turkey jerky, cheese, etc. Eating a granola bar at 10AM just gives me a headache later.
Anon says
I agree with both packaged snacks and that snack culture is insane! I don’t allocate my bandwidth to snacks, because I think they’re kind of overkill so only ever do packaged or easy snacks: goldfish or pretzels in individual bags, fruit snacks, granola bars, an apple or a little container of fruit, string cheese, yogurt, applesauce. Heck I’m a terrible mom and do junky snacks too (chips, cheezits, pudding cup).
I care about meals and make sure that lunch / dinner have protein, carb, fat and 2-3 servings of fruit or veg so I don’t care about the nutritional content of snacks.
Anon says
same. we just do packaged snacks for camp. my kids are at camp from 8:30-3:30. Yesterday my daughter’s group swam, had dance, sports, some other kind of running activity. i can understand the need for a snack, and there is no way she is going to want to eat carrots and hummus
anon says
sandwich with some combo of hummus, avocado, spinach/cucumber/carrot (portioned for snack)
roasted chickpeas
mini bento box with kidney beans, corn, fruit all separate (or corn and kidney beans mixed)
Anonymous says
Sunflower butter!
Anon says
Honestly, assuming kid is having a relatively healthy lunch, I would make life easy for yourself and just send pretzels or a granola bar or something.
Anon says
This!!!
Mary Moo Cow says
Fig newtons; goldfish; pretzels; bagged chips/sun chips/pretzels/pirate’s booty; z bars; fruit snacks; frozen go gurt; frozen grapes; boxes of raisins/made good bars.
I’m leaning into lazy summer camp snacks this year, since my kid is playing hard all day outside. I throw in fresh fruit and veggies for lunch but I’m okay with more treat foods and prepackaged stuff for snacks than I pack during the school year.
Anonymous says
I’d do fruit for one of the snacks and a granola bar for the other. Just keep it simple with something like a whole orange, if your kid is old enough to peel it.
Anon says
Inspired by the post yesterday about the grandmother being overprotective and hovering on the playground, I’ve really struggled with some of the excessive anxiety and worries that some people I know have about routine childhood activities, like climbing a ladder at a playground, swimming (supervised), and riding bikes. Don’t even get me started on the whole sub-genre of people who worry about 12-year-olds staying home alone for 20 minutes. Sometimes I feel like I can’t even say benign things like “we had so much fun on the ski trip” without a lecture on safety from people who usually aren’t familiar with the safety precautions we take or our approach to risk. Striving for absolute safety isn’t safe to me – it has its own risks, and not the fun kind. What can you say in the moment when people are criticizing your parenting in this way? They seem to think criticism is justified if it’s in the name of anxiety, but really, it’s not (and neither is sexism).
Anon2 says
I feel this. There’s a lot of research coming out about how we overprotect in the real world and under protect in the digital/screen realm. The playground hovering is a pet peeve of mine.
Despite my anxiety, I try to encourage risky play with my three boys as much as possible, and acknowledge that the scrapes and bumps and breaks of young childhood make it easier for them to learn their bodies’ capabilities and therefore LESS likely they will get seriously hurt as they get older. We have a rule that an adult will not help them get up something (lifting to the top of a slide, supporting them physically while they climb) because if they can’t get up on their own, they aren’t ready. (We do spot them sometimes.)
Luckily I’ve had no one besides grandmas really criticize my choices. Maybe you could say something along the lines of “taking supervised risks and building their strength as kids actually makes them safer in the long run!”
Cb says
That was the nursery rule we’ve adopted. It was a nursery big on risky play – I came into find my 3-4 year old sawing wood and staple gunning down carpet in the playhouse (closely supervised). They wouldn’t help a kid do something riskier than what they were ready for, but we as parents had to be ok with some mild bumps and bruises.
Anonymous says
I have a two-part response about this. First, I respect that they get to choose not to participate if I’m inviting them to something and it feels risky to them (you and I totally agree about this issue in general, but I think even those of us who like to embrace a little risk for the sake of fun sometimes have one or two things we are weirdly paranoid about, usually for a personal reason, and I can certainly empathize when other people display that fear). And second, in the moment, I usually make a joke about living dangerously or something and move on. I’m not interested in having a substantive discussion about playground risks with anyone; it’s a truly boring topic since I don’t actually care what they do, and I feel like laughing the disagreement off communicates that I don’t agree but I’d rather talk about something else.
Anonymous says
First, I share less. You scold me once I don’t tell you things twice. I’m also very comfortable saying “oh actually we are very comfortable with this and I wasn’t asking for advice.”
Anonymous says
This is what I do too.
Anon says
It’s a hard balance to strike, for sure, and while I think it’s good that we are more safety conscious these days, we sometimes lean wayyy too far the other way and it causes extreme anxiety. Any parenting subgroup is full of parents who will berate other parents about the risks of whatever they’re doing. We pick the risks we are comfortable with and move on. For us that includes skiing, horse riding, and lots of water activities, but with helmets/life jackets/other reasonable precautions. We also travel, including to somewhat “unsafe” locations (not war-torn countries or anything like that). I want my kids to grow up craving adventure and confidence. My aunt was a really anxious parent and my cousins really struggle with basic executive functioning as a result. There was a whole phase where they wouldn’t go outside due to a crippling fear of being struck by lightning or kidnapped, so they mostly sat inside and played video games, and they haven’t really moved on from that. Other people are free to make different risk choices, but people who want to lecture me on how their choices are superior will get serious side eye from me.
Anon says
I don’t worry about it. There are a million different ways to parent and I’ve given a lot of thought to what way works best for me and my kids. There are a select few whose opinions I want and the rest I just shrug off.
Reading your post I’m reminded about the “I’m rubber and you’re glue” saying. It sounds like this is a really glue-y issue for you. I totally hear you that you’re feeling criticized, but you’re also criticizing a lot. Would there be more peace in being more rubber-y?
Anon says
+1
Anon says
+2.
Anon says
I’ve never criticized anyone else’s parenting to their face? Sure, maybe would be good to let their criticism bounce off of me, but I don’t see how I’m just as bad here.
Anon says
I am one of the least anxious parents on the planet when it comes to real world experiences (and the most tamped down of any of our friends when it comes to electronics), and so my kids have done and experienced way, way, way more than their same aged peers. I’m sure my parenting choices have raised eyebrows or been privately questioned, but literally no one has ever said anything to my face about it. It’s just usually clear in offhand remarks when discussing their own choices — so a friend will say “hey, can [my kid] come to your house next Wednesday, as we are working, and don’t want her to stay alone for more than 3 hours?” And my child literally had stayed alone for most of the day before, which my friend knew. So, obviously there is a difference in what we are comfortable with, but my friend didn’t outright criticize my choice.
I’m genuinely curious here — are people actually saying stuff to you about your parenting choices? Like what?
Anonymous says
who are these people?! JFC. I wouldn’t say anything; there are no right answers. In the moment, I’d say “please pass the salad bowl!”
Anon says
who cares! either just don’t share with those people or let them say what they are going to say and move on. it’s your family so you get to choose. sounds like these are reasonably safe activities. also think that with increased social media usage it’s so easy to read about all the different accidents – like the kid who was killed in a freak accident by their sibling’s badminton racket and then come so it is more common to ‘know of someone’ who experienced something. i will say that for me personally the number of parents and kids i see riding bikes without helmets makes me bonkers
SC says
I struggle with it too. My MIL gets so anxious about swimming. But my in-laws have a pool, and they regularly invite their children and grandchildren to swim for family gatherings. Then MIL gets anxious about everyone swimming, and she tries to control everything and protect the youngest kids from things they don’t need protection from. Everyone ends up miserable, and the kids are much more anxious about swimming than they would be if they were just left alone. The irony is that my in-laws have 5 grandchildren who regularly spend time at their house and have refused to fence in their pool. They also have a doggy door for a large lab, so the kids (2 of whom can’t swim) have continuous access to the pool. But sure, let’s be anxious when we have a 1:1 ratio of adults to children in the pool, with another 3-4 adults on the side watching.
My SIL recently said something about kids taking risks that really resonated with me – “If they’re taking a risk carefully, let them do it.” So, if a child is climbing the playground ladder and watching their steps and really trying to figure it out, back off. If the same child is jumping head-first off the top of the slide, intervene. Same with swimming or skiing–if your kid is following the safety precautions your family sets, let them swim. If they can’t follow the rules, they take a break until they can, or you leave for the day. Obviously, there’s still plenty of room for disagreement between caretakers on whether a child is taking a risk “carefully,” but it seems like a good barometer when I’m deciding whether to intervene. (My child has impulsive ADHD, and there are definitely times when we need to intervene.)
As for responding to other parents, on the playground or while the child is actively trying something, I might say, “Yes, she’s so adventurous! It looks like she’s being careful, and she knows I’m here if she needs me.” If they press, I might lightly add, “The ER isn’t too far away. Thankfully, she’s never hurt herself that badly.” If it’s after the fact, like a ski trip, I’d just say something bland, like “We go every year, and we all love skiing,” or “The kids took lessons and learned when they were 4, and now we go all the time.”
SC says
I was assuming the playground critics are not strangers, but people you either intentionally meet up with at the playground or people who you happen to see and know from around town (a common occurrence for us). If they’re total strangers, feel free to say less.
Anon says
I think your first point is a good one – that excessive anxiety actually makes everyone more miserable during times that should be really fun.
Vicky Austin says
I love that advice from your SIL, thank you for sharing!
Anonymous says
I think the risks of letting a kid climb a playground ladder or a 12-year-old stay home alone are much, much lower than the risks of swimming and biking on roads with cars.
Anon says
True. But allowing a child to swim at age 6 when they know they are weak and with parent supervision, and thus building those skills, is safer than not letting a child swim much until they are suddenly 13 and wanting to keep up with friends. And a 12 year old staying home alone should be a complete non-issue; I let my 6.5 and 8.5 stay home alone for brief periods (with a no eating rule, as I am worried about choking!) I was babysitting alone by age 11.
Anon says
I’ve left my 6.5 year old alone briefly (<10 minutes a time). I started staying home alone for brief periods of time around the same age. I worry about someone finding out and calling CPS way more than I worry about the kid, who is always totally fine.
DLC says
Yeah this is a know your kid thing and also a know your laws thing. Where I am, kids cannot stay homr alone until they are 8 and cannot babysit until they are 13. I know my 7 year old would be fine at home alone, but I don’t need a visit from Child Welfare Services again.
AwayEmily says
As with all dumb parenting things people criticize me about (e.g. someone telling me last week that by sending my kids to the same YMCA day camp all summer long I was “really limiting their opportunities to grow”), I say nothing and then text my friends about it later to complain and we laugh about it. And I fully expect that I have at some point said something equally dumb that someone has texted their friends about. So it goes — best to just not take any of this personally and try to enjoy the ridiculousness of modern parenting.
Anonymous says
Girl preach!!! We are outdoorsy and my kids go to a crunchy outdoor school. My kids are strong and risk takers. Whenever anyone says anything I laugh and say “it’s amazing we’ve gotten so far without a major injury! Somehow I’ve kept them alive!”. I am VERY strict about helmets and car seats. But otherwise?? My kids have never broken a bone (which isn’t the end of the world) or had a head injury. If you let your children take risks in a natural environment they will very much exercise good judgement of risk of injury. Teenage boys actually aren’t getting injured as much in the last decade which is a BAD THING because they should be doing stupid stuff and getting minor injuries (stitches or broken bones).
Anon2 says
Yes, I heard the stat that teenage boys used to be the largest demographic for ER visits and now they are tied with senior citizen women (or something equally as appalling). Kids are not taking necessary physical risks, which is important not just for bodily awareness, but for their confidence and sense of self (and instead are taking huge risks with their mental health by being inside and on screens, but I digress….)
I’m also super strict with helmets and car seats. You’re riding a scooter in the driveway for 1 min? Helmet. My three boys scrape their knees nearly every day and have dozens of bruises, but nothing broken yet
Anonymous says
Part of that might be that senior women are being more active and taking more risks? I, for one, plan to spend more time doing adventurous things when I am retired than I do now because I will have more free time and money. My wish list includes skiing, surfing, paddleboarding, ballet, yoga, boxing or muay thai, and tap dance.
Anon says
Or that everything is a risk for women with osteoporosis!
Anon says
I think senior women having osteoporosis is for sure a big factor. My mom has always been active and physically fit, but never broke a bone until her late 60s when she slipped on an icy street. What would have been a bad bruise or a sprain her 40s was a horrible break (bone sticking out of skin!!) in her 60s.
Strollerstrike says
Looking for family friendly activities in Seattle with a 11 months old and a soon-to-be 5 year old boy.
Also restaurant recommendations, it’s our first time there:)
anon says
Spuds fish and chips at Alki Beach is my all time favorite. Feed the fries to the seagulls.
Anon says
What time of year will you be here? And where will you be staying?
Carve out a day for the Seattle Center. Lots of family-friendly stuff there. You can ride to the top of the Space Needle (get tickets early, as they tend to fill up during the summer) and enjoy the beautiful views; if you’re feeling brave, walk out onto the glass floor and look down. The Pacific Science Center is *great* for a 5-year-old boy, as is the giant playground that’s a short walk away. There’s also a food court in the Armory Building (near the playground), which is very family-friendly.
The Fremont Troll can be fun for kids. It’s a giant street art thing, basically just a huge troll hiding under a bridge, clutching a classic VW bug in one hand. A few blocks away is Local Tide, my favorite seafood restaurant in Seattle — very casual. I’d recommend getting carryout and walking 3 blocks down to the water, make it a picnic. Also nearby is the Theo Chocolate Factory Store, where you can book a Chocolate Story Time for kids and a chocolate tasting session for the whole family.
If you have time, it’s fun to take the ferry to Bainbridge or Vashon Islands. Bainbridge is a little easier to navigate on foot if you’re not renting a car, and there’s a cute little children’s museum within walking distance of the ferry terminal.
If you can give any more specifics about when you’ll be here, where you’re staying, and what you’d like to do, I can probably offer some other ideas.
OP says
Thank you so much to those that responded. We will be heading there this weekend! Staying with relatives outside of the city, so pretty open to where we could head during the day…
anon says
If you go to the downtown waterfront (which is fun, but not necessarily worth the logistics), the guys selling fish at Pike Place market are pretty entertaining.
anon says
Has anyone read Bad Therapy by Abigail Shrier? I’m reading it now based on a rec from the main board, and wow, it really dissects a number of themes over the past decade that make me uncomfortable but unable to voice those opinions out loud.
Examples like: the 3 counselors I’ve seen in the past 5 years suggest divorcing within a session or two, my toddler hitting or hurting me out of frustration and I’m supposed to be nice and take it (“battered mother syndrome”), and the focus on ACE scores and trauma, this coming from someone with a high ACE score.
I’m not suggesting my boomer parents had it right with lots of neglect, responsibility for siblings at a young age, and taking out their frustrations on us is the answer but I don’t love the Dr. Becky approach and cancel culture either. I’m saying this as someone who votes D and is generally a pretty liberal person.
Anon says
I haven’t read it yet, but I have it on hold at the library and am looking forward to it. I definitely think the permissive parenting is out of control. It’s fine (necessary, even!) to tell a toddler to stop hitting you. It’s also ok (imo) to tell a kid they hurt your feelings. You shouldn’t be a martyr about it and keep bringing it up long after it happened, but in the moment it’s fine to let a kid know their words hurt — I don’t know how you raise people who aren’t a-holes if you aren’t allowed to call them out for hurting someone’s feelings.
Anon says
actually the big problem is that people are implementing authoritative parenting as permissive parenting because many people are terrible at holding boundaries with their kids.
Anon says
That’s a big part of the problem, yes. But I do think even official authoritative parenting puts too much emphasis on concepts like “the child is not responsible for the parent’s feelings.” You can respect your kids and treat them like human beings while still respecting yourself and expecting your children to respect you.
Anon says
I keep hearing all these stories about parents who say “we don’t use the word no in our house” or “please don’t say no to my son when he hits your kid, we don’t use that word.” I can only hope this trend is grossly exaggerated because the idea of a generation of boys growing up never hearing no/that no doesn’t matter spells immense danger for girls in the future.
Vicky Austin says
God, so true.
Anon says
I have 4 kids, I live in a very politically liberal area in a HCOL city, and I’ve literally never run into a parent who won’t say no to their kids “in real life.” I think the only time I’ve seen it portrayed is during sitcoms. The closest I’ve seen someone come to it was a good friend who tried to find a yes in her kids’ requests whenever possible (“yes, we can have that, but not until X happens”) — but it was done with the impact and intent that when her kids heard “no” — they KNEW it was an absolute, no argument, no negotiation answer. I actually think it was super effective, and she has cool, fun kids.
Anonymous says
Finding the “yes” is incredibly effective. “No, we can’t have ice cream until after dinner” instantly puts kids into pushback mode. “We will have ice cream after dinner” generally meets with a more positive reaction. I also like to briefly explain why the answer is no instead of actually saying no. When a kid asks “can Susie come over right now” instead of “no” I will say “Mama is working and the house is too messy for company” or “we have to leave for soccer in an hour and a half” and they will realize, “oh, yeah, that doesn’t work.” It sort of makes them feel like partners in the decision-making? Another strategy I use is deferring the decision when the answer would be “no” right now but might be “yes” if circumstances change. Q: “Can Susie come over on Wednesday?” A: “Let’s see if your cold gets better by Tuesday and talk about it then.”
Anon says
“No, we can’t have ice cream until after dinner” instantly puts kids into pushback mode. “We will have ice cream after dinner” generally meets with a more positive reaction
I know all the parenting books say this, but I’ve never observed any difference in how my kids react to those two statements. They have the same meaning and the kids seem to know that. Maybe I just have weird kids.
Anon says
I’ve never met people like that, except for once, about 25 years ago. I briefly babysat for a family that didn’t use the word “no”. They were both doctors. I quit pretty quickly because the kids were out of control. It was such a bizarre situation that I vividly remember it, and I question how common this scenario really is.
Anon says
There are a couple of parenting “experts” who espouse the idea and of course they have their followers, but not sure how widespread it TRULY is.
Anon says
i don’t even know what an ACE score is, but these sound like horrible therapists. just because someone is licensed or trained as something doesn’t make them good at it necessarily. just like there are good teachers and bad teachers etc.
Anon says
It’s the main marker of childhood trauma. It stands for Adverse Childhood Experiences. The score is from 0 to 10 with one point for each adverse event you experienced before age 18.
https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2015/03/02/387007941/take-the-ace-quiz-and-learn-what-it-does-and-doesnt-mean
Anon says
I’ve been in therapy on and off for 15 years, probably seen 7 different people, and never heard of an ACE score either.
Anon says
That was my rec on the main board! It clarified so many things for me. It makes me worried about public school, though. My kid isn’t old enough yet but some of what I read there is really disturbing to me. I’m in CA too where I know for a fact that much of the state curriculum has…issues.
Anon says
Also, I think the fact that people even know what their ACE score is is kind of making the book’s point.
Anon says
I don’t think that’s necessarily that weird. When I first heard about it, probably in college?, I googled it because I was curious, so I know mine. It doesn’t loom large in my mind though (admittedly, I have a very low one).
Anon says
I have no idea what an ACE score is, fwiw.
anon says
If you’re genuinely worried about public school, talk with your neighbors whose kids attend the one your kids are zoned for. In my kids’ California public school, their experience is fine. The administration/school board will come up with something hare-brained for a couple of years and the unionized teachers just won’t implement it much, and the fad passes.
As a parent, I’d really appreciate it if local community members would really do their diligence on the school board candidates before voting. Often the ones who espouse community values the loudest get elected even though there are less polished, more in the weeds candidates who are more qualified (and have the same community values!).
Tired says
I read a book review on Slate and plan to pass based on some of the excerpts. Some of the general ideas are interesting to me, but I’m so tired of anecdotally-fueled outrage + political punches. If it turns out to be worthwhile and not just a rant, please report back.
Anon says
I found it very worthwhile. I find Slate to be big on reputational hits or slams based on nothing more one writer’s opinion, FWIW.
Anon says
yes, i’ve recently listened to podcasts hosting Abigail Shrier, Jonathan Haidt and Dr. Mathilde Ross, and while they disagree on some things, they all list some of the same action items as their main takeaways and I feel like it is a bunch of ‘experts’ using catchy titles as clickbait. almost all of the research is based on correlation not causation and is based on a lot of anecdotal evidence. i think it’s all still worthwhile, and I had some good takeaways from each one, but don’t think any of them are the end all be all, and it often feels like people these days have forgotten how to be critical readers
Anonymous says
Are you an actual researcher or are you just parroting the “correlation not causation” line? There are a lot of research questions for which it is impossible or impracticable to conduct a randomized controlled trial. It is possible to make causal inferences on the basis of a well-designed quasi-experimental study, but these are often attacked in the media as “correlation not causation” and not distinguished from studies that truly look only at correlation.
AwayEmily says
I am an actual researcher who has published multiple papers that include RCTs conducted on social media (they are expensive and difficult, but they can absolutely be done). I can’t speak to the other books but the Haidt book is deeply, deeply flawed. Social media may well be problematic — we can’t rule that out, and I’m all for continuing to study it — but the “evidence” he cherry-picks is just ridiculous.
Anon says
Interesting. I’m reading that book now; maybe I should be more skeptical about it.
Anonymous says
I think it’s like every other parenting trend, you take what works for you and leave the rest. RE: public schools, our schools are very focused on socio emotional learning and I personally love it. It’s not really a Dr. Becky approach that every emotion is valid and honored, but it does recognize that kids need the tools to work through their feelings. I think having conflict resolution skills and the ability to get along with other people is extremely helpful for success and happiness in life, and appreciate the schools emphasizing it.
GCA says
Yep, this is where I fall as well.
Anon says
Yeah, I’m very wary of “gentle parenting” and pretty much all parenting influ*ncers, but I have no criticism of our public schools. We only have one year under our belts, but so far the changes from my childhood seem all positive. I’m not in a politically moderate area though.
Anon says
I *am* in a politically moderate area, I meant*
So I don’t have to deal with MAGA nuts or hyperprogressive types.
Anon says
I hope the schools are allowing kids space to figure those things out for themselves, though. Some of the examples in the book made it pretty clear that adults are trying to manage childhood emotions, disappointments, and slights in a way that will prevent kids from learning the skills on their own.
Anonymous says
Well sure- it serves the author’s point to include those examples. But a few anecdotes doesn’t mean every school is doing this.
Anonymous says
I have a very high ACE score and don’t hold with modern therapy culture and cancel culture. For one thing, therapy culture that labels everything “trauma” trivializes the genuine trauma that people like me have endured. Therapy culture also absolves people of responsibility for moving forward with their lives. We have become a nation of entitled weaklings.
anon says
It resonated with me. I’ve been incredibly frustrated by this idea that therapy is a positive in of itself, rather than a medical treatment that should have goals, a plan, etc. So many therapists that I’ve interacted with, as a patient or the parent of a patient, are taken aback when I ask about treatment goals, how we’ll know if they’re met, etc. And I see a lot of pathologizing of normal struggle. Like, it is not an Issue requiring therapeutic intervention, for example, that my stepdaughter finds trips to her grandparents’ house boring and would rather do something else (real example). Teens hating family vacation is a tale as old as time.
Anonymous says
This times one million. Two of my close family members have worked with a total of six therapists. Two were actively harmful, one was useless, one provided very expensive nice chitchat, one helped normalize some feelings about a challenging situation but was not otherwise very helpful, and one gave some actionable advice and some truly ridiculous advice about a specific situation. Only one would agree to set goals but they were not of any substance. None would follow any sort of plan or evidence-based protocol, even when repeatedly asked to do so.
Anon says
Has anyone tried the Kizit “hands free” sneakers? Do they live up to the hype? Or, other recommendations for summetime slip on sneakers that don’t require sitting down to put them on?
Yes says
I love them and am on my 4th pair! I find them easier to get in an out of with socks on, but in general, yes, they do live up to the hype.
Anon says
How’s the arch support?
Anon says
I don’t have a pair, but I’ve heard it’s good (they are recommended a lot among people with orthopedic issues).
Anon318 says
I’m not sure if you’re asking for adult or kid feedback, but my kids have had several pairs! They really do slip on, which is great, and they lasted as daily uniform shoes for 5+ months for each kid. We’ve only purchased the kids Athens, so can only speak to this model, but they don’t dry super quickly. If your kid is a heavy sweater or prone to foot odor, this may not be the shoe for you (though a regular spritz with rubbing alcohol and time on the shoe dryer gets rid of the odor!). The soles of this model are similar to the heavy duty foam used in Target’s All In Motion slip on shoes, but lasted at least twice as long. We did have an issue with one pair where the sole came off the upper within a week of receiving them and Kizik overnighted a new pair for free. Overall, I’d recommend them for the price!
Anon says
I love mine too. They slip on easily and stay tied.
Anon says
Obsessed. I have at least 4 pairs. I don’t purposely wear them for long exercise walks, although they were the only shoe I brought on an Asia trip and did tons of walking. Especially great for pregnancy or infant daycare drop off (or Asian temples)… if only I could find a hands-free way to put on socks! That being said, they are so comfortable that sometimes for quick errands I will forego socks and just step into them to run out the door.
Anonymous says
Anybody a room mom and/or have gotten told what the room mom bought as an end of year present?
I’m way behind and the last day of school is Friday. 5th grade teacher who is in her mid-40s with twin teenagers at home. They are a ski family that also has a beach house. She’s been a 4th or 5th grade teacher for like…20 years. We are a wealthy school district and she lives in-town. Budget is $250. I’m capped at $100 in cash or gift-card per district gifting rules. What else can i get her that will be here by Friday? And $100 GC to….?? Plant store? She doesn’t strike me as a mani/pedi type woman. I’d do a restaurant but $100 isn’t really enough for a family of 4.
Anon318 says
Id do an Amazon gift card, an orchid or other potted plant/flower arrangement, and an indulgent dessert for the family to enjoy!
NYCer says
Target or Amazon for gift card.
Anon says
I’d do a local restaurant or coffee shop. A $100 discount is still great even if it doesn’t cover a full meal for her family.
Anon says
I really don’t like receiving restaurant gift cards that don’t cover a meal. You’re asking them to spend their own money on a meal they didn’t choose. Someone did this for our wedding and although the gift card amount was very generous it felt weird to have to spend a large chunk of our own money on a meal we wouldn’t have otherwise had any interest in.
That said I think it’s totally fine if the gift card only covers a meal for two, especially since her kids are teens and presumably off on their own a lot.
Anon says
I’d do a Target gift card. I like that for teachers because they have the choice of using it for practical stuff (groceries), fun personal stuff (clothes, beauty, toys for kids, etc.) or classroom stuff.
Anon says
i’d do a target GC or if there is some coffee shop you know she loves in town I’d do that. then, perhaps a bucket/basket with toppings for ice cream sundaes and/or 3 Stanleys with the gift receipt from target so she can return if she doesn’t want/already has
Great Wolf with 4yo says
We are thinking of taking our newly turned 4yo to Great wolf lodge in the fall. He loves the water. It looks like a lot of the height limits are 42″. Do they really enforce that for things like the main play structure and lazy river etc? I understand having that on the big slides, but the ones designed for smaller kids? He’ll be pretty close to that height by then. Maybe a couple inches short. It’s not especially cheap so I don’t want to go, and then find out he can’t do majority of the activities.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Is that height limit just for kids who are by themselves? I’ve seen tons of toddlers in the main water area (with parents for the littles of course) and didn’t see height enforcement. They def do enforce and measure on the big slides.
anon says
GWF does enforce height limits.
anonamama says
recently went to the Ohio location and I didn’t see any enforcement of size on the lazy river or pool areas. I didn’t go on any slides to know how they do it. between the splash pad, “treehouse” thing, pool and lazy river, my 4.5yo was a very happy camper. one day/night is all you need!
Anon says
What are you getting your DHs for Father’s Day?
AwayEmily says
I make a calendar using Amazon Photos. It takes about twenty minutes — I pick out all our silliest photos from the last year; the ones where kids are making weird faces, dressed in random outfits, etc, and make a photo collage for each month. We all look forward to it!
anonamama says
last night I just ordered a random assortment from Things I Bought and Liked’s Amazon list “from the kids”: the huge Gatorade gx bottle, a book with visuals on how your home works (recent HVAC woes tell me this may be good for both of us!) and a diploma frame for a post-grad degree I’ve yet to track down. things I thought about but did not buy: ninja pizza oven, solo stove pizza attachment, snow cone maker.
Anon says
we aren’t big gift givers. kids are making something at camp. gifting a tshirt that says DAD est. 2018 with kids initials for him to wear around the house, and a framed pic with each kid from our disney trip. for my dad we are sending cheeseteaks from goldenbelly
anon says
Baseball tickets. We’re spending the holiday with my ILs, and I’m hoping he will immediately regift one to his dad.
We also have a mother’s/father’s day tradition of buying a toy or book that the kid and parent will play with together. DH and DS are currently very into acting out stories with figurines, so I got some Sarahs Silks maps.
Anon says
We aren’t big gift givers. It’s typically a “buy a splurge for yourself” type thing. Husband ordered the Lego notre dame recently so that’s his “gift”. I also told him to basically do whatever he wants on Sunday afternoon and I’ll watch our son.
Anon says
Picking him up at the airport 2.5 hours away the night before. Kidding, sort of, but I’m not sure I would have agreed to this if it weren’t father’s day weekend. We’re not big gift givers and he’s especially hard to shop for, so I don’t normally get him a physical gift.
We’ll have dinner with my parents at a place he and my dad both like. Still trying to figure out where that will be.
Anonymous says
Tickets to a Mountain Goats concert. Yes, we are a Gen X cliche.
Anon says
I tend to think of things he does with kids/are kid hobby adjacent. This year we are leaning into baseball with a new glove (that he can pick out himself) for playing catch in the yard and a subscription to MLB TV. I’ve also considered a Nespresso, but decided to save for his birthday when we will also have a newborn, lol. This year the gifts are a little more big ticket, but he won’t be golfing as he often does (see: 38 weeks pregnant or perhaps pp with my fourth). In years past he’s gone golfing for the day and we’ve done smaller things, like special Cold Brew coffee grounds for summer.