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I need more color in my wardrobe, and this dress from British favorite Whistles is a good place to start.
While orange could be seen as a bold choice, I just view it as a fresh cousin to the more popular red. This midi-length dress sports fabric-covered buttons, a flattering V-neck, and a fun flounced hem.
The delicate shooting star print works for day, night, and even weekends — just change up your footwear based on the occasion.
This dress is $299 at Whistles and available in U.S. sizes 0–14.
A more affordable option is from DR2 by Daniel Rainn; the dress is $39.97 and available in XS–XL at Nordstrom Rack.
Looking for other washable workwear? See all of our recent recommendations for washable clothes for work, or check out our roundup of the best brands for washable workwear.
Sales of note for 4.18.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 50% off full-price dresses, jackets & shoes; $30 off pants & skirts; extra 50% off sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything; extra 20% off purchase
- Eloquii – 50% off select styles; 60% off swim; up to 40% off everything else
- J.Crew – Mid-Season Sale: Extra 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off spring-to-summer styles
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Spring Mid-Season Sale: Up to 50% off 100s of styles
- Nordstrom: Free 2-day shipping for a limited time (eligible items)
- Talbots – Spring Sale: 40% off + extra 15% off all markdowns; 30% off new T by Talbots
- Zappos – 29,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Up to 70% off baby items; 50% off toddler & kid deals & 40% off everything else
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off spring faves; 25% off new arrivals; up to 30% off spring
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Up to 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off kids’ spring-to-summer styles
- Old Navy – 30% off your purchase; up to 75% off clearance
- Target – Car Seat Trade-In Event (ends 4/27); BOGO 25% off select skincare products; up to 40% off indoor furniture; up to 20% off laptops & printers
AIMS says
I probably don’t need to spend $300 on another dress right now but this is gorgeous!
NYCer says
I like it a lot too! For anyone looking for something to wear to a school fundraiser at a country club (or elsewhere), here is your answer. :)
anon says
Could I wear this to the US Open? I’m so out of my element – I’m going in June for work. I’m in Boston and our company always gets hospitality tents in whatever city it’s held in and this year we get to host. It’s finance, so lots of finance bros who golf all the time (alas, I do not). What do I wear?!
Anon says
Isn’t the US open always in NY? My in laws go every year.
Anon says
I think she’s talking about golf not tennis.
Anon says
Ohh now I feel dumb. I didn’t even know there was a US open in golf.
NYCer says
I assume you mean the US Open for golf, and yes, I do think you could wear this dress or something similar if you will be mainly hanging out in the hospitality tent. If you will be walking the course to watch the tournament, then I might go for something more casual (and even then, it could be fine if you wear flat sandals that are easy to walk in), but I think a dress like this would work great otherwise.
Anon says
This is one of the better dresses I’ve seen since the whole Little House on the Prairie look became extremely popular, but I still hate the whole trend.
Anon says
I hate it too. I have curly hair and anything that smacks of Little House on the Prairie or Bridgerton just makes me look like I’m cosplaying.
Anonymous says
This dress is just a sad, limp sack in a hideous color. To me it doesn’t look floofy enough to fit the prairie/rufflepuff trend.
Anonymous says
May the Fourth be with you! Happy Star Wars Day, y’all. Because we need something to smile about.
So Anon says
The Episcopalian in me says, “and also with you.”
Anonymous says
Haha also the United Methodist in me.
Spirograph says
Same!
Pogo says
and happy cinco de cuatro!
GD says
Ladies who had gestational diabetes – talk to me. This is pregnancy #3 but my first experience with GD. I am only a few days into it but feeling very overwhelmed about all the dietary changes (I also work FT, have 2 young kids and a husband who travels, so trying to plan really specific meals for myself that meet all these requirements feels very daunting). I’m also really freaking out about the finger sticking 4x / day, which I know is not rational as it does not really hurt, but the idea of making myself bleed is giving me anxiety. So far, DH has been doing it for me but this is not sustainable. I’m also freaking out about the internet black hole as I research the implications of having this. I have a therapist and am trying to work through the mental challenges with her, but would appreciate feedback, input, tips from those of you who have been through this, including any meal services or whatever else you used. And THANK YOU.
Scilady says
I didn’t have gestational diabetes, but when I was pregnant I found this and thought it could be helpful if I did:
https://iowagirleats.com/i-have-gestational-diabetes/
Anon says
+1 I also didn’t have GD but I’m a long time reader of IGE and I thought her write-ups about her experience were really interesting and would be helpful to someone in the same boat.
Anonymous says
I don’t have any GD specific advise other than to tell you that the only thing that got me through my 3rd pregnancy was “IN (X) MONTHS YOU WILL NOT BE PREGNANT EVER AGAIN!!!!” On repeat.
I love my children but I hated being pregnant every single time.
Pogo says
I would look into a continuous glucose monitor. See if you can get your OB to write you a script, but honestly it would be worth it OTC paying $$ if you don’t like sticking yourself.
Anonymous says
I agree with this. My daughter has type 1 diabetes and both of us still dislike fingersticks (and find them much more annoying than insulin injections) even though we’ve done gazillions of them over the years. CGMs aren’t perfect and there’s a learning curve to using them, but they’re more pleasant than finger sticks and they give you so much more information about what foods to eat and what to avoid.
Anonymous says
I had gestational diabetes and also tremendous anxiety about pricking my finger and the whole thing turned me into a wreck. I pushed and pushed to get the glucose instant read monitor – i got the freestyle libre. Insurance ended up covering only a little bit but I think I paid 70 bucks for the reader and 40 for each patch. Overall I spent maybe 300 extra bucks? It takes a while to troubleshoot and calibrate correctly but I am so glad I went that route.
Lydia says
if you’re on insta, Eva Chen had GD with her last pregnancy and posted a lot about it… I’d follow her and check her saved stories for tips!
Anon says
I ate a lot of quiche and omelettes and various kinds of chicken sausage. My doctor gave me a few guidelines in terms of what to eat, but basically ended up saying, if it doesn’t spike your blood sugar above the threshold, you can eat it. So I found some low carb bread and could have PB sandwiches. We also ate chili and lasagne with zucchini noodles instead of regular noodles. Of course none of this is something my kids would eat (I had GD with my first), but we’re mostly easy to cook in batches on the weekend.
I absolutely HATE needles and, honestly, I never got over the anxiety about them. I would test with my eyes closed after lots of deep breaths. I was able to manage my GD very well through diet (I think I was only borderline to begin with), so I often wonder whether the stress of sticking myself several times a day was worse than not checking. A few times I skipped checking my blood sugar and, honestly, given how well mine was managed, I should have skipped more often, but I think that depends how consistent your bs levels are once you figure out diet.
Good luck! Remember, there is an end to this!
SBJ says
I had it with my second. Learning I had it was upsetting initially and definitely the hardest part was figuring out meals. Meeting with a dietician on staff at my ob’s office was enormously helpful in coming to terms with everything and making it seem more manageable. I also really routinized my food (not at all something I can stand normally) and had the same thing for breakfast, lunch, & snack almost every day and a rotation of dinners. I often did an adaptation of what the family was having, so if they had pasta I had a lentil-based pasta.
For the finger sticks-I took an analytical lens to it and viewed it as data collection that would help me learn how to eat. After a while I got really good at predicting what my blood sugars would be based on what I ate and I liked having that knowledge. I don’t know if that helps you-I know everyone’s different in what helps them get through the anxiety. There’s no taking away that it’s not fun to do but it really does just become routine.
Good luck. The first week or so is definitely the hardest as you find the new routine and it’s definitely way harder when you already have kid(s) & less support. Once I figured out what worked for me-which involved a long trip the first weekend to Trader Joe’s looking at nutrition labels for everything and trying anything that looked good-it because just another background annoyance of pregnancy, like all the other annoyances of pregnancy. Hopefully that happens for you, too.
Anon says
This was my mental approach to surviving it as well. I also found that my weight gain was kept in check once diagnosed with GD at 32 weeks (I passed the 24/26 week test somehow). It turned out to be a really good thing for me who needed and wanted structure for eating the final weeks of pregnancy. And it helped me postpartum (15 weeks out now) balance my eating for some moderate hypoglycemia issues I’ve had my whole life.
Anon says
I wouldn’t worry too much. I had it my second and third pregnancies. My husband travels too – I actually think that’s a helpful in this context! I didn’t bother doing a modified version of his meals usually, just did my own thing once I learned what didn’t spike my blood sugar. Lots of nuts and eggs. Cheese was okay but milk was a problem. I could actually handle ice cream before bed (full fat). Just google and get some suggested meals and agreed that I relied heavily on Trader Joes.
I think I make better choices now because of that experience.
Anon says
Hi there, had GD with my second, but not with my first or third. I found Lily Nichols’ book Real Food for Geststional Diabetes helpful (and also the book she published before then, Real Food for Pregnancy). The book goes into a lot of science that I found to be useful and empowering. I in general followed her eating plan and was able to completely diet-control — my fasting was under 90 consistently and my 2-hour post-prandial always under 120 and mostly under 100. Agree with above comments about routinized meals — I had a full-fat Greek yogurt with berries and grain-free granola for breakfast, salads or a quick skillet of TJ’s chicken sausage, spinach, butternut squash zig-zags and Parmesan for lunch, and dinner I just watched carbs. I leaned into good fats and away from the carbs I knew I should have had in moderation most days anyway. It really is doable, and you have to eat this way only for a reasonably short period of time (although I have continued both watching carb intake and balancing with protein, healthy fat and fiber, to the benefit of my health). Baby’s glucose measurements were absolutely fine post-birth. Make sure to pair any carbs with protein/fat/fiber to help glucose intake. You can do this! Sending you a big internet hug.
Anon says
Also, I’m done with the Lily Nichols books – post a burner email if you want me to mail them to you!
Anonymous says
WWYD.
My kindergartener had a rough night where she got up at 2am and didn’t really ever go back to sleep. She has a half day today where school is out before lunch. She has gymnastics later today. She missed 6 days of school over the past month due to illness (on a few of those days she felt fine but had a lingering cough so she couldn’t go). She is not behind at school.
I kept her home today and will make a call later today on gymnastics. My husband totally agrees with me. She’s just vegging out today and I’m hoping she might be able to get a little power nap in before lunch.
I felt so weird and guilty calling her in “sick” today. She’s not actually sick and I could have put her on the bus as she was up this AM (never went back to sleep). But she’d come off that bus at noon a HOT MESS and crash and burn until bedtime.
Thoughts? And also, if she gets some rest today and feels fine, is it too weird to let her go to gymnastics? I figure if she gets a nap in it will help tucker her out and get to bed on time/early tonight. If she’s a hot mess I of course won’t send her.
Anon says
I think it was fine to keep her home, but I wouldn’t let her go to gymnastics personally. The rule in our family is that if you’re too sick/tired for school, you’re too sick/tired for activities. I can think of certain circumstances in which I might make an exception, but this wouldn’t be one.
Anonymous says
+1. Especially if there was any voluntary component to the not-sleeping.
Anonymous says
It was not voluntary so I don’t want to “punish” her. She has had sleeping issues her whole life and has been doingn well recently. She just had horrible nightmares then couldn’t get back to sleep. She dozed briefly but woke up again. Poor thing was laying in her bed (for a time next to me) quietly awake all night.
Anonymous says
I think you did the right thing, and I wouldn’t feel weird sending her to gymnastics. I think everyone is being extra cautious right now, so would probably just assume that she wasn’t feeling well last night and you wanted to see how it played out/got Covid results/waited 24 hours post-fever from yesterday, etc.
Anonymous says
What you’re doing sounds entirely reasonable to me. From where I stand, there really nothing at stake here, or some kind of moral issue in play, that would generate weirdness or guilt. But maybe I just don’t understand all the factors.
Anon says
You did the right thing. If she feels up to gymnastics, then let her go
Lily says
Since it’s kindergarten, I think it’s probably fine. If she were older, I would have sent her, since she already missed 6 days of school in the last month. Consistency is important for kids. But again, I think kindergarten is less of a big deal in terms of absences.
Anon says
You for sure did the right thing. Consider it a mental health day. If she feels up to gymnastics I’d let her go. You don’t need to be concerned about “a bigger lesson” here – she’s 6, had a bad night, and you’re showing her how to be gentle with herself. (If it becomes a habitual thing deal with it then; no need to borrow trouble today)
Anonymous says
This is what I said to DH. I was never a “mental health day” person growing up but I think this one of my kiddos really will be. She has big feelings and does not do well with disrupted routines.
My other kids can handle a night of crap sleep and a day after and then just make it up but this sort of thing has a huge impact on my K kiddo. She gets that from her father.
Pogo says
Also, even if it is a habitual thing? I was definitely a kid that needed my mental health days growing up. I was ranked 3rd in my class of over 300, at the same time I was close to hitting my max number of absences. See yesterday’s discussion about hating school lol. But seriously, some kids need the break; it did not translate into a lifetime of truancy, it just helped me survive school.
Spirograph says
+1 One of my kids stayed home from school and still went to his afternoon extracurricular activity last week. He legit had a fever and was not himself when he woke up, but an hour after school started he was back at 100%. I guess I could have taken him to school at that point, but I chalked it up to him needing a mental health day and not being able to articulate that because he’s 5. I still let him go to this afternoon extracurricular activity (partly because I needed to get some work done, and it was beneficial to me to have him out of the house)
Anonymous says
If he had a fever when he woke up, he should have stayed home until the next morning. I used to work at a tutoring center and was constantly sick because parents insisted on sending their kids who had been too sick to go to school.
Spirograph says
Yes, I understand fever rules. 1. I’m 99% sure his fever was a result of the tantrum he was throwing, not an illness. 2. this was an outdoor sport, not an indoor activity.
RR says
I would have said something like “she had a rough night, and I’m keeping her home; expect her to be back tomorrow” because we email in attendance notices, but I wouldn’t have felt bad at all about “sick.”
Our rule is no school, no evening activities, but that’s a family rule that makes sense for us, not some hard and fast thing that should apply to everyone. I just like that they understand that the fun things go too because it avoids overly dramatic declarations of “illness.” But, my youngest is 8, so barring obvious symptoms, I’m relying on her to tell me when she feels ill.
AwayEmily says
Just realized I need to re-up our art supplies. Anyone have any all-star art supplies they’d recommend? Mine are washi tape (just a multi-pack from Target, the 4yo in particular loves it) and also replacing crayons when they get worn out. I got my kids a big 96-crayon box recently and they were SO THRILLED. And we melted down the old crayons to make swirly new ones in muffin tins, which was also fun!
Anon says
Paint sticks and scratch off paper have been a big hit with my art-loving 4 yo.
AIMS says
Cray-pas. The colors are so vivid it makes even toddler drawings look good and intentional.
Anon says
Oooh maybe we did something wrong but these stained a lot of things at my house. Agreed the art was awesome though.
AIMS says
I don’t know if I did anything right, but I have a giant matt from Amazon for each kid to do art projects (play-doh, perler beads, etc.) and it’s never an issue. If we don’t use it, even washable things make a stain on something for me.
GCA says
In a similar vein, we love Crayola Slick Stix! Twistable, so less mess, but just as vibrant.
Anonymous says
Double sided tape and craft foam. My kids watch all kinds of American girl craft videos on YouTube and these are the core supplies.
Redux says
I must be missing this particular craft bone in my body, but what/how/why is washi tape? We have some, but what are we supposed to do with it? My kids and I don’t get it. Maybe because I am not on p interest.
AwayEmily says
My 4yo makes art with it (like, puts it on paper and then scribbles on it). Last week the kids made mailboxes for everyone in our family out of old shoeboxes and the tape was helpful for decorating them. They also use it to tape things to the wall (and I don’t mind because it comes off super easily). Sadly I can’t give you any pinterest-style crafting guidance because I’m not on there and I don’t really like doing crafts but those are some recent use cases.
Cb says
Ah, we make letters, flowers, designs. For Christmas, my son made trees with lines of washi tape. They are fun and not messy.
Anon says
Same as the above, my 4YO uses it to decorate things. I have also found it being used to wrap around the waist and dangle figurines from her desk for imaginative play (usually accompanied by a rescuer who saves them), decorating random cardboard boxes I either need to open or need to recycle, taped across paper in decorative designs, and in one particularly jarring instance, used to mummify a fisher price little people version of snow white (not sure how scooby doo and disney crossed paths in her brain). I also recently found a mummified rapunzel wrapped in dried and hardened playdough, and the washi tape was a heck of a lot easier to remove. It is great for her because it is not super sticky, which is precisely why I would never choose to use it since it just comes right up.
anonamama says
the target paint sticks by Mondo Llama! They’re a knockoff of a more expensive brand, but I *love* these as a gift and for LO to play with.
AwayEmily says
Just added to my cart — awesome!
Anon says
Googly eyes, pipe cleaners, popsicle sticks and puff balls are in heavy rotation at our house (often used with Elmer’s washable school glue, but you need actual liquid glue as the sticks are not strong enough to hold anything). And all the colored construction paper (plus some pink-only packs because her favorite color is pink). Along with washable water colors, which, because they are washable and watercolors, she is able to do them unsupervised at 4 because they wash off of and out of everything. And random sticker packs (I usually look for the teacher-type sets at the beginning of the school year and then I don’t feel like I have to ration them because she was a gazillion).
Anon says
I posted yesterday about kids class being closed and me being sick of the whole thing – well kid tested positive for covid and now we have 10 more days of this. UGH! Help me survive these 10 days. Willing to throw money at the problem and buy all the toys.
Anon says
The thing that would make this experience the least terrible for me would be taking time off work – is that an option? My work doesn’t allow time off because of lack of childcare, but if your child is actually sick then you can use sick leave.
OP says
I mostly work for myself, so I could – but it would be very very pricey (I am in private practice and charge an hourly fee, so a day off costs me a couple thousand dollars)… but honestly considering it now.
Anon says
remind me the age of your kid and your living situation (like do you have a backyard? is it warm/cold where you live?)
OP says
It’s warm and have a yard – kid is almost 4! I have a bunch of random zooms for which kid gets screen time throughout the day which makes it hard to go far (I can cancel them but it costs me 350 dollars to cancel a 45 minute zoom – I am a therapist!) Husband is willing to help 50-50.
Anon says
i have twins of the same age. ideas that could mostly be purchased via a target drive up order:
– i recently purchased a very large kiddie pool (called VISTOP Jumbo Foldable Dog Pool, Hard Plastic Shell Portable Swimming Pool for Dogs Cats and Kids Pet Puppy Bathing Tub Collapsible Kiddie Pool (71inch.D x 11.8inch.H, Blue)) and took our little tikes slide and put it in the pool and it provided 2+ hours of fun. actually, first i started with a $10 kiddie pool from target, but that wasn’t quite large enough for my 2 kids together. and then each day you could like add in something else. like add in crayola scribble scrubbies or figurines or whatever your kid’s jam is. i was literally able to sit and do nothing.
– water blasters (our target had some that were $1 each in their dollar spot section, but there are also some for $5 that you can buy online and pick up in store).
– i have girls who love the ‘Kinetic Sand Sandyland Folding Sandbox’ but if your kid is a boy and that looks too girly, there are others
– mine have gotten very into coloring lately and i like crayola color wonder products so i dont need to worry about markers getting everywhere
– magnatiles are our most played with toy. you can also use them to stick to most garages. there are some fun add on sets
– washing your cars outside or if you need the silence, driving with kiddo to a carwash
OP says
Have a yard, kid is almost 4, and I have a husband who will split the caregiving pretty evenly.
anonono says
Sympathies! Not sure of the weather or what your kids are up for, but this list of outdoor toys for kids might be a great place to start if you want to buy all the things: https://busytoddler.com/outdoor-toys-for-kids/
Includes items like:
Giant bubble wand
Stomp rocket
Hippity hop
Bubble blower
Splash pad
Giant box of chalk
Basketball hoop
Comet balls
The homepage of her website also lists activities for different age groups under the heading “How are you making it to nap time today?”
Boston Legal Eagle says
My 3.5 year old really likes our sandbox too. And during spring 2020, we bought a giant inflatable bouncer to keep my then almost 4 year old entertained.
Anonymous says
Buy an iPad, chrome book or kindle fire you don’t have one. My kids (4-9) play the heck out of ABCYA canes and have done so through many sick and quarantine days.
Pogo says
We got a lot of mileage out of Khan Academy during our battle with COVID. Kiddo loves the ‘coloring book’ section, as well as the “read to me” books about animals, trucks, dinosaurs, etc.
Buy magnatiles if you don’t have them already, and if you do, order more. That also saved us during COVID.
Anonymous says
If kiddo has COVID, won’t they just want to lie around with a tablet?
Pogo says
For my child, that lasted approx 16 hours. Then he was 100% good as new.
Anonymous says
Nope, mine had 0 symptoms, and it was honestly the healthiest she’d been all winter.
SC says
I hear you about cancellations being costly when you’re in private practice. If you can, reschedule some of your Zooms so that they’re grouped at certain times of the day, and have your husband cover you during that time. I would also enforce a 1-2-hour quiet time after lunch.
As far as new toys, I think you lean into whatever interests your 4 year old. My son has never stayed outside by himself for more than 30 minutes, and art projects hold his interest for about 15 minutes. But he’ll play with Legos and building toys and puzzles for a couple of hours. What typically holds your 4 year old’s interest? Buy more of that.
Also, screen time.
Anon. says
We got a ton of mileage out of the color it yourself cardboard house I bought on Amazon during a quarantine last winter for a 4.5 kid. The coloring, the pretend play etc.
Anonymous says
With a 2-year-old we got an entire day out of coloring and playing in an Amazon shipping box big enough for him to sit in. It was an airplane, a cave, etc.
Anonymous says
Bounce house for your backyard, seriously. Also a bunch of kinetic sand, a swing or some sort of play set if you can set up something immediately, one of those huge cardboard boxes you can color. Melissa & Doug folding castle set. Lean into Vox Books read aloud books and Circle Round storytime podcast. All the play dough. I’d also block out an hour in the morning and an hour after lunch for TV. Take a walk/bike ride over lunchtime with him. Do half days and split with your husband if possible.
Anon says
is it weird to buy flowers for our nanny to give to her at the end of the week? she obv is not my kids’ mother and has her own daughter, but her husband is currently on a project out of town and will not be home for mother’s day and she is soooo wonderful with my kids and has been with us for almost 4 years and has been taking care of my sick kids all week.
NYCer says
Not weird at all IMO.
Anon says
It’s not weird, it’s nice. Especially if she has her own kids. I don’t think it’s ever a bad thing to acknowledge a mother in your life with flowers on Mother’s Day.
Anonymous says
+1
Anonymous says
Not weird
Tina says
That would be so cute! My family is very big on the every mom/aunt/grandma/nanny is “like a mother” in some way and gets honored on mothers day tbh.
Realist says
My personal rule is that it is that I choose to be kind and generous. Obviously I try not to be super awkward and think about the other person’s comfort zone, but I generally choose to act on my impulses for kindness and generosity. So I would absolutely get the flowers and hope that the nanny appreciated them. But I wouldn’t feel bad about it if she acted slightly embarrassed about getting the flowers, that is just a risk of surprising people.
anonM says
It’s also teacher appreciation week so fitting.
Boston Legal Eagle says
https://www.target.com/p/little-tikes-pack-8216-n-roll-bouncer/-/A-53662295
Boston Legal Eagle says
Sorry – meant for above.
So Anon says
I’ve posted this question over on the main site, and the responses have been “quit.” However, I am well paid, have immense flexibility and otherwise love my job, so I’m hoping for advice other than find a new job:
Two work questions generally regarding a micro-managing boss. Boss is GC and I am assistant. Boss is generally an insecure person who is relatively new to this field: (1) Boss wants to be invited to every meeting that I attend, even when the meeting is a 1×1 with a peer of mine. I totally get it when the subject matter is a big deal and her peers are in attendance. (2) We are a small legal team, and really need each one of us to pull our share of the work to keep the department moving forward. Boss’s view is that meetings = work. Boss really likes to hold meetings and talk. Our team meeting is boss telling us what has occurred at other meetings. The other attorneys on the team, myself included, have a ton of work and are all under water. The bulk of our work is head down, deep work involving legal analysis. Boss cannot handle any complicated subject matter (which is all of our work) over email, and needs a minimum of 30 minutes to discuss any topic. The result is that we spend our work hours reading and explaining things to our boss, and then need to work off hours to do the actual work. Any advice on how to tell boss that we need time to work and cannot do everything in a communal meeting?
Redux says
Hm… government, corporate, or nonprofit? I feel like that makes some difference in my answer. I am in a similar position to you reporting directly to a GC and have had some pain points with micromanaging.
So Anon says
Corporate. US subsidiary of multi-national corporation.
Redux says
So, this actually doesn’t seem that strange to me for a new GC who is relatively new to the field. She is surely trying to catch up on the substantive law AND the structure/function of the legal department that she now leads. She needs to know the contours of the law you work in and wants to learn it from you rather than by studying the statutes or whatever. Plus she needs to know who on her team is working on what (and with what skills). It doesnt sound so much like she is micromanaging as much as she is trying to learn her field and her team.
If you are the Asst. GC and the other attorneys report to you, I would just cut everyone else out of these meetings and set up a standing meeting with you and your GC to touch base on various priority projects. There is no reason your direct reports need to be meeting with the GC (unless you are all Asst. GCs? Not sure of your structure). A script could be, “Hey GC, I see you set up a team meeting on Thursday morning. If it works for you I told Attorneys A, B, and C, that I would handle the meeting so that they can dig into X time-sensitive project. But I’d be happy to use that time to catch you up on X, or think through solutions to Y.” If there are details that come out of that meeting that require the input of Attorneys A, B, or C, then you would be responsible for getting that from them and filtering it back up to the GC. In my role, I play gatekeeper somewhat between the GC who needs to know the top levels of all the priorities and the line attorneys who are in the weeds on all topics, priority and banal.
Anonymous says
The responses were to block out time to do work and if that isn’t effective to job hunt. There’s no magic bullet to get your boss to change
So Anon says
Ugh. You’re probably right. I enjoy my work and the freedom but feel entirely undermined by a boss who can’t do their own work and thus needs to be hand-held through everything. I like the job and all of my coworkers except for my boss, and I’m not sure how much longer I can stick with the job under these circumstances.
Anonymous says
Also consider whether it’s entirely that the boss can’t do her work, or whether part of it is that she has a 180-degree different workstyle from yours. It sounds like she is collaborative, and that she processes information verbally and orally, not by sitting alone at her desk reading. Your and your coworkers have a preferred workstyle of “sit alone and read the stuff on our own and don’t talk about it unless we see a need; talking does not equal ‘working.'”
Anonymous says
You could try asking on Ask a Manager? I think she usually has really good scripts for these situations.
anon says
Do you think your boss will last long? Could he lose his job or otherwise move on?
Anon says
To reduce the number of meetings that boss wants to attend, I would just call colleagues and have a quick conversation rather than scheduling a formal “meeting.” And consider if there are other areas where you can act more independently instead of looping your boss in to explain something – for example, if appropriate and within your expertise just sending an email saying on X project we will be doing Y and not making a recommendation or asking a question.
But I will say that I had a boss that was not quite this bad but did require a ton of discussion and weighing all options and could never make a choice and it made it hard to do my job well, and also there was no way to change her. Maybe you can wait it out and see if this person quits or gets fired but if you’re trying to outlast them, keep an eye on how their poor leadership affects your reputation and ability to be effective.
Eek says
How long has your boss been in her position? If she’s relatively new, this seems like the type of thing that might get better over time as she gets most comfortable in her role.
Cornellian says
I didn’t see this come up this morning: are you the only one who feels this way? are you the right person to address it directly, if someone is? I’m a lawyer reporting to a CLO, and if one of the non-lawyers was bothered by the CLO’s approach, I’d be happy to get involved on their behalf, especially if it’s a problem affecting everyone on the team. If there’s buy in from everyone, you can maybe delegate who does what to address the problem
in the interim, if your colleagues agree, I’d also start doing quick stops by their office or phone calls and not “meetings” the boss wants to attend.
Louisa says
Hey Portland people! I’m looking to do a couple of days at an Airbnb in Portland with my mom and two kids in tow (one toddler, one older elementary). Basically this breaks up a longer drive to the beach. Hoping to do the zoo one day. I know Portland has its challenges these days can folks recommend areas of town that would be fun to stay in? Thanks!
Anon Lawyer says
I would say rumors of its demise have been exaggerated! I was downtown last night and it was fine. That said, I wouldn’t stay downtown as it’s not the most fun. I would check out the Alphabet District/NW 23rd/Nob Hill (I feel like the boundaries kind of overlap and people use different names). Lots of restaurants of different types and formality, some food carts, shops, and very walkable. And it’s just down the hill from Washington Park which leads up to the Zoo.
If you stay there, check out PDX Playdate (if you’re comfortable with indoor activities). Great climbing structure for the kids and beer and wine for the adults.
Anonymous says
Most areas would be fun! For an Airbnb I wouldn’t imagine you’d be looking right downtown anyway which is the only place I’d actively avoid staying right now (which pains me SO MUCH as a Portland native with a small kid who is obsessed with downtown/big cities). In SE Belmont area or Hawthorne area are perennially fun and more walkable. You might enjoy in N area Mississippi or Alberta areas. Less Portlandia ish but still very pleasant would be most of NW.
Anon Lawyer says
I took my toddler downtown last night and it was actually much livelier than it was a year ago. We left around 6pm so weren’t there after dark but I wouldn’t hesitate to take your kid there in daylight. Can’t speak to after dark.
Anonymous says
Yep! We do go downtown still frequently and still enjoy. I just look to see if there are any political rallies first. My kid wanted to go on Saturday and we would’ve been walking right through the Republican gubernatorial candidate’s rally where there was an altercation involving fireworks.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Ha, as a New Englander, I thought you meant Portland, ME and I was wondering what could have possibly happened to downtown?! I’ve actually been to both Portlands, but am more familiar with the East Coast one as we’ve been many times.
Anonymous says
That everyone! And sorry not to specify which state. I grew up in a smaller city in Oregon and always enjoyed going to Portland so hearing these positive reports is so nice.
Anon says
I thought it was Portland Maine too until she said zoo because there isn’t a well known zoo in Portland Maine (not sure there’s a zoo at all?) and the Portland Oregon zoo is pretty famous.
Happy Lawyers says
I posted the other day about happy lawyers- thanks so much for all of the responses. For context, I used to be a junior partner at a firm in litigation and left for a job that I thought would be less stress / a better lifestyle / more happiness. Instead, it feels like a whole new set of problems for less money. It’s really disappointing and I feel so dumb for taking this leap. I’m not sure if I’m ready to throw the towel in on being a lawyer altogether, but I wonder sometimes if I’d be better off just doing something else altogether.
Anyway thanks for the responses and listening to my whining. I hope I can find my version of a unicorn job soon.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Don’t feel dumb! You just haven’t found the right job yet, and that’s ok. I think, in general, lawyers tend to be more risk averse in terms of job hopping and feel stuck in their first or second jobs, thinking this should be it (not to mention high loan amounts keeping them stuck!). But in other industries, tech for example, it’s extremely common to switch around every few years for better/different jobs.
Anon says
Rough couple of days.
I had both of my kids when I was older – 36 for the first, 42 for the second. I knew in each case that my ‘geriatric’ pregnancies carried some increased risks. I also knew that with the availability of scans and testing, I would have a good sense at all points in the pregnancy whether things were going well, and options were available to me in case they weren’t. I ended up with two uneventful pregnancies and two healthy and happy kids – but in a pre/post Roe world, I’m not sure I would have taken the risk of getting pregnant at all, certainly not with my second. Just thinking it through has really messed with my psyche.
I get so frustrated with the ‘things are better now, so we don’t need all of these extra protections any more’ arguments. Justice Roberts did it a few years ago when he decided racism was solved so we no longer needed the Voting Rights Act; the leaked anti-Roe decision rests, in part, on this idea that things are so much better for women now than there were in the 70’s that an unplanned pregnancy is no big deal, or at worst can be “solved” with adoption. Are the justices really so blind? The fact that things are better is proof that the laws are working, not that we should take them away!
Don’t ever take anything for granted, I guess … except Gun Rights, of course. Guns have more rights than women.
Boston Legal Eagle says
They’re not blind – everything they claim is pretext for their real goals of going back to the past where white men ruled and everyone else had no power. If Thomas and Barrett think otherwise, they are fools.
Anonymous says
It doesn’t matter to Thomas and Barrett because they are rich and powerful and won’t be affected.
Anonymous says
My nanny has agreed to watch a friends’ kid who is coming into town, in addition to my twins, for a day so we can have a grown up date. What would you pay her? They’re all 14 months, one is walking.
Spirograph says
Assuming this is a full and day she would have been watching your children anyway, I would pay her an additional 1/2 of whatever her daily rate is. If she’s doing extra hours for you on what would normally be a non-working day, I’d figure somewhere around $20/hour (depending on the going rates for babysitters in your area).
SC says
I’d probably pay 150-200% of her regular hourly rate when she takes care of your twins. It’s a one-off event, so err on the side of generosity. And I’d pay the extra as a cash bonus.
NYCer says
How much do you pay her per hour to take care of your twins? Three 14 month olds is a handful, so I would definitely err on the side of being overly generous.