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Sales of note for 7.10.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Nordstrom – The Nordstrom Anniversary Sale has begun! Here are all of our picks.
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Kid/Family Sales
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Anonymous says
For those of you who went from working to SAHM, how did you decide to take the leap? I have a preK kid with some support needs and just found out I’m expecting #2. My job just feels less and less like a priority, and it will likely be much worse once the baby arrives. I’m a senior attorney at a government agency and my (maybe naive) hope is that I could jump back in when I’m ready. Any advice? Thanks!
Anon says
I have stepped down slowly over time, to the point where I am now a consultant with a very light schedule basically one step away from being a SAHM. I guess “know thyself” is my biggest tip. I have a tendency towards post partum depression/anxiety, and really, really, really struggled with toddlers. I enjoyed having a reason to get up and get dressed every day when I had babies, and needed the break that work provided from my kids when they were 1 to 3. I also would have had a nearly impossible time managing a toddler and a newborn at home. If you can keep the toddler in preschool or care, that would’ve helped me. But I didn’t have to manage appointments, so YMMV. Also, I’m glad I continued to earn at a higher rate through the kids’ babydom and toddler years, so I could step back with elementary school kids, and be here when they get off the bus/volunteer in classrooms, etc. But I’ve always known I was a “bigger kid” kind of parent, so again, YMMV.
Anon says
I only have one kid but I’ve had a similar experience. It was hard to go back to work from maternity leave, but from ages 1 to 4 I was very glad I worked. I don’t think I would have enjoyed being home with a kid that age. I’ve leaned out more as my kid as gotten older and really enjoy having the flexibility for the elementary school years to volunteer and be there in the afternoons.
Anon says
me too. i would be the worst SAHM ever. i’d only be a good SAHM if we could also afford a nanny/housekeeper. maybe i’d feel differently if i had one kid at a time (twin mom) and/or didnt have ppa/ppd, but i felt like the walls were closing in on me and whiel going back to work was SO hard, i think it saved me from myself. we also have a wonderful nanny who has been with us for 5+ years and i am very grateful we can afford to keep her on
Anon says
Oh, and regarding stepping back in to a job, for better or worse, I live in a very affluent area (close in suburb in Boston), and since leaning out of work and leaning more into kids’ stuff, I’ve found my “next step” prospects have widened. I recall reading an article about this — basically, women from affluent families who are able to step back from their profession and engage in “high profile” volunteering don’t experience as much difficulty getting back into work at some point in the future. There is so much privilege to this, it’s absurd and disheartening, but it’s also true. Since leaving my BigLaw job to be a consultant and getting more involved with my elementary aged kids, I’ve been asked to sit on local boards and committees in our local government, on the board of a local theater and sports team for one child, and I’ve met a broad range of people who have presented job options along the way. Nothing that pays anything close to what my BigLaw salary paid (and there’s no way I could go back to BigLaw at this point), but for instance, a local non-profit was looking for an Executive Director, and I’m pretty certain I could have gotten this job. Not saying that any of these are necessarily what I will want to do when I ramp back up, but it feels like there are SO many more options and I know SO many more people in different fields than when I was in my BigLaw job. Also, if I had stepped back when my kids were younger, I would not have been aware of or involved in this broader community, and probably would have felt pressure to go back to my BigLaw job right when a lot of these opportunities started to present themselves because (at the time) it felt like the only career that was an option.
Anonymous says
+ 1 million on this. I’m in state govt and there a lot of board/advisory groups with the most mediocre white dudes because women don’t put their names forward. If you have any kind of legal background, getting these kinds of opportunities is a good way to stay visible for a low time commitment.
Anonymous says
This is true but only for affluent, well-connected women. I am neither. I get lots of volunteer opportunities through my non-work network but all my leads on paying jobs come through professional networking. My wealthy MIL, on the other hand, has both received and given out jobs through her social network.
Anon says
I’m affluent (not relative to others here though) but not well-connected and I got a job through a personal connection…parent in my kid’s Girl Scout troop is in the same general industry and had a good opportunity on his team. I had to interview for it but I wouldn’t have known about it if not for that connection. I think it happens even to people who aren’t well-connected and mega wealthy!
Anonymous says
I live in a middle-class suburb of a MCOL area. The only people I know socially who discuss work are teachers. I know some white-collar workers but they never talk about work at social or school gatherings. I know zero other professionals. It is very much not a crowd that asks “what do you do” or introduces themselves by their jobs.
Anon says
I’m the 11:29 poster. I live in a college town and wouldn’t say we have a work-centric culture. People don’t lead with “what do you/where do you work” but it comes up when you’ve known someone for a while.
Anon says
I’m at 10:39, and the examples I’m thinking of have run the gamut — we do live adjacent to a VHCOL city (Boston), so pretty work centric — but still, these feel somewhat non-traditional. A good friend who formerly was in marketing started doing a few hours a day of digital marketing and social media management for a few local businesses and now has a small consultant shop after she met a bunch of business owners while on the board of the local chamber of commerce; a member of our school board used to do accounting for a Big 4 and ran for school board after she stayed home with her second and was offered a COO/CFO job in a local startup; and the job that I’m sure I could have stepped into was as a part time Executive Director for a local non-profit. Nothing particular high paying, but all great options for ramping back up into the work force, and all opportunities that came from higher profile volunteer gigs.
Anon says
I’ve been a SAHM since my oldest was a baby, so my situation is different. I didn’t love my job, both my husband and I had jobs with long and unpredictable hours, and I knew something had to give. Plus, I don’t deal well with stress, and knew I wouldn’t be able to handle both home stress and work stress and still do justice to anyone.
I have loved being home with my kids and fully embraced it (I’m pregnant with #4 now). It can be boring and a slog and some days (especially with tiny kids) last forever. But isn’t that true of any “job”? I knew my time at home was overall more meaningful to my kids and fulfilling for me than my previous job would’ve been at those low points.
Practically, we lived on one salary and banked the other before the switch. We have appropriate life insurance policies on both of us, and I am point person on all our finances/bills so I maintain agency in that regard. We’ve definitely made financial sacrifices and aren’t maxing out anything, but the slower pace and more connected family life we’ve been able to achieve is more than worth it.
I don’t ever expect to go back to my old field, though. Didn’t like it, and will be happy to figure out something totally new when the time comes.
Anonymous says
I do think it’s very challenging to jump back in when you have been out entirely. Can you lateral to another fed job? Maybe one that allows part time?
Not federal govt but I work a govt lawyer job where ‘we don’t do part time’ and ‘you can’t use unpaid leave one day per week’. I’ve done both in the past year. Currently work a 3.5 days a week (24 hrs).
Key selling point was that I retain my permanent job but I’m on leave to a contractual part time position. It saved enough salary dollars to fund a contractual junior lawyer. Work still goes through me when means occasional calls on my day off but there’s a big difference between jumping on a 30 min call and having the junior available to be on the call and turn around the draft to the client after the call vs. having to do the work. Office is flexible enough to ‘reclaim’ the time on other days. Junior is a filter for what needs to get to me on my day off.
I love picking up the kids after school 2 days a week and having one day off for life management. I work out on my half day before getting kids at school. I’d be miserable home full time. I need a life outside of being a mom.
Can you take a year of unpaid leave? Some govts allow leave for educational purposes? Maybe do a part time post grad certificate in project management or something not strictly law?
Anonymous says
I’m not technically a SAHM: I do consulting part time, but I haven’t had any work in weeks. So I guess take my advice with that in mind. Three years ago I got laid off from my last consulting gig (my industry is very feast or famine), and we got a call to take placement of foster twins. I also have a first grader…he was four when we got the twins. So I took almost two years off to care for the twins (that was actually a really hard two years), then last spring I found a unicorn gig consulting part time. What I love: my life is really flexible in a way that it wasn’t with my first. We made it work, but I missed out on a lot of stuff simply because there aren’t enough hours in the day. Also, I feel like I know my kids. I’m there for the meltdowns and the snuggles. I can make dinner and we can eat together most nights. I have time to do laundry and take kids to appointments. Two of my kids have therapy weekly and one has asthma which requires two different specialist visits quarterly. It’s a lot. I also know this stage isn’t forever. What I don’t love: I have almost no adult interaction other than my husband. I also know my hourly rate and sometime it pains me that I’m spending it sweeping the floor or washing dishes. I’ll be honest: I had a lot of guilt about not working. But my husband was/is really supportive. We both prioritize rest over productivity, but we recognize that each family gets to strike that balance for themselves. I honestly admire moms who work 60 hours a week and still get it all done. But that’s just not me. Not right now anyway. One reason I love this community is everyone is on a different track, but we’re all supportive of each other. Motherhood can look different for everyone and no one is doing it “incorrectly.”
Anonymous says
We bought our “forever home” when we were both working two full time big jobs. We chose a home we could afford on one income, albeit on a much tighter budget.
For three years, we both worked and saved most of the excess. Then I was laid off and life was honestly so much better. We had a lot of cushion in the bank plus our expenses could be ratcheted down. We decided it was plausible for me to stay home/consult. That was 7 years ago. My kids are now all in elem and i have gone back to pick up additional work/clients and I’ve gotten more free time. If I had to, I could go back to the level role I left in 2016, or possibly slightly lower. I just don’t want to.
Anonymous says
Why would you think you can jump right back in? When you’ll be competing with people who kept their skills current.
Anon says
I didn’t decide to be a SAHM, but I work a very easy job with a lot of flexibility (I’ve been doing the same thing for years, have a lot of autonomy, and work remotely). I’m able to drop everything at a moment’s notice if the kids are sick, exercise and run errands during the workday, and take time off for multiple vacations/school breaks a year. What I’m saying is you might have the option to just work a not very stressful job or lean out at your current position (do C level work, not A plus work) and get some more bandwidth for hands-on parenting /other life priorities that way. I feel like I’m on the slow tortoise track, not using maximum effort but also not burning out as a parent or as an employee. I feel like a lot of people who stay in the workforce for decades go through periods of basically treading water and that’s ok too. But I do feel like you only live once, and if staying home is what you really want, try to make that happen. Did you enjoy maternity leave? That might be an indicator of what it will be like initially.
Anonymous says
I have a 7 and 4.5yo and left the workforce when my oldest was 1. I definitely assumed I would go back to work eventually and think I could’ve easily, but now found that I do t want to :) I also homeschool my kids so they’re still with me all week except for 3hrs when they’re both in programs. For me, when my oldest was a baby, I was like “what am I doing with my life”!? I knew I wouldn’t get the time back and I acutely missed my oldest while I was at work. I heard other working moms describe Monday as a “relief” after parenting all weekend and I literally never felt that way. I actually like babies/toddlers so it wasn’t a hardship for me. I find motherhood much more fulfilling than my career was (even though I liked my job). Every day is different and challenging and I’ve learned a lot (about child development, parenting methods, educational pedagogy). The first 6 months of having a 2yo and a newborn was ROUGH due to my newborns needs but I survived.
Anonymous says
Oh also to add the financial component – we bought our first house a few months before we quit. We were pretty frugal in our 20s, not going out for dinner/drinks a lot so our monthly mortgage plus insurance and taxes is less than what our rent was. We had to be on a tight budget our first 1-2yrs but my husband has received a fair bit of promotions/raises since then. We’re still frugal in that there’s not much impulse purchases, I cook 19 out of 21 meals every week and we both wear our clothes until they’re worn out (so I am not stylish!). But we are very financially comfortable now and have good retirement savings, saving up for a bigger home, and save aggressively for our kids college.
Anony says
Hi there-fellow federal employee here though not a lawyer. I saw myself a few years ago in your posting, so my unsolicited recommendation is to stick with the job for now to wait for more information on PK kid needs/baby needs AND loosely look for work at another agency in the next few years. My oldest had special support needs in the preschool years and the unknowns and logistics of therapy felt like a lot. We also had a second baby when he was 3.5 just to add to the chaos. I definitely thought about leaving my job after the baby’s birth. Instead, I gave work a B effort and took intermittent FMLA for therapy appts (fed spouse did too) over the next year and identified things we could outsource and make our lives less hectic (2x month cleaners and Instacart Costco delivery). I felt guilty as I’d always been a very high performer and then I realized that my B effort was still acceptable to everyone else, I was still getting good performance reviews, and it was important that we both continued to save for retirement/get the match/pension so that we could have flexibility in later years if kid(s) needed more support. Candidly, the federal government is unlikely to fire you when you are pregnant or in the year after you return from parental leave. So, take the extra years of earnings for hitting minimum standards, even if you decide to leave eventually.
As your kid(s) get older, you will have a better sense of their needs and it may surprise you. My older child is now in elementary school and doesn’t require special services anymore. The younger kid does require special services and will for a while. Recognizing that, we moved from daycare to an au pair/parents day out program when he was 18 months, which has alleviated some of the logistical challenges with getting to therapy and has the bonus of after school care and sick/teacher workday coverage for older kid. We can pay for this because we have both kept working. We fully plan on one of us taking a step way back when older kid hits middle school and we are planning for it to be my spouse not me. I was able to pivot into another role that is fulfilling and awesome once those rough years were behind us. Just a possible view from the future.
Anony says
Hi there-fellow federal employee here though not a lawyer. I saw myself a few years ago in your posting, so my unsolicited recommendation is to stick with the job for now to wait for more information on PK kid needs/baby needs AND loosely look for work at another agency in the next few years. My oldest had special support needs in the preschool years and the unknowns and logistics of therapy felt like a lot. We also had a second baby when he was 3.5 just to add to the chaos. I definitely thought about leaving my job after the baby’s birth. Instead, I gave work a B effort and took intermittent FMLA for therapy appts (fed spouse did too) over the next year and identified things we could outsource and make our lives less hectic (2x month cleaners and Instacart Costco delivery). I felt guilty as I’d always been a very high performer and then I realized that my B effort was still acceptable to everyone else, I was still getting good performance reviews, and it was important that we both continued to save for retirement/get the match/pension so that we could have flexibility in later years if kid(s) needed more support. Candidly, the federal government is unlikely to fire you when you are pregnant or in the year after you return from parental leave. So, take the extra years of earnings for hitting minimum standards, even if you decide to leave eventually.
As your kid(s) get older, you will have a better sense of their needs and it may surprise you. My older child is now in elementary school and doesn’t require special services anymore. The younger kid does require special services and will for a while. Recognizing that, we moved from daycare to an au pair/parents day out program when he was 18 months, which has alleviated some of the logistical challenges with getting to therapy and has the bonus of after school care and sick/teacher workday coverage for older kid. We can pay for this because we have both kept working. We fully plan on one of us taking a step way back when older kid hits middle school and we are planning for it to be my spouse not me. I was able to pivot into another role that is fulfilling and awesome once those rough years were behind us. Just a view from the future!
Anon says
I’m an attorney. I went part time after my first kid (3) was born: DH moved into a more demanding job with less flexibility, and kiddo had a lot of medical appointments and therapy 3+ times a week. With the second kid (now 1) I quit my job 3 weeks after I returned due to an unexpected medical issue with him that requires a lot of my oversight and management. I am happy with my choice.
That said, I struggled greatly with PPA/PPD with each kid. We send our oldest to preschool and I have a regular babysitter for the youngest a few hrs a week so I can take care of myself. Without this arrangement, I’d really suffer.
Now that my youngest’s medical condition is under control, I’m trying to re enter the workforce, or at least explore flexible jobs. I am not concerned about finding *a* job—it just may not be as exciting, prestigious, etc.
I’m happy with my current stage of life being a SAHM. If you told me this pre-kid, I’d be mortified as I was always an ambitious person. Although each day is still challenging, this is the best choice for me and my family. I am overall less stressed than I was before trying to navigate lots of medical issues, childcare, etc etc.
Anon says
Let me clarify. You can be an ambitious person and be SAHM. I used to be ambitious about advancing in my career. Those things mean less to me, currently.
Anon says
A vent out to the void. Maybe I’m envious.
I have a couple of friends who have unicorn jobs that pay their market value (let’s say $150-200K in MCOL cities) but just don’t require the regular time commitment. Like these friends can work a few hours a day, and then spend the rest of their time working out, reading, doing all the various house management tasks to keep things running (e.g. grocery shopping, meal prep, etc.), and then have a flexible schedule with kids, where it’s simpler for them to get to appointments/activities, take and plan more long weekend/school holiday trips, etc. They also have a lot more time for hobbies and volunteering.
They aren’t “leaned out” because professionally/on paper everything looks great and they haven’t taken any pay cuts. When I was looking for jobs, I definitely was open to this situation, but didn’t find this unicorn situation. My household could afford for me to take a pay cut or work PT, but for many Reasons it’s not the right decision for me or the family unit.
Anyway, there’s no right/wrong here, and fundamentally I like my job and want/need to work, but just want to vent.
FP says
I have one of these jobs for most of the year but I will say I am “on” for 8 weeks a year and that is how my salary is justified ($150K in MCOL, Southeast). I am really present at my kids school, attend most things, and manage my household tasks well because I work from home. My 8 weeks of busy hours (5-6 days a week, usually 12 hour days three times a week) are probably not very visible to anyone because it’s in the summer when most people are vacationing / not around. All of this to say: there’s probably *some* amount of trade-off that these people have. It’s okay! Sometimes I am envious of my peers who have more regular summer hours but for right now, this is the combination that works for my family, financially and time-wise. Just know that there’s likely more to the story that you can’t see.
Anon says
That definitely seems like a unicorn situation to me. I have a similar work schedule, but it was an intentional trade-off and I make way less money than I could (~$50k). It works for our family because we live in a LCOL area and my husband earns more, so I mainly work to maintain some degree of financial independence and to have more spending money for luxuries. I don’t know anyone who works that little and makes anywhere near $200k, unless they work for themselves and charge a high rate for their hourly services.
anon says
I know many people actually. See my point below on if you were in a highly paid industry to begin with. In “big finance” most everyone makes $500k+ by 40, so a proportional paycut is still $$$ for working less. Definitely hard to find though and lucky when it works
Anon says
I’ll join you in this vent. I have to bill for my job (thankfully only in 30-min increments) and we’re expected to bill 8 hours each day. Slow days are the absolute worst. I’m so envious of my friends who have jobs where they can just lean out on a slow day and do a workout or something. I have to scramble and make up work to do. It’s extra annoying because most of our client contracts are fixed price anyway! We get the same amount no matter what I bill.
anon says
Companies like yours that essentially require inefficiency are the problem! I have a unicorn job like what OP described. I WFH, spend probably 3-5 hours a day doing actual work, and I make about 180k per year. Working remotely and largely on my own schedule has made me realize how much time “at work” is just unnecessary busy work.
Anonymous says
Ugh, I used to work at a place like that and the billing requirement was so limiting. We had a few hours here and there that we could bill to overhead accounts for non-project work but the system created very bad incentives.
Boston Legal Eagle says
I’m not sure if I fully have this unicorn situation, but I’ve risen enough in my job/career to a place where I can take time out of my day to do appointments and life management things and no one really tracks my time. Granted, there are weeks when I work some nights and occasional weekends, so I think it evens out. The nice thing about staying in the game when the kids are young is that you can (hopefully) be senior when they’re older and the logistics require more of your time.
My job at this company did NOT start out this way. I think it just turned into this due to management changes and me just sticking it out. But fully realize I am lucky.
OP says
I can do the same in my role (e.g. step out for an appointment, pick up a sick kid) – so no complaints there. My day-to-day isn’t like 2 hours of work so I can then workout, go get groceries, deal home with home maintenance, have lunch or coffee with a friend, etc. My friends have the latter as their baseline situation.
Anon says
I think that’s a very rare situation for people who aren’t self employed, and I suspect your friends are exaggerating how little they work or how much money they make or both.
Anonymous says
My husband’s former boss was like this except that he also took weeks at a time completely off (unlimited PTO) . There seem to be an awful lot of jobs out there that require little to no actual work. Just attend some meetings and approve some forms and send a bunch of e-mails.
Anonymous says
It always makes me angry when people post here on or on the main page about these kinds of jobs, like the people on last week’s post about how to fit in OT appointments who insisted that they could lean out to handle these things or watch TV during working hours without its affecting their careers. I make less than that with a ton of expertise and experience and have to work full time and be available for meetings during business hours and sometimes after business hours, and travel frequently.
I think the way jobs are valued is totally out of line with any economic reality and is the result of entrenched power dynamics. There is just no way that anyone who doesn’t actually work full-time is worth a full-time salary. There is no way that someone just coming out of law school is worth six figures. There is no way that junior people in big finance are worth six figures. And there is no way that I, with a law degree and another graduate degree and 15+ years of experience and a unicorn set of both technical and “soft” skills, add less value than all of these people and am worth less than a first-year big law associate.
anon says
I think we should be careful to equate “worth” with money. I think people have a choice when they pick professions and if you value money, pick professions in college that pay well. I valued money because I grew up lower middle class and chased professions that I knew paid $$$. Is there a huge element of luck, absolutely. Are 99% of white collar professions that pay 6 figures “worth” more than all the first responders, teachers, and many others who help the world?? No. Life is unfair though. There are also many people that make millions working less or getting luckier..
Anonymous says
When I say “worth” I do mean economic value added. I just don’t see how a first-year associate produces one-tenth as much as I do in terms of value added to the economy.
anon says
How much people get paid isnt about their value add to the economy, but I know that’s unfair.
Anonymous says
Not to get too sidetracked here, but biglaw starting salaries are that high to attract top candidates from good law schools, and to incentivize working tons of hours and being on call 24/7. Firms take a loss on 1st-2nd years in the hopes that they’ll stay and be valuable to the firm in years 3-6+.
Anonymous says
I think anger is a weird reaction here. I have one of these jobs and do feel very lucky and grateful. If you don’t feel you’re getting paid what you are worth you should look elsewhere, but I also don’t think having a bunch of degrees necessarily makes you worth more.
anon says
I have one of these unicorn jobs as well. A lot of it is also how much your industry pays too like even though I only work 25 hours a week, my pay is proportional to what a 40 something in “big finance” would make working 40+ hours, which is easily $500k+ relative to other fields.
Anon says
OP is talking about people who work 2 hours per day. 25 hours per week is a normal part time job, and a very different situation.
anon says
she said a few hours.. I read that to be like 3-7 hours 3-5x a week.
Anon says
At 10:28 she said 2 hours of work a day.
Anonymous says
This is so puzzling to me. We are constantly told that the reason for high salaries in certain industries is the expectation of constant availability and high hours.
anon says
Only in the early years of these industries. I think there is a significant responsibility/stress in these jobs, but by mid career people are not working that much more for how much more they get paid, speaking from personal experience and many people that we know.
Anon says
I have one of these unicorn jobs, and while I have had days where I’ve really only worked two hours… that’s not the norm. For me, that happened as I was training and also right before I was reassigned to a different business unit. (Our business is somewhat cyclical, so I was assigned to a busy unit, then it got less busy, then I was reassigned to a different unit.) Also, just because of the nature of my job, I sometimes reach a point where I can’t do anything because everyone I’m working with is on PTO, etc. and log off for the day.
I’m an in-house attorney at a large company. Our comp is slightly below market for an in-house job and is far below market for BigLaw. I’m not necessarily expected to work nights/weekends, but I am expected to get stuff done, and if that involves extra work, then it does. Job also requires quarterly to monthly travel.
unicorn says
I have a unicorn job but i had several years of putting in the time at work before I started to have that flexibility. Are you sure that isn’t the case for many of them? I think that’s maybe why you didn’t find it when looking – no one would have hired me for my current schedule and flexibility, but once I’d proven myself I was able to gradually work my way into it.
Anon says
I’m in a similar situation. Worked crazy hours for years. Got a pretty flexible WFH job now. I need to be “on” a few weeks a year when we’re pushing major projects. The rest of the time, I do my work but can squeeze in a workout, walk with the dog, meet a friend for coffee here and there, go to a medical appointment, etc. It’s a pretty good gig, but I worked hard to get here.
anon says
Same. I put in lots of hard work for this company to get to this point. We do releases about once a quarter where I’m doing 50+ hours for 2-3 weeks straight and my husband has to pick up more slack.
Outside of those weeks, I have a lot of flexibility.
OP says
Nope. One friend actually doesn’t like her employer/what they are about, but once she saw that this was the work/life balance she could have (roughly 3 years ago), she’s stuck with it. The other had a previous role with this flexibility, got laid off, and now found a similar role at another company which also has this flexibility.
Anon says
I have that kind of job, but I only make $55K.
Anon says
Vent away! It is incredibly frustrating. I will say, I have a job where I’m working fewer hours per day than standard in our industry (not 2/day though!) and while I still look good on paper and pay, it’s definitely hurting my career in subtle ways. My current job is secure, but I’m not as visible (both internally and externally) and have a solid not rockstar reputation. The trade off is worth it to me, but it’s there even if people on the outside can’t see it.
Anon says
I have one of those jobs and not to be all my diamond shoes are too tight, but it’s not all it’s cracked up to be. I mostly spend a lot of time feeling guilty about it and I’m still tied near my computer in case something comes in, so it’s not like truly free time. I’m not complaining but I do think there are some significant downsides.
Anon says
I am self-employed and have somewhat of this unicorn job (probably working about twice as much as you describe but also making 3x more and could easily cut the amount of work and pay if I wanted) and I think the downside is the time put in to get there (working for a decade of 60 hour weeks) and risk/stress (I am self-employed, things could have easily not worked out as well and there is no guarantee they will continue working). I do think these kind of jobs are rare in salaried positions, like no one is going to pay you if you are not working for it/they are not getting value from you?
Anonymous says
Last night my seven year old asked me how your kidneys work. We talked about it and googled some pictures, but I’d love to have a book of pictures he can peruse. Any recommendations? I didn’t take anatomy and physiology, but I was thinking something along those lines. I’d really like actual diagrams rather than a simplified explainer for little kids.
Anon says
I can’t remember the name, but the blog Hungry Runner Girl wrote about a book exactly like that that her kids loved. Maybe search her blog?
SC says
I’ll put in a plug for my favorite book about the human body, Human Body Theater: A Non-Fiction Revue. It’s a graphic “novel” where the “characters” put on a play about the human body, with each act/ chapter going through a different system, plus a long chapter at the end about our senses and sensory organs. I think we got this book when DS was around 6 or 7, and we’ve read it several times. It’s informative and engaging, with lots of pictures and some decent jokes. Some things went over DS’s head at 6-7, but he was fascinated anyways and absorbed a surprising amount of information.
OP says
He’s big into Dog Man, so I think he would love this! Thank you!
Anon says
Any suggestions for what to bring to a “homemade gifts only” party? The kids are turning 7, so they’re old enough to not be easily impressed but young enough that they can’t really make much besides a picture without adult help.
Also can I be a grinch about this for a minute? I think it’s rude to dictate what type of gifts people give you. If you absolutely can’t stand plastic toys, say “no gifts” and be done with it
Anonymous says
Kid-drawn card.
OP says
That’s what we bring to “no gifts” parties so it doesn’t seem like enough to me.
Anonymous says
My guess would be that the parents really want no gifts and have found that in the past people still brought gifts, so they are trying “homemade gifts” instead and would be very happy with a card. Because all of our houses are filled with our own kids’ craft projects already; who really, truly wants a whole bunch more?
Anonymous says
I would instacart craft kits from Michaels. They have stuff like paint your own birdhouse etc that can be used independently by a 7 yr old. Use it as an activity to keep your kids occupied one afternoon.
Other option is instacart a bunch of candy and some mason jars from the dollar store and make ‘ birthday candy salad’. They can paint balloons or the number 7 on the jars.
And completely co sign that this is the worst and most insane birthday gift thing I’ve heard of. I’ve done a fiver party when we had a whole class party after covid so that the twins had money to buy one gift each instead of like 60 new toys if everyone in their class brought a toy for each. But I would never do something that meant more work for the parents.
Anonymous says
Requesting homemade gifts only for 7 year olds sounds is SO obnoxious! Can you bake cookies or make candy? That is probably not what the parents have in mind, but I don’t think I would care, and the recipients would probably enjoy the treats. The only other things I can think of are bath fizzies or maybe printable madlibs/mazes/puzzles etc. Those poor kids are in for a lot of playdough.
Lily says
How about they decorate a mason jar with the kid’s name (puff paint?) and some sparkly/glittery decorations and you fill it with a favorite candy or snack? After they eat the candy they can use the mason jar as a desk accessory to hold pencils, markers etc.
Anonymous says
A card. A balloon. If it happens to be a kid who would enjoy it, a bracelet (my girls, 5-10, are all about the swiftie bracelets).
Anonymous says
The point is they are trying to make less work. have your kid make a card. If you feel like it, have kiddo pick a book from their collection and write a note in it and give that. If you happen to have a kid that owns and likes to do the craft kids (diy slime, bath bomb, etc) then sure- but that’s not what this mom wants!
I think you are overthinking what is probably a poorly worded “no gifts, please!!!” invite. Do not bake. Do not order craft kits. Do not look up anything on Pinterest. Have your kid draw a picture. Honestly!!
anon says
I’d grab something I have around and call it a kit. Seeds and a mason jar with soil? Print instructions and gift some paper for a simple origami animal? Use some fabric scraps to make an animal “scarf” or something? Birdfeeder craft (I keep seeing cute DIY ones where you just mix birdseed and PB and put it in something compostable??). Mix some whipped honey and put it in a jar. Add lavendar oil to some epson salt and put that in a jar. To me, this is free range to just NOT buy. Or to just make an extra of something you want to do with your own kid. Or just give $5 in a handmade card and say “we aren’t crafty, but Little One can pick out some craft supplies with this!” No gift is way easier though, I agree.
Anonymous says
No advice but this gift request is obnoxious.
anon says
I think this is annoying and virtue signaling. I would probably do a card + a drawing from my kid or have them glue popsicle sticks together with the kid’s name and call it a picture frame.
IF you want to do something I’ve seen people make cork-boards with the kid’s name on it as a good gift.
Anon says
This sounds so frustrating, this sounds like a time to make some banana bread (or something similarly easy) and call it a day.
On the flip side I now worry I am this type of parent. Being inundated with a bunch of new toys in our house stresses me out. For holidays and birthdays I’ve requested art supplies for my preschooler from family members and have not been disappointed yet. Having a surplus of extra colored pencils, coloring books, etc. is way easier for my brain to manage.
Anon says
Oh I think requesting art supplies from family members is totally fine. We do that too.
anon says
Agree this is fine with family members. IMO the line is with friend/school parties – you either accept any/all gifts OR do no gifts. That’s it. No direction/request on gifts for friend parties allowed, IMO.
OP says
I agree on there being a big difference between family and classmates. But I also don’t mind a suggestion of what the kid would like. Saying something like “Jamie likes legos and art supplies” on an invite might be a little tacky, but it isn’t a directive and at least people can choose to do something different without violating any instructions (also this might be just me but if I’m being instructed to give a specific gift I really want it to be something I can buy at Target 😂)
Anonymous says
A kid drawn card. This request is obnoxious.
Anon says
this is absurd. make a necklace? equally absurd is i have a friend who got two invites with for parties for two year olds from their kid’s preschool class which said how you could donate to the college fund…
Anonymous says
Paper airplane, friendship bracelet or necklace. Silly stick puppet. If you are feeling cruel, a balloon that you prestuff with confetti :)
Anonymous says
Glitter balloon with glitter inside and then also glued outside (homemade part) seems like the perfect answer to avoid this request ever recurring.
Anonymous says
My 9 year old has never wanted much of a birthday party – the last few years we just took a friend or two with us to do an activity. This year he does and we followed the school’s suggestion and invited the whole class (16 people) plus a couple other friends. We rented the community center basketball court per kid’s request and … now we realized we may need Activities- an hour of truly open gym may not be enough structure! Whoops! Kid is basketball obsessed and many of his friends are too, but there are also classmates coming who are not. Any favorite PE type games? Apparently “base-quet ball” is a game they enjoy, we could do a free throw contest, but a couple other suggestions would be helpful!!
anon says
We went to a 7-yr olds party where they hired a PE teacher/coach to lead some favorite PE games. He did everyone’s favorite PE games like 4 corners, sharks/minnows, etc… and even brought one of the beloved PE parachutes. It was an awesome party and wore the kids out. A parent could run these too, but having the “teacher voice” was helpful IMO
Anon says
+1
At my kids school you can have a gym party and they’re a big hit! They play the favorite gym / recess games and always bring out the parachute!
If not, ask your kid some of his favorite non-basketball gym or recess games and his favorite basketball drills.
Fun basketball games could be the layup, free throw, 3 point race, a dribbling relay race with obstacles, horse, or knockout. There’s also a fun drill where everyone dribbles a ball while trying to steal others’ balls at the same time. Last one standing wins.
If you want some less physical options, playing whisper down the lane is always fun!
Anonymous says
I like the basketball games idea. Maybe some kid of photo area where they can pretend to be really tall. Like a chair behind a basketball player cut out (looks like there are ones for ~$40 or you might be able to make one from cardboard. Big head cut outs seem to be in right now. You could probably make your own for your kid’s favorite basketball players.
Anonymous says
Thanks! My kid and his best friends are all on basketball teams and would love nothing more than an extra hour of practice, but I know some kids won’t be into that, so these are helpful ideas!
Breastmilk jewelry says
Have any of you had a piece of jewelry made using your breastmilk? How has it held up over time and would you recommend the company?
(If you’d asked me, pre-kids, if this was something I’d consider, I might have laughed. It would have been a hard “Good for you, not for me”. But recently weaned our 2nd and last baby, and I have a small amount of milk saved from both children, and I like the idea of preserving it forever).
Anonymous says
Following for recommendations. I was also lol no initially but now I’d like to have something small. I’m not going to advertise that’s what it is on social media but a subtle momento of a special time is nice.
Anon says
I’m a new mom and just got a targeted ad for Paume hand sanitizer on Insta. It sounds incredible, but I can’t justify the price (my husband was horrified lol). Wondering if a) anyone has tried Paume and thinks it’s worth it, or b) if anyone has a hand sanitizer rec that is somewhat moisturizing? Or at least doesn’t totally dry out the skin.
Anon says
Counterpoint – I’m a mom of two under 3, and I’ve never bought hand sanitizer. I just wash my hands when needed and remember that a little bit of germs is necessary to build immunity.
GCA says
I’m always slightly suspicious of posts phrased like this because the phrasing sounds like an astroturfed ad, but on the off chance that others are in the same situation, a $5 bottle of hand sanitizer plus a $5-$10 tube of hand cream (I like Aquaphor for thick goopy petroleum-based, shea butter for plant-based, and Cerave) will probably do the same job as a $50 bottle of hand sanitizer. Don’t let the motherhood-industrial complex play on your anxieties. :)
anon says
Mom of 3, 8 and under – not needed! By regular sanitizer if you must and a nice hand cream/lotion. I’ve only ever bought the purells the loop onto your bag for travel, we don’t use in day-to-day.
Anonymous says
Wash your hands over hand sanitizer when possible but I use purell aloe when I can’t.
Anon says
we had these bibs. i prefer the target all silicone version