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I was on Team Tote for years until my achy shoulders convinced me to switch to Team Backpack. I still prefer the look of a tote for work, though, and Tory Burch’s Robinson is as classic as you can get.
This spacious tote is made from durable Saffiano leather so it’ll resist the wear and tear of your daily commute. Inside the open top, there are multiple interior pockets, including ones for your phone and tablet or laptop. The handles are the perfect length — long enough to carry on your shoulder, but also short enough to carry in your hand. The two colors, black and “Cardamom” (a light tan), are as work-appropriate as you can get.
The Robinson is $348 at Nordstrom. Like the look, but need something smaller? Well, you’re in luck! The Robinson also comes in a smaller size for $298 in the same colors, plus “Gray Heron.”
Sales of note for 4.14.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – Mid-Season Sale: extra 40% off; extra 20% off sale styles; 40% off new spring styles
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything; extra 40% off purchase
- Eloquii – 50-60% off select styles; up to 40% off everything else
- J.Crew – 40% off dresses; 30% off your purchase
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Cyber Spring: 50% off everything & free shipping
- Nordstrom: Free 2-day shipping for a limited time; 30% off select shoes
- Talbots – BOGO 50% off everything, includes markdowns (ends 4/14)
- Zappos – 29,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Up to 70% off baby items; 50% off toddler & kid deals & 40% off everything else
- Hanna Andersson – Buy 3+ get 30% off forever favorites
- J.Crew Crewcuts – 30% off your purchase
- Old Navy – Up to 70% off clearance; sales on shorts and polos
- Target – Car Seat Trade-In Event; BOGO 25% off select skincare products; up to 40% off indoor furniture;
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
Anonanonanon says
This is cute. I’m somehow very rough on work bags. My Lo and Sons and my LODIS both only lasted a year before the handles were fraying. Lo and Sons replaced my bag when the first one happened but the second time I figured it was on me.
anon says
My black tote is more than 10 years old and fraying badly. It’s an old Kate Spade that is slightly bigger than this, which is nice because it fits my lunch and laptop. Does anyone have a recommendation for a similar black tote that is a bit bigger?
Anonymous says
Have you tried Cuyana? Those bags are indestructible.
Anonymous says
My previous tori burch tote (not this one) handles frayed almost immediately.
Shout out to kate spade tote purchased xmas 2019 – it basically looks new (I have been commuting ~3 days per week with even more stuff that usual as I now pack lunch as nothing is open nearby for less interactions). Best tote I have owned if you are ok with not having a lot of zip pockets (less ideal for say an overhead bin)
Anon says
Any tips for how to get a big smear of ointment off sheets? While I was in the shower at 5AM, my toddler woke up, found the Neosporin and got it all over.
Of course she did this in my bed. Where else would you sit to squeeze an entire tube of Neosporin on to your hands and then smear it all over your legs? Dawn? Do I go with Dawn?
Anon says
Dawn, wash in warm, do not dry, fels naptha, wash in warm, and then repeat until it’s gone (don’t put in the dryer until it’s gone so you don’t set it further).
Anon says
And in other fun morning events, our housekeepers are coming today, I’m presenting at a virtual conference later this morning, and DD informed me and DH that she wet our bed this morning. So now there is extra laundry to do (I would not expect our housekeeper to deal with changing waterproof covers and soiled sheets) and she and DH will be staying in (and banished upstairs) rather than going out during my presentation so he can keep the laundry going. Never a dull moment.
Anonymous says
I keep Dawn in my laundry area now. It’s my go-to on anything oily (which is also 90% of our food stains). I used to like amonia also in the laundry, but I can’t find it now since the pandemic.
Anonymous says
+1 for Dawn. Really rub it in to the fibers and do not put the item in the dryer until the stains are gone.
Anonymous says
This happened to me the other day with a coconut oil lotion (Bubbsi, bad idea to make their lotion look like a toy because my son loves playing with it!), and just washing in the washing machine with Tide worked great! I scooped off as much as I could before putting the sheets in the machine.
TheElms says
Related to this, does anything get Aquaphor stains out? I’ve tried Dawn, De-Solv-It, Shout, and Oxiclean. So far no luck. My toddler somehow covered the back of her brand new (first wearing) Hanna shirt in Aquaphor. Ugh. At least its on the back, I guess. She also got the walls … no luck getting that out either.
Anonymous says
Following… our walls are covered with Aquaphor handprints and I cannot get them off!!!
Anon says
Try Fels Naptha. I’ve never had anything that couldn’t come out with some of that.
Anon says
My favorite fashion blogger did a Unmask the Children post last night. Ugh. She is repeating a refrain I hear from many other moms I know – Covid is not dangerous for kids. Everything I’m reading says that children should continue to mask indoors until they can get a vaccine. Anecdotally, I have several friends and family who are in health care, and they agree. I know this is obtuse – but where are these people reading that it’s not dangerous? I am searching the internet, and nothing says that. Are they getting from wonky FB posts and things like that?
Anon says
I think they’re just looking at the stats that very, very few healthy children die. But we don’t know the long term effects of being infected with the virus. That’s what worries me much more than acute risks. Personally “unmask the kids” doesn’t bother me as much as “unmask the unvaccinated adults” given what we know about kid vs. adult spread. Half the adults in my state are unvaxxed and no one wears masks anymore, so we’re avoiding pretty much everything indoors until there are vaccines for kids. In some ways it feels worse than summer 2020 when I was comfortable taking my kid to the grocery store or a haircut because everyone was masked. It’s going to be a long summer and fall and I just hope vaccines for kids get here in time for cold weather because I can’t take another winter stuck at home.
Anonymous says
I mean, statistically I think there is strong evidence that children are unlikely to get severely ill from COVID-19; it is not dangerous for most kids. That doesn’t mean children never get severely ill, but they are much less likely than older adults to do so. This has not changed. But a large part of the reason for trying to keep kids from getting COVID is to keep the virus from circulating through kids to people of any age who WILL get severely ill for whatever reason. Reducing the number of infections also helps keep variants from developing and spreading. So masking isn’t just to protect kids, it is to protect the community. As more people who are vulnerable get vaccinated, I think this altruistic argument becomes harder for some to accept – the risk/benefit ratio to individuals and to the community is changing.
Anonymous says
Agreed. I’m not too worried about my son getting sick, but I am a little concerned about the virus circulating in children and potentially mutating into a dangerous variant. So we’ll keep masking at school (still required where we are) and in crowded areas, but we’re fine mask-free outdoors and with vaccinated friends and family.
Anon says
If it’s variants you’re concerned about, kids in the US aren’t the issue, it’s all the developing countries that don’t have vaccines where the virus is running wild. Especially in Africa with its very large HIV+ population. HIV and Covid is a scary combo as far as mutation, and infections in HIV+ people have led to some very significant mutations that so far haven’t spread widely, but it’s probably just a matter of time.
Anon says
Any news source you can point to for this? I have t heard anything about HIV increasing variants
Anon says
https://in.news.yahoo.com/woman-hiv-had-covid-19-101341897.html
Anon says
I’m not a conspiracy theorist by any means, but my view, sense, whatever from reading every COVID article I’ve seen over the last 18 months is that the risk to healthy, low risk children getting seriously ill is extremely low. Not zero, but very low. Higher now with the new variants, but still very low. So my unvaccinated preschooler wears a mask at school and a mask when going out in public (as required by our state) and we try to only eat outdoors when we take her with to restaurants, but now that DH and I and her grandparents and the parents of all her friends are fully vaxxed I let her play with her friends unmasked (and we try to keep it outdoors, but I am not losing sleep if she plays indoors now and then with a few friends). It helps that cases in our area are extremely low and something like close to 70% of adults have had their first shot. For us it is a balance of the risks between a typical childhood experience and the risk of getting sick (similar to our balance in a precovid world where we didn’t go to indoor play places in the winter due to norovirus).
Anon says
I’m more worried about the risks to kids than many other people (I’m the one above who says we won’t do anything indoors in public until there are jabs for little kids) but we gather indoors with fully vaxxed adults we know and their unvaxxed little kids. If parents are vaxxed the odds are very low a kid has Covid and even if they do a kid is unlikely to spread it to others. There was a big CDC study that masking kids in school made no difference to spread. Masking adults had a significant impact though.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Is it to specifically allow kids to go unmasked or to generally open up schools and activities more? Because from what I’ve seen in kids (including my own 5 year old), these kids will wear masks just fine, especially if they see all their friends wearing them. So it’s not really that big of a hinderance that some adults seem to think it is. When it comes to schools and activities, I do think they should be back to full time in person, especially the younger grades, and activities, particularly outdoor ones, seem pretty safe.
AwayEmily says
Yeah…while I am not yet at that point, I don’t think it’s irresponsible (depending of course on your risk factors and community spread) to let your kid go unmasked indoors sometimes, but I also don’t understand the urge to make everyone ELSE’S kids do the same. Like you said, many kids legitimately don’t care either way, and in that case why not let them wear a mask. At this point I don’t make my kids wear masks on the playground unless they want to, but some parents do! And that’s fine! I think we’re at a point where there are a range of reasonable choices and those are going to look different for different people.
Anon says
i personally think it is kind of irresponsible/doesn’t totally make sense to me when I see a parent in a store with a mask, but the kid who is well over the age of 2, is not wearing one. i suppose that is better than places, like our Children’s Museum that just reopened, where everyone not vaccinated must wear a mask, so basically all kids age 2-11 will be in masks, and then the adults can be without masks – which i guess i understand from a health perspective, and i know that there are many situations in life in which there are different rules for kids/adults, but if adults could’ve just kept their masks on for the past year+ maybe kids wouldn’t have lost out on so much
Anon says
“if adults could’ve just kept their masks on for the past year+ maybe kids wouldn’t have lost out on so much”
THIS. I don’t think I will ever get over my anger at this. And now these unvaccinated adults want to rip off their masks because “we need to give the kids a sense of normalcy!!!!” Normalcy would have been school and friends and activities for the last year and a half, not taking off the masks which most kids don’t even care about.
Anonymous says
Exactly. If adults could have kept their effing masks on, then we would be in a much better place.
I also think masking should be no big sacrifice for adults or kids. Let’s focus on getting schools safely reopened. WITH MASKS. I am typing this from my office, where I am working for the first time in 15 months, wearing a mask.
Anon says
At least in my red state people are OBSESSED with getting rid of masks, but seem way more sanguine about the distancing, cohorting and general lack of fun, optional activities and in my view those things are so much more disruptive to normal life. Like I don’t care if my kid wears a mask at school forever but I will be really sad if she never goes on a field trip or I never get to go in and read to her class. And of course the two week quarantines are extremely disruptive for working parents. I’d wear masks forever to avoid even the occasional two week period with no childcare.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Yes – it’s not the masks that are affecting the kids’ social emotional development – I would much rather they wear masks and continue to be in school and get to see their friends in normal ways than have to deal with another year of remote learning. And while we will probably still wear masks if we take our kids indoors to model, since our older one is required to keep wearing a mask indoors as he’s not vaxxed, I’m honestly not sure if he would care if we didn’t and he and the other kids are the only ones in masks. We’ve explained that we got shots to prevent the virus, and his turn is coming soon, but for now, mask.
OP says
It has occurred to me a couple times that the same folks who go on and one about participation trophies and safe spaces are also the ones who are belly aching about masks. My kids are fine with masks too. I explained that sometimes you have to make small sacrifices for the greater good, and we haven’t had many conversations about it since. We’ve just gotten on with it. I’m proud of their resilience. We would have totally lost WWII with this set of Americans because they can’t make the smallest sacrifice without moaning about it.
Anonymous says
Eh, I am against participation trophies because I have sat through way too many of those endless awards ceremonies and had to toss too many of those things out, but 100% pro-vax, pro-mask, etc.
Anonymous says
There’s some new evidence suggesting that mask usage does delay speech development, which is a concern for me, given my kids’ ages. I’ve been quite conservative this whole pandemic, but I am really ready for kids learning how to talk to be able to ditch their masks.
Anonymous says
Anecdotally – my 22 month old is slow to talk. Since the mask mandate was removed 3 weeks ago and he’s actually been able to see anyone’s mouth but me DH and his sister, his language was exploded. DD is speech delayed and being evaluated…guess what? Her speech has improved remarkably in the last 3-4 weeks. It could be time but I think not. We live in MD so 70% adults vaccinated and teens are getting vaxxed quickly. There were 5 cases in my county the other day. FIVE!! The chance of my children being in close contact with one of those 5 people and getting severely ill is close to zero. DD does not wear a mask at preschool and I’m not masking them at playgrounds when it’s 90 degrees and humid. And frankly even for older kids it is not normal, in terms of human behavior, to not see other peoples full facial expressions for well over a year. To not see smiles!! So no, my kids are not wearing masks anymore unless required.
Anon says
If that’s true, I’m sure it would quickly self-correct once masks are gone. If there’s no underlying issue, a child will catch up to a normal timeline quickly once the impediment is gone. My 3 year old’s grammar and vocab are fine but her enunciation could be better and I suspect masks may be a factor (adults and kids are all masked at her preschool), but it doesn’t worry me at all. I very much want everyone at her school to remain masked until she can get vaccinated, although I would live with them allowing kids to go maskless. I would flip if they allow unvaccinated staff to work without masks before kids can get the vaccine.
Anonymous says
Unfortunately that’s now how speech delays work. If the gap between a child’s understanding and their language gets too large, it can cause a lot of potential problems, like stuttering. So “catching up” is potentially really complicated.
Anonymous says
Blind kids learn to talk just fine, don’t they?
Anon says
I’m just quoting what my ped said, although that was specifically for enunciation, which is my daughter’s (possible) issue. Perhaps it’s different if the child is having trouble speaking at all. But I agree with the person above that blind kids learn to talk fine, so I don’t believe face coverings are a serious impediment to learning expressive language. My ped supports masks for kids and agreed that schools should keep mask requirements in place until children of all ages can be vaccinated. Fwiw, 22 months is a pretty common age for a language explosion, pandemic or no.
Anon says
You know, I was curious about blind children so I attempted to look it up. My rudimentary googling tells me that some children with severe impairments do have delays in learning speech and there are different types of speech therapies available that can help. I don’t really understand what the ultimate impact is though, whether they catch up or if it causes later issues. Some of the studies seemed small but perhaps there are better ones out there.
OP says
Yeah, that’s a good point. I was thinking more of school aged kids, but I can see the concern for younger children who are learning how to talk.
OP says
Ah, ok, these are all very sensible replies, and I think I understand their position better.
Anonanonanon says
I think you’re lost. This is the internet, you’re supposed to be incredibly rude to everyone, double down, and not be open to changing your mind!
(kidding, seeing your reply was wonderfully refreshing this AM)
Anon says
Why don’t you look at the CDC’s own data on this. You can find total number of deaths by age group (very low for those ages 1-4 and 5-17; slightly higher for <1); percentage of deaths that are COVID (again, low); and chances of death compared to other age groups (freakishly, weirdly low – like 1/10,000th of the chance of an elderly person dying from it).
Anon says
https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/nvss/vsrr/covid_weekly/index.htm#SexAndAge
Among those 85 and over, 174,000 people have died from COVID, which is 12% of all deaths among that age group. Among those 17 and under, 309 deaths are COVID-related, which is 0.68% of the 45,513 deaths in that age group. In fact, about twice as many children die from heart disease as from COVID.
Anon says
I don’t think anyone is really disputing that it’s unlikely for (healthy) children to die from Covid. But there are a lot of reasons to be concerned about this virus besides death.
Anonymous says
Yeh, like restrictions ruining kids lives for a year ( if not longer). The suicide attempts from young teens and even children has skyrocketed this year.
Anon says
Right, which is all the more reason to wear masks. Masks allow us to safely reopen schools and activities, which I agree are very important for kids’ mental health and development. I’ve had my kid in in-person school this whole time, so I obviously don’t think the virus is so dangerous to kids that they need to be isolated forever, but masks are such a trivial thing to do I don’t know why you’d hasten to give them up when vaccines for kids are likely just a few months away. Frankly, I think we should have implemented masks in certain situations to prevent deaths from other infectious diseases. One child died of flu this year. ONE. Versus the normal ~200. I’d gladly wear a piece of cloth on my face in crowded indoor settings for a few months of the year to save the lives of a couple hundred kids every year. I’m kind of shocked other people don’t feel the same way.
Anon says
That’s surprising to me since normally suicide rates among minors plummet during school vacations.
Anonymous says
@2:09, I’m sorry, maybe I misunderstood… Did you just say the last year and a half of pandemic shutdowns was analogous to a school vacation?
To be clear, it was not. Vacation is unstructured time to relax, hang out with your friends, and have less pressure and more time to do stuff you enjoy. School closures for covid were accompanied by simultaneous loss of any non-school activities and isolation from peers. And then virtual school piled back all the stress (and then some) and none of the releases, or at best virtual shadows of activities.
Anonymous says
Death is not the only outcome to worry about. Long COVID is much more worrisome since it appears to be much more common. Why don’t we want to protect our children against lifelong disability by having them wear masks for a few more months? It is such a small cost for an enormous potential benefit.
Preventing the development of variants is another reason to keep masking children until community spread is extremely low.
Anon says
Yeah but if your kid needs intensive care or a venitlator, that’s a pretty serious outcome that should be avoided at all costs.
CPA Lady says
Coming to you live from a red state to explain this whole thing!
So, basically when they are saying “not dangerous” they mean “everything seems fine so far for the vast majority of kids over the last year and a half”. Which they can say from experience, because the majority of kids in this neck of the woods have been playing unmasked and have been in school full time in person either this whole time or for months and months at this point. Mask compliance in school has been questionable.
In addition, where I live at least, the mask mandate has been lifted entirely for a couple of months, literally no one is wearing a mask anymore even in places where they are “required”, and cases are still extremely low (thanks, vaccines!).
Do I agree with unmasking the children? No, but I understand why these people think unmasking kids is safe enough. That said, the pediatric vaccine can not get here soon enough, and I will breathe a massive sigh of relief once it’s in my kid’s arm.
Anonymous says
So interesting. Coming to you all from deep in the heart of Massachusetts, home of the We Love Masks coalition. Like literally until just a few weeks ago everyone was wearing masks outside when nobody was around regardless of vaccination status.
Even here, kids <11 are unmasked outside. The elem/middle school kids are still in school, and there they wear masks indoors (where it is air conditioned). Outside, masks are off. In most stores, masks are "optional but highly recommended for unvaccinated persons." There are some that are "masks required for entry" and others that require all unvaccinated persons to wear a mask. At our pool club, for example, masks are advised for everyone, required for unvaccinated 12 and older and all children <12 indoors. Outside, no masks required.
For us, we have been having the kids wear masks inside everywhere regardless of the policy because it's simply easier as a rule: "inside, masks on if you haven't had your shot. Outside, masks can be off." Frankly, our town hasn't had a COVID case in 2 months now; our elem kids are pool tested 2x/week and there has not been a case picked up in pool testing (across all 5 elem schools) since Feb. I'm fine with our kids going maskless indoors from a risk standpoint. But I am in the minority and I am also CERTAINLY ready to do whatever makes our friends and family comfortable.
Anonymous says
I wore my mask all over Boston in the super cold rain Memorial Day weekend because it kept my face warm from the brutal wind!
Anon says
My husband has decided he’s going to wear masks permanently for winter dog-walking because he likes the extra warmth and he isn’t a scarf guy.
EDAnon says
I plan to wear mine for winter bike riding. Better than a scarf or balaclava!
Botox in Philly says
Moved to Philly and looking for a good place for Botox (or the equivalent) in Philly. Center City preferred but willing to drive for a great place.
I was getting injections in my previous city which worked really well but at the clinic I tried here somehow the injections didn’t work and cost twice as much!
TIA
Philly Anon says
Welcome! I moved here in Jan 2020, so still getting to know the city. But I did see Dr. Lee in Bryn Mawr and he’s very good.
anon says
We live in the SEUS and my toddler seems to be getting heat rash on his chest and back this summer. Other than loose clothing, what can I do to prevent and treat this? I don’t really want to rub hydrocortisone all over his body but I feel bad that he’s so itchy. We do a very quick nightly bath that is usually pretty necessary–he gets pretty icky after a day of play in the summer, so I don’t really want to give that up.
Anonanonanon says
Sorry if this is not helpful, but having grown up in the SEUS and being rash-prone, I don’t know that there is much you can do. I think some kids just have it. My mom kept our baths cool in the summer and we made sure to completely dry before getting dressed in loose PJs (she’s a pediatric nurse so probably somewhat on the right track?) but other than that I’m not sure what you can do. I do remember being in a damp swimsuit playing outside always made it worse, I needed to promptly completely dry and change into dry loose clothes afterward if we were playing with water outside.
Sorry if that’s not helpful, just sharing from the rashy kid perspective!
Anonymous says
Definitely don’t stop the baths!! Cool bath nightly, loose cotton clothing, and take it seriously. Most Americans don’t! My mother was Australian and we went to playgrounds early or late, always had hats, stayed in the shade. Your dude might need to not be running around outside all day.
Anon says
Heat rash and sunburn are not the same thing. The hottest time of day in my area is late afternoon/early evening when the sun is not very intense. He should definitely wear a hat, etc. for sun safety but it won’t do anything for heat rash. If anything, wearing more clothing will contribute to it.
Anonymous says
No of course not but being in the sun usually corelates with being hot. Also I did not suggest wearing more clothing just lose cotton clothes.
Anon says
I was just confused by “My mother was Australian and we went to playgrounds early or late, always had hats, stayed in the shade.” These are excellent ways to avoid sun damage, but not heat rash.
Anonymous says
Well they worked great for me in avoiding heat rash!
anne-on says
Ask a pediatrician, but if it is really bothering him maybe a daily allergy pill might help with the itchies? Otherwise, loose breathable clothing, cool (and FAST) baths or showers, and sleeping with A/C or fans on. I feel his pain as an adult with extremely sensitive skin who is currently fighting a rash on my upper thigh that just does not want to heal from ONE class with workout shorts that chaffed. Ugh.
Anonymous says
Our air conditioning is broken, and I haven’t been able to schedule a technician to come out yet. We’ve got some ceiling fans and I ordered a room fan, but how do I know if my toddler is too hot? It was 78 degrees in his room last night, which I don’t think was too bad, but it will probably be hotter tonight. He slept fine, if a little sweaty.
AwayEmily says
We lived without air conditioning (northeast city) for the first 5 years of my kids’ lives, and their rooms would get up to the high 80s at least five or six times during the summer. Our pediatrician said it was NBD, just make sure they were well-hydrated and put a fan in their for air circulation. The kids never seemed to mind. I think high temps bother adults a lot more than kids.
Anon says
I wouldn’t worry about it, especially since he’s not a baby. If he’s too hot, he’ll cry and you’ll know. Fwiw, our AC works fine and our toddler’s room is around 76-77 (we set our thermostat on 72 but our bedrooms are upstairs and get quite a bit warmer). She sometimes sleeps in long-sleeved PJs and is fine, even when we forget to turn on her ceiling fan. With ceiling fans and sleeping in just a diaper, I would guess she’d be comfortable up to at least 85 or so. My experience is that kids are much less sensitive to extreme temps (in both directions) than adults are.
Anonymous says
He’s fine. Don’t swelter him in swaddles and warm pajamas. A/C is a modern luxury
Spirograph says
You’ll know he’s too hot when he complains about it and can’t sleep. My kids’ room can get a little toasty by evening when we don’t have AC on, but windows open + ceiling fans + oscillating fans blowing on their beds is usually sufficient. If not, they do not hesitate to let me know it’s too hot.
Anon. says
Unless you have a magical unicorn toddler who stares calmly at the ceiling when uncomfortable, he will let you know if he can’t sleep. I’d just dress him a bit lighter than usual and pray for quick fix on the AC.
Anon says
“Unless you have a magical unicorn toddler who stares calmly at the ceiling when uncomfortable, he will let you know if he can’t sleep.” Hahaha, this.
anon says
We have AC but it’s not terribly efficient on the top floor and we don’t turn it up very high, so my kids bedroom is regularly 80 or above and it’s fine. We put them in short pjs with just a sheet and run the ceiling fan or a more powerful floor fan (Vornado) on really hot nights.
Anon says
This. Thanks 80s build with a terrible duct system that can’t easily be reconfigured for dual systems. I was nearly melting when it was 77 in our room last night (the master is of course the warmest room upstairs) while it was 70 downstairs where the thermostat is, but after only a nightgown and laying under a full blast ceiling fan with no covers for 30 minutes, I finally cooled down enough to go to sleep. 90s, humid and sunny means our upstairs just bakes, hoping for some storms to cool things off today, or at least provide some cloud cover. DD was just fine.
Anon says
You may have done this already but make sure you set your furnace fan to “always on” rather than auto. It’ll help the upstair a little. We also close our downstairs vents.
NYCer says
I would not worry at all. We have AC, but never sleep with it turned on. My daughters’ rooms are frequently in the 78-80 range when they wake up, and everyone is fine.
Heck, in the winter it is sometimes even hotter because the heat in our building is so strong. (steam heat, we have no control over it).
Anonymous says
This is seriously one reason I will never live in NYC. I can’t sleep if it’s over 68 degrees in winter. 65 is better.
NYCer says
Ha! That is totally fair. I really do not think our apartment has EVER been 65 degrees. :)
Anon says
My downstairs thermostat read 87 when we went to bed a couple nights ago and my kids slept better than ever (olders slept through the night! Baby slept 6 hours!)
We do have window fans that pull in the slightly cooler air and keep things circulating so I was not concerned about safety. In fact, my husband and I prefer fans to AC units and sleep with a window fan all summer long – maybe you can try one for now. Also, I just learned about cooling fans that use ice cubes and ice packs to cool down rooms and they sound intriguing .
So ready to move says
Anyone want to help me find a new city to live in? We currently live in a very hot red state in a MCOL with two small children. DH and I plan to move within the next few years, and the DMV (ideally, MoCo) is high on my list, but DH would prefer a place that isn’t quite so expensive. Here’s our criteria:
– blue state
– 4 seasons (but preferably no bitterly cold winters)
– diverse
– decent public schools
– east coast
– good job markets for in-house legal and tech
Any ideas?
Boston Legal Eagle says
While I love my state and it fits some of your criteria, it doesn’t fit all – namely, no bitterly cold winters (we have those although you get used to it), diverse (debatable, but I previously lived in CA and MA is less diverse) and not expensive (ha! HCOL here). I think you may find what you’re looking for in parts of North Carolina – milder seasons, lots of tech in the Triangle I believe and I think less expensive than a Boston or a DC.
Anon says
yea I was also thinking NC, though obviously not a blue state. PA is sometimes a blue state, and with your votes maybe could stay blue and many parts of PA are very blue. and the Philly area is less expensive than the DC area
Anonanonanon says
I was going to suggest Raleigh. I’m in the DMV and people seem to be relocating there.
anon says
What about PG? Has all the benefits of MoCo since it’s the same location, but is more diverse and cheaper housing stock.
Anonymous says
This. I live in Silver Spring not far from the PG line and love it. Aside from being slightly closer around the beltway to the NoVA tech corridor, MoCo doesn’t have an edge on PG for any of your criteria, and PG is more affordable on average. Schools are hyper-local. There are great schools and so-so schools in MoCo, and I’m sure that’s the same in PG. PG and MoCo are both majority-minority, but whites are a plurality in MoCo, while PG has a Black majority. I think I heard at some point that PG has the highest average household income in the US for a majority-Black country? So if it’s important to you that your kids see lots of “successful” professionals who are not white, PG is a great place to look.
Anonymous says
Also look at Howard, Baltimore, and Anne Arundel counties for near MoCo and decent schools but not as expensive. They should fit all your criteria depending on commute tolerance.
Anon says
I’m not sure about job market in legal and tech, but I’ve always thought it would be great to live in Charlottesville, VA. Mild weather, cute college town, reasonably diverse because of the university and within easy driving distance of a bigger city (Richmond), great schools, far enough away from DC that cost of living is a lot saner but close enough that you can go for the weekend to take advantage of all the museums and stuff. Otherwise I agree about NC, not a solidly blue state but they do have a Democratic governor currently and the Raleigh area especially is pretty liberal and has a lot of tech. I did a summer internship there in grad school and really liked the area. My friends from the Bay Area in tech who want to move away for lower cost of living are primarily looking at Austin, Atlanta and Raleigh, with Raleigh being their top choice right now.
AwayEmily says
I’d encourage you to think of what you want out of “a blue state.” There are deep red towns in New York State, and deep blue towns in Texas. Is it that you want to live in a state that will generally be run by a Democratic legislature, or that you want to live in a city with politically like-minded people, or both? (fwiw I think either are reasonable desires — but figuring out what your priorities are might widen your choices a bit).
Anon says
+1 and if you want the state legislature to be reliably blue and on the east coast, you’re pretty much limited to the northeast, which has harsh winters. So I think it will be kind of hard to perfectly check all these boxes.
NYCer says
I would likely pick Charlotte metro area or Raleigh even though NC isn’t a blue state.
octagon says
If you consider PA to be blue, then the Philly suburbs could work. Depending on your cold tolerance, I think the Pittsburgh suburbs could work as well.
Or Virginia — Richmond is an option (the housing market there is going bananas though with all the DC transplants). Or just further out in the DC suburbs, like Loudoun County or Annapolis.
Mary Moo Cow says
I’m in the Richmond metro area and very happy here. I’ve been here since 2006, so I’ve seen changing demographics. Summers are hot, but I moved here from the Deep South, so it is refreshing to actually have 4 seasons and summers don’t feel unbearable. We don’t get snow every winter, and it is enough of a novelty to shut down schools, work, etc. and have fun snow days. Richmond feels like an overgrown small town in a good way: amenities of a city, like a train station, a minor league baseball team, amazing art museum and botanical gardens, parks system along the river, but the surrounding suburbs offer a pretty mild commute and are small enough that you get to know neighbors and quickly find people who know people you know. Short drive to the mountains and the beach. We’ve got a major Capital One outpost, several Fortune 500 companies, and the government seat, so good opportunity for tech and legal jobs. Lots of people hype Charlottesville, but I prefer Richmond.
Anonymous says
Also in RVA! I am from SoCal via the northeast and living here is just so easy. We have so much more access to the arts and culture than we did when we had to schlep in to the big city in the northeast. I do regret our choice of counties because of some school issues that have cropped up over the past year, some directly related to the pandemic and others that were brewing before the pandemic. For Reasons it’s really too late to switch now, though.
Philly Anon says
We recently moved from DC to Philly and I think it ticks a lot of your boxes. Much more affordable!
Anonymous says
The DMV is hot and swampy.
Anonymous says
Truth.
GCA says
Everything on the coast is going to be somewhat higher COL, but what about the Research Triangle region in NC (blueish patch in swing-ish red state) or the greater Philly/ NJ area?
Anon says
Philly/NJ like others said, but also check out north Jersey. There are a lot of places to work that are not in NYC so they’re cheaper.
Patricia Gardiner says
Baltimore area! Very blue, 4 seasons, mild winters, diverse… the Baltimore city public schools are variable to poor, but surrounding counties have good schools.
Redux says
What do you look for in a children’s dentist? We recently changed insurances and our old practice does not accept our new insurance. There are dozens of small practices in-network in my area (which is great!) but I can’t really differentiate between them by their websites… We have a couple personal recommendations, which is where I will start, but– how do you differentiate between practices? Are there technical differences (e.g., should I be making sure they use digital xrays rather than traditional, or other things like that)? Or is it more about “fit?”
Boston Legal Eagle says
For me, it’s been about fit. We’ve had two dentists for the kids so far and I like our current a lot more for a lot of the reasons I like our pediatrician – he’s generally more “chill” about some habits like thumb sucking and he’s good at making kids feel comfortable. Our previous one was a little more dogmatic about stopping thumb sucking after age 2, which may be the official recommendation but didn’t work for us. Our current one does a good job at easing kids into the cleaning and generally making it a “fun” place to go with prizes and whatnot. Our practice also has an orthodontist section, which I like as I’m guessing my kids will need it and it’ll be nice to go to the same place.
Anon says
The main thing I want in a dentist, for me or kids, is a “low-intervention” dentist. There seem to be a lot of dentists out there who are, to put it politely, extremely pushy about interventions. I and many other people I know have had experiences going to a dentist who tells you that you have 10 cavities that need filling immediately or you need a deep scaling procedure or something like that, and then you get a second opinion and the second dentist says nah everything is fine, you just need a regular cleaning. So it’s really important to me to find a dentist who has a reputation for being cautious about drilling into people’s mouths. Otherwise, yeah, I think fit and bedside manner and stuff like that. Our pediatric dentist tries to brush and clean their teeth, but only does as much as the kid will tolerate. If they’re getting upset he stops, which I like since I believe establishing a positive association with the dentist is much more important to lifelong dental health than getting your baby teeth scraped immaculately every six months. Fwiw, he doesn’t routinely do x-rays in little kids. He says they’re not necessary for little kids in the absence of some particular issue, and I doubt my kid could sit still for the required length of time anyway.
Anon says
There are some technical differences. My dentist for example has the fastest, easiest x-rays (I just stay in the chair and they take 10 seconds; no awkwardly going into another room), and they also have a device they stick in your mouth that photographs the teeth from all angles and produces a 3d model so they can actually show you what they’re talking about.
Some dentists are also really progressive on sensory issues. Even if you/your kids aren’t autistic, finding the dentist who specifically accommodates sensory defensive patients means that they have everything on hand to make things more comfortable. My dentist can turn off all the lights and use a headlamp for light sensitive patients, provide a weighted blanket for anxious patients, any flavor (or flavorless!) toothpaste, and is just generally very aware of pain and discomfort compared to other dentists I’ve had. I thought I was perfectly fine with old school dentistry but don’t want to go back now; it honestly feels almost like “luxe” dentistry but doesn’t cost me any more than a bare bones office would.
anon says
We bring our own toothpaste, because apparently my kids have OPINIONS.
SC says
I looked for a practice that accepted our insurance. There’s one in my area. That’s where we go. My husband takes Kiddo to the dentist, but he seems reasonably happy with the office, and Kiddo doesn’t seem traumatized about the dentist.
Spirograph says
Similar. We don’t have dental insurance, so I just checked my neighborhood listserv for recs and found one that was convenient. I didn’t have specific criteria, but here are the things I like about our pediatric dentist:
1. She has a great bedside manner with the kids and doesn’t talk down to me
2. Bright, clean practice with colorful, kid-friendly decorations
3. Good waiting room
4. TV’s on the ceiling over the exam chairs (really help the kids cooperate)
5. One exam room has 2 exam chairs and a comfy bench where parent & siblings can sit, and am able to schedule all three kids for simultaneous/back-to-back appts
The hygienists/techs are unremarkable one way or the other, and neutral is good enough for me. For preschool and younger, the dentist does the cleaning, herself.
Anonymous says
My husband and I both generally are not prone to cavities, so we’re not very picky. There is a general (not pediatric) dentist in our apartment building. We heard he was pretty good with kids so tried it out when our son was 3. He was fine, so we’ve just stuck with him. If we needed a cavity filled or something i would shop around. He’s definitely low intervention, which i like, and deals with our somewhat niche insurance.
EDAnon says
I think it’s fit. We went to a pediatric dentist that was all intense (loads of screens, shared treatment area) which was overwhelming to my little kid. We went to my (old) dentist (who sees kids kinda but is mostly for adults – we wouldn’t have gone except my son had an injury), and then we went to a family dentist. Right now, we are sticking with the family dentist because he is calm and good with kids. I don’t love him (he’s too hippie/touchy-feely for me). But he does well with the kids. Also, he is very close to my house and daycare which is a huge plus.
Flying Mom says
Tips for flying with a 1 year old? I flew alone with her three months ago (she was 9 months) and it was doable – she had her own seat, slept at take off in her car seat, and then we alternated between snacks and activities for the rest of the 3.5 hour flight. That was our first flight to meet her grandparents. We are now flying later this month to see my parents again and this time will be a 2.5 hour flight but she has become so much more active and I am NERVOUS. My husband is coming too and she won’t have her own seat because the flight prices were absolutely ridiculous. I have some puffy kling stickers, dimpl toy and busy book that will be new to her that I am hoping will help but any other tips? She is new to throwing crying fits when she doesn’t get her way and I haven’t really dealt with it in public yet, much less in a small enclosed space with others.
anon says
A roll of blue tape, snacks, lollipops (sugar free?) or gummies or some kind of treat that would be extra appealing to her. Wrap all the toys (unwrapping is part of the fun). Bring extra diapers. A water bottle or some kind of drink just in case you’re stuck on the tarmac.
Anon says
If she cries, she cries. It really bothers me when people act like children need to be in some kind of cone of silence on a plane. Yes, parents should make an effort to engage their kids and keep them happy and should obviously not ignore a crying baby. But babies and toddlers cry so don’t beat yourself up if she throws a tantrum. With kids that age the tantrums are usually super brief anyway. My daughter developed RSV on our last real vacation before Covid and the flight home was h3ll. She bursting into sobs every time she coughed and everybody on that plane hated us. In hindsight, she should have had a mask on, but masks weren’t on anyone’s radar back then, and I still feel like that’s the only thing we did “wrong” – there was just nothing we could do to stop the crying.
Anonymous says
From a frequent business traveler, amen. When I hear a baby crying on a plane I feel sorry for the parents, who I imagine are frantically trying to shush the baby and worrying that everyone around them is angry. The only parents I have ever blamed for kid noise were the ones who constantly tickled their preschooler until he screamed throughout the flight. In that case I felt sorry for the kid.
Anonymous says
+1
In my case it was the parents who put on noise cancelling headphones and a movie as soon as they got on and ignored their incredibly annoying (in fairness – looking for attention) for 5 hours while the two kids literally hung off the back of my seat / did leg presses etc. I was praying for turbulence so the flight attendant would make them put their seatbelts on. The worst part…. the dad (across the aisle) was super senior in my firm at the time although a different office and was like…. “oh didn’t see you there – have you me my AMAZING kids” at the end of the flight.
Anon says
Yeah, my family went to Japan when I was in high school and there was a baby who cried for the entire 13 hour flight and the mom was sleeping or trying to sleep and completely ignoring the kid. At one point a flight attendant walked the kid up and down the aisle, and I remember other passengers helping too. Everyone on that plane was justifiably annoyed at the mom. But normally I feel nothing but sympathy for parents with crying children.
Anon says
Would you travel internationally with kids right now? My husband has a work trip to Europe this month that was supposed to be a family trip, then we assumed kid and I couldn’t go, then today the country announced that fully vaccinated Americans and their minor children are permitted to go for tourism, so now the option is back on the table. We have lots of domestic airplane travel planned for this summer (so long as they don’t lift the airplane mask mandate) and on this flight virtually all the adult passengers would be vaccinated, so it’s probably actually safer than a domestic plane flight, but for some reason it makes me more nervous. The infection rates are higher and vaccination rates lower there than here, so even being cautious and doing stuff outdoors I’m not sure it’s a risk we should be taking right now. We also have to get Covid tests to come home and I’ve never tested my preschooler and am anxious about how that would go (although who knows when this requirement will be lifted and we’re not going to abstain from travel forever, so we’ll likely face this issue at some point). It’s in like 2 weeks so we have to figure it out ASAP.
Anonymous says
My own comfort level with my unvaccinated kids means no planes – some family have recently had flight experiences with a lot of unmasked people. My almost 3 year old is good at masking but not reliably so for a whole multi hour flight. I’m also definitely still worried about other countries changing the rules while I’m there and getting myself stuck somewhere (as has happened to some friends of ours this year).
Anonymous says
Personally, no, although I’m also a no for taking domestic flights with unvaccinated preschoolers. I’m waiting until they’re vaxxed for flights although for me it’s also the odds they will pick up an everyday bug and be out of daycare until cleared (our center is fairly strict about excluding kids with any symptom, including runny noses).
I have gotten 2/3 kids tested at least once (I think our baby is at three tests), and it was not a big deal at all. 30s to a couple minutes of crying.
Anonymous says
Definitely make sure you understand the fine print on testing, if you do go. We’re traveling to the UK this summer and the requirements are kind of insane. You have to get tested before your flights, and you separately have to get day 2 and day 8 tests for your UK quarantine. We’re going for barely a week, which means that we’re going to be paying for four tests per person, plus a possible fifth test on day 5 if we want to get out of quarantine early. On top of all that, a lot of places don’t test kids under a certain age. And the airlines have different paperwork requirements for the testing than the quarantine officials. Plus, the rules could change at any moment! As you can probably tell, I’m thrilled about the whole thing.
Anonymous says
No.
EDAnon says
It is such an amazing opportunity. How old are your kids? I would probably skip if it’s for fun and definitely if it’s something that will likely recur. I would check out the requirements in the country and try to determine how much you’d enjoy being outside/near unvaccinated people for that long. I think I would be too stressed to enjoy it.
Anon says
I have a comment in m 0 d but would you travel internationally with kids now? DH is going to the EU in a couple weeks for work, and it was originally supposed to be a family trip. We assumed kid and I wouldn’t be able to go but the country he’s going to just announced we’re allowed in so I’m trying to figure out if I want to go.
Anonymous says
Can you get a direct flight? Much lower risk if you have like an NYC- Paris direct flight vs. longer flight from west coast or a layovers in multiple airports. Preferably night flights as less eating and hopefully more sleeping while wearing masks.
DH’s family is in Europe. We last saw them in August ’19 and are tentatively planning another trip for January 2022 with the hope that kids 6-12 will be vax eligible by then.
We’re in a smaller city and they live in a smaller city. I don’t want to have to transit London and Frankfurt with unvaxxed kids and various variants. 20 hour total travel time means that’s at least 3 meals with masks off let alone all the snacking.
Anon says
In normal times, yes, there are direct flights but it looks like not they’re not operating right now. We’re doing a lot of direct flight plane travel within the US this summer (assuming they don’t lift the mask requirement) so that’s not something that worries me, especially because this country is only letting in Americans if they’re vaccinated (or children accompanying vaccinated adults) so presumably almost every adult on the trans-Atlantic flight would be vaccinated. But that’s a good point about the risk of the layover and additional flight within Europe. In addition, I don’t think we’re allowed into the country we’d have to change planes in, so I’d have to look into that and make sure it would be ok.
NYCer says
My husband is French, and as of now, we are planning to go to France in August with the kids. If it weren’t to visit family (including a grandfather who is not in great health), I do not think we would just take a vacation to Europe this summer with our kids.
Cb says
We’ll go to Portugal (from the UK) at Christmas, all being well. We’re desperate for some time away and to see grandparents. It’s a much shorter flight though.
Anonanonanon says
I would consider it if it was the only way to see family, but we aren’t even flying domestically with our young kids this summer. We’re so close to them being able to get vaccinated, I personally don’t feel right taking the risk right now. I don’t judge anyone who does, though. (not that you care if I judge you lol)
Anon says
No. I also know that things are opening back up, but wonder even why an international trip is necessary from a work standpoint at this point. i would only consider it to visit family. if you are going to play tourist, who knows what will be open, what things will be like, etc.
Anon says
Thanks all, I think we won’t go. Our domestic travel all involves the grandparents and while it’s not the only way we can see the grandparents (they’ve been visiting us) it does feel a lot more important than a vacation just our family, since we don’t know how much longer the grandparents will be around, and I’m slightly concerned that by the time vaccines for little kids exist there will be a variant that makes it a lot less safe for high-risk elderly people to travel. And our preschooler gets incredibly excited about doing things with her grandparents but couldn’t care less about Europe vs. the local playground so there’s really no reason our family can’t just delay Europe until summer 2022 when we’ll presumably all be vaccinated.
Anon at 3:29, his work travel isn’t all that necessary in my view. Before the country opened up for tourism he was going to have to get a letter to give the foreign government saying his attendance was absolutely essential and I was kind of side-eyeing him for it. It’s an academic conference, and he can get the information he needs just fine via Zoom. I get that he wants to see his buddies he hasn’t seen in almost 2 years and that networking has long-term value, but come on, a country that isn’t allowing tourists to enter clearly doesn’t want a bunch of academics getting together to booze it up at bars when they could have their conference online instead.
Tired says
Work has been so busy the past month with a final push this week. Of course my son has a bad reaction to teething last night needing lots of snuggles and wakeups when I just want to sleep.
Send coffee
EDAnon says
That’s so hard! It gets easier as they get older (at least, sleep wise). I hope you got all the coffee!
Mamasgottasleep says
Question for you, or I guess I want your opinion and resources, if you have any. My mom, who I’ll admit is quite old school, thinks swaddles are torture devices. I have informed her that one of our twins (four months old) simply wouldn’t sleep without a swaddle. We didn’t know to swaddle our first, and spent a couple of weeks trying to figure out why he’d go to sleep peacefully but then wake up every hour. I guess I view them as a necessary evil? I can’t be up all night holding a baby, which is what my mom has implied I should be doing. I have informed her she is welcome to come over and hold him all night. I’m not trying to start a controversy but is there an alternative to swaddling?
Anon says
Why is it torture if the kid is happy? It’s incredibly cozy and snug and my daughter was always so happy to get tucked in and swaddled. It’s not painful or anything like that. I wish they made swaddles for adults.
CCLA says
I def saw an ad for something like this recently, you may be in luck! I don’t recall the name but it looked intriguing, name was something about a hug.
Anon says
Yeah, the Hug Sleep Pod! I tried that actually! It was interesting but it’s more like a sleeping bag than a baby swaddle and ultimately I returned it.
Anonanonanon says
I had my first kid pretty young and had very little idea of what I was doing, and I remember joking to the nurse in the hospital that it seemed like torturing a baby to wrap them up so tight. She patiently explained that my baby found it unsettling to be so un-confined and have so much freedom to move his limbs and that swaddling soothed him because it reminded him of the womb. She said it kind of like “imagine how scary it would be to suddenly have all of that space, it probably feels like you’re about to fall or float away” and said it helped him feel safe.
I don’t know if any of that is true, but it made sense and stuck with me.
Interestingly, my second kid was breech and hated being swaddled because her “fetal position” involved frog legs.
Anonymous says
This is the whole principle behind The Happiest Baby on the Block. Very young babies are most content and sleep best in an environment that mimics the environment in which they’ve spent the past nine months. Swaddle, shush, and swing.
GCA says
Honestly, if you’ve made it to four months, a swaddle isn’t going to be terribly useful any more – most babies at that age are in the middle of a development spurt (four month sleep regression), starting to outgrow their startle reflex, and learning to roll or even push up on hands and knees soon, so you will be rid of the swaddle question in a couple of weeks anyway.
But: This isn’t a swaddling problem! It is a grandma problem. A know-it-all grandma problem, even, from the sound of it. Is she adamant on just this one issue, or is this part of a larger pattern of her foisting opinions and practices on you? And if it’s the latter, how much / often do you have to deal with her in person? It sounds like she may live near you. Some practices that have become way more commonplace since the 70s and 80s are obviously a matter of safety, but others, like swaddling, are more of a useful tool and safety isn’t really an issue – so you may have to pick and choose your battles with her.
CPA Lady says
Swaddling is baby dependent. My kid hated it and would scream her head off every time I tried. So I never swaddled her. The alternative to swaddling is not swaddling. If your kid likes it, great. If your kid doesn’t like it, great. Your mom’s opinion is irrelevant. Swaddling is not a “good” or “bad” or “wrong” or “right” mommy-wars worthy issue. You don’t have to argue with her or get resources to prove a point. Jus say “okay thanks for the input, mom”, ignore her, move on with the conversation, and swaddle away guilt free if your kid likes it!
Part of becoming a parent is understanding that you know what your children need more than your parents know what they need. She had her chance to parent a baby. Now it’s your turn. You get to do what you think is right.
CCLA says
I don’t view them as necessary evils because I don’t see them as evil at all. They seemed comforting. That said, I think the guidance is to stop (at least stop tucking arms in) around 2-3 months because of the risk of rolling and not having access to their arms so I’d try to phase it out for a 4 mo old. There are a lot of products for that next phase like the zipadeezip (we went straight to sleep sack after swaddle so can’t speak to efficacy).
Anon says
+1 I don’t see them as evil either, assuming your kid isn’t fighting it. We swaddled my daughter with arms out basically from birth, I think maybe the first week we did arms in, because she liked to suck fingers to put herself to sleep and the swaddle didn’t let her do it. But she clearly liked being swaddled so to me it was more of a good thing than a necessary evil for us.
Anon says
There are a few things that are pretty much universal around the world when it comes to baby care – swaddling and swinging. Your mom is wrong. Ignore her.
OP says
GCA and CPAlady hit the nail on the head: this is a grandma’s opinion problem. She’s very opinionated and has actually walked it back a lot (and I’ve been to a lot of therapy to work on setting boundaries). I just read that swaddles may reduce SIDS risk so I’ll tell her that and that should be the end of it. I also neglected to mention the twins were born at 31 weeks: so they’re a month and a half adjusted age. I’ll definitely switch to sleep sacks once they can roll over. Thanks everyone!
GCA says
Ah – that makes sense if they’re much younger age-adjusted. Boundary-transgressing parents + witching hours with tiny twins has got to be rough. I hope you swaddle away and get the sleep you need :) Hang in there!
Anon says
hugs to you with 31 weekers. i imagine you spent some time in the NICU. mine were 35 weeks. i promise you that you will sleep again and that it will get easier. and yes, everyone i know has swaddled their babies until they can roll over.
Anonymous says
I don’t understand how people get small babies to sleep without swaddles. They are used across so many cultures around the world. All 3 of mine used swaddles for months and are great sleepers in elementary school. Grandma needs to check herself.
Anon says
Hah, mine used swaddles for months and is still a terrible sleeper at 4. But I certainly don’t think the swaddle is to blame, just DH’s genetics (who is also a terrible sleeper still even as an adult).
Anon says
They do it by putting them on their stomach, which is why Grandma didn’t use them. They actually still do it in a lot of places – I remember one Swedish woman explaining to me that it was totally fine there to put babies to sleep on there stomachs and people thought swaddles were weird.
Anonymous says
Just ignore her.
Merlin sleep suits says
Not sure if you’ll see this but the Merlin sleep suit was great for my kids once they were around 4 months. We used the halo swaddles and then when they started breaking out of the swaddle, we transitioned them to the Merlin. It dampens the reflex to raise their arms and legs and helps them sleep.
not using usual name for this says
Unsolicited product recommendation!
We’re going on a looong road trip soon and I was packing activities to make things interesting for my kids. On a whim, I purchased a small Bluetooth photo printer, photo paper with sticky backs, and a notebook for each so they can take and print pictures on the trip. I hate things that require apps and a lot of setup but I just tested it and it was super easy to set up and the sticky photos are so fun! I got the Canon IVY mobile mini printer. The quality is pretty good, the color isn’t 100% on target but good enough for what we’ll be using it for! Anyway, it’s cute and fun and thought I’d recommend.
Mary Moo Cow says
What a great idea!
EP-er says
Thank you – this is a great idea! My daughter has an Instax camera, but the fixed focal length is maddening. This seems like a great alternative.
DLC says
For those who have kids in weekday after school activities- what are your dinner solutions? My daughter has joined a summer swim team that practices 5p-6p four days a week, and Husband takes her. Younger kids either go with or stay home with grandma. I don’t get home til 6:30p. When there are no activities and I was at home we would aim to eat at 6p. I know that isn’t going to happen with swim practice, but I also don’t want to be having dinner at 7pm because of bedtime. Sometimes if I have time I make dinner in the morning before work (InstantPot or pasta salad or something make ahead)
Would love to hear how other families deal with this and/or meal suggestions or recipes!
Anon says
We limit activities to one night a week for this reason, and don’t do dinner as a family that one night.
Anonymous says
Limiting activities isn’t going to change the fact that OP gets home at 6:30 and wants to eat dinner at 6:00. Her husband is taking their daughter to swim practice, so that can’t be the reason she gets home at 6:30.
Anon says
Crockpot dinners, make your own sandwiches with canned soups (we like Rao’s but pricey), one night of takeout, Costco dinners that just need heated
Do you have time to prep on Sundays? I dice all my onions and vegetables, but it sounds like you don’t even have time to cook that when you get home from work. So maybe, you can make a big batch of fruit salad (with lemon juice and a little sugar to avoid mold), and some prepped casseroles that just need to be put in the oven.
Good luck! It’s so hard.
AnotherAnon says
Totally not the same but maybe this will help. We work out 5-6PM while kiddo watches tv or plays. We need to eat at 6:30 so here’s a sample meal plan:
Monday: Taco casserole, meat prepped in the morning or weekend then the whole thing gets popped in the oven at 6.
Tuesday: Eggs with canned chili.
Wednesday: Air fryer chicken drumsticks, sautéed squash on the side
Thursday: baked salmon, add spinach if I’ve got it
Friday: takeout or leftovers
It’s not pretty but it’s reality.
I recently discovered taco salad is fast and easy, so that’s going into the mix.
In the winter I make a lot of soups/chili.
We do sheet pan chicken and veggies often as well.
Chicken or tofu stir fry requires some special sauced but I just keep them on hand. A bonus is you can just use veggies you have: celery, carrot, mushrooms, bell pepper. Good luck!
Anonymous says
We regularly eat at 6:30pm or 7 and kids go to bed at 8pm.
I’d make take out your swim night standard. You can pick up on the way home.
– Pasta with a jar of tomato sauce and a few frozen turkey meatballs microwaved and thrown into the sauce is a meal I can get on the table in less than 5 minutes.
– breakfast for supper is another quick meal – make one of french toast/scrambled eggs/omelets, slice some fruit as a side while stuff cooks, microwave bacon. Ready in like 10 minutes.
Anon says
I think eating at 7 might just be easiest, to be honest, and push back bedtime a half hour. Even if you make something quick it still takes a little time.
GCA says
We have a similar juggle this summer, except that 6yo’s activity is 6.15-7.15pm twice a week. It’s a bit of a mad rush. One parent hustles to get him from afterschool, feeds him a large snack or small dinner and takes him to the activity. Other parent stays home with the toddler. Dinner on those nights is super fast and super simple: sheet pan (or honestly: microwave) nachos, leftovers, fried rice, eggs and avocado toast, tortellini + red sauce + steamed veggies, etc. Seconds and fruit/ dessert are eaten after they get home again. In theory he is in bed at 8…
Anonymous says
Why do they even offer activities at that hour for this age group?? I would not wish my 6 year old on ANYONE at that time of day (and he doesn’t even go to bed that early anymore, lights out 8, asleep between 8:20-9). But he’s just a disaster at that time.
gym mom says
We have dealt with practice ending between 7:30 and 8:30 up to four days a week for years and years. We do family dinner after practice on the divide-and-conquer system. One parent does pickup while the other cooks dinner. Dinner is on the table when kiddo walks through the door. We briefly tried feeding her in the car on the way home from practice, which never worked because it was dark and because she wanted to talk to the parent driving instead of eating because it was the first time she’d seen us all day.
Is grandma watching the other kids at your house? I’d ask grandma to handle transport while dad cooks dinner, or have grandma start dinner while dad does pickup. Also look for a carpool.
But this doesn’t really sound like a swim practice issue, it sounds like an issue with your schedule. You used to be home to get dinner on the table by 6:00. Now you are home at 6:30, presumably because you are back in the office? If that’s the new reality, then bedtime will have to shift or the bedtime routine will have to be streamlined, with or without swim team.
NYCer says
What time is bedtime? It sounds like the easiest solution may be to push bedtime by 30 minutes and eat together at 7pm when everyone is home.
DLC says
Thanks! These are great suggestions. I think the suggestions for later bedtime might be the way to go…. Swim team is only for six weeks and it is summer, so i should probably embrace later bed time.
Anonanonanon says
Do you get to stop home before swim practice? If so, easy mac in a thermos was my go-to for activity nights. I’d make it before I picked up my kid from after school care. It was always still warm when practice was over and my kid would eat that, one of those boxes of horizon organic milk, and some fruit in the car on the way home. Other options I can remember were the Trader Joe’s organic version of spaghetti o’s and pasta with red sauce.
Spouse/kid(s) at home do their own thing.
Anon says
Good for everyone above making things, but those are quick assembly nights for us. We do Lunchables (homemade version, aka crackers cheese and salami, if we’re fancy and call it charcuterie), PBJ, frozen waffles, homemade cheesy rollups (cheese and cold chicken rolled in a tortilla and nuked), and even fast food if we’re super pressed for time.
The school says nachos with cheese sauce are somehow a healthy lunch, so I figure a few nights a year of lunchables are just as healthy.
in DC says
This morning’s post on the other site about DC & falls church had me thinking. Anyone raised kids through high school in NW DC, east of Rock Creek Park? Please give me your best life hacks and tips for making it through DCPS or charters and beyond!
Doesn’t have to be school related – favorite daycares or other useful DC specific info very welcome!
Thank you!
Anonymous says
For those of you with kids that get eczema in the summer: tips and tricks please. Our daughter is 3 and I was REALLY hoping she’d outgrow her summer eczema by now, alas, here we are with cracked toes and scaly knuckles one week into June. We slather her feet and hands (where it’s the worst) with aquaphor at night, use a gentle sunscreen, and slather her legs with aquaphor as needed. Mercifully, she hasn’t broken out on her arms and legs yet so maybe we *are* slowly growing out of it.
We keep her in the shade when outside but…she’s outside a lot and we can’t do too much about it. Camp is 100% outside this summer due to covid.
Anonymous says
We had luck with the California Baby Super Sensitive body wash.
Anon says
Aquaphor seals in moisture, which is why it’s supposed to help with bad skin in the wintertime when the air is very dry. I think it would not be good for summertime eczema. My daughter’s eczema is worst in the winter, but Aquaphor never helped us then either. We’ve had the best luck with a lotion called Aveeno Baby Soothing Relief Moisturizing Cream. It’s beige with a blue cap, and it has oats in it which is known to be a good thing for eczema. We used to get prescription steroid cream for very stubborn spots, but haven’t had to do that in a long time, thankfully. I would also ask your ped about allergy meds. Allergies, asthma and eczema are all highly correlated and getting on some kind of anti-histimine may help her skin.
Anon says
+1. We loved that exact Aveeno lotion too. Also I don’t know if my kids grew out of it, or if it’s coincidental, but it started to go away around the same time they started taking 5mg of Zyrtec daily for allergies.
TheElms says
Ped just recommended we put RoBathol in my 2 year olds bath to help prevent /treat eczema.