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I’m still working from home for the foreseeable future, so I’m on the hunt for work-from-home pieces that could transition back to the office.
This cardigan dress from Brass may be just what I’m looking for. I always appreciate clothing that can do double duty, and this works as both a sleek ribbed dress or a duster cardigan. This cardigan dress is made from a soft, easy-to-care-for cotton/modal blend and features a flattering V-neck, ribbed cuffs, and side slits.
It comes in four lovely colors (I’m torn between mint and marsala) that will take you from home to office and back.
The dress is $128 and comes in XS–XL. In addition to mint and marsala, it is also available in black and shell.
Sales of note for 3.28.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – Up to 40% off your full-price purchase; extra 50% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50-70% off everything plus extra 20% off purchase
- Eloquii – 50% off 2+ items; 40% off 1
- J.Crew – 50% off select styles
- Lands’ End – 10% off your order
- Loft – 50% off everything
- Nordstrom: Give $150 in gift cards, earn a $25 promo card (ends 3/31)
- Talbots – 40% off 1 item; 25% off everything else
- Zappos – 37,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – 50% off entire site
- Hanna Andersson – 30% off all swim; up to 30% off HannaJams
- J.Crew Crewcuts – 40% off sitewide; 50% off select swim; 50% off kids’ styles
- Old Navy – 50% off Easter deals
- Target – 20% off Easter styles for all; up to 30% off kitchen & dining; BOGO 50% off shoes & slippers for the family;
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
Meh says
Love the color. Pass on everything else. Feels dated, and sweater-type dresses have never been flattering on me, even at my tiniest size (which was tiny)! Speaking of color, why is it SO hard to find non-drab clothes?! So many sad colors.
Anonymous says
Yeah, this looks like something that would be worn by the woman in my office whose entire wardrobe dates back to her first job in the early 1990s. The button front will definitely gap.
Anonanonanon says
I think it’s cute but 100% not ever office appropriate. It is cute for dropping the kids off, running to Trader Joe’s on the weekend, etc. and I would definitely wear it with white sneakers like they have it styled.
Aunt Jamesina says
I think it depends on your office, this would be totally fine at mine!
AnonATL says
Sweater dresses push me into kardashian territory. So clingy if you have any curves
Refinnej says
I would also skip this unless you’re just looking for a really long cardigan.
Nanny help says
So it’s my first time looking for a nanny. Any advice or considerations I should think about? Like how do I go about finding one? Care.com? And what things should I be looking for or setting up with respect to pay and benefits? Relatedly, if I also want to hire a mother’s helper to help with just laundry and other day-to-day things, any considerations there that I should think about it in terms of pay and benefits?
Anon says
Data point of one – we hired our first nanny in February and she started when our daughter was 4 months.
We used an agency and also care.com. We ended up hiring our nanny from care.com.
Decide up front if you want/need to pay on the books and be very clear about that. A LOT of nannies do not want to be paid on the books, so it wastes everyone’s time if that isn’t part of your screening process before spending a lot of time on a substantive interview/home visit.
Our all-in cost for nanny plus worker’s comp insurance plus disability insurance plus payroll company fees is roughly $75K/year. NYC burb.
Nanny help says
Thank you. This is super helpful. And thank you for providing the cost since I really don’t know how much it would be. How did you decide whether to pay on the books or not? And did you just buy worker’s comp and disability insurance through your home insurance?
Anonymous says
Do you want to follow the law or not? IMO if you are a lawyer, this should not be a question — I don’t know of it happening, but I would guess if your state bar wanted to go after you for paying off the books, they could. And paying on the books pays into social security and other public benefits on behalf of the nanny. I would suggest using a company that specializes in nanny payroll taxes if you pay on the books. It’s not that much more in the scheme of things and they can take care of everything for you or tell you what you need to do for WC etc.
anon says
+1 the law requires paying on the books, so we did it. Wasn’t a question for us.
Pogo says
I paid on the books because I have been audited before and I don’t want to deal with being found guilty of tax evasion. I actually had to submit pretty detailed documents when I was audited in the past and it was the TINIEST amount of money you can imagine that the state thought I wasn’t paying.
Anon @ 9:28 says
We pay on the books because I’m an attorney and my husband works for the Department of Defense and we like our jobs :) (and it’s a violation of federal tax law not to pay a full-time, household employee on the books).
We got the insurance via different carrier recommended by our payroll company.
Spirograph says
Care.com is a decent place to start, but you will get a TON of replies and it can be overwhelming. In my experience, a lot of people don’t even read your ad terribly carefully, they just apply to everything. Still, put as much info in the ad as you can — hours, whether you have pets, whether you’re planning to pay on the books, any expectations around driving, activities, etc.
Local listservs are are also usually full of nanny recommendations, especially this time of year when people whose kids are going to elementary school are trying to help with placement for their outgoing full time nanny.
I wouldn’t think that a mother’s helper is entitled to benefits, as that sounds like a very part-time, hourly job. A full time nanny should get some paid time off imho. We did 2 weeks paid, one week we chose, and one week she chose, plus a few sick days. One nanny we interviewed asked about health benefits, but we didn’t want to get into that administrative headache. We used a payroll service and I highly recommend that if you’re paying on the books. Also, make sure you do the math on what the nanny’s actual take-home pay will be when you’re thinking about salary.
Think about your own personality and what you want the relationship with a nanny to look and feel like. A surrogate grandparent / member of the family? An employee? Do you want to defer to her advice & experience, or do you want someone who is going to do things the way you want her to?
Finally, my best advice in a nanny search is to trust your gut when you meet the nanny. Even if she (or he!) seems great on paper and is saying all the right things, if your mom spidey sense tells you something is off or you’re just not clicking, listen to it and keep looking. This is someone who you’ll interact with constantly, hopefully for years. You want to *like* her in addition to thinking she’ll do a good job caring for your child.
Nanny help says
Thank you for all these tips–all super helpful. How did you decide whether to pay on the books or not? And sounds like providing health benefits is not necessarily required? Sorry if these are dumb questions!
Anonymous says
I answered about on the books or not above. As to health benefits, I don’t know of anyone who provides health insurance to their nanny (doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen obviously), but I do know of folks who provide a stipend towards the nanny getting their own health insurance.
Pogo says
+1 I know people who pay for their employees to get healthcare on the state exchange.
Anonymous says
We paid on the books 1. to do the right thing, legally a nanny is a household employee, and 2. DH is a federal employee, his career would have been at risk if we skirted. Some nannies are looking to be paid under the table, as it typically increases their take-home pay. Certainly lots of people “get away” with it, but it’s probably not a risk you want to take in some professions.
No, health benefits are not required — people can buy insurance on the state exchanges, after all. I don’t remember the specifics, as it was years ago. She may have been asking for a stipend, not necessarily an employer-sponsored plan. It’s a nice thing to consider, but only one of a dozen+ nannies we interviewed asked, so it didn’t seem to be a standard expectation. (Anecdata: the candidate who asked was younger, a professional who’d stepped out of the workforce because she had her own young child, and generally savvier than a lot of the other people we talked to.)
Anonymous says
I’ve hired exactly one nanny, so my experience is very specific. Also, I live in a first ring suburb of Chicago so my knowledge may be geographically specific.
First, we pay on the books. We use homepay.com which charges $75/ month. They handle all the taxes etc. For me this was a no brainer because I was concerned I’d make a mistake with the taxes and screw everyone. Also, our nanny needed someone to walk her through filling out the tax forms. I wouldn’t have been comfortable asking her such personal questions and then being a custodian of her social security card, etc.
We found her on facebook (and talked to her references). I found that there area ton of facebook and email groups where nannies and nanny-employers connect and that was the best way for us. We talked to an agency (and, to be honest, I really liked the people they sent us) but it didn’t work out. One big advantage of talking to the agency was we got a better feel for what was standard in terms of pay, sick days and vacation.
In retrospect I should have asked more questions. One thing we discovered, our nanny’s resume listed 4 years of high school attendance. I assumed that meant she had graduated from high school but that is not the case. She’s great with our kid, but I don’t think we would have hired her if we knew she was a HS dropout.
Pogo says
We just hired through Sittercity (my company pays the fee vs Care dot com). I both reached out to people who advertised and looked at people who applied. I did a phone interview and then checked references, which has always been the deciding factor for me.
We had a week long provisional period to see if it worked for both of us, honestly I was more worried she wouldn’t want the job because 4yo is a handful, but she’s great. Does exactly what I wanted her to do (pick the kids up, get their dinner ready, get them started on dinner, so DH and I can work til 5:30 if needed). She tidies up the kitchen and unloads daycare bags. It’s small stuff but it helps me SO much.
I am using Poppins Payroll, based on friends’ recommendations and this s1te. It is possible using any method (even doing the taxes yourself) to calculate the withholding on the employee’s part and pay them such that they level up to $20/hr or whatever so they don’t ‘see’ the tax impact if that is something they are concerned about.
I feel weirdly ashamed about how messy my house is having someone over every day, and we wonder “does she think we’re weird for saving plastic bags?” but then I remember, we’re her employer, she probably does not even think about it.
anon says
One thing I will note is that you will get some people who, if you’re going to pay on the books, want you to guarantee what their take-home pay will be. You do not want to do this, because (as you know from doing your own taxes), take-home pay depends on the taxpayer’s allowances, exemptions, etc. Those are factors out of your control and it can become a big PITA for you to try to make sure she’s always getting the agreed take-home amount.
I advertised what we were willing to pay gross, and we found a great person who was happy to take it. We use Surepayroll and have been happy with it.
Pogo says
I guess that’s true – I was just thinking you could get pretty close if you ask them what they’re going to claim and use a calculator. But you’re right, you cannot guarantee take home.
anon says
Beyond wanting/needing to follow the law and not wanting to face the consequences for failure to do so, I pay on the books because I want the (meager, but real) social safety net for the nanny, like:
-worker’s comp for an on the job injury (though I think I could probably buy a worker’s comp policy in my state without paying on the books)
-social security disability if the nanny becomes disabled
-unemployment insurance
-social security and medicare for old age
How awful would it be to trust someone with your kid every day, 40 or 50 hours a week, for years, but not have any social safety net for her if she couldn’t work?
anon says
California has a fingerprint background check system through the state for caregivers. It’s called Livescan for schools, I think a different name for families. It’s free for families, but if the nanny hasn’t already been registered with it, you should pay the fingerprint fees.
IHeartBacon says
If you own a home, check your homeowner’s policy for workers’ comp coverage, it’s likely already included in your policy.
anon says
Lots of useful advice on this thread, so I won’t repeat what others have said. Re: on the books, I know many people who do not pay on the books (including lawyers) but I agree the “right” and also safer thing to do is to pay on the books, even though it is obviously more expensive in the long run. Many nannies do not want to be paid on the books so you’ll need to make that clear in your ad. My first nanny is about to leave us to go back to school; both she and our nanny I just hired to replace her were found on our local FB “nanny phonebook” group. I also used care.com but it was far less useful IMO – as someone else said, you just get a million applicants who haven’t even bothered to read your ad. The FB groups are also useful because you get a good sense of pay for your area. In my HCOL/VHCOL area, for example, typical rates are $20-25/hr per child, with a $2-3/hr increase for each additional child. I also provide two weeks vacation (one week of her choice, one ours), sick days, and a health insurance stipend ($100/month). Overall, while I’ve been happy with our nanny, I did not realize how much work it is to have an employee, and I can see why people opt for daycare even if they can afford a nanny.
Nanny help says
Thanks for mentioning it’s a lot of work. I think that’s what I was worried about too. We had always been planning to send our child to daycare since looking for a nanny and employing one seemed like so much work but circumstances have changed so we think a nanny is probably best for us now. Though after reading everyone’s responses, maybe we should go back to the daycare option!
Anonymous says
It is a lot of work, and I supervise employees in my paying job and realized very quickly that I didn’t want to deal with it at home. I was much, much happier with daycare. Of course, if your job is a non-standard schedule there are a lot of reasons to choose nanny over daycare, but if you can truly choose, don’t underestimate the mental and emotional load of managing a nanny and having someone in your house all the time. Yes it’s an employee and not a guest, but I did feel weird about all of the literal and figurative dirty laundry being visible to someone outside my immediate family.
Anonymous says
I think if you find the right nanny, your life can be easier. But it’s not insignificant to find the right person, especially if you are really pressed for childcare and having to balance the search/interview process with work with caring for your child, it’s easy to hire the wrong person. Go with your gut and really talk to references.
Nanny help says
Thanks so much everyone for the advice and anecdata! So helpful. And I’ll pay on the books based on the consensus here and I want to make sure the nanny gets standard benefits. I guess I got confused when someone mentioned that there may be nannies that do not want to be paid on the books so thought you could cater to that but sounds like I should look for someone who does want to be paid on the books. It probably also makes sense for background checks (and thanks to the anon who suggested fingerprinting) and might provide protection/security if something were to go wrong as well. I’m not a huge social media person but will see if I can find a local FB group to find a nanny. Thanks all!
anon says
Some additional anecdotal thoughts:
I pay on the books (tax lawyer). In my circle of professionals, I’d say it’s about 50/50, even among lawyers, but everyone I know who touches tax or employment pays on the books.
I use poppins payroll.
I have used both an agency and care.com. The agency is nice because they weed people out. For care.com, I spent a lot of time weeding out people who wouldn’t be paid on the books – that ends up being my first question by email and phone. But, the agency is expensive, and (by sheer bad luck), the first person I hired quit after three months – the agency does one search if the nanny leaves within 9 months, but her replacement quit after 3 months as well. They did offer me a discount on the next search.
I don’t offer healthcare. Sick leave is mandatory in CA, and I think I went slightly over the minimum. I do 2 weeks vacation, one week the nanny’s choice and one week my choice. I recommend a written agreement to spell out things like advance notice, etc.
I offer use of a car, and only reimburse mileage if the car is not available.
I don’t offer disability. I added workers comp through homeowners insurance, and also added my nanny as a driver.
All-in is around $75k as well.
Anonymous says
Last minute (today) gift ideas for a turning 4 y/o boy? He has an older brother (7) so has lots of the basics (stomp rockets, legos, etc). He’s more on the artistic/quiet side vs the high energy side, and his parents are not big on superheros so I want to stay away from that kind of thing.
Cb says
Some play costumes? Or a mini puppet theatre? Or those gel crayons, super satisfying, it’s like colouring with lipstick. Or go to the bookstore and buy 3 of the newest books
Walnut says
The Melissa and Doug astronaut and magician costumes get a lot of miles in our house.
TheElms says
At what age do these start to get used? I was thinking maybe 3 or 3 1/2? ( I have a 2 year old and she still seems to young for dress up other than perhaps a hat or vest).
Anonymous says
preschool-ish
Walnut says
Around 3 was on target for my older two. My 2.5 year old will wear one or two components, but hasn’t gotten into full outfits yet.
TheElms says
New coloring books, crayons, art supplies. Some kind of art kit (I’ve seen build a birdhouse that you then paint at target). A Kinetic sand kit (again generally a few options at target). A Lite Bright if you don’t think they have one already.
AwayEmily says
Definitely +1 to art supplies. Go to Target and get an art kit plus some interesting types of markers/crayons/glitter glue/whatever. Maybe a few coloring books, too (especially ones with stickers).
anonamama says
Nesting this here, but washable tempera paint sticks are so fun and low mess. Target has a brand (Mondo Llama) and Ooly makes them. I’ve gifted them to 3 & 5 y/o to success and enjoy using them myself when they’re out.
Anon says
Learning Resources volcano! Or similar science-y sets. A random dinosaur soap making kit was a huge hit at my house recently (found on Amazon).
Anon in Boston says
Butterfly kit!
Pogo says
Books! Anything about trains, trucks, dinosaurs, outer space, or any animals are big for my 4yo boy.
Puzzles or matching games – I’ll link to my son’s current favorite.
AnotherAnon says
I recently bought a kite for a 4 year old I didn’t know very well and much to my surprise it was a big hit at the party. He didn’t open it; just he and a bunch of the other kids saw it and oooh-ahhed over the fact that he got a kite.
Allie says
Sticker book!
Anon says
These are my go-to for everyone. Usborne makes some great ones, available at bookstores or Amazon
Anon says
I’m so glad to see Brass Clothing featured here! They are one of my favorite brands and the team that runs it is a small group women out of Boston. I don’t care for the way they have styled it, but it also works great as a long duster or semi-buttoned on the top over white jeans! Hooray for Brass!
Pogo says
oh nice! thanks for pointing out the brand – I will check it out!
Anon says
^^ Agree! I love Brass. They’re so great for well-made basic, work clothes. This cardigan dress is probably my least favorite item of theirs, and the picture selected is my least favorite color of the ones for this dress.
Older Kids Playroom says
Hi All. Give me your best tips and thoughts for a playroom for kids 6+. After school starts we’re going to do a big toy purge, sell the play kitchen, etc. and redecorate the playroom. Tips? I’ve definitely got some ideas, but I’d love to hear some thoughts from parents of older kids. The playroom is actually our sunroom that is located right off the living room. We still want it to be a dedicated space for her to play and to house toys, but we’d like it to fit in a bit better with our regular decor.
Anonymous says
You need a combo of open and hidden storage — do you have any closets in the room? If not, I’d go for an armoire with shelves or some kind of wall unit. Our playrooms aren’t trying too hard to look nice since one is the kids’ bedroom and one is in the basement family room, but here’s our setup:
Bedroom playroom has a couch, train/lego table as coffee table with two big rubbermaids of lego and train tracks underneath. (The kids usually build on the floor, but the table at least gives the boxes a home.) Also a bookshelf, and an ikea kallax with baskets for small stuff and some open cubes for the beyblade stadium, and more books. We have an ikea tent and tunnel that my kids still like to build forts with, and those fold flat-ish and are tucked under the couch.
Family room is too small for a coffee table or storage ottoman, but has some built in book shelves and a big closet where we keep board games and puzzles. Also in the closet is another ikea storage thing that has baskets for hot wheels/vehicles, magnatiles, snap circuits, and a bunch of red solo cups that my kids build into walls and bust through like the Kool Aid man. We have another giant rubbermaid container of duplos that lives mostly out of sight behind a chair. The TV stand has drawers where all the video games + controllers live.
Both leave enough open floor space for dance parties, forts, and elaborate train/car track & block builds. The rubbermaids are not the prettiest storage option, but so functional – the kids can slide them easily on the rug, and the mouth is big enough that it’s easy to throw things back in for clean up. We have some other blocks in a cute canvas hamper, but since it doesn’t slide, it just ends up dumped sideways and stuff goes everywhere.
AwayEmily says
I wrote some playroom stuff in response last week, but will repeat the gist here. (1) bookshelves rather than “kid” storage like cubes look really nice. We got an IKEA Havsta set, which is actually marketed for dining rooms so it has a bunch of closed storage as well. Also the bottom shelves are wider so fit big baskets. (2) Definitely leave plenty of space in the middle of the room — our kids played in there more once we cleared out the middle better (3) have a big enough art table, and have all the art supplies well-organized in one place.
Mommasgottasleep says
My oldest is eligible to start public kindergarten in the fall. I’m planning to keep him in our Montessori-light day care though instead: they run through first grade (I’m planning to send him to public for first grade). I guess I want some reassurance that this isn’t crazy? We can afford it. He’s been there since he was 18 months, has lots of friends, is learning enough to but most importantly they go outside for the majority of the afternoon. I guess my secret motivation in keeping him there is the director is very communicative and works with me any time there is an “issue”; from potty training to lately saying “bathroom words.” She helps me come up with strategies instead of just saying “your son is saying poop please punish him.” Is there any advantage to switching to kindergarten that I’m not seeing? I don’t know why I feel uncertain about this: we love our day care.
Anonymous says
In the time of COVID, I think if you can afford to do private school for another year, do it. I say this as a committed cheapskate and public school parent (and wife of a public school teacher). Private schools are in a much better position to deal with COVID, primarily due to $$$. If we were not still dealing with a pandemic, I would say it probably doesn’t matter that much either way – good kindergarten teachers will do what you are talking about, although they are more likely to be dealing with larger classes.
Anonymous says
Stick with it if you want! If most kids in your district start in K you’ll lose out on some continuity with friends potentially but that’s not a big issue. You sound really worried about school- mine would never just tell me to punish a kid for saying a bad word, they’re very supportive and collaborative.
Anonymous says
It depends on the academic expectations of your public school system v. what’s taught in your Montessori school. If your public school expects kids to enter K being able to read independently and write full paragraphs, as one poster described a few weeks ago, I’d worry that a kid who transferred in to public school in first grade would be far behind. In our school district, which really doesn’t teach much of anything until high school, Montessori would probably get him ahead academically.
It also depends on how your school district handled COVID. Where we live, I’d avoid public school for another year if I had the means.
Anonymous says
Not crazy.
I am a huge proponent of public schools, and loved our local elementary school until March 2020, but we put our K and 2nd kids in a prek through 3rd grade Montessori school last year when public schools were closed for covid. We’re sticking with it for one more year, and cutoff birthday rising K kid will go there as well. I was very pleasantly surprised with how great the academics were, and the environment worked very well for my kids. It’s expensive, but we can afford it and I don’t quite trust our public schools while kid vaccines are still unavailable. Right now they say they’ll be open, but I will not be surprised at all if they panic over the Delta variant and decide in late August to do hybrid again.
Anon says
One advantage to keeping him at the Montessori is that you will be able to put off having to deal with the public school calendar for another year. It was a shock for us to go from a daycare that was always open to the public school calendar with lots of holidays and other closures.
CCLA says
Not crazy. My oldest turns 5 in early Sept and is TK eligible this fall, which I realize is less of a milestone than K, but she has the option to stay in her preschool until she’s eligible for K and that’s what we’re going to do. She’s happy, learning plenty, and playing a ton. We would probably have done this anyway, covid or no, because youngest kid is still in the preschool so it keeps logistics easy, but the question mark of how public school will operate in the fall tipped us over the edge.
Runner says
Oh man workwear question for you all. I’m heading out next week to a conference at a hotel in Las Vegas. Dress is “business casual”, I am going with my boss who typically dresses more conservatively than requirements (mostly a suit and tie). There will be receptions. It’s also Las Vegas…in July. But a conference in a hotel which to me means freezing cold meeting rooms. I am thinking sheath dresses with tights? I feel like I look better and more professional in those. Or do I need to do pants for this and just wear pant suits all week? I thought the hive mind might have some good answers for me.
Anonymous says
I think tights are going to look weird in Vegas in July, but I also prefer pants in general. I would do pants + short sleeve or sleeveless top + sweater blazer or cardigan. Then you can take off the sweater and carry it around when you go outside. I think knits are easier to carry around without them getting wrinkled than a normal blazer.
Anonymous says
I always wear sheath dress + blazer for conferences. No tights unless it’s winter and I’m going to be outdoors. You could do pant suits if you’re really that worried about being cold, but tights will look out of place in Vegas at any time and especially in the summer. I sometimes see women with shawls over their legs in hotel meeting rooms, but these are usually academic types who affect an odd form of high-maintenance bohemianism.
Anon. says
I brought a lovely pashmina to the last freezing hotel conference I attended to drape over my legs, shoulders etc. I am neither academic nor bohemian – just cold and practical. It does not seem to have been an impediment to my career trajectory.
AnotherAnon says
If you like sheath dresses, I vote you wear those. I would not wear tights but I would add a blazer or cardigan. You can take it off if you have to walk from place to place, but I wouldn’t expect a lot of outdoor walking during a conference. This may sound dumb but I get coffee or tea if I’m in a freezing conference room for hours. It seems to help (if you’re not caffeine sensitive). Also my legs never get as cold as my arms, so I’m team sheath dress anyway. Unless you want to go shopping then I say go for it!
NoVA pediatrician says
Can anyone recommend a pediatrician for a newborn in NoVA, preferably closer to Fairfax / Burke? Thanks in advance!
Anonymous says
My sister-in-law is a pediatrician at Capital Area Pediatrics. They have quite a few NoVA locations.
Anon says
Heritage Family Practice in Fairfax. Pediatrician is Dr. Conklin, but we’ve seen all of the doctors there at one point or another. Nice to have the whole family under one roof.
Anonymous says
Virginia Pediatric Group. We’ve since moved to MD but I could ALWAYS get same day appointments and really trusted them
Anonymous says
Dr. Atiyeh at Children’s Medical Associates
Runner says
Heya hive mind, I need some wardrobe recs:
I’m heading to conference in Las Vegas next week (so a million degrees) but in a hotel where I am sure they will put the a/c on blast. Dress is “business casual” but my boss tends to do more “business” than casual. There are also receptions after each day.
I’m worried if I wear sheath dresses and suit jackets then my legs will be freezing, if I wear tights I will look dumb. I can wear pants but the ones I have are slightly less impressive. I’m also worried about rolling through a lot of wardrobe changes because of the receptions and dinners, etc.
It should not be this hard! I’m sure it isn’t. Any help would be appreciated.
Anonymous says
If you think bare legs will be too cold and don’t want to do sheer nude hose, wear pants.
Aunt Jamesina says
I would do cropped trousers, a short sleeve or sleeveless blouse, and a jacket for indoors.
Anon says
Welp I think my husband just sext-ed my mom? I emailed my husband and mom about something and my husband replied all with a very, um…suggestive… comment. He blames me (“you never email both of us!”) but I say it’s his fault for clicking the reply all button. At least there were no pictures involved…
So Anon says
I think we need a bit more clarity: was the sext intended for you or your mom?
Anonymous says
lol
Anon says
For me, but my mom was cc-ed!
Anonymous says
Embarrassing to you and him, but I’m sure your mom thinks it is hilarious and isn’t bothered one bit.
Anonymous says
Girl don’t be cruel what was the comment
Allie says
Lol – Your mom is probably relieved that your relationship still has spark.
Cora says
At least mom knows that your relationship is going well!
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
So…DS #2 is 7 months on Monday and I’m pretty sure (based on pumping output and b**b feel) that my supply has majorly dropped. I only pump 2x/day at work, and have been supplementing with formula since day 1. I was planning to go no longer than Labor Day…but now wondering if I should just close the shop sooner.
I’m so burned out right now – work has been crazy, there’s been almost no time for any self-care, etc. so as much as I’d miss nursing, knowing that he was getting the needed amount of oz in a bottle sounds really nice right now.
Any advice? TIA.
Anonymous says
Sounds like you’re ready to be done, so go for it!!
Anonymous says
Making it to 7 months is a big accomplishment, especially if you’ve been supplementing. Give yourself a pat on the back!
DD is 6 months today and I just dropped to one pump during the workday. I’m still feeding her during the morning/ evening/ night, but I think I’m going to start to taper and aim for bottle only by around 7 or 8 months (if not sooner, my supply tends to be pretty weak).
I’m also SO ready to start feeling like myself again, and dropping the pump entirely will give me time to sneak in midday workouts. Don’t feel guilty. You’ve given him 7 great months of breastmilk nutrition.
OP says
I was thinking the exact same thing regarding bottle feeding during the day and just keep the nursing for morning and evening feed. I EBFed with DS #1 for 10 months and also never had a strong supply (solidarity), but instead of supplementing just made myself miserable (pumped a lot more) until I introduced formula at 10 months and weaned at 1 year.
And yes, 100% ready for midday workouts! As I’ve mentioned before on this board, I hold on to weight when BF so between that and limited bandwidth to exercise = feeling not great.
Leatty says
I just switched to this two weeks ago (formula during the day, nursing am/pm), and it has been so wonderful for my mental health. I should have done this so much sooner (DS is 10 months).
AwayEmily says
I would definitely stop doing twice a day. My advice would be to drop to once a day for a week and see how it feels — then you can decide to drop altogether or keep going once a day for awhile. For whatever reason I found pumping once a day MUCH more mentally manageable than pumping twice a day, and it didn’t even reduce the amount all that much (like you, I supplemented when necessary). I also think that by 7 months it’s quite possible you can drop pumping altogether, supplement, and still have enough to do AM/PM feeds.
TheElms says
Wardrobe help please. I’m newly pregnant with kiddo no. 2. I’m also supposed to be returning to the office fulltime to after Labor Day when I will be about 15 weeks pregnant. Between being just returned from maternity leave when Covid started, a bit of Covid weight gain, and anticipating showing a bit earlier since this is pregnancy number 2 I have no idea what to do about clothing when I return to the office. My office has historically been on the formal end of business casual and we have been told the dress code is remaining the same. I’m short (5’3″), currently a size 10-12 on top and a size 12-14 on bottom, make big babies (first was 9lbs), and so even with my first I was visibly pregnant by 16 weeks. That said I was still not fitting into maternity clothes super well at that point. It was a sort of awkward in between stage and I mostly wore dresses 1-2 sizes up until about 20 weeks. This time around should I assume I’ll be bigger earlier such that maternity clothes might fit at 15/16 weeks? Should I get some dresses in 1-2 sizes up from my current size? Just plan to wear maternity clothes that don’t fit that well and not care much? (This seems like the best idea but I already feel not great from the weight gain so I kind of want stuff that looks good even if that’s not the most financially sensible plan). I would also ignore this but I see work clothes are selling out because suppliers didn’t anticipate the return to work purchases.
Anonymous says
I’d wait. Buy things when you need them. There will be something to buy. September is a Long way off.
Aunt Jamesina says
I would also wait. Clothing selection for both maternity AND workwear sucks right now, and you don’t know what you’ll need in terms of sizing.
I’m 19 weeks with my first and am at the in-between stage where my regular clothes are tight, but I’m not ready for maternity clothes yet, so I just went through my closet and put all of my things that are more generously cut/stretchy/adaptable (like blazers and jackets) together and pushed the other stuff to the side. I also got a Bellaband to hopefully get more wear out of my pants, but have yet to use it. I had more to wear than I initially thought.
Curious says
Gahh I responded on another thread and can’t find it but I am so so thrilled for you :):). Congratulations and best wishes for continued health for you and baby.
Aunt Jamesina says
Thank you!
Anonymous says
Will your employer know you are pregnant or will you be trying to hide it for a bit longer?
TheElms says
I’d like to wait until the 20 week scan but with my first I was asked by multiple people if I was pregnant around 16 weeks and I won’t lie if asked. Yes, I know its rude that I was asked but it is what it is. I suppose wanting to hide it is a vote for regular clothes as well.
Anonymous says
Yeah, I’d buy bigger stuff, some flowy shirts and/or dresses, and try my best to pass it off as all Covid weight gain. But it is hard. I only have one kiddo, but am not tall and am pretty short waisted. So I showed very early, especially for a first kiddo. And with the bloating, I couldn’t stand to have anything touch my lower stomach.
Anon says
I’m postpartum and not even close to my regular size yet and have been pleasantly surprised by how many work-appropriate clothes Old Navy has had. I’ve been buying clothes with the thought that I will probably wear them during that in-between phase in a later pregnancy. (I don’t have many in-between clothes from my last pregnancy since I was WFH from the second trimester on.)
Anon says
Ugh the FDA said “mid-winter” for vaccines under 12 and even that will likely only be ages 5+. They’re asking for 6 months of safety data instead of the 2 months they required for adults and teens but I think a lot of kids are go to die or have series complications from the virus while the FDA sits around waiting to approve these vaccines.
Anonanonanon says
As the parent of an 11-year-old I’m frustrated. To the point where I’m exploring ID requirements for vaccines in surrounding states…
Anonymous says
I am a scientist and vaccinated and will vaccinate my children if/as/when it is available. I do think you should look at some hard data if you have a child <5 before throwing around "lots of kids are going to die." There are more deaths in children 1-4 of the flu than COVID.
I am not suggesting there is nothing to worry about, but the frank reality of living is that there are risks every day. When a vaccine is available, get it.
https://data.cdc.gov/NCHS/Provisional-COVID-19-Deaths-by-Sex-and-Age/9bhg-hcku/data
Anon says
“Lots” is obviously relative but in this context (the risk-benefit of vaccines) I would say lots of children die from the flu (in a normal year) too, so I wasn’t trying to make a direct comparison. I would be pretty frustrated if I couldn’t vaccinate my kid against flu too, but we have a vaccine for that. I think ~200 child deaths is a lot when it’s vaccine preventable.
This article (https://www.npr.org/sections/coronavirus-live-updates/2021/05/03/993141036/children-now-account-for-22-of-new-u-s-covid-cases-why-is-that) says that there have been 300-600 pediatric Covid deaths so far, which is more than even the worst flu years, and the doctor quoted says it’s probably an underestimate, so I’m not sure I believe that flu is deadlier. There are also a lot of bad outcomes that aren’t death. I’m much more worried about long Covid or about future complications that show up years or decades from now, a la chicken pox reactivating as shingles (but could be something much more serious than shingles). And the studies that many people who have even mild Covid have measurable loss of grey matter in their brain are very scary to me too.
My family has made a decision to be very cautious and not doing much except for school and seeing friends and family we know are vaccinated until our kids can be vaccinated. I was still holding out hope for things like winter break travel and in person performances of the Nutcracker and now it seems like there’s no chance of that, so it’s a gut punch.
Anonymous says
I provided the direct CDC data so you could look at the specific group you are worried about- kids under 5. You can see if you look at the data that the numbers are very low AND for this age group much lower than flu.
The article you referenced talks about all pediatric cases- meaning kids <18, many of which now have access to a vaccine.
Anyway, I thought it might be helpful to see the numbers. Both of which are lower than other types of preventable deaths, including drowning.
Anonymous says
If you’re concerned, then do everything you can to encourage adults and teens who are vaccine hesitant to get their shots.
But I’d also say, I think you should take a breath and check out the data. The risk to small children is INCREDIBLY low. Do you let your kids ride bikes? Go in cars? I imagine yes.
Anon says
Everyone we know personally who can be vaccinated is, but we live in a very low vax state that has abandoned all precautions so we can’t safely do anything except in our little bubble of vaccinated friends and family (which I know is not nothing, because last fall and winter we didn’t have that). As I explained above, it’s not death we’re worried about so much as longhaul Covid and other long-term complications. I’ve discussed with our pediatrician and she urged being very cautious until kids can get vaccinated, and did not seem to think the risk was equivalent to riding a bike. We were starting to ease up a bit this summer as numbers got pretty low and then Delta hit our area like a hurricane. I’m sure I might feel differently if we lived somewhere where most adults are vaccinated and/or masks were still required, but unfortunately we don’t so the only way to protect my kids is by vaccinating them directly.
Anonymous says
A thought for you- I am in MA where vax rate is high and cases are (for now) very low. My town of 40k hadn’t had a case in two months. We were having dozens of cases per week for most of 2020.
Would it be possible to visit /vacation/ road trip somewhere where you’d be more comfortable having your kids around other people? And/or seek out places / bubbles within your area where there is high compliance?
As an example, my inlaws are in TX. But they happen to live a very liberal leaning 55+ community and the community is apparently over 85% vaccinated. Probably because half of their community is filled with snowbirds that spend the other half of the year in CA or CO.
Anon says
Appreciate the thought, but kids are currently in in-person daycare (with masks for everyone 2+) and thriving there, so life is normal-ish for them, it’s me who is sad about all the stuff we’re not doing. The only scenario in which I would consider relocating is if our daycare can no longer mandate masks due to our crazy GOP governor/legislature, which is unfortunately a real possibility. But even then we’d probably keep them in daycare – I view daycare/school as essential for a variety of reasons (childcare for us, social and emotional development for them) and will take more risks for that than I will for optional fun activities. Just stinks feeling like it’s not safe to take them into the library, etc. anymore, let alone on special outings like the theater. And I’m frustrated that the TSA mask mandate is likely ending in September so we won’t feel comfortable flying anywhere after that. But in the big scheme of things I know we’re fortunate to have a daycare that is still taking sensible precautions and to be able to see our vaccinated friends and family. Everyone in our extended families and social circle got vaccinated immediately, and I know many people can’t say the same so I’m definitely grateful for that.
Anonymous says
A lot of kids have never died
Anonanonanon says
As the parent of an 11-year-old I’m frustrated. To the point where I’m exploring ID requirements for vaccines in surrounding states…