This post may contain affiliate links and CorporetteMoms may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.
My husband recently put one of these (though without the net) in our truck, and it has made it feel so much more organized. This bar sections your truck so that things aren’t rolling around inside. In the photos shown, they have groceries lined up, but I use it for more “permanent” items in my trunk to keep them from rolling around and getting in the way of other items. For example, my bar is placed further back and keeps my umbrella stroller, restaurant seat, and reusable grocery bags that all always live in my truck, sectioned away. That way the rest of the truck space can be used for groceries, etc. I like that this one has a net, and I can see myself stuffing it with emergency diapers, wipes, and maybe even a change of clothes for my son. It is $32.49 at Amazon and eligible for Prime. Ratcheting Cargo Bar with Storage Net This post contains affiliate links and CorporetteMoms may earn commissions for purchasesmade through links in this post. For more details see here.Thank you so much for your support!
Sleep help! says
Hi – Posted yesterday late in the day and posting again in hope of additional response (thanks to those who did respond!). Sleep help please! Our six month old’s sleep is getting worse not better. She goes down just fine but then is up every two hours or so and only goes back to sleep when we feed her. I’m at a bit of loss given our restricted options: we are in two bedroom apartment and our toddler is in the room they’ll eventually share so we have to leave the baby in our bedroom until she sleeps enough not to wake the toddler and the toddler’s a great but light sleeper. We tried CIO at 4 1/2 months and unlike our older kid it didn’t work well – it got her down at night no problem but never worked for middle of the night wake-ups and we folded after a brutal week and half (for real — we were totally committed but it definitely failed). I’m not willing to do CIO again after that experience. We’ve also already tried a sleep consultant and didn’t see much improvement from her suggestions so I don’t really want to do that again. We do eat, story, song, down awake at 7:30 and she goes down just fine but then cries at each night wake up until we feed her. Any suggestions or resources to read to get our lovely but deeply stubborn baby to sleep more consistently at night?
AwayEmily says
Oh man that’s a tough one; I’m sorry! I don’t have any brilliant ideas — my usual advice is to do CIO but it sounds like you got one of those babies who it just doesn’t work for. What did the sleep consultant tell you to do? (it might help to hear what else didn’t work).
In terms of books, my favorite is Janet Kennedy’s The Good Sleeper. It’s evidence-based, and it gives practical advice for CIO and also non-CIO methods (I feel like so many books insist on one way or the other, which I find so annoying because different methods work for different kids). So maybe check that out?
DrPepperEsq says
Night weaning + loading up the calories during the day.
Anonymous says
What kind of solids is she getting? If you are just starting BLW, she is not getting many calories from solids. At 6 months we had to shovel in the yogurt, cereal, and purées to keep up with our very active baby’s caloric needs. Milk and formula just weren’t enough.
Sleep help! says
Good call – we did just start with BLW and she does seem to want more. Totally open to trying purees on top of some real food.
Sleep help! says
She had us make sure she got a last nap of the day between 5-6. It definitely helped but didn’t quite do it and now she’s started daycare and isn’t napping enough during the day. Maybe I need to push daycare to help her nap even more?
NYCer says
Nap form 5-6 and then bed at 7:30? Anecdotally, my almost 6 month baby wakes up from her last nap of the day at 4pm at the latest and is asleep for the night at 7pm. Maybe you could try that? I am surprised that a sleep consultant suggested a 1.5 hour wake window before bed.
NYCer says
Also, it may be time to drop down to 2 naps per day if you haven’t already.
(I realize this isn’t addressing your feeding issue at night – but just trying to be helpful about ideas that may help her sleep better overall.)
Clementine says
Um, not advice, but… my oldest kid was a crummy sleeper. Started sleeping through the night around 22 months.
Regardless of what we did, he woke every couple hours during the night. It’s just part of his deal.
On the other hand: super chill kid, very easy in many other aspects.
Cb says
Yep, my son didn’t sleep through the night until I fully weaned at 18 months. We’d sleep train, have a few good weeks, and then regress again. Weaned + sleep trained and he was sleeping through the night within 2 weeks – they were a horrific two weeks though. He’s also super chill, easy kid.
GCA says
I had one of these too! He didn’t sleep through the night until age 2 regardless of what we did. Also an otherwise very chill and easy kid – he’s now 4+. Around 7 or 8 months we decided it was all about survival and we just went to bed really, really early. So no advice but…solidarity.
BUT THERE IS HOPE: around age 3 he started trotting off to bed on his own. Grandparents bought him a super cool junior loft bed for Christmas and he was so excited to sleep in it that he goes down and stays there till morning.
Bonus: he was our first, so expectations for kid 2’s sleep were rock bottom and we have been pleasantly surprised.
Clementine says
+10000 to the fact that it totally lowered our expectations for other kiddos’ sleep.
Every other kid we’ve had has been a great sleeper. I truly thought we were doing something wrong, but NOPE. Sometimes it’s just the kid.
Ashley says
I have read some sleep advice saying it’s normal for some babies (especially BF ones) to still need a night feeding until later. Will post link in reply to show what I mean. It at least gave me some comfort when mine was night waking well past what other sites said was a “normal” age to need night feedings.
Ashley says
https://www.babysleepsite.com/sleep-training/night-feedings-by-age-when-do-you-night-wean/
Ashley says
In case link gets stuck in mod, search the web for Night Feedings by Age on the Baby Sleep Site.
Anon says
Neither of my kids were great sleepers. Same as you, we tried CIO and had to give up after a brutal two weeks. We also tried a sleep consultant, and also had to give up as none of those suggestions worked either.
YMMV, but basically we ended up co-sleeping. The baby was next to the bed in a rock n play until they could roll over, and then she/he started sleeping in bed with me. My husband slept in the spare room. The baby could nurse at any point during the night without any of us really waking up, which was the only way for all of us to survive. (I figured it was far more dangerous to drive them/me while sleep-deprived, opposed to a 5 month old sleeping in the middle of a flat king bed with no pillows and blankets.)
My daughter night-weaned herself around 12 months so we started putting her in the crib when we went to sleep, and letting her sleep in there until she woke up. By maybe 14 months, she was sleeping through the night in her own room. My son followed roughly the same pattern, but started around 9-10 months and was in his own room by 12.
There’s hope, because after those truly awful first years, they are excellent sleepers now. We joke that they just had to decide on their own that it was time, as they’ve slept through the entire night ever since. (They’re now in elementary school and can even sleep through me having friends over for post-bedtime drinks.)
So Anon says
This is what we ended up doing as well.
2 Cents says
We cosleep too, though there’s enough room for hubs, baby and me (and we are not small people). So much easier to just pop a boob out whenever baby wanted (since he seemed to be good for 2-3 weeks, then go through a growth spurt that required multiple night feedings). When he was 15 months, we started him in his “big boy bed” (aka crib mattress on the floor next to ours), where he sleeps for a few hours. Once he wakes up in the middle of the night, he joins us for the rest.
AwayEmily says
this is so sweet. My children both DETEST being in our bed and I’m always a bit jealous when I hear stories like this.
Anonymous says
She may have been too young for CIO the first time? I know it scarred you but babies change weekly, so it could work if you try it again. We did Ferber not extinction CIO, but my ped. Says pure extinction works faster (but feels more emotionally brutal). Waking up at night is normal for some 6 month olds no matter what western society tells us. FWIW my DD didn’t sleep consistently through the night until 18m when we did Ferber. Teething or some other illness always interrupted her good stretches of sleep
anon says
even if kiddo is a bad sleeper, there is no reason for a 6 month old to have to eat every 2 hours. is baby teething? are you opposed to trying to give a bottle of formula before bed? if she is bf when she wakes up, have you tried having DH give her a bottle or give her water?
Sleep help! says
Not at all opposed to formula – DH has started doing half the night feedings with formula. I nurse her before bed so I don’t think formula would add much then. If we try to just sooth her back to sleep she will cry for hours without falling back to sleep. Thanks
anon says
what if you give her water? she might be waking up out of habit and water can help reduce that habit. or decrease the amount of formula/bf you give her
Anon says
You have to be careful with water at this age…I think the rule is no more than 2 oz/day. More than that can damage the kidneys.
Anon says
How recently did you start solids? Is she farting a lot? For about a month after starting solids, my daughter had horrible gas that woke her frequently at night. She always wanted to eat at the night wakings. I guess when their tummy is upset from gas they can confuse it with hunger? Anyway we ended up talking to the ped who said we were doing too much too soon and had us back off solids and do much smaller portions of solids, and more milk, and it got a lot better. It’s fine for milk/formula to be their primary source of nutrition until 1 year and apparently some kids have more sensitive stomachs and need to start solids. ( Fwiw, by 11 months my kid had self-weaned from milk/formula bottles because she was eating solids so well, and she would eat adult-size portions of literally everything we offered her. Now she’s a toddler who does’t eat anything except mac n cheese and bagels with cream cheese, but I don’t blame that on introducing solids more gradually.)
Anon says
I have no advice but am so sorry. That is incredibly rough! I assume you’ve called your pediatrician about this? Sometimes they have ideas since they’ve pretty much seen it all.
Anon says
This is how my daughter was. 6 months was actually the worst point for us in terms of sleep (she literally slept better as a newborn). We night weaned, using CIO, to get down to one night feeding (usually around 2 – 4 AM). It was rough but effective, as she went down to one night feed within 3 nights. We then dropped that last night feed around 10-11 months, using CIO again. She slept through the night after 2 nights of CIO. It was not fun but worth it for the quick results. She’s been a champ sleeper ever since.
For us, starting solids (roughly 5.5 months) and supplementing with formula (around 10 months) made a huge difference. My daughter also started crawling and pulling up around 9-10 months, so I think she was more tired from all of the physical activity as well.
Katy says
Lots of probably good suggestions on weaning BUT in my experience letting the wee one eat as much as he wanted WHEN I DECIDED it was feeding time made CIO work. It helped that i wasn’t back at work but i gradually spaced out the feeding times and it took from 6 – 7 months to move a 1 AM feeding to about 4 AM. He did eat tons during the day and adopted solids really well but he was too hungry. We still had wake ups to CIO, but it just didn’t work if he wasn’t eating. (then magically at 8 months he moved to 5:45 am wake up. By 9 months he slept 8 pm to 6 am. He never slept 11 hours until 2 years. I really think he was hungry. He grew out of all his clothes that month and learned how to crawl.
anonanony says
Something that folks haven’t mentioned here that the 2 sleep consultants we worked it were always emphasizing:
— it it the right temperature? 68-70 degrees, baby to have onesie, jumper/sleeper thing, and then light sleepsack
— is it dark enough? do you have blackout curtains/blackout shades?. Can you put a towel under the door so light doesn’t leak in from there?
I’m not sure if these things were the thing that worked for us, but for our daughter she is just a bad sleeper and I do think adjusting those (particularly temperature) made a difference.
CPA Lady says
I got a “foldable car trunk organizer” off of amzn and it is magical. Especially for the summer when we’re going to the pool a lot. I keep kiddo’s puddle jumper in one compartment, a bunch of beach towels in another compartment, and normal trunk stuff like a first aid kit and car battery charger in the other compartment. It really cuts down on the trunk chaos.
So Anon from yesterday, you should get one! It is a small thing I got that has made my life easier and better and way less visually chaotic.
Anonanonanon says
I just read yesterday’s comment section, and want to second the suggestion to keep a set of cleaning supplies in each bathroom. When I was a single mom that was a small “splurge” that made all the difference, and it’s something I could still do today! I was able to clean the bathroom while my young son took a bath, or pop in to clean it immediately after putting him to bed across the hall, etc. without having to trek up and down stairs with supplies. It’s so much easier to stay on top of that with the supplies right there.
Once my son turned 8 I started keeping method brand cleaner in there and having him clean his own toothpaste out of the sink, wipe down the counters, etc. I usually have to go behind him and redo some stuff but at least we’re learning.
A swiffer on each floor is helpful as well. I love my cordless dyson vacuum, and the ultimate luxury would be a vaccuum on each floor.
MNF says
Seeking Vacation Advice! We’re headed on a week long vacation next week to a beach house with my in-laws, our nanny and our 4mo. I feel like we’re already packing our entire house (pack and play, gathre mat, stroller, DH wants to bring highchair but I’m pushing back) and we’ve also got the beach stuff packed (umbrellas, beach wagon, cooler, etc.). We’re not planning on having the baby on the beach much – she’ll stay at the house with the nanny for nap/play time from 12-4 each day. We’re EBF, so I’ll bring pump and bottles but don’t need baby food.
What am I missing? Any other tips for first vacation?
Anon says
Why would you need a high chair if the baby isn’t eating food yet?
Anonymous says
Yes this. Don’t bring a high chair
MNF says
Haha true. We have her at the table for dinner at home because she gets FOMO and wants to what we’re doing with that food stuff. I’m glad that I can tell DH that the r-e-t-t-e-s said no.
Anon says
If you have a dishwasher and you typically use that for bottles, I would bring a basket for all of the small parts with (or a mesh laundry bag – that works too), or if you handwash I would bring a bottle brush and an extra dish towel to lay out for drying (vacation rentals never have enough dish towels IMHO). Don’t forget baby sunscreen, swim diapers if you intend to take LO in the water at all. Not sure why you need the high chair, but I imagine with you guys, the nanny and the inlaws, the baby will not be wanting for arms to hold him or her. If you’re staying anywhere where you can get delivery or there is a quick target run nearby, I would definitely pick up diapers and wipes there rather than packing them.
Redux says
Definitely call the beach house and see if they have any of that stuff there! When we’ve stayed at family-friendly places, they often have a pack-n-play (bring your own sheet) and a high chair there, and beach houses often stock umbrellas, chairs, and other beach things. You might have to wipe that stuff down, but IMO it’s better than packing/schlepping your own.
Emily S. says
Also check with the rental agency about house supplies. We rented linens but I was surprise to find that the house did not come with hand soap, dish soap, toilet paper, trash bags…etc. A quick run back to the grocery store was no big deal, but it would have been nice to know.
I’ve always found it helpful to have a loose meal plan for the week and a good grocery list so we can stop at the grocery store on the way in, so that when we get to the house, we unpack everything and then stay put for the rest of the day.
We also bring a bag of toys from home for the house (a few old, and a few new). If you have one, a monitor, baby’s favorite lovey, and twice the sunscreen you think you need. The key for fun and relaxing beach trips with babies for me has been low expectations (of my kids, my in-laws, dinner) and then I’m pleasantly surprised and delighted! Have fun!
NYCer says
When we went to the beach house with our baby and a similar group of people, we brought our Baby Bjorn bouncer seat and her play mat/gym. It was extremely (extremely!) helpful to have both of those items with us because we had somewhere to put her other than propped up on the couch or bed or floor. Granted both the bouncer and the play gym fold flat, so they were easy to transport – but I highly recommend bringing something similar.
Beyond that, we also brought her infant tub because I am incredibly lazy to deal with giving a bath in a real tub or the sink. But we were also there for 3 weeks, not 1 week, so for a week you may be able to manage without.
Anonymous says
For the tub, I recommend the inflatable ducky one from Target (I think it’s skip hop maybe?), as it’s super easy to travel with. Another though, in a pinch (and while watched), we’ve used a baby tub (particularly the plastic inclined variety) as a baby container in the living area on vacation. Dry and lined with a blanket, it’s basically the same thing as a bouncer.
Physicians Assistant? says
Trying to start seeing a GP (seems like a good idea?) – my appointment tomorrow got cancelled and they rescheduled me with a Physicians Assistant. Does anyone see a PA rather than a doctor? I’m very annoyed – it was an insurance thing. I have a complicated medical history if that makes a difference…
I don’t have any particular issues right now and already see a cardiologist, neurologist, and hematologist (complicated medical history!) if that matters. The scheduling woman tried to convince me I was better off with this PA because she is very good. Don’t want to write her off but my vacation/PTO days are precious.
Anonanonanon says
I have a number of specialists as well, as does one of my children, and I usually actually prefer to see the PA or Nurse Practitioner at the primary care practice. Now we’re part of an integrated HMO (Kaiser) so it’s less of an issue, but when we weren’t the GP’s office was really just somewhere I went if I thought I had strep throat etc. and I feel like PAs and NPs are just generally better listeners (sorry to stereotype). I always felt like it was a waste of medical resources to see a PCP just for an annual physical when any actual medical issues I have are managed by specialists.
GCA says
This is my approach too. I see a NP for primary care and a couple of specialists for other things; with both pregnancies (no issues with either) I saw CNMs (certified nurse midwives).
Anonanonanon says
Also, as someone else with chronic health conditions, I sometimes felt like I had to almost defend my specialist-developed treatment plans to a PCP who didn’t have access to all of my other medical records (again, now that I’m in an integrated system it’s a world of difference). There was a lot more of “well did they try this? did they try this? what happens if you don’t take it?” etc. than I was comfortable with.
Anon says
A PA almost killed me, so I refuse to see them, except in consultation with a doctor (when I was pregnant my OB alternated appointments between her and a PA and that was fine because she was overseeing my care and I didn’t feel like I needed to see her in person every week). But I would not see a PA who is not being directly supervised by a doctor. Assistant is in the title!
Although fwiw, I don’t have a GP. I have an OB who sort of acts as a GP and will refer me to specialists as necessary, and then I have a couple specialists that I see semi-regularly.
Tweeter says
I see a Nurse Practitioner who I think is fantastic. Takes her time, listens to my concerns, gives useful advice, etc. Obviously all that matters here is your comfort level but I wanted to give you my experience if helpful.
anon says
i’ve never seen a PA, but i have seen an NP. Nurse Practitioners get a lot more training than PAs
Anonymous says
You might be thinking of an MA, not a PA. NPs and PAs get pretty similar training. NPs often have work experience in nursing before they get the NP licensure, whereas a PA usually does not have that same experience (clinical hours are an admissions requirement but it’s not the same). This is not a requirement though.
anon says
NPs have to get a nursing degree as a prerequisite to their NP degree
Anonymous says
Usually, NP programs require a BSN coming in, but they do not all – some just require a bachelors plus relevant prereqs exactly the same as PA programs. I don’t really see a BSN as superior to a bachelor’s and the pre-reqs required for a PA program. If you’re happier with an NP, that’s fine, but it isn’t true to say they have a lot more training.
The main difference is in their framing. NPs tend to be more holistic, and focused on well-being. PAs are trained more in the medical model of illness-first. But there is so much individual variation there are tons of exceptions there.
Em says
I think it depends a lot on the individual. The dermatologist I have been seeing for 10 years is a PA and he is fantastic. When I first saw him, after seeing several other dermatologists who were MDs without success, he was able to get me on a good regimen to address my acne. I have also always seen NPs for my gyn care (other than when I had my son, in which case I alternated between an OB and my NP for my appts. and the OB delivered my son). NPs are MUCH easier to get into quickly than an OBGYN, which is a priority for me if I have a yeast infection or something similar, and my appointments never get cancelled due to another patient going into labor. The caveat though is that my NP has not been great about treating a more complicated gynecological issue I have, but my primary care doctor (who is an MD) was able to treat it.
Anonymous says
How is it an insurance thing? I refuse to see NPs or PAs for physicals. I will see an NP for illness.
OP says
The doctor I made an appointment with months ago who is listed as accepting new patients under BCBS on their website is, in fact, not accepting new BCBS patients. Which they called to tell me today when the appointment is tomorrow. The PA is the only one who had availability tomorrow who accepts BCBS.
Thanks everyone for chiming in! Sounds like I might keep this appointment – couldn’t hurt!
rosie says
That’s crappy that they changed it last minute on you. I think it’s worth keeping since who knows if you’ll have a repeat if you make an appt next time with an MD (unless you’re looking at different practices).
FWIW I have a parent who is an MD and recommends that we see MDs who have completed internal medicine residencies (vs family med, I guess) for primary care. I use One Medical and happen to see an MD with this training as my PCP, and try to see her from a continuity of care perspective as well, but I’m happy to see an NP or PA if I need a quick appointment and that’s who’s available. I saw an NP for a derm check and thought was she wonderful, plus much easier to get on her schedule than the MDs in the practice.
Redux says
My kiddo really wants to give all her little daycare friends a gift when she leaves them to start kindergarten in a few weeks. Her idea was to give them each a quarter, which is hilarious but not quite on the mark. Any ideas for a little parting gift from one kid to another? There are 12 of them in all. I would love to give a photo of her with each of them, but that would require asking her teacher to take those photos over the next week and I don’t want to put more on the teacher when I know this transition time is very busy for them. Other ideas? My regular goodie-bag ideas are not cutting it here for lack of sentimentality, but maybe I’m projecting since my kid was fine with literally paying them for their friendship.
Clementine says
IDK…. my kid would be pretty psyched about a card and a quarter.
Anon says
I don’t think it needs to be overly sentimental. Your regular goodie bag ideas are probably fine. 100% don’t ask the teacher to take the photos, that’s completely inappropriate.
Anonymous says
Let the girl give them a quarter! This is not at all a thing, except that she wants it to be, so let her do her thing. A sentimental gift is just you showing off to the other parents, the tots don’t care.
Anon says
+1 and she isn’t a 2 year old. She’s old enough that a gift “from her” should really come from her, so let her give what she wants, within reason (obviously she can’t give them $100 each or whatever).
Anon says
Awww, I’d just do the quarter idea since it was her idea. That’s pretty cute.
anon says
i’m kind of curious – what was the reasoning behind wanting to give them a quarter? i just did a quick google, and this came up for valentines day using chocolate coins, but what if you printed a bunch of cards, saying something like “good luck in kindergarten, don’t ever change” and your daughter can color on them, sign her name, etc. and then you can attach the quarter? i think it could be kind of cute
Anon says
This is super cute!!
Anonymous says
How about a shiny new lucky penny instead of a quarter?
Anonanonanon says
Love this idea. I think it’s a great compromise between doing what your daughter wants to do, and adding a bit of context to the quarter for the parents who find it in a backpack :)
IHeartBacon says
I loved that the OP’s daughter wanted to give a quarter, so I was just going to say that she should allow her daughter to do it.
I really love this idea of how to present it!
SC says
I think a card and a quarter would be fine–she’s not paying them for their friendship, she’s giving them something they’d all love to have! I also think your regular goodie bag ideas would be fine–my kid has loved small play dohs, wikki sticks, ring pops, and stickers in goodie bags this summer. (Also, I love the wikki sticks and totally want more!)
Spirograph says
This is really sweet of your daughter, and I agree to let her give everyone a quarter! My son is going into 1st grade and still treasures a little painted rock (like, just painted blue, not elaborately or anything) that one of his preschool friends gave him. With kids, it is literally the thought that counts.
CPA Lady says
My 4 year old would be pumped to get a quarter from a friend!
Redux says
Ok, you’ve all convinced me! A quarter in a card it is!
daycare turnover? says
How much turnover is reasonable in a daycare? I ask bc my toddler’s teacher just put in 2 weeks notice, which means he’ll be on his fifth teacher in barely 14 months. 2 teachers got promoted, two quit (one for a much better position, I’m not sure why this one is leaving.)
This is in NYC, and in an area where a lot of daycares are opening but it’s expensive (2500/mo). Should I be concerned or is it just kind of standard for a major metropolitan area?
AwayEmily says
That seems like a LOT. I have had 2 kids in four different daycares for a combined ~6 years (including in major cities) and we’ve had two teachers leave — one left after having a baby and one went back to her home country. Both times the other main teacher was still the same (our kids’ daycares tend to have two main teachers per room).
Still, it’s possible that this is just random chance — can you chat with parents in other rooms to see if they’ve had similar experiences?
Anonymous says
This is not what you want to hear, but I actually think 2500/month is not expensive for infant care in NYC. Daycare is expensive, for sure, but that isn’t on the higher end to my knowledge.
Five teachers in 14 months is too many, I think. Where are the teachers getting promoted TO? Most centers I’ve seen only have a few people in administrative leadership, and so promotions would be more to a ‘lead teacher’ role or something that is still in the room with the kids.
For reference, in my kid’s first 14 months there was one teacher who was hired and then fired in her infant room because she wasn’t doing anything other than fooling around on her phone. But that was the only departure that affected my kid. Another teacher she had ended up leaving the school, but after my kid had left the infant room for the toddler room so I’m not counting that.
Anonymous says
That’s a lot more than we paid (in Brooklyn at an “in-home” center), but there is a wide range of prices. It sounds like a lot of turnover to me. But honestly, at our daycare I wasn’t even told who all the providers were, so we may have had more than I realized.
daycare turnover? says
In NW Queens, and for toddlers (not MN), but fair enough, I agree there are centers where I could be paying more. I was more providing the number as a point of reference. The daycare only opened maybe 2-3 years ago, so I’m not sure how much history there really is to ask about. I’m going to chat with the director – I was already displeased the last time teachers turned over (the teacher got promoted to the next room up).
Anon says
It’s a lot, imo. But low teacher turnover was one of our primary criteria in selecting a daycare. I also agree that $2500 doesn’t sound high for NYC. We pay that in the suburban Midwest.
Wow says
Where in the midwest are you? I’m in Chicago and I’ve never heard of anyone paying that much!
Anonanonanon says
I think that’s a lot, and I learned through experiences with my first child that it is usually a red flag. I now ask about teacher turnover when touring new centers.
Spirograph says
I wouldn’t necessarily count the promotions as “turnover” if they are staying in the center. I’m imagining that they were promoted to lead teacher and therefore moved to another class.
Daycare work is a stepping stone position for many younger teachers, and it’s not reasonable to expect they will all stay forever. If the teachers who are quitting are older and going to a different daycare vs moving on to a different career, I would be more concerned.
daycare turnover? says
Thanks. I’m going to feel out the teacher today to get a little more info on where she’s going. The last one who quit got a DOE job (way more $$$) so I totally understand why she moved on.
rosie says
Looking for advice for hiring babysitters. I’d like to get a list of sitters to call for date nights & sick days/backup care (we are transitioning from nanny share to preschool). I have already found some folks and have been checking references. I tend to want to have a face-to-face meeting with the sitters before I actually hire them for a job, though. Should I have them come over for an hour or two (paid) to meet them & chat and have them play with my toddler a bit? Should I just hire them when I don’t actually need a sitter to hang with my kid for a bit while I’m around the house (or maybe run out for a quick errand if I’m comfortable)?
Anon says
After talking with candidates on the phone and calling their references, I hire them for 1.5 – 2 hours to meet with them in person. For me, I like to see them with kiddo before hiring them for longer periods of time.
AMama says
Does your area have a sitting service? We signed up for a service where they do background checks and training, and then help arrange sitters for you (Sitters Made Simple- national with local franchises). We’ve had great success with them for date nights and emergency coverage, so you might want to ask around and see if there is something similar in your area that people recommend. Saves you some time to have someone else do the vetting- worth it to me for the annual membership fee!
SC says
I usually hire sitters for 1.5-2 hours, talk, and observe with kid while you do something at the house (or run out quickly if you’re comfortable). I’ve also hired a sitter and had him come over for about 45 minutes before we left the house. But (a) he came highly recommended, (b) had a job working with children, and (c) I could have decided not to attend the event with no issue besides sunk costs.
Legally Brunette says
Need to vent. I was talking to my mom, whom I love dearly and who has done a ton for our family. I was telling her that I got together with my college friends for dinner a few days ago. Her response? “Well, make sure that you’re spending enough time with the kids!” This is basically her response every time I do something social for myself, and I find it so maddening and frustrating.
I never feel mom guilt UNTIL someone else says something that makes me feel that I should feel guilty. Aaaahhhhh
I hear about couples who got on vacation by themselves sans kids (or even a weekend by themselves) and I feel like if we did that I would never heard the end of it from family. And honestly, I don’t even want to do that. But I need my social time with friends.
Anon says
Just out of curiosity, why do you not want to go away sans kids? That sounded kind of judgey.
avocado says
It didn’t come across as judgmental to me. My attitude towards no-kids vacations is “good for her, not for me.” The fact that I find it more fun to experience new places with my child does not mean I think that people who enjoy child-free vacations are wrong.
Legally Brunette says
Yes, exactly. We enjoy going on vacation with our kids, especially now that they are school age (younger was way harder, which is why we did beach vacations where we stayed in one place). I’m not knocking those who go without kids. It’s just a personal preference for us.
Anon says
It didn’t sound judgy to me at all. I also don’t want to take a no kids vacation. I don’t judge people who do, but that is just not something that interests me just like playing golf doesn’t interest me but I don’t think there’s anything wrong with people who play golf.
anon says
wait – there are people who only want to travel with their kids? does this mean that at some point i might feel like that too? i have 1 year old twins and traveling with them is just so exhausting that a no kids vacation sounds wonderful to me
Anon says
I have a 1.5 year old and traveling with her is definitely exhausting, but I’m still not really keen on the idea of doing a real vacation without her. If we had local family (we don’t) I like the idea of going into the city, getting a nice hotel for a night or two, getting massages and having a really fancy multi-course meal at a restaurant we obviously couldn’t take her to. But no, I have no desire to go to Europe for a week without her. It’s not so much that I “want to travel with her” but more just that I “don’t want to travel without her.”
I don’t judge anyone who does enjoy traveling without their kids, it’s just not for me.
lsw says
You might, you might not. I love traveling both with and without the kids. Totally difference experiences, obviously!
SC says
I don’t know how you’ll feel, but I enjoy vacationing with my 4-year-old much more now than I did when he was an infant or toddler!
That said, I still enjoy solo travel (business trips mostly or short trips to see family). And while DH and I have only taken one VERY quick trip without Kiddo, for a wedding 3 years ago, but we are looking forward to a big 10-year-anniversary trip without Kiddo next year. That will actually be our first just-us/just-for-us trip since our honeymoon, and probably our last until our 20th anniversary.
Oh yes says
You’re Indian, right? solidarity. I think part of it is a cultural expectation that parents (moms especially) take their kids everywhere. The idea that parents need a date night sans kids every once in a while is a totally foreign and strange concept for my parents. My older sister has a child who is 12 and they have never.been.on.a.date.night.
Ifiknew says
I’m Indian and this is very much cultural norm, kids go everywhere and having time without them is selfish etc. Then I see moms who are soo burnt out and not at their best that it’s obviously just baloney. So many hugs, you need things for you.
Legally Brunette says
Yes, I didn’t mention it in my post but I’m sure my mom’s response is driven by cultural norms. My parents never went anywhere without us as kids.
My mother in law lives with us and makes similar comments so between the two of them, it’s just so annoying. Sigh. Thanks for letting me vent. :)
Anon says
I’m not Indian but I’m the only child of a SAHM whose parents literally never left me with a babysitter. My parents are horrified that my husband and I have left our toddler with a sitter TWICE IN HER ENTIRE LIFE. (My mom is also horrified she goes to daycare, but that’s a separate-ish issue.) On the plus side, I don’t get any judgment from them when I go out with friends, so long as my husband is with her, so I guess that’s a win?
anon says
this is interesting because I am also Indian and as soon as I was old enough to watch my brother, my parents would frequently leave us at home alone for social events (different from vacation, of course). We generally vacationed very little, though I suppose the few that we did go on were all as a family. Once I was older, my mom would often go on longer trips to visit her family back in India and my dad/grandma would take care of us by themselves.
Wow says
Are you Punjabi or North Indian? I feel like going out to parties is very much a North Indian thing, but I don’t see it in South Indian culture.
anon says
ha, no, South Indian actually. I always joke that my parents’ social lives were far more exciting than mine have been in middle age, relatively speaking. I remember them going out almost every weekend and I have nowhere near that number of social invitations lol.
Wow says
Oh wow. Your parents were party animals. :)
anon says
If it’s any consolation, my mom tells me to go out without my kids more. I get this all the freaking time and it’s super annoying to be told how to run my life, especially without offering to watch my kids.
Anonymous says
Hahah, my favorite it, “you look tired. You should take a nap!” Umm, okay, I’ll get right on that?
Anonymous says
I just want to remind you all to cherish every moment. (KIDDING!)
Redux says
this made me LOL!
Legally Brunette says
Snort. You sounds like my mom. :) :)
Anonymous says
You didn’t mention whether you hired a babysitter or whether a co-parent was with the kids. Just to be clear, both are perfectly acceptable. However, I will say that when DH and I take time off with our friends like this, usually the parent that is home with kiddo has some really fantastic one on one time. Simple things like an unexpected trip to the park, a picnic on the driveway, an special dessert, dinner out, whatever. And, honestly, I think that special quality time between the other parent and the kid(s) is super important. Equally important to your social time. When you talk to your mom, consider that aspect and highlight it.
Legally Brunette says
Husband was with the kids, good point on highlighting the special time they get with him. These are usually evenings though when it’s the usual dinner/bath/bed grind, so I guess I haven’t really thought of it as special time for them per se.
Thanks everyone for listening.
rakma says
So this is a pick the right moment kind of thing, but I’ve started responding to my Mom’s sort of snide comments like this with “why do you think that” and/or “good for you, not for me”.
Some fun conversations we’ve had include “Yes, you were married and had two kids by 23, good for you, not for me” and “So why do you think I work too much?” Usually it just is coming from a place where it isn’t a decision that she’d be comfortable with, and she’s not good at realizing other people have other wants/needs/priorities. We’ve been having variations of this conversation since I was a teenager, I’ve just gotten less antagonistic about it.
Ashley says
Some beach towns have rental companies that will bring a full crib to your rental for a small rate (think like $10/day). I didn’t know this until recently but I think mine would’ve slept better in an actual crib. And then you could leave the pnp at home!
Anonymous says
We did this when visiting my parents who winter in a beach town. Worked out SO well. DD never slept in a PNP.
Ashley says
Oops, mistake on threading but obviously this is for MNF above!
Anonymous says
What are your favorite baby/ toddler shampoos? We are close to finishing our bottle of cradle cap shampoo and I don’t think LO needs it anymore. She has fine curly hair, but no specific needs.
Anon says
We just Johnson & Johnson because our toddler flails a lot so getting shampoo in her eyes is kind of inevitable and we want something that won’t cause a lot of pain when it gets in her eyes.
Emily S. says
We currently use Suave Pure Fun; one daughter has long straight hair and the other shorter, wavy hair, and it works fine for both. We’ve used the teal and orange bottle varieties and both smell nice, too.
farrleybear says
I use Shea Moisture shampoo on kiddo. It has mild scent and doesn’t lather much. He has pretty thick hair, but I don’t think it is overly moisturizing so should be OK for kids with finer hair too. I love their conditioner/ hair mask for me!
Anon says
My kiddo has very fine annie-type ringlets. We use J and J no more tangles separate shampoo and separate conditioner, and then use cantu for kids detangling spray to comb it out when it’s wet. I hide all the brushes and don’t let anyone near her curls dry. Using an old t-shirt rather than a towel to dry also cuts down on frizz, but this is real life and so it’s typically a hand towel I grab out of the closet. When she hits her pre-teen years she can be more fussy (and less fuzzy).
Anonymous says
We use the J&J combo shampoo/conditioner on my DDs curly hair and then my devacurl conditioner on the ends. I use a coconut oil detangler and don’t always brush it after a bath, but usually do. No one brushes her hair dry ever. I may comb a little if I’m doing braids.
Anon for this says
I have really small bre*** like 32a.im 5’4″ and slim so it’s okay for my body but I’ve been insecure about it my whole life. I had a guy I was casually seeing in college tell me he wasn’t “into it” which compounded how I feel. Now I’m bfinh and they are amazing normal sized and I hate how my husband loves them and while he says he loves them normally too, givem how he notices bigger brea*** I know he’d like it more if they were bigger. I just don’t know how to make peace with this, I’ve considered surgery because we’re done with kids but I can’t imagine how to tell my daughter sges beautiful and perfect if I cant do it myself.
I know this is horribly immature and sounds like a teenager but it has really been bringing me down. Many thanks for any kind responses.
Anon for now says
Research shows that seeing body types like your portrayed as attractive, desirable, s*xy really helps change your state of mind. One really amazing example of a small brea**ted woman being the absolute most desired woman ever is Outlander. Have you watched that? Caitriona Balfe is extremely small and is absolutely WORSHIPED in those s*x scenes.
OP says
This is so helpful thank you. I never thought about how literally every single thing ever in society is about big bre**** women,but also just tiny everywhere and impossible for most of us to create.
Anon for now says
Totally!! Watch a few of the better episodes :) It might start to change what you feel when you see yourself. And by the way– this is so not immature! Such a valid feeling, just see if you can expand your thinking!
AnonToday says
Funny I do something similar–self-conscious about big forehead, and I sometimes will remind myself of actresses/models with big ones who are considered lovely. It does help my mindset. :)
Anonymous says
So..my opinion on plastic surgery is if it’s someyhing you want to do (not just for your husband) because it honestly would make you happier/more confident then you should do it , after weighing all the risks that go along with it. Specifically for implants this includes – infection, implants moving, scar tissue, rippling, and needing implants replaced every 10-20yrs. I think if your daughters ever ask about it you can explain your reasoning. Yes ideally we’re all happy with how we’re born but that’s not reality. I don’t think your feelings are immature we all have hang ups about our appearances (thanks, patriarchy!).
Anon says
You forgot the risk of going under for the surgery – that’s not a trivial thing.
Anonymous says
I totally agree! Wasn’t meant to be a comprehensive list haha. Surgery is surgery
good things come in small packages says
All of the “body positivity” messages we constantly hear are about accepting larger bodies, larger chests, and curves. There needs to be some messaging about acceptance of smaller and straighter bodies too. Not everyone can be a buxom “goddess” like the curvaceous larger women who are now featured in so many athleisure catalogues. Petite is perfect too!