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(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Nordstrom – Holiday sale up to 50% off; 5x the points on beauty for a limited time
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Paci weaning says
DS is 3 and still uses a pacifier to sleep. He wakes up crying once or twice at night when he loses it, and we have to help him find it. His dentist suggested weaning him off by cutting his paci a little shorter each week. Last night we gave DS the shortened paci, he was confused and sad, didn’t want to use it and cried for 45 minutes before eventually falling asleep. I was up half the night feeling guilty that we cut his paci without any warning or explanation. When he woke up at 5 am DH gave him the regular paci so we could sleep for a couple more hours. I want to stop trying to wean him right now and wait to see if he gives it up on his own in the next year, but I frequently cave on things like this. Should we pause or keep going?
Tweeter says
He’s 3! You absolutely have to keep going. Fwiw I pulled pacis from my paci loving kid when he turned two and it was two relatively painful bedtimes and then that was that. You’re doing him a disservice if you allow him to keep using it at this age. It will only be worse if you try to remove it as he’s older, more vocal, can be more physical if angry, etc.
Cb says
I think you’ll just keep dreading it if you put it off. This time next week, he’ll be fine, and you’ll be relieved not to have to deal with this in another year.
Anon says
Yeah I took mine away at 18 months. Two bad nights and that was it.
For a kid that’s 3 I would do the pacifier fairy thing where you box it up and the fairy takes it and brings a toy.
anon says
Yep, it sucks for a few nights but then they learn how to sleep without it. (My kids didn’t have pacifiers, but were thumb suckers and had to stop cold turkey around 2.5 when their thumb had a sore on it that meant it hurt to suck. Falling asleep was rough, but she got through it.)
Anon says
What about doing the whole pacifier fairy takes them away and brings a toy? I feel like the advice for cutting it would be for much younger kids.
Anon says
+1 – at age 3, I think you will have a much better result if the child buys in, as there is more emotional attachment. All three of my kids used a pacifier or bottle until ages 3.5. We started telling them about the “fairy” concept regularly around age 3, with no pressure to actually give up the comfort item. All 3 kids ultimately told us when they were ready to give up their item, and it was a painless process in each case. We also read a book on giving up the comfort item. Each started by saying that when they were a big kid, they’d give up their comfort item, to eventually them saying they were ready to be done.
Anon says
I think from a dental perspective there’s not a huge rush. I have an aggressive nighttime finger sucker and the dentist said it’s not something we have to worry about until she has permanent teeth. But we don’t have to get up in the night and if we did that would motivate me to make a change for sure.
Spirograph says
I’m surprised your dentist told you this. My oldest was a thumb sucker and our dentist started warning us around age 3-4. granted, I think he did keep sucking his thumb into K so he probably had a couple permanent teeth before he finally stopped, but the orthodontic bill from thumb-sucking….
For my pacifier addict, we did the paci fairy around 3-3.5 and swapped it for a stuffed animal. She was a full-time paci-user, but our experience was similar to others in that there was a bad few days, then she got over it.
Anon says
I think we have a chill dentist. But also I admit it’s not something I would be really stressed about even if the dentist was concerned. Orthodontics are a near-certainty given our family history.
Emma says
We also have a thumb sucker and my husband is a dentist. He’s also reasonably chill about it- he says we ideally want to phase it out sometime between 3 and permanent teeth, but ultimately we may need orthodontics and it’s not the end of the world. My kid never loses her thumb and is a good sleeper so I’ve chosen to pick my battles.
Anona says
My parents bribed me with an expensive toy to stop sucking my thumb the summer before kindergarten – it was expensive, but not as bad as braces! My son is a thumb sucker, and I would do the same thing if we get there.
Anon says
But many kids who never sucked their thumb or quit by age 5 still need braces. It’s not either/or.
anon says
Yep. DD never sucked her thumb. Used a pacifier until 2, so not really that long. Her bottom two teeth in the middle fell out and the adult teeth are growing in a pretty deep V shape inward. Genetics point to the fact that no expensive toy or “good” habits will prevent future, and probably expensive and significant, orthodontia for us.
Anon says
I had a pacifier until probably 4, old enough to remember the fight to take it away. It messed up my permanent teeth. It was fixed with braces, so not a huge deal, but I had terrible buck teeth as a child. I still have a tongue thrust. I have no idea if that is typical.
Anon says
Yeah, my niece used a pacifier and then was a thumb sucker for a very long time (feel like she only recently stopped sucking her thumb around 5?) and at 6 her teeth are….f%#*ed up. I get the thought that “we know our kids will need braces anyway” but why let intentional damage happen that can be prevented? Also, as someone who needed much more than braces (an expander, head gear, etc) – if you can prevent any of those extra steps, I would say it’s well worth it. They’re not fun.
Anon says
Eh I disagree. I had “complex” orthodontia as a kid, including headgear (only had to wear at night) and didn’t think it was a much bigger deal than just having braces, which literally all my friends had.
As to why not take it away, because it brings some kids a lot of comfort and helps calm them and improve behavior. If they’re going to need braces anyway (which I believe the vast majority of kids do) I don’t see a huge benefit to fighting a big battle to get them to quit thumb sucking earlier.
Anonymous says
Whether an expander is needed or not is unlikely to be affected by a pacifier. Having a narrow upper jaw is just a factor of genetics and development. I needed an expander and never regularly used a pacifier or sucked my thumb.
Anon says
Orthodontics can be a miserable experience, and it’s definitely worth reducing the odds of it going on longer in my opinion.
Anonymous says
I let my kids keep the pacifier until 4 because I was worried they would become thumb suckers as a replacement which does more damage is harder to break.
Anonymous says
Keep going. Tell him that next Sunday the paci fairy is coming to take them away because he is a big boy now. And then actually do it. Don’t set him up for painful expensive teeth problems because it’s sad he’s upset a few nights.
Anon says
My kid was 3.5 when we finally took the paci away, and she used it more than just at bedtime. Here’s what worked for us. She was old enough to talk to about it/understand, and we used the binky fairy idea. She bought right into it. She got a reward for not using it (a toy that she g previously told us she wanted and the fairy brought her after that first night). We also went cold turkey. Binky fairy came one night and took all of the binkies (we had…a lot). We maybe had a few nights of restless sleep, but that was it. I definitely think a 3 year old is old enough to understand the concept that the paci has to go away. The fairy idea provides some novelty and reward. Also, we had talked about the binky fairy taking it for at least 2-3 weeks before the actual day that we took it. By the time it happened, she was READY to give it up and see what reward she was getting. She was still using the paci during that time, so I know she wouldn’t have just stopped using it on her own. But when prompted by us, she gave it up.
GCA says
Keep going! In a year he won’t even remember it. Consider just going cold turkey and telling him he is a big boy now (and to give the pacifiers to a baby who needs them, and sub in a new stuffy or toy). I had a dedicated paci addict till he was 3, and then I lost the last paci on a flight. Being 6 months pregnant, I literally could not bend down to reach under the seat for it – so it was gone. he was a little sad but he adjusted in a day or two!
Anon says
Agreed that he won’t remember — but I’d add that at 3, you do need to tell him what’s going on and coach him through the emotions of the change. I think taking it away without context or discussion makes it more sad, and more likely he fights longer because he doesn’t understand what’s happening.
Anonymous says
Dental issues or not keep going because you don’t want this sleeping crutch. It’ll be fine by next week! I wholly agree with the paci fairy. Or take him to target and let him pick a toy as a reward for giving it up if you aren’t into fairies.
Anon says
We just did the “paci fairy” with our paci addicted 3 year old this summer and it worked like a charm. He only used to sleep but he LOVED his paci, so I was skeptical it would work but it was a non-event. He went cold turkey on the paci with no tears and minimal disruptions. I would keep going and maybe consider trying the paci fairy tactic?
Anon says
Frida Baby has a pacifier weaning system that I was tempted to try. We didn’t end up needing it, but it’s something you could look into buying to make it easier.
Anon says
Give your kid a new stuffed animal to hug at night instead of a pacifier. It will help you both feel better. You and your child can do this! Have faith. Stay strong.
Anon says
Does anyone have a Bumbleride stroller? The eco-friendly specs appeal to me and there seem to be decent reviews, although I’m not sure I’ve ever seen one in the wild. Three follow-up questions if you do have one:
First: how is the “infant ready” component? It looks like the seat reclines to 8 degrees, which to me isn’t “100% flat,” but I guess it technically meets requirements to be called “flat.” Does it seem like your infants were secure in there? I’m wondering if we could skip purchasing an bassinet if the seat really does go mostly flat. We would want to have a safe, non-reclined nap option while out and about.
Second (and maybe others could chime in too): Any thoughts on three-wheel jogging-style versus four-wheel strollers? Bumbleride has options for both and I’m torn on what we might need. We may occasionally go on trails, but not rugged ones. Most use would be on walking paths and perhaps some travel. The one additional benefit of the four-wheel option from Bumbleride is that it has a reversible seat (so the infant can face you or away from you), which I do think I would like. The three-wheel option doesn’t have that, but it IS compatible with their optional bassinet. The options would be four-wheel stroller with reversible seat and bassinet compatibility or three-wheel stroller with non-reversible seat and bassinet compatibility. We would also have a compatible infant carseat for either, but I don’t know if I like the idea of using that as the primary infant option since it doesn’t recline all the way. Help??
Third: Am I going to hate that the basket only has a 10-lb weight capacity?
Welcome any opinions!!
Anon says
We have a Bumbleride— four wheel version and it has held up remarkably well for our 3 boys. We have a six and four year sit in it still every once in a while. When my kids were infants we just had them in the stroller without a bassinet. I actually preferred the Bumbleride to our BoB jogger for going on longer walks/trails.
Anonymous says
I had the three wheeled bumbleride indie for two kids—now 7 & 4. LOVE LOVED it!! Favorite of the full-size strollers I bought/sold: Nuna Mixx (first stroller with first kid, it was meh. We replaced it with the Indie when I saw a friend’s and I had stroller envy) and UB Vista (bought it for second kid bc of the second seat and piggyback board—-older kid liked riding with little sibling for about 8 months and was over it…so I sold the Vista and switched back to the Indie)
The 3 wheels and air-filled tires meant it was so much easier to steer and maneuver than our stroller with 4 wheels, especially over uneven bumpy sidewalks in my city neighborhood and unpaved wooded hilly trails in the park (I hated the Mixx’s movement…too top heavy and total beast to pop over sidewalk curbs). And the Indie had a surprisingly compact fold and fit in our then smaller SUV’s trunk “portrait mode” (Mixx had to go in “landscape” grrrrr). The basket was fine…we definitely carried more than 10 lbs. The Vista’s basket was amazingly huge and we would use it on grocery/ hardware/ikea trips.
We don’t run so can’t personally speak to the jogging stroller aspect, but our friends trained for marathons with theirs (and said it’s much more lightweight than other brands)
FWIW, the reverse view is over rated for my family. Both my kids as babies much preferred looking at the neighborhood vs looking us. And IME, the joint where the seat can turn on its adaptor is a weak point in stroller construction and is susceptible to squeaks when babe is heavier; that joint makes the seat not as stout feeling as a stroller that does not turn the seat.
Cb says
A recommendation – my son tends to struggle with denser pages of texts in the early reader chapter books and we got those colour overlay reading rulers and it’s made a huge difference. He doesn’t need it at school but I think he’s naturally a bit more squirrelly when we are doing reading HW at home, and this helps him focus.
Anon says
I had that when I was little! I was a great reader but just liked the novelty.
Cb says
I feel like I might steal one for when I’m reading denser articles, proofreading something.
Anonymous says
Related: there are “I survived” graphic novels! We just discovered the graphic version of these which my 2nd grader loves but they sometimes are more than she can handle solo, depending on her attention span.
CCLA says
Oo I am going to look into this, thanks for the rec. The dense pages of text likewise seem to overwhelm my young reader and anything in her favorite color tends to be a hit.
Anonymous says
I need weather/rain boot type ideas for my second grade girl. Size 2 shoes. She doesn’t like the galosh style ones e.g. hunter rain boots. I’m thinking of some kind of shoe she can wear in wet weather and keep on during the day without having it be a big process to change. Sort of like L.L. Bean duck boots, which they don’t make in young kids sizes… At least in color she likes. We live in New England so ideally they’d be a little warm and not just rubber, but I’m not looking to replace true snow boots. Ideas?
Anon says
Have you looked at Reima?
Anon says
Would she like waterproof hiking shoes/boots?
AIMS says
Sperry makes a version of the duck boots. https://www.sperry.com/en/kids-boots-1/#prefn1=bigKidShoeSize&prefv1=2
Keens also ales waterproof hiking boots that could work.
anon in brooklyn says
My second grade girl just wears the combat style boots from Target for wet weather and any cool weather that’s not cold enough for snow boots. They keep her feet dry enough, and we’re NYC, so she’s doing plenty of walking in the rain.
Anonymous says
OP here- we had doc martens last year but they bothered her heels. Maybe it’s time to revisit!
Anonymous says
Is the issue that she doesn’t like rubber around her calves? My kid prefers the ones that are rubber around her feet and neoprene above her ankles, because they’re a lot more flexible for playing.
Anonymous says
Two parts- she doesn’t want to change out of them at school (and is hot and uncomfortable in them if left on) and she finds them annoying generally. She’d wear them for quick errands but not to school.
Anonymous says
In that case I would go with waterproof hiking shoes. Much cooler than any type of waterproof boot.
AwayEmily says
My husband loves his shoes from Plae and they have some very cute waterproof ones for kids. Not cheap but I’m considering getting some for my second-grader for winter.
Anonymous says
OP here- all the plae stuff I’ve seen looks sort of young for an 8 year old. Do you have links??
AwayEmily says
I was eyeing the “Kaiden waterproof” — but my kid does not care at all what she wears on her feet (literally she wears sneakers 90% of the time and Crocs the other 10%) so we don’t have a lot of aesthetic considerations.
Anon says
Has anyone completely uprooted their family to take on a less intense job? We’d lose the help of our in-laws (actually helpful), social circle, and professional network. There is no option to stay in the same town (or geographic area) due to a very restrictive non compete clause. (Even if unenforceable, there are no other jobs locally).
Anon says
This seems like a really terrible idea. We had to move for my husband’s tenure track academic job and it’s been very hard, even with the (huge!) benefit of one set of grandparents following us. I can’t imagine walking away from family support, close friends and a professional community just to find a less intense job. Surely the non compete doesn’t apply to every job in your city!? Is it even legally enforceable? Have you consulted a lawyer?
Anon says
I’d look for a remote job if possible.
Anon says
This may be easier said than done. Not OP but I’ve been looking for fully remote jobs for a while and everything I’ve found wants someone local-ish who can be in the office at least one day a week. I’m sure this is industry dependent, but in mine there are a *ton* of hybrid jobs that lean primarily towards WFH but it’s very hard to find jobs that would be ok with someone living too far away to ever come in.
Anon says
Non compete clauses are tough to enforce. I would get a lawyer and at the very least, they can talk to your company about it. Would not do the move unless you talk to a lawyer first.
Anon says
+1 my understanding is that non competes are very hard to enforce.
Anon says
Yeah, my employer seemingly violated one and the new hire ran into his old team at a mutual client. Even then, nothing actually happened.
FVNC says
Other than moving “to take on a less intense job,” I think a flavor of this question has been asked a few times with good responses, so you might do a s1te search and see if you can find something helpful. My view, as someone who has moved frequently for husband’s job, is that moving is stressful but ultimately fine if it’s what you 100% want/need to do for your career. Do not underestimate the ability to recreate a close network of family or friends, though; it’s really, really tough. Is your potential new city a place where people don’t leave? Or is there a lot of turnover? We’ve lived in both, and while the former was fine and people were friendly, it was hard to break into social circles that included 40 yr olds who’d been friends since middle school. On the other hand, we’ve lived in a college town and made friends easily because people had moved there as adults and were similarly friend-less! If you are thinking of relocating “some day,” do it asap while kids are young; the older they get the harder it will be.
Anon says
I think moving for a specific job or to continue an upward career trajectory is one thing, but moving just to get a less intense job doesn’t make sense to me. I find it impossible to believe there’s nothing she could do locally (and I live in a much smaller metro area than many people here).
It’s also a lot to ask of your spouse. I moved for my husband’s career and I consider it a pretty big sacrifice. I was willing to do it because it was the only way for him to pursue his dream job, but if he’d asked me to move just so he could lean out it would have been an immediate h3ll no.
FVNC says
Oh, I don’t disagree! Due to all our frequent relocating, the kids and I are done moving, which may mean long distance marriage / long-term solo parenting for us in the future. I was just trying to answer the question asked. Of course people move, for all sorts of reasons — so yes, of course it CAN be done, and we’ve “completely uprooted” our family multiple times and we’re all reasonably fine and happy. But it’s an adjustment and can be really hard and lonely.
Cerulean says
I feel like you’re trading a hard job for a hard childcare and social network setup.
My husband’s previous workplace threatened to enforce their noncompete with him. He got a lawyer and they basically laughed at the noncompete and wrote a letter for him to his employer. I actually have never heard of one being enforced and help up in court.
Anonymous says
No, I have not. However, it seems like this is a great time for leaning out at the current job. My understanding of non competes is that in order to be enforceable, you have to have a very particular set of specific skills (or possibly clients, if you work in sales) that are highly, highly valued by your employer and it would be detrimental to your employer to lose the item you have. Most people don’t actually have a set of skills that meet this threshold, hence why they’re often not enforceable. You may already know all of this.
My overall point is that if you have this set of skills, then the company is incentives to keep you, so seems like you could lean out without harm. Maybe you can’t, but seems easier to try that than to move away.
Anonymous says
Agreed that leaning way out is the first step. I’ve posted this before, but I’m underpaid in a job that doesn’t value me, and for family reasons a move is basically impossible. I leaned way out and now work much less than 40 hours. My annual salary is small but on an hourly basis it’s now pretty great. I know this is an extreme example but I think many people can cut back on effort without getting fired.
Anon says
I too have leaned out at a job but I will say it is hard for my achiever type A personality to accept. I often feel guilty. But I guess that’s life. There aren’t always perfect options.
Lily says
Looking for any recs (the more specific the better) for a house rental (villa or condo?) somewhere in the Caribbean that is not too hard to get to (direct flight preferred) from major east coast city, that can accommodate two families with two kids each (preferably 3 bedrooms, 4 would be great, at least 2 bathrooms) and comes with a staff (house keeping, chef would be awesome).
I’ve tried googling but there are so many websites it’s overwhelming. Also, it looks like many places have a 7-night minimum stay. Is that your experience?
Budget is ideally up to $2,500/night but could stretch to $3,000 for something truly spectacular (especially if food and/or booze are somehow included).
TIA!
NYCer says
Have you looked at Round Hill in Jamaica? It is a resort that has villas as one of the accommodation options. The villas have a staff, but there also are hotel amenities in the compound. I do not believe that they have 1 week minimum year-round, but I suppose it could be the case at certain times of year.
Otherwise, I would check out Le Collectionist or Kid and Coe for luxury villa rentals.
Ifiknew says
Jamaica is the best for staffed villas. there are truly so many amazing ones and I tried to find in other carribean countries with limited luck. just search for staffed villas Jamaica and there will be multiple websites that show you villas and pricing and the number of staff it includes etc.
Anon says
Just an FYI that Jamaica currently has a Level 3 State Dept warning (“Reconsider Travel Due to Crime”), which I think is kind of a big deal – only a small number of countries are higher than Level 2. I also know two unrelated people who were mugged at knife point in Jamaica, although both of these incidents happened a while ago. Many people here seem to be very worried about safety in Mexico, but personally I feel much comfortable in parts of Mexico than in Jamaica.
Anon says
OK, since my completely innocuous post asking for info on a stroller is not making it through m8d, trying again with a very short version: is a reversible seat (parent-facing and outward-facing) a must, would outward-facing only be ok as long as I could get a bassinet attachment for the infant stage, and am I going to hate a storage basket with a 10-lb capacity? Thanks.
Anon says
We used City mini jogger for two kids which is outward facing only (infant carrier attachment faces baby toward you), so yes, it’s fine. We switched to outward facing around 6 months when babies sat up.
The basket is very lifestyle dependent. I wish we had gotten a stroller with s bigger basket. We live in a city and use the basket for small grocery stops in our way home, etc, so I’d want a more robust basket than ten pounds. If you are just going to carry a ball and blanket from car to park, ten pound would not be an issue.
A says
Ugh, also stuck in mod! In short, totally fine. And I would want a bigger basket, but I’m in a city and run errands with stroller sometimes.
anon says
We never had a parent-facing seat and it was fine. There were occasionally times on long walks that I would have liked to be able to look at them, but it wasn’t a deal-breaker by any stretch. Ditto small storage baskets–we could put in the diaper bag and that was good enough for our purposes.
GCA says
As with all stroller questions, I think it depends on your usage! As a city parent who often walked to the grocery store or library with the stroller, I needed that big storage basket. I was also not fond of hooking heavy diaper bags on to a stroller because I would bump awkwardly into them as I walked.
On the seat question, we never had a reversible seat after the infant-seat stage and my kids seemed happy to be outward-facing – as soon as they could sit up, they really wanted to see the world around them.
Anon says
Yeah stroller stuff is so lifestyle dependent.
We live in suburbia and never ran errands with the stroller, but we currently use it to bring our elderly dog with us on long family walks, so that’s one other possible use case 😂
Anon says
We do walk for groceries and ideally I’d like a larger basket, but for a stroller that looks really good otherwise, I’m tempted to compromise. My husband said that we’re shopping for a baby-transport device, not a grocery-carrying device.
GCA says
funny you should say that – I’ve definitely stuffed the groceries into the stroller and put the baby in the carrier before…!! What stroller are you thinking about? Folks here might have direct experience with it.
Anon says
I don’t know, if you regularly walk to get groceries I’d want a larger basket. What is so special about this stroller? There are lots of good options with more storage.
NYCer says
+1. There are so many strollers with big baskets – if you’re planning to use it for grocery shopping or errands, I would definitely not compromise on this.
Anon says
It’s a Bumbleride, which has really good eco-friendly specs and potentially perfect functionality for our lifestyle (their Era option looks similar to the Cruz, which is so popular, but has better tires for trails). It’s also made in Taiwan with (allegedly) good worker protections.
Anonymous says
If you are grocery shopping on foot solo with a baby, you are absolutely buying a combo baby transport and cargo carrying device. You wouldn’t buy a car with no trunk, would you?
AIMS says
I say just get the Cruz. The reverse seat option and under basket is great. It’s no. 4 on this list of eco friendly strollers (below) but honestly it’s a stroller – if you really want something sustainable look for a used one in good condition, otherwise look for something that will meet most of your needs the best because buying a different stroller when you realize that actually you need to carry a bunch of groceries with your baby for the next 2-3 years is way more wasteful. My kids are past their stroller days but I still miss our Cruz at least once a week.
https://www.leafscore.com/eco-friendly-kids-products/best-eco-friendly-nontoxic-baby-strollers/
Anon says
Yeah, I think buying a used stroller will do way more for the environment than buying any particular brand.
Anon says
The Cruz is out of budget, unfortunately. Otherwise, it looks great. We want a stroller we can use from birth and you have to buy the bassinet attachment for that ($$$).
AIMS says
I never used the bassinet attachment – just the baby car seat with cruz for the first 3 months. Not sure if that changes things for you re: Cruz but just throwing it out there.
NYCer says
I never used the bassinet with the Cruz either. The infant insert also is totally fine and much cheaper.
NYCer says
I never used the bassinet with the cruz either. The infant insert works great and is much cheaper.
Stroller Nerd says
I live in a large European city where we walk, take public transit, and drive in equal measures. It sounds like you’re asking about an ultra compact like the Babyzen Yoyo or the Joolz Aer, which we have and love. It’s amazing on public transit, for popping in the trunk of a car, and when you need to go up and down some stairs. That being said, it’s still much easier to also have a full-sized stroller for errands and if you have a feisty toddler (our son started being able to tip the Aer at 18 months if he didn’t want to be strapped in). Napping is also much better in the full-sized stroller, as is carting around a scooter or balance bike when he gets tired of riding.
Although most people think of parent-facing up to age 1, we actually turned our older toddler back around to face us because being able to chat with us has noticeably helped his speech development. When we’re on public transit, it’s easier to give him water and snacks and to check on him if he’s being naughty (taking off shoes, tossing things away, that kind of thing).
There’s a blog called Annainthehouse, and I find her reviews to be very detailed and accurate. The Stroller Workshop on YouTube on the other hand is very good about stroller mechanics, but his recs have terrible insight into how a particular stroller works in day to day life.
Anonymous says
ITry it out in person if at all possible. It can be really hard to figure out what is going to be comfortable for your body.
I live in NYC, used our stroller daily for walking to/from daycare, and also grocery shopped with it. We had a City Mini equivalent from Britax with a small basket and no bassinet. For us we wanted one-handed fold (to get on/off bus while holding baby), light (to carry up/down subway stairs etc), and compact and easy to fold (for storage at daycare – had to be folded – and in our small apartment). The small basket wasn’t ideal for shopping but I got real creative. I would put a half gallon of milk on the foot rest, light stuff on top of the awning, bags hanging from stroller hooks, etc. For cramped city grocery stores, a narrow stroller is going to be a lot easier to deal with in their narrow aisles.
FWIW, for a newborn, you might like using a car seat + snap in car seat stroller frame like the Key Fit Caddy. This kind of thing is often easy to find used as it has a short lifespan. Then you could get rear/parent facing and a huge basket. You could also use a baby carrier and a granny cart instead of a stroller.
3 other things you might not have thought about:
(1) 1 handed steering – strollers with 2 handles are hard to push straight with one hand.
(2) related to #1, get a poncho because it is can be really hard to push a stroller and hold an umbrella at the same time
(3) strollers can be really hard to push through the snow – larger wheels are better for this.
Sciatic Pain says
I have really, really bad sciatic pain from my current pregnancy (31-32 weeks along). Genuinely the only relief I’ve found is laying in bed with a heating pad. No seated position in any kind of chair, hard or soft, provides relief, particularly when having a really bad flare up, like today/this past weekend. PT, stretches, etc are merely a brief band aid of relief but then I revert to the mean shortly after.
I had it with #1 > 5 years ago when my boss in my very male dominated world was a (very supportive) woman a few years older than me. It wasn’t as bad at the time but I wouldn’t have had a second thought of approaching her for some flexibility to WFH.
This time I have some pretty tone-deaf men as bosses. I’m an MD in a client-facing role in a competitive niche of finance. Our work flow and comp is pretty similar to a partner in a law firm, for some context. We’ve been 5 days in the office since the earliest day allowed after the onset of covid. Am I out of line / ridiculous to ask for some flexibility for the next few weeks? I really don’t want to “leave before you leave” so to speak – being pregnant and on mat leave is hard enough in my world but, my god, I’m dying today. I would never WFH on a day I had meetings scheduled, but we also do a lot of zoom and emailing so theoretically this should be feasible. I’m trying really hard to “not leave until I’m on leave” so to speak but I’m brought to tears today thinking about suffering like this for another 6-8 weeks. How would you handle?
Halp!
Anonymous says
Do you have any “wellness” rooms? I used to go lay down in the nursing/wellness rooms during my first trimester so I was technically at work when required to be.
Momofthree says
Would pursuing Short term disability before your labor be an option? If the optics of that look bad, I understand, but if you can’t be in the office due to pain, then this is the sort of thing Short Term Disability exists for.
Anon says
Working from home is probably better than doing your work poorly. Honestly, I doubt many people would notice especially on Monday and Friday – they’ll assume you are traveling. I’d also really consider taking short term disability to start your leave early. If people are going to punish you for that they will anyway for having a baby, so might as well use your benefits and get some relief.
Anonymous says
My daughter is trying to come up with ideas for her 10th birthday. We are tossing around a Kareoke party which would be Taylor swift heavy.
Ideas on how to make this work as a bday party? We have a huge finished basement which is walk out to the yard and has a hot tub. We have the ability to project movies outside.
This would be an October party in New England so all outdoors might be chilly, rainy, snowy or 85 degrees.
I’m trying to find somewhere to outsource this but haven’t found much. We’ve done in home parties before and as long as it isn’t a sleepover I’m good with it honestly.
DLC says
I’m not sure of the mechanics of hooking up a microphone, but there are a ton of karaoke videos on YouTube. When we have karaoke nights with our family, we just cast to our TV and sing along.
Anonymous says
You can get a microphone with a self-contained speaker on the ‘zon for like $25. It doesn’t have to be hooked up to anything.Or you can do what the teens do and just sing with no mic. You can find karaoke versions of virtually any song on YouTube. The quality varies so I would make a playlist with a bunch of good ones ahead of time to avoid wasted time and rabbit holes searching.
Karaoke is the perfect party activity. If the kids are into the same songs and know them well, they will go on for hours.
Anonymous says
OP here- we have one of those. I’m thinking more about the overall party (how many kids, what to do). Bless her heart for wanting to have it at home but man, I’m not a party planner!
Anonymous says
6-10 kids. Pizza, cake, snacks, karaoke. That’s all you need in terms of activities unless you have so many kids that they start breaking up into subgroups, which is why a somewhat smaller group is better.
Source: Mom of teenager whose gatherings always end up in karaoke
Anon says
Would you find Friday afternoon activities burdensome? I’m leading a Girl Scout troop and my co-leader has a strong preference for meeting right after school. Fridays are really the only day I can do that, and I feel kind of weird about scheduling things for Friday. The girls all go to the same school and the meetings will be held at the school so the logistics shouldn’t be too complicated for most parents.
Mary Moo Cow says
I would embrace Friday afternoon activities if I didn’t have to participate as a parent. :)
Our school is terrible about scheduling family activities at 5 p.m. on a Friday. I either have to take off early or be late and arrive in a separate car than DH and kids. It’s miserable. But a GS meeting on a Friday right after school that I didn’t have to be at? Sign me up!
Anon says
We do GS on Sunday afternoons, so Friday afternoons are probably less intrusive into weekend family time, if that’s what you’re thinking about. My childhood troop also met on Fridays from grades 7-11, and I don’t recall any issues with it.
If you can use the school building on Friday I saw go for it! Our 12 kids go to 6 different schools, so afterschool scheduling isn’t at all feasible, but it will be way easier on you than trying to find another meeting location.
Momofthree says
Friday afternoon is probably fine.
Two things to consider: Does your school have a lot of Fridays off such that you won’t be able to have meetings because the kids aren’t in school?
May not be relevant, but we always have Friday shabbat dinner, so we don’t attend the (many) school events that are planned after 5:30pm on Friday. Sounds like it won’t be an issue since you’ll be doing it right after school though.
Anonymous says
My daughter had Friday sports practice for years. On one hand I liked it because it gave her one day free during the week for homework and downtime (they practiced 4x/wk), but on the other hand it interfered with Friday night fun like concerts and shows and dinner out.
Anonymous says
It’s fine. Unless your meetings are super long it’s not going to mess up the weekend.
We do brownies one Saturday a month from 2-4. It’s not my choice but I’m not the leader and I plan to keep it that way :).