Family Friday: Printed Short Jumpsuit

Embarrassing question, please be kind! A daycare teacher commented on the fact that my 5 year old’s teeth look quite yellow. She said we need to do a better job with oral hygiene. I’m embarrassed but not sure what else we should be doing. We do supervised brushing twice a day and she sees the dentist every six months. She’s never had a cavity and the dentist has never said anything negative about her teeth. I think unfortunately she’s just inherited my mom’s and my genetic tendency toward teeth that stain easily (although in my mom’s and my case, our copious tea consumption is no doubt a factor). She sees the dentist for a routine cleaning next month; is it reasonable to just talk to the dentist then?

My friend and I were discussing the recent article about anti-dopamine parenting that was in NPR: https://www.npr.org/2023/06/17/1182974637/anti-dopamine-parenting-can-curb-a-kids-craving-for-screens-or-sweets

I found this very interesting re: kids, but even more so for myself. I can totally see how dopamine is making me pick up my phone all the time, even though it makes me unhappy overall. I wanted to share this article because I found that it gave a name to a phenomenon that I was observing in myself – that it’s a compulsion to be drawn to the screens (and also to sugar sometimes) and that it’s a “hijacking of a neural pathway” rather than a conscious choice.

I am getting tired of dealing with the mental load of coach’s gifts. I get that they are optional, totally, but still every time a request comes in, I have to think about, do we contribute, if so how much, will anyone know, what’s the right thing to do, etc. I am opposed to them in principle. For some of my kids’ sports, the coaches are paid, from the dues we pay for the league. So, ok, they should be all set. For volunteer coaches such as parents, none of us with busy lives and a million things going on are doing it in exchange for a $150 gift card at the end of the season, and I think it’s an unfortunate thing that a sincere “Thank you,” or someone volunteering for the sake of itself isn’t seen as enough.

Probably obvious that I’m leaning toward just making a blanket rule that we opt out, or making a blanket rule that we contribute X amount every time and just mentally tacking it onto the dues (which is what I wish they’d do in the first place, so I don’t have to worry about Venmo’ing mamalama99 by July 28, repeat for every league with different requirements).

How do you all handle coach’s gifts?

So my daughter is in daycare three days a week and at her grandparents house two days a week. Almost every morning she asks if if we’re going to grandma and grandpa’s house and if I tell her no, we’re going to daycare, she starts crying and whining and getting droopy, and it’s a struggle to get her out the door. Once we’re in the car and at drop off it’s usually fine (although probably 1-2x month there’s also tears at the drop off), and I don’t suspect the daycare of anything more nefarious than her favorite teacher leaving, but it’s just instant and total disappointment when she hears that she’s not visiting grandma and grandpa. We’ve been trying to hype up daycare by mentioning her friends there, and she’s been taking dolls and blankets for comfort, but if anyone has any other suggestions, let me know. This whole routine makes the good mornings bad and the bad mornings awful. She’s two and a half, so she’s hard to reason with.

Do you do last day of school gifts for daycare teachers? We give money at the holidays but have not traditionally done anything for the end of the year, but my daughter has been in her current room for two full years now and wants to give her teachers homemade necklaces. I know this probably isn’t high on their list of things they want to receive, but it seems mean to deny my kid the chance to give her teachers the gift she made. I should add a gift card too, right?

I am the frustrated mom of the nearly 4 year old from yesterday reporting back with two wins to acknowledge that we are inching toward progress. Apparently at the park yesterday, he got really frustrated with another kid, and instead of throwing a huge tantrum, told our nanny he “needed a break,” and walked off by himself – apparently let out a HUGE yell, then came back all smiles. This morning, same thing happened – we didn’t have his preferred breakfast, and had a big fit, so I asked him if he wanted to take a break in his room or sit down and eat what we had. He choose his room, so I took him upstairs, snuggled him up in his bed with his favorite cars and stuffies, gave him a big hug, and he returned in 5 minutes, again all smiles and happily ate the food. So, I guess we are inching towards self-regulation? At least there is more self-awareness than there was several weeks ago when the tantrums were impossible to stop? Yeay for hopefully fewer tantrums post 4?