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Emma says
Hope everyone had a nice weekend! We tried to go to brunch with my toddler, who up until now has been pretty content to sit in a high chair and much on croissant. But she just wanted to run around and shrieked every time we tried to sit down, so we took the food to go and went to run in the park in the rain. I guess that’s life with an almost two year old.
AIMS says
I found that at this age your best bet is to bring little activities for kids when you go out to eat. Small toy, book, crayon and paper, a mini play dough.. I always had a few small items for distraction.
Anon says
+1. We never go out to eat without a sticker book.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Yep. To give you some hope, we took our kids (8 and 5.5) to dinner this weekend and they sat in their seats for an hour, with one reading and the other coloring and looking through a book (“reading”). Husband and I were able to have a conversation. We’re starting to train them on restaurant etiquette. I know some people say to start young but I never saw the point of training toddlers (and we couldn’t really – Covid). This does get better!!
GCA says
This! Mine are almost 9 and 5.5, and these days my big kid is even actively engaged in ordering from the menu and interacting with waitstaff! It gets so much better.
FVNC says
+1. Also, eating outside when it’s an option (or during covid, the only option) helped when the kids were younger – something about the fresh air and more to look at. We also order kids’ food with drinks and ask that it comes out as soon as ready.
Clementine says
Ugh. Husband and I joke that 1 in every 4 times, a meal out is going to be a disaster, but you never know which one. So like, we’ll have a string of 6 meals where our children were magical angels and think ‘Huh! We’ve got this down.’ and then we have the meal where nobody eats anything and nobody can sit and everything is hellish and it takes 90 minutes to get our meals.
It does get better though!! Once they’re 4, they’re pretty thrilled to be treated like grownups at restaurants.
Anonymous says
2-4 is an evil age for dining out
Anonymous says
Yeh we just kind of didn’t attempt eating out often until my youngest (who is a BALL of energy) was 4. It was a disaster every time until then. But now he’s almost 5 and he’s been really pretty good about it this year. The oldest has always been good at restaurants but that’s her personality.
Anon says
+1 – on this age group, for both eating out and traveling. For most kids, it eases up between 4-5 and actually becomes fun for all involved.
Leatty says
If it makes you feel any better, we took our 3 and 6 year old to dinner on Saturday. While there, the 3 year old pretended he was a cat and a dog – got on all fours on the bench and under the table, meowed and barked, wouldn’t respond to his own name (only kitty or doggy), laid on the bench, etc. Fortunately the restaurant was loud and it didn’t seem to bother anyone. My 6 year old, on the other hand, was wonderful.
We’ve also had success taking their tablets to restaurants when the 3 year old is tired and grumpy or we are with other people we want to talk to. I don’t love doing that, but sometimes we do it to make things easier.
Anon says
There is absolutely no way I’m paying $45 for a bottle of nail polish. Nope.
anon says
I think it’s for the whole set. That’s a great price for six polishes!
Anon says
Yeah that is bonkers! Chanel nail polish is less.
HSAL says
Yeah it’s for the set so a fine price per bottle, but I’ve finally trained myself to stop buying makeup sets because of the good per-piece price when I don’t love all the colors and won’t use them. Also, it’s no longer on sale.
anon says
Ugh, you speak the truth. I love the ideas of sets and palettes, but they rarely work out in practice.
AIMS says
I got one of these nail ”concealers” and just do not get the allure. It’s a neutral pearlescent color, you still need to make an effort to make it look good, and I felt like I fell for a marketing scam. Sincerely not sure why this is getting constant raves here. For me, best “low effort” manicure is either a plain all purpose top coat or if I have 4 min instead of 2, one coat of Essie’s sheer Pink Glove Service followed by one top coat of any top coat over.
Anonymous says
I used a regular polish from this brand and it completely trashed my nails.
GCA says
I’m with you. And I’ve never figured out how to make at-home fingernail polish stay nice after a day or two, even with base and top coat!
TheElms says
I think this depends on your coloring. The Essie color is too pink on me so sort of stands out whereas I have one of the Londontown nail concealer colors and it works really well with my skin coloring as a 1 min manicure option.
Anonymous says
I love this stuff. I think it’s so nail dependent. I can’t get dip manicures to stay on, but this polish will last multiple days with a quick home paint job. It’s been a game changer for me! I am not a talented self nail painter. You do have to remove with acetone remover. FabFitFun offers great deals on this polish if you are a subscriber.
Anonymous says
Our preschool sent us a list of our teachers’ favorite restaurants and suggested giftcards for teacher appreciation week. Woudl it be tacky to get them Doordash cards instead? I don’t have the time to go to each of their restaurants to get separate gift cards.
NYCer says
I would get them Amazon or Target gift cards over Doordash, unless you know they order delivery regularly.
Anon says
If they’re chains like Applebee’s or Red Lobster you can probably get the gift card at Target or the supermarket. A lot of chain restaurants do that.
But otherwise I think Doordash is fine, and maybe even preferable because they have flexibility about where to use it.
anon says
+1. Kroger near us sells tons of gift cards.
Anon says
Are these restaurants like Starbucks and Chili’s? Drugstores and grocery stores usually have huge displays of gift cards to all sorts of chains, so you could get them all at once.
Anonymous says
Can you just give cash? I’m sure the teachers would prefer that over literally anything.
Clementine says
I don’t know about you, but we’ve never been allowed to give straight cash at daycares/schools. Maybe it’s a regional thing? Gift cards are fine.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Cash is king and what I always give our daycare teachers. It’s never been an issue in my area (greater Boston).
Anonymous says
In NYC cash is always the answer
FP says
If your preschool is anything like ours, the teachers probably listed a few chain restaurants like Chipotle etc. Most grocery stores or stores like Target carry a selection of gift cards. I’d just try to do one stop and grab from their list as best I can. I would not get Doordash only because the fees add on a ton, which is fine but if someone is on a budget and wants a better value, a store gift card is best.
Anon says
FYI you can do pickup on Doordash which eliminates all the fees. It obviously reduces the convenience factor, but wouldn’t provide worse value than a store gift card.
Anon says
Personally, I would do target or a visa gift card over DoorDash. If your preschool teachers are anything like mine, they are not ordering delivery because they don’t have that kind of disposable income. I guess if you give a really high amount, they might use it. But if it’s like $25, it’s probably going unused because it wouldn’t cover a meal. But I am a strong believer that something isn’t a gift if it requires recipient to use their own money for something they wouldn’t have otherwise purchased.
Wtf weekends?? says
I have a very active two year old who requires almost constant supervision. Weekends are absolutely killing me right now. I didn’t know I could be this exhausted on an ongoing basis. My husband takes over completely Saturday late afternoon through Sunday morning so I get a break. I’m not doing a ton of housework but I am catching up on random things around the house (cleaning out the pantry, cooking a couple of meals, getting me and the kid organized for the week, etc.). Sunday night I can barely function and the last two weeks my feet have been aching for a couple of days after. I’ve been less patient with my kid Sunday night and Monday morning than I prefer and generally just don’t want to feel this way. Am I doing something wrong or is this normal for this phase of life? I’m my husband is very involved and supportive, I just don’t understand how I’m supposed to recharge when my down time is more exhausting than my work week?
Anon says
Can you plan a solo outing each weekend? Maybe you need a focused 1-2 hour break instead of feeling like you need to putter around and do housework. A walk through the neighborhood, an hour at a coffee shop, a workout or a shopping trip you enjoy, etc. Put away your phone and be present to the “rest time”.
Also, what activity makes you feel most like yourself? Make sure to fit that in. For me it’s reading; if I don’t read during the course of a day, I feel off. So I read in spurts while my kids play or nap or dig in the yard, and always at least a few pages at bedtime.
(I’m a SAHM of four so I am all kids, all the time. I know how mentally draining it is!)
Anon318 says
+1
I COMPLETELY understand OP’s situation and have been there (and sometimes find myself falling back there) myself. In case it is helpful, I like to frame my energy levels in terms of energy balance: what is giving me energy and what is draining it? Housework and caring for small children are almost always drainers for me, but putting my little kids in the stroller, walking to a favorite coffee shop for a treat, then to run around at the playground used to be an energizer instead of a drain. Now that my kids are mid-elementary school, I know if I have an hour or so to spend on my favorite hobby on Saturday it multiplies the energy I have for draining tasks later. Appropriately managing my energy balance is the difference between collapsing into bed desperate for a break and collapsing into bed thinking, “that was a wonderfully full day.” For me, looking forward to something (date night, trip, delicious meal, etc) can be an energizer that doesn’t cost time or energy. If you can’t reduce the drainers at this time, maybe think about how to increase the energizers.
Anonymous says
This is so well put.
in the last 12 months, I put “hard” exercise on the backburner. 6 weeks ago i signed up for a 200km cycle*. I have to train for it so i literally have to make the time. I have raised $10 k for charity, so i can’t really not show up.
My hubby has been supportive and i feel SO much better even though i have another thing to do on the weekend. I know that sounds really hard, but a short amount of truly me time might be better than 1/2 day no kid duties, but you are still doing stuff for the family (even if you like to cook etc.)
*typical cycle for me prior to this commitment is 8 – 10 km – so big adjustment. On Sunday AM, i did 50 km with a group of other parents with young kids (mostly dads this week), we were home by 8:30 AM. i was exhausted, but i also felt great and so much more ready to take on the day than an half hearted 30 min basement workout with a kiddo feeling the need to touch my yoga mat the entire time.
Anon318 says
Go you for signing up!! And, WOW to that fundraising achievement!
Cycling is actually the hobby I take a few hours for each weekend, as well. I used to be a serious endurance athlete pre-kids, but that all went to the wayside in favor of garage workouts and getting as much sleep as I could in the early days of parenthood. Speeding around on two wheels makes me feel so free and so much like ME again!
Anon says
+1 to this. My kids are 3 and 6, and weekends have been exhausting lately, but seem to be turning a corner as DS #2 approaches 3.5…*fingers crossed*
I also find that a little planning helps a lot in making sure the energy management/energizers are there. Joining the Y has been a big help – it’s built in time where kids are in child watch, I can exercise, and depending on the season/interest, the kids do an activity, too (e.g. swim class, dance class).
I also use kid nap/rest time as my own. It’s now turned into Me, DH, and older kiddo on the couch in various stages of sleep/watching a show/reading. It’s pretty great. At most I’ll do some household management on the computer but that’s it.
Finally, others have suggested this, and I know some on here don’t love this, but DH and divide and conquer a lot, and have standing recharge time where the other is on kid duty.
Anon says
I’d want a home helper if I were you (or an actual babysitter and an afternoon at a spa!), but possibly also a medical check up (something relatively simple like a sleep or a vitamin issue can massively exacerbate exhaustion at least for me).
Anon says
does your kid nap? i used to take a nap the first 20 minutes of their nap time and that would give me some additional energy. also- do you have a place in your house that is totally kid friendly where you don’t need to constantly supervise? it is funny how every kid is so different bc age 2 was my favorite with my twins
Anonymous says
OP here – more naps sound great! I honestly love this ago too, he’s absolutely adorable right now. It’s still exhausting. He’s a climber, very determined and I think smarter than me. The only 100% safe place is strapped in his high chair which he is quickly outgrowing. We didn’t foresee it at the time but the dresser we bought for his room is very easy to climb on. He also climbs on his play kitchen. I joke with my husband that our house just needs to be stripped down to nothing so we can relax.
I appreciate everyone’s suggestions!
Anon says
Anchor the stuff to the walls and after that, I’d sort of see what happens-most kids won’t recklessly jump off even if they climb up (they may get stuck and scream for you to help them down but you don’t need to prevent the climbing necessarily)
Anon says
Agreed, if you can make one room in the house safe (a bedroom or a playroom) then it is way less exhausting then if you’re constantly removing him from unsafe situations.
AIMS says
Cleaning out the pantry isn’t relaxing! I think it’s normal to be exhausted if you are spending your “down” time doing things that most people would put on their “auto-do” list like cooking more than one meal and tidying. The only solution that works for me is to scale down my to do list entirely. I have drawers in my house that haven’t been organized in years but it’s either everything is perfect or I take some care. I would try to take a walk or do something else to completely unwind for a few hrs over the weekend and see if that helps.
Anon says
+1000. Cleaning and tidying isn’t relaxing. Get out of the house so you’re not tempted to do those things – lounging on a blanket in the park while your kid runs around with other kids will be a lot more relaxing.
Leatty says
This age is brutal! A few things that helped us:
-I’m an early riser, so I get up with the kids while DH sleeps in. When DH gets up, I get a few hours of alone time. I usually nap, read a book, or do something else that is relaxing during that time. The kids are NOT allowed to disturb me during this time.
– We require a couple of hours of nap/quiet time every day. They can play quietly in their rooms, nap, look at books, or watch their tablets.
– We have a sitter for a few hours every Sunday afternoon. We use that time to do chores around the house, relax, work, etc.
-Periodically, I take a random day off and send the kids to school/daycare. Sometimes I do things around the house, but others I do absolutely nothing (and it is glorious!).
Hang in there – it will get easier.
Mrs. Rose Nash says
Question on your Sunday afternoon sitter situation. I assume the kids and the sitter are home with you? Do they bother you? I feel like if we tried to stay home, the kids would want to hang out with us, and not the babysitter.
Leatty says
Yes, most of the time we are home while the sitter is there. We encourage the sitter to spend a lot of time outside with the kids, which helps. They usually bother us once or twice, but the sitters generally do a good job keeping them engaged. We also try to stay out of sight as much as possible.
Anonymous says
It’s hard. Could you go do something fun instead of “chores” while your husband is on duty? When my twins were little I’d grocery shop. I got the time to myself but it was also productive. Could you get a babysitter? It doesn’t have to be on the weekend. Now that my kids are a bit older, it helps to get out of the house. We usually go to the park. I’m thinking about finding them a Saturday morning activity so they’re not in the house fighting. Also, it does seem like there might be more going on with you: is your job especially exhausting? Or could there be some underlying health issue? Hang in there.
anon says
Different, but same. We have a 6 year old and 5 month old. I was falling asleep on my drive in this morning. I had to pull over in bumper-to-bumper traffic to sort of get it together. I think working out would help, but I don’t know how to fit that in. And, don’t tell me “jUsT pRiOriTizE iT!” because, no.
So, nothing but solidarity. I keep repeating to myself: it’s a season. it will pass.
Anonymous says
I think this is why some people like to be on the go all weekend, especially with kids who will still sit in the jogging stroller.
Cb says
Yep, definitely. No one can make a mess if they aren’t home. And the soft play or children’s museum is likely less hazardous.
An.On. says
Are there house things that you can do during your time with the kid so you don’t have to do them on your down time? Mine is that age and loves being helpful by carrying or holding things. Laundry, dishes, even just getting paper towels or carrying food to the garbage when you’re cleaning out the pantry. And we put a disney movie on if we need time to cook or rest.
Anon says
I hear you and often also find myself physically exhausted! A few ideas:
-you need time to actually rest, not do chores. And ideally at a time you aren’t around the kiddo because part of your brain will always be tuned to him, so either you leave your phone in your purse and read a book at a coffee shop or take a walk or your husband gets out of the house with the kiddo so you can do your thing in peace and quiet.
-Can you do any of the chores while kiddo is around? Like he is wreaking whatever havoc and you are folding laundry or emptying the dishwasher? It would be a lot to actually watch a kids every move all weekend; see if there are any spaces he can be hanging in that are safe if you aren’t constantly vigilant.
anon says
I do actually believe in Jesus, but a good 25% of what gets me going to church right now is the baby-and-high-energy-preschooler-free time. Baby goes to nursery, preschooler goes to Children’s Chapel; after the service baby stays in the nursery and preschooler goes to Godly Play (Montessori-based Sunday School – it’s awesome). I either hit our adult book group (which discusses secular books primarily and is super interesting – we’re reading The Anxious Generation right now – or I just grab a coffee and sit in the garden and read. Then after Sunday School wraps up, my preschooler plays on the playground for like 45 minutes. I don’t have to get the baby until either he needs to be fed or the late service gets out. It’s a solid 3-4 hours where my kids have having fun/getting good care and I am doing things that fulfill me.
AwayEmily says
I have a 2yo as well (along with a 6 and 8yo) and one thing that’s helped us avoid the weekend exhaustion is finding a few places where kids can be fairly free-range without a lot of supervision. For us that’s one specific library branch that has a huge play area, a few specific playgrounds that have toddler-friendly structures (i.e. no sheer drops), and a local outdoor amphitheater that’s fun to climb around on. I usually meet a friend with similarly-aged kids at one of those places and we chat while our kids run around. It is WAY more relaxing than supervising them at home.
Also, I second the “take a nap while a kid naps.” I also do not try to do any housework while supervising children. Usually one of us take the kids out of the house for a few hours while the other parent does the necessary weekend chores. It’s SO much faster when there are no kids around.
Anonymous says
It sounds like this is your first/only child. Honestly the truth of it is you need to figure out how to adjust from live with no kids to live with kids, which is….not as peaceful as life pre-kids.
We have 3, so our house is always a zoo. When we offload one to a grandparents or a friend for the night it’s like….30% less noise in the house and like a vacation.
– You need to find things to do with your kid that you find relaxing or fun. Two is a tough age for that, so you might need to dig deep. Playdate with another family at the park in the sunshine? Drive to a pretty park, ocean, etc. and stick your toes in the sand while the kiddo plays?
– Wake up early and use 5:30/6am-10am on the weekends as your time.
– identify what you need to feel relaxed. Is it social time with other adults? Make a playdate or schedule a brunch when your husband can hang with the one. Or send DH to grocery shop while you do whatever your activity is.
– hire help to clean your house
– order out, don’t do meal prep
Anonymous says
I have a high energy 4yo and a medium energy 7yo. The youngest has always operated at 100mph and has a super fun and friendly personality but oh my goodness has he brought me to the point of exhaustion and tears more than anything! Staying home on a weekend is a recipe for disaster. What works well for us is intense outdoor play. If he’s high energy then he’s probably really coordinated. We go on long hikes (he could do 2 miles at age 2) or playgrounds and then we do give afternoon TV time for a break. At that age my DH and I would lay down too. We also lean into church on Sunday mornings as well and play on the playground afterwards. Following that we may go to a brewery that has a playground to wear everyone else more.
Anonymous says
I read this again and have a few more comments – the exhaustion/feet aching thing is standing out to me. My feet only ache if I’ve walked a few miles and THEN am on them a ton in the kitchen and doing a lot of housework. Is it possible there’s something physical going on?
Also – I don’t think it’s particularly realistic to think weekends with a 2yo will be relaxing. BUT they can be rejuvenating and breathe life into you, if that makes sense. You may not be able to sit and binge Netflix or have a long leisurely lunch or whatever you enjoyed before kids, but you can enjoy physical activities with your child and breathe fresh air and enjoy sunshine and delight in things like bubbles or blowing dandelions or picking leaves off of a bush (all things 2yos love). So I found that age partially physically tiring but mentally simple.
Spirograph says
My vote is for normal. I kinda lived for Monday mornings when I had young kids… a quiet desk and a cup of coffee was a vacation after chasing toddlers all weekend. (Actually, I was very happy for this morning, too. It was a rough, rainy weekend.) It seems like you already have a good system worked out with your husband to trade off responsibility and get some potential you-time, which is key. Make sure you’re using that time on something that makes you feel rejuvenated. Suggestions:
1. Lower your standards. It is simply not possible to stay caught up on everything around the house *and* avoid exhaustion if all available parents have a full-time job in addition to the toddler.
2. Babyproof. Anchor all furniture, close doors & put doorknob guards on rooms you don’t want a two year old in
3. Get out of the house. It doesn’t have to be complicated or far, a quick hike, bikeride (kid in stroller / bike trailer), or even just a quick trip to the neighborhood playground is enough. YMMV, but the walls feel like they’re closing in on me when I’m trapped in the house with my kids too long.
3a. Consider church (with nursery care!). My mom used to joke that the reason we went to church is so she could have an hour of peace and quiet at some point on the weekend. I learned she was not joking once I had kids.
4. Enforce nap / quiet time and early bedtime.
Redux says
I am so tired of my 7 year old running holes in his pants. All. Of. His. Pants. have holes in the knees. ALL OF THEM! Sweatpants, “tech” pants, chinos, jeans. I even bought the super expensive Lands End iron knee reinforced pants at almost 40$ a pop. Holes. I do not have time to be perpetually patching pants and I am at my wits end. I know it comes from him playing imaginatively and roughly and I dont want to stifle his physical outlets which his little body and brain needs in the midst of his school day, but at the same time we have to take care of our things! What is the solution here?
Anon says
Have you tried having him wear knee pads over his pants at least for recess?
Anonymous says
You cannot be serious. I’m just imagining what the teacher-and other kids!- would think.
Anon says
I guess I remember what teachers and kids were like when I was a kid, but I thought schools were supposed to be all about inclusivity these days!
Anonymous says
Teachers are not any more interested in taking on extra responsibilities than they were when we were kids. A propensity to rip one’s pants is not a disability that requires inclusivity or special accommodations (teacher reminding kid to put on knee pads).
Anon says
Not sure how much of a social issue this would be, but re:adding to the teacher’s plate, a 7 year old could probably remember on their own. My kindergartner remembers a hat and sunglasses every day for recess with no reminders from the teacher (she’s the only one that wears them) and she’s not what I’d consider a super organized, on-the-ball kid. We did have to do an M&M bribe in the beginning (one M&M for remembering; no penalty for forgetting so as to encourage honesty).
Anon says
Nothing (mom of three boys, after age 5/6 no pants can be passed down anymore). Target pants with “reinforced knees” hold up the longest for us, but still eventually succumb.
Anon says
My 7 year old son is the same, pants are almost disposable at this point. He’s moving into the next size up soon plus summer is coming and he’ll be in shorts so I’ve just been letting him wear the ripped pants to school while keeping the non-ripped pants for when he needs to look more pulled together. He also wears mostly jeans so it doesn’t look *that* bad, I think (I hope?).
Anonymous says
Same. (6.5)
Hoping we can just hold on until summer…..
AIMS says
I find sizing up helps but I hate how sloppy it looks (fully admit this is vain & not like holes look any less sloppy).
Also the one type of pant we haven’t had holes in is adidas type track pants so that’s what my son wears now.
Anon says
+1 Adidas have held up better than any other athletic brand we’ve tried. Also +1 to letting my kids wear the hole-y pants through the spring and then throwing them away
Anonymous says
1. Have him wear shorts
2. Buy secondhand
3. Stop caring
He will grow out of it eventually.
anon says
+1 to Letting It Go.
Anon says
I don’t think there’s a great solution. I’ve found that the $5 Old Navy leggings hold up nearly as well as fancy stuff, so we just buy those in bulk and figure the cost/wear is lower.
Anon says
Save one or two pairs for nicer occasions (no wearing for playtime) and then just let it go and consider yourself a great mom for encouraging lots of active play.
anon says
+1
GCA says
A trousers budget. From size 5/6 onwards I have found that most pants can’t be handed down unless a growth spurt has outpaced the wear and tear.
Spirograph says
Yup. With the exception of “church pants,” and jeans (only because he hates them and they were rarely worn) none of my oldest’s pants survived to be handed down. My daughter puts holes in all her leggings, too, but the youngest (boy) wouldn’t have worn those anyway. :)
Anonymous says
This is me right now with my 5yo. We had a couple of pairs of jeans mended by our dry cleaners, but he tore right through them again. The most frustrating part is that he refuses to wear pants with holes in the knee, even though we’ve told him multiple times that we’re not going to just keep buying him more and more pants. I’m really looking forward to shorts weather.
OP says
OP here. We live in a climate with very long winters, so while my kid may not refuse, it is not possible to send him to school with holes in his clothing for most of the school year– it’s too cold! It is *almost* shorts season here, so this year’s problem will resolve itself soon. But I am really not wanting to be buying 5 new pairs of pants every month for 7 months a year!
Anonymous says
idk where you are but we are in boston and my kids have been in shorts since march. In fact, they fight pants tooth and nail and would wear them all winter, with crocs and socks, if allowed.
Spirograph says
It doesn’t get as cold here in DC, but my kids are the same. We got them thermal leggings for our ski trip this winter, and… they wore thermal leggings + shorts for the rest of the winter (and put holes in the knees of their long underwear). This was a good compromise for me.
Anon says
When it’s actually cold out, would layering possibly help?
anon says
Thank goodness summer is coming? I have not found a correlation between price point and how hole-y the pants get.
I don’t think there’s a great solution, tbh. He will grow out of it, eventually.
Anonymous says
The answer is shorts. And buy cheap pants / thrift store pants if he’s really that hard on them. And/or let him wear pants with holes in them sometimes.
One of my kids is really rough on clothes. I finally told her she doesn’t get nice ones if she can’t take care of them (within reason). She was 100% fine with that.
Anonymous says
Shorts if it’s over 55 degrees out.
Mary Moo Cow says
It’s a pain, but have you tried returning them to Lands’ End? They are supposed to pride themselves on quality and customer service. If it’s been just a few wears or within a few months of purchase, I would contact customer service.
Anonymous says
Is this why in the olden days little boys wore short pants?
anon says
And jeans. The athletic pants, ironically, are no match for what young kids can do. But I never see boys wearing jeans to school!
Cb says
Oof, my mum is here and I handed over a pile of leggings with holes in the bottom for mending. One day, he and his bestie simultaenously fell out of a tree, ripping holes in both their trousers. I think I’d ignore the holes if you can.
Anonymous says
For us it has been an indication that we need to go up a size in pants.
Spirograph says
To give you hope: My newly 11-year old seems to have outgrown putting holes in all his pants. Finally!
However, my 7 and 9 year olds still do it all the time. A few years ago, I bought a pack of iron-on patches from amazon. There are like 20 of them, about 3×5 in various colors, and I can get at least 2-3 typical knee-hole patches out of each of the sheets, so they’ve lasted this whole time. My kids like to pick the color — often they choose some contrasting fashion statement rather than trying to blend it to the pants, and it takes <5 minutes.
Anonymous says
Applying the patches when the pants are new, before holes appear, can help.
Anonymous says
Sew the patches. Buy new pants. He is 7
A says
Cat and Jack lets you exchange if it has a hole within a year of purchase.
rakma says
What’s the 2024 equivalent of Love’s Baby Soft? My 10yo recently found a perfume sample from one of my Sephora orders and is newly obsessed. I don’t want to set her loose in Bath and Body works, but wouldn’t mind getting her something light and fruity or floral? Perfume is not my thing, so looking for any kind of recommendations.
Redux says
One vote for letting her loose in Bath and Body Works! I took my 10 year old there once and she loved it. Generally, I think the body splashes there are better suited to children than real perfume (as much as any product meant for adults can be “suited” to children)– they are lighter and dont seem to linger as long.
My daughter got a little bottle of perfume from my my mom for Christmas this year and she loves to wear it but I (secretly) think it makes her smell like a grandma!
rakma says
The candles at Bath and Body Works are my main experience with them, and they are not my fav, but knowing the splashes are light makes them more of a contender.
I’m trying to stay away from the ‘grandma’ smells, but also trying to allow her to feel a little grown up and put together feeling for some special occasions with out wading too far into makeup.
Anonymous says
Seconded. my 10 year old has a body mist from Bath and Body that is really just fine. She will use that OR a scented lotion, but dear god not both.
anon says
I think letting her loose in BBW is the perfect solution for letting her experiment at a low cost. I personally would not want my 10 yo wearing straight-up perfume.
Mary Moo Cow says
I gave my 10 year old niece a Tony Moly bunny perfume bar for Easter: cute, light scent. My 9 year old likes the body sprays from Claire’s but gag. I have a pretty sensitive nose and I just can’t with those.
Anonymous says
I think the tweens these days want the Sol de Janeiro sprays, but eeeeew they are so stinky. I think Bath and Body Works is probably less gross.
Just for fun I did a search and it looks like there is a version of Love’s Baby Soft on the market. Ah, the memories of wishing for Baby Soft and the candy cane pack of Bonne Belle Lip Smackers in my Christmas stocking.
Anonymous says
Ooh maybe I’ll stick with that, just for nostalgia reasons. My girls were not impressed with the Lip Smackers, but love any lip balm in a tube, so they can stick with aquaphor lol.
Intermittent Explosive Disorder says
Has anyone had a kid diagnosed with intermittent explosive disorder? I was submitting my DD’s therapy to insurance and saw her therapist diagnosed her was “ruling out IED” but when I looked up IED… it sounded exactly like DD. She’s getting a full neuropsych eval this week which I’m very excited about. We desperately need help. I suspect she’s ADHD but with IED on the side. But who knows and of course I’ll leave it to the experts. But intermittent explosive disorder wasn’t something I was familiar with so curious about others’ experience and what ended up helping your kid. Thanks all!
Anon says
I just looked this up. My son was diagnosed with ADHD and anxiety last month, and he definitely has explosive outbursts and aggressive meltdowns. It was our main reason for pursuing the eval. However, when we stepped back we could see there was always some trigger, even if it didn’t make sense to us (an unmet expectation, a misinterpreted criticism, a long day at school, etc). Outside of these meltdowns, he doesn’t seem to be an angry or sad person, but the meltdowns are intense. I think it’s all part of his ADHD, and as I do more reading about the impulsivity/emotionality/rejection sensitivity of ADHD the pieces are falling into place
Anonymous says
My ADHD kids all do this, and it goes away with ADHD medication. I think it may be one of those things (similar to ODD) where treating ADHD automatically fixes the IED symptoms, because the root is really just the trouble with executive function/impulse control.
OP says
This gives me some hope – both of you – thank you!
Anon says
If you don’t mind sharing, what ADHD meds are working for your kids? We’ve tried 3 and none of them seem to touch these sort of behaviors from my 7yo. At the moment she’s unmedicated because the side effects weren’t worth it when we weren’t seeing behavior improvements, but I know she doesn’t like the explosive meltdowns and I’d love to find something to help.
Anonymous says
Adderall. Based on age and weight, my DD should really be at 10mg, but when we upped the dose she had horrible rage-y meltdowns as it wore off so we reverted and have stuck with 5mg. It takes the edge off and she is doing much better (especially socially) in school without such a steep gradient in the evening.
Did you do any genetic testing as part of identifying potential medications? I was fascinated to learn about the genetic differences in metabolic rates across the potential medications and other genetic markers that are correlated with bad side effects. May be something to ask your doctor about?
Anon says
do you do end of year teacher gifts as well as teacher appreciation week? We have teacher appreciation week this week but last day of school is May 17 for one kid and May 22 for my others. It feels like a lot for one month! Historically I’ve done an end of year gift and sent the kids in with a card or similar for this week, but we got emails encouraging small gifts from the room parents.
anon says
Our PTO coordinates teacher appreciation week, thank goodness. I try to give a small end-of-year gift and card and donate to the PTO fund. I really don’t think you need to do both, though.
Anon says
I’m not normally a grinch about supporting teachers, and give generously at the holidays and end of year, plus contribute supplies to the classroom throughout the year. But the ask for more gifts for teacher appreciation week feels like too much! Maybe send a heartfelt note/email (and then take that off your plate for year-end)
Mary Moo Cow says
I send in the token gifts for TAW: notes, one flower, etc., when the PTO sends out suggested gifts for theme days (like, build a bouquet asked you to send in only one flower) and then scale back the end of the year gift. This year, for example, we’re sending in notes one day, candy one day, a joke one day, and a book for the classroom library one day, and then I’ll send in a nice note and a $10 gift card at the end of the year. It IS a lot for one month!
Anon says
Yeah our PTO does teacher appreciation and I gave to the fund for that. They encourage kids to send handmade cards but that’s about it.
I’m planning to do $25 Target gift card for the end of year. From talking to other parents it seemed like many people don’t do anything and I didn’t want to be over the top even though I’d be happy to give more.
anon says
Our PTO asks us to have our kids make cards, and encourages us to write notes to any teachers we’ve particularly appreciated. They have someone stand at carpool and collect them. No gifts.
Lydia says
related question…everyone always says to give cash. About this cash… Can I just stick a $20 bill (or 2 $20s) in a card on the last day? or do I have to buy a gift card of some sort? or write a check? is a wrinkly bill from my wallet ok as long as it doesn’t look too horrible?
Anon says
I think this is know-your-school. At our daycare cash was Not Done (except for a pooled holiday cash collection organized by the school) and I would have felt really uncomfortable giving it to teachers directly. I did gift cards instead which was more comfortable for me and still just about as useful for the teacher if you do something very generic like Target or Walmart.
Cash is normal in lots of places though.
anon says
It didn’t occur to me that end of year gifts are a thing. We have a room parent who collects for a group gift (generally a gift card) for December holidays, teacher’s birthday, and teacher appreciation. I give to those and also try to send a note of appreciation in the fall and once more during the school year.
I exclusively give to group gifts if spending money on a gift. Seems much less fraught than trying to figure out a gift on my own (what the teacher would like, how much is appropriate).
SC says
We also have a room parent who collects for a group gift (cash) for December holidays, teacher birthday, and teacher appreciation week. The teacher appreciation collection was described as the last collection of the year. I was not planning to buy a separate end-of-year gift.
Anonymous says
I like this nail polish but it like it is full price? Is there a code for the sale?
Anon says
what do people do with their kids on their actual bdays? this is our first year when our twins bday falls on a weekend – or i should say the first year they are aware it is their bday. we tried to schedule their bday party for that day, but the venue was already booked so we had it a week early. i know as a kid i always had lots of big feelings on my bday – the anticipation/excitement and then it didn’t necessarily live up to my expectations or it did, but the letdown of it being over, etc.
Anonymous says
if the b’day is on a school day: donuts or muffins for breakfast with a candle, balloon on their chair. 12 year tradition going strong! That night, cake with dinner and presents from immediate family (cake is a loose term here. Cupcakes, muffins, cheesecake torte, whatever- something from the bakery at the grocery story). Then family/friend party over a weekend with more cake and more presents.
For my summer b’day kiddo or when my school b’day kiddo has a weekend b’day, we do the whole shebang on the actual day.
Anon says
OP said bday is on a weekend and already had the party
Mary Moo Cow says
On a weekday, I decorate the house the night before (a banner and balloons inside and a pile of presents on the kitchen table) and we celebrate that evening with dinner of the kid’s choice and opening presents. Grandparents join us. On a weekend, we do presents in the morning and grandparents join us for either lunch or dinner. Both my kids have birthdays that occasionally fall on a holiday, so we’ve only had their big party on their actual birthday once or twice.
Like you, I remember my own birthdays involving lots of big feelings. I love a birthday but for my kids’ sake, I try not to hype it so much that it will be a disappointment. In some ways, I think having two celebrations on different days (friend party then family party) helps curb the disappointment because it spreads out the let down.
AwayEmily says
We do the exact same thing. Actual birthday: come downstairs to balloons and a banner (we just reuse the same banner every time), dinner of kid’s choice with grandma, cake, and family presents. And then the friend birthday on a weekend. It’s nothing huge but the kids seem to really love it.
anon says
Basically the same, minus the grandparents. We put up some sort of decorations for the morning, do family presents which includes ones sent from far away relatives, and have dinner of their choice with cake. Thus far my twins have always agreed on the same favorite dinner (though it varies between years), but I’m sure the day will come when I end up cooking two different things.
DLC says
We do balloons for when they wake up in the morning, and birthday child gets to choose what we have for dinner and cake, or dessert of choosing. Also, face-timing with grandparents. Also, the week leading up to their birthday, they get to choose a sugary cereal to have for breakfast all week. We don’t do presents or anything.
I don’t love birthdays, personally, so we don’t always have parties for the kids so some years that is the extent of the celebration.
GCA says
I am not a big ‘celebrations’ person (that is, I am very low-key and have very few expectations about celebrating my own birthday) so we don’t hype up birthdays all that much, but we have the birthday kid pick a special meal on the actual day. This year kid 1 requested dim sum, so we are doing that two days before his actual bday (the best dim sum near us is weekend-mornings only) and a dessert of his choice on the actual day, which will likely be an ice cream outing if the weather is nice.
Spirograph says
I don’t know how this would work for twins unless you give them each their own day, but in our family we let it be kid-led. So, kid can request special breakfast, and chooses what we have for dinner (either something we make at home, or they can pick a restaurant). They also choose their cake and help me make it if they want to. We have cake and open gifts after dinner. Usually a helium balloon, against my better judgement because it almost always ends poorly, but the kids love it for a hot second. We don’t do anything else special day-of, but often one of their birthday gifts is an experience that may or may not happen on their actual birthday. eg, a show, movie, trip to Top Golf.
Anonymous says
We do special breakfast, special dinner (out or a favorite home-cooked meal), open gifts from parents and any family who won’t be at the party, small cake or cupcakes with candles and the birthday song. On a weekend you could have a fun family outing too.
SC says
If birthday is on a weekday, we send a treat into school for the class. In the evening, DS gets to choose what we have for dinner, we have cake, and he opens presents from us and any family he doesn’t see in person. This year, grandparents came over for dinner, but that’s not always the case.
If birthday fell on the weekend, but we weren’t having a party that day, I’d probably offer a special family activity. My kid is a homebody, so we’d probably end up playing a few board games and giving him extra screen time because he’d prefer that to just about anything else.
Anon says
My 6 year old has not had a weekend birthday since she was 1 so we haven’t really encountered that yet.
For weekday birthdays in daycare, we gave our kid the choice of skipping school completely or doing a half day; she pretty much always picked the half day and we’d bring treats to daycare in the morning. I’d use the half day to prepare birthday celebrations at home like the cake and decorations, then do something one-on-one with her in the afternoon and then we’d celebrate as a family in the evening (plus/minus various combinations of visiting relatives).
Now that she’s in K-12 she no longer gets the option to skip school, although I go to the school and have lunch with her, and I plan to keep that up as long as she wants me there. This year she had Girl Scouts after school on her birthday, which was super fun. Otherwise I’d let her skip aftercare and do something fun, and then have a similar evening celebration.
Next year her birthday will be on Saturday and I think we’ll shoot for doing the party on Sunday so we have Saturday as a family day, maybe with one or two of her close friends.