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If you’re dealing with a small space and you need to air dry laundry, whether for your family or yourself, it can be a huge pain when you don’t have the room for a huge drying rack like so many people in bigger spaces have. This sort of rack, which is available at Amazon, can offer a solution — it has two tiers of shelves and lots of little rungs, and it just fits over your door. It can be really great if you’re in an apartment or just don’t have room to add another thing to your laundry room. mDesign Over-Door Space-Saver Clothes Drying Rack
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Sales of note for 9.10.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 30% off your purchase
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything + extra 20% off
- Boden – 15% off new styles
- Eloquii – $29 and up select styles; up to 50% off everything else
- J.Crew – Up to 50% off wear-to-work styles; extra 30% off sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – 40-60% off everything; extra 60% off clearance
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Extra 40% off sale styles
- Talbots – BOGO 50% everything, includes markdowns
- Target – Car-seat trade-in event through 9/28 — bring in an old car seat to get a 20% discount on other baby/toddler stuff.
- Zappos – 26,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Birthday sale, 40-50% off & extra 20% off select styles
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off all baby; up to 40% off all Halloween
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Extra 30% off sale styles
- Old Navy – 40% off everything
- Target – BOGO 25% off select haircare, up to 25% off floor care items; up to 30% off indoor furniture up to 20% off TVs
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- The concept of “backup care” is so stupid…
- I need tips on managing employees in BigLaw who have to leave for daycare pickup…
- I’m thinking of leaning out to spend more time with my family – how can I find the perfect job for that?
- I’m now a SAHM and my husband needs to step up…
- How can I change my thinking to better recognize some of my husband’s contributions as important, like organizing the shed?
- What are your tips to having a good weekend with kids, especially with little kids? Do you have a set routine or plan?
Anonanonanon says
OOOoooooOOO I need this. I have a big drying rack in the basement but I hate using it because I forget I have clothes drying down there and they stay down there for weeks. Having something small for upstairs would be nice.
We’re heading on a looong drive tomorrow, wish us luck! DC area to South Florida! I used to do it when my son was younger (like 1-3) by myself, so will be interesting now that he’s older and I’m married. I suspect there may be some clashing, I’m one of those “WE CANNOT STOP UNTIL WE GET THERE YOU BETTER PEE AND EAT AT THIS GAS STATION” types, and I suspect my husband will want to be a bit more leisurely about it, while refusing to acknowledge we may have to stop for the night somewhere.
SC says
Good luck! I am like you on road trips. I used to regularly drive 9-10 hours by myself. My car makes it 5 hours of highway driving without refilling the gas. I found a good exit at the half-way point and stopped there to pee, eat, and refuel. I’d allow myself one additional rest area stop to pee a few hours later. No wasted time!
My husband is much more leisurely. And now that we have a kid, I recognize that we need to make regular stops. But OMG, the time a 4-hour drive took 6 hours because Kiddo, then 3 months old, decided to cluster feed just about drove me crazy. I nursed him in the back seat of the car in the back of a church parking lot. (No services were being held at the time.) Now, I still try to combine a chance to get gas, eat, and allow Kiddo to play and stretch his legs.
AIMS says
For something less obtrusive, you can also hang a retractable clothes line or several above your bathtub.
mascot says
We rarely use the bathtub in our master bath so my drying rack sits in there. And yet the dry clothes still take several days to migrate 10 ft across the room into my closet. Funny things, those clothes.
Anonymous says
What helps me is to hang things like dresses and tops on hangers to dry. Then I just have to carry the hangers from the bathroom to the closet. One less step means I’m more likely to put clothes away.
lsw says
Dumb question, but what do you connect the retractable clothes line too? Do you mount it with a screw?
AIMS says
Not a dumb question at all. You can improvise a hook or they sell special sets that basically look like a little nob on your wall. I first discovered this idea in Amsterdam but I’ve seen it elsewhere since – super convenient if you need to air dry occasionally but don’t like the look of having a permanent contraption set up in your bathroom.
Anonanonanon says
i wonder if there’s any kind of suction cup hooks you could use in the shower so you can take them down when you don’t use them without damaging the wall?
lsw says
That’s a great idea. Thank you both!
Anon in NYC says
FYI – Hanna underwear – I know a lot of people on here like it for their kids. They’re doing Buy One Get One 50% off sale right now.
Cate says
I can vouch for these. Love them for my potty trained toddler!
Redux says
I bought a couple pairs of Riviera pants/Marisa fit from Loft to return to work post-partum. They are now saggy baggy messes on me and I need to buy another couple of pairs. Any favorite brands at this price point but with a little more stretch and shape? I like Loft’s dresses and blouses on me, but I feel like their pants are not terribly fashionable on my body. Gap? Express? BR?
ElisaR says
I love the Nic and Zoe wonder stretch pants but they are hard to come by – i bought them in every color i could find. They are pull on pants but don’t really look like it…. not super cheap but I wore (i’m too pregnant now) mine at least once a week so I think they are worth it. I was able to wear them for awhile early in pregnancy due to the elastic waist….
Anonanonanon says
I’m a big fan of the BR Sloan pants if you’re ok with ankle pants. I’m not “heavy” but I am curvy (think “skinny pear shape”? like multiple sizes larger on the bottom than the top) and they do well for me.
GCA says
Also a skinny pear, but with more leg muscle than, uh, large trunk: BR Sloans are baggy in the hips and tight in the thigh for me, but Express Editor ankle pants work perfectly.
Anonanonanon says
I’m much more of a large trunk/upper thigh gal lol
AIMS says
Not exactly what you asked, but you can take them in. I did that with another pair of Loft pants, i think it cost around $15.
Redux says
Good thought. I’m a full 2 sizes smaller than the waist size, though, so I don’t think it would work for me.
Katala says
I always did old navy and gap pants, recently upped my game to BR and have been super happy with the pants. ON pants always did a weird tight waist – baggy crotch – tight thigh thing on me that was not cute. BR are much better quality, especially light lightweight wool lined ankle pants I got. Love them. They are avery fit and for reference I fit the Marisa at loft as well.
Workingmama says
I’m going back to work in 5 weeks and my 2.5 month old only wants me to hold her. My husband will be home another month after I go back and she will be watched by our moms and while she has plenty of time with dad and grandma’s, she only wants me most of the time. I’m getting anxious about how she will adjust, did anyone have any similar experiences? What should I be doing these next few weeks?
Also, first day of work logistics, when did you start pumping bottles for that first day? We’ve been doing a bottle every few days to make sure she’s comfortable with a bottle, but since she’s mostly EBF, I’m unsure how many bottles a 16 week old needs if I leave at 830 am and get home at 530 pm. Should I plan to pump 3x during my work day?
Thank you so much!
Anon in NYC says
Personally, I wouldn’t do much to help her adjust in the next few weeks. Perhaps I’d spend several hours outside of the house on a weekend day and just leave her with your husband, but she’ll be fine. If you haven’t already started doing so, I’d recommend introducing bottles now.
I only pumped 2x during my workday (similar hours) when I first returned to work but I had an oversupply, so I wasn’t too worried about my supply dropping. I think most women start out pumping 3x a day. My 16 week old drank 3 or 4 4oz bottles a day, depending on whether she was going through a growth spurt. Eventually we transitioned her to drinking 3 6-oz bottles per day.
ElisaR says
I would enjoy the time you have left with her – babies are amazing at adapting, so I don’t think you need to do anything different during your last few weeks home. Enjoy the babysnuggle!
For my EBF son I really struggled figuring out sending bottles at first. I sent 5 (6 ounce) bottles to school which was way too much but I really didn’t have a sense of how much he was eating from me… it took a week or 2 to figure out what he needed. I wasted some milk in the beginning but that’s ok. I pumped 2x a day at work but I was picking up my son at 4pm. So maybe 3x is good to start and see how it works for you. Do you have a stock of pumped milk yet? I had built a ton up and wound up not using most of the frozen milk I had…. my pumping 2x a day and once before going to sleep was enough to feed my son each day. Hope this helps and GOOD LUCK!
Cornellian says
I would plan on 3x a day, at least for the beginning. I can get away with 2x a day now in terms of supply, but I suspect it helps me get blocked ducts.
You want to have four 4oz bottles for the first day, and probably an extra four in case pumping is hard the first week. My son usually drinks three 4 oz bottles, but occasionally four. Since you have time, you could just pump 20z every other day until you go back to work.
AIMS says
On 1, I wouldn’t worry too much because babies will adjust but maybe start making a point to not be the only one to hold her even if she doesn’t like it right away. Go take a long shower and leave her with your husband; or go out for an hour, whatever. I made an effort from the beginning to hand off my baby whenever possible for this very reason, but it’s really never too late.
On 2, I was in the same boat and started preparing about a week and a half before I went back to work. I didn’t worry so much about giving her a bottle a day because she wasn’t having an issue taking a bottle, so I basically just focused on pumping at least once a day to build a little mini-stash. Most of the portions were 3.5-4 oz. at that point. I found it easiest to pump in the middle of either her morning nap or right before I went to sleep (a few hours after she did), although some women say they do best with a session right after nursing in the morning (that never worked for me b/c she ate all my milk first thing). And then when I went back to work I pumped 3 times in the beginning – once right after I got in, once before lunch and once around 3 pm. That usually did the trick for the next day so my little milk stash wasn’t really needed after the first day but I felt better knowing that I had a 2-3 day supply there in case I needed to supplement. I think having the pressure off helped too and sometimes I ended up with extra that I would freeze for later. Anyway, it will all be okay and you’re doing great; try to just enjoy this time.
octagon says
I posted something similar before my mat leave ended, and the two things I remember about the replies were:
1. 5 weeks is a really long time, in baby-time. So what your baby wants today may not be the same as what she wants then.
2. Babies are so adaptable — more than adults! The first day or two will be hard, but she’ll adjust quickly.
For now, enjoy those snuggles as much as you can!
Spirograph says
All of this.
I never pumped more than 2x a day at work, but that was enough for me to get ~20 oz. I nursed in the morning and when I got home, and once baby was consistently sleeping through the night, usually pumped right before I went to bed.
My first two kids went through 4x 5(ish) oz bottles during the day, third kid (or his teacher) preferred 3 6oz bottles. Any leftovers, I’d freeze. I usually tried to thaw at least one or two bottles’ worth per week, just to keep the freezer stash rotating and fresh. To get ready for going back to work, I’d gradually start freezing a few oz per day. You can pump the weekend before you go back to work and have that fresh milk on day 1, or just thaw some of the frozen milk as needed. Save in increments of 3-5 oz, that way you’ll be prepared no matter what portion size your baby settles on. It will probably vary a bit, anyway.
I don’t think you need to do anything to prepare for the transition beyond making sure she’ll take a bottle (which you’ve already done! hooray!). All of my kids adjusted really well to me going back to work. My husband stayed home with them for a few weeks, then they transitioned to nanny or daycare with really minimal issues. It’s harder for you than it is for them, usually. Most babies just want to be fed and snuggled by *someone*. Mom is first choice, but warm, loving surrogates are almost as good, especially if mom isn’t even an option at the time. My son is thrilled to see his daycare teachers in the morning, and thrilled to see me and my husband in the afternoon.
rakma says
My first seemed to need more one one one, skin touching, intensive time with me (and only me) than my second. What seemed to help was nursing her right before I left for work, and again right when I got home. She seemed to figure out pretty quickly that that was the routine, and it helped her to relax with Dad/MIL.
Another thing that helped, surprisingly, was that my MIL didn’t give me a full play-by-play of the adjustment period. For the first week or so, MIL told me all about bottles and poop and tummy time, but left out the longer crying jags. Once MIL figured out her own tricks, there was much less crying. In hindsight I appreciate this, but at the time I wanted to know everything about every minute.
In the time you have before you go back, try out baby wearing if you haven’t already. That was a huge help for me for that witching hour when you’re trying to make or eat some dinner, the baby just wants to be touching you, and you need some arms.
Katala says
Agree with all of this. 5 weeks is a really long time for a new babe, and she will absolutely be fine even if she doesn’t get used to being held by other people before you go back. They really are so adaptable and will be with people who love her and will give her lots of snuggles until she gets used to it.
It’s hard to know the right amount of milk to send. Kellymom estimates, I believe, 1 oz./hour of pumped milk. I sent 3 x 4oz bottles initially and daycare asked for more so now we do 3x 5oz. I’m gone 9-6:30 generally. It’s not quite enough sometimes, so we have an empty bottle and several 1-2oz frozen bags stashed at daycare if he’s hungry. Reading others’ responses, I’m thinking we may need to bump up to 6 oz bottles..
I started out pumping 3x/day, around 5 months 2x was enough to get more milk than he needs some days, not quite enough others. I didn’t have much freezer stash, maybe 2 days’ worth, and that’s been plenty. I know I channeled a lot of my anxiety around going back to work into planning what I could – pumping, bottles, schedules, etc. but it really did all work itself out quickly.
Redux says
Wow, y’alls babies be hungry! My babies both had 3-3oz bottles between 9am and 6pm. I pumped 3x/day with my first to get 9oz and twice a day with my second to get 9oz.
ElisaR says
this made me chuckle – I pumped 18 ounces a day and I only produced milk on one side….. I was seriously lopsided for a full 6 months. the things we do for kids!
October says
Yah, “they” say a breastfed baby doesn’t need more than 4-5 oz in a bottle, every 3-4 hours, no matter how old (unlike formula, the composition of breastmilk changes as baby ages to meet his/her needs; giving more than that could lead to overfeeding). YMMV with your particular baby, but that’s a good rule of thumb.
PrettyPrimadonna says
This was my baby. And her daycare teachers thought it wasn’t enough. O_o
Anon says
Oh man did I struggle with how much to send. The tricky thing is, you don’t want baby to be hungry, but you also don’t want daycare to just rely on giving her a bottle if she’s fussy instead of trying other soothing tactics- I know it’s tough, because they have to get to know her as well and learn her signals too. And apparently it’s really really easy to overfeed breastmilk. I ended up sending, for an 8.5 hour day 2 4oz bottles and 2 3 oz bottles, not being able to pump that much, and then crying if I picked her up and she drank all four of them instead of only 3- not sustainable. Daycare was great about working with me and how much I pumped, as well as figuring her out too- even on maternity leave I struggled with knowing whether she was tired or hungry, and I would often misread tired as hungry.
So I would say, try to get a sense of how much you can pump, try to get a sense of how much she would take in a bottle before you send her so you have an idea of how much to send, and really, at the end of the day, remember that this is a tiny blip in time, you will get things figured out eventually, and that there is absolutely nothing wrong with supplementing with formula if the whole thing is just too arduous.
AnonAnon says
I would love to get people’s views on this issue with my 3 year old. Her daycare nurse pulled me aside the other day and said she has noticed my daughter is not playing with the other kids on the playground, but sitting by herself, and she recommended getting her tested for autism. The nurse said a lot of other things in the conversation that, frankly, made me question her judgment.
I really don’t think my daughter is on the spectrum, not least because she is always screened at her well child pediatrician visits with no red flags ever being raised. She’s also exceeding verbal, loves to play pretend, and is very adroit at identifying feelings in herself and others. (E.g. the other day I asked if she was feeling angry, and she said, “No, I’m frustrated.”) However she is somewhat “high-needs.” I’m not even sure how to describe it other than that she is the opposite of going with the flow. She often doesn’t want to participate in large group activities, like she spent the first 6 months of a weekly dance class refusing to participate, but told us she liked the the class. Lately she’s been getting upset and crying at drop-off time at daycare. She doesn’t like loud noises, like a toilet flushing. She hates getting her clothes even slightly damp. I could go on, but you get the idea.
I want to have a conversation with her teachers at daycare and then a conversation with the pediatrician about all of this. Does anyone have suggestions about information I should be soliciting from the teachers in order to give the pediatrician a good picture of how she is interacting with people at school?
Anonanonanon says
I am by no means a professional, but I grew up with an autistic brother so some things I would suggest asking the teachers about are:
-do they ever see her engaging in “pretend” play?
-Does she ever play with the other children in the classroom? (i know you said she doesn’t outside, but maybe she’s more of an inside gal)
-does she ever get obsessively interested in a certain toy or topic?
-you mentioned she doesn’t like the toilet flushing, I would ask them if they’ve noticed if she’s unusually sensitive to any other sounds compared to other children
-ask them how she handles transitions throughout the day? If they change the routine, how does it affect her/how does she react to that?
-Have they been talking about feelings a lot at school? Could she possibly be echoing things the hears there without truly understanding
-You mentioned the damp clothes thing (which, TBH, i hate that myself, so could just be personal preference?) but I would ask if they notice other sensory issues. Does she hate finger painting and freak out because her hands feel slimy, etc.
Good luck with all of this. Sounds like you’re approaching it absolutely correctly, gathering as much info from daycare as you can before discussing with her Ped.
Anon in NYC says
Agreed about the focus on sensory issues. Any issues with things like seams, tags, itchy clothing, etc. Any other loud noises (hand dryer, vacuum, car honking, kids being rowdy).
One of my friends has a “high needs” kid – very bright and verbal at a young age, but just…. challenging. She is not a joiner (hangs back at parties, even with all of her friends), is very particular about her clothing (refuses to wear all sorts of things), absolutely cannot go with the flow to save her life, etc. She’s a great kid, but I think it is probably very tiring to be her parent. Good luck!
AnonAnon says
Your description of your friend’s child is my child to a t. Yes, it is tiring! But I also love her assertiveness and strength of will, and I hope she retains those qualities throughout her life.
Anon in NYC says
Yes absolutely! If my friend’s daughter retains her strong will, she is going to be a bada$$ woman. My fingers are crossed.
NewMomAnon says
These are good questions, but the research is showing that girls with autism present very differently than boys. These are the classic questions to ask about autism in boys, but from what I’ve been reading they may not catch issues in girls….
Honestly, I would raise it with your kiddo’s pediatrician but not sweat it too much this year. Three is young for social play; four is usually the age at which kids start engaging in true social play (rather than just playing next to each other). Especially if your kiddo is tall or verbally advanced for her age, the nurse may be expecting behaviors that aren’t actually age-appropriate. My kiddo is 90th percentile for height and very verbal, so people assume she’s a year older than she is and then get snippy with her when she acts her real age.
Anonymous says
This happens so much with my tall kiddo. Expectations are often out of whack with age. Also, there’s a big difference between a 3 yrs 2 months kid and a 3 years 10 months kid.
Sarabeth says
Ha! We get the opposite with my short/small kid. Strangers are constantly commenting on how verbal she is. And yes, she’s a bit more verbal than average for her age…but she also looks a good 6-12 months younger than she actually is. Her verbal skills are much less impressive for a 3.5 year-old than they would be for a 2.5 year-old.
AnonAnon says
This is so helpful, thank you!
Lurker says
You can have sensory processing issues and not be on the spectrum. I’m like your daughter. I don’t like loud noises, crowds, the grocery store overwhelms me (noise, colors, smells, coldness), I hate itchy clothes or tags, I’d rather work solo than in a group but as far as I know, there is nothing wrong with me in a diagnosable way. I’m also in my 30’s. Well, I have ADD but I don’t think that’s the cause of my sensory sensitivity. Some people are just sensitive.
That said, when schools raise an issue, it is certainly worth exploring because they see a different side to your kid than you do.
avocado says
Sensory issues are common among kids with ADHD and also among gifted kids.
Lurker says
Good to know! Thanks.
Anon says
Yup, I was very much like this as a child too (hung back in crowds, easily startled by loud noises, had a hard time wearing anything “itchy”, which was basically anything that wasn’t stirrup leggings and t-shirts). I grew out of all of that by my early elementary years, but I always wonder if I would’ve been (mis-)diagnosed with something if I had been born a decade or two later.
POSITA says
I might think about getting an appointment with a developmental pediatrician who can diagnose a variety of things. (I clearly don’t know your kid, so I’d trust your gut if you think there may be something going on.)
In our area, developmental pediatricians have REALLY long waiting lists, up to a year or more. If you think you might want to have her screened, it would the worth starting that process now. You can always cancel the appointment if she grows out of this phase and you don’t have concerns.
Anon for this says
+1 wait times are crazy in our area. I’d suggest getting an appointment and you can always cancel later
Seconding POSITA says
My “difficult” son just got an ASD diagnosis after a 2.5 year saga of evaluations, ineffective therapies, bad advice, etc.. I wish someone had told us at the beginning of the journey to get on the list for a developmental pediatrician and for a psych evaluation with an autism expert. The waiting lists in our area for places that are good are 12-18 months at a minimum. As POSITA says, you can always cancel if she grows out of it but it is best to at least be on the waiting list as things develop.
And you also want to make sure you’re getting on the list with a place that does a thorough evaluation and has a history of connecting patients with appropriate therapies. We saw one developmental ped (who we went to because we could get an appointment in 9 months instead of 24 months) and she evaluated my son for 5 minutes, said she could prescribe medication when he was older, and basically shoved us out the door with a two sentence letter.
AnonAnon says
OP here, are any of you in the DC area? If so, I’d love specific recommendations, with a preference for MD and DC over Nova. Thanks!
Frozen Peach says
The Marcus Institute is an amazing resource for referrals and networks of good providers. In the Midwest, Fraser is amazing.
Anonymous says
I think you’re right that the nurse is overreacting. I have a number of family members and friends kids on the spectrum and the nurse saying that because she doesn’t like to play with the other kids, she must be autistic is overreaching. Not liking loud noises like a public toilet flushing or vacuuming is pretty common in this age group.
Sounds like she’s just a bit of an introvert and a bit shy. Not all kids want to do group activities all the time and that’s okay. Wanting to play by yourself doesn’t mean you are autistic. That said, you mentioned that she’s been fussy at drop off. Try asking her what her favorite thing was and what the hardest thing was every day at bedtime. I started doing that around age 3 with my daughter and it lead to some eye opening conversations. The kid with a locker next to hers had been making snide comments that my daughter found hurtful and the teachers hadn’t noticed. They switched up locker locations, kept a closer eye on their interactions and my daughter was much happier.
AnonAnon says
Up until this conversation, that’s exactly what I thought, but I know it’s tough to be objective about your own child, so I’m trying to keep an open mind. I have been thinking about trying to get a conversation going about things we are grateful for each day, and I think your idea of favorite and hardest part of this day is great. I will try it!
Anonymous says
it’s actually really helped me understand her perspective on stuff. Sometimes the ‘hardest thing’ was that I only let her have two cookies after dinner.
lsw says
Haha – for at least two years, my stepdaughter’s answer to anything about best/worst at school was what they did or did not have at lunch that day.
GCA says
Agreed – I was also like this as a child (loud noises, scratchy clothing and tags, fear of the vacuum cleaner, loathing of crowds and large boisterous groups. Pretend play, but not engaging with the other kids.) When I was 3 my parents took me to a large family gathering and I hid halfway up the staircase on the landing. As it turns out, I am just an introvert who was ahead of my peers verbally. (See Susan Cain, ‘Quiet’, which was a life-changing read for my family.)
In my case, my parents actually did have me evaluated. The resulting strategy was that my preschool, which was ahead of its time, allowed me some chunks of time in the computer lab to read and write stories and engage in imaginative play. I guess what I’m trying to say is that your instincts may say there’s nothing ‘wrong’ with your kid, but a good evaluation may lead to some unexpected new strategies that help her.
anon says
“Non-verbal learning disorder” or NLD involves sensory defensiveness, very developed verbal skills, and a good theory of mind. I’m not sure whether it’s considered a spectrum disorder or not, but there are definitely things other than classic autism that kids can get help with!
Anonymous says
Congrats!
Re: the holding thing, yeah btdt. For now just make sure DH and other primary caregivers have plenty of un-assissted time to bond and figure out their own soothing mechanisms and relationships. What worked for me =\= what worked for DH.
Re: bottles, presumably you are pumping now? How many times in a workday would you expect DD to need a bottle? Work backwards feom there and give yourself some breathing room if possible. What worked for me was feeding DC first thing in the AM on one side and then pumping on the other. You really only need bottles for that first day. 3s/day assumption to start sounds about right but ymmv
Helping Preschooler Be Friendlier? says
Our daycare/preschool generally moves kids in cohorts up to the next classroom in mid-August. For a variety of reasons, my son moved up about a month early to the 3-4 year old classroom. He has been thrilled with exploring the toys in the new classroom and hanging out with the “big” kids. The problem is that next week all the “big” kids are going to move up to the Pre-K classroom, and all of his old classmates from the 2-3 year old class are going to move into my son’s classroom.
We have been trying to talk to him about this and convince him that he can be the “class leader” and an “ambassador” when his old classmates join his classroom but he is having none of it. He keeps saying that he’ll tell his old classmates “No no no!” and “Get out of here!” when he sees them. Any tips/thoughts on how to get him to accept the change/be friendlier?
Frozen Peach says
My kid has recently become obsessed with the Care Bears. We have seen her mimic a lot of the really good “leader” behaviors they model. Not sure how you are about screen time, but we’ve been kind of flabbergasted at how a few days of mainlining Care Bears with mom while sick turned into seeking out the shy kids, giving lots of hugs, talking about being a friend, exhibiting a lot more empathy towards us. Might help! The complete first 22 episodes are like, $5 on Amazon Prime right now.
ElisaR says
that’s adorable!
AwayEmily says
this is really sweet. I also loved Care Bears as a kid.
Anonymous says
I wouldn’t worry. Unless he had issues in the 2-3 year old room with these kids, it will probably be fine. I wouldn’t make too big a deal out of the transition because sometimes anticipation can make kids more nervous/upset.
Anon in NYC says
Agreed. I think that kids this age just say stuff. Someone was telling me today that when his 3 year old gets upset he yells “I don’t love you anymore, Daddy!” Obviously it will be a little sad for him to lose his big kid friends, but he’ll probably quickly adjust to playing with his old friends.
OP says
OP here. Er…actually my son did have issues in the 2-3 year old room with at least one of the other kids who is now moving up to be in the same classroom. Essentially my son and the other kid were competing to see who would be alpha and that lead to a lot of strife. The teachers know about that conflict and are already planning to keep those two separated as much as possible, but I’m just generally worried that my son is going to act like a jerk when his old friends show up.
Will definitely try the Care Bears!
Anon says
I would cross that bridge when you come to it. Perhaps their time apart will have done them both good.
Legally Brunette re: bikini says
Someone yesterday asked about the sizing on the Angerella bikini I recommended (high waisted so it’s perfect for flattering a pooch). Unlike most swimsuit sizing, where you size up a size (or two), I ordered the same size I would wear for jeans. I’m usually a size 6 in jeans and ordered a medium, which fits me well. And I’m a 32DD on top, and found the medium top fine as well.
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B018TRK91U/ref=twister_B01HO9CRLY
lsw says
That’s really cute. I’m always concerned about that style of “long line” top – do you find the bottom part (under the cups) rolls up because it’s wider than a band?
AIMS says
Any tips for dealing with dizziness during pregnancy? I seem to be having a few spells this time around and the other day really felt like I was about to faint. I’m trying to take it a bit easier now, drink more water, make sure I eat something small frequently, but curious if anyone has other suggestions.
Marilla says
This happened to me a lot when I was pregnant with my daughter – aside from the tips you already have, I found it really helpful to carry apple juice boxes around with me. Especially on the subway, slowly sipping juice helped fend off the worst of the dizziness/nausea. And go slowly in the morning as much as possible. Not looking forward to going through this again with the next pregnancy!
Katala says
I experienced dizziness during both pregnancies and around 35 weeks with #1, I woke up one day and couldn’t stand it was so bad. Turns out my BP was really high (it was low-normal up until then) and I ended up with pre-eclampsia. I was induced at 37 weeks and everything was fine. Also some dizziness with #2, high BP reading at 36 weeks and delivered at 37 weeks. Again everything was fine, but you probably want to mention to your doc – they asked a few extra questions each visit due to my pre-e history so you may want to get it on their radar.
That said, I think it’s normal and eating frequently and getting enough water helped me until it got really bad, then only lying down worked.
Anon in NYC says
Are you consuming caffeine? This exact same thing happened to me whenever I drank coffee. I am a coffee fiend (3-4 cups in the morning) and was so excited to continue drinking coffee through my pregnancy (thanks, Expecting Better!), but it turns out that I was really badly affected by it. I had to switch to one cup of decaf.
Anonanonanon says
Expecting Better is an amazing book
Katala says
+1 and good thought about the caffeine. I usually had 3 cups/day with #2, 1-2 with #1 and didn’t connect to dizziness but it definitely could have been a factor.
AIMS says
Thanks all!
I am c0nsuming caffeine but haven’t noticed it happening around coffee breaks. I think the day it was particularly bad I didn’t drink much all day and had a somewhat rushed, crappy lunch. Definitely trying to be better since. I’ll try to make sure I have a drink with me whenever possible and will definitely mention it to the doctor next visit.
VBAC says
Any advice on whether I should consider a VBAC? I had a c-section with my first child because his heart rate was dropping and he was “not responding well to contractions.” He was very small (5 lbs.) and while I didn’t want a c-section, I had no problem with it once the doctor said it was necessary. I figured for my second child, arriving in a few months, I would just have another c-section. But I am starting to wonder if I should consider VBAC.
I am very pro-modern-medicine in a give-me-all-the-drugs kind of way, during childbirth, so it’s not that I have a problem with the medical intervention side of a c-section. But sometimes when I hear about other births, I feel like I don’t really identify because I didn’t have that experience– I experienced contractions overnight but never “labored” in the sense of pushing, etc. I thought I really didn’t care about that, but I feel like I may be missing out on a special part of childbirth by not trying a VBAC. (Then again, I wonder why I should go through all that if I don’t have to.) Any advice?
avocado says
As someone who had a 100% drug-free birth and is glad I did it that way, I am here to tell you that the desire to have a special experience is not a good reason to go for a VBAC or a natural birth. Childbirth is not some sort of transcendent earth mother experience that will make you complete as a woman. There are parts of it I can’t even remember. A decision to try for a VBAC should be made for other reasons, which include your personal preferences regarding medical interventions, concerns over c-section recovery, and your tolerance for various types of risk. I chose natural birth because I believed it would be easiest on me and because it minimized the types of risks I wished to minimize given my individual situation. Everyone’s path to motherhood is unique, and you are not missing out on an essential life experience if you do not have a v-birth. If you want a VBAC because you believe it will be more comfortable, result in a recovery that is more compatible with a toddler at home, or be safer, then go for it!
Anonanonanon says
I don’t remember most of it, and what i DO remember is flashes of my own horror at how gross it all was. I was pretty uneducated on the process and was surprised that
1. your water KEEPS GUSHING with contractions after the initial break. I thought it would break, gush, and be done, but no you keep gushing! I had no idea and it was a gross surprise
2. I thought the baby and the placenta came out at the same time but noooo you push out a baby then you have to push out that slimy ol’ thing separately. that, too was an unpleasant surprise
This is what happens when you get pregnant your senior year of university and don’t have any friends who have had babies, there’s no one to warn you of this stuff!
Two Cents says
To offer a different perspective, I had a c-section the first time (for the exact reasons as the OP), had a VBAC for my second, and for me, it was an amazing, empowering experience in a way that my c-section was not. I was not drug free, but i had an epidural once when I was 8cm dilated so I labored quite a bit without meds. I found the pushing process and seeing a baby come out of me to be incredibly emotional and something I will never forget. I am so grateful that I could have a VBAC. Recovery was much easier and I could hug/pick up my toddler too as a bonus (with a csection, you will have much more limited mobility). My kids are two years apart as well.
If you decide to go with a VBAC, I would recommend hiring a doula. Not essential but very very helpful to have someone there to help you through labor.
Is there any reason why wouldn’t just try for one, and if doesn’t work out, then just have the csection?
Purely anecdotal, but I could not bfeed my first (resorted to exclusive pumping) but had very little trouble with my second.
Anon says
I can’t speak for OP, but with my first kid, I “tried for one and then just had the csection” and it was awful. Scheduling the c from the beginning (for my second kid) was wayyyy better in terms of exhaustion, recovery, and risk profiles.
Having gone through it, that’s probably one of the last things I’d recommend to someone who already has one kid. (We all basically do that for our first, and I wish we had more science to accurately predict those at high risk so we could skip it for our first ones too.)
Also, c-section with both kids and no problems bfeeding either time.
ElisaR says
How much time has passed between pregnancies?
VBAC says
They will be born two years apart.
ElisaR says
I totally agree w/ avocado – there’s lots of ways to become a mother!
Despite my efforts, birth plan (ha!) and wishes, I had to have a C section with my son (born 16 months ago) and I’m now 5 months pregnant. My doctor’s practice doesn’t do VBAC’s at all, so I would have had to find a new doctor if I wanted to pursue it. However since I was less than 2 years in between pregnancies, my doctor didn’t think it was a good option for me. She wasn’t even thrilled at me getting pregnant in less than 2 years but OOPS! Plus my age gave her concern (40 at delivery).
So despite my crunchy nature – I will not be attempting VBAC.
Spirograph says
I agree with all of this. I had 2 drug-free births, and 1 with an epidural, and other than making me feel kind of like a bad@ss occasionally, they were a means to an end the same way a c-section is a means to an end. I think everyone feels a little bit different about their birth experience and what it means to them personally, and that’s fine, but it sounds like you don’t have strong feelings about it. In that case, I’d just take your doctor’s advice. I can almost guarantee you are going to question your hypothetical VBAC decision in the middle of labor, so if you don’t have a strong reason to commit to it, I wouldn’t go down that path.
If you’re looking for a reason, though: anecdotally, I bounced back from childbirth incredibly quickly each time. I was out walking, doing yardwork, picking up 30-lb children, whatever within a couple days. My friends who had c-sections had a tougher time with recovery, especially those with other young children at home.
Anon says
My first pregnancy was very similar yours (I actually thought I’d have a natural, no-meds birth, but then she had failure to descend plus dropping heart rate, so c-section it was!), and then I scheduled a c-section for my second. I never went through labor, never had any tearing, didn’t have to do any lamaze breathing. None of that.
I see it as a total bonus. I get to have two kids and never had to push once. Like the above poster said, there’s no essential life experience that you’re missing. In fact, thanks to modern medicine, you get to experience MORE, since you and the baby are alive and that probably wasn’t a given in your/my situation just 100 years ago.
I did have people tell me that I SHOULD feel like I missed out on something, but I don’t think they’d say that to an adoptive mother, so not sure why it needs to apply to me. We’re moms, no matter how we got there, and that’s enough.
layered bob says
I would also consider whether you’d ever plan to have any more children – risks mount with multiple c-sections, and having a VBAC would make your next pregnancy safer. In general doctors feel more comfortable with repeat c-sections because it’s something they feel they can control, but VBACs are in fact less risky (in most cases/all else being equal/etc.)
Anonymous says
Everyone has already chimed in with good responses, but I wanted to add that if you consent to the various medications and interventions that are typical in a hospital birth, your chances of having another c-section are high regardless of what you want.
Anonymous says
I would try for a VBAC. Get a doula who is experienced in VBAC labor and maybe consider opting for a c-section earlier than you did on your first if your labor isn’t progressing.
If you go into labor naturally instead of having a scheduled section, you’ll know the baby was ‘ready’ and there are microbiome benefits to laboring even if you end up with a section. Risks are higher if you have multiple sections so easier/safer to have more kids if you’ve only had one section.
Anon says
Wait, what? Risks are higher the more kids you have, regardless.
It is true that if you’ve had a previous vaginal birth, you’re more likely to have a successful vaginal birth in the future. And it’s true that after 5 or more c-sections, your risk of serious complications goes up as well. But that doesn’t translate to “it’s easier to have more kids if you’ve only had one section.”
VBAC says
Thank you– this is very helpful especially coming from someone who chose a drug free birth. You are spot on with the “transcendent earth mother” thing. Like, I’m not very earth-mother at all but did wonder if it was a unique experience that I should try to have– even with the awareness that it is a painful, kind of sucky experience. Other than potentially missing the labor/birth experience, I actually prefer a c-section this time, mostly because for me it is a known quantity now (I know how comfortable/painful it will be, I know what recovery is like, I know I’ll have an incision but at least won’t have to worry about the V area, etc). I only considered VBAC because of the experience itself– which it sounds like I shouldn’t worry about. Thanks for this advice!
Anonymous says
Sigh, this is for avocado’s post above.
Anonanonanon says
Just to second avocado, i had a not-c-section birth and honestly it was nothing magical. I didn’t do completely drug free, I had an epidural for a bit but we had to remove it because it kept dropping my blood pressure. But still, it honestly wasn’t some magical moment like in a movie, he came out, they took him away to clean him, and I thought I was done and they were like “wait, you still have to push out the placenta” (which I had no idea was a separate ordeal) and they massaged my stomach very uncomfortably then I had to push out a placenta even though I thought I was done giving birth. It was all very gross and not magical.
Sal says
I’ll sign on for this. I went drug-free and…yeah. It was a thing that I did. Mostly I find it handy for talking about pain scales. It did not change my life; it did not irrevocably bond my daughter to me in the sacred bonds of Eve etc. (I went for it because I historically get lots of complications when my bodily integrity is poked at, as I managed to do even with a drug-free birth.) The big pluses, as I see them: 1) no surgical recovery (more salient now that I have a kid and my husband has less leave time on the front end); 2) feeling like I knew she was fully cooked (but not a c-section/non difference, per se; see generally inductions); 3) if you know you want to have a lot of kids, I think many doctors tend to set a limit on the number of c-sections you’re looking at. If it weren’t for that high-number-of-complications thing my body does, I’d be even more gung-ho about doing it differently this time (currently undecided). Vomiting from pain is not an underrated experience. Neither is getting stitched up while *all-natural* and *drug-free*.
NewMomAnon says
One other thought: consider your tolerance for anxiety and uncertainty, because the mental challenge of a long labor was the most surprising part for me. I had an unmedicated v*ginal childbirth that almost ended in C section multiple times. If I had known going in that C section was a significant risk and that it might be sprung on me after 24 hours of exhausting labor, under general anesthetic, I would have asked for a planned C section instead. I would have preferred the certainty of arriving at the hospital at a certain time, knowing the “birth” would last X minutes, recovery would follow a certain trajectory, I would hurt in certain places, etc.
SBJ says
I have a dumb question (for someone in their second pregnancy). What do you wear to work and where do you find it? I happened to not be working with my first, so my maternity clothes are almost entirely casual. I work in a business casual environment now, so don’t need suits, but am usually found in black pants and a nice top when not pregnant. Replicate that? Go for more comfortable options (dresses, leggings + tunic)? Also for maternity leggings, any recommendations?
Also, AIMS, not to be a total internet creepster, but I think we’re pregnancy twins-I’m almost 14 wks and 1st kiddo is 20 months…
Sarabeth says
I wore dresses almost exclusively. With maternity tights when it got cold. I had four basic dresses and wore them with cardigans to mix it up.
ElisaR says
I wore mostly dresses too. Loft (on 40% off days) has some reasonably priced ones that are cute. Seraphine has the most flattering ones and you can sometimes get them on sale but they are a little pricey. Plus Kate Middleton wore a ton of stuff from Seraphine and I pretty much think that’s the best endorsement out there. Kidding. Not really.
My best work/maternity dressing tip is Letote. They are basically clothing rental and they have a maternity section. For $60 a month you get 3 items at a time and when you mail them back they send new ones. It was kinda fun getting new clothes without buying them – I was getting tired of my 5 dress rotation. that said I haven’t yet signed up this pregnancy but I may once I tire of my clothes.
AIMS says
Hi Pregnancy Twin! Congrats on no. 2!
I got most of my first pregnancy work wardrobe at Old Navy (surprised me!) and Loft, with some Gap and ASOS thrown in for variety. I don’t see anything too good at Old Navy now but I think options may be better when more fall clothes come out. I basically ended up with two main pairs of work pants (loft, same pair, two colors), and two sheath-type dresses (old navy, same dress, two colors), a couple of blouses (loft) and two random, more casual dresses from Gap and Asos that I would alternative week to week. Everything kind of worked together color wise – navy, burgundy and black. That was really plenty for me to get through the whole pregnancy. I paired the dresses with my existing blazers or cardigans and I mostly wore the same handful of shirts with the pants. Maternity Gap tanks (with the thicker straps) were good too b/c I could wear them with my longer cardigans on casual days – and to be honest I think most days are more casual when you’re pregnant; people will cut you a lot of slack.
AIMS says
Forgot to add – get some pregnancy tights if you are in a cold-ish climate and planning to do dresses. I think I got two pairs (Spanx brand) and just hand washed them after each wear.
Katala says
I prefer pants generally, so I did do dresses some but also needed pants. I had a pair of Gap trousers I liked and a couple pairs from motherhood maternity that were serviceable. I loved my GapBody leggings and wore those to work plenty at the end. Sometimes under dresses, sometimes with tunics (not professional – shrug).
Agree if you like dresses they’re easier. I had 3 from ASOS, one I liked, 2 never fit. I wore normal/one size up shift dresses for a while too. H&M maternity stuff was OK too. My uniform until I was huge was Gap maternity T-shirt w/ cami underneath, cardigan or jacket, maternity pants. It was comfortable to me and reasonably professional with a scarf, necklace and/or earrings.
Sal says
Gap maternity leggings. These are the one thing I never put in a box between pregnancies. I really love them.
But yes, dresses with leggings was a uniform. I also almost always liked Old Navy mat clothes better than Gap.
Blueberry says
I wear almost exclusively dresses. I bought one from Isabella Oliver this time around that is the nicest one I own — definitely feels more professional than the flimsy and worn out ones I have from my 1st when I was just out of law school! There are some by that brand for sale on Gilt at good prices. I’ve had decent luck with Gap. In the winter, I wore thigh high compression tights rather than regular tights, because they seemed more comfortable and (TMI?) pregnancy makes me susceptible to yeast infections.
H says
I got a couple pairs of work pants from Gap, and a couple of elastic waist skirts from both Gap and Old Navy. On top, I wore the ON slub knit tees (I must have bought about 10 so I had lots of colors) and wore them under cardigans for work and on their own on the weekends. If I do it again, I think I would buy more dresses, especially ones that are nursing friendly that can be worn afterwards.
Don't read this while you're eating lunch! says
Anon, because this outs me to all the people I complained to IRL…
My son puked all over me in the middle of the night last night. The I-don’-t-have-molars-yet-so-here’s-exactly-what-I-ate-for-dinner-except-stinkier-and-more-disgusting kind of puke. He was uncharacteristically screaming around 2am, so I picked him up out of his crib to comfort him and blaaaaaahhhh multiple waves of puke on my shoulder, in my hair, down my back, down my chest, all over him, all over the rug. Once I got over the shock, I literally got in the shower with both of us still clothed and kicked chunks down the drain while husband cleaned up the floor in the nursery. And of course son was still pretty sad and wouldn’t settle down in his crib afterward, so I had to hold him while we dozed in and out for the next 3 hours.
There was so much vomit. And it smelled so, so bad. I washed my hair really well, but I still keep catching phantom whiffs of it. He seemed fine this morning, though, so I took him to daycare and I’m mainlining coffee to get through work.
Babies are so great, amirite?!
Anonanonanon says
be ready to get sick. I find the really stinky kind usually signals a virus :( :(
Anonymous says
Vomit is the worst. Although as my kids have gotten older it turns out I’m super freaked out about loose teeth. Surprised your daycare doesn’t have a 24 hr stay home rule for vomit. My youngest is a puker (like pukes at the slightest cough) so that rule has been a PITA for us.
OP says
They do, but it’s 2 vomits in a day unless there’s a GI bug going around. Probably to account for cough-pukers, which sounds terrible! I counted that all as one since it all came out within a minute or two. He kept down water and formula afterward, and had a banana for breakfast without incident, so fingers crossed. I let the teachers know he had a rough night and to call me if he seemed off at all, but he should be down for his afternoon nap by now, so I think I”m home free for today.
OP says
Omfg, I spoke too soon. He made it through the whole day apparently in a good mood, and then puked on me in the parking lot. Clearly he’s staying home tomorrow.
Also Anon says
I let my kid wear panties to bed for the first time last night. She’s been waking up dry for months. At 4:45 a.m. she walked into my bedroom and really loudly announced that she had pooped. It was massive and disastrous. Ugh.
lsw says
Oh man. I will never forget when my stepdaughter silently walked into the living room where my (now) husband and I had the lights off and were watching a movie. We didn’t hear or see her – we smelled her. He cleaned her and I cleaned the bed. It was awful!
Knope says
I think I need a pep talk re: traveling for work without baby. My baby is now 5 months old and I feel like I’ve been busting my butt to feed him almost exclusively breastmilk since birth (first exclusively BFing while I was on leave, now pumping/BFing since I’ve been back to work for a month and a half). We had lots of trouble with latching in the beginning, but fixed that. Now it’s really hard for me to pump enough to keep up with his feedings while I’m at work, but we’re making it work (barely) with me pumping 3x/day at work and squeezing in two pumps on the weekend, plus 1-2 oz of formula here and there when we run short.
Now I just found out that I need to travel cross-country for two days next month, when DS will be 6.5 months. I haven’t been able to build up any stash at all, so if I go, we will have to use formula. I’m not anti-formula as a principle at all; I just feel like I’ve been working so hard to make BFing work and I’m scared that two days away from my baby, pumping for all feedings, and giving him formula will mess things up. I could decline the trip but it’s a really great professional opportunity for me. Has anyone BTDT? Any advice on how to make this easier for both me and baby?
Spirograph says
I have! I didn’t even go for work, I just selfishly flew to visit my sister for several days when my baby was about 5 months old. She had some milk, some formula, I pumped and flew back with a cooler of bags of frozen milk, and everything returned to normal. Since you have a bit of lead time, you could try to build up a bit more of a stash before you leave — but it’s not worth stressing out about. Even if he drinks straight formula for two days, and even if you can’t maintain your schedule perfectly, at 5 months his nursing mechanics are better established and your supply is better established than it was earlier so it will be easy to jump back in when you get home. It will be fine, you can do it!
AwayEmily says
I am so sympathetic. I was convinced the entire time I was breastfeeding that missing a feeding, traveling, etc would all tank my supply. I have a lot of regrets about all the time I spent being sad and anxious about it. I’m pregnant now and am planning on dropping to 1 pump a day (and supplementing with formula) at around 6 months. With my first I dropped to 1 pump a day at 9 months and it made SUCH a huge difference in my emotional well-being. For me dropping to once a day was easier emotionally than stopping pumping completely would have been (I still felt like I was doing “something” and keeping up my supply) and it had no impact on my ability to feed her in the AM/PM.
So I guess my advice would be — what about just making the conscious decision that you will use this opportunity to *purposefully* embrace combo feeding? You’ll still feed him in the morning and night, maybe still pump once during the day if you want, but you will get SO much time and emotional energy back.
Also, your body is SO smart. Pumping for two days won’t affect your supply — or if it does, then it will bounce back really quickly as soon as you get back from your trip. You’ve been doing this for five months — at this point your body can go on autopilot a lot easier than you think. When my baby was five months I literally did not pump OR feed her at all for three days (I had food poisoning) and my supply still bounced back (and I was not someone with an oversupply). We all hear so much scary stuff about our “supply” and how fragile it is during the first month or so of our babies’ lives, and my hypothesis is that we all internalize that WAY too much and think that, like, missing one pump will be the END OF BREASTFEEDING but really that’s just not the way our bodies work.
Anyway, this is a really long-winded way of saying: (1) I totally empathize, and (2) is it possible to look at this as an opportunity to shift away from the stress-filled pumping life and towards a more relaxed combo feeding life rather than as a scary thing to get through?
Knope says
Wow, thank you. I needed to hear that. I hadn’t considered that this could be freeing for me, and it sounds better and better the more I think about it. Thank you!!
JP says
So, this sounds crazy, but I found that 2-3 days of exclusively pumping on a work trip actually boosted my supply. Plus it’s the best feeling to come home with tons and tons of milk, and you can even pop it right into the freezer so that it’s there the next time this comes up.
Before I go, I add a pump a day and give the baby more formula than usual, so I have lots of bmilk in the fridge, and whoever’s taking care of her can give her a mix. But I’ve had to go on short notice and she just got formula, and she was fine.
I’d do the trip. Also just imagine that sweet, sweet night of sleep in the hotel room.
21 Weeks says
This may or may not be helpful, depending on your situation, however:
My BF life improved when I started pumping one side in the morning when I did the first feeding (between 5-7am??). I even did this on weekends. It was when I was most full, so I was able to build my stash and make up for the slight deficit I had between workday pumping and what kiddo drank while I was at work.
I always let kiddo nurse the other side when I was done pumping that side; I assume infants are more efficient than pumps, which would more fully empty my bo-0bs and trigger slight increase in production.
Other than that, only commiseration! Fed babies are good! You’re a great mom!
Newbie Momma says
So my six month old STILL isn’t sleeping great at night. We’ve accomplished the putting him down wide awake thing for naps and at night, but with a paci. I’m thinking we have to lose the paci in order for him not to call out at night and put himself back to sleep. But I seriously love the paci. We only use it for sleep and occasional fussiness in public, and it’s so convenient. So do I white knuckle it until he can replace it on his own or do we just need to deal with the paci now?
SC says
Is the issue that he doesn’t have the ability yet to replace his own pacifier, or does he lose it and is unable to find it when he wakes up? (Sorry, I don’t remember what age babies do things anymore.)
If it’s the latter, you could try clipping the pacifier to his pajamas. Or my pediatrician told us that he and his wife would put their daughter down with like a dozen pacifiers scattered around the bed so she could reach out and find one wherever she had migrated to.
Anon says
Any chance he’ll take a wubbanub? It’s big enough for them to find it on their own so, in my case, dramatically cut down on the middle-of-the-night calls.
But I loved the paci and refused to make my kids give it up until around 15 months. My sleep and sanity was well worth it.
Anon in NYC says
My kid is a thumb sucker and I would so much rather deal with a paci. A few tips that I’ve heard from friends whose kids like a pacifier: Scatter a few around in his crib, so he can easily find one and consider putting in one of those mesh breathable bumpers so that he can’t knock them out of his crib.
Anonymous says
+1. Scatter them around like breadcrumbs. I put one in each corner and put her down with a 5th (excessive? maybe…). I have no idea why you think losing the paci will help him sleep better. I am a firm believer that a paci taker will be a better sleeper with a paci.
mascot says
+1. Our solution was also mesh bumpers and all.the.pacis.
Katala says
If it helps, you’re probably close to him being able to replace it. Maybe try a wubbanub or similar so he can find it? My 6 month old can put the paci in his mouth awake, but hasn’t mastered letting go of it. And he doesn’t seem to look for it at night, just cries or sometimes puts himself back to sleep. But we haven’t done any sleep training beyond letting him whimper for a few minutes and hoping he goes back to sleep on his own. By 6 months, my oldest was great at thumb sucking, so this is new. No great advice, but you’re not alone!
AwayEmily says
We used pacifier for naps (and for grocery store emergencies/wailing in the car) but never at night, so that’s another option. She kept using it during naps until she was about 10 months old, then dropped it on her own. I read somewhere that kids are pretty good at distinguishing between “nap” and “night,” and that seemed to be true for ours.
Bbyardley says
I had a c section with my first 5 months ago due to suddenly low heart rate. I was in the hospital for preterm rupture of membranes and I did not labor at all and didnt even feel a single BH. I want C-sections in the future because of the element of control and being able to skip the painful and unpredictable part of labor and delivery . Also don’t undervalue the benefits of not sustaining pelvic floor damage !