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As the weather warms, I find myself reaching for more relaxed silhouettes and accessories like this slouchy bag from 3.1 Phillip Lim.
This soft, color-blocked tote is completely lined and features a knotted, drawstring closure and inner slip pockets large enough to hold a laptop. I could see this becoming my go-to everyday bag for spring and beyond.
The Origami Tote is $750 at 31philliplim.com. It’s also available in black. You can also find it at Saks Fifth Avenue and Bloomingdale’s.
Sales of note for 4.18.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 50% off full-price dresses, jackets & shoes; $30 off pants & skirts; extra 50% off sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything; extra 20% off purchase
- Eloquii – 50% off select styles; 60% off swim; up to 40% off everything else
- J.Crew – Mid-Season Sale: Extra 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off spring-to-summer styles
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Spring Mid-Season Sale: Up to 50% off 100s of styles
- Nordstrom: Free 2-day shipping for a limited time (eligible items)
- Talbots – Spring Sale: 40% off + extra 15% off all markdowns; 30% off new T by Talbots
- Zappos – 29,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Up to 70% off baby items; 50% off toddler & kid deals & 40% off everything else
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off spring faves; 25% off new arrivals; up to 30% off spring
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Up to 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off kids’ spring-to-summer styles
- Old Navy – 30% off your purchase; up to 75% off clearance
- Target – Car Seat Trade-In Event (ends 4/27); BOGO 25% off select skincare products; up to 40% off indoor furniture; up to 20% off laptops & printers
Anon says
Any experience treating Pneumonia in a 4 yr old? My son has had a persistent cough and complains of being fatigued constantly, and we saw a pulmonologist earlier this week. The pulmonologist suspected asthma, but ordered a chest x-ray to make sure there were no abnormalities. I received a call on Monday that the radiologist thinks the Xray shows signs of pneumonia, but the pulmonologist disagrees. Essentially, pulmonologist (and another doctor in his practice) thinks no pneumonia, and radiologist thinks yes. The pulmonologist basically left it up to me whether we (1) treat it like pneumonia with an initial round of heavy duty antibiotics, or (2) jump right into a daily inhaler with some pretty heavy duty asthma medication for a month (which he said at the appointment could have some longterm risk to his growth, which is significant for a lot of reasons and in particular bc he’s in the absolute smallest percentile for growth and always has been).
Interestingly, the pulmonologist recommended we go straight to the daily inhaler b/c the antibiotics are pretty heavy duty (and clearly bc he and another doctor in the practice disagree with the finding of pneumonia by the radiologist) but now I’m second guessing this decision — why wouldn’t we want to start with treating it as though it’s pneumonia and go with the short term antibiotics first (which yes, have a side effect of GI issues, but no growth issues?) Then, if the cough persists after the antibiotics, we can try adding in the asthma medication? WWYD? If your child had pneumonia, did antibiotics clear it up? If you have a diagnosis of asthma, did a daily inhaler help? Ugh.
Anon says
This is a tough one. Im inclined to agree with your line of thinking — start with the antibiotics in case it is an acute condition, rather than jumping right to assuming a chronic condition. I’m very sensitive about overusing antibiotics, but you do have a medical professional telling you it’s pneumonia.
You also have more context which could perhaps point one way or the other — how long has this been going on, did he have a fever or other bad cold symptoms at some point, etc. Or has he struggled with coughs and on and off breathlessness for a while, seemingly independent of illnesses?
Cornellian says
that’s rough. I am very skeptical of how often we use antibiotics, but I think I would be inclined to try the short brutal treatment without longer term issues first in this situation.
Is the long-term asthma medication Qvar? Is there a reason they couldn’t try a less intense rescue-inhaler-as-needed treatment? I had pretty bad asthma as a kid, and still feel incredible relief maybe 3-4x a year from my rescue inhaler, but I haven’t had luck with longer-term asthma medications. Being on Qvar or another steroid inhaler long term would make me anxious if it weren’t truly the only option.
Anonymous says
I would get a second opinion from someone outside the pulmonologist’s practice. As someone with asthma, I am skeptical that asthma would cause fatigue as opposed to just feeling winded. When I am truly fatigued it is because I am sick. My experience with pediatric pulmonologists is also that they like to treat asthma very aggressively and require a lot of expensive and time-consuming follow-up visits, so I think their financial incentive and bias is to push for long-term asthma treatment whenever they can.
Anon says
I had asthma medicine long term as a child and the doctors told my parents it would stunt my growth. I ended up 5’11 (and taller than both my parents, so it’s unlikely my genetic destiny was 6’2”). I wouldn’t worry too much about that aspect.
AnonOP says
All this is helpful, thank you – especially since I don’t have any prior experience with asthma. Relevant, he did two rounds of penicillin, and the cough improved while on the medication (though never went away entirely), but came back with a vengeance as soon as he finished, which is how we ended up at a pulmonologist. So treating the pneumonia was going to be another round with a different antibiotic.
The daily inhaler is SYMBICORT, or budesonide formoterol, with a rescue inhaler prescribed as needed. It’s a phlegmy cough more than a wheezy one.
I am wildly sensitive to overuse of antibiotics — but I still have to believe it’s better than an inhaled steroid for a month? I’m just not confident it’s asthma to begin with, and the radiologist + improvement on penicillin makes me feel like I should call today and ask for one more round of antibiotics. ugh. As someone who really doesn’t love medicating my children, neither option seems great.
Anonymous says
Disclaimer: I am not a doctor or any sort of medical professional. I am describing my own experience.
If it’s a phlegmy cough I would very much suspect some sort of infection. I am the poster above with asthma who suggested a second opinion. My “normal asthma” cough is dry. When it’s phlegmy I usually have bronchitis or pneumonia. Sometimes inhaled steroids will be prescribed for a lunch infection, along with antibiotics if the infection is believed to be viral.
He could very well have asthma too, which would make him more vulnerable to bronchitis and pneumonia, but I would want to get the infection resolved and wait a while for any lingering cough to have a chance to subside on its own before pursuing an asthma diagnosis. There is all sorts of lung function testing they do for that.
I think the fact that you are posting this question is a sign that you are not confident in the pulmonologist’s dismissal of the possibility of pneumonia. That uncertainty is enough of a reason to get another opinion. The conflict with the radiologist’s diagnosis is another reason.
Anonymous says
Or even just skip the second opinion and insist on the antibiotics? But I’d be concerned that in the long run this pulmonologist will continue to push for an asthma diagnosis even if the antibiotics work.
I find it kind of odd that he’s basically delegating the diagnosis to you.
Anonymous says
Holy cow–“lunch infection”? I swear that this webs!te changes half the words I type when I hit submit.
Anonymous says
I would (a) ask the pulmonologist why he disagrees – specifically ask him what he saw on the imaging that made him think it’s not pneumonia and (b) if you are really worried, get a second opinion from another pulmonologist. Ultimately I would defer to the pulmonologist not the radiologist in this scenario.
I want to be clear that radiologists are very skilled but they are not diagnosticians. The pulmonologist only reviews lung imaging and can often interpret things that radiology missed/is not attuned to. My spouse is a different type of physician that has to review a lot of imaging and regularly finds things on the imaging that the radiologist missed and identifies subtleties not noted by the radiologist that are very important to the diagnosis.
NYCer says
+1 to all of this.
Anonymous says
This.
AnonOP says
I agree, which is why I initially went with the recommendation from the Pulmonologist (especially when he mentioned that he got a second opinion from a pulmonologist in his office), but as a poster above mentioned, I’m clearly still have second thoughts a week later! When receiving medical information, I only retain like a solid 25% of what they say. I usually have my husband with me to retain more info, but when the doctor called, I didn’t want to risk missing his call (and it’s so hard to get the doctor on the phone) so I picked it up even though my husband couldn’t join the call. I think he said something to the effect of “I see what the radiologist saw, there is some inflammation, but I just don’t suspect pneumonia.” He also said he didn’t want my son to go another month without relief, which is why he recommended the daily inhaler now, and going on antibiotics in like a month if he isn’t better. So looking back, I guess even he wasn’t a definitive no to pneumonia? The xray was read by a radiologist at a well renown children’s hospital that includes a level iv nicu, but I agree with your statement about generalist v. diagnostician.
And I desperately wish we could get another opinion, but I made this appointment in January — and this appointment was a cancellation! In general, in my area pediatric pulmonologists are booking 6 to 8 months out. I don’t want him to wait another six months for another pulmonologist to see him, since he’s really seeming to struggle. Ugh. Thanks for all your thoughts. I’m going to ruminate for another night.
Anonymous says
This seems really aggressive for treatment. I have asthma, and it’s definitely a dry/itchy cough for me. I have an albuterol inhaler, which I use only as a rescue inhaler. Asthma doesn’t make me fatigued.
My 3.5 yo had a persistent colorful phlegm-y cough and fatigue and is currently in the middle of a round of augmentin (also has an ear infection, and amoxicillin hasn’t been great at treating those for her in the past). She’s had a handful of mild colds since the holidays, and the last one a few weeks ago seemed to hit her a little harder. Ped suspected she was at least on the way to pneumonia, if not already there, and we agreed that it made sense to do a round of antibiotics first, especially given the ear infection. She was making a pretty obvious crackling sound when she took deep breaths. Her cough is still there, but dramatically improved (no more crackling), and she was back to her normal level of energy within about 48 hours of starting antibiotics. Ped says that there are a ton of kids coming in with the same thing right now.
My understanding is that asthma isn’t usually diagnosed via x-ray; the x-ray is used to rule out other conditions. If the radiologist thinks the x-ray is showing pneumonia, I’d want the pulmonologist to explain why he doesn’t think it’s really pneumonia.
Did you start with your ped’s office, or did you go straight to the pulmonologist?
anon says
My 6 yo child has had pneumonia twice, and it presented as a cold symptoms + a fever + intense fatigue. The cough wasn’t even that bad. We did not even get a chest x ray, it was heard in her lungs. Yes, the antibiotics are strong, but they worked in a day and my kid stopped crashing at 4 pm and sleeping till the next morning. She was able to hold it together at school but would just be wiped out after, and her appetite was affected. Some kids get this “walking pneumonia”. The first time, the dr. was like we can wait a few days and see or you can do antibiotics now. We did antibiotics now. THe second time I tried to get ahead of it when she had a high fever a few days and the first dr. did not hear it in the lungs and did not want to prescribe. Had to go back two days later and there it was.
The antibiotics worked super quickly – like 1 day and she was getting her energy/self back. I will not hesitate to give my child antibiotics. YMMV but a lot of younger dr in particular have taken the antibiotics resistence thing too far.
AnonOP says
Was your child on amoxicillin? or a heavier duty antibiotic? I felt like my son had a lot of relief on amoxy, but the cough didn’t disappear.
Anonymous says
Younger drs take the antibiotics resistance thing too far – until they have kids of their own. That’s when they seem to figure out that appropriate use of antibiotics is necessary.
Anon says
I have asthma and reactive airway disease and have had pneumonia dozens of times. My kids have similar lungs and were also treated for pneumonia at age 4.
Are you already doing albuterol every 4 hours during the day using a nebulizer? If not, you should be to open up his airways. That’s the first step. I’d also continue the albuterol for at least two weeks after the cough is completely gone. If he’s been sick for a while, I’d also add budesonide. You don’t have to keep him on it forever, but a month of treatment to get over the hump will get you to spring. (If he has any spring allergies, I’d make sure those are addressed before stopping the budesonide or the cough could come back.)
I’d also do the antibiotics. It sounds like he’s been sick for a while. My experience is that it’s very, very hard to recover from chest crap once it’s so entrenched. I will cough for months and months without getting better, but a good round of antibiotics plus albuterol and budesonide will finally let me recover.
I’ll also add that you really need to be pushing fluids until the cough is gone. More liquids really, really help with recovery. I don’t know why (maybe thinning lung secretions?), but it helps immensely.
I’ll also add that I had pneumonia at least twice a year until a couple years ago–coinciding with getting the pneumonia vaccine. If he hasn’t been vaccinated for pneumonia (both strains), I’d strongly consider it once he’s recovered.
Anon says
I’ll add that just asthma doesn’t lead to severe fatigue unless your O2 stats are low. He likely has some sort of infection. But if his lungs are reactive and asthmatic, an antibiotic won’t be enough to clear the infection so the cough will return. That’s why you treat with both asthma meds and an antibiotic. They work together.
AnonOP says
Thank you for this — everything you just said makes a lot of sense based on my son’s progression. This is really helpful.
The doctor went straight to budesonide – he’s supposed to be on this for a month, and the doctor did tell me we can add an antibiotic on top of it (or I guess instead of it?), but that it would be hard to tell if the antibiotic cleared up the cough or the budesonide did if we do both. He’s already done a few rounds of just penicillin, which helped but didn’t clear it up. Which is why we are starting with just budesonide, I guess?
I don’t know. I feel badly for him, and I feel like he’s been on so much medication, but he is still struggling.
Anon says
Is he on albuterol? That’s usually the first step before you even get to budesonide.
Anonymous says
+1 million to all of this. If it were my kid or myself, I would go for antibiotics + steroids + albuterol. You can always discontinue the steroids after he’s recovered from the infection and then do further testing and resume steroids if necessary later.
I once had asthmatic bronchitis for nearly a year straight and it was absolutely miserable. If he’s been experiencing symptoms since January and is fatigued, I would accept the antibiotics without hesitation. IME doctors don’t tend to factor quality of life into their recommendations. This pulmonologist is basically saying it might be pneumonia but we can’t be sure, but let’s wait a month to treat it as a diagnostic tool. That is just cruel. I would ask “Why can’t we do steroids and antibiotics now to get him feeling better ASAP, discontinue steroids, and then do pulmonary function testing for asthma and resume steroids if warranted?”
Anom says
+1. Do both plus albuterol.
AnonOP says
Thank you everyone — I really appreciate hearing your perspective. I’ve never experienced these types of symptoms, so it’s hard to know how to be an advocate for my kid feeling better, while also being aware that it feels like a lot of doctors are throwing up their hands, suggesting a diagnosis, then throwing some medicine at him. You’ve all given me the right language to call back and talk through how to help him actually feel better, not just moderately improve before backsliding.
Anon says
I tend to get congestion and start snoring during pregnancy. Any recommendations for some kind of nose clip to open up the nasal passages more? I don’t want to use those breathe right strips because they have weird chemicals and they’re pretty wasteful anyway.
Anon says
My cousin is finally (!!) pregnant with her first after a long and hard road trying to get pregnant. I’m over the moon thrilled for her and want to send her something for Mother’s Day. In addition to flowers are there any things you would have appreciated as an expectant mom? No baby items (Jewish and not doing a shower) but things for her are ok.
OOO says
Pregnancy pillow
Gift card to a maternity store or shoe store
DoorDash gift card
Gift card to a spa that offers prenatal massage
Anon says
It’s so nice of you to be happy for her, but as someone who has been through multiple losses, I would’ve been devastated to get flowers on Mother’s Day when there isn’t actually a baby in my arms yet. This is very individual, so make sure you know her preferences before sending the surprise.
Anon says
Yeah I was going to say this too. And I actually did not have losses but am also Jewish and was very superstitious when pregnant – I would not have wanted flowers for the same reason I didn’t want baby stuff.
It’s incredibly kind of you to be thinking of her but I would confirm this stuff would be welcomed before you send it.
Bette says
+1
I have been through multiple losses over several years before having my first and I would frame it as a “thinking of you on this day” gift as opposed to a mother’s day gift. Also jewish and I was too superstitious to do any baby things like that before the baby actually came.
Similarly, I would give her something consumable (doordash gift card would be my preference) rather than tangible in case something happened to the pregnancy. That way there would be no physical reminders.
Anon says
I’m the one who posted this comment and I’m not Jewish myself – is there a tradition in Jewish religion/culture to not think of the baby as “there” until it’s born? That’s very interesting and it makes sense to me…
I’m also coming at this from still being triggered from a well-meaning friend saying I was “postpartum” when I lost my first at 10 weeks.
Anon says
Yes. Well, Ashkenazi (European) Jews. Ashkenazi Jews don’t normally have baby showers or buy a lot of baby stuff until the baby is physically here. It’s not a religious rule, it’s just a cultural practice (which means that many atheist Jews also follow it).
Anonymous says
Same, re: multiple losses. I would do a DoorDash or similar gift card or a spa gift card (without mentioning prenatal massage) and frame it more as a “thinking of you” then anything specific to Mother’s Day, unless she’s specifically mentioned being excited about Mother’s Day. Mother’s Day was very hard until I had a baby, and I still don’t think of it as a happy day.
Vicky Austin says
Maybe a “just because” gift not on Mother’s Day would be more appropriate?
Anonymous says
++++
A friend who experienced a miscarriage was adamant she did not want a shower and bought almost nothing before the birth.
After a few losses now myself, I get it. My first Mother’s Day was extremely emotional and I did not feel comfortable thinking about myself as a mom until I held my first baby in my arms.
I would strongly recommend against doing anything, if I’m honest.
Anon says
yes, i am jewish too, and especially with the tradition of no baby stuff, i’d just send her something for herself, but unrelated to mothers day. like prenatal massage, flowers, etc.
Anonymous says
What to you will feel like a gesture of support/ celebration could feel to her like added pressure. I would advise against doing anything.
Slim water bottle recs? says
I’m looking for a slim straw cup for my 15mo toddler. Currently using the Munchkin weighted straw cup, which works fine generally
But, I bought the skip hop toddler leash backpack and it’s a tight fit to get the water bottle inside along with a diaper/snack, much less in the tiny mesh pocket on the side. Anyone who has this mini backpack and a water bottle that fits?
Anonymous says
I wonder if the Thermos Funtainer would work?
Anonymous says
I was coming here to say this.
DLC says
Often if a water bottle doesn’t fit, I’ll clip it on with a carabiner.
Anony says
I loved the Dr. Brown’s straw bottle, and it’s much slimmer than the Munchkin.
Anon says
Sleep deprived rant. We’re 12 weeks into 2024 and my kids’ school has had 48 days of school on the schedule. Today we’re on child’s sick day number 12. We’ve also had 1 snow day and 2 half days. So this year I’ve had both kids in school all day for 33 days total. On average thats about 3 days of school per week this year (if I don’t include the week of vacation where we went away). I’ve also had some health issues that required 3 doctor visits myself. I work part time and I’m barely keeping up. People say the sick thing gets better as they get older, but mine are young elementary and I’m still waiting…
Anon says
I think there’s some randomness. I definitely feel like my elementary age kid gets sick much, much less than the early daycare years but there can be an occasional bad year where she’s sick more than expected.
Anonymous says
Wow, that sounds like a lot of sick time for elementary school. Just for perspective, I have 3 kids and since January, they’ve missed:
Kid 1: 1 day of school (general grossness)
Kid 2: 1 day of school plus one half day (headcold)
Kid 3: 1 day of school (missing a friday because I took her skiing)
I just checked and for the entire school year none of them have missed more than 4 days due to illness.
Anon says
If they didn’t go to daycare, it seems pretty normal. My kindergartner has only missed two days all year for illness (one random fever and one vomiting incident) but she was a daycare kid from age 1 and we went THROUGH IT then, nonstop illness from September of her first year in daycare until March, when the world shut down for Covid.
Anonymous says
This school year has just been terrible for viruses. My school-aged kid has had RSV, the flu, and a couple of nasty colds.
Anonymous says
I have 2 8 year old girl bday parties this weekend and I forgot to get them something. Would your kiddo rather:
$20 to the local fancy ice cream store + small token gift (lipgloss or nail polish)
$20 to target + small token gift (lipgloss or nail polish)
$25ish worth of bath/beauty stuff from tjmaxx
All with a handmade card by my kid.
Usually I have my kids do the shopping but we won’t have time before the parties.
Anon says
Target
Cb says
Ice cream! Consumables always feel better. Alternatively, gift card to a local bookshop?
Anonymous says
I love that idea but we don’t really have one. The closest one is like 20 minutes and I don’t have time to drive out there in the next 24 hours.
AwayEmily says
Target — but YMMV; my 8yo has zero interest in nail polish or lipgloss or beauty stuff (for whatever reason that interest just hasn’t hit anyone in her classroom yet).
Anon says
Same
Anonymous says
These are my daughters friends so we can pick an appropriate little something. Most of them are into bath bombs.
Anonymous says
$20 to the ice cream store, a card. And zero makeup!
NYCer says
Target 100%.
Anonymous says
Target, with a bath bomb as the token gift in case the parents don’t allow nail polish or lip gloss. Second choice is ice cream. The junky bath and beauty stuff from TJ Maxx will just end up as clutter. If she wants bath stuff, it’s more fun to pick out her own at Target.
anon says
Ice cream!
Anonymous says
Ice cream but in our circles I would consider a lower amount and skip the token gift.
CCLA says
Target or the bath/beauty stuff, but my 7.5yo would get a kick out of being able to shop for herself. We had multiple play dates this weekend ages 5-9 and the biggest hits were temporary tattoos, face glitter, and nail painting, so the tj maxx stuff would prob be good too.
Cb says
Vent to the universe – my kid’s school has 800 kids in it. We’re oddballs as a family with both parents working FT. I’m trying to coordinate the school uniform exchange during parents’ evenings and cannot for the life of me fill 8 30-minute slots. It’s very chill, you can bring your kids, I just need a warm body to stand in a room and help families browse.
Anonymous says
Perspective: I do all sorts of volunteer stuff and I would never, ever sign up for a 30-minute public-facing shift on a project I knew nothing about because I’d be afraid people would ask me questions I couldn’t answer. I think you’d be more successful finding just one or two other people to help prepare, clean up, and staff the exchange.
Cb says
If I could find someone to commit to a 3 hour block, I definitely would. My husband is going to take flex so he can manage 4-5 and I can do the rest of the evening, but I’m just going to have to cancel the Tuesday.
Anon says
Really? I would much rather do a 30 minute shift! If people asked me stuff I don’t know, I’d tell them “I’m not the organizer, can you email your question to Cb?” It’s not that hard to use your words and no one should expect every volunteer to have all the details.
Vicky Austin says
I cannot believe you’re oddballs on this count among 800 families?! (Well, probably fewer; siblings. But still!)
Anonymous says
Is it during sports/other activities? I’m not sure this is a working parent issue, evenings are just tricky times. What if you shortened it to 4 1 hour shifts? We had luck filling shifts this way for recess help.
Alternatively, who goes to this uniform exchange? Can you offer free admission (if there is a fee) for doing a shift? Can you send a threatening note “uniform exchange will be cancelled if we can’t get these slots filled, so if you are headed over to browse anyway, please sign up for a shift! Bring the kids!”
Anonymous says
Happy “Finance Bro Wearing Collegiate Branded Peter Millar Quarter Zip Day” to all who celebrate/endure the first day of March Madness at work. I’m in Charlotte, so the office and streets are a sea of Carolina blue quarter zips. There are currently 4 TVs in our office already streaming pre game coverage and pizza and wings are being brought in for lunch.
Also, small rant – why is it that schools seem to sense the one time you’ll have free time and have the house to yourself/spouse out of town for the first time since your child was born and decide that is a good weekend night to have the new family ice cream social? I had plans to ask the grandparents to watch my rising Kindergartener for one night the weekend DH is on a guys trip so I could go to a fancy charity gala with friends. But then yesterday we got an invite from the school we’ll be going to next year for this new family event that starts the same time as the gala and I’m just bummed. It’s the right thing to cancel my plans to go to the gala and take my son to this event, I’m just super bummed. Rant over, thank you for listening.
Anon2 says
I would not cancel! Kindergarten is many months away and I would not attend a social event for it when I had conflicting plans. Everything feels so momentous when you have a child entering elementary school, but it’s really not. We moved twice, through two new schools while my kids were in their K & 2nd grade year (to a temporary residence then to our permanent town) so we had no welcome wagons, and it was FINE. There will be more opportunities to meet people.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Go to the gala. An event for rising K-ers is nice, but not necessary, especially when you have other plans.
Anonymous says
March Madness isn’t just for the bros. I’m a Carolina alum wearing a Carolina blue scarf into the office and awaiting 2:45 PM to check updates on my phone…
Anonymous says
Op here – I am a huge college basketball fan and will have one of my monitors devoted to the games I’m most interested in a bit later today. I just find it amusing that there are 6 guys in my office wearing the exact same Carolina blue zip up, not to mention the other dozen or so I saw when I went I grab a coffee. It’s apparently the official uniform of today (was just trying to make a joke). My practice group had a meeting yesterday about coverage during games today and tomorrow. I am not personally a Carolina fan, so I’m covering two calls during that time.
Anon says
Couldn’t your parents take the kid to the kindergarten welcome event? I think it’s good for the kid to go (obviously not a disaster if they can’t, but I’d try to make it happen if possible) but zero reason you need to be there.
Anonymous says
OP here – they could, but that would be a giant pain for all of us since they live about 30 minutes north of where I am, and we already plans with my parents at their house earlier in the afternoon that same day (so I was just going to leave kiddo there). My husband got my son all excited about the ice cream event even before I got home yesterday, so that’s also complicating things. I’m just annoyed and it’s so petty to share with people in real
Life that I wanted to vent as an anon. internet person.
Anon says
i give you permission to go to the gala. it made my kids too anxious to go to events months ahead of time for their new school and served no purpose.
NYCer says
I guess I will be the outlier and say that if it were me, I would cancel and go to the welcome event at the school with my kid. I assume this is a private school since the welcome event is happening in the spring (at least around here, it is the private schools having welcome events now), and I can speak from experience that they are generally well attended and fun for the kids. It is also a nice opportunity to connect with other parents too. YMMV, as I am clearly in the minority here. :)
Anonymous says
In my last job I did consulting work that required collecting data on clients’ employees’ workload and work flow. Every client asked to avoid March Madness for the data collection period because people spent so much time in conference rooms or on their phones watching games. Other events we were asked to avoid included the Kentucky Derby (obviously in Kentucky) and the opening of pheasant season.
Mary Moo Cow says
The opening of pheasant season is so hilarious to me — and I have lived in states where the opening day of deer season is sacred. It’s just the delightful specificity absurdity, and that I can hear Rahul from Bake Off saying, “Oh, look, a pheasant.”
And also I expect the TV in our breakroom to get a reprieve from HGTV for basketball for the next few weeks.
Doodles says
I just love that it’s universal for breakroom TVs to be set to HGTV. That’s all ours has shown for years! And we have 9 floors / 9 kitchens. An assistant on each floor somehow decides every morning to turn on HGTV :)
anon says
Skip the kinder event :) if you want to expose him to school what we did was just use the playground over the summer to get familiar with it. Enjoy the gala!
Audio Book Recs? says
Looking for audio book recommendations for a road trip with two boys , 7 and 10, who are pretty stereotypically “boy” in their interests. I think they probably need something that’s pretty exciting or has really good voice actors — we’ve tried Paddington and Ralph S Mouse in the past and they were bored. They love podcasts (Circle Round, Brains On, Forever Ago) so I think it’s just a matter of finding the right book.
Anonymous says
I love the Wonderful Wizard of Oz audiobook narrated by Anne Hathaway. She gives the Cowardly Lion a New Jersey accent.
Cb says
How to Train Your Dragon! And the Wizards of Once. Both voiced by David Tennant and amazing stories.
Anon says
The ‘How to Train your Dragon’ series, a Roald Dahl collection, and the ‘Magic Treehouse Series’ were big hits for us (I HATED the voice actors for the Magic Treehouse but my kid was obsessed). The Hobbit and Harry Potter would also be good for this age.
Anon2 says
I’m going to suggest another podcast, Greeking Out. It is so well produced it feels like you are listening to an action adventure story. My three boys (very BOY) all love it, and there are 9 seasons so plenty of content. I also love it!
(Also very educational. Now when my boys sword fight they pretend they are Odysseus and Achilles)
AwayEmily says
My kids ADORE Greeking Out. As do all friends-in-the-car we have introduced it to.
Cb says
Who let the gods out! Is another great myth book.
Spirograph says
My similar-age boys have similar tastes (we also love the entire Brains On universe). If you have Audible, check out the Scott McCormick Audible Originals! There are several, but the ones about Spies, Pirates, and Vikings were our favorites. They have a full cast, history told in a fun way, and are funny and engaging for both kids and adults. My kids also liked the Percy Jackson audiobooks. The voice actor isn’t great, in my opinion, but he didn’t stop the kids from wanting to listen to the entire series.
octagon says
My kid LOVES Alcatraz and the Evil Librarians, which is legit hilarious to listen to. Parts of the story break the fourth wall and talk directly to the reader (listener), and the voice work is pretty good. There are six books total in the series.
Roald Dahl might be good here too – Fantastic Mr Fox has a good bit of action in it.
Anon says
Gregor the Overlander was a big hit with my kids on audiobooks at those ages.
DLC says
+1 to How to Train your Dragon- even my Husband loves these.
We also really like Adam Gidwitz’s books. The Inquisitor’s Tale is one of my favorites. His Grimm series is hilarious, though a little macabre, but my kids love it.
Anonymous says
Yes to the Inquisitor’s Tale!
Anonymous says
The Series of Unfortunate Events audiobooks are great for that age , particularly the ones read by the author! Also fun for adults.
Roald Dahl – the Chris O’Dea-read Fantastic Mr Fox is spectacular.
Ifiknew says
my kids birthdays (turning 5 and 7) are from 2 to 4 on separate days. one at home and one at a local gym. what kind of food and snacks would you serve at this hour? my daughter wants Donut holes, popcorn, cupcakes. is that enough? I feel like I should serve fruit but it’s messy and I don’t know that it will get eaten..
AwayEmily says
I think the rule is just pizza, always, unless it’s a breakfast party.
Anon says
+1 Especially for the party at a place. Don’t bring all sorts of things. Often the party deals include pizza being ordered for the last half hour.
Home is a little more flexible, but I’d prob have the donut holes and popcorn at the beginning as kids are settling in, then pizza and cupcakes at the end. If you don’t want to bother timing a pizza pickup, then get a couple frozen pizzas (or bagel bites?) so each kid can have a bit before cupcakes.
Anon says
We just had a 6th birthday party from 2-4 at a gymnastics place and had fruit/veggie trays and chips out the whole time, then served pizza and cake at 3:30. I was on the fence about the pizza because I didn’t want to spoil people’s dinner plans and 3:30 is an odd time to eat a meal, but a lot of parents seemed to really appreciate it. We did put it on the invite so people knew what to expect.
Anon says
Do people with kids under 6 really have dinner plans, lol? I am thrilled when my kids eat large amounts of pizza at parties, then I can just give them some cereal at family dinner time and everyone is happy.
Anon says
Yeah that’s basically what people said to me – that they would give the kid some cereal before bed or something and they were glad they didn’t have to worry about kid dinner anymore. None of the adults ate pizza, even though they normally do at lunch parties. But I guess it gives the adults the chance to order something the kids don’t like for dinner.
Anon says
+1. Snacks at parties at this time are worse because then my kid won’t eat dinner, but hasn’t eaten anything substantial – just junk. I’d always rather give an early dinner of pizza, then a light snack before bed.
NYCer says
We recently attended a 5th birthday party that was from 2-4pm, and the hosts offered pretzels, pirates booty, apple sauce pouches and cake pops for the kids (along with juice boxes and mini water bottles), so your daughter’s requests sound similar. Apple sauce pouches seem easier than fruit if you want to include something fruit-adjacent.
I know this board leans heavily on pizza at every party, but I would definitely not expect pizza at a 2pm party.
Anon says
Agreed, I explicitly had my kid’s party at 2-4 (rather than 12-2 or 4-6) so that we didn’t need to deal with getting pizza delivered to the place and no one had issues with this. We had various prepackaged snacks (pirates booty, veggie straws, applesauce, yogurt pouches), drinks, and cupcakes and that was plenty.
It’s different if you’re hosting at a place where the party package automatically includes pizza, but if it doesn’t I don’t think you need to serve it.
Redux says
It’s enough. We just went to one at this hour and they had juice boxes, pretzels, hummus and carrots, chips out and available for the kids to serve themselves (most didn’t) and then cupcakes for the main event. In my view, the benefit of a party clearly at non-meal time is that you do not have to serve a meal. Snacks is fine.
Anon says
My 3 year old son seems to have mild social anxiety in settings where he interacts with other kids, like birthday parties (with his friends from preschool), play dates (again with friends he knows), and events at preschool outside of the routine school day. Any tips or scripts to encourage him to be brave and feel comfortable? There must be a Daniel Tiger episode for this. I think his behavior is age appropriate, but I know he can enjoy himself more when he isn’t glued to my leg!
Relatedly, we’re considering whether to redshirt him for kindergarten. We have plenty of time to decide, and I’m curious what to be aware of in our decision making process. For context, he was born over a month premature in August, so his due date would have been after the school year Sept 1 cutoff. He’s also small for his age and has had gross motor delays, so he’s been in weekly PT since birth. For example, he isn’t climbing and jumping like classmates. I think he could, but he’s scared (his word) about trying and falling. Also, he’s just not that interested! He’s very verbal, though, and extremely curious. Any thoughts we should consider over the next year or so?
Anon says
I think redshirting is out of control but I would be inclined to redshirt a shy kid born less than a month before the cutofff. In my district most summer boys and some summer girls are redshirted. He’ll be 15+ months younger than some of the kids in the class if he goes on time, and combined with small size and shy personality it could be really tough.
You can also ask daycare teachers for their opinions. They see tons of kids and know who is ready for K and who’s not. A friend sent her early June boy on time but daycare teachers gave her the seal of approval and her kid is outgoing and had been thriving in full day daycare. And early June is very different than August.
Anon says
for a boy with an August birthday I am team redshirt. i think there is a daniel tiger episode about this, but also this is soooo age appropriate and might just be his personality
Anonymous says
With love: sit back and relax! 3-year-olds are often hesitant about new people and situations. They are also much more outgoing when their parents aren’t around. You are at least a year away from the kindergarten decision. I would base that on his social, academic, and fine motor readiness rather than his size and gross motor skills. If he can use a pencil and scissors properly and function in a group environment, he’ll be fine in kindergarten. In general I think parents tend to ignore the potential harms of holding a kid back, which include boredom and the associated behavior problems, not learning to work hard, lack of resilience because everything comes too easily, and a negative attitude towards school.
NYCer says
I would redshirt him in your shoes. That being said, as another poster pointed out, many 3 year olds are shy! I would not worry too much about that or even call it mild-social anxiety at this point.
Anonymous says
Most of the worst-behaved girls and boys (but especially girls) in my kids’ classes have been redshirted. I don’t know whether it’s correlation or causation, but I suspect that being older and bigger makes them feel empowered to give in to any latent bullying tendencies.
Anon says
I have not observed that at all. But I also think there is a huge difference between missing the cutoff by a few weeks and missing it many months. A preemie kid who was born a few weeks before the cutoff is unlikely to be bigger or more advanced than other kids, even if redshirted.
Anonymous says
Re: shyness, we love the book “I Am So Brave” in our house. Its part of the empowerment series and gives us a nice touch stone for moments when a little extra bravery is required (eg we quote lines/examples from the book).
Anonymous says
If the cutoff is that early, I would not redshirt absent genuine developmental delays. September 1 is so very early. When we were kids cutoffs were in December and many kids started K at age 4. If you redshirt him he’ll be 6 for the entirety of kindergarten. Kindergarten is designed for young 5year-olds, not for 6-year-olds. In our district, kindergarteners work on letter recognition and have nap time.
Anon says
People always say this, but my cutoff was August 1 in the 80s. I think it’s highly regional.
I’m in favor of early cutoffs especially as K becomes increasingly academic. I have a February birthday kid so there was no question of redshirting, but she seemed sooo much more ready for K at 5.5 than at just turned 5. I really could not have imagined sending her at 4.5, and she is bright, outgoing, generally well-behaved and had done great in a full day play-based daycare, so it’s hard to imagine most kids are more ready than she was. K is so different from daycare these days and I think 4 is way too young to be at a desk most of the day.
anon says
Our cutoff is July 31st! These things are SO regional.
Anonymous says
If the cutoff is Sept 1 there will be non-redshirted kids who are 6 for the entirety of kindergarten or very close. Someone has to be the oldest and he wont be an outlier who is the oldest by a big margin.
Anonymous says
I wouldn’t want my kid to be the oldest, though. In fact if I had a kid with a September birthday who was ready for K I would be pushing to send him early. I think it’s better to be the youngest than the oldest, especially as school is dumbed down and tracking becomes less available.
Anon says
In my district it’s impossible to go early. If you miss the cutoff by one day you go to K when you’re almost 6. I think middle of the pack is probably ideal but there are social advantages to being older, and academic boredom has much more to do with innate ability and family environment than whether your birthday is in September or December. A very smart kid is going to be bored even as the youngest, a kid who is not academically strong won’t be bored even as the oldest.
anon says
My now 6yo has always been fairly shy/glued to my leg. I still remember the first preschool picnic at about 3 when he didn’t want to leave my lap (that part has definitely improved). Some of dealing with it for me has been just accepting that sitting on the sidelines and observing IS more fun to him than being pushed to participate. He’s a kid that a big birthday party is just really overwhelming, so for his last birthday he did a project with just two friends. FWIW, he did have some gross motor delays that may have contributed, has adhd, plus the timing of covid etc etc etc…..Anyways, it sounds like you’re doing the right things, you have him in PT, you recognize it is age-appropriate. I will add that DS has to practice athletic-like things more than my DD/most kids. But, he lovedddd learning to ride his bike and was very proud of that. Maybe pick something (with the input of PT) and give him the space to practice practice practice and build confidence?
Anonymous says
If he’s only 3 now, you don’t need to make a decision about K for another year and a lot can happen then! FWIW, my kid was also a month premature and has gross motor delays and anxiety in social situations, but holding her back for K would have been a bad plan because academically she picks things up fast and would be so bored if she was a year older than her classmates.
anon says
Is it social anxiety or just normal 3 year old behavior? I would not slap a label on that, because it is just completely typical.
I also would not be thinking about kindergarten yet.
Anon says
Yeah…I have a Ker (turned 6 in late 2023) and 3-year-old (also turned 3 in late 2023), and K for 3yo is SO far from my mind. 3yo is also in ST, so my focus is making sure he has what he needs now.
The social behavior you mention seems super normal to me. My 6-year-old still does this…
Anon says
I have a boy with literally the exact same stats (gross and fine motor delays, expresses a lot of fear regarding physical play, and has been in speech therapy for over a year, also the kiddo in the first post who seems to have asthma AND probably pneumonia and lord knows what else), except he is currently 4.5, not 3.5. So far, everyone (pediatrician, director of preschool, preschool teachers, etc.) all advise redshirting. It’s really common in our district, so I know other kids will be in his grade who are the same age, and so right now, we are on team redshirt. I will say that he has made incredible strides in the gross motor area in the last three months, and I would never have guessed we’d be here a year ago. But he’s still so far behind in fine motor and speech that every professional he’s met in the last year (teachers and doctor) all universally say redshirt.
OP says
Thanks for the feedback! I do think his anxiety is developmentally normal, just like separation anxiety is normal for newly walking babies. I’d just like a script or response to help him (and me!) in tough situations. I’ll check out the I am Brave book!
For redshirting, I agree it’s so kid specific. I’m wondering what specifically to keep an eye on. His PT mentioned, for example, that she wants him to feel confident and strong going up and down stairs without a railing so that he doesn’t get overwhelmed by other kids pushing and rushing on stairs. I appreciate the recommendations to look at social readiness and fine motor readiness. His fine motor isn’t great, but he’s a lefty in a right handed world and I’m not too worried about it!
Anon says
For context, I’m the poster above you with the boy who will be redshirted, and the PT has my son (4.5) working on going up and down stairs without a railing literally this month. So I don’t know that I’d use that as a guide. I can see the differences in my son’s preschool classroom as they near when (most of) the other kids are getting ready to go to K in the fall. They can all write some letters, mine cannot. Most can draw crude pictures that resemble some identifiable object (face, animal, whatever). In the classroom or on the playground, he has played by himself until literally this(?) month because physical play near him made him extremely uncomfortable. He’s only now beginning to play with other kids because he seems less worried about physical play near him. From a developmental and emotional standpoint, he is assessing around the age of 3, which makes him an easy “yes” to redshirt.
I can add this context, however. My oldest daughter was redshirted as well for reasons that fell far, far, far short of what I’ve outlined above (a specific medical issue that thankfully was resolved right before K), and it has been just fine. We are in a highly competitive and rigorous district, and K was extremely rigorous and academic. My middle child missed the cut-off by a week, so the decision was made for us, and I’m extremely thankful. There was absolutely no way he would have been able to make it in a K classroom in our district as a neurotypical, but immature boy. He ended up doing great — but only because he was 5 turning 6 in October, not 4 turning 5 in October. I have been in both older kids’ classrooms and coached their teams, and I generally know how old the kids are — I haven’t seen anything to suggest that the redshirted kids act out more. Also, none of my children are anywhere close to gifted, but they are bright and motivated — and have been sufficiently challenged each year they’ve been in school.
Anon says
Sorry — should have added, most of the kids are adding their names or some letters to the artwork that hangs in their classroom, and the teachers are still working with my son on holding a pencil.
anon says
Where are folks getting swimsuits/rashguards for toddlers this year? Primary runs too skinny for my kiddo and I’m not sure where else will have good quality for price…
Anon says
Target and Hanna Andersson
Anon says
I’ve found the Cat and Jack suits and rashguards at Target to wear like iron. Two boys: I buy a size up and my oldest is able to wear them for two summers and then they get handed down to his brother for two summers before being given away in almost new condition.
Anonymous says
I’m annoyed that so many of the Target rash guards for girls are crop tops. I realize that style is trendy but if I’m putting her in a rashguard it’s because I want full sun coverage!
Anon says
agreed! i want the target and old navy toddler stuff in bigger kid sizes.
Anon@11:40 says
100% buy from the boys section. I only get my kids simple solid color rash guards so we can easily mix and match. White, gray, red, navy, black. Unless she specifically wants pink or something really “girly,” she should be covered (literally and figuratively :) )
Anon says
UVSkinz brand at Costco.
DLC says
I like the SwimZip ones from amazon- they’re nice and thick and zip up the front.
CCLA says
Swimzip forever. The full zip is just so easy to put on and pull off.
anon says
I had good luck with Cat and Jack from Target or Carter’s. They’re good enough quality for a season; it’s not like toddlers will be in the same size next year.
Anonymous says
Gap, Target
New Here says
Tea Collection has been my fave for years. We got two years out of our last set.
Anonymous says
Our target had long sleeved swimsuits (toddler girls) that have snaps at the bottom – they seemed to be nice quality and great addition – hate pulling long sleeves off toddler to go to the bathroom!
Anonymous says
Land’s End
Anon says
i was the poster yesterday who was trying to figure out how to schedule various therapy appointments for my kids and fit in activities…perhaps this is just where i live, but I’d love to have my kids choose to do dance in the fall or spring, but if you don’t do it all year (at the 3 different places i looked into) you can’t be in the recital. if you skip a year of dance, then you missed Ballet I or whatever, and cannot go on with other kids your age to ballet II. with baseball/softball there is a draft starting in the 1st or 2nd grade (ridiculous, i know, but i dont plan on starting my own league so have to work with what we have). i think it is beyond absurd, but it is so hard for kids to try things later.
Anon says
In my area the serious ballet studios are like that but there are rec programs through the city and the Y where you can sign up for the recital semester (spring) only. That’s what we’re planning to do next year. My 6 year old absolutely loves being in the recital but is meh on everything else about dance and doing it all year has limited her ability to try other stuff.
I’m less familiar with soccer because we haven’t done it but I know people who do Soccer Shots which is just ~8 week sessions you sign up for individually. And our city has rec soccer that is open to anyone and apparently not a huge time commitment.
It sounds like you’re aiming for the most intense versions of activities, which fine, but then it will be a big time commitment. If you want less of a time commitment do parks and rec.
Anonymous says
Or the Y
Anon says
Yes we do dance through the Y and love it. It is super relaxed, inexpensive, you don’t have to go more than once a week even at the higher levels and our director has cultivated a very welcoming, supportive, body positive environment. I realize some of this is specific to our wonderful director, but I’m a big proponent of Y dance programs.
anon says
+1 Dance studios have year-round expectations but our county programs are fall, winter, spring, summer and you can do just one of those for dance, swimming, soccer, etc.
OP says
we actually do dance at the Y where we live (so when I said dance studio, i should have mentioned i do not mean intense places…i am trying to avoid the dance mom type places) and currently do Soccer Shots, but my kids will age out of that soon. we do not have rec level softball.
Anon says
In my city, a lot of the competition team studios are very intense if you do the team but also offer rec classes that you can sign up for on a semester basis, so you can only do the spring and be in the recital. We do the Y but I have lots of friends at a competition studio just doing the rec classes and they’re happy.
Anonymous says
This. If your kid really loves dance, though, I’d steer clear of the competition studios entirely. They will learn better technique at a professional school and as a bonus you probably won’t have to deal with competitions at all, although there will probably be a Nutcracker.
OP says
i guess our area is just an anomaly where you can only do the recital if you do both semesters even at these types of places. perhaps i’ll have to see if there are any other options
Anon says
I’m a fellow Houstonian/HISD parent. My Ker (6) does Soccer Shots during aftercare, and I believe they divide up groups so all elementary aged kids can participate.
Anonymous says
Summer sessions and day camps are a great way to try out activities to determine what they’d like to do for the entire year.
Where we live activities run very much like this, but in practice a lot of kids switch activities around the beginning of middle school or even high school, and it’s easier to break into the progression than it appears. For example, our professional ballet school has a very strict level progression, but there’s also a “catch-up” class for older elementary and young middle school beginners that gets them up to speed with their age group. In gymnastics elementary school girls with natural athletic ability will often skip preteam levels, progress through the competitive levels more quickly, and catch up to the girls who started Hot Shots classes in kindergarten. Most kids quit ballet and gymnastics in middle school, even those who were on very intensive tracks. A lot of kids pick up field hockey, lacrosse, volleyball, or track in middle school or ninth grade and end up on the varsity team in high school.
Anon says
Yep, summer camp is a good time to try out new interests. In my small city there are camps kids this age can do with no previous experience in dance, gymnastics, chess, martial arts, theatre, fine art and soccer. I think older kids have more options for ball sports.
Anonymous says
A different perspective:
My area (Boston suburb) is the same as yours; everything is full year. I will push back though that just because you miss a few early years it doesn’t mean you can’t jump in later–it just seems that way.
Examples:
Dance: in the dance schools, it’s all full year. But if you have a 2nd grader that’s never danced, s/he will be put with the 2nd graders even though the level is a little more advanced. If you’re not sure, just speak with the teacher and explain your concerns. Unless you are at the Boston Ballet Academy, it’s a non-issue.
Softball/baseball: There is a draft starting in 2nd for baseball and in the 3rd/4th league there are tryouts. But…everyone makes it. It’s just a matter of which team you are placed on. If you have a kiddo that starts to play in 2nd or 3rd grade and wants to make a more competitive team, then have them do a summer or winter clinic. If you are in the sort of area with a 1st grade draft then undoubtably you have off-season clinics!
Same is true for soccer, basketball, lacrosse– it’s all tryout based early on, but there are no “cuts”–just a group of kids on the “select” team vs the regular team. If for some reason there are more kids than spots on the team, you can just volunteer to coach and BOOM you have a team.
ICs says
My kid is in 1st and just can’t handle lots of activities. we do 1 at a time at most. it works for us, but I get really, idk, sad? or jealous? when I hear about all the activities her peers are in, scouts, gymnastics, piano, sports… I feel like I’m failing her or not preparing her as I should be. social media is a trigger lately for me too, I do not understand how these kids are willingly doing all these extras when every time we left the house to go to ballet or swim team was a knock down drag out fight. With therapy and meds I can appreciate that she’s thriving in our current routine, those things aren’t essentials (she’s a great swimmer, great student) and dance studios, scouts etc will be more than happy to take my money when she and our schedule are ready to handle it. Kids burn out/ move etc and spots will open up, or am I being dense?
Anon says
Not being dense, and I’m with you. As much as it seems like a rat race, there will be a spot for your kid, if and when she wants it, as long as you aren’t aiming for the elite leagues. As you said, they’ll take your money! Prioritizing rest and sanity — and not fighting with your kid to go to optional activities — is the way to go.
Also, I wish we could retire the phrase/feeling that we are failing our kids by not “giving them every opportunity”. Frankly, I think giving them too much too soon, and implying that their worth is based on how much they DO, is the true failure (if there’s such a thing)
ICs says
Thank you so much for this. I gave up social media for lent and am realizing how much it was effecting me seeing friends kids excel and do so much! I know deep down its a highlight reel, but I think my kid is the smartest, most talented kid there is until I get on the Gram. Also it sucks that no kids are around to play in the evenings/weekends cause they’re all at practice or have games.
Anon says
You’re not failing her! I really think most kids today are too over scheduled, particularly at this age. 6 year olds don’t need activities every weeknight.
You can definitely start things later. Kids under the age of 8 or so don’t pick things up as quickly as older kids. Serious ballet schools often don’t even start classes until age 7 or 8 because they know that teaching ballet to toddlers and kindergartners is a joke. My husband claims that kids who start basketball in early elementary school develop bad shooting form – he says the only sport little kids can do properly is soccer. There are plenty of things like golf, tennis, and running that you can easily pick up as a teen or adult.
Anonymous says
Has anyone done OT for sensory seeking behavior? I do have a sensory seeking kid, who is having some trouble keeping his hands to himself in kindergarten (unclear to me if related because his sensory seeking takes more of a crash into the couch presentation at home and what they are seeing at school presents at home as more attention seeking). Teacher mentioned OT. With our insurance it’s really hard to get approved, and we didn’t find it very helpful with our older child (different issue though), so I’m wondering what it might actually look like. We already focus on heavy work, lots of climbing, have a crash pad for jumping onto, etc .
Anon says
OT might be helpful, but to me this is also a case where some accommodations in the classroom might be necessary. it sounds like your kid needs strategies that can be used in the classroom to address his sensory seeking behavior in addition to what you are doing at home. just doing OT once a week outside of school isn’t going to make a difference.
Anon says
Is this really something that needs treatment? This sounds…normal.
Anonymous says
It is absolutely unacceptable for a kindergartener not to be able to keep his hands to himself. That lack of self-control is developmentally normal in a 2-year-old or 3-year-old preschool classroom and kids that young still get expelled for biting and hitting. Some handsy kids require discipline rather than or in addition to treatment, though.
Anonymous says
OP – sounds like teacher has been using appropriate redirection and discipline on some occasions, and also like it’s not yet a huge classroom disruption, she is more thinking it’s related to sensory seeking. I’m not sure I agree if this specific issue is due to sensory or other reasons, so we’re looking at all avenues to look at it. Separately, having recently spent a lot of time with the kindergarten Sunday school class, 70 percent of them can’t keep their hands to themselves, so that language seems a little strong 😂.
Anon says
Sensory seeking behavior is the hardest to explain to people who haven’t experienced a kid struggling with it. My mom still doesn’t understand it. She thinks it’s just “boys being boys” (ugh), and that you can just discipline it away. I strongly recommend OT — most sensory seeking kids will know HOW to seek out sensory input, but don’t have the right tools to calm down. My son’s OT gave him (1) language to use when he’s struggling for input, and (2) ways to calm down that don’t involve crashing into things. Very useful for every day living, and I think it helped him realize that he wasn’t alone in feeling like his “brain couldn’t control his body.”
Anon says
This is what I have observed too. Unless there’s more to it that sets OP’s son apart, it seems completely normal that kindergartners behave this way. Rough and tumble play is also a normal, developmentally appropriate part of childhood that has largely been discouraged in the last 20-30 years. It’s not abnormal or pathological if kids wrestle or use each other as climbing gyms and so on.
Anonymous says
Yeah I am in my daughter’s K class a lot and the majority (including my kid) have occasional struggles keeping their hands to themselves. I think it’s normal for this age and I definitely would not say it’s “absolutely unacceptable”!
Anon says
Clearly you have docile, mild children. I don’t disagree that it shouldn’t be accepted or ignored, but it IS developmentally normal. And boys in general do need more “touch” and are a bit handsy (watch kids play with friends…groups of boys are wrestling or jostling or high fiving or playing games that involve lots of physical contact).
So yes, find coping and discipline strategies, but absolutely do not shame this mother for having a son doing normal kid things. Kindergarten is very taxing for kids, who aren’t meant to sit still all day
OP says
My kids did go to daycare, so we’ve been doing this dance for years. When they were younger it was just tons of colds. Colds are mild and don’t keep them home anymore. but now its worse stuff, or things that aren’t bad, but very contagious (we’ve had 2 or 3 separate bouts of pink eye. I can’t keep track at this point). DH called me with a potential job opportunity for me today and I said, I don’t see how I could take on more work (please just trust that he does as much as he can; this isn’t a husband rant).