This post may contain affiliate links and CorporetteMoms may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.
Colorblocking can be hit or miss, but I think this it totally works here. It’s fun but flattering, and it’s a little bit different but still professional. Score! It’s $148 at Nordstrom. Olian ‘Margarette’ Colorblock Maternity Dress A couple of colorblock maternity-plus dresses are here and here. Building a maternity wardrobe for work? Check out our page with more suggestions along both classic and trendy/seasonal lines. (L-4)Sales of note for 4.18.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 50% off full-price dresses, jackets & shoes; $30 off pants & skirts; extra 50% off sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything; extra 20% off purchase
- Eloquii – 50% off select styles; 60% off swim; up to 40% off everything else
- J.Crew – Mid-Season Sale: Extra 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off spring-to-summer styles
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Spring Mid-Season Sale: Up to 50% off 100s of styles
- Nordstrom: Free 2-day shipping for a limited time (eligible items)
- Talbots – Spring Sale: 40% off + extra 15% off all markdowns; 30% off new T by Talbots
- Zappos – 29,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Up to 70% off baby items; 50% off toddler & kid deals & 40% off everything else
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off spring faves; 25% off new arrivals; up to 30% off spring
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Up to 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off kids’ spring-to-summer styles
- Old Navy – 30% off your purchase; up to 75% off clearance
- Target – Car Seat Trade-In Event (ends 4/27); BOGO 25% off select skincare products; up to 40% off indoor furniture; up to 20% off laptops & printers
See some of our latest articles on CorporetteMoms:
Click here to see our top posts!
And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
Mother of patient zero says
New parent question- if some kid is behaving really weirdly is this something we all ignore to be polite or can you ask about it? One of the kids at one of my kids classes is the oldest kid but appears to be non verbal and unable to follow any instructions. Given the age range it’s very distracting for my kid. Obviously I don’t really care if my kid masters preschool dance but having the one kid scream is unpleasant. And I may be a jerk but I’d rather my kid be in another class then one with twenty minutes of screaming.
Anonymous says
Can you provide a bit more context?
Is it a once a week dance class with a child that is just being bratty or is it a daycare class with a child who may have a disability?
My child’s daycare class has an autistic child who has a support worker. I’ve talked to my child about how everyone has different abilities and needs. She’ 4 though. I could see how it would be harder at younger ages.
Anon says
Yeah … definitely would not pull my kid out of class just because another kid also in that class had a disability. Is that really what you’re asking? How about talking to your kid about being friends with everyone, even (especially) those that are different or who seem to be having a difficult time.
rakma says
You say you don’t care if your kid masters preschool dance, but is the issue that your kid and others can’t focus or that the teacher is spending most of the class trying to manage one student? If so, I think talking to the teacher/director about managing the class different could be a constructive step.
If your kid is enjoying the class, I think it’s not worth mentioning.
Pogo says
I wouldn’t ignore it per se, but I think it’s safe to assume the child has a disability. Is the child violent towards the other kids or just disruptive?
From my own childhood I remember almost always having at least one child with a disability in all my classes until probably middle school, so it’s not something you can really avoid, nor should you – unless the other child is incredibly violent. Yes, it is not ideal having one or two very disruptive children in every class who suck up the teacher’s time every once and awhile, but I did end up getting a perfectly fine education.
Again, if this older, non-verbal kid is actually being violent that’s another story. I think then you have a right to talk to the teacher about the child’s behavior and voice your concerns.
Closet Redux says
“And I may be a jerk but…”
Yeah, this is a jerk move. Your kid is far better served by learning how to embrace difference and be a friend to the other children– even (especially) those with disabilities– than learning a preschool dance routine. Try reaching out to the other kid’s parent to see how you and your child can help. This is a real opportunity for you to be a friend to a mom who probably desperately needs one in a situation like this.
Meg Murry says
While it may be a bit jerk-ish, if this is an extracurricular OP is paying for and sitting to watch her daughter do, I totally get not wanting to pay for a class where you are subjected to sitting there and listening to 20 minutes of screaming – if it happened more than a couple of times I might highly consider just eating the cost and skip the rest of the classes rather than subject myself to a headache every Saturday morning. I don’t know that I’d complain to the school/teacher or the other parent (because I certainly am grateful that my kid *can* follow directions and is verbal), but I don’t think I’d use my precious free Saturday that way either, unless my kid absolutely loved the class despite the screaming.
Is it at least “shrieking with joy while energetically running around to the music”? Or is it “nonstop miserable screaming so that the teacher either has to spend 20 minutes focusing on the screaming child, or try to ignore the screaming child while the other kids can’t hear her instructions?” I’d probably try to suck it up for the former and maybe use it as a chance to expose my kid to others that aren’t exactly like them and how to be kind – but I’d strongly consider skipping the latter. Although if it’s only been 1-2 classes, I might give it a couple more tries to see if the screaming child calms down or if the parent pulls them if they don’t calm down.
Not exactly the same, but I stopped doing swimming lessons at our local pool for the under 5 group, because even when there were 2 teachers, often the bulk of the class was spent either convincing the terrified kids to get in the water, or keeping the brave ones from jumping in and drowning themselves when the teacher’s back was turned – and there was more than one instance where one of the teachers called off and the remaining teacher really couldn’t handle 5 kids under 5 safely in the water, so often one of us parents would go stand right next to the pool or even get in the water with them. It wasn’t worth the time and aggravation for how little my kids got from it.
Spirograph says
By ask about it, do you mean ask the teacher or ask the parent of the non-verbal child? I agree that it would be kind to reach out to the other child’s parents. They surely know their child is disruptive, and I think “we” do generally ignore it to be polite… having never been a parent of a special needs child, I don’t know whether that’s preferable to a genuine and compassionate question, but I would guess that it’s isolating to have a “different” child and for people to be scared to talk about it.
That said, I agree with Meg Murry that it’s OK to weigh the cost-benefit of this activity based on how disruptive the child is to the class, how the teachers are managing it, and especially how your own child is reacting. If the screaming is just loud and annoying, that’s one thing, but if it’s preventing the other children from being able to participate in the activity they signed up for, I’d think about whether it’s worth my time and energy.
Anonymous says
I will respectfully dissent. It’s the responsibility of the parents and the teacher to manage the situation so the child’s behavior does not interfere with the other children’s learning. There are two “different” kids in my daughter’s Girl Scout troop. Girl #1 has some sort of behavioral disorder that makes her act cruel and manipulative and engage in attention-seeking behavior. My daughter is frequently paired with this kid in scouts and at school because she is one of the few kids who will just sort of take the abuse and not fight back verbally. As a result, she has started to refuse to attend scout events and even contemplated quitting the troop. Girl #2 is on the autism spectrum and has ADHD. Her verbal skills are limited. Her mother attends all scout events, facilitates her participation in all activities, and manages her behavior. Although this child’s disability is severe, her mother maximizes her participation and minimizes any adverse impact on the other kids. As a result, the girls all adore this child and have learned a lot about how to deal with differences.
Anonymous says
P.S. Girl #2 also gets a lot more out of Girl Scouts because her mother is guiding her to maximal participation. Girl #1 is frequently sitting on the sidelines crying instead of participating.
Famouscait says
In pre-school, I was intentionally paired with another girl (who would now perhaps be diagnosed as ADHD) so that “my good behavior would be an example for her.” In elementary school, I was the designated partner for a special-needs girl who would come join our classroom a few times a week. In both cases, I was explicitly told that I was being chosen as the partner because I was so nice/well behaved/etc. Learning how to kindly and politely interact with others is a valuable skill, but this was a lot of pressure to put on me as a kiddo. Kudos to you for being aware of how your daughter’s behavior is being impacted by this arrangement. There’s good and helpful lessons to be learned, but there’s also a role for teachers and parents to play.
anonforthis says
I don’t want to speak for everyone, but as a sibling to a child with a disability, I prefer people just use that term (or if possible the actual diagnosis of the child) rather than “different” or “special” – especially with the quotations, like maybe it’s being faked or something.
Perhaps people with less profound or no physical disabilities (i.e., on the Autism spectrum) have other preferences, but my sibling had a genetic anomaly that was very clearly an illness, as rare and deadly as something like Cystic Fibrosis, and trying to label a child like that as “different” seems to belittle both the medical implications of many disabilities, as well as the impact on the child’s life.
Anonymous says
As a parent of a child with a genetic anomaly that manifests as a disability – +10000 to this! Thank you.
Closet Redux says
Yeah, I cringed at “behaving really weirdly.”
Mother of patient zero says
I am sorry.
I don’t really know how to expand on that but please believe here I am sorry.
Anon says
+1
Mother of patient zero says
Extra comments:
1 No idea what is up with the kid. And I hate guessing. Parents don’t seem to make any efforts to control behaviour, often both are present.
2 It’s an ages 2-3 class and the disruptive kid is close to 3. Mine is almost exactly 2.
3 I’ve definately had classes with kids at a different pace before, and parents who removed their yelling kids before. These parents don’t seem to do anything about their kid yelling for half the class. It’s a happy yelling but it’s still distracting and annoying.
4 Paid class with a waitlist that we schedule in during the workday. So it’s something I looked forward to before this kid (go ahead and judge me, I feel pretty much like a jerk here).
TK says
Well, its your money – if you feel like it’s being wasted because of the other kid’s disruptive behavior, go ahead and move your kid to another class.
But if you’re feeling generous, the other parents might appreciate someone initiating (non-judgmental) conversation. A simple, “Fergus certainly seems to be enjoying himself – is this his first belly-dancing class?” could suffice. I did something similar in Little TK’s swim class – turns out, the wildly disruptive older girl was a new-to-them foster kid who was still trying to figure out how to behave outside of the highly dysfunctional environment she came out of. Not gonna lie – it was a pain to have her monopolize more of the swim teacher’s time, and that didn’t impove. But her foster parents could have cried with gratitude to have someone at least make the attempt at engaging with them.
Pogo says
What did you tell work for the day of your IVF retrieval?
I was considering telling them ahead of time (ie 36 hours-ish, whenever I get the call saying it’s go-time) that I have a ‘procedure’ or something, but now I’m debating just saying I’m sick that one day.
Not sure it matters either way, but I was just curious what others did. I told work I had “procedures” for all the workup stuff (HSG and the follow up to that which I can’t remember the name of), but then again those were scheduled many days out so it made more sense to block off my calendar. Not knowing what day it will be makes that hard and I wonder if just saying I’m sick will be easier.
PinkKeyboard says
I lucked out and mine was a weekend both times, but I would just go with a sick day.
TwinMomAnon says
I called out sick/working from home, but told a very trusted co-worker who could cover for me the truth. I was worried about calling out sick and then doing so again 3-5 days later for implantation, but no one else seemed to notice. It made me feel better knowing that someone could run interference for me if necessary.
Pogo says
I’m doing FET because of my risk for OHSS (womp womp), so I won’t need to call in sick for another month. That makes it easier.
I’m also trying to tell myself no one will notice my sick days. I started to worry when I announce in five months or whatever that I’m pregnant (hopefully!) someone would back calculate and be like, waitttt weren’t you “sick” about five months ago…? But then I realized I would never do that for another human being and presume the same is true of my coworkers. Just being paranoid!
pockets says
they’d not only have to remember and back-calculate, they’d also have to make the jump that you got pregnant through IVF. It’s a lot of steps for someone to take, and unless that person is stalker-level into you, no one is going to deduce this.
Pogo says
Absolutely. I’m just paranoid – I think since *I* know how time-consuming and brain-consuming this whole process has been I think everyone else can sense it, but of course they can’t.
JP says
I’d go with a sick day for the retrieval. You’ll be feeling lousy enough in the days leading up to it (at least I was) that it is totally believable. For the transfer, can you just say that you have a follow-up drs appt 5 days later in the morning (or whenever the transfer is) and then will be working from home in the afternoon? I know that the “official” advice is that you can go to work on transfer day and that the embryo isn’t going anywhere (someone described it to me as a pea in a peanut butter sandwich–it can’t fall out or bounce around), but that afternoon I felt better being at home, with my feet up, and completely distracted by work stuff so I wouldn’t obsess about it.
And good luck! From someone 19 wks pregnant with an IVF baby.
Pogo says
thanks :) Yes, I do feel incredibly lousy. I just found out I’m doing FET so I have another month before transfer, which makes the two sick days less noticeable.
By says
I told them ‘procedure’. Boss said “no details!!”. It was all fine. Same for transfer.
Famouscait says
I need advice on tactics to manage a 7-hour drive alone with a teething 20m old. Until very recently, he’s been super easy in the car (we do this drive a lot). He doesn’t need toys or distraction, just rides along until he naps, etc. The last time we made the drive he was super worn-out, but then only slept for 1 hour. The rest of the time was a lot of fussing and crying. Since I’ll be by myself on the drive in a few weekends, I was thinking an ipad movie… any other ideas or tips?
Anonymous says
Baby Advil?
Closet Redux says
We do drives like this at night, if possible. I plan a super busy day with lots of activity, then eat dinner, put on pjs, sing our goodnight song and get in the car with her lovie and blanket. Even when it’s only 5pm and she doesn’t normally go to bed until 7:30, the car usually puts her out pretty quickly. The downside is that you arrive at your destination pretty late, and your kiddo might wake up early the next day. But for me, since my kiddo really does not like the car, it is a far superior option than having her fuss for 6 hours and nap for 1.
I recommend good shades for the car windows if driving in the daylight, especially if driving at sundown!
MDMom says
What car shades do you recommend? I am not really satisfied with ours and have several long drive coming up.
Closet Redux says
We just ordered these, but haven’t tried them out yet:
https://www.amazon.com/auto-window-socks-sunshade-shades/dp/B004C60S0A
We currently have these ones that work fine, but wanted something with more coverage:
https://www.amazon.com/BRICA-Piece-White-Safety-Shades/dp/B00WH7Y7TY/ref=sr_1_4_s_it?s=baby-products&ie=UTF8&qid=1469463418&sr=1-4&keywords=window+shade
Closet Redux says
My comment may show up twice for containing links, but we just bought one of those sleeves that goes over the entire window because we wanted more coverage than the little shades provide. Haven’t used it yet, though.
Closet Redux says
https://www.amazon.com/Universal-Provides-Protection-Children-Material/dp/B01BY6MOG6/ref=zg_bs_8457341011_6
Warning says
Test your shades before you use them to see how much they distract you / impact your visibility. I bought them for a long trip with just my dog to protect her from the hot sun and I almost got into an accident when I couldn’t see a car in my blind spot. You can still see through them but you do have less visibility than without them.
Anon MN says
My typically awesome in the car sleeper actually did terribly driving at night/bedtime. The street lights were way too much stimulation for his little brain. For the trip back (9hr road trip) we did all day driving and he was 100% better. Sleeping when ready for nap, etc.
We got some Melissa and Doug water painters at target. You fill the pen with water and it changes the pages color. It was a huge hit.
Funeral says
My 3.5 yr old is very obsessed with those right now. And whenever we pull them out in public, everyone else (kids and grown-ups alike) is as well. They’re really neat.
Anons says
Just do what you have to do. Screen time. Frequent stops. One long stop at a playground in the middle. Books on tape. Songs. Soundtracks to musicals. You creat visualizations for him and he shits his eyes and imagines the scenes. Do whatever your kid will like. You know your kid. Mine never sleeps in the car. NEVER. So planning to night drive would be a terrible idea for us.
Closet Redux says
Any advice on how to handle a boss’ bad reaction to your pregnancy announcement?
I work a job that has a busy season and am expecting a baby right at the beginning of busy season and would take a leave until the season is over (think tax attorney leaving at the end of December and returning in May). So, understandably bad timing for my boss– she will most certainly have to hire someone to work long, long hours during our busy season. In addition, my boss is mean, and very insensitive to the fact that her staff has a personal life. For example, one of my colleagues toddler was admitted to the hospital and my boss “let her work from home,” i.e. still expected all assignments and responsiveness to phone calls/ emails, etc. I know she is not going to take it well.
I am expecting the following:
Redux: Happy news, I’m pregnant.
Mean Boss: [groans, rolls eyes] When are you due.
Redux: January.
Mean boss: [GROAN]
Any tips for handling what is sure to be a bad reaction? I know the general advice is to have a plan about how much time you will take off and how you will handle your clients/cases, but because of the season that’s a little hard in this situation since I know spreading the work around is not going to be enough. Advice/ spin / anecdotes?
Anonymous says
Can you tell HR instead of your boss? Can you have an HR rep call a meeting with you and your boss so you can tell them both at the same time?
Spirograph says
I think you have to be upfront that you realize this is less-than-ideal timing for the office. Good news and bad timing are not mutually exclusive. If hiring a temp contractor to take over your work load is the normal way of handling the situation, definitely say something along the lines that you’ll help with that hiring and assist in making the transition as smooth as possible. Otherwise just brace yourself and don’t take her reaction personally. And if she is human enough to congratulate you and at least feign happiness, it will be a pleasant surprise!
If your boss is seriously awful the HR thing might be a possibility, but I feel like that might come across as confrontational to someone with your boss’s personality. I’d definitely also tell HR as soon as possible, just to hedge against boss taking any “retaliatory” action for your pregnancy.
Anonymous says
+1
Draft email to HR, go tell boss verbally and then send email to HR as soon as you get back to your office. Email should reference that boss was told. That way you create a clear record of telling boss and HR.
RDC says
Agree that it’s good to acknowledge the bad timing and offer to help with finding a temp — but, my understanding is that they can’t make your leave conditional on finding a replacement (especially if invoking FMLA), since that would be discrimination based on a medical condition. IANAL though; could any of the legal folks confirm?
Meg Murry says
Since one of your colleagues has a toddler, did that person (or anyone else) announce a pregnancy to this boss in the past, and could you take that person to lunch or coffee and ask how they did it, what the boss’s reaction was and if there is any way they would do it differently if they had to do it over?
Of if it wasn’t a pregnancy, but some other kind of news your boss wouldn’t be happy to hear, what would you do to mitigate the grumpiness? Tell her first thing in the morning after she’s had her coffee? Schedule a meeting with her to get it done or pop in to her office? Wait until you had a piece of good news to pair with it?
Alternately, I noticed you said late December to May, which is 5+ months. Is that the standard at your company (or are you a lucky Canadian with more leave than in the US), or were you planning to use banked vacation to extend a standard 12 week FMLA? Would you consider staggering your leave if it would help the company (and you) by taking a full 12 week leave, and then instead of taking 6-8 more weeks off, come back at half time (or 20 hours or similar) for twice as long? Or 3 months leave for you, then your H takes a month or two, then you take the last couple of months? Obviously you don’t have to be so accommodating if it isn’t going to work for you, but those are things you could consider to smooth the road (and might be easier for you as well, to come back part time for a while, etc).
Anonymous says
This is a good approach in theory but I would try to be off for the whole busy period if at all possible. Based on the parent of the hospitalized child example in your OP, I would be very cautious about coming back to work with a newborn during the busy period unless you absolutely have no alternatives.
CPA Lady says
Yup. As someone who idiotically placed the needs of my employer over my own needs and “planned” my pregnancy so I could work busy season, that was an idiot move on my part. So instead of coming back during a slow time and being able to ramp up, I went back into working 60-70 hours weeks of spring tax season with a 3 month old. I was a moron. She got sick fairly frequently during busy season with all the new daycare germs and I was a complete wreck trying to meet my billable requirements.
PEN says
Don’t say “I’m sorry…” or otherwise apologize for the leave. You can acknowledge the challenge without apologizing for it. I like to present some sort of plan, show that I am buying in to the success of the team while I am out. “I am having a baby around XXX, I plan to be on leave from XX to XX. I realize this presents some unique challenges for you and my colleagues and think those can be overcome by blah, blah, blah.”
Congrats!!!
Closet Redux says
These are all great suggestions, thanks everyone. I will tell HR today (I need to clarify what kind of leave I qualify for– it’s a complex system of banked time including prorated leave), reach out to my colleague with the toddler (though when she had her baby she had a different supervisor), and tell my boss tomorrow. I will gird my loins (ha!) for a bad reaction and try not to take it personally.
As much as I would like to make this as easy on her as possibly by coming back part-time, I agree with Anon at 12:10 that it wouldn’t work in this situation because of my boss’ inability to appreciate boundaries. I don’t intend to take 5 months (that was just an example of a “busy season,”), but my (hopefully) 12 week leave encompasses most of our busy season, so it will be just as disruptive. But, hey, I’m having a baby here, so my priority is to myself, right?
Sick-Ish Kiddo says
Yesterday, my kid had the classic ‘little bit of a fever, not so much that I’m really concerned but it’s over 100 so we’re supposed to keep you out of daycare for 24 hours’. Of course, partner is out of town on business and I have an interview for a promotion.
I’ve managed to get Grandpa to watch the kid this afternoon and have spent my morning conspicuously productive online (kid has been either napping or happily playing with toys, in a shocking turn of events. My office has a specific line in our work from home policy that says it can’t be used to provide childcare, but I just told work I would be in late and didn’t elaborate. I’m really, really hoping that I can count at least a little bit of my WFH morning as ‘work time’.
I am deliberately not telling my job that I’m home with a sick kid because I don’t want that in their minds when they consider the promotion. Being a working mom is freaking hard, even with high quality childcare, a stable professional career, paid sick time, a good support network, and sufficient finances. Today I am so thankful to have all these things, but am still just having a moment where I need to vent and just say This is hard.
RDC says
Sounds to me like you’re rocking it – good luck with the interview!
Meg Murry says
It’s so hard. I feel for you, and hope you rock that promotion interview!
Although you may want to line Grandpa or some other Plan B caregiver up for tomorrow too, just in case. Because my son’s case of Hand, Foot and Mouth started out with a kid with a slight fever who was actually willing to nap or snuggle and read books (when he is usually a ball of energy and fights naps like crazy), and it turned into a 103 fever and then a week of blisters where we had to pull out every single backup caregiver to cover it. Not to worry you – chances are if you go through the work of arranging a Plan B caregiver, you won’t actually need it, if your life is anything like mine.
Betty says
Being a working mom is really really hard, even with all the positives you mention! It sounds like you are doing great, and today will be one of those days that you look back on as earning one of your stripes. And, I would have done the exact same thing with going in late and not elaborating. Oh and best of luck with the interview!
Toddler bedtime still argh says
Posted last week about toddler bedtime getting later and later and later and…
The days I get it down to 7.45, he wakes up at 5. /sigh It’s like a sausage: squeeze one end and there is a lump at the other.
I am, shall we say, a little worn out.
Pregnant forever says
I’m 8 days overdue. This isn’t my first (and my first 2 were late too…7 and 6 days respectively). But ughhhhh. I can’t be pregnant forever, right?
My other kids are so anxious. DH and I both thought this one would be *less* late, not more! I have an induction scheduled for Friday but I really don’t want to induce, have never needed to before. My feet hurt; it’s like walking on rocks. I have a toddler home with me (daycare vacation week and I already started my mat leave) so I can’t even check out and go to a spa all day. And it’s like 98* and humid.
Pity party of 1.
mascot says
Pretty sure this is a time to discover all the kids shows that the toddler can binge watch on Netflix and make a big snack plate lunch that involves goldfish and fruit.
Pregnant forever says
Ha, I posted this with my kid watching a movie and eating a PJ and J while my feet are up. So….on it? ;)
mascot says
Excellent. I also find that ice cream for dinner is delightful idea.
RDC says
Protein and calcium! Totally ok in my book.
Anonymous says
Try Eggplant Parmesan to get labor started:
www[dot]scalinis[dot]com/main-babies.html
Is there an Ikea near you? They have the ball play area for kids. You could just walk a few loops around the store in the air conditioning. Or a gym with a walking track and drop in daycare? or a walking track that’s air conditioned and allows strollers for toddler? Our local university has the later option.
I had really bad swelling at the end. Compression socks plus lots of walking was the only thing that help. I lived in maxidress + compression socks + sneakers at the end – it was not pretty.
Pregnant forever says
My feet aren’t super swollen (anymore- they were!) but just…tired of carrying around an extra 50lbs. And a little swollen. I’m rocking yoga pants or gym shorts + maternity tank, it’s very glamorous. IKEA might be for tomorrow…there’s one around but it’s a decent drive (45 min).
If the eggplant parm doesn’t work I’m going to be *miserable* because tomatoes have been giving me wretched heart burn all pregnancy. Might be a gamble I’m willing to take this late in the game….if I’m not too wiped out to stand and cook. The little one likes to spread sauce so maybe she can chef on my behalf.
Pogo says
This sounds awful. Do you have any friends with pools? Who can help chase the toddler and let you both cool off?
Otherwise, crank the AC and break out the Netflix as mascot suggested.
Pregnant forever says
They all work. We have a town pool but I need to supervise there more than I care to. Could hire a sitter if it were truely miserable but I can tough it out. I’m trying to convince the 3 y/o to “play doctor” and just give me a checkup while I nap. She of course doesn’t nap anymore, but luckily plays well independently.
Spirograph says
Hugs (the virtual kind where you don’t have another hot sweaty person touching you). I still have a few weeks to go, but +10000, this weather is brutal. I’d hate it if I weren’t super pregnant, but I definitely hate it more because of that. I hope your baby comes soon! If you have a yard with some shade, I had great success over the weekend setting up the sprinkler, a couple plastic storage bins of water, and some measuring cups and bath toys and letting my kids go to town while I sat in the AC and watched out the window.
Meg Murry says
Or if you don’t want to go outside at all, dumping ALL the water toys in the bathtub (and possibly even letting the kid put on their swimsuit if that makes them happy) to do “indoor water play” can also buy you some time to sit and flip through a magazine, etc. My 4 year old also thinks being given a soapy sponge to scrub the bathtub and bathroom sink it the epitome of fun, and likes feeling like he is “helping” to clean.
Could you go to the town pool either solo or with your H once he’s back from work? I’d especially recommend going solo if there is an indoor pool that only allows adults – I found water walking/just floating in the pool to be a nice break for my aching feet and back and to allow me to feel less whale-like – plus even though it was a low impact workout, I always got a really good solid nap after an hour of slow walking in the pool.
Frozen Peach says
That eggplant parm did it for me. I also found these quotes somewhat comforting. Can you get your kids to play spa and give you a massage/all soak your feet together?
Hugs and solidarity.
http://wisewomanwayofbirth.com/42-weeks-and-counting-loving-overdue-babies/
Anonymous says
My three were all 7+ days late, also. I feel for you! I was induced with the third. I also wasn’t happy about it since I’d heard it was miserable, etc… and honestly, it was fantastic. By far the easiest and most stress-free labor.
Good luck!
By says
+1. I felt like the internet is full of induction horror stories but mine was awesome as these things go. Went in at 6, had baby by 5, just like a day at the office. Nobody exhausted from being up all night (plenty of that later!!)
Anon MN says
+1 to awesome induction with my second. I almost hope we have a reason to induce when we decide to have a third . . .
Anonymous says
Indoor swimming pool for tired / swollen feet and heat. Get the toddler in a life vest and just hang out as long as there is family rec time.
device to read while nursing? says
I’m due with my first in a few weeks. Up until now I’ve always read books on paper, but a friend recommended buying a kindle to read while nursing since you can read one-handed. I don’t want to spend a ton of money on this, but if it’s worthwhile I’m happy to buy it. Should I get a basic kindle? Kindle fire? Something else?
Spirograph says
Kindle paperwhite! I resisted ereaders for a long time, but that thing is awesome for reading one-handed. It’s easy to read in the dark, too.
Anonymous says
If you’re going to get a kindle, get one you can read in the dark. PAPERWHITE ALL THE WAY.
Em says
I bought a Kindle for this exact reason. I prefer paper books but wanted the one-handed option and was also really over clutter with all the new baby stuff. I did a ton of research on the different options and went with the Kindle Paperwhite with Built-in Light. I did a lot of reading while nursing in the middle of the night so I really wanted one with a back light, and ended up being really happy with it.
Pregnant forever says
I have used the kindle app (free) on my phone. And borrowed e-books from the library and/or free via Amazon primes library.
EB0220 says
I also use the Kindle app on my phone. Easy to hold and swipe one-handed. I read everywhere…at the gym, in the elevator, in a dark room with a small child. It’s great. Doesn’t bother my eyes but YMMV of course.
Anon MN says
If you’re really looking to go cheap, Kindle App on Iphone. It’s smaller than the Kindles, but gets the job done.
If you do end up wanting a Kindle, I wouldn’t go Fire. I have found all of the other Apps, etc, completely useless. I just use it for reading while on vacation, no frills needed.
HSAL says
I have and love my Kindle Paperwhite but for maternity leave I read much much more on my phone, because it was always with me and the Kindle wasn’t. And I say that as someone who hates reading on screens. It’s 100% a worthwhile purchase though.
MDMom says
Second kindle paperwhite. It is perfect for this.
Anonymous says
Another vote for kindle paperwhite. It’s literally the best for this.
device to read while nursing? says
Thanks all!
device to read while nursing? says
Follow up question – for the paperwhite, get the free 3G or not?
Em says
I didn’t. I mostly use it at home or download something in advance if I want to take it somewhere.
Em says
Any tips for doing some formula feedings at night? Baby is 6 weeks into the 4 month sleep regression (he is currently 5 months old) and I am OVER IT. He goes down around 8:30 pm and gets up for the day at 6:30 am and usually wakes up 4-5 times in between (so every 2-3 hours). I can usually eek out an extra 3-4 oz bottle for my husband to give him for one of those feedings, but now he has started refusing to go to sleep until I nurse him too (thus defeating the point of my husband giving him a bottle). I am thinking of doing 2 bottles of formula and still nursing 1-2 times at night until he (hopefully!) starts dropping some of these wakings.
mascot says
We had a lot of success with a dreamfeed around 10-11pm. My husband was in charge of this. The trick is to start the feed before the baby normally wakes up. Feed the baby half the bottle, change the diaper by the light of the nightlight, feed baby the other half of the bottle, put baby back into bed and hope for another 4hrs of sleep.
octagon says
We do a similar dreamfeed but no diaper change. Just bottle and back to bed.
Anonymous says
It sounds like there may also be a comfort nursing aspect. You can try babywearing in the evening after you get home until baby goes to bed so hopefully he’ll get enough physical contact in the evenings and won’t look to comfort nurse at night.
What do you mean by “started to refuse to go to sleep”? When my husband and I were taking turns, he only woke me if he had tried to settle the baby for 2 hours without success or if baby woke up during his time to get up and stayed awake into my turn. So if we swapped duty at 2:30 and baby awoke at 1:30 he would wake me at 2:30 vs waiting until 3:30.
If you’re splitting the night duties, then try to arrange it so each person gets a block of 5 -6 hours off. So you sleep 9:30 – 2:30 and husband does any wake ups in that timeframe, You take 2:30 – 7:30 shift and husband gets guaranteed sleep then. I’m recommending you sleep first and get up later because that will ensure you have milk to nurse. Supply is lowest in the evenings. For the times when you are ‘off’ – earplugs are your friends. Even if baby is just fussing/unsettled with husband it may be hard to sleep through.
AIMS says
This isn’t quite what you asked, but I dealt with this period by just letting baby sleep with us and nursing her in bed, half asleep. She didn’t wake up much, I didn’t wake up much, and it all passed relatively quickly and easily, comparatively speaking. I sometimes worry that I’m doing feminism a disservice by not making Mr. AIMS wake up with baby AIMS more often but since all she wants to do when she wakes up is nurse for a few minutes and I can feed her much more easily in a half asleep state than making her a bottle ahead of time, it just seems best for all concerned. He makes it up to me by waking up with her on weekend mornings and letting me sleep in. Just another idea if what is bothering you is the getting up to feed her, not the feeding itself.
Anon MN says
+1 to this is how we survived the sleep regression. And having the same femenist guilt. But we start swapping night duties when LO is down to one feed and getting one bottle is not a problem. Then we did every other night and each got a full nights rest, which is awesome.
Em says
I sleep so deeply that I’ve never been able to get comfortable co-sleeping. I am totally on board with it in theory, though.
pockets says
I am completely pro-formula but can I ask why you think feeding formula will solve this problem? Won’t your baby just want to nurse after he eats the formula, like how he wants to nurse after eating a BM bottle?
Em says
His typical bottles have 5 ounces, and for awhile the 3 ounces was enough to get him back to sleep. I was thinking maybe he actually was hungry and that was why he wouldn’t settle. I definitely don’t produce an extra 5-10 ounces a day, though.
pockets says
Maybe try a formula dreamfeed? If you want practical tips, keep a bottle with water and pre-proportioned formula (there are special containers made for this) in the baby’s room so that all you have to do is dump the formula into the bottle, shake, and feed.
Anon for this... says
…because I’ve told everyone I know in real life who will stand still long enough to listen. But my kid is almost 2, learning to talk but not really stringing a bunch of words together yet, and this weekend said “I love you” to me for the first time ever. MY HEART.
JayJay says
It’s the best, isn’t it? All the incredibly tough parenting moments are forgotten when kids do that.
Pregnant forever says
Aw! We had to coach ours for that. Their first phrases were things like “ice cream truck here!” And “where is breakfast?” Haha
TK says
My kid’s first phrase was “Go away Mommy.”
Anon for this... says
Oh, it wasn’t a the first phrase. The first phrase was “Bye [Cat’s name]” as the cat left the room. And then there was “Blue Truck! Beep Beep Beep” when she saw a blue truck in the daycare parking lot. But “I love you” is a good third place.
anon says
It is the best! My 4 year old is finally doing it a way that feels really authentic. Often when we are walking to the subway station he stops me to show me a place where someone carved a heart in the concrete sidewalk and says he wanted to show it to me because he loves me. I even overlook the fact that we are missing a walk light–he no longer sanctions jaywalking, which just kills me–to stop and gaze upon the heart with him.