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Pregnancy can sometimes bring with it some unwelcome leg issues — varicose veins, weight gain, not being able to see your legs to shave properly, etc. I say, wear dresses if you want — but if you’re personally uncomfortable with that, then these linen pants look great. They come in five colors, and are $35 at Old Navy, sizes XS-XXL. Old Navy Maternity Foldover-Waist Linen-Blend Pants
Building a maternity wardrobe for work? Check out our page with more suggestions along both classic and trendy/seasonal lines.
(L-2)
Sales of note for 9.10.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 30% off your purchase
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything + extra 20% off
- Boden – 15% off new styles
- Eloquii – $29 and up select styles; up to 50% off everything else
- J.Crew – Up to 50% off wear-to-work styles; extra 30% off sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – 40-60% off everything; extra 60% off clearance
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Extra 40% off sale styles
- Talbots – BOGO 50% everything, includes markdowns
- Zappos – 26,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Birthday sale, 40-50% off & extra 20% off select styles
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off all baby; up to 40% off all Halloween
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Extra 30% off sale styles
- Old Navy – 40% off everything
- Target – BOGO 25% off select haircare, up to 25% off floor care items; up to 30% off indoor furniture up to 20% off TVs
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- The concept of “backup care” is so stupid…
- I need tips on managing employees in BigLaw who have to leave for daycare pickup…
- I’m thinking of leaning out to spend more time with my family – how can I find the perfect job for that?
- I’m now a SAHM and my husband needs to step up…
- How can I change my thinking to better recognize some of my husband’s contributions as important, like organizing the shed?
- What are your tips to having a good weekend with kids, especially with little kids? Do you have a set routine or plan?
Anon says
I’m in the market for maternity clothes right now, and I feel like I’ve seen everything available. There just aren’t that many choices. I’m fine on bottoms, but I’m having trouble finding tops (casual and work appropriate) that are attractive, reasonable quality, affordable (I don’t really want to pay more than $50 per shirt I’ll wear for such a short time – this is my last pregnancy), and non-iron (I have come to accept I will never iron). Any suggestions? I feel like I’ve seen all there is to see at Loft, Gap, Old Navy, Target, Motherhood, Pea in the Pod, Nordstrom, and Macy’s. I’ve looked briefly at Seraphine (ouch prices) and H&M (questionable quality), but perhaps I need to revisit those and look closer. Am I missing a great place to shop for maternity clothes?
Famouscait says
I only bought maternity bottoms, and just sized up for tops. I had a few from Loft that worked very well.
Meg Murry says
Depending on how tall you are or how you carry, sizing up into “talls” could also be an option to make sure you have the length to cover your belly – I have a long torso, and I find that buying shirts in tall when available helps me avoid flashing my postpartum muffin top/love handles.
NewMomAnon says
Have you tried Asos and Japanese Weekend? I found interesting stuff and lots of variety at both of those. Japanese Weekend also has a lot of during and after tops, so you might be willing to spend a little more to get a bit more wear.
Merabella says
Definitely check out Asos. Sometimes there things are hit or miss, but they have some good options. I really liked everything that I got from H&M, so also check it out – and I love that you can buy online – because the stores give me anxiety.
You might also check out swing tops, or plus sized tops, depending on your size – I had a few sweaters this winter that were great – but they were non-maternity – so you may be able to find some shirts that work for you even if they aren’t maternity tops.
KJ says
I wore sized up ravello tops from Boden for much of my pregnancy. It was my go-to for when I needed to look nice at work. I also really liked Japanese Weekend, which I bought from Nordstrom. The quality wasn’t as great as I would like for the price, but I thought everything was cute and comfortable.
JEB says
I agree with the ASOS recommendation. A bit hit or miss, but I got some good staples. And if I remember correctly, shipping is free both ways.
Like others, I wore some regular tops sized up and belted. This worked until the last few weeks. I also got a bunch of basic maternity tanks and wore them with cardigans.
Mommy Monster says
I ended up buying a couple peasant tops, one from Loft and one from Target to slightly modernize my maternity wardrobe. Neither is a maternity item, but they are loose and I can wear them post-partum. Otherwise I’m using accessories, cardigans, and blazers to fancy up my few tops from the first go-round. It might be boring, but I don’t want to buy a bunch of new stuff for my last pregnancy. I haven’t yet ironed either of the two woven maternity tops I own either.
Anon OP says
Thanks everyone for the suggestions. I really appreciate it. I’ll check out ASOS and Japanese Weekend and give H&M another look. I find my main problem with wearing regular shirts while pregnant is length, so I’ll check out some non-maternity tall options. I find I expand a bit everywhere (I like to size up one size from my pre-pregnancy size for maternity pants), but mostly I end up giant belly all out front, so even some maternity shirts feel too short by the end.
Meg Murry says
You could also try consignment shops or eBay. For my second son, I hated all the maternity styles (the whole fitted shirt with side ruching to accentuate the belly is not a good look for me) that year, but I lucked out in that someone with similar taste to me in my size had dropped off a lot of stuff at my local consignment shop, and I bought a majority of it, then went on eBay with the style numbers to hunt down more colors of the same.
OliveMac says
For people that like ASOS, what’s the sizing like? HOw does it compare to, say, Banana, JCrew, Ann, etc?
NewMomAnon says
For maternity wear, I think I found it a little small – but I was also a ginormous whale (prepregnancy wore XS, third trimester wore L or XL) so sizing was a total crapshoot. I think it’s British, so think of Euro sizing; you will generally wear 1-2 sizes larger than you would in US sizing.
I also vaguely recall that ASOS is more of an aggregator from different designers, so their sizing varied more than Banana, J Crew, Ann Taylor would. I know that is frustrating; I ordered a bunch of stuff, sometimes in a couple sizes, and returned the stuff that didn’t work.
M in LA says
I found it surprisingly TTS. They have a comprehensive size guide for maternity and I broke out the tape measure to make sure. I ended up buying “6” in most things – and I wear 8P to 10P in JCrew depending on style – so that’s about right for the conversion from regular to petite. I did buy a couple sizes and then return what didn’t work the first time – I would recommend that. I agree it does depend on what you are buying.
Lorelai Gilmore says
I really liked JC Penney for maternity clothes.
Famouscait says
I had the shorts-version of these linen pants last summer and I lived in them. Very comfy, and the fold over band worked in early and later pregnancy.
NewMomAnon says
I had these exact pants and found that they were huge – I couldn’t even wear them until my third trimester, and even then they fell down. I might have ordered them too big though. If they had been the right size, I think I would still be wearing them a year postpartum because they were super comfy.
Msj says
I had the non maternity version of these and just went up a size. They fit low and had a soft elastic waist so were comfortable even to the bitter end of my twin pregnancy
Anon says
Question for the group: at what age did yall first leave your newborns and travel out of town? We have a wedding when LO is just under five months and while I wouldnt mind flying with her, so far havent found good babysitting options for the event (it is very rural).
My husband and I were also discussing a week long trip when she is 8 or 9 months and whether to take her. In each case she’d be staying with grandparents. Are we crazy unfeeling parents?
Meg Murry says
For my first I don’t know exactly when the first time I left him was – probably somewhere around 6 months for an overnight work trip where he stayed home with my husband, and sometime around the same age he probably stayed with my parents for a night when H and I went to a wedding and didn’t get home until late in the night. He was already getting 50/50 b-milk and formula, so it wasn’t a big deal to just leave formula, other than the PITA of dragging the pump with me on the trip and keeping the milk cold.
For my second, my first work trip was around 8 months and it was for 4-5 days. He had been taking 100% b-milk up to that point, so it was a process to stock up enough b-milk, plus test him on a bottle or two of formula a day a couple of weeks before I left to make sure he wasn’t intolerant or otherwise rejecting it. And then it was also a total PITA for me to pump and drag along the milk to bring home. But overall the trip went ok – I missed the baby, but I also got my first good night’s sleep in months, and a long stretch to read or nap on the plane, which was bliss.
I don’t think you are crazy unfeeling parents, but I do think it makes a difference how well baby is sleeping – leaving a baby who wakes multiple times a night with grandparents is asking a lot of them (especially if grandparents have jobs), but a baby who is otherwise sleeping through the night might be ok for a long weekend up to a week if grandparents are up to it. Would grandparents be coming to your house or baby to them?
FVNC says
Of course you’re not crazy unfeeling parents! While I was nursing my kiddo, the grandparents watched her for one or two night stretches occasionally, starting at 3 months. The short time was more for my own physical comfort rather than feeling like she needed to be with me all the time. My husband and I are finally getting ready to take our first trip without kiddo — she’ll be 19 months old. The timing of this trip is a due to our work schedules and grandparent availability, not with me being uncomfortable leaving her.
One note: if you are nursing at the 8-9 month point, you may notice a significant drop in supply if you’re away for a week, even if pumping. My sister and her husband took a wonderful trip alone when their baby was 9 months, but her supply dropped and baby self-weaned soon after. Just something to consider if nursing is important to you.
mascot says
We had our first overnight without our child at 6 weeks. We usually got one overnight a month from then on. By 7 months, the grandparents were taking him for a week at a time. We have very involved, capable grandparents so I realize that our situation was made easier in this regard. We never saw it as anything other than promoting a great relationship between our son and his grandparents.
EB0220 says
First night away from my first was at around 15 months. She was at home with my husband and I was a 3 hr drive away. Second night away from her was around 19 months on a business trip (she was with my in-laws). Haven’t been away from my second baby yet (almost 9 months). I nurse her at night. Others have put her to sleep just fine, but I’m not sure about the nighttime wakings.
Maddie Ross says
I left baby the first time around 4.5 months for a 3-day/2-night work trip, and again at 6. Have continued to do the same about every month or two since then. I never had a drop in supply as a result, and tried to time weaning with one of those trips (but I’ve written here before about how that worked for me… le sigh). I think a week at 9 months would be hard, but a couple of nights can be a welcome break. I think a week would be hard for two reasons: (1) babies change fast and I think a week at 9 months would be an incredible amount of change, and (2) I cannot imagine my mother or MIL being able to handle my baby for a week (she’s not difficult, just exhausting and the grandparents aren’t as young as they used to be).
Jen says
I can’t remember exactly; I had my first business trip when baby was 4 months, but by then she had been in daycare for a month and DH was home with her at night. I know I left her with my mom when DH and I both had to travel fora few days- she was just under 6 months at that time- but I can’t remember if that was the very first time we both left her.
I think how your baby (and your caregivers!) do with the week long trip at 9 months depends very much on your baby. A week is a LONG time for someone not used to babies. Our daughter was on formula, crawling like crazy, eating solids, sleeping through the night from 7-7, and still taking 2 solid naps per day at that age at that age. Some babies are still fighting solids/on purees, actively/horrifically teething, not sleeping through the night, need to be nursed to sleep, don’t nap anymore, etc. etc. at that age and that would be a completely different ballgame.
CPA lady says
I went on a weekend trip last weekend for the first time– my daughter’s going to be 7 months old this week. I was really anxious about leaving, but once I left I was totally fine. She was totally fine too, of course.
No matter what you decide to do, you are neither crazy nor unfeeling.
Carrie M says
Confession Monday: When I went in to get my kiddo this morning, she had soaked through her diaper – the front of her PJ pants and shirt were pretty wet, but luckily it was just urine. I was already running super late, so I just wiped her down with a few baby wipes, gave her a good sniff, and decided she’d be fine without a bath until tonight. It didn’t even dawn on me to take her sheets off until after I had left the house, so fingers crossed it didn’t soak through to her mattress. Great start to the work week already!
FVNC says
I would have done the same, I’m sure! This morning on the way out the door, my kid spit up all down the front of her shirt (she never spits up!). First, I checked myself. No spit up on me. Then, I wiped down the kid’s shirt with a dish towel (which I then put back on the counter rather than in the hamper) and took her to daycare. Don’t know if her clothes smelled, don’t care. She has extra clothes there!
Jen says
I’d have done the same, unless it was before my shower. In that situation, I’d have thrown her in the shower with me to rinse her off ;)
meme says
Pro tip – We have waterproof mattress covers beneath the regular mattress cover on every bed in our house – including ours. Because you never know when a sick kid will crawl in your bed with you and wet it (ask me how I know), or throw up, or somehow dump out her water/milk cup/whatever else she snuck in to bed, have a freak accident at age 5, etc. I plan to keep this up until my youngest is at least 10. Mattresses are too expensive to replace/too frequently used to tolerate stuff in them that you can never really completely clean out.
Merabella says
This is genius.
Meg Murry says
And even more pro-tip (that I think I learned here) – double or triple sheet the bed. Start with mattress protector, then alternate sheets and mattress protectors for 2 or 3 layers. Kid wets the bed? Peel off top sheet and mattress pad and bed is already made.
I followed this advice during potty training, but I’ve since slacked on it – and I need to get back on it, as I hate re-making the bed in the middle of the night.
Meg Murry says
Annnnnd – I jinxed myself, and my kid wet the bed last night and I was changing sheets at 4 am. Ugh
K. says
Babies on airplane question. I am flying domestically with my 9 month old daughter. I’ll be going alone. I know I can take a stroller and it doesn’t count toward luggage allowance and I can’t decide whether I should. We’ve used a stroller once since we’ve had her–I use an Ergo all the time otherwise. Obviously, I would take the Ergo anyway, but I can’t decide if having a stroller makes it easier to carry her and all the other stuff (diaper bag, carry on, etc) or just one more thing to carry and worry about. I’ll have a stroller when I get to my location, so that’s not an issue. TIA!
Maddie Ross says
I’m a fan of having my stroller, even now with a 2 year old who walks, because it is great to schlepp stuff.
Jen says
If it’s just you (no adult travel companion) and your kid likes the ergo, I’d skip the stroller as long as you have one at your destination. One extra thing to carry.
EB0220 says
On many trips alone with my baby, I took the stroller exactly once: the first time. It’s really hard to bend down and fold the stroller while wearing the baby. I suggest the Ergo, backpack and rollerboard, depending on how much stuff you have.
Back to Work Blues says
Advice, commiseration, reassurance? I’m going back to work next week and leaving my 3 month old with a nanny. The nanny started last week part time while I was still at home so we could get used to each other. She seems lovely. But I am having a much harder time than I thought. I’m a new partner in Biglaw in a big East Coast city and am going to be able to work from home two days a week. I know I am beyond fortunate to be able to afford a good nanny AND to have some flexibility in my work schedule/location. I’m also lucky to love my job, and to have very supportive/flexible people around me at work. I know I don’t want to be a SAHM for many reasons.
However, and I know its partially hormones, every cell in my body feels like it is wrong to be leaving her with a stranger. I keep picturing her little face waking up from a nap, still half asleep, and wanting to cuddle – the fact that someone else will be doing this for her just breaks my heart. I’m depressed that she will get attached to someone else. I am worried that no matter how good the care, the nanny won’t be *as* invested as I would be in making her smile or calming her cries. And I’m just sad period that she will be spending so much time with someone who is not family.
I’m trying to be logical and recognize the emotional nature of this transition while trying to take comfort in the fact that I will get used to it and it will feel better at some point. But does anyone know of any scientific research (real peer-reviewed research, not just some blogger opining on life) that discusses the effects on the child of having a non-family member care for it, especially during infancy? I’m thinking that if I can understand/accept that it is truly harder on me than on the baby, maybe I will feel better.
Thoughts?
mascot says
She will get attached to someone else. That’s a good thing. I want my child to be surrounded by people who love him and not just me/my husband. I truly believe that it takes a village. She will not forget or be confused that you are her mother. Babies are smart like that. Even after your child has been in the care of others for several years, they know that you are their mother. (See unscientific, but adorable commercial http://www.inquisitr.com/2023252/blindfolded-children-pick-their-mothers-from-lineup-using-just-intuition-in-heart-warming-video/)
This is much harder on you than it is on her.
JEB says
I don’t know of any research, but I wanted to say good luck and send my support. I went back to work around 14 weeks, and my daughter is in a home daycare environment. Honestly, the anxiety leading up to it was much worse than the transition itself. Leaving her was tough, but it gets easier each week. I know she’s safe and happy, and I’m getting to the point (5 weeks back at work) where I’m actually enjoying being on my own during the week day.
The nanny won’t replace you as mom…that’s a bond that no one else will ever have. And like Mascot said, it’s good to give your kid the opportunity to create other attachments. When I drop my daughter off at daycare, she lights up. It makes me so happy to see her happy, and it reinforces that I made the right choice. When we pick her up at the end of the day, she lights up for me and my husband too. And it makes weekends that much more special!
Other says
You specifically requested non-anecdotal stories, but I’m two and a half years into this parenting thing, and having a nanny who loves my son is truly a gift. She is another stable presence in his life – he calls her Tita (Tagalog for Aunt/respected elder), and she is still the first person we turn to for care (even over very loving/devoted grandparents). My son is a shy, sensitive guy, and I think it was awesome for him to experience another person who cares for him and loves him. Again, only my own experience, but just like it would seem to benefit a child to know that aunts/uncles/grandparents love him, developing bonds with a caregiver has taught him that there are many people who you can trust to care for you in your life. It’s a huge responsibility to be a child’s parent, and I think part of my duty is letting him know that my love for him will never waiver, but it is so important to have a rich, varied community of trusted friends/family that extends beyond me and his father (a roundabout way of saying that I know his community can still be strong if ever I was not physically present in it – this was a tough lesson for my husband, who lost his parents very young).
After a few weeks, that need to be the first/only comforter may wane a bit, and it may give you a sense of relief to know that there are others who can pinch-hit for your child’s emotional and physical needs. No one ever will or could replace your role as “mother,” but I believe it is a gift to give your child stable, loving people who can help her develop into her best self.
Back to Work Blues says
Thanks guys, this is good to hear. I dont know why I am hung up on the non-familial nature of the nanny and why that is what’s bugging me. Maybe I am nostalgic for my childhood with my awesome, loving, creative SAHM, who knows. I appreciate the responses. A lot.
Other says
Take heart in this study, then perhaps: http://abcnews.go.com/US/story?id=93320
I also have amazing memories of my SAHM – we hiked, picnic’ed, swam in a local pool, library trips, etc. etc. But my mom is always quick to remind me that I remember the best parts, not the times she stuck me and sisters in front of the TV or whatever so she could cook and clean (and she wasn’t even super focused on running a perfectly clean house – it was just the day to day business of keeping up a house with a few kids and no outside help). She reminds me that I outsource those items, which she and my dad couldn’t afford to do, and the nanny’s ONLY job is to engage the kids. Then, when you are with the kid, you are also only focused on them, and engaging in all those awesome activities. By my mom’s observation, my son gets far more loving, focused attention than my sisters or I ever did with a SAHM.
CPA lady says
I don’t know if it’s hormones or what, but I am over here bawling. That is such a beautiful attitude, and such a truth.
CPA lady says
(that was supposed to be in response to Other’s story about her nanny)
Other says
:) Of course, she still drives me crazy from time to time, but hey, so does my husband, my mother, my MIL, and just about anyone else that is family or is like family.
POSITA says
I don’t know it helps, but that’s exactly how I felt going back. Now more than a year later it’s still hard to be away for BigLaw hours, but I’m glad I’m working. She’s really come into her own as a confident little person. She knows I’m mama and is crazy excited to see me at the end of the day. But she loves her nanny too and they have super happy days together reading books, going for walks and playing at the playground. She is thrilled with her little life and that makes me happy.
Jen says
It is awful, but it gets better. My baby started daycare at 11 1/2 months (i had 3 months of mat leave but she was almost 2 weeks late!!). The first day, a wednesday, she was there from 10-1:30 and I cried from when I put her into the bouncy swing to when I picked her up. The next day she was there from 10-2 and I only cried on and off all day. Friday she was there until noon but no tears.
I should add that I am *not* a crier; i never expected to react that way. She’s 18 months old now and still at the same daycare. She LOVES it there, and loves me more. She hugs her “friends” at daycare hello and goodbye, and asks for them by name on weekday mornings. When we head home from daycare, she starts asking for our dog and daddy. She’s got it pretty good!
Jen says
Sorry, 11 WEEKS ( 2 1/2 months)!!
EB0220 says
I will echo others’ comments. I, too, was hung up a little on having a non-family member care for my daughter. My mom was also a SAHM, so I really struggled to imagine a childhood experience different than my own. Still, I loved my job and had just finished my PhD a month before my oldest was born. I knew had to at least try to go back. It was so hard in the beginning. On the first day of daycare, I couldn’t keep it together. It slowly got easier, but it was still tough. It wasn’t until my oldest was about 1 and could really start enjoying the activities and bonding with the caregivers that I started feeling more comfortable. Now, with my second, it has been a breeze. She has two teachers who are just amazing, and I know she’s going to turn out OK (because I have living proof in my older child). My philosophy is: the more people to love my kids, the better.
R says
I felt the same for the first month of daycare for my now 2 year old daughter, so I clung to a study that said kids tend to do better in life if they have at least three supportive adult relationships. Plus one of my friends pointed out that I was teaching my daughter how to build a wide support net that doesn’t rely on nearby family. I feel like that skill will come in handy the rest of her life, and I’m giving her a head start on it.
I can’t find that exact study anymore, but I did find the APA site that says (under the grandparent section) “In fact, supportive relationships with other family members outside the immediate family may lead to better adjustment for all children and teenagers.”
http://www.apa.org/pi/families/resources/parents-caregivers.aspx
Anon says
I think having someone watch a kid who is “less invested” in calming their cries or making them smile than their mother is not necessarily a bad thing. I used to work with kids and the ones with nannies were way better at following instructions and understanding that there were rules (at ages 18 mos – 3 years) than the ones with SAHMs (generalization, but it mostly shook out that way).
Learning that people can like you and care about you, but not be 1 million % invested in your happiness to the point of martyrdom is an amazing lesson that you’re giving your kid.
New DC Mom says
I have mommy thumb (de quervain’s tendonitis) and its horrible! My shoulder and thumb and forefinger lock up – but only at night. Has anyone had this? Should I go to my PCP or my midwives group?
Does it get better? DD is 7 months and this started about 2 weeks ago.
Newly pregnant says
I would talk to your PCP. One of my friends had it and had to wear a soft brace, like something you would wear if you sprained your wrist. I think hers got better after a period of time.
sfg says
I started having this kind of pain within a week of birth – icing, ibuprofen, and paying a lot of attention to how I was picking her up and holding her during breastfeeding all helped cut down the pain quickly. My instinct is to lift her up using that space between my thumb and forefinger, but the pain comes back so quickly that it serves as a reminder not to do it!
Famouscait says
I had this before I had a baby, and eventually ended up getting a steroid shot in wrist. It worked like a charm at first, but now I still have to be careful not to pick the baby up by his armpits. I have a soft brace that I can wear overnight that really helps when it starts to hurt again. Don’t linger – see your PCP right away. Mine got very bad, and I could actually feel my tendon getting caught on my wrist bones. It hurt as bad as it sounds!
ANP says
Hi gang! Looking for some gift recommendations. My BFF has a birthday coming up — she’s a SAHM to two kids 3 and under and I want to get her something thoughtful…but I’m drawing a blank. She recently opened an Etsy shop focused on sewing/fabric crafts, but other than that most of her life is spent chasing her sons. Her husband works a ton in a Big Job so she’s always first on the front lines at home, though she does have a very PT nanny (1 day/week, maybe?) who helps out. I work in a Big Job myself but have always appreciated how the two of us can (and do) support one another — she’s absolutely the best, crazy generous of herself with me and my kiddos.
We live about an hour apart and are meeting up in a few weeks for birthday brunch, just the two of us (our b’days are relatively close). Any ideas for a good gift, preferably $30 – $50, for someone like her? I could do lotion or smelly candles or whatever but I want it to be better than that…
Meg Murry says
A gift card or IOU to a spa day (or mani-pedis, or whatever) for the 2 of you to be able to spend time together, maybe in the next month or two? With little kids, I prefer gifts of time together (away from them) over stuff. Do the kids know you and are you good with them? Taking them for an afternoon so she can do something for herself (or even take a nap) would be a nice thing to do for her.
If you really want to get her a “thing” – is there anything she has complained about that her kids broke or that is lost or that she’d really like an upgrade on? One of my good friends bought us 4 sets of earbuds/headphones once in all different colors, and then made a point when gifting them of saying “and your Mommy’s are the purple ones, those are only for her – these yellow and orange one are for kids”. It wasn’t so much about the gift itself that made me so happy, but it was about the fact that my friend had listened, and remembered me complaining about the kids breaking one pair of my earbuds, and then my husband “borrowing” and basically claiming mine as his – I really felt “heard” that day, cheesy as it sounds.
acf says
Does anyone have a job that is pretty flexible and conducive to being a mom? If so, what is it? Do these things exist?
We are having our first baby soon, and I am thinking of stepping away from biglaw (which I intended to do in relatively soon anyway) and finding something that is more family-friendly. For the first time ever in my life, I am considering taking a job without regard to prestige/pay/career development, at least for the next couple years. I don’t necessarily love being a lawyer, so am fine moving away from that. I have other areas that I am interested in (more non-profit, operational type work), but I am not under any illusions that these jobs will necessarily be less demanding cf. my job now. I have no desire to be a full-time SAHM as of now.
In a lot of ways, my particular biglaw job has been pretty flexible so far, but at the end of the day, it’s still too many hours/stress/notmyjam to be sustainable, so just looking for some ideas, or at least some factors to what makes a job baby-friendly.
Job says
I work for the trade association for my industry which has been great overall. Far more flexibility than working in the industry itself while still staying up to date on the latest trends and expanding my network. It’s full time but closer to 40 hrs than 60 hrs
What makes it family friendly is very few fires/emergencies (so predictable hours for the most part) and ability to work from home regularly. I do have to travel occasionally but it’s an OK tradeoff given everything else
ANP says
I think I could better answer your question if I knew more about what you liked doing at work everyday. I do believe there are parent-friendly jobs out there (I have one!), but it of course depends on what you’re good at and/or what you want to be doing with your time.
acf says
I’ll tell you that I don’t really enjoy sitting by myself and reading/writing/reviewing all day (so, for example, would never in my life would want to be a clerk). I feel like that’s the only definitive thing I know about what I don’t want out of my next job… I will say (and maybe you can tell from my response) that it’s been very hard for me to start thinking about other jobs that are not being a lawyer in a law firm.
What’s your current job?
JJ says
I switched from Biglaw litigation in a specialized practice to in-house work. I love it and (five months later, at least) have not had second-thoughts about my switch.
I’m still doing legal work, giving legal advice, and reviewing legal documents. But I’m also sitting in with the C-suite execs and becoming an adviser in purely business matters. My supervisor (male) has two young kids and our GC has a young daughter and both are very active parents that don’t want to work more than they have to. I work generally from 8-5, with a few emails on my phone here and there at night, but nothing urgent or truly “requiring” a response.
So, in-house can be awesome if you can get intel on the company and working conditions for the position.
anon says
I used to work in biglaw until my oldest son was about 14 months old, then I just couldn’t deal with it anymore. I took a job as a part time associate at a small law firm. They needed help but lacked office space and did not think they could keep another attorney busy full time, so I work part time, about half of the time from my home office. I lucked out because it turned out to the best part time job ever. We are litigators in a niche field with large cases (with many parties and hundreds of thousands of pages of documents), and the work load really ebbs and flows depending on our trial schedule. So, we have several contract attorneys who we keep busy on a part time basis reviewing documents helping us during really busy briefing times, and they work mostly remotely – I hardly ever see them at our office. I think positions like these would also be good for moms who want a flexible or part time schedule. The hours can vary widely from week-to-week, but I have a nanny who comes a few set days per week and grandparents nearby that fill in when necessary.
Jen says
I work (very hard) for a company on the west coast, but live on the east coast. I work from my house, with a 2-3 days of travel per month. My busy hours are 10-5 EST, and I block out time from 5-8EST. I do more work after the house is clean and kid is asleep, from 8-9ish. I get a lot of my own actual work done from 5-7am, before the baby is up.
Baby goes to daycare from ~9 to 5; I drop her off and my husband (who leaves the house at 7:30am) picks her up on his way home, around 6pm. I have dinner going and we eat between 5:30 and 6. Dad does bathtime, I do dishes. We switch off bedtime depending on who is more behind at work.
If baby gets sick, I can usually flex to have her home with me. If it’s for more than one day, either DH or I have to take the day off.
Semi-nonymous says
I had a golden unicorn of a job that was great for me as a mom, other than the fact that it was completely off-ramping of my career – it was in an Admin-type role at a local college that required more specialized skills than the average admin, but still nothing like the skills in my career job.
The unicorn parts: it was part time (less than 20 hours a week), it was extremely flexible as to how I fit those hours into my workweek, it was 5 minutes from home, and while the pay wasn’t as good as my industry “career” job it was more than 2/3 the “hourly” rate I had been receiving – as opposed to so many part time jobs out there where I would have taken an 80% paycut but only a 50% cut in hours. And the most unicorn part of all – it had really good, really cheap health insurance!
The less good: it was sometimes mind-numbingly boring work, and there were definitely times when I thought “what do they think I am, their secretary?” Until I realized, that yes, actually I was basically their secretary, and that’s what they were paying me (fairly well) to do, so if someone wanted me to make photocopies or sort the receipts for their expense reports, I could do that for a few hours a day in trade for having lots of free time outside of work.
The really bad: it was a 1 year contract that they were hoping to get renewed, and the new administration wouldn’t approve it’s renewal – it was a political decision not to increase headcount, nothing to do with my performance.
When the contract ended, and I was looking for new work, I was basically able to spin it as “I ramped down to be with my family a while and now I’m looking to get back into my field” and I was basically treated the same (or maybe slightly better) as someone who had taken off a few years to be a SAHM. I’m never going to make it into some kind of C-suite level track or anything like that – but I knew that long before I stepped back.
I agree with others – what do you like to do, what do you hate to do, and what are you willing to do for only a few hours a day? I know you said you wouldn’t want to write/read alone – but if you were looking for an actual part-time gig instead of less-than-full-time, would you consider Grant Writing as something that might use your skills? What is something that you DO enjoy in your current job?
Sarabeth says
I’m a college professor at a small liberal arts college. Amazingly flexible schedule, ability to work from home 2-3 days a week. Not a job you would be able to get without a lot of retraining, and the tenure-track law prof market is pretty brutal these days, but what about teaching legal writing and lawyering? I know people a few years out of law school who did that.
PregAnon says
I’m in house at a large architecture / design firm, and it seems to be working out so far. I’m 4 months pregnant, and they were willing to let me work from home on days that I was just about dead with “morning sickness.” Most of the lawyers here are women (in a department of 12, we only have 2 men) and all but one or two of them have kids. No paid maternity leave other than what we get from our disability policy, which I find weird given our size, but as far as flexibility goes it is pretty good.
Hoping for a 1 day a week work from home arrangement when I come back, but I have to talk to GC about that later this week!
Jdubs says
I like to give these to my mom friends as presents:
http://www.amazon.com/Moms-One-Line-Day-Five-Year/dp/0811874907
Job says
Wrong place
Merabella says
My due date is Friday. I’m approaching the end of all of my projects, but I feel like I’m going to be here all next week too… Part of me wants to ask for work, because otherwise I’m going to be bored out of my skull. but the other part of me feels like I don’t want to bother…
Maddie Ross says
IME, asking for work is the surest way to go into labor.