CorporetteMoms

Updated: Nov 1, 2018 128 Comments · by

Maternity Monday: Bodycon Dress

Maternity· Recent Recs

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Washable Maternity Dress: Old Navy Maternity Bodycon Dress I’m not sure who it was at Old Navy who decided to call the color of this dress “sleepless indigo,” but C’MON. As if pregnancy isn’t hard enough, now your dress has to remind you of your lousy night’s sleep? Not cool, Old Navy, not cool. STILL: It is a really cute dress, is super affordable, and is available in a solid black as well as two dark stripey patterns. It’s $32 full price at Old Navy, but you can get 30% off your order today (no code needed). Old Navy Maternity Bodycon Dress P.S. Even though this dress only goes up to a size XXL, Old Navy is one of the brands that our readers said was great for a plus-size maternity wardrobe. Psst 2: There’s a pretty kimono top in the same color. (L-3)

Sales of note for 9.10.24

(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)

Kid/Family Sales

  • Carter’s – Birthday sale, 40-50% off & extra 20% off select styles
  • Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off all baby; up to 40% off all Halloween
  • J.Crew Crewcuts – Extra 30% off sale styles
  • Old Navy – 40% off everything
  • Target – BOGO 25% off select haircare, up to 25% off floor care items; up to 30% off indoor furniture up to 20% off TVs

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Comments

  1. Black Belt in Adulting Update says

    I posted here a couple weeks ago about feeling like I had earned a black belt in adulting for taking care of and being POA for my friend’s elderly dying mother. Well, as of yesterday, she has started actively dying. There’s a hospice nurse in there 24/7 at this point and they have her comfortable, thankfully. I just had to tell someone. It has been really hard, but what has made it so much easier is that while she was still able, she made all her wishes known. So all I have to do is tell the nurses/hospice people what she wants, I don’t have to make any decisions myself. I’ve been putting off having my own estate planning done, but I’m going to do it this week. It’s so important that you have your wishes known.

    Also, I found exactly what I was looking for in terms of a gold star necklace. Tiffany has a charm called the “super star charm”. I’m ordering it once this is all over, and using it as a pendant for a necklace. It is a smaller star within a larger star. This is the first piece of real jewelry I’ve bought for myself, and I’m pretty excited about it.

    • Anon in NYC says

      I’m so sorry about your friend’s mom. You are a rock star and a really good friend for helping with all of this stuff.

    • OtherSide says

      I recently had a miscarriage, and had told my mom about the pregnancy but not my husband’s family. All I can say is thank goodness we did it that way. I really needed to rely on my mom during that time and I know that once we tell MIL we have effectively told the entire side of the family (sounds like your in-laws may be similar)? I could not have dealt with telling all of them and fielding consolation calls in the weeks after the miscarriage. As much as we all wish husband would run interference, there’s only so much you can do to avoid without being rude when people call and text your cell. My recommendation would be to let your parents know that you haven’t told the in-laws yet so they won’t mention it and hope it doesn’t turn up. Ultimately, pregnancy is different for the one actually carrying the child and I think the in-laws will understand if they find out there was a couple week gap in sharing the news.

      • OtherSide says

        Agh, this was for the pregnancy question below. Edit button, where are you?!

  2. Telling mom and dad says

    My folks are coming to town this weekend and while its highly unlikely that we’ve made a baby this month, it got me thinking about when/how to tell.

    My instinct is to tell my parents within a few weeks of finding out. If something went wrong, I’d want their support.

    I wouldn’t however want to tell my husband’s parents until we’d done the scan. Two key reasons: I wouldn’t expect them to be supportive in helpful ways (I think my MIL would cry and I’d end up consoling her?). Also, my MIL cannot keep a secret.

    Totally unfair? How did you navigate this?

    • pockets says

      You can do whatever you want, but if your MIL finds out there will be hurt feelings. Think about if you had a son, and his wife told her parents she was pregnant weeks before she told you – how would you feel?

      How does your husband feel about this plan?

      • Telling mom and dad says

        That’s a great point, thanks! I didn’t know if it was an unreasonable suggestion so we haven’t talked about it in detail. I know I’m borrowing trouble by thinking about it now but needed a gut check.

        My MIL is very kind but very, very emotional. When my grandfather died (who I haven’t seen in years / felt quite ambivalent about) I said I didn’t want to discuss it and got lots of pitying sighs and check-in texts which made me really uncomfortable. I appreciate my response wasn’t “normal” but I was clear about what I needed and wished they could respect that, you know?

        But I need to remember that my husband will want to share this with his mom, just as I want to share it with mine. Might just avoid her until we get the all clear.

        • AIMS says

          I think your husband may want to tell and I think a lot of parents would be saddened (if not actually offended) to find out late, even if that applied to both sets of parents. Like you knew for 2-3 months and you’re only sharing now?

          We waited about a week to tell our parents after we found out. Mr. AIMS wanted to share the news right away, I really wanted a week where no one knew but us. I probably would have waited longer if he didn’t insist on sharing, but in retrospect I am glad that we shared. He thought it felt dishonest to not tell, and maybe you’ll feel similarly. I was just surprised by how emotional everyone was. My mom is a super common-sense person normally and rarely gets weepy and she started crying buckets when we told her.

          • Anon in NYC says

            Agreed. I would be sad if my kid told me like 2-3 months after she told her in-laws (and I don’t think that’s an unreasonable feeling).

            Also, I think the point about your husband wanting to tell is a good one. He may want to share the happy news with his family, and he may also want their support if something goes wrong. It’s not really fair to him to tell him that he can’t just because you don’t want to deal with his mom. If, god forbid, something does go wrong, your husband will have to run interference with his mom and tell her that you don’t really want to talk about it (even if you’re on the phone with your parents a ton) and that she shouldn’t check in with you so much.

            FWIW, we waited until about 11 weeks to tell all of our family. We would have waited 12 but the timing just worked out for 11 weeks.

        • pockets says

          I didn’t mean to judge your choice – it’s your pregnancy and you can do what you want, and it seems like you have legitimate concerns. Just pointing out that the concerns might not necessarily be valid to your MIL, and you should expect the fallout.

    • Betty says

      We told my side of the family almost immediately. We waited to tell my husband’s family until 10-13 weeks each time. My MiL makes everything about her and is completely unhelpful. Totally fine to tell different sides of the family at different times.

      • Anonymous says

        Same. We told my parents far earlier, because we couldn’t hide how sick I was. His family lives in another country, so it was easy to not mention the sickness and fatigue. No one seems to have any hurt feelings.

      • Katala says

        +1 I really don’t think the decision should be made based on other people’s feelings. You can of course take them into account to the extent you want to, but if people are offended for a decision you made in your own family’s (i.e., you, partner, and baby-to-be) best interest and not out of malice, well, too bad. Yes, I might feel sad/hurt if my son told me weeks after his in-laws, but I would also respect his choice and be happy to hear the news when I did and would not blame them for my hurt feelings.

    • Anonymous says

      We waited about two months to tell my parents. I really enjoyed the time of just the two of us knowing. Telling others felt like it started the public journey of pregnancy.

      We told my parents first and then told MIL about a month later after we’d heard the heart beat. If we’d had to terminate for something at the scan, we would have told MIL that I’d had a miscarriage – she’s super pro-life with no exceptions and I don’t need her judgement.

      Do not tell anyone you know to be unable to keep a secret. We found out that DH’s friend’s wife was pregnant because the friend’s mom ran into my MIL at the grocery store. Friend’s mom had been asked not to tell anyone but told MIL anyway. She asked MIL not to tell but MIL told us. Sadly, friend’s wife lost the baby about two weeks later. I’d say about 50 people knew – which is fine if that’s what she wanted but it wasn’t.

    • CPA Lady says

      We told everyone after the 8 week scan. I didn’t really believe it until then anyway.

      • CPA Lady says

        Everyone = family. We told all our friends and stuff after the first trimester was over.

    • MDMom says

      I felt somewhat similarly. Though I didn’t feel that strongly about telling my parents early- I trust them to keep a secret and be supportive, but I’m generally super private and happy to keep things to myself. I love my in laws but they have no secret keeping ability (fil, in particular). We decided, for sake of fairness, to tell everyone at the same time, around 14 weeks.

      Also, I have 6 nieces and nephews and I have always preferred finding out later in the pregnancy because the waiting (and worry) is so much less. My sister in law tends to share as soon as she gets a positive test and it always feels like she is pregnant forever.

      • Telling mom and dad says

        I had a cousin who posted it on facebook at 4.5 weeks. Different strokes for different folks but that’s really early and yes, it has felt like she’s been pregnant forever.

        • Pogo says

          Wow, given pregnancy dating that’s like… she JUST got a positive sign. That’s not even out of the woods for a chemical pregnancy!

          I’ve had friends tell at 7 and 9 weeks and yeah, it seemed soon. But it all worked out for them, so yay?

    • Knope says

      I don’t have strong feelings about telling my own parents but I feel the exact same way as you about telling my ILs, even though my husband would love to tell them. We compromised and aren’t telling anyone until 10 weeks, when we are visiting his parents. I think it’s traditional to wait until the end of the first trimester but according to Expecting Better the risk of MC is about the same in 10-12 wks; there’s no magic switch at the end of the 1st tri.

    • HSAL says

      That’s tough – I agree it could lead to hurt feelings, but the inability to keep the secret would be a dealbreaker for me. If your husband feels very strongly about telling both parents at the same time, I say delay until you’re ready to tell both. Your family would still support you if something happened, even if they didn’t already know (and you don’t have to tell MIL in that case). If he’s wishy-washy about telling his side, I think you have a strong case to tell yours first.

    • Anonymous says

      I did this. My mom had major fertility struggles and at least one miscarriage. My husband’s mom, the minute she found out (early but later than my own parents) wanted to tell all her coworkers and kept asking “can i tell yet?”

      For the second kid, it was a no brainer. So anyways, i think its totally fair to anticipate their reactions and act accordingly.

    • Faye says

      We were in a similar situation, but I also had a job switch happen at the same time. We told the parents about the job switch and asked them to keep it secret (as a kind of “test”, which may not be fair, but whatever). When we showed up to a family party on the IL side a week later and everyone congratulated me on the job switch, it sealed the deal. We told my parents first, then told his family a day or two before we made it public. They had proven unable to keep a secret, so it was easier for him to accept.

      It’s really a matter of who you would want to know and discuss a miscarriage with – that may or may not be “fair”. Don’t let “fair” dictate your parenting decisions, or you’ll have a tough road ahead. (Don’t get me started on who got to visit the hospital, let alone who got to be there for the delivery.) Just focus on what is best for you two and your child, and go from there.

      • Anonymous says

        “Don’t let “fair” dictate your parenting decisions, or you’ll have a tough road ahead”

        + 1 million to this.

        You’re carrying the baby. Tell the people you want to know and trust to keep a secret. Your husband needs to get over the ‘fairness’. He’s not the one trying to hide puking at work and needing to vent to his sibling about it.

    • OtherSide says

      Reposting since I don’t seem to know how to internet…

      I recently had a miscarriage, and had told my mom about the pregnancy but not my husband’s family. All I can say is thank goodness we did it that way. I really needed to rely on my mom during that time and I know that once we tell MIL we have effectively told the entire side of the family (sounds like your in-laws may be similar)? I could not have dealt with telling all of them and fielding consolation calls in the weeks after the miscarriage. As much as we all wish husband would run interference, there’s only so much you can do to avoid without being rude when people call and text your cell. My recommendation would be to let your parents know that you haven’t told the in-laws yet so they won’t mention it and hope it doesn’t turn up. Ultimately, pregnancy is different for the one actually carrying the child and I think the in-laws will understand if they find out there was a couple week gap in sharing the news.

    • anon says

      My husband would have been really hurt if I said we could tell my family but not his. So I guess it depends how he feels. Re the commenter who asked how you would feel if you had a son who told you later, I think you just have to assume that you will have a different relationship and it wouldn’t be the same.

      Anyway, we told my in-laws at 13 weeks with our first because it was thanksgiving and had told everyone there, but waited until 15 weeks to tell my family, because it was my dad’s 60th and we did s/t special for it. The in-laws were annoying for those two weeks–they kept asking if they could tell X or Y people and we kept saying no. The second time we waited until 16 weeks to tell my family because I just didn’t feel like sharing the news and we knew we’d be seeing them for father’s day. We called my in-laws the day before we saw my family, so they knew the news “first” but didn’t get it delivered in-person.

      • Meg Murry says

        Yes, my husband also would have been upset if I told him I didn’t want to tell his parents for quite a while after telling mine, although I think we did wait a week or two because we wanted to wait until after a big family event (we didn’t want to take the chance that MIL or FIL would slip and say something that would let the cat out of the bag to the entire extended family).

        That said, I think it’s valid to say that you each should be able to tell at least one person that you trust to keep quiet, and that you would want to talk to if something went wrong. After all, if I had a miscarriage, my husband would have been upset too, and just like I would want to talk to my mom or sister about it, he would probably want to talk to his dad, brother or best friend, since he would need to be taking care of me while mourning himself. Obviously it wouldn’t be exactly the same, but I do think it’s reasonable for him to want to tell *someone* in his life the exiting news, and you need to decide as a couple whether your in-laws would be the appropriate people for that or not.

    • lucy stone says

      We told at the same time with both my miscarriage and my successful (to-date) pregnancy because we didn’t want to be unfair, but I made my husband shoulder the burden of his family. His mom is well-intentioned but drives me batty.

      • Pogo says

        Haha, “well-intentioned but drives me batty” is such a perfect MIL description.

    • Pogo says

      I’m thinking a lot about this, because both in-laws and parents know we did our retrieval this month (they were both in town and it was hard to hide, long story).

      Anyway…. I’m a little concerned that next month we’ll get the “so did it work?!” comments, and I do not want that. I really want some time where it is just us who knows. Because of this, I want to wait until the first ultrasound and tell both sets of parents.

      Though ideally I’d rather just wait for first tri, since they know next month is the transfer I can’t imagine they’ll let it drop. If no one knows you’re trying, I think you have a lot more leeway about when to tell.

      Also for me it would depend on what social circles everyone was in, and how active various people are on social media. My MIL (God bless her) would never post something personal about our family on FaceBook. She only likes and comments what we’ve already shared. Same for my parents. And in-laws do not live near us, and don’t really interact with others in our lives (friends, co-workers) so it’s not like I worry about her running into my boss at Stop and Shop and telling him, kwim?

      • Lurker says

        If your family does’t understand the process so well, you might get away with “too early to tell.” Sort of true in that you are waiting to see if it sticks!

        • Pogo says

          Very good point. I will go with that!

          This site is so great – you guys always think of things I wouldnt :)

          • Lurker says

            Bonus, it’s a double entendre. It IS too early to tell … them the result!

    • Bean74 says

      My first pregnancy ended in a miscarriage and that highlighted who was supportive in our families and who was not. I learned my parents are not great with empathy or keeping things quiet and also like to tell all the nitty-gritty details. My in-laws, on the other hand, had been down that road and were extremely supportive, as was my brother and his wife. That sealed the deal moving forward. I did not discuss anything related to fertility with my parents despite repeated questions and my mother-in-law and sister-in-law never asked anything about it unless I brought it up to them first.

      My second pregnancy we told my brother and his wife first, and then my in-laws. My parents also travel quite a bit and I wanted to tell them in person, so part of it was timing but mostly due to their inability to keep their mouths shut. Sure enough, less than 24 hours had passed before my dad had posted the video of us telling my mom on Facebook and we had to have a conversation about how we didn’t want that news shared on Facebook. It led to hurt feelings on both sides that are continuing today (I’m 19 weeks now). I hadn’t even gotten in the car after telling my parents before my godmother called to congratulate me – my mom had already texted her. So now, we tell everyone we want to tell personally before telling my parents anything. At this point, I do not care one iota about hurt feelings.

      As for the delivery, we’ve already decided that we don’t want anyone at the hospital waiting for the delivery and we’ll call family to let them know when they can visit.

      • Telling mom and dad says

        Thanks everyone! Good food for thought – it’s a tough balance, isn’t it? I think everyone knows we’re trying but they’ve been pretty good about not being nosy. Maybe I should have a bit more faith in them…

        I naively thought I’d be pregnant by now and had this cheesy plan to collect my parents at the airport with a grandma and grandpa sign :( Oh well, maybe a Christmas present?

        • Pogo says

          I have those cheesy dreams related to every holiday/get together, basically. Hugs.

        • Anon says

          One last thought – based on your comments it sounds like your parents will probably play a bigger role in things once the baby comes (my MIL sounds similar to yours). I’ve been trying to be emotionally generous with baby related stuff with my in laws when I can so that I can be selfish when it’s really important to me (I didn’t let them come visit until the bay was a week or two old, etc). I mostly am thoughtful about these things for my husbands sake. Even if he wouldn’t say anything or push back, he’s just as excited for his parents to be grandparents as I am for mine.

    • RunnerMom says

      You didn’t mention whether your husband would actually want to tell his parents right away. If not, this may be a moot point.

      My mother gave me great advice when pregnant with my son. She said we would tick off everyone in the family, but it wouldn’t matter as long as we were doing right by our child. I keep that in mind all the time.

      My first pregnancy, I wanted to wait to tell anyone. I had a miscarriage and was a wreck. We called my parents to visit to let them know what happened. They came over expecting to hear that we were expecting. It was extra awful for everyone involved. The second pregnancy, my mom knew a few minutes after my husband. My husband’s parents knew a few days later. You may not know how you feel until you get that positive test, and that’s ok.

  3. TBK says

    HELP! We’re driving from NoVA to Charleston this weekend, with twin toddlers in tow. We have new board books, travel aquadoodles, an iPad rigged up to play Elmo and other favorite videos, plus LeapFrog tablets on the way. I’ve also mapped out several McDonald’s PlayPlaces for running off excess energy. Oh, and we have snacks. So many snacks. Any other suggestions? There will be three adults — my husband, me, and my mother-in-law (God bless her). The au pair wisely opted out of this trip and will instead be enjoying a three-day weekend alone in a quiet house (yes, we’re driving down Saturday, and driving back Monday). If we can make it with only one hour of Twin B screaming “GET DOWN GET DOWN GET DOWN” I’ll figure it was a success. I’m afraid, however, that it will be 12+ hours of two twins screaming non-stop and every in the minivan hating everyone else by about hour 4.

    • Betty says

      Can you wrap each of the new books and anything else you procure as an individual present? It buys a bit of additional time. A few more ideas: stickers, water wow books, wiki stix, and lots of snacks. Also, alex toys makes sets of bath squirters that come in a clear little plastic suitcase. Both of my kids could spend hours taking the toys out and putting them back in as toddlers (most of a flight from Boston to Denver).

      • TBK says

        Wrapping all the things is a brilliant idea. We have a roll of wrapping paper just hanging around that I’ve wanted to get rid of. I’ll be wrapping tonight!

    • pockets says

      sticker books? If they have a favorite character or movie, you can get a themed sticker book. We just got a Dory one (which I called “Dora” and which my 2.5 year old patiently pointed out that it was dorY not dorA) and it’s been a big hit. Bring along extra paper for them to put the stickers on.

      • TBK says

        I should have said that my MIL has bought them stickers, sticker books, and colorforms. So we also have those.

    • mascot says

      It’s also worth looking at parks and rest stops along your route (and Chikfila in case you need a change of food). Fresh air and green space sometimes help with better naps. Pandora has a bunch of kids music stations if you like singalongs.

    • Anonymous says

      What does GET DOWN GET DOWN mean? My toddler screams HELP ME HELP ME! and it is so unsettling.

      • TBK says

        “Get down” means he wants to get down from his chair/car seat/high chair/arms of whoever is holding him. It means “put me on the ground.”

        • CPA Lady says

          Either that or he has this really strong urge to boogie…. Have you tried dressing him in a tiny disco suit and seeing what happens? ;)

          • Anonymous says

            Haha, yeah my first thought was like, shots fired, hit the deck! But put me on the ground makes more sense!

        • TBK says

          He screamed this through their entire baptism (they were two when we had them baptized). It was awesome. And by awesome I mean not at all. Although all the old people were apparently delighted. They keep coming up to us and saying how adorable he was screaming in my husband’s face.

    • Anonymous says

      Lego Duplo are one of my go-to car trip toys. My toddler isn’t big on drawing or stickers but a ziploc bag full of duplo will keep him entertained for ages.

    • FVNC says

      Everyone else covered all amusements I can think of, so I’ll offer this: if they will nap in the car, I suggest a little toddler neck support pillow, like the pillows adults use on airplanes.

      We somehow inherited one, but never used it until about three weeks ago during a four hour road trip. Usually, my kiddo will fall asleep in her car seat easily, but wake up after 45 min-1 hr because her head bobs around. This past trip, I was able to wedge the pillow around her neck after she fell asleep, and she slept the whole four hours! It was amazing.

      • Ms B says

        +1 on this; it is a lifesaver when we drive to the ILs every summer because The Kid actually takes a good nap with his.

        Also +1 on headphones for the kiddos. There is no way I can stand hours of Paw Patrol/Thomas/PJ Mess without going BSC; headphones mean that the hubs and I can enjoy an audiobook or podcast of our own.

    • Meg Murry says

      Since it’s a mini-van, can I suggest you plan to put one child and one adult in the middle seats, and one child plus one adult in the back seats instead of two adults up front and the kids next to each other? Having an adult sitting right next to the kid and paying direct attention to them can really make all the difference in how long the kids will sit still, so long as the driver doesn’t need an adult to serve as navigator.

      Can you practice using headphones this week so the other adults don’t want to scream if they have to hear Elmo one more time? Be sure all electronics are fully charged the night before, and make sure you have car chargers as well as wall chargers to charge for the return trip.

      Also, if your husband is going to be the primary driver and he’s anything like my husband, pack his favorite snacks too, and plot out his favorite coffee stops, etc – whining kids + other idiot drivers + driving through an unfamiliar city + not eating well = hangry husband. Pack some relatively healthy snacks for the adults as well – I always feel so gross after sitting in a car all day, not having gotten any exercise and only eating fast food and convenience store snacks. Even just a small cooler with bottled water. baby carrots and apples would be better than nothing.

      Also, check out Google Maps/the state DOTs for any major highway construction projects so you know where you might be stuck not moving or detoured – that’s when things break down on our family road trips, because it’s usually kids whining + H cranky and snapping at me to figure out an alternate route while I’m trying to tune them all out to figure out where the heck we are on the map/GPS and where we are trying to go. I’ve since learned to turn on Google Maps with our final destination and then mute it on my phone (and pull up the app every hour or so to let it update as to where we are) after one too many times of my husband telling me *NOT* to use Google/GPS because he knows where he’s going, followed by us fighting when I can’t figure out how to direct him around a detour with only one minute’s notice.

      • dc mom anon says

        yes! glad im not the only one that cant figure out the map under pressure.

      • mascot says

        The Waze app has been super accurate for us for routes, speed traps, and arrival times. I can’t recommend it enough (pretty sure it’s the data source for the Google maps traffic)

    • Roadtrip says

      Just got back from a roadtrip that involved over 24 hrs of driving in 2 wks with my twin toddlers and they were great for the most part. Ideas:
      – playgrounds and outdoor parks can be a nice alternative to McDonalds to get some fresh air
      – one kid did get a crick in his neck from falling asleep in the car and I felt guilty but most of the aftermarket neck supports are not approved by carseat manufacturers
      – kid friendly book on tapes for the driver. Think Harry Potter. Not necessarily for the kids but fine for them to hear
      – picture book audiobooks from the library with their favorite stories
      – bring lots of extra sandwich bags to make snack bags with things like Cheerios or chips. So many snacks.
      – matchbook cars were great for my son
      – stop every 2-3 hours for a stretch break.
      Safe travels!

  4. Backpacks says

    My oldest starts kindergarten this fall and I want to buy her a new backpack. I was thinking Land’s End or LLBean with her initials or name on it. Suggestions on size? Is one brand better than the other? Is there another brand to look at for this kind of thing?

    • Frozen Peach says

      LL Bean backpacks last forever… and they will replace it if it tears or breaks.

    • mascot says

      +1 for LLBean. We’ve got a Junior size for our 6 year old and it’s holding up well to its second year of heavy use.

      • Backpacks says

        That’s great recommendation! Do they normally offer more colors in the Junior though? They only have blue/red/pink right now.

        There are two younger brothers who start daycare at the same time so I was thinking it might be cute for them to have the same backpack in different colors but I hate her having ‘pink’ everything all the time because she’s the girl. Was hoping for blue/red/green or blue/red/yellow or dark purple

        • Meg Murry says

          Is she small for her age/size, or tall for her age? The junior is recommended for 4 and up, the original for 6 and up – I’d say if you are hoping to get her something for both K and potentially 1st grade to go for the original size unless she’s very petite.

          FWIW, the LL Bean original looks like it has very similar dimensions as the Land’s End small, which they recommend for 3’6″ to 4′. My son was barely 3’6″ or just under and we got him the small (or maybe even the medium?), which was a little big at the time but still worked for the next year.

          I let my son pick for K and he picked Land’s End because he liked some of the extra features like the chest strap, but their quality has been all over the board in recent years, so I’d lean for LL Bean over Land’s End. Land’s End technically has a “satisfaction guaranteed” policy, but you have to mail back the defective backpack and then wait for them to send you a replacement, which doesn’t work unless you have a backup since that would put you without a backpack for 2-3 weeks – which isn’t worth it for something like a broken zipper pull or chest strap, but is annoying none the less.

          That said, if you find that whatever you picked didn’t hold up or your kids are outgrowing it, Land’s End had kids backpacks and lunchboxes on super clearance around Thanksgiving last year – so my son got a new backpack and lunchbox for Christmas for something like $15 and $5.

    • Betty says

      Definitely LLBean. I still have mine from when I was a kid 30+ years ago. Plus their customer service is outstanding.

      We are getting one for my son who is also starting kindergarten in the fall. I was going to get the tiny one, but my husband (an elementary school assistant principal) told me: he is small but his snow gear is not; don’t make him schlep an extra bag with his hat, gloves and other stuff. Not sure if that is a concern for you.

      • Backpacks says

        Someone above recommended the junior size. Do you think that will be too small? We live in a snowy area too but I’m assuming she’ll be wearing her snowgear on snowy days?

        • Betty says

          I’d check with your school. My son who did public pre-k last year would wear his snow jacket and boots on the bus but not his snow bibs. The bibs stayed at school much of the time but were occasionally sent home to be cleaned or were worn home on accident. Oh and when he wore snow boots on the bus, a pair of regular shoes had to go in his backpack (especially on phys ed days).

          Regarding the other colors being backordered: Call LLBean and ask when they will be available.

          One other random thought: We don’t monogram our kids’ names on stuff. Yes, it may get mixed up with another kid’s backpack, but that happens. It can be a safety risk to have your kid’s name visible to others. It makes it easy for a predator to call your kid by name.

          • JEB says

            I was going to mention the same thing about the name. Law enforcement recommends against it because of the safety risk. I’d probably stick with initials.

    • EB0220 says

      We have the JR size from LL Bean and got it in a light purple a few years ago.

    • hoola hoopa says

      From PK-1st, my kids have used Wildkins Sidekick (from Amazon). They’ve been a good size, good fit, and held up great for the level of use they get at that age (same one for all 3 years). The cute designs have been a hit with the kids at that age, more so than the older designs from LLB and LE.

      Make sure it fits a standard sized folder. All the ones from LLB and LE should, but some of the cutesy brands don’t.

  5. Preggo at Work says

    Looking for a good way to get comfortable at my desk job while pregnant. Is a cushion the answer? Should I try a food stool? Getting a whole new chair isn’t really an option in my office. Looking for any suggestions/recs to get working comfortably again.

    • H says

      Try an exercise ball! When my back started hurting in pregnancy, this really helped me. Plus great for when baby is born because you can bounce while holding baby.

    • Anonymous says

      I ended up buying a lumbar cushion (for the back of my chair) and one for the seat of my chair (I think intended for people with hip problems) and it has made all the difference. Before pillows, my back and hips hurt so much at the end of the day I could barely walk…post-pillows, it’s at least bearable to be in my chair most of the day (I’m 36 weeks now, so really nothing is comfortable). Both purchased for relatively cheap on Amazon.

    • Anon in NYC says

      Definitely get a foot stool (or use a bankers box). Also, if you have a private office, get up and stretch more often.

      • SoCalAtty says

        Second this. I had a cube that I kept my feet on almost all the time and I really think it helped prevent swelling.

    • lucy stone says

      I used a foot rest, which turned into a foot rest on top of a garbage can. I also recommend making sure you get up and stretch regularly. I have a program called WorkPause to prevent eye strain and it also reminded me to get up and do a few squats or shake everything loose every 20 minutes or so.

    • rakma says

      Foot stool and lumbar pillow for sure.I don’t use either all day, but the variety of positions those two things allow make my day so much better. I also have a wedge pillow that is usually in the car, but will sometimes come into the office with me.

    • Anonymous says

      I stood up all day (with my computer propped up on bankers boxes). With a giant baby up to my ribs, it gave me more room to breathe.

    • Anon says

      MotherMag, A cup of Jo (only for the Mom around the world series, everything else is so transparently a sponsored ad it’s grating), Slate (DoubleX esp)…

      please commentariat would love to add others !

    • mascot says

      Somewhat parenting related- Brain Child, AlphaMom, Amalah, Bloggess, Dinner a love story

      • TBK says

        I could not love the Bloggess any more. I want to just read her conversations with Victor on endless repeat.

  7. lucy stone says

    I am in the last weeks of pregnancy (I hit 40 weeks on Wednesday) and am working from home this week due to discomfort and just generally being over getting dressed for work. What are things you did to make the first days of a newborn a little easier on yourself? Are there things I should order? We have a rolling diaper cart so I can keep it with me and the baby throughout the day and I could stock a shelf on there with supplies, what should I include?

    Also, I am expected to have a large baby. She was measuring around 9 lbs at 38 weeks. I bought a Fridet, but what else is helpful to have at home for that type of recovery?

    • Anon MN says

      Snack food that is filling but that you can eat with one hand/easy to grab (salami, peanut butter pretzels, bars, pre-cut fruit). Kindle/Kindle App for reading books with one hand. If the rocking chair is in the nursery right now, move it to in front of the TV if you can. Netflix is going to be your BFF.

      FWIW my large baby recoveries seemed equal to all of my friends’ small baby recoveries, so don’t stress about it. Peri bottle from the hospital is the best. Epsom salts for baths (I know not all doctors “allow” baths after child birth, but my midwife highly recommended them to aid in recovery and they were amazing. My 30 minutes a day of “me” time).

      The first thing we left the house for, smaller pads. Everyone tells you to buy the large ones but eventually you need the smaller ones too.

      • EB0220 says

        I totally agree with all of the above. I would also add: you will be SO THIRSTY. I recommend a giant insulated water battle. Giant. Also – I found that the “modern” pads with that plasticy lining stuck to my stitches and were really uncomfortable, so I’d go for the old-school pads with a cloth feel. For amusement at night, I recommend a tablet and headphones as an alternative to the TV. I watched ALL of Parenthood and The Good Wife while nursing my second baby. And probably read 2+ books a week. My kids like to eat.

      • Betty says

        My kiddos were 6lbs 5oz and 9lbs 3 ozs at birth. The recoveries were the same. Also, ultrasounds can be ridiculously off at the end of a pregnancy. The predicted my first to be 8+ lbs, and he was a peanut.

        In tandem to the Netflix as BFF comment (which I totally agree with), I would adjust your mindset to this: Your sole “job” for a long long time is to sit down, recover from childbirth (however it happens) and feed your baby (whether that is BM or formula). That’s it. Do nothing else and don’t feel bad/guilty for doing nothing else because those things alone are huge.

        • Meg Murry says

          Huge +1 to the second paragraph.

          Your job is to keep the baby alive and to recover yourself, by whatever means that takes. Which may very well mean planting yourself in a comfortable seat and watching all kinds of tv, reading on your kindle, etc while eating whatever appeals to you and ignoring housework. Don’t feel let yourself feel guilty for letting other household chores slide during this time, especially if you are BF and are the only one who can feed the baby.

          My tip is to add a ton of shows/movies that are good enough to hold your attention at least somewhat, but that don’t require you to follow every minute super closely and that aren’t so engrossing that you don’t mind stopping or pausing them if the baby finally falls asleep in the middle and you have a chance to sleep. We didn’t have Netflix when my youngest was born, so for me this translated into Tivo-ing a lot of daytime shows, cooking shows, Lifetime/Hallmark type of movies and re-watching a lot of old favorite comfort movies. Basically brain candy

          • Katala says

            +1 to saving these types of shows. Too effort much to find the remote and rewind if you miss a plot point.

    • AIMS says

      The things I was happiest to have gotten ahead of time were long heavy duty maxi pads with wings, earth mama angel baby n*pple butter (better than the more commercial ones, imho, & really clutch in the beginning), and plain cotton undies. Also, soft nursing bras and nursing pads. I would put lots of soft burp cloths on your cart – I feel like I couldn’t have enough in the beginning – and some granola/energy bars of choice and water. I was always super thirsty and hungry when I nursed the first few days. It’s like kid would start drinking and I would feel like I was dying of thirst instantly.

      • Katala says

        And I always have to advise against pads with the high-tech fabric/coating since they caught on my stitches and that was not fun until I figured out what was happening. The pads from the hospital were perfect (but not as thin as the advanced technology ones) and I found Stayfree original very similar – the cottony top was heaven.

    • Anon in NYC says

      Honestly, I didn’t buy much for at home recovery (my baby was a little smaller – 8 lbs, 4 oz). But, when at the hospital, do ask the nurses to give you extras to take home! I took home extra numbing spray, extra witch hazel pads, the little peri bottle, etc. The one thing they can’t give you is extra painkillers. My hospital gave me ibuprofen, which I didn’t have at home so I bought that instead of using what I already had (generic Aleve).

      As for stocking the rolling diaper cart: diapers + wipes, burp cloths, aquaphor, and a light swaddle blanket. For you, keep a giant cup of water on it, plus some snacks. Also, if you’re planning on breastfeeding, lanolin for post-nursing.

      Good luck! Exciting times.

    • mascot says

      Have supplies for yourself as well- going up and down stairs multiple times a day is a bad idea (ask me how I know). I finally wised up and moved some extra clothing/chargers/books, etc. to the main floor since we spent our days in the family room. +100 for appealing, one handed snacks and a variety of beverages.

    • octagon says

      You’re so close! I vividly remember that phase of teleworking, mostly because everything ached and I hated all clothes except leggings and cardigans.

      Lactation cookies, if you are planning to BF. If you are so inclined, you can make a second batch of dough now and stick it in the freezer.
      Extra pillows and phone chargers in every room.
      If you have more than one bathroom, make sure you have pads/supplies in each.

    • Momata says

      My recs echo those above: lanolin if you plan to bf, Tucks pads and the peri bottle if you deliver v–ally, set yourself up to avoid multiple trips up and down the stairs (I had very little damage but still managed to overdo it), huge water bottle, snacks. I am weird about screens and kids, so I set myself up with bluetooth headphones and watched Netflix on my iPad instead of parking us both in front of the TV.

    • Meg Murry says

      Along with what everyone else has said, if you have the room to store it for it go ahead and restock on basic paper and cleaning products – nothing like discovering you are out of toilet paper or laundry detergent or dish soap in the middle of the night when you have a 1.5 week old.

      Related, do you think you’ll have a lot of visitors? Look through your maternity/lounge clothes and pjs and see what you have that would be comfortable postpartum or if you wind up with a c-section, that you wouldn’t mind people seeing you in, but that are comfy enough to nap in without changing. I wound up wearing a lot of maternity yoga pants and elastic waisted skirts with t-shirts or nursing tanks so that I could wear them both to sleep in and as clothes – that way I wasn’t sitting in something that looked like pajamas at 3 pm, but I could easily go collapse if baby let me sleep with minimal effort. In the early days I just changed what I was wearing every 12-36 hours or when it got too covered in ick, but I didn’t differentiate pajamas from daytime clothing.

      If you are planning to BF (or even if you aren’t) your doctor may ask you how many wet/dirty diapers baby has in a day in the early days, so having a small notepad in your diaper changing area is useful.

    • Formerly pregnant forever says

      I just had a 9 1/2 lb baby and my delivery was totally normal- easy, if anything. It is my third, and the smallest was my second at 8.11.

      That said, my first was almost 10lbs and I tore pretty badly. This was not because of her weight but rather her enormous head and my epidural (which totally numbed me which was fab and I wouldn’t trade it, but it made controlled pushing harder as I felt *nothing*. With my other babies the epi wasn’t as strong so the delivery hurt more but the recovery was much easier).

      I used the boppy as a seat with my first, to take the pressure off the area with the stitches. Get all the pads you might want now, and save the receipts. Send DH to return what you don’t end up needing.

      Put water bottles everywhere- you will be thirsty and if you aren’t, you should be. Also carry around the biggest water bottle you can find.

      I’m a week post partum and have been dying for fresh fruit/veggies/nuts in a way my husband who came home with a bag of grapes only did not fully understand ;).

      Tell DH to rest up. Make sure there is coffee in the house. My god the coffee. I have two other munchkins though so perhaps you can sleep when baby sleeps more than I can…

      • Formerly pregnant forever says

        Oh, and re: diapers- there’s an app for that. It’s way easier for me than a notebook.

    • TK says

      My 9.8 kiddo need supplemental BM in a syringe so I woke up every 2 hours feed him them pump into bottles … subsequently, tons and tons of bottles needed to be washed. That plus the frequent hand washes for diaper changes meant hubs and I both had hands that were cracked and bleeding. Rubber gloves for at least the bottle washes would have helped, or 2 -3 times as many bottles so frequent washes weren’t necessary. Also very gentle but moisturizing and baby-friendly lotion. (We didn’t have any, so can’t recommend brands.)

      • Anonymous says

        You can also run the dishwasher. It’s the one time you don’t need to feel guilty about running non-environmentally friendly half loads.

      • rakma says

        I used California Baby unscented lotion for DD, and liked it so much I finished the bottle on myself! Would def recommend for something like the dry hands from constant washing–gentle and not to greasy, but did the job.

      • octagon says

        The Medela bags that sterilize bottle/pump parts in the microwave are also great for this. Someone gave me some and they were clutch.

    • Maddie Ross says

      It sounds like you plan to b-feed, if so do you have your pump yet? I would suggest that if you don’t, or if you have to wait until baby’s arrival to order one through your health insurance (which shouldn’t be the case anymore, but you never know), that you at least get a manual pump. I had horrible engorgement issues when my milk came in and my little one (healthy, no tongue/lip tie, no feeding issues) just couldn’t take care of it all for me in the beginning. I had to pump a bit just to keep from crying. In my situation though I had to send my poor husband to Target in a monsoon to try and buy a pump for $250. It was still worth every penny.

      • lucy stone says

        I do, thankfully! My insurance lets us order at 7 months, so I have a Spectra S1 and a hand-me-down Medela from a coworker.

    • Anonymous says

      The one thing that I used and NEVER see on baby supply lists is double stick clothing tape. I found disposable nursing pads to be scratchy and wouldn’t stick to my bra at night. The reusable ones also fell out. I had more than a few nights where I had my pajamas soaked with milk and couldn’t sleep. Double stick tape and reusable overnight nursing pads was amazing.

      Also, I spent several weekends making frozen meals for when the baby came home. The night after she was born, my husband left the freezer door open and everything got ruined. (He also left his briefcase in a cab so I really couldn’t be angry. )

  8. Anon says

    My son’s about 19 months. I just got back from a 1 1/2 week long business trip, and he is acting totally different! Basically, he really prefers my husband or my mom, and he will cry when they leave the room. If Daddy or Grandma are around, he won’t let me hold him. I’m trying not the take it personally, but it’s really buggin me. Also, I’ve been back almost a week, and it’s still not changed. I’m also getting really sensitive about it, like each time there is some little indication that he favors someone else, I feel really hurt and angry. To increase the guilt, he did get sick while I was gone, so Daddy and Grandma really stepped up to take care of him, which probably increased the bonding. I should feel grateful about that. Still, I guess I feel frustrated mainly because the situation doesn’t seem to be improving. Make me feel better, please.

    • Spirograph says

      Hugs. Both of my kids go through little phases where they have a strong preference for one parent over the other. We don’t have a grandma nearby, otherwise she’d probably be in the rotation too. It’s totally normal, and the pendulum will swing the other way soon, I promise! It probably was triggered a bit by your trip, but probably would have happened at some point regardless, so try not to feel guilty or take it personally (I know it’s hard). I like to tell myself that it’s good for my kids to love/feel safe with several adults; it frees me up to leave the house without feeling like a single point of failure for my kids’ comfort.

  9. Chillin' like Amoxicillin says

    It looks like I may need to take some antibiotics while still nursing. Seems to be safe and compatible but my crunchy friends are all making me freak out that this is going to “ruin the wonderful flora” of my baby’s stomach. Anyone want to make me feel better? The most ardent of my crunchy friends thinks I should switch to formula for the week I’ll be on meds & just pump and dump. I know she’s nuts but I am emotional and feeling bad.

    • Anons says

      If it would ease your mind, ask your doctor about an infant probiotic. We used Klaire labs brand, but a health food store near you would probably have several options.

    • Anonymous says

      She’s nuts. Baby will be fine. Eat Activia yoghurt while on antibiotic and take probiotics as soon as you’re done with the antibiotics. Take them for at least a week or so.

      Baby is much better of getting some antibiotics via breastmilk vs. being switched to formula. That’s completely unnecessary and will only be upsetting and confusing for baby. She’s nuts.

  10. mom anon says

    My hardwood floor is filthy. I was wiping up toddler food spills this weekend and found that the floor is dirtier than I thought. It is a darker wood color, so I never really noticed. Due to general life grind we never get around to doing the floors. I also hate our mop. I’m hoping buying something new will make it more enjoyable. Do you have any favorite mops or vacuums?

    • Anonymous says

      doesn’t roomba have a mop equivalent? that might work if you hate mopping

      • Meg Murry says

        OMG, I think I need this. My parents had the old mopping model (the scooba) for linoleum, but it was only so-so, and wouldn’t work for our hardwood floors. We have a very old roomba that we loved when we had carpet but is only so-so on our hardwood floors (it tends to fling dust bunnies to the edges of the room and then we vacuum up just the edges with a real vacuum – it’s good for dirt, but not so great for dust, lint and hair). But now that I see the newer Brava 300 that is like a combo Roomba/swiffer, I think I neeeeeeeeeeeeeed it.

    • MDMom says

      I use the Rubbermaid reveal mop and put bona cleaner in the dispenser. This is really great for spot cleaning after meals etc. I also have a steam mop which is awesome and can be used on hardwood (a long as it’s finished wood) but it makes the floor really dull. For serious cleaning you could do a steam mop followed by reveal/bona- it would still be easier than a regular mop and bucket. Or you could hire a cleaning lady to come every 2 weeks, which is what we ultimately did. I use the reveal in between on high traffic areas.

    • Anon in NYC says

      We have the Bona hardwood floor spray mop. I think it does a pretty good job. We vacuum first, and then go over everything with the mop. I think it does a pretty good job. Our floors get filthy on a weekly basis despite a no-shoes policy (dog, unfinished brick, toddler, normal wear and tear), and the Bona does a decent job of keeping it at bay.

    • Anon says

      Maybe there would be a feature on Sweethome that you can check out? This is a site that we all need to bookmark.

  11. weaning /lump says

    Let me preface this by saying I already called my doctor and am waiting for a call back, so I’m not asking here in place of medical advice.

    I weaned a week ago and noticed a big lump on the underside of one bre@st. It doesn’t feel like mastitis, which I had earlier on and I’m not sure if a hot compress and massage helped. Intellectually, I think it’s related to nursing/weaning, but I’m kind of terrified. Obviously will follow up and get it all cchecked out, but has this happened to anyone?

    • Anonymous says

      There was someone on here a few months ago dealing with this same issue, and I think it turned out to be a clogged duct…. Maybe others remember more details. Hugs!

    • Sarabeth says

      Sounds like a classic blocked duct – keep on with the hot compress and massage, and pump that side to help clear it (I’m assuming from your comment that you’ve recently weaned, so you don’t want to actually nurse). You don’t want it to become mastitis!

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