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This simple machine-washable blouse comes in a ton of different prints and colors; I’ve pictured the simple blue here to show how nicely it looks with a half-tuck if you want a bit of structure. This is the kind of thing I’d wear a ton with a cardigan or blazer on top in the winter, and by itself in the spring, fall, and, heck, probably the summer too. It was $88 but is now $49 at Nordstrom, and it’s available in regular and petite sizes. NYDJ Henley Blouse (L-2)Sales of note for 4.18.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 50% off full-price dresses, jackets & shoes; $30 off pants & skirts; extra 50% off sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything; extra 20% off purchase
- Eloquii – 50% off select styles; 60% off swim; up to 40% off everything else
- J.Crew – Mid-Season Sale: Extra 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off spring-to-summer styles
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Spring Mid-Season Sale: Up to 50% off 100s of styles
- Nordstrom: Free 2-day shipping for a limited time (eligible items)
- Talbots – Spring Sale: 40% off + extra 15% off all markdowns; 30% off new T by Talbots
- Zappos – 29,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Up to 70% off baby items; 50% off toddler & kid deals & 40% off everything else
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off spring faves; 25% off new arrivals; up to 30% off spring
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Up to 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off kids’ spring-to-summer styles
- Old Navy – 30% off your purchase; up to 75% off clearance
- Target – Car Seat Trade-In Event (ends 4/27); BOGO 25% off select skincare products; up to 40% off indoor furniture; up to 20% off laptops & printers
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
Instagram suggestions? says
Ladies – do you have favorite instagram accounts you follow? I discovered @attorneysonfleek through you guys and am hoping for more suggestions. I also enjoy @extrapetite and (my RL friend’s food account) @ababygrowsinbrooklyn. And @sophiethegiraffe_usa! I’d love to follow a few more related to organizing, cooking/baking, fashion, and parenting.
Anonymous says
@scarymommy @kidsaretheworst and, relatedly, @petsaretheworst are pretty funny. @sadanimalfacts also makes me laugh. @lunchboxdiaries is a blogger whose instagram I love.
more says
@dinneralovestory, @fashion_lawyer, @thefashionbrief, @voguemagazine, @pinterestyouaredrunk
for cool pictures- @natgeo, @historyphotographed, @nypl,
Instagram suggestions? says
Loving these suggestions!
Rdc says
Insta2yearold is cute, and averageparentproblems is funny but sometimes hits too close to home!
Midwest Mama says
Did anyone use the Wondfo OPKs and never get a positive? I’m wondering if the problem is that I drink a lot of water, which I’ve heard can dilute your urine too much so that you never get a positive.
EB0220 says
I drink a lot of water and I got positives…
Pigpen's Mama says
Are you tracking your temperature (see Taking Charge of Your Fertility)? I found that much more reliable than the OPKs (I used both the cheap Amazon ones and the Clearblue Monitor).
Midwest Mama says
Yep, I’ve read TCOYF and am temping and tracking CM. My cycles are inconsistent though, so it’s hard to pinpoint when I will O. I test a few times per day for several days but haven’t seen a really dark test line yet. If this cycle is unsuccessful I may try a different brand of OPK next month.
MDMom says
I remember that I rarely if ever got a strong positive. As in, my strongest would be both lines about the same intensity. Test line would always be thinner than control. I also drink a lot of water but was testing with fmu. I would also test morning and night when I thought I was close and sometimes strongest would be at night.
anon says
Test a couple times a day…I’d usually test at 10 AM and 3 PM and sometimes in the evening. Would usually get the positive reading at the 3 PM test.
lucy stone says
I think the wondfos are confusing. I splurged on the Clear Blue Easy ones. I think it was $40 for two months worth, which I could easily stretch to four or five months worth once I figured out when I usually ovulated.
Cdn lawyer says
I never got a positive… Until I was pregnant. Apparently opks also work as pregnancy tests!
Emmie says
With both kids, the best I ever got was faintly, arguably, maybe positive. And I got kids!
Anonymous says
I am just here to complain.
I finished breastfeeding in October and have somehow managed to gain almost ten pounds. I didn’t realize it was happening, but I guess I had been used to eating more calories for so long due to pregnancy and then a year of breastfeeding. I am so annoyed with myself. Also I have a terrible haircut that I can’t “fix” because it’s already too short. And my wardrobe is looking shabby and lacking in polish. But I don’t want to buy clothes because I am trying to save more money for a second child and my body is so strange post partum. I know I need to exercise but I just feel totally spent as it is.
I really thought it was reasonable to feel/look like my old self within a year, but that hasn’t happened. I am sure I will get out of this rut soon, but man, right now this sucks!
Midwest Mama says
I hear you. And to some extent, I think this happens to a lot of people this time of year. Weight gain from the holidays + cold weather + pale skin + unable to go outside = rut. Can you buy some (cheap) new accessories to spruce up your existing wardrobe? Scarfs are fun this time of year and can be really inexpensive. I’m sorry you’re feeling this way. It takes awhile to feel like “yourself” after pregnancy, labor/delivery, and breastfeeding.
NewMomAnon says
Me too!!! I gained 10 pounds too (on top of the extra 5-7 left from the pregnancy), and I’ve been trying to lose weight since early October but have lost only 4 pounds. And even if I fit back into my pre-pregnancy clothes, at this point they are all several years old and looking their age. So right now my wardrobe is all washable sheath dresses, sweaters and skirts from Lands End, which doesn’t quite match my “super tailored, clean cut, traditional” lawyer wardrobe ideals.
I keep thinking back to Jennifer Garner’s comments about her postpartum “baby bump,” and it makes me feel a little better that even someone with all the resources she has still experienced permanent body changes after having kids. It makes sense….but it definitely is not the situation I expected when I was pregnant. I remember my prenatal yoga instructor saying “9 months in, 9 months out” to describe how long it would take the baby weight to come off. Bullsh*t.
Me too says
I’ll join you in the complaining. I’m really struggling with my body image and those extra 10-15 post-baby pounds. Kiddo is over a year and I haven’t breastfed in over 9-10 months, so I feel like I’m that’s not an ‘excuse’ anymore.
Exercising is even more of a chore than it was before pregnancy, and I’ve gotten so ‘unfit’ that working out tires me out instead of giving me more energy. Eating well is hard, given time constraints and energy. And since it’s the middle of winter all I want to do is eat chocolate, carbs, and cheese. And I hit 40 last year.
I just signed up for Weight Watchers — I had good luck in the past tracking my eating and being motivated to work out for ‘food points’ — so maybe that’ll help again.
Anonymous says
Just signed up for WW too. This is my first time on a diet program though. I actually really like it because I’ve gotten some good ideas from other people at meetings and tracking has made me realize how much snacking I was doing – eating the applesauce or yoghurt that the kids didn’t finish, too much carby/sugary snacking. I find it really amazing how far I gotten from how I used to eat when I was in college and living healthier/watching my weight more. Having to relearn fruits and veggies as snack foods vs. chips and crackers and cheese has definitely made me grumpy though.
MonAnon4This says
Oh, yeah. I bet you’re looking super-cute, just so you know. But those hormones are a ton on your body & mind.
I know I forgot how to eat for 1 person as breastfeeding wound down, and that and stress and increased busyness led to quite the weight gain(s)! Be careful, start getting fit now – even if you’re not trying to *lose* weight (I don’t care how much you weigh, or what you look like) exercise will help you feel better and will help you get in shape for baby #2, and help you realize what’s going on with your body.
Anonymous says
I hear you on the being to exhausted to ‘work out’. I think start small on the exercise – park further away at work, take baby for a walk instead of playing inside on weekends etc.
EB0220 says
Yeah, I’m with you. I was back at pre-pregnancy weight around 6 months postpartum, but I was breastfeeding and had a slightly overactive thyroid. Those things really masked some bad eating! I’m up 15 lb and having trouble taking it off. It sucks! I bought a ton of new clothes and now they don’t fit. Argh. Glad (I guess?) to not be alone. I nursed until 15 months so it’s been a while since my baby was born.
FVNC says
So much commiseration. While bf’ing, I lost a ton of weight even though I ate like a teenage boy. I work primarily from home, and when I was bored I would wonder into the kitchen for a snack. I also ate a lot at meals. Those habits stuck with me after I stopped bf’ing, PLUS I began drinking again and taking the pill. I steadily gained 15 lbs in the next six months, which I have been able to lose with a combination of: HIIT workouts a few times per week, and cutting back on portion size, snacking and drinking. Essentially, unwinding the eating habits I’d developed and adding a small bit of exercise. Recently I have completely slacked off on exercise (I joke I’m on an exercise cleanse) so I sympathize on being able to find the time and motivation. Start small and just keep at it — you will be out of your rut soon.
Anonymous says
I’ve said it here before, but just joining the chorus of “me too.” I dropped all the baby weight, plus about 3-5 extra pounds, within about 12 weeks of delivering, and kept it off the entire time I nursed. In the year since I’ve stopped nursing I’ve gained back all the extra weight I lost, and about 5-7 extra pounds. While I still can wear most of my clothes from pre-baby (so work clothes), I can’t fit in any of my jeans and everything I’ve bought since baby is too small and tight. Grr. I struggle all the time with whether this is my “new normal” and I’m just stuck here, or whether I can really diet and exercise my way down again. So far, I’m honestly not sure.
JEB says
Yep, right there with you. I hit my pre-pregnancy weight around 6 months and have been slowly creeping up ever since (my daughter is 13 months now). I EP’d until a little over a year. I think my milk supply slowly was decreasing from 6-12 months, and I didn’t change my eating, which resulted in the weight gain. I kept hearing stories of people who had “10 pounds that just fell off” once they stopped nursing…clearly I’m not that person!
I just joined weight watchers as well. I don’t know if it’s for me…the number of points I have per day feels awfully restrictive, and I’m hungry all the time. If anything though, it’s opening my eyes to what I’ve been eating, and it’s pretty shocking! So I think there’s some value in that. I also can’t seem to make time to exercise…life is so exhausting being a working mother with a one-year-old, it feels impossible to add one more thing. So frustrating!
Edna Mazur says
I’m right there with you. Pre-pregnant Edna would be shocked at how frumpy and chunky mother of two under two Edna is. I try to tell myself that this is a short season in life. I do need to start doing a better job taking care of my own needs (sleep and exercise primarily) though.
I hope you can be gentle with yourself.
Anonymous says
I’m no one’s role model, but I just wanted to say: I have two kids and my youngest is now 2. I felt like I was barely hanging on for dear life until the baby hit age 2, at which point I suddenly felt more like myself. Eating right, dressing up, etc. – things which felt completely impossible when he was 1 — now feel doable. During the five years since my oldest was born, I would have laughed in your face if you suggested that I exercise or whatever. Now, it feels like a challenge, but an achievable one.
Obviously, if you can do better than I did, go for it! But if you feel like it’s just impossible to get it together on the eating/working out front, then know that I also felt like it was impossible — and now it feels more normal and do-able. I really think the hormones which allow you to take care of a baby make it really, really hard to do other things. It’s like my whole body was invested in caring for babies and doing my job and there just was not any space left over for anything else. But now there is. So there’s light at the end of the tunnel!
JJ says
I so agree with this. I felt the exact same way. And I certainly don’t “have it together” by any means. But I am able to get up and workout most mornings now. I would have laughed in your face if you had recommended that before my youngest was 2. Now? Early mornings suck, but I can make myself work out and dress well and eat better. It gets better!
NavyAttorney says
This; it magically became easier once kid was slightly able to do things for herself, and then I got back into paying careful attention to myself. Do go buy some workhorse clothes that fit – you’re saving for baby B but it will only be a couple hundred, and don’t get into the mommy trap of spending money and time on Everyone Else! They don’t have to be a la Nordstrom’s. You’ll feel better and it will assist you to remember to take care of yourself, and helps (a little) with the time/will to exercise. Also I prefer to exercise before the kids are up – I have more energy then, and you don’t get sidetracked with kid issues. This is what workout DVDs, jump ropes and treadmills are for!
As for it becoming easier, of course I then felt good enough to get preggers and start all over again!
TK says
Right there with you. I did recently cave and bought a handful of new clothing items that were flattering to my ‘new’ shape, even though money could (should?) have gone elsewhere (and I also hope to have another kid soon). Band-aid? Maybe. But when I had two hours to spend on “me,” I got more bang for my buck by just buying new clothes and having immediate satisfaction versus spending 2 hours working out then feeling bad for the next month because it was the only workout I could squeeze in, and with no visible results.
ELL says
Agreed!
I bought a couple cute outfits before I had shed all the weight postpartum. It was money well spent, particularly since I wore them again in the early months of pregnancy number 2!
Betty says
Just need to vent about my cr*ptastic part of my day yesterday: We are having nanny issues and looking for an au pair. When a colleague asked how it was going, I disclosed some of the details about our current nanny (doesn’t help with kids’ laundry, house is wrecked, does puzzles in the afternoon, etc.), looking for an au pair and my resulting exhaustion. Her response? The loathed: “I don’t know how you do it all. You have so much on your plate.” For some reason, it really struck a nerve. I responded that I don’t do it all, that I have “help” and that some stuff just doesn’t get done. Why do those type of comments always cut me to my core?
Anon says
If it makes you feel better, it was probably meant as a compliment. Many people wear their busyness as a mantle and for them ‘doing it all’ translates to being a superwoman.
NewMomAnon says
I wish we didn’t prize being super crazy busy all the time. I’m becoming more aware of feeling like I’m “borrowing” time from my to-do list when I stop to enjoy something, and need to get right back on task.
If someone said that to me, I think I would take it as a sympathetic nod, but it would also worry me that the person thinks I’m overcommitted and will probably avoid bringing me cool opportunities.
Clementine says
Don’t you love those land mine phrases? I agree that she probably meant it as a compliment/statement of awe, but I can see that’s not what you heard it as.
Be forgiving of yourself, if for no other reason than to teach your children to be kind to themselves as well.
Maddie Ross says
To me, there are two iterations of this phrase: I don’t know how you do it, as in I don’t know how you handle all of that and, fair or not, I think it’s meant to be a compliment. And I don’t know how you do it, as in I don’t know how you could possibly think that it all could get done/all is fair to your kids and your job. It’s all in the delivery and the latter is obviously not meant as a compliment.
Honestly though, I think it’s become something of a throw-away phrase unfortunately. It’s a pat response to a comment that’s no different than responding “fine, how are you,” even when you’re not.
Msj says
Leaving aside the second part of your comment, I agree that the au pair search in a huge time suck. I spent so much time looking through profiles and researching. Cultural Care has an exceptionally buggy website. Had better luck with APIA. They all have matching consultants on hand to help, but I found more comfortable searching through the databases on my own. Good luck!
Betty says
No kidding!! Plus after our current nanny debacle, I feel like I have lost all confidence in choosing a child care provider so I’m trying to be extra cautious.
Anonymous says
I think it’s a compliment. As in, “wow, you have all that on your plate AND you show up everyday with a smile on your face. I can barely manage to brush my teeth and I don’t have half the stuff going on that you do.”
Anonymous says
Go read the FB page ‘Man who has it all’ hopefully that will give you a few laughs and realize you are not alone in fighting these attitudes.
Also, sympathy on the nanny situation
Anonymous says
This was a reply to Betty ^^^
Samantha says
OMG Iam reading that and choking/guffawing at my desk at work!
Thank you, Thank you for introducing me to this!
Sample:
As men, we need to allow ourselves the grace and freedom to embrace our imperfections!
It is time to step up and say it is OKAY not to be perfect.
It is OKAY to ask your wife to iron her own tops.
It is OKAY to carve out time just for you. I call this ‘me time’
It is OKAY not to make your own condiments (salt, horseradish etc)
It is OKAY not to moisturise your elbows every day
It is OKAY to stop ironing duvet covers
It is OKAY to put on a small amount of weight
By allowing yourself to BE who you are, your absolutely WONDERFUL imperfect self, you free other dads to be and do the same!
Betty says
Thank you for this!! Part of my rant to my husband last night was asking how many times he gets these questions!!
Anonymous says
Favorite bath toys?
I always end up buying more-complicated-than-necessary toys that the kids don’t really play with or the water shooters that I hate because they shoot water (duh!) and they get moldy on the inside. The kids’ favorites are basic cups and boats, but I never seem to see those in stores (the ones we have were handed down). Apparently I need links.
Anonymous says
mula stack and nest cups at Ikea – they are like $4 – perfect for bath/beach or regular play – we have a few sets
Anonymous says
This doubles as a good cup for rinsing hair. http://www.munchkin.com/baby-bath-ball.html
We also have a set of the nesting boats by Munchkin. My son had a play shaving kit that he really liked, but the shaving cream is blue and stains a little on carpet so rinse well.
Those LED lightup ice cubes that you can buy for cocktails are fun and waterproof.
Pigpen's Mama says
Kiddo has something like this
http://www.amazon.com/Munchkin-Caterpillar-Spillers-Stacking-Cups/dp/B000V9A2S0
She has a blast just watching the water drain out of them.
Bath books are also a hit.
I tried some bath crayons, but she just wanted to eat them. Maybe in a few years!
Edna Mazur says
Spaghetti strainer and measuring cups.
NavyAttorney says
+1
Spirograph says
+1 to measuring cups… I never tried spaghetti strainer, but that’s going in the bath tonight!
We also have “water book” (gifted). I think it’s called Colin Car, but there are several. It’s weighted so it floats upright, and the kids like knocking it over and watching it pop up again.
Mini-basketball net that suction cups to the tiles
Foam letters and numbers that stick to the tile when wet. My 1 year old also loves to chew on the letters and carry them around the house. I found an N in my purse this morning.
NewMomAnon says
My kiddo’s bath tub currently holds a bunch of plastic straws (strays from water bottles, and some of the twisty ones), a few plastic cars that she would not play with except in the bath, some of those dreaded squirting toys, and a bunch of measuring cups and Tupperware containers (lost the lids, so might as well use them for something).
I was really tempted at the holidays to buy a set of colorful letters that stick to the walls of the bath tub. But there is barely room in the tub for my kiddo as it is, so I stopped myself.
Pogo says
First of all, I love this blouse and have a couple of similar ones from Target (pronounced Tar-jay, obviously).
Just poking my head back up after being off the board for awhile to say I’m going in for my first infertility appointment today, yay! (sarcasm)
I’m going to get the results from DH’s analysis, as well as discuss next steps with my OB. I assume she’ll run some blood tests at different points in my cycle to check hormones (I’ve already had AMH and TSH done). After that, from what I’ve read elsewhere, if Clomid or something is in the cards I should be getting a referral to a RE, correct?
I don’t anyone IRL who’s gone through the process, so kind of looking for what to expect. Is it super obnoxious of me to print out and bring my charts, or is that helpful?
Msj says
Been there but in my case, I went straight to the RE and skipped the OB as male infertility was identified early on.
I’d suggest making an appointment with an RE. It can take a while and you’ll want to find one you like (although they’re not typically warm and fuzzy). Maybe someone has a suggestion if you share your city?
They’ll likely do a physical exam, ultrasound and blood work. You’ll probably get a referral for another procedure where they look at your uterus and tubes (uncomfortable but bearable).
Your treatment totally depends on potential diagnosis. I went straight to the big guns IVF and got twins on the first cycle. Others may start with clomid or IUIs. It also depends on insurance. I paid out of pocket so there wasn’t any need to try out other things first.
The whole process sucked but there is hope on the other side. I remember taking lots of long angry runs which helped. I didn’t open up to many friends but did find it helped a lot to be able to speak with those I did. Therapy didn’t help nearly as much (ymmv). I also got regular acupuncture which can be shown to help and at the very least was relaxing.
Good luck and feel free to use this community as you feel comfortable. Many of us have been there.
Pogo says
Thanks for the reply – with our insurance, pretty much everything is covered, but that will end this year. I’m hoping we can get pregnant before then!!
I haven’t really opened up to any friends, and like I said, none of them have had issues – most were pregnant in the first few months, so I already feel like a failure. Plus all they say is “oh you need to relax!” or “have you tried having more s*x?”
buffybot says
Hey there — just wanted to say hi, since I think we were on this board at the same point when we first starting “trying.”
You’re not alone — I’m still sitting here, lurking, however many months after the fact (a year and a half, nearly?) with no luck. Not quite at the point of going to the doctor, since I switched jobs last year and took a few months “pause” (not going back on BC but just not actively trying to get the timing right). But that’s coming if things don’t sort themselves out by, say, March or April.
It’s pretty terrible, especially when friends are out there procreating like mad. Nothing but a big angry grit of the teeth at “have you tried having more s*x” — I managed to give myself a UTI this month with all our efforts, which was particularly annoying.
Best of luck to you (I refuse to use the phrase “baby dust,” eff that.)
Msj says
None of my friends had been through it but were just good listeners, which I valued.
Pogo says
Yes! I remember you :) I also switched jobs, which should presumably help because I was stressed beyond belief and working 15 hour days and travelling to Europe every six weeks with my old job….
and UTI, ugh. That sucks.
Pogo says
Not sure if anyone will check this late, but I wanted to say my appointment went really well! My ob referred me to a RE with great ratings, who has an office just 5 mins from my house. I’m not psyched to have to have medical intervention to have a baby, but I’m excited at the idea of actually having a baby for the first time in over a year!
After 6-8 months of trying I had basically given up and forbid myself from looking at baby stuff, thinking about baby names, etc…. now that I talked to the clinic, and they seem so great, I’m excited again – I might actually have a baby someday!
DCFSA Newbie says
2016 will be my first year with a dependent care FSA. I understand the process, but I’m wondering how families actually manage the withdrawals and reimbursements. I apologize in advance if this seems like a stupid question, but I don’t have anyone in real life to talk it out with.
I’m maxing it out, but it comes out as equal increments every two weeks. My daycare bills monthly, and the amount is much more than what comes out every month. We don’t have the flexibility in our budget to float an entire month’s daycare bill (so, no waiting ~3 months until the savings account has an entire monthly bill or doing all reimbursements at the end of the year).
I’m thinking the only/best thing to do is submit reimbursements every month, even though I’d only be reimbursed for part of the monthly bill. Is that possible? Does anyone do that or have an alternative?
Has anyone gotten their paycheck withdrawals set up to take out the entire monthly cost until maxed out? For us, that would be ~4 months. I like the idea of doing a few reimbursements and then being done.
Has anyone found this to be too much of a hassle? I feel like it’s going to be a lot of work for “just” $5k off taxable income.
mascot says
Ask HR if you can front load the withholdings. My employer doesn’t allow it. Do they have a chart that shows how much you save doing the FSA vs the tax credit? You can probably find a calculator online.
Monthly reimbursements won’t be bad. If you can’t swing less frequent ones, you don’t have many other options. You just need a monthly invoice (make sure it includeS the daycare name and EIN) from your daycare and whatever reimbursement form your company requires. I’d ask how long it takes to process the payments so you know when to expect it.
The DCFSA was much less hassle than my experience with healthcare flex spending because the invoicing and payment are so simple for daycare. It’s just the daycare invoice.
shortperson says
we had it set up to automatically send us a check every month in equal monthly increments. i didnt have to do anything after set up other than open an envelope and cash a check. of course this year DH and i both forgot to re-sign up so we’re missing the deduction ugh
anon says
My dependent care FSA will allow me to put in a claim for a month of daycare costs before I have that amount available – the claim is approved almost immediately, and then I get a first payment in the amount of my account balance, followed by incremental payments as money flows into the account until the claim is fully paid. So say I submit a claim for $2000, I have a $500 balance in the account, and I accumulate $250 every two weeks. I’ll get an immediate payment of $500, and then every two weeks the FSA will send me a check for $250 until I have received the full $2000 – no need to re-submit the claim.
DCFSA Newbie says
That would be a dream! I’ll see if that’s an option for us.
Meg Murry says
That’s how mine worked as well – it would show a list of paid claims, and a list of “approved, pending funding” claims or somethinig like that and then a few days after each payday that amount would be direct deposited back into my account.
So basically you submit the first few receipts of the year until you hit $5000 (with 2 kids I ususally hit that by April) and then wait for the reimbursements.
My daycare receipts were kind of messy and unclear, so the FSA also had a form we could fill out and have daycare sign. I would fill them out electronically and email them to the daycare admin who would sign and scan back to me.
The only place where it got a little tricky was that even though we paid, say January 2nd for Jan 1st-30th, the FSA reimbursement form wasn’t valid until the service was”paid for and provided” – so I had to wait until Feb 1st to get daycare to sign the January paperwork, etc.
So basically I had to front load January and February, and then I started getting money back in mid February.
Meg Murry says
FYI, this form is what I used instead of the daycare receipts since the receipts didn’t have all the info like the EIN. You could probably replicate something similar and have daycare sign that.
http://www.aetna.com/data/forms_library/dependent_care_reimb.pdf
DCFSA Newbie says
Thank you!
CPA Lady says
I have the entire $5k deducted from my paycheck evenly throughout the year and do reimbursements every 6 months for the partial amount. It may not be as much of a hassle as you think. For me, it’s a one page form that I fax in to the FSA people, but the info on the form doesn’t change much so it’s not like I have to fill the entire thing out over and over. If you want to do it every month, just set a calendar reminder. If you’re in a high income level it may not make a huge difference to have a taxable income level that’s 5k lower, but it may make a difference more than you’d think if you’re close to being in a lower tax bracket or close to phase out limits for something like being able to contribute to a Roth, etc.
Claudette says
You shouldn’t need to worry about the mismatch in amounts or time periods. Just submit a claim every time you get a bill, which in your case is monthly, until you’ve submitted $5000 worth of claims. (If your claim is larger than your total contributions to date, the system may tell you that part of your claim has been denied, but you’ll still get your reimbursements as your contributions catch up.) After you’ve submitted $5000 worth of claims, that’s all you have to do — your contributions and reimbursements should continue automatically through the end of 2016.
This is based on my experience with the FSA offered by the federal government, but I assume they all work this way. Don’t feel stupid, either — it took a few cycles of seeing everything go in and out before I really understood how it worked.
Pogo says
I’m surprised this doesn’t work the way health FSAs do – in that if you max it out, the max is available to you immediately rather than only after you’ve technically contributed it. Does anyone know why it’s different?
Meg Murry says
because why could anything government regulated and tax related be easy?
Honestly, I think part of it is because health FSAs that are front loaded are a risk for the company – if someone quits after using the full health FSA before it’s funded, the company eats that money. Companies are used to paying for employees health costs – but not daycare.
TBK says
Sooooo potty training. Still really early stages of thinking about it — kids will be 2 in March and I’m thinking we’ll do it this summer. They’ll (hopefully) start preschool in the fall and in December their au pair will be leaving and we’ll be getting someone new. So I’d like to do it when things are nice and calm in the summer. I realize this is way early but I’m frankly terrified of potty training twin boys. (I assume many things/people/pets will wind up peed on. Hopefully some pee will wind up in the potties.) I ordered the “Oh Cr*p” book and plan to start there. But do potty books/videos for the kids help? My kids adore books and so I’m wondering if Once Upon a Potty is actually a good idea. (Still getting over the idea of a book about going to the bathroom, but hey if you’re 2 years old and have only ever gone in a diaper, you might need help with the idea.)
I’m also wondering if anyone knows of any twin-specific resources. I’m already planning to have two potties on every floor. And I’m realizing that they probably spend a lot less time in the bathroom with one of us than a non-twin would. I mean, if I had just one kid, when I had to go, I’d probably take him into the bathroom with me, right? But with two, I’ve always just secured them somewhere (rock n play, high chair, swing — depending on how old they were) and then gone on my own. They only really go with me when we’re out and about and I bring them in in their stroller. So they just might need more help understanding what goes on with a toilet. Plus they almost never wash their hands in the sink now. It would be too hard to coral one while lifting up the other. So mostly their hands are washed with lots of baby wipes. (These are the things that make having twins different in ways you’d never think of until you have them.)
Anonymous says
No suggestions – but I do want to encourage you to wait until they’re really ready. Our pediatrician has really advised that we not push it at all. As a very general rule, kids who potty train early just have more accidents; kids who potty train when they are ready potty train easily and then are pretty much good to go. Your boys may be ready this summer and that would be great! But if it’s hard, don’t worry about it. Anecdotally, 2 seems still on the young side.
TBK says
I’ve heard a lot of advice that 20-30 months is the ideal time. Not sure if that’s true or not.
mascot says
IME, he got interested around 22-23 months. Wasn’t trained until 7-8 months later, but once ready he figured out fast in about a week without any bootcamps or stuff. Be prepared that it can take a while.
JJ says
For boys, 2 seems youngish for my son and the kids in his classes. We had our oldest pretty reliably potty trained on #1 by the time he was 2.5. It was a couple weeks shy of his 3rd birthday before we got him trained to reliably go #2 on the potty. We didn’t push it at all and just let him signal when he was ready.
My youngest is in the middle of training at day care right now. He was 2 in August and yesterday was the first day he used the potty all day.
mascot says
Tips from training a singleton boy: 2 is young, but they will probably start to show interest around then. The regular toilet seats that have the inserts built in (go to home depot to find them) were easier than the mini potties because he liked to play with all the potty parts. Teach them to sit first. They have all their lives to stand. We had a variety of books because the potty is fun! and big kid! I think we used mini marshmallows for rewards for a while.
Daycare classes at that age spend a lot of time in the bathroom both from a kid wrangling and also a peer influence. Maybe keep some toys/books in there for the non-pottying child. Small stools for handwashing and pump soap at the sinks. They catch on fast.
Momto5boys says
I’ve potty trained 4 boys, all were 3-3.5 years old, and all but one took between 3 days 2 weeks (the other one was afraid to go #2 and that part dragged on for way too long). Potty training sucks, and I’m just not at all interested in potty training for months on end, so I wait until they’re both interested and old enough to totally get it in a matter of days or a few weeks at most. YMMV, but I think people who start at 2.5 sometimes finish at 3, and they could have just waited and done it all in 2 weeks.
TBK says
Point taken. I honestly am not that eager to potty train. I remember being 4 or 5 years old and having to go to the bathroom NOW and my mom rushing around a store trying to find a place for me to pee. Diapers are so much more convenient!
kc esq says
I have 2 1/2 year old boy twins. I am in no rush to potty train. They really don’t care yet and we don’t have any pressure from day care to train yet. I think at this point, being trained would = their caregivers nagging them to sit on the potty. And accidents. A relative who has teenage twin boys says she successfully waited until they were almost 3 and then did a long weekend of potty training (including overnight), and then they were trained forever. I am aiming for something like that when the time comes. But I have heard good things about the Elmo potty video.
Anonymous says
I’ve never potty trained twins, but I’ve trained a couple of kids (girls). What I would do:
– Definitely have two potty seats on each level, maybe more if your house is large. I recommend Ikea seats: I like the one-piece molded design for easy clean up and simplicity of use, kids like the colors, and you’ll like the price if you’re buying multiples. For very smaller kids, the Bjorn little potty was a better fit but pricier.
– I really do think it’s helpful to see others using a toilet. Since they aren’t in daycare, I’d make an effort to bring them to the bathroom with you a couple of times in the weeks before you plan to start. You could try bringing them one at a time, although I’ve certainly peed with a complete entourage of various ages in the room with me on many occasions. You certainly don’t have to do it every time for the next six months.
– Continue to plan to try this summer for the time being. There’s no loss in trying. Kids are ready at different ages, but so are parents :) I find some parents are happier changing diapers than remembering to take little ones to the bathroom (the average two year old will not go on their own), accommodating urgent potty needs, and cleaning up the inevitable accident. I’ve always been happier to deal with the occasional accident etc and PT’d ‘early’ (by current standards), but I understand why other parents prefer to wait until children are more independent and reliable.
NewMomAnon says
For hand washing – get the spout extenders. I got the Prince Lionheart ones (2 for $12? Amazon, of course), and then a step stool. My daughter LOVES to wash her hands. Bonus if you can fit two stools in front of your sink so both kids can wash at the same time (or if you have two sinks).
I hear what others are saying about waiting for potty training, but I think it has been helpful to have a potty for my daughter to explore since she was teeny, and it gives her somewhere to be when I’m using the potty (other than my lap, which is not ideal). So I say – get a potty, let them play with it with no real agenda.
When picking out a potty, try really hard to find one that doesn’t have a “splash guard” (i.e., a higher section right in the middle of the front). It’s hard for my daughter to position herself with one leg on each side of the splash guard, and it’s uncomfortable if she lands awkwardly. Also look for something that has enough weight so it won’t skitter around your bathroom floor if kiddo doesn’t hit it exactly right. I would recommend having them use a seat on top of the potty, but then they would have to take turns, which sounds like a bunch of awful for you.
Meg Murry says
except with boys, the “splash guard” might be necessary- I actually vote for a high splash guard instead of a tiny bump that does nothing.
+1 to ikea one piece little potties. Bigger +1 to the built in seats for toilets there is a smaller part built in for long term, but for twins I think you need to have 2 potties always available in the same room until they get older.
I think you can start “potty readiness” – reading books about going potty, making sitting on the potties part of the routine before bathtime, without getting hard core into actual “training” for quite a while
This is the kind of seat I’m talking about: http://www.homedepot.com/p/BEMIS-NextStep-Children-s-Round-Closed-Front-Toilet-Seat-in-White-583SLOWA-000/206113101
Claudette says
Any advice on (partial) night weaning for a very small one-year-old?
Our daughter is turning one this month but is still waking up to nurse two or three times a night. Her weight has always been at the very bottom of the growth chart and she nurses really well at night, so I’m not interested in trying to cut her off entirely, but I do want to try to get down to just one nighttime feeding. (At her nine-month checkup, the pediatrician said she should be able, even at her size then, to sleep for six hours at a stretch.) Does anyone have night weaning tips / success stories / resources to share?
Anonymous says
I used to do a dream feed before I went to bed around midnight. It meant instead of feeding at 8pm – 2am – 6am, I was able to push the schedule to 8pm, 12am, 6am (ish sometimes it was 5:30).
Because baby was sleepy I often did compressions so she got more milk with less effort.
Meg Murry says
+1 to doing a dreamfeed, and then any other time she wakes up you send in Daddy instead of you, possibly with a bottle or sippy of water, or just with cuddles.
Stacey says
Does anyone use an online tracker for kids allowances? I’m wanting to start an allowance for my almost 5 year old, and like the save, spend, give models. But I never have use cash and an online tracker/app/bank sounds useful. I also like the idea of paying interest on the savings. I like the look of the First Kid Bank website, but wondering if anyone has tried anything like that or has one to recommend.
Meg Murry says
We’ve played around with various systems with my now 8 year old.
If you want to do something virtual, a Google Sheets checkbook register is actually the easiest way to go since it’s always available on your phone. That’s what we used for a while when my son was earning money by doing chores in small increments – we’d list it all there ($0.25 for this, $0.50 for that, etc) and leave it there until I gave him cash or bought him something.
Honestly, nothing teaches kids about money though than actually counting out and handing over cold hard cash for a purchase. Could you go to the bank and get $50 or $100 in fives and ones and keep it in your sock drawer for allowance day? You’ll also need to set him up with a wallet or change jar(s) or you’ll find the money right back in your laundry or scattered under his bed.
Also, FYI – 5 is prime age for the tooth fairy, so you’ll need some kind of cash on hand or reward for that. My husband got smart and got a roll of dollar coins from the bank that live in his underwear drawer – they are gold and shiny, therefore special, but not a crazy amount of money to leave from the tooth fairy.
Stacey says
These are good ideas. I’ve thought about getting a stack on $1s from the bank, but I know we will end up in Target wanting something and I won’t know how much money is available. But maybe online tracking is too developmently complicated for 5.
Love the tooth fairy idea!
Meg Murry says
Actually, delayed gratification isn’t such a bad thing. “you want that toy from Target? Ok, it’s $15. Lets go home and count your allowance and if you have enough and still want it you can bring your wallet and buy it next weekend”
Half the time my son didn’t actually want it next weekend.
Anonymous says
Ditto Meg Murry on literally everything. Physical money is fun and tangible. Delaying purchases are a good idea (we have, in rare circumstances, loaned her money in the moment and had her give us money out of her stash when we got home). Use a jar for storing money.
As far as developmentally appropriate, my anecdata: My 6 year old could understand the virtual money she uses in an app.
NavyAttorney says
Agreed on the online – kid just doesn’t get it. Much like when we were little we didn’t understand that checks needed money in the bank to back it. If we see something in Target I tell her we’ll come back – I mean, it’s not like you’ll never be in Target again! The delayed gratification works98% of the time.
ELL says
Thanks, everyone, for all the suggestions about how to keep my son dry overnight. I have lots to try and will report back.