CorporetteMoms

Updated: Nov 1, 2018 40 Comments · by

Nursing Tuesday: Nursing Top

Nursing· Recent Recs

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A red Nursing TopOoh: this looks like a great nursing top from H&M. I like that in addition to the wrap there’s a bit of fabric on top that keeps you feeling covered. It’s available in red (pictured), as well as a lovely black melange and a powder beige; all shirts are $24 and available in XS-XL. It’s machine washable too. MAMA Nursing Top (L-2)

Sales of note for 9.10.24

(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)

Kid/Family Sales

  • Carter’s – Birthday sale, 40-50% off & extra 20% off select styles
  • Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off all baby; up to 40% off all Halloween
  • J.Crew Crewcuts – Extra 30% off sale styles
  • Old Navy – 40% off everything
  • Target – BOGO 25% off select haircare, up to 25% off floor care items; up to 30% off indoor furniture up to 20% off TVs

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Comments

  1. Meryl says

    A close friend of mine has started to shave her 4yo’s legs and arms for hair. I am struggling to find the best way to bring this up with her without sounding too preachy. She has always struggled with body image like most of us to a certain degree but she’s always had this hang-up about body hair. Now I see that she’s redirecting some of this to her daughter where it really isn’t warranted. Should I mind my own business or try to talk to her about it?

    • Anonymous says

      ugh, what? If this were me and my friend, i’d approach this not as a “you really shouldn’t be doing this,” but rather, “you know, my mom did XYZ similar thing to me when I was little and it was just awful and here’s why, what does kid’s dr think about this?”

      I don’t know how bad the kid’s body hair actually is– is she (assuming 4yo is a girl) a light skinned girl with jet dark think body hair? Is she being teased? Even then, I’d think a better approach is a lightening cream vs shaving!

      but also, as a mom, i’d be peeved if someone started to give me their unsolicited opinions on, say, my meal choices for my toddler.

    • Spirograph says

      I’m struggling to imagine a 4 year old sitting still and being cooperative long enough to do this safely.

      Do you know she’s shaving because you saw the hairless legs and arms, or because the mom mentioned it? If she actually mentions it, an incredulous “really? That seems difficult, why did you decide to do it?” would probably come across as honest, vs. starting the conversation yourself, which would almost certainly put her on the defensive. Or, if the daughter mentioned it to you, and you could legitimately say, “hey, your daughter said you’re shaving her arms and legs, she seemed ____ about it,” that could work.

      Otherwise, I think you have to let it go, or decide it’s important enough to you to say something that you’re willing to risk angering your friend.

    • Meg Murry says

      If she’s always had a hang up about body hair, it is possibly because her own mother started shaving her at age 4? Maybe the friend just doesn’t realize how very atypical this is?

      I think what you do about it depends very much as to how good a friend this is. Your very best friend in the entire world? A sit down intervention. A person you met in the past few years that you have coffee with every few weeks? Probably not worth pushing.

  2. Kids books says

    Any recommendations for favorite kids books, esp ones that will introduce kids to other cultures? I’m soon to deliver my first and was looking at some of my old favorites and was a bit horrified by some of the racism, sexism, etc (albeit sometimes subtle) that I see in some kids books reading them as an adult. Would love to have a collection of books that’s not culturally narrow. I’m white American. We speak Spanish as well as English, so books in either language work.

    • Anonymous says

      These won’t introduce your child to other cultures — but anything by Sandra Boynton is generally excellent for the infant/toddler set.

    • CHL says

      Cordoroy is a little old fashioned but includes the idea of a happy, lower-income, non-white home (unfortunately a little rare in kids books). Stellaluna is also a good book about differences (of the bat/bird variety, but I think it still counts:)

      • Anonymous says

        These made me smile. I don’t think we have Stellaluna yet, now I need to go get it.

        The Little Engine That Could is a girl! I didn’t remember, but it made me happy to see a “female” train in such a positive role.

        Unfortunately, I can’t think of any cross-cultural examples for young children off the top of my head; we’re in a vehicles phase right now with books, and before that it was mostly animals/farms/Dr Seuss. However, I’d check out the kids’ section of your local library, especially if you live in a diverse area. Ours has a couple shelves dedicated specifically to English language books featuring different cultures, which run the ethnic, religious, and geographic gamut. I was really impressed.

      • Spirograph says

        I remember this book from when I was a kid! Good choice. I’ll have to look for it to add to our collection.

    • Msj says

      My kids love the “it’s okay to be different” book by Todd Parr. Not subtle, but cute and fun to read.

    • Philanthropy Girl says

      My memory is Ezra Jack Keats books (like Corduroy, mentioned above) also feature non-white families. Whistle for Willie and The Snowy Day are the two that come to mind.

      Oxfam has a lovely alphabet book called W is for World – my LO has always loved the pictures (real photographs), and it shows a variety of cultures, but is designed to help children draw connections between similarities between cultures. I don’t know if it’s still in print, but copies are available on the Amazon through third parties.

      Patricia Pollacco is well-known for culturally diverse stories – although probably more appropriate for early grade school than toddlers. Infants will listen to anything just to hear your voice! Her books feature a wide range of cultures and her stories and artwork are lovely. I’m a fan of Just Plain Fancy, Chicken Sunday, Rechenka’s Eggs, and Mrs. Katz and Tush.

      Babies love books with faces, and most books of that nature today feature culturally diverse children.

      Eric Carle books are beautiful, and while they are often focused on animals, you’ll find the children represented in his artwork to appear culturally diverse.

      I just borrowed a lovely book from the library called Here Are My Hands – the focus is body parts and movement, but the artwork features children of different nationalities.

      Jan Brett also has some lovely books, and her artwork is influenced by culture, although primarily about animals. The Umbrella, The Three Little Dassies, The Mitten, and The Hat have all been popular with my LO and my nephew. The Umbrella has some Spanish in it, and our bilingual house has enjoyed that aspect of it.

      Hope that helps!

      • Pogo says

        I’d forgotten The Snowy Day! I loved that book so much. I can imagine the drawings in it right now.

        I also loved Swimmy (all the fish band together to help the black fish who is different), and Mike Mulligan and the Steam Shovel & Katy and the Big Snow by Virginia Lee Burton – like the Little Engine that Could, both construction vehicles are women :)

    • Anon says

      Little Humans has great pictures of real kids (by the Humans of New York crew). It’s not really an introduction to cultures but has fabulous diversity in the photos. My son can’t get enough of it.

    • K. says

      Virginia Burton books have great female protagonists! They are also old and I like the vintage feel of them There’s Katie the snow plow that saves the town, the little house that has a beautiful history, and Mike Mulligan and his trusty steam shovel Mary Ann who is so strong she can dig a foundation for a town hall in just one day!! I especially love that Burton uses traditionally male fields of work and/or objects and makes them strong females who can do anything.

      My daughter has also from a very young age (we’re talking 7 months! But she is good with paper books, so that helps) loved looking at Children Just Like Me: A Unique Celebration of Children Around the World. We also just got Whoever You Are by Mem Fox–it’s a board book celebrating diversity and my daughter likes it (currently 19 months). The board book Global Babies is also cool–and babies love seeing other babies.

      I second the Eric Carlisle suggestion too. Papa Can You Get the Moon for me is especially great with the main character Monica and her dad.

      You are right though–apparently in 2013 70% of protagonists in children’s books were male and I’m sure racially imbalanced as well. Fortunately there are a ton of great children books out there and you can definitely find some great ones to balance this out!

    • Anonymous says

      Molly Bang, Ten Nine Eight
      Vera B. Williams, A Chair for My Mother

    • Anonymous says

      Ten Little Fingers and Ten Little Toes has lots of gorgeous illustrations of babies of different backgrounds. Also love Giraffes Can’t Dance.

    • GeorgiaMom says

      The library is a great resource for this, actually! Lots of lists on bookmarks and online about books for different age groups featuring non-majority characters, strong girls, etc.

      Get on the email list or get in the habit of checking literacy groups – here in Atlanta we have Georgia Center for the Book which promotes a lot of diversity. There’s Facebook groups for different parenting affinities, different media focus, whatever you want! Goodreads has some groups, too.

      Sorry this isn’t a recommendation list, it’s more of a how-to-do-it-yourself.

  3. CHJ says

    Some of our favorites that include diversity (although sometimes the diversity is diverse animals…):

    Snail and the Whale
    Room on the Broom
    Three Ninja Pigs
    Airport (Priddy Books)

  4. Child care in DC/NoVA says

    I’m trying to help a friend sort out childcare in the DC/Falls Church area and was hoping some of you brilliant ladies could weigh in: She and her husband both work in DC, and they need to figure out child care for their 2.5 month old baby that can start in 3-5 weeks (!!). They’re considering au pair and nanny options, but budget will probably be an impediment – anyone want to chime in with advice and experience? I don’t have kids so I’m not sure where to start, but this is the one thing they said they could really use my help with. Thanks in advance! :)

    • Anon says

      From my experience, she is likely going to have trouble finding a daycare on such short notice. She may want to post on her local listserve (not sure about Falls Church, but Northern Arlington has an active one) to see if anyone has intel about an opening in an in-home daycare. She should get on all the waiting lists in order to get a spot sometime in the future. If I were her, I would just focus on getting a nanny for now. There seems to be a serious shortage of daycare spots in this area, especially for infants.

    • Carrie M says

      We did an in-home daycare in Arlington. The County has strict regulations and regularly checks their care providers. Three-five weeks is actually not too bad in Arlington – openings pop up all the time, in my experience. We went to the county website, downloaded the list of providers (which is by zip code), zeroed in on the ones that would be convenient for us to get to, and just started calling down the list. We probably visited 10 before we chose one. They’re definitely not all equal in quality. Some were just older women sitting on the couch, letting kids play while the TV was on (not my ideal). Others have more structure, a separate play area from the house, etc. I’d advise your friend to call up as many as possible and visit them.

      An in-home was the cheapest option we found, though it was close to the cost of a nanny share. But I’d guess it might take longer to find the right fit with a nanny plus share family.

      Another short term option is a nanny through an agency, like White House nannies. It’s expensive, but could help them fill the gap if needed.

      Good luck!

    • anon says

      A home daycare, for sure. We found ours (admittedly in Maryland) just a few weeks before we needed it. There was a state registry, which might also exist in Va – or maybe a county one. We only visited two because the first was so amazing!

  5. newmom says

    anyone have a favorite backpack they use as a diaper bag? I’m looking for something we can take on a day hike that will be comfortable with some formula bottles and water bottle and snacks for adults.

    • Philanthropy Girl says

      Don’t know if this helps. We have an Eddie Bauer backpack we’ve used as a diaper bag, and an Eddie Bauer diaper bag. They’re super durable, seem to have pockets in all the right places, and the straps on the backpack are very comfortable.

      When I was trying to Google the backpack I have, I found Eddie Bauer has a backpack diaper bag. If I were in the market, it would be my first choice, based on my experiences with the two items I do own.

    • Clementine says

      We have a Fjallraven Kanken as our ‘normal’ diaper bag and I love it, although I wouldn’t recommend it for your purposes. If you’re just looking for a diaper bag though, I love this one. I don’t do well with lots of pockets- things get lost- I prefer to use ziploc bags or wet bags to organize things and be able to see everything once I open it.

      I do have a daypack that i absolutely love love love for everything that would probably be great for your purposes. It’s the Osprey Talon 22. It is also currently doubling as my breast pump bag and it fits my Medela pump, the cooler with bottles, a ziplock full of pump parts, my wallet, and my makeup bag at least. You can get them on Amazon, but I think I got mine at REI with some kind of a coupon, so that’s an option too.

  6. NewMomAnon says

    It’s way too early for me to be worried about this, but I’m going to worry anyway – one of the preschool classrooms at my daycare has a raised loft area. A few years ago, there was an incident on the raised loft that resulted in a teacher being fired and allegations of child abuse that were reported to the state. Within the last couple weeks, the state issued another citation to the school regarding lack of supervision of two children on the raised loft area. The state also recommended that the school follow through with a change to secure that area which the school proposed a year ago, but hasn’t done.

    My kiddo is still in toddlers, but this is the next classroom she would be in….and it worries me. The teachers have stayed fairly constant in the problem classroom, and I think I like them, but how does the school not correct something like that even after two major state investigations? I wouldn’t pull her out right now because we love (love love love) the toddler teachers, but this makes me question whether she’ll be attending the preschool.

    • Anonymous says

      Ask the director, and ask now. Tell them you are concerned and considering pulling your kid. If you don’t like the answer, or don’t believe it, start shopping.

    • anne-on says

      We pulled my son out of a preschool room simply because the 3 and 4 yr olds were together and there were more than a few incidents of the older kids picking on the littler kids that I didn’t see being appropriately corrected (teasing about potty accidents, pushing, and more language than I wanted my kid picking up). If it was a safety issue like this one I’d be gone in a flash.

  7. Family Size Disagreement says

    Seeking advice… I am 36, have a 3 year old daughter, and would love to have one more child soon. The problem my husband is decidedly in the “one and done” camp. I had a difficult delivery and these early years have been hard on him- he is a great father, but has a demanding job and gets very stressed by parenting and all that it entails. I work full-time as an academic, but recently got tenure and will have considerable time/flexibility to devote to parenting.

    He has refused couples counseling and won’t talk to me about the topic of another child. I recently wrote him a letter to simply start a conversation about the topic so that we can move forward. Now he is barely speaking to me and is basically shut down. I don’t know how to proceed. I think he is processing his feelings, but I am just so sad by the entire situation. Advice?

    • NewMomAnon says

      Get yourself some solo therapy, start monitoring your finances, and get recommendations for a good divorce attorney in your area? If husband won’t talk about it and isn’t talking to you at all, there is something brewing and all you can do is be prepared if that something is very bad.

      Why is he refusing couples counseling? Is it that he doesn’t want to talk with you at all? Or does he just think counseling is dumb (my experience with couples counseling was not positive, so I could understand that position). Would he be willing to discuss the relationship and your future plans at all, or maybe read some relationship books and talk about them during “date” nights or something? If the answer to all of that is no, then he may already be gone….

      • Anonymous says

        If he is generally acting very stressed out, can’t handle the pressure of parenting, and won’t talk at all, another possibility is that he might be depressed.

        • NewMomAnon says

          Yes, I fully agree. The problem with depression (or anxiety) is that if the person shuts down completely, there isn’t anything a spouse can do to reach them or “pull them out of it.” So even if the issue is “just” depression, the outcome may be the same as someone who makes a rational, healthy decision to step away from a relationship. That’s why I said that if he is completely shutting her out, he may be gone.

    • Spirograph says

      Hugs to you; this is a tough spot to be in. Maybe say you want to give him time to think, and plan to discuss this at X date in the near future. Make an in-home date night out of it with some wine, and see what he’s thinking. Plan to just listen, since you’ve presumably laid out your position in the letter. If you had a rough delivery and since some OBs would consider this a “high risk” pregnancy because of your age, he may be scared for your health in addition to the demands on your relationship/his career of another child. The tone his objection takes will probably tell you a lot. If he is really shut down on this and everything else, though, I have to agree with NewMomAnon.

    • mascot says

      I think couples counseling may be an option for repairing any damage in the relationship or solo counseling may help you with the closure process of not having any more children. But, I don’t think couples counseling should be used to badger him to change his mind. He’s got some valid reasons to not want any more children and over 3 years, he’s probably had plenty of time to soul search about what he wants as a parent. He’s not able to handle more than what he already has on his plate and deep down he likely feels bad that he can’t dig deep and give you this.
      I think the decision to be done with having kids, whether its after 1 or 10, is just hard. It took me some time to work through my thoughts. It’s a door that you are closing, by your mid-30s, you don’t feel like you can just change your mind in 10 years and start over again, etc. Even though we are solidly one and done, there are still moments where we are both a little wistful. So be gentle with yourself and your husband.

  8. Anonymous says

    No to wine with this discussion. Inhibitions may be lowered and things may be said that are impossible to un-say.

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