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Updated: Nov 1, 2018 52 Comments · by

Nursing Tuesday: Nursing Shift Dress with Asymmetric Overlay

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A woman wearing a Nursing Shift Dress with Asymmetric OverlayThis dress isn’t for everyone, I’ll grant you, but I’d take a chance on it — I like the high neckline, the fact that it works both for maternity and nursing. Also — am I the only one who hates “nursing” tops that leave, for example, huge slits in your shirt? I like that this one has you covered, and keeps you covered from both the top and the bottom when you’re nursing. It’s $56 at ASOS. ASOS Maternity NURSING Shift Dress With Asymmetric Overlay (L-2)

Sales of note for 9.10.24

(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)

Kid/Family Sales

  • Carter’s – Birthday sale, 40-50% off & extra 20% off select styles
  • Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off all baby; up to 40% off all Halloween
  • J.Crew Crewcuts – Extra 30% off sale styles
  • Old Navy – 40% off everything
  • Target – BOGO 25% off select haircare, up to 25% off floor care items; up to 30% off indoor furniture up to 20% off TVs

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Comments

  1. EB0220 says

    “Mommy cards” (aka business cards with personal contact info and kids names/ages): Weird or useful? We are about to move to a new daycare and neighborhood so I’m thinking about getting some. Or is it silly and I should just use my regular work business cards?

    • Meg Murry says

      For a hybrid – I printed out my personal contact info on mailing address labels (Avery 5160, my old friend) and keep them in my wallet with my business cards – then I can either stick it to the back of my business cards or hand over just the label (still stuck to the backing, of course). I don’t have the kids names and ages on there, but I’ve been known to hand write “Kiddo’s mom” underneath the label – which I would recommend if you and your kids have different last names.

      The label is also convenient for filling out forms for school, doctors offices, etc if you can find a spot to stick it on the forms.

  2. Anon for this says

    Ladies, hug your families today.

    I just found out that a friend of mine, an attorney who has been married for five years and has a three month old daughter, discovered that her husband had commit suicide yesterday. By all accounts, they had a happy, amazing life. It just goes to show that you never know what demons someone is wrestling with behind closed doors. I cannot even imagine what my friend is going through, and how her life has changed so drastically in the blink of an eye.

    • anon in nyc says

      Oh my goodness. Are you in Dallas? I think we have the same friend….totally devastating.

      • Anon for this says

        I am in Dallas. I’m not surprised you know her, as well – she is the most amazing, giving, selfless person and I know the entire city of Dallas is thinking of her today. I can’t think of anything but her today and, relatedly, how helpless I feel in relieving her pain.

    • PregAnon says

      That’s terrible. The predecessor to the job I have now committed suicide, and I know my department has never really recovered. I can’t imagine what she is going through right now. I’m so sorry :(

  3. RDC says

    Ok ladies, logistical challenge today: how do you handle getting an infant onto a flight (and asleep) if the flight leaves at midnight? (Besides not booking said flight … Unfortunately our initial flight was canceled and this is all they could give us.) Baby usually goes to bed at 7:30ish and sleeps through the night. We have a hotel for the night, so we could put baby down at 7:30… But then we have to get to the airport, checked in, thru security, and boarded, so baby would be repeatedly in and out of his car seat and would wake up each time. My other thought was to get to the airport super early and attempt to put him down in a quiet part of the terminal (in his car seat or we have a travel crib) so all we have to do is board the plane, and maybe (?) he could stay asleep thru that.

    I’m just a little terrified because he gets fussier as he gets more tired, and then it’s a vicious cycle of not being able to calm down enough to sleep. Any suggestions?

    • Noelle says

      No experience with this, but I would try the second approach. Seems relatively less disruptive. And maybe get a day pass at the airline lounge so the baby’s pre-boarding sleep is in a quieter area (and your own longer stay at the airport is more comfortable).

    • noob says

      How does he do if you’re carrying him in an infant carrier? When I went through security with my 2.5 month old alone, I wore her in a K’tan and they didn’t ask me to take her out. Of course , this could could vary from airport to airport and may only work with a wrap without metal buckles. I kept her in the wrap until we were about to board, then I put her in her carseat (she had her own seat).

      Does he have is own seat on the plane? If an infant carrier isn’t his thing and he sleeps well in his carseat, I’d get there early and have him fall asleep there and hope that boarding doesn’t wake him up much.

      Good luck!

      • R says

        Seconding the suggestion for a wrap/carrier. I used my Baby Bjorn in situations just like this. Awful on your back, but worth it for the trip through security alone.

    • Newly pregnant says

      No experience with this, but what about a white noise machine (or an app on your phone) that can attach to his car seat/stroller? It might drown out the sounds of the airport and help him sleep.

    • Momata says

      I know you said this is the only flight available — are any flights the next day available? If you already have a hotel for the night and you’re already not reaching your destination until the next day, I’d see if they could put you on first thing in the morning the next day. Otherwise, I’d go with the second approach coupled with a white noise app and a blanket over the carrier, especially if he has his own seat so you can just put the carrier in the seat and won’t have to move him once you get through security. Good luck.

    • anonymama says

      Will he fall asleep in a baby carrier (baby bjorn, ergo, etc) or stroller? For mine I would say after security immediately put him into baby carrier or carseat (whichever he will be in on plane), cover with blanket, and walk briskly around terminal until he is asleep.

  4. OliveMac says

    Ladies,

    Starting the registry and research process. Does anyone use a Dropcam as their monitor? Other than price (steeper than others), it seems pretty awesome. One thing I can’t get my head around: the lack of a constant sound monitor. I see that it sends you a text message when the babe moves, but how does that work at night? I’m pretty sure a text message won’t wake me up. Does that mean I need to hear the babe the old fashioned way (just through the walls) and the benefit of the Dropcam is that I can then pop the app open and take a look? I’d love your opinions if you use this as a monitor!

    Thanks!

    • Msj says

      I use a foscam but same idea. In my case, I can easily hear the babies through the door if they start to cry so haven’t had a need to buy a separate audio monitor. Overall, I’m very pleased with the setup (although the actual setup does take some tech savvy and patience)

      • FVNC says

        We also use a foscam, and purchased an inexpensive (maybe $20?) audio monitor to make sure we hear the kiddo when we’re downstairs or outside in the yard. It works well for us but I’ve never used a video monitor so I can’t compare. I agree the set up was a bit of a pain…I recall a few curse words coming from the room where my husband was setting it up.

    • noob says

      One thing to keep in mind is if you’ll be able to hear the baby cry throughout the house. I thought about the Dropcam, but her room is on the second level and while I can hear her on the first level, I can’t hear her in the basement unless she’s REALLY shrieking. We found that out the hard way one day when I forgot to turn up the sound on the baby monitor.

    • JMDS says

      We use dropcams (one in the nursery, one in the living room), and then have an audio monitor for my nanny for naps, and at night for us (although I would like to start turning it off, we literally are right across the hall and don’t go in at night any more unless he is very very upset). Dropcams are amazing, especially if you are going to have a nanny. The set-up takes less than a minute, and the ability to watch on my phone, ipad, or online is amazing. We pay for cloud monitoring (I think $150/year) so we can rewind.

      I think a couple of times we forgot to charge the audio monitor, and my husband left the app open with the volume turned up. That is an option if you don’t want to have both.

      • eh230 says

        We have the same setup. Dropcam and audio monitor in nursery upstairs. I hear the baby at night when I am upstairs, so we only use the audio monitor when baby naps and we are downstairs.

    • Momata says

      A counterpoint: we only have an audio monitor. We chose this as a means of chaining ourselves to the mast – kind of a “less is more” approach, whereby I would only know that baby wasn’t sleeping if she was crying. I think it made it easier for me to let her learn to go to sleep on her own.

      • Anonyc says

        Same–cheap-o audio monitor. We’ve also always been in small apartments so it’s not like I wouldn’t hear a massive ruckus. These days for a 10-month-old we don’t even bother turning on the monitor. Noises are usually her losing and then finding the pacifier, and going back to sleep (she is by far our best sleeper).

    • OliveMac says

      Thanks for the replies everyone! Our house is small, so maybe we’ll start off with dropcam, and then if we need a cheap-o audio, we can get it later. So much to think about!

    • RR says

      I think we have a foscam (could be a dropcam, not sure), and if you leave the app up on your phone it works all night. My husband just pulls it up on his phone when he comes to bed, and the phone is plugged in all night. I’m not sure on all the details, but I know I hear the baby via his phone app all night.

    • LizzieB says

      We have a foscam and use our iphones or ipads to watch/listen to the baby in the evenings and at night. The baby monitor app that I have runs in the background and you can set it to only play audio if noise in the baby’s room reaches a certain level. We really like it, and appreciate not having to carry around an extra video monitor in addition to our phones.

  5. GG says

    Ladies, what do you do about whining? I feel like I’ve tried everything and it. is. not. stopping. Any good resources about how to deal? DS is 2.5 y/o. I love him with my whole heart, but he’s driving me nuts.

    • Anonyc says

      I tell my kids that “I don’t speak whine” to encourage them to rephrase in a better way/not use a whiney tone.

      If that doesn’t seem to work I tell them that I’m not going to speak to them if they can’t stop whining/start listening/start behaving–benignly ignoring them. A fellow preschool parent let me know of this particular tactic and it really seems to work by breaking the whine cycle. Obviously if my kid is telling me something important I don’t ignore it, but I don’t need to hear for the 40th time how they want X or how something isn’t fair or whatever.

      • OCAssociate says

        +1 “I can’t understand you when you whine.” But to be honest, at 2.5, my son was entering the terrible twos and ignoring the whining didn’t seem to make much difference. We just had to wait out the obnoxious period.

    • anne-on says

      We use the line, I ‘I can’t understand you if you don’t use your big boy voice’ or I’ll just change the topic entirely – ‘I can’t understand whining, would you like to do X? or eat Y?’. I also (at home) will often get down on the floor with my son when he’s whiny and hold him in my lap and hug him or talk through the problem. We have most of our ‘whines’ when I’ve just come back from work and/or when he’s tired/hungry.

    • anonymama says

      Practice difference between whiny voice and regular voice, and when he whines, say “I can’t understand you when you talk in that voice, can you talk in your regular voice?” Or, “I like hearing your nice regular Sam voice!”

      Also, do NOT respond to the whiny voice, and try really hard to respond quickly when they ask nicely and in their regular voice. (and praise too when they ask nicely… even if you have to say no to the request, first talk about how nicely they asked and how much you like it when they ask nicely.) And if it is actually something that is up for debate, if he asks in a whiny voice, “absolutely not if you ask like that, I’ll think about it if you ask nicely.”

      But it is a phase that kids go through, and you kind of have to ride it out. Just think, the ten-thousandth time you say no whining, it may eventually sink in :)

    • Meg Murry says

      Rather than saying something like “I don’t speak whine” we go with something like “ask me politely” if its something we plan to give in on (like “I wanna glass of waaaaaa-ter”) and we wait for him to say “please get me some water” and just saying “no” and then giving timeouts or ignoring if its a request we don’t plan to do – sometimes with a “mommy said no, stop asking or you’re going in timeout.”

      We are lucky though in that daycare does not give in to whining, ever, so the kids are learning the bad habit of whining until they get what they want. If you have a nanny/babysitter, you may want to watch that interaction to make sure it isn’t being reinforced that if they whine they will eventually get their way.

    • GG says

      OP here. Thanks a lot. The whining definitely seems to peak when DS is hungry, not feeling well, or transitioning (as in waking up, coming home from daycare). He always wants mom (of course), so I’ll work on giving him positive attention when he asks like a big boy and correcting then ignoring the whine. I feel somewhat relieved that there isn’t a magic bullet. I was feeling a little down on my parenting for having a (more than occasional) whiner.

    • MomAnon4This says

      We’re obvs. terrible parents, but by that age our son had watched Star Wars. We told him to sound more like Darth Vader and less like Luke. He got it.

      Also, (see terrible parent) but my kid finds it hilarious when I whine back to him. So funny to see Mommy acting like a baby when I am a big boy and I know better! You have to pick your time, otherwise it could send your kid over the end. I also have been known to fall on the floor in a tantrum and suck my thumb, but that may or not be related to teaching my kid.

      • PregAnon says

        That’s hilarious. I’m stealing it. I’m sure mine will have seen Star Wars by that age too!

    • Anon says

      Whining is the worst and can be intractable! (I’ve got 20 years [god that’s terrifying] years childcare experience in all sorts of ages and situations, but YMMV)2.5 year olds are pretty non-logical, so you can try explaining, but you should really think about it in the form of pet training (no your child is not a pet, but this will get you in the right mindset). Whining is an effort to get attention, so a steady ability to ignore combined with re-direction and praise are your best bets.

      For a 2.5 year old I would start with, “I understand you (want, are feeling bored/frustrated, are unhappy) but I need you to use a nice tone to talk to me.” You may have to repeat this many, many times over a single conversation. You can use an emotion chart (smiley faces to unhappy faces, like a pain chart – should be easy to find online) if your 2.5 yo has trouble expressing their emotions.

      Second, you need to praise your kid (A LOT) when they come to you with problems / desires in a nice way. Say “thank you for talking to me nicely” and give a hug. (This is not bribery — this is building a bank of positive interactions that reinforce behavior.) You may need to stage role playing to get your child to understand this. Try this with you talking to her other parent, (Honey I am frustrated the dishes aren’t washed. Thank you for telling me! Let’s come up with a solution together! Wow! Now the dishes are in the dishwasher and I feel better!) or set up scenarios with her toys and dolls (Baby doll wants to eat her snack now. How should she tell the teddy bear? If baby whines, how does that make Teddy feel?)

      Initially, these need a LOT of consistency — from you, your partner, from anyone watching the child at home. Set up a meeting, make a game plan, write scripts. Be prepared for this to take months (more if she does child care out of the home and is picking it up there). But as it becomes consistent you’ll need to praise less. But be prepared for this to be the first skill that flies out the window when something upsets the balance of life — moving, vacation, holidays, long nights that keep kids away from bedtimes (that happens — you can’t miss Grandma’s birthday or slumber parties with cousins sometimes!) You’ll have to go back to your scripts RIGHT AWAY.

      Another thing to do is to look for underlying problems — does she always whine when she wants a snack? Then help set up easy snacks she can get to by herself. Does she whine when she’s bored? Set up shelves with activities and toys that she can get by herself (but teach her to put them away). Does she whine when she doesn’t want to do something? Maybe she’s an introvert and is overscheduled? I’m a proponent of lots of Montessori techniques (though not strictly so in any way) and think the idea that you should spend time observing your child and trying to understand their point of view when you face challenges like this. Maybe she’s ready for lots of independence and more challenges, but she’s living in a too-babyish world (from her point of view), maybe the total opposite (she’s not as mature as she’s expected to be, so she’s annoying you in rebellion).

      Anyway, good luck!

  6. Anonymous says

    After three months of exclusive pumping from the start my supply completely stopped within 2 days. It was always low but now it is non-existent. . Between the domperidone, vitamins, the fenugreek and the blessed thistle I was taking about 20 pills a day and pumping eight times. I never wanted to do it from the start but was pressured into it and now it is all over. So relieved.

    • eh230 says

      Just wanted to say congrats for making it three months pumping exclusively. It’s super hard, you did a great job!

    • PregAnon says

      That’s awesome that you made it three months! I hope to make it that far. My optimistic “goal” is 6, but in reality I’ll probably be happy to make it to 3.

    • Anon says

      That’s really sad that you were pressured into it. I’m glad you’re happier with your new situation!

  7. PregAnon says

    So my MIL haven’t always had the greatest of relationships. DH and I have been together since high school, so I’ve known her a really long time, but she really is a mess. She heavily relies on DH for almost anything related to insurance, bills, housework, repairs…whatever…and I get that to a point, because my FIL had a horrible accident many years ago and she cares for him at home (her choice, money + insurance exists for both full time out of home care and respite care), so she is on her own. She was in charge of many of those things pre-accident, but we have a little displacement going on with her leaning on DH now, a LOT! So, anyway, that’s the short version. We’ve had our run ins, because I’m very straightforward and logical and she (even pre-accident) runs on her feelings and emotions.

    So now she finds out I’m pregnant, and is super crazy exited (when we told her she started screaming at the top of her lungs and crying, “I’m getting a baby, I never thought I was going to get a baby!.” Uh…lady…we waited on purpose, career and stability came first for us…but ok…

    So now she wants to be my best friend and go shopping for maternity clothes, and wants to come visit twice this year (we live about 800 miles away). It’s just so…fake! I keep having to remind myself of the horrible things she has said and done over the past 18 years, because as much as I would have LIKED this person to be my friend, I know she isn’t. Specifically, she isn’t reliable or trustworthy. And she’s already excommunicated one of her daughters, who has two kids of her own, and I think it is pretty messed up she’s acting like this is her first grandchild.

    I don’t know what kind of input I’m looking for. My plan is just to keep her at arm’s length as much as possible, and she can see the baby a couple of times a year when she visits and when we visit her, that’s fine, but I’m VERY good at trusting people when I shouldn’t (I know, I should have learned by now not to give people the benefit of the doubt) and I’m scared I’m going to get sucked in (again), trust this woman, and get run over by a truck again (figuratively).

    • RR says

      I think it helps to remember that, even if she secretly (or not so secretly) doesn’t like you, she will love your baby. She’s one of the few people in the world who, like you, would risk life or limb for your baby. It’s hard while pregnant, but I found that it helped a lot once the baby was born. Still annoying. Still a horrible, negative, passive aggressive person. But, really does love my kids, and I have a soft spot for people who love my kids. She will probably still be a hateful witch to you, but my secret is to judge my MIL as a grandmother based upon her interactions with my kids, not with me.

      • CHJ says

        I think this is good advice overall, particularly for annoying-but-loving in-laws, but I want to add the caveat that how a grandmother treats a child’s mother is also an important criteria in judging how someone is as a grandmother. I have a strict rule that if my MIL starts being verbally abusive to my husband or me, we leave. I don’t want my son to grow up thinking that it is ok for parents to insult / belittle their children, ever, even if that relationship is grandparents to parents.

    • anon says

      Have been keeping my parents at arm’s length for a while now, for various reasons. When I told them I was pregnant, I think my mother thought this would be the great reconciliation. While a small part of me believes that some people can and do change (for the better), most don’t, and so far, this has been borne out. Her enthusiasm is mostly about her, and it drops considerably when I don’t mirror her behavior. So trust your gut and your experience, and do what works for you (while making sure your husband is on board – presenting that united front is critical).

    • CHJ says

      This sounds a lot like my MIL, and honestly things have gotten much harder since I had my son. One thing that struck a chord was her comment that “I’m getting a baby!” That is my MIL to a T. She’s always saying things like “where’s my baby! Where’s my baby dolly!” It makes my skin crawl. That, plus she uses our son as a guilt weapon if we don’t want to visit or have them visit. (“Why are you keeping me away from my grandson??” etc.) I wish I could have a different and better relationship with this person, but over time I’ve accepted that I cannot.

      For us, the key is Boundaries Boundaries Boundaries. I found the book Stop Walking on Eggshells to be very helpful in this regard. I try to set limits for myself and my son that I’m comfortable with (such as, MIL is not allowed to babysit) and leave my husband in charge of all communications with them.

      • PregAnon says

        Thank you everyone for the advice! All good stuff. CHJ – I’m going to get that book!!

        This is going to be important for us, too, and husband is 100% on board. He has finally started realizing that his…well, I don’t want to call it “bad behavior,” but it kind of is…pops up when he interacts with her too much. Example: for at least 2 years she was calling us at 9pm, on the dot. We are either in bed or getting ready for it at that time, since husband starts work at 6am. It was hugely disruptive, but when husband pointed it out, she flipped, so he had to just stop answering her calls completely for a couple of months. It was (and still is) to the point that she calls him to transfer money for her between her accounts! So anyway, once he had no contact with her for a couple of months, he reverted back to the even tempered, patient guy I married. When he has too much mom around, he gets very snappy and yells a lot. So that was a good breakthrough.

        “No MIL babysitting” is going to be a big one. Actually, we won’t even be able to take the baby in the house. Because of his condition, my FIL has developed a chronic C-Diff infection. Since I have an autoimmune issue (controlled) that makes me susceptible to catching it, we stay at a nearby hotel and hang out with her outside on the deck when we visit. No way can I have a baby in the house (along with C-Diff, he’s had bouts of MERSA and other infections. Nope!)

        Anon – I think you’re right that people can sometimes change, but not normally. And MIL certainly isn’t one that will!

      • PregAnon says

        The “I’m getting a baby” really freaked me out. Also running through the house screaming “FIL, WE’RE GETTING A BABY” at the top of her lungs freaked me out too. FIL is in a vegetative state (very different from a coma) and has been non-responsive for 5 years. One of her “items of torture” is to hold the phone up to his ear and make the kids talk to him. Bah.

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