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Ever since I’ve been free of the diaper bag, I’ve been relishing using my normal purses. I love being able to just bring my wallet, keys, and phone — and my son being old enough to not need fruit pouches, diapers, specific sippy cups, etc., etc. I like the idea of having a “micro bag” for grab and go, and if I decide to bring a larger bag I can just throw the smaller one inside.
I have a gym bag from Lululemon, and I find that all of their bags are really intuitively designed with features I come to appreciate. For example, if you wanted to throw this bag into a larger bag, you can just remove the strap.
The bag is available at Lululemon.com (online only). Now and Always Crossbody Mini 3L
Sales of note for 4.18.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 50% off full-price dresses, jackets & shoes; $30 off pants & skirts; extra 50% off sale styles
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- Eloquii – 50% off select styles; 60% off swim; up to 40% off everything else
- J.Crew – Mid-Season Sale: Extra 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off spring-to-summer styles
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
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- Nordstrom: Free 2-day shipping for a limited time (eligible items)
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- Zappos – 29,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Up to 70% off baby items; 50% off toddler & kid deals & 40% off everything else
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off spring faves; 25% off new arrivals; up to 30% off spring
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Up to 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off kids’ spring-to-summer styles
- Old Navy – 30% off your purchase; up to 75% off clearance
- Target – Car Seat Trade-In Event (ends 4/27); BOGO 25% off select skincare products; up to 40% off indoor furniture; up to 20% off laptops & printers
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
AwayEmily says
I just got a $10 Jansport “waist pack” (aka fanny pack) that fills this exact purpose — I usually wear it as a crossbody rather than around my waist. It’s especially nice when we are just going on little walks around the neighborhood and I want to bring everyone’s masks with me, plus my phone and keys.
avocado says
I like having a small bag for quick outings, but the itty bitty ones don’t work for me unless I’ll be outdoors the whole time and won’t be taking off my sunglasses. A sunglasses case takes up quite a bit of room.
Patricia Gardiner says
I had my 2nd baby 2 weeks ago and I’m a bit sad and wistful that I will not be pregnant again (never wanted more than 2 kids, that has not changed, plus with my age and complications it would not be advisable). I just… really enjoyed being pregnant- I was lucky that I never had bad morning sickness, continued exercising through much of them, etc. I already miss feeling the little baby movements and am sad I won’t get to experience that again. Yes, I know I’m lucky to have had enjoyable pregnancies- part of it may also be we went through years of fertility treatments first so it still feels so amazing that it worked out for us. I had complications towards week 36-37 of each pregnancy but up until then things went smoothly.
I don’t know what I’m asking – has anyone else felt this way, and how did you deal with it? No desire for another child, but just feeling nostalgic already!
Anonymous says
Don’t have unprotected sex and give it time. Your hormones will settle in and you’ll be fine.
Anon says
I felt this way about my (one) pregnancy until I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease when I was 6 months postpartum and the doctors said it was activated by the pregnancy. Of course I don’t wish my health struggles on anyone, but the diagnosis really drove home how hard pregnancy is on a woman’s body, even an “easy” pregnancy like yours and mine. Now I’m just super relieved that I never have to be pregnant and put my body through all that again.
Anonymous says
I loved being pregnant and I relate so much. It’s just hard and sad when a stage of life you have enjoyed comes to an end.
Lyssa says
I definitely relate to this. Everyone keeps saying at the end that you’re supposed to just want it to be done and have the baby out of there, but I always loved knowing baby was so close. But it is what it is. Congratulations on your little one!
asdf says
Can you think of something to look forward to that is incompatible with pregnancy? I remember wanting to burn all my maternity clothes and decided to treat myself to a custom closet when I was done.
Anon says
the only part i liked of being pregnant was feeling confident that my stomach was showing (i often look slightly pregnant bc of the way i carry my weight), but i still feel that way sometimes. we had twins, and definitely no desire for a 3rd kid, but every time i hear of someone else who is pregnant, i feel a twinge of jealousy, that i will never do that again, and i often get such baby fever, but really i want another child for ages 6-13 months, or the opportunity to have 1 newborn at a time, but DH and I are both a hard no on #3. time has helped, and i had ppd/ppa, so some therapy as well
AwayEmily says
I absolutely felt this way (also loved being pregnant), and just giving it time was all I needed. For the first full year after my second was born I was CONVINCED I wanted another baby, despite it being a bad idea for many reasons. For the following year I was still pretty sure I wanted another baby. Then, when my second was two and a half, I had a pregnancy scare and that was when I realized that my logical side (I’m 40, my husband doesn’t really want a third kid, it would be very difficult for our careers, we are enjoying having older kids) had finally outweighed the visceral “I want a baby” feelings. I’m not saying it totally went away, but I’m now 80% happy with the idea that I will never be pregnant again. So yeah — just give it time.
Anon says
I am feeling sad about this at the moment. We are one and done (not entirely by choice) and I’m feeling like I missed out on so much of the pregnancy experience because she was born really early. I really enjoyed the time from 22 weeks (when I finally got over feeling anxious about this pregnancy working out after years of infertility and loss) until 29 weeks (she’s 10 months old now and doing great fortunately) and I’m sad I won’t get to experience that again.
ElisaR says
I get that Anon, but get excited because you have so much fun stuff ahead of you! 10 months is when it begins to get fun….and each year really gets better.
Anon says
Thanks ElisaR
Anon says
This is super late but I had my baby at age 40 after many IVF procedures. She’s our one and only. I didn’t really love being pregnant 80% of the time. I missed wine and was so tired all the time. But that 20% of the time was special. Looking pregnant instead of fat. Great hair. People smiling at me. And sleeping like a log until I was like 38 weeks and too big (insomniac my whole life). Getting points for just showing up. I miss that too!
Thanksgiving anon says
Have any of you thought ahead to thanksgiving plans? I know community conditions may get worse and require changes but at this point I don’t see how they would be better. My husband wants to propose eating outdoors (with patio heaters) at his family and at mine. I’m not even really comfortable with that. FWIW, one of our kids is high risk so we’ve been isolated. Our families think we’re crazy and have been pressuring us to see them. Part of the problem is my sister’s kids are in college and going to parties as college kids do and I’m uncomfortable about being around them. And I don’t judge them for it – I know our risk tolerance is lower than others bc of the health issues. I’ve accepted we’re in a different boat but I’m also aware I can’t trust them to isolate (and wouldn’t ask that of them either) before so it’s seems like a lot of risk. What are others doing?
Cb says
In the UK so no Thanksgiving, but I’m looking ahead to Christmas with trepidation. We don’t have any local family and I struggle to think about how Christmas just the three of us will be any fun. Especially without the normal activities we do around the holiday time.
Anonymous says
I have to say – last year we had to stay home as a family of four because our baby SCREAMED for every single car ride. Like traveling was not an option. Anyways, the holidays were still really fun and also relaxed. We are non-traditional holiday food and just took walks and got to sleep at home. It was nice. It was just one year. People put a lot of stress on the holidays as the end all be all, but it’s just one (or maybe two..) years.
Cb says
Yeah, I think it will be more fun this year, but I do find it a bit sad. We’ve done solo Christmases the year we got married and then when my son was 16 months and I found them a bit depressing. But hopefully now that he’s really into the idea of Christmas, it’ll be more fun. Our house is on the market and I’m not sure where we’ll be which makes it even harder to envisage. If we’re here I’m buying a massive Christmas tree.
EP-er says
I don’t know — I would take this opportunity to start some new traditions! These are things we do as our immediate family at Christmas: spend an afternoon baking/decorating cookies; watch Christmas movies; write Christmas cards/letters; decorate your tree & listen to carols… We get special Christmas jammies, read a special Christmas story, have a special brunch Christmas morning. We drag out the opening presents as long as possible (unlike the free for all when I was growing up — all over in 20 minutes and you never know what siblings got!)
I think you can miss being with your family but still make the holidays special & fun. :)
anon says
Ugh, I posted about this on the main board yesterday. I don’t know if we’re going to have Thanksgiving as normal, and it’s breaking my heart. Between my parents, us, and my siblings and their families, we are a crew of 20. We usually host. Our house is decent sized, but even so, that’s a big risk. Thanksgiving weather is usually not conducive to an outdoor celebration unless we get really lucky. Isolating ahead of time isn’t practical for a number of reasons (all 10 kids are in school/daycare, two siblings are teachers, one is an RN). I’m not even exaggerating when I say this realization that it won’t be Thanksgiving as usual is adding to my low-level depression right now. We have given up so much this year; being together is really the only thing that makes all this BS worth it.
Anonymous says
Yeah this isn’t safe.
Anon says
Could you split the 20 into smaller cohorts? We will be celebrating with my inlaws so it will just be four of us. My SIL will celebrate w/ her inlaws so there will be 5 of them. Is there a way to split everyone up so no one is alone but keeps numbers still down?
We are still traveling to see the inlaws but we are driving and don’t plan non leaving their house except for walks outside after we get there.
Anonymous says
“We have given up so much this year; being together is really the only thing that makes all this BS worth it.”
If you get together with your family for Thanksgiving, you are literally throwing away the sacrifices that you and everyone else in this country have made over the past seven months. Suck it up and do your part.
Anonymous says
Ugh, were probably going to do thanksgiving with my husbands family. I don’t particularly want to because there’s college kids/young adults who are going to bars, unmasked. But we’re married and I can’t unilaterally make all our decisions. I think I’m just accepting that I know we are doing this one risky event but otherwise aren’t exposing ourselves a lot.
Anonymous says
“But we’re married and I can’t unilaterally make all our decisions.” If you are true partners, then the one with more risk tolerance always defers to the one with less risk tolerance. It’s just like trying for a baby–you don’t do it unless both partners are on board. If either one says no, you don’t do it. You don’t risk your lives, and your children’s lives, unless both of you are on the same page about it.
Anonymous says
This. When one person is worried about a risky situation, it doesn’t mean that the risk taker gets their way. Stay home. Don’t expose your kids if you are worried. DH can go on his own with masking, and change clothes/wash up when he gets home.
Anonymous says
Her husband shouldn’t even go. It’s too risky–you can’t eat without a mask, and the dynamics of the situation mean that he’s likely to get pressured into taking more risks than originally planned (e.g., let’s all go inside to watch football!).
Anonymous says
In this situation, I think they need to defer to the person with the lower risk tolerance. But, I have to disagree with your statement generally. My husband has next to zero risk tolerance. I have what I would consider a normal amount of risk tolerance. A lifetime of always deferring to one spouse is not a true partnership. He has to suck it up and deal sometimes. (For context, I’m mostly talking about financial decisions.)
Anon says
This. I am way more cautious about Covid than the average person, but my husband is cautious (I would say anxious) to an extreme degree. I resent the notion that I have to live as a hermit because of my husband’s anxiety. There has to be limits to “the more cautious person always wins.”
Lyssa says
I agree. The idea that a couple would *always* defer to the higher risk tolerance sort of creeps me out. As a way of life, it sounds like it could easily venture into abuse.
Anonymous says
This reasoning is why there will be a massive surge in early December.
Anonymous says
The Rose Garden spreader event hasn’t disabused him of this idea? I wouldn’t for sure in your situation. At a minimum, I think you and the immunocompromised kid stay home and do something fun at home.
Sharing food creates a risk for transmission. Our public health guidelines are that any event should be outdoors, socially distanced and with no food sharing. So that means, you bring and eat only your own food. And the tables are set 6 feet apart.
Anon says
Many people think the issue with the Rose Garden event was the indoor stuff that also happened. Plus the hugging and high fiving.
Personally, I’m terrified of what will happen after thanksgiving. I know so many people that have been so cautious but they are allowing thanksgiving to be their one cheat. Multiply that by a million people and we are definitely going to see a big spike in cases.
Anon says
I don’t think the consensus is that the spread at the White House all occurred indoors. Outdoors is much safer than indoors, but you can’t disregard all precautions just because you’re outside. There were ~200 people and they were hugging, cheek kissing, talking from 1-2 feet away, all with no masks on. Transmission is very possible in that setting, even outdoors.
I agree with you about a huge spike in cases. Every single person I know – including a bunch of people who haven’t yet gone to a restaurant or shared a meal with family – is hosting family or going to a family member’s house for Thanksgiving dinner. As you said, many people are making this their one “cheat” event after 8+ months of compliance, and it’s going to be a public health disaster.
Anon says
I’m the person at 9:21 and I totally agree with you that spread could have happened at the outdoor Rose Garden event. I was trying to say that the people I hear still pushing for outdoor gatherings dismiss the Rose Garden event by saying many of those people were indoors together too. It’s likely a mix of both, but particularly the hugging and cheek kissing. Blech, I hate cheek kissing even in a non-pandemic.
Anonymous says
I’m assuming that in OP’s scenario even if they eat outdoors, there will be some in and out of the house to use the washroom/heat and serve the food etc. Plus it doesn’t sound like there will be lots of distancing, no hugs etc.
Anonymous says
To me this isn’t a question: your child is high risk. So you can’t risk it. And that’s it.
Anon says
Most spread at this point is through smaller family gatherings, so I don’t think you’re wrong to be concerned about it, especially with the high level of community transmission we have now.
We had originally hoped to get tested and host my parents (they live within driving distance) but given the high rate of false negatives on the antigen tests, that feels risky to me, plus my parents have important work commitments the week of Thanksgiving (they work from home now, but aren’t psyched about the idea of doing this stuff from our house). Instead, we’re going to pull DD out of daycare after Thanksgiving, quarantine for at least 10 days, test and then see my parents for a do-over Thanksgiving in early December. We’re also going to take a (driving) vacation and see my parents a second time before we go back to school in early January.
I really hope elderly folks at least can get vaccinated by mid-2021. This “pulling kid out of school for weeks on end to see family” thing is not something I want to do more than once or twice per year, but I also hate the idea of seeing my parents that infrequently. I have no idea when we’ll see my in-laws again, since they’re a flight away.
Anon says
The problem is also family pressure for us. My parents are taking the disease very seriously but are high risk. My dad is in his 80’s with COPD. His take is he doesn’t know how many good years he has left and he’d rather still see us and take the risk than not. Yet we are the ones that have to live with the guilt if we give him the disease.
Since they are driving distance, I’ve been seeing them without my husband. I’m exclusively work from home. He does field work that puts him in people’s houses. My thinking is if he was pre-symptomatic, I would not likely yet have the viral load to pass it along so keeping him home is safer than us both going.
Anonymous says
The fact that he is high risk doesn’t make you no risk. Ask him how he would feel if he got it but survived and passed it on to one of the grandkids who then died or had permanent lung damage. Lots of reports from the university hospital in my DH’s European home city that very fit young people are experiencing significant longer term lung issues similar to COPD. He has COPD, I can’t imagine he’d want his grandkids to suffer similarly.
Different Anon says
Interesting . . . I had a respiratory illness this past January that mimics the signs of COVID but the US had no known cases then. I have had ongoing respiratory issues since that occurred and am on two asthma medications now even though my asthma hadn’t been active since I last had bronchitis years ago and before then high school when I was a runner in a school with crappy air quality. I’ve been told I have “viral asthma” asthma that was triggered by a virus. My docs don’t seem to think it matters whether that virus was COVID or not but if it was COVID, I wonder if I should have imaging done to see if they can actually see any lung damage. I think they just roll their eyes because everyone thinks they already had COVID. They didn’t want me to do antibody testing because it shouldn’t change my behavior because we don’t know how long the antibodies provide immunity for. To them, it doesn’t change my treatment whether it was COVID or another virus.
Anonymous says
https://www.healthline.com/health-news/heart-and-lung-damage-from-covid19-can-improve-over-time#What-experts-say
Anon says
We are also high risk, but so are my inlaws and my parents. We will likely do what some of what we’ve always done, helped by the fact that I refuse to travel on the holiday with small children. I typically host Thanksgiving dinner for us and my inlaws and plan to do so again this year, indoors, without masks, the same way we see them anyways (they are local). The tricky part is that we have historically (still amazes me that COVID has been here long enough for us to have a history) been waiting at least a week between seeing my inlaws and seeing my parents (2 hour drive) so as to reduce the risk of cross-contaminating them should, for example, the inlaws or my parents pick up the virus at the grocery store (the only place they are going – we are not even going to stores). In the past, my family would come visit for a day that weekend, but I think we will want to space it out more. One sister will quarantine and then drive to see my parents; the other sister will fly but will quarantine for a week at a neighbor’s second home before staying with my parents. Once they are in the family bubble, we will probably take a long weekend to see them the weekend after Thanksgiving. I am just canceling friendsgiving this year – we normally have a party for 20+ and I’m not comfortable doing that even outside. Plus I am just too darn tired this year. Christmas we will probably do something similar – see my inlaws on or just before Christmas and then do a long weekend over New Years with my family to celebrate New Years and Christmas.
anon says
We’ll just eat with our immediate family. Not worth the risk to potentially get older relative sick.
We are planning to see relatives for New Years, but everyone will quarantine for 10 days prior to the visit (starting before Christmas).
Boston Legal Eagle says
This is the year when we’ll really take advantage of having a small family, I think. We’ll likely do what we would have done anyway and host with the four of us and my parents. All adults who still work WFH, and we may pull the kids out of daycare that week and the week before to minimize the risk. My husband’s parents are plane rides away so we won’t be seeing them, and my extended family are all in a different country.
I do expect case counts to rise dramatically after, but I also don’t see everyone just agreeing to not see their families? I think if we had a guarantee that this would be over next January, it would be one thing, but no one really knows when this is going to end. Not saying it’s good for everyone to go out and gather indoors with multiple relatives, but it’s human nature to long for that connection over the holidays.
Anonymous says
A big reason that we don’t know when it’s going to end is that people insist on seeing their families.
anon says
I’m not sure why this is a big surprise. We’re now on month six of being isolated. Is it any wonder that people are going a bit nuts? I don’t disagree that it’s a huge public health problem, but also? It’s completely predictable. I have a lot less judgment for people who want to see their loved ones than for people who just wanna party it up like it’s 2019.
Anonymous says
It’s not a big surprise that people want to see their families. But it’s still a huge problem.
Anonymous says
I get what you’re saying, but I’ve also been questioning this. Specifically, I’ve been following Canada a bit, mostly because I have a colleague who works up there who I talk to a few times per week. Her province and neighboring provinces have been heavily locked down and only have a handful of cases. Yet, their restricitons remain incredibly tight. It hasn’t been a “give it a solid X weeks and it’ll be over” situation. They’ve been going hardcore since March, not seeing extended family, with no current community spread, and they’re still highly restricted. So I disagree with the notion that if only we’d really lockdown, it would be over. Why would we be different?
Anonymous says
Yeah and look at Europe which got cases to essentially zero, reopened and had a huge second wave. If we were all better at following the rules, kids could safely have school and way fewer people would die, so I’m not disagreeing there are clear benefits to it. But the pandemic wouldn’t be over.
Anonymous says
Living in Atlantic Canada is not ‘highly restrictive’ – our schools, restaurants, gyms etc are all open and pretty normal with some reduced capacity. Masking in all indoor spaces (except elementary school kids while in their classrooms) but compliance on that is high. 14 day quarantine if you are coming in from outside the Atlantic bubble and limits on who can come in at all. But we have no community spread so it’s nice not to have to stress out. We locked down early and quickly in March, have opened back up much more slowly than the US but looking at normalish fall/winter. We all expect the restrictions will not ease up further until there is a vaccine sometime next year but compliance is high because we realize we have a good situation now and no one wants to be the start of the next cluster.
Our situation is much much better than the rest of Canada or Europe. Europe was never close to zero. People there were allowed to go on vacation and come back without a 14 day quarantine. https://www.theglobeandmail.com/canada/article-the-atlantic-bubble-has-largely-succeeded-in-keeping-out-covid-1/
Anonymous says
The problem is that the spikes cause other consequences, so it’s basically people choosing seeing their families above all else. I fully expect schools and daycares to close for an extended period of time beginning in January, due to the Thanksgiving/Christmas spikes. I am mad that my kids will have to suffer more disruptions to their education and social isolation because people needed to gather in large family groups for one day.
Anonymous says
Yup. Yet another case of misplaced priorities. There is apparently nothing we as a nation value less than getting our kids back to school safely.
Anon says
Looking at things from a sociological perspective, while it seems like there are kids and families everywhere, only a certain portion of society has school-aged kids. People are inherently selfish. You have all of the people that are say 18-30 who haven’t yet had kids. Then you have all the 55+ people that are empty nesters. Plus you have all of the people who don’t have kids either by choice or because they couldn’t have kids. You also have the families with a stay at home parent for whom childcare disruption is less of an issue. That’s a whole lot of people for whom school/daycare isn’t even on the radar, let alone a priority. The apathy towards children of the pandemic, while infuriating, does not at all surprise me.
Anon says
I see what you’re saying and generally agree…but in terms of priorities family SHOULD be above school. We are scaling down our holidays this year because we value of lives of our family members (and the broader community), not because school is sacrosanct
Anon says
Family is above school FOR YOU. Those priorities aren’t universal. My family is very close on an emotional level to my parents, but they aren’t part of our daily lives the way daycare is, and affordable, high-quality childcare is an essential need for my family in a way that visits with the grandparents are not.
The problem is that you get to decide to be with your family, but those of us who value school don’t get to decide to have school. Schools staying open depends on the community’s collective actions, and everyone deciding to visit family takes away school for those of us who prioritize that instead.
Anonymous says
Anon at 1:21, exactly. It drives me bananas that other people’s “choices” to have family gatherings, go to bars, and host block parties mean that my kids are stuck doing useless busywork for on-line “school” and our family will be virtual prisoners in our own home for the foreseeable future. We don’t let people drive drunk or smoke in public because of the consequences to innocent third parties. We shouldn’t let people engage in selfish superspreader behavior during a pandemic either.
Anonymous says
The #1 priority should be stopping the pandemic. That’s more important than Thanksgiving dinner and even more important than school. But you think that your “need” to see your family in person is more important than stopping the pandemic, and that is why we will never get COVID under control.
Anonymous says
The #1 policy priority for the country should be managing the pandemic. I think where a lot of people are fed up is that we’re expected to make big personal sacrifices to compensate for the fact that the national response has been an epic failure. I personally think it’s important to minimize the number of people I might share germs with and take reasonable precautions with distancing and wearing masks, but I completely sympathize with people who look around and see a lot of laissez faire from people in power and figure that if it’s not important enough for them to do anything about, it’s not important enough to skip Thanksgiving over.
I also think that reasonable people disagree on whether close relationship with family is more important than my kids going to school for a couple weeks. Obviously I’d prefer to have my kids in school, but cancelling family traditions around the holidays is a steep price. Not everyone has the luxury of believing all that family will be around to celebrate next year.
Anonymous says
I don’t know what we’ll do. We’re not high risk, and most of our family isn’t. We’ve only been seeing grandparents and not siblings. What I’d really like to do is go on vacation that week – we’re in the Midwest, so maybe a drive to the mountains in Colorado and find some fun outdoor activities. Last year we did a long weekend vacation and more or less ignored Thanksgiving due to taking a stand against family politics. And it was one of the best vacations we’ve ever had.
Anonymous says
That sounds fun, and pretty safe!
9:47 Anon says
Right. I think with a healthy amount of planning and staying at the right place, it would be fine. But I guess it is October…those places might all be reserved already!
anon says
We’re tentatively planning to do a get together with our immediate family, which will mean combining 4 households (9 adults, including 2 over 65, and 4 kids) indoors. I’m still trying to decide if this is a reasonably safe idea or not. Only one kid is in daycare and she’ll get pulled out for 2 weeks before hand, but she and her sister will still be cared for by a nanny. The couple without kids won’t see their friends for 2 weeks, but one of them still goes into work in-person 3 days a week (masked and distanced, but indoors). Everyone will stay home for 2 weeks except for 1 or 2 grocery store trips and then drive to the gathering location rather than fly. These are all good precautions, but doesn’t bring the risk down to 0…
Anon says
i think immediate family at this stage of your life, is you, your DH and your kids.
anon says
Valid point, I should have said slightly extended family (so my parents, their kids and grandkids). It’s not the usual extended family we usually do of parents’ siblings and their kids/grandkids and none of my sibs would be seeing their inlaws.
SC says
We are traveling to Florida to visit my parents for the week of Thanksgiving. Their risk tolerance is very high, higher than mine, and has been since March.
We typically spend Thanksgiving with the in-laws, who live in town. In normal times, DH’s dad and step-mom host up to 20 people, and DH’s mom and step-dad host around 10. Obviously, gatherings that large are unwise this year. Also, because of our exposures and DH’s parents’ and/or step-parents’ underlying risks, DH’s mom is only comfortable with brief, outdoor, masked, socially distanced visits, and DH’s dad and step-mom are only comfortable with outdoor, socially distanced visits. Both sets of DH’s parents are sharing a bubble with DH’s step-siblings, who are able to work from home or at least wear masks at work, and will probably have Thanksgiving with them. So it’s probably better that we’re out of town and they don’t have to explicitly say we’re not invited this year.
Anonymous says
We haven’t figured it out yet. Our normal Thanksgiving plans include extended family gathering in my 90-something year old grandparents’ house, so that will certainly not be happening this year. They live somewhere that will be too cold for outdoor dinner in late November, even if it were a good idea to get people from 5 states together (which, to be clear, it is not).
The only way this MIGHT work is if we rent an Air bnb near my grandparents. My mom and siblings would probably stay with us (all low risk, low community spread, mask enthusiasts), and we could at least bundle up and eat pie on my grandparents’ porch while they talk to us through the window or something. TBD whether my cousins would also come and stay in their own air bnb’s, in which case we’d need to spread out at tables all over the yard. Thanksgiving means a lot to my grandparents and they probably don’t have many years left, but we’ll see if I can get anyone else on board.
Otherwise we’ll either do Thanksgiving alone or with neighbors already in our bubble, or possibly with my mom and siblings. My husband is adamant that we do not host any houseguests that weekend, but my sister lives nearby, so they could stay with her, or we could all decamp to an air bnb.
shortperson says
we are renting a “farmstay” airbnb that weekend, just dh and me and kids. no extra exposure but something fun for the kids.
Anonanonanon says
I think I have to fire our new nanny, during a pandemic, and I don’t feel great about it.
It was already not a great fit. She texted me questions all day (questions like “I can’t reach the wipes, what should i do?” where I’d have to point out the obvious like “I would grab one of the stools around for the children and try that.”) She’s been here full-time for about a month and has already used all of her sick time. There has been a COVID scare, strep, and now she has mono. We made it clear in the interview process that I’m immunosuppressed and discussed COVID precautions and we have since realized she misled us. She misled us on the number of people she lives with and the size of the circle of people she sees. The fact we’ve had 3 illness-related incidents in one month tells me she’s not great at infection control precautions. We also specifically asked if she had her own transportation to and from work and it turns out she does not have a license and is walking (in a pretty suburban area) or relying on rides from various people, which often results in her lingering in our home at least half an hour after her “shift” is done.
I’m dreading starting the nanny search again. It’s really a sellers market out there, and the majority of them are not happy about getting a W2.
Anonymous says
Yeh, you definitely need to fire her. I’m sorry though.
Anonymous says
Yeah just fire her.
Anon says
We fired our and it sucked but only until she left. You can do it! :)
Anonymous says
Rip off the band-aid. The anticipation is much worse than the reality.
Anonanonanon says
I made my husband do it, lol.
anne-on says
I’m so sorry. It is hard to find care, but I actually have seen that it’s gotten a little better recently judging by the number of candidates posting on my local moms group. Seems a lot more teachers/adults are looking for nanny/sitter jobs after trying and not wanting to deal with workplace Covid risks. I’d start by seeing if there is a local sitters/moms group on facebook. I primarily use Facebook groups for this sort of thing and it does seem to be helpful.
Good luck!
Anonanonanon says
Thanks, all. Wanted the gut check that I’m not horrible for doing so. She has sporadically worked at a certain fast food restaurant between childcare jobs, so I’m sure they’ll take her back and she wont be totally without income or anything.
CHL says
You are 100% making the right decision.
Labels for daycare says
Are there any labels that work best for items going to daycare? Especially with bottles going through the wash.
DS will be the only infant at an in-home center, so I’m less worried about labeling his clothes now.
Anonymous says
I use Mabels Labels for my kids school lunch containers and have never had any issues with them coming off in the dishwasher. I don’t find they stick on clothing as well though. Great for coats/shoes and other rarely washed items, not so great for like t-shirts.
Anon says
Use also use Mabel’s Labels and they’ve never come off in the dishwasher. They’re printed on 3m adhesive so I kind of wonder if everyone else doesn’t use the same thing.
Anon says
Should also say that I also use these erasable labels for food containers and they’ve never come off either: https://www.amazon.com/Multi-Color-Dishwasher-All-Purpose-Organization-Jokari/dp/B00PGS9HXC/
Clementine says
I’ve used NameBubbles and always been very happy with them.
One thing I wish I had done earlier is just get name labels with your last name on them (assuming your kids share a last name). Lots of things that have been through multiple kids – jackets, hats, sippy cups, etc. – would have been more convenient to label with just the last name. Actually, this morning I think I sent the baby in with a jacket with 4 year old’s name in it. They’ll figure out whose it is, right?
OP says
Oh that’s clever. We have a somewhat common last name, but probably not common enough to be a problem.
GCA says
Ha, we do the last name only thing as well – DH’s and the kids’ last name is uncommon enough that it works.
Anonymous says
Seconded. We do The X Family on all our labels.
Anon says
Caveat that one daycare let us do this (for twins, where I really didn’t care who drank which bottle of milk as long as they both got 3 each day) but our second insisted that everything had their full name so that Twin A wouldn’t accidentally get Twin B’s water bottle.
Honestly, I loved our first small daycare and how they were willing to bend some rules for us. B didn’t finish her bottle and A’s still hungry? A got fed the rest of B’s bottle of pumped milk rather than having to make up an ounce of formula (which is what we did at home). Moving on to purees? One bowl, one spoon, alternating bites between the babies (again, what we did at home).
AwayEmily says
Clementine, as someone whose kids don’t have the same last name (daughter has my husband’s last name, son has my last name), thank you for adding that caveat — that was really thoughtful. Also, thinking about this hack is one of the only times I *do* wish my kids shared a last name! :-)
Anon says
I’m so excited one of your kids has your last name, and that they have different ones! My daughter has my last name, which is unusual. I am now divorced from her dad and my new partner and I are talking about having a kid and can’t decide if it’s better to give the kid my last name so the siblings share a name even if they have different dads or his last name so we each have a kid who shares our last name. Everyone I know gave their kids the dad’s last name without thinking about it, so no one can offer real advice or guidance.
Anon says
in this scenario, i think i would give new kid your last name. i think it could be really meaningful to your daughter and make her feel more connected to this new family you are creating. in retrospect, I wish I had pushed to give kiddos my last name bc i only have one male cousin with my last name who is not going to have kids, so the last name will likely die with my generation, while DH has a brother, who is currently childless as he is much younger than us, will likely have kids in the future
Anon says
My best friend’s kids all have her name!
AwayEmily says
I think both are a great idea! I think it depends on how meaningful it is to your partner, too. For us, we each really wanted a kid with each of our last names, so it was an easy choice to do just that. If your partner doesn’t care either way, go ahead and give the hypothetical new kid your name. If he does, then give the new kid his name! I think you can’t go wrong either way. It sounds hokey, but names are not what makes a family (I say this as someone with a lot of blended, loving family units in my own extended family).
Anon says
We’ve used NameBubbles and Sticky Monkey Labels and never lost one to the dishwasher.
Anonymous says
Painter’s tape with sharpie was our bottle and water cup labels and it goes through the dishwasher just fine!
anon says
Any recommendations for casual boots for girls? I don’t need a snow boot; I just want something warmer than sneakers when it gets colder. Rubber sole would be a plus. I’m eyeing the less-expensive Ugg brand (Koolaburra?) but I’m concerned they’ll look terrible after 2 weeks of wear and tear.
Anon says
Target has some cute ankle boots in the Cat and Jack brand. With a pair of thin wool socks, I think they would be plenty toasty. My 3YO has the penelope ones, which I think have been rebranded to another name and they held up really well last year.
anon in brooklyn says
I like the See Kai Run winter boots. They’re waterproof enough that they work as snow boots in light snow, and warm, but not bulkier or heavier than sneakers. We usually buy our daughter a pair as her primary winter shoes.
blueridge29 says
+1 for See Kai Run winter boots. My kids lived in these and were able to pass these boots down after heavy use. I like the light bulk which helps toddlers avoid tripping when wearing boots.
Anonymous says
Blundstones are great for kids in the fall. There is a liner that come out so you can get two sizes out of each pair. They hold up great. I think there is also a sheepskin liner you can get if you want them to be extra warm.
Anonymous says
My kids have Uggs, cute little Chelsea boots from Gap, and booties from Target. One has red cowgirl boots. Uggs are pretty warm- too warm for now when it’s 70 by mid-afternoon in the Boston area. They all have rubber soles.
rosie says
Stride Rite. Check out the Zoe, currently on sale (as are several other styles).
anon says
It’s been forever since I’ve bought something from Stride Rite, but this is the type of style I’m looking for!
Anonanonanon says
My daughter had cheap suede (fake suede I’m assuming) brown boots from H&M last year. I sprayed the heck out of them with weather-proofing spray and they held up looking great until she outgrew them! They don’t have any I like this year, but just sharing that spraying cheap ones may work.
shortperson says
sperry duck boots. they come in cute colors now
Anon says
Can anyone tell me if Hanna Andersson runs long or wide? My kid’s height puts him at one size but his weight puts him at one size lower. Trying to figure out which size to get.
TheElms says
HA definitely runs wide for us, with the exception that all PJs are slimmer but HA PJs are wider than many other PJ brands (I hope that makes sense).
Anon says
I don’t have much experience with Hanna but I always size based on height, not weight. My kid is relatively chunky but even so, we need to use height to get clothing that is big enough.
Clementine says
I would do height. For example, I have a skinny kiddo who by weight is in a 3T or 4T, but height wise, definitely needs a 5 or 5T.
Anon says
i think it runs narrow
Anon says
i think it runs narrow, and short for shirts, but long for dresses
Anonymous says
How old is he? In my experience it rungs wide for babies (at 15 months shirts were wide on my kids), but more true to size for toddlers. At 3, I’d buy for my kid’s height. And yeah, pjs always run small so size up.
Anonymous says
Everything but the PJs and unders is too wide for my skinny child. For PJs, size by height. For unders, size by weight.
LittleBigLaw says
I’ve got to nope out of this bag since I thought it was a camera bag until I read the description.
Anon says
I had not noticed that originally, but now I can’t unsee that.
Anonymous says
I think the point is that it looks like a camera bag. But the style is not for me either.
Anonymous says
Party ideas needed. My 1st grader turns 7 in a few weeks. We are going to do an outside movie/pizza night (sleep-under style) with a couple of her good friends. Two questions:
1. Our plan is to have the party favor be a matching set of doll and kid pajamas. Should these be delivered in person as part of the invitation so the kids wear them to the party, or just sent home in a goody bag? I like the idea of having them in advance, but I don’t want to get too “this is what you must wear” with it.
2. What movie would work for this age group of 6-7 year olds? I’m looking for something more like Descendants and less like Frozen (both of which my kid has seen and liked). We’ve maxed out on Trolls and Frozen around here. It’s close enough to Halloween that I was looking at Halloween movies, but I don’t want to do anything too spooky. Ideally not a 2-hour movie like Descendants but I’ll take whatever ideas you have.
FWIW, on the COVID front, I’ve already socialized the idea with the parents of the girls invited.
Cate says
Zombies! It’s like Descendants (very like Descendants!) but due to the inclusion of zombies could be almost Halloween-y. My Descendants-loving kids are obsessed with it now.
Zombies! says
Agh, maybe stuck in mod, but for the movie question, Zombies is the answer!
Pigpen's Mama says
The Secret Societ of Second Born Royals — it’s awful, but in a way that 6/7/8 yr old girls would love.
And for the PJs, I would drop off early. My 6 year old LOVES to be matching with her friends and/or dolls. I don’t think they will think of it as an imposition.
Anonymous says
This one looks promising. My daughter is the first of her friends to turn 7 and is also much more focused/able to follow plots than her buddies have historically been. Do you think it’s too old?
Pigpen's Mama says
Eh – it might be, my (young) 6 year old watched it with me and did drive me nuts asking questions at first, but enjoyed it. It wasn’t any more complicated than Decendants, but it’s not as flashy, so I think it gives them more time to realize they don’t understand what’s going on.
Kiki’s Delivery Service is a Miyazaki movie about a little girl who is a witch and has to prove herself (so a bit Halloweeny) — it’s cute, not scary, but more grown up than other animated movies. The plot is a bit confusing, but the animation is so interesting that it may still be something they like.
Have they seen Scoob? Brave?
I’m realizing this is a hard age range, especially for something that a few kids would like, there’s not much that is between Frozen/Moana/Tangled (which they sometimes feel to old for) and the tween movies (which they don’t really follow).
Anonymous says
FWIW, I’ve always had trouble getting kids to watch movies at birthday parties. My daughter is like yours–can follow plots and will happily sit through a whole movie–but apparently that’s rare. Most kids seem to think of movies as background noise, not entertainment, and after about five minutes they start running around and looking for something else to do.
anne-on says
I love this idea! For this age group I can absolutely see them wanting to all match, so I’d maybe have them sent as part of the invites, or presented in little ‘amenity bags’ (business class style, remember airplanes?!?) when the girls arrive (maybe water bottles, chapstick, a brush/scrunchie, etc.).
anon says
Hocus Pocus is the clear answer!!
Anon says
i think i would’ve been scared of Hocus Pocus at that age. There is an old Mary Kate & Ashley Olsen movie, Double Double, Toil and Trouble, or there was also a Disney Channel Movie, Halloweentown
anon says
Halloweentown was great, too!
Anonymous says
OP here. That was my first thought but my husband (rightfully) veto’ed it due to too much discussion of v*rgins. I’m not ready to field those questions!
Clementine says
…Holy cow, you’re right.
(I went to a catholic school where we were told ‘Virgin’ meant ‘without sin’. For example, the Virgin Mary. Those nuns were NOT gonna engage in that discussion. Pretty sure that when we watched Hocus Pocus, we just thought it meant a Goody two-shoes.)
Whooops.... says
So, when I was ~ 7/8 I asked my mom what “virgin” meant. Once she recovered from her WTF shock,she asked why I wanted to know — I think because I was singing Silent Night in the middle of the summer (weird kid). So she said “young Christian girl.” Okay, that’s a fine answer, theologically it doesn’t make sense, since Mary wasn’t Christian, but whatever, I give my mom props for thinking on her feet, and we weren’t Crisitian (or Jewish or Muslim) so I just filed that information away.
Until a year or so later, in 4th or 5th grade, when Yvonne ran around the playground asking everyone if they were virgins. Remember how I said we weren’t Christian? Yea. WHOOOOPS!
When I told my mom the story a few years ago, I think she laughed for about 5 minutes straight.
anon says
Hocus Pocus!
anon says
My 6-year-old is obsessed with Zombies!
Zombies poster says
Oh can you share where you found the matching dolls and PJs?
Anonymous says
They are widely available. Search “matching doll and girls pajamas”. I’m letting my kid pick which ones she wants but she’s leaning toward a set from Nordstrom rack.
There is a set of AG official ones but they are for Wellie Wishers (so are the sleeping bags which was my first party favor idea).
octagon says
What about the Nightmare Before Christmas?
Stupid COVID says
I have lost all my focus. Cramming in CLEs, waiting to hear back about an in house offer (COVID accelerated my timeline for bailing on law firm life, and I both feel guilty about leaving and worried I’m not going to actually get an offer), trying to fit 9 hrs of work into a 6 hr day and failing miserably, worried about a friend who’s going thru a lot and we can’t help because of stupid COVID, and then the elections.
I want to scream, but don’t have energy, and need to bill…so I’m venting, going for a walk, while listening to a CLE program, and then will try to get my head back in the game.
rosie says
I am sorry. It is a lot.
I wish state bars were being overall more accommodating. At least relax requirements to allow for all on-demand (and for the states that haven’t relaxed their in-person requirement WHAT ARE YOU DOING). I nearly cried with gratitude when I saw my state’s special statement relaxing CLE reqs for 2020.
OP says
Yea, like naive idiot, I figured OF COURSE they aren’t going to require live instruction this year…I wasn’t optimistic enough to think they’d cut the number of hours. Nope. I should have realized the group of people that still makes you take the bar in a full suit in the middle of July when it’s ridiculously hot and humid, wouldn’t let it go this year.
AND OMG — they pushed the deadline at least and I missed it when I looked a few weeks ago…
Anyway, just feeling better after venting…it’ll get done. I just don’t want to do it, and at least now I can relax a bit on timing.
Anonymous says
Maybe this is a pediatrician question but maybe someone had something similar? Early elementary kid has always been a big eater and now is… not. I wouldn’t worry since I know kids this age have wildly fluctuating appetites, but it ends up being that kid eats like two bites of food all before 5 pm, has a number of enormous meltdowns all afternoon , and then eventually eats a huge dinner and is fine. Kid has also dropped about 50 percentile points in BMI over the last 2 years (again, could be normal as I know kids get a lot skinnier as they grow out of being toddlers). When he does eat, will often eat big meals, though. We have never bought packaged snack food/treats but is that the only way to get kid to eat something during the day? (Don’t want to serve sweet/salty treats to the toddler at home…) Kid has never been picky, loves veggies and fruits, just … not very interested in eating.
Anonymous says
Yeah this is def a pediatrician question.
Anonymous says
Ask for a referral to a registered dietician. Have you tried smoothies for breakfast? Toss in some greek yoghurt and you get a decent chunk of calcium and protein for the day.
One of my twins is a grazer during the day because he’s on the go so much he generally only stops to eat dinner, so I often have nuts/crackers/veggies out and available for snacking. You can also make up a batch of mini muffins and toss in some protein powder. I prefer the mini over the regular size because they can eat them with one hand while playing.
Anonymous says
Have tried these! These are all things he’ll eat if he’s interested in eating, but not otherwise. Kiddo does eat a decent amount of food, just generally not spread out throughout the day so his moods are terrible. Like, we make muffins and he’ll eat them at the one or two times a day he feels like eating, but not otherwise.
Anonymous says
It sounds as if he is at home with you. If so, did he eat regular meals at day care? Are you sitting down to breakfast and lunch with him and requiring him to sit for a while instead of running off to play?
Anonymous says
We sit down for meals and have relatively established snack times- although at this point I’m more willing to provide a snack if one is actually desired outside of regular snack time! Preschool was so long ago now who knows – I think he was eating at least some food at meals, but the provided meals/snacks were not always big enough (eats a lot when does eat- top percentile for height). They did provide what I would consider to be junk food for some snacks (goldfish, chips, veggie straws). Definitely had mood issues in preschool too that would correlate with not eating enough. Has always required verY heavy, balanced meals and snacks to be able to get from meal to meal without meltdowns. Just won’t eat the darned string cheese now!!
Anonymous says
I’m not sure if this is helpful…but my 3yo isn’t super keen on breakfast. We have to explain all the time that if she doesn’t eat something (even just a little) she won’t feel well, won’t have energy to play, and will be in a bad mood. She actually gets it and we can get a few bites in. And we are a family that doesn’t count bites/do clean plates. We really try to let our kids regulate their appetites. But I know it’ll be a disaster if she doesn’t eat anything until 11am.
Anonymous says
Right. I’ve always let him regulate his own appetite but the MOODS. We explain a lot about nutrition and blood sugar etc and it sometimes helps, but a lot of things don’t help if you’re hangry. And we just weighed him and realized he’s way skinnier comparatively than he used to be.
Anonymous says
I’m late to this, but wondering if you’ve considered or tried a bedtime snack or waking him up with a cup of milk (maybe hot chocolate, if milk isn’t cozy enough). My thought is roughly that he may not be focusing well on breakfast *because* he’s hungry; getting some more calories into him between dinner and breakfast could help.
Also, and treading lightly here, you might re-think the Goldfish/veggie straws/whatever–kids are growing fast and need lots of carbohydrates, and you might be able to pair with milk, cheese, peanut butter (or just straight Bamba) to get some fat and protein in for satiety.
Anonymous says
+1 to milk or hot chocolate first thing. My kid won’t eat if she’s hangry.
SC says
Late to this, but I am the type of person who gets hangry and then won’t eat. My mom used to carry granola bars around with us and would hand one to me when I got moody. I’d always, always protest that I wasn’t hungry, and she’d tell me to eat one bite. I’d eat one bite, finish the whole thing, and then be in a better mood. And I’d actually feel hungrier at dinner.
I know you don’t want to serve junk food, but I’d try to find some carby snacks you’re OK with, and offering that as a snack. That could be popcorn, healthy muffins, bananas, small smoothie, or just bars or veggie chips that are better than most.
Anonanonanon says
Sort of tongue-in-cheek (though I’m not sure I’m joking) but, list of things I can spend over $4K a month on instead of a nanny and not worry about supervising a household employee:
-A new toy every day for each kid. Play with the new toy while mommy works!
-A cake for each every week. Have a slice while mommy’s on a call! but only if you’re quiet!
-Renting a house in the country. Play outside and don’t come in until mommy’s off her call!
-Fleeing the country without my family
-Gifts for myself, because the purchase will make me feel something, feel alive, if only for a moment.
Other suggestions?
Anonymous says
Ha, I think $4k is a looooot of cake. ;)
Do you have family you could relocate to be near? That’s something I would seriously consider if I wasn’t comfortable with the risks of daycare (or if/when daycare closes again), and in most cities you could rent a decent place for less than $4k
Anonanonanon says
Both of my parents work and are 1,000 miles away. I receive regular infusions through an HMO so I can’t be gone for too long without swinging back at least once a month to get my infusion and that would be a lot. I wish, though!
Suggestion says
Depending on where you live, probably a mortgage on a bigger house with many extra rooms that have doors you can shut to block out any kid noise! One of them could become a home movie theater to keep the kids entertained.
Anonymous says
I vote for option 4. Can I come with you?
Anonanonanon says
Of course! We will need to forge passports since no one wants to let Americans in right now, but we’ll figure it out.
Anon says
Pretty much the entire Caribbean accepts Americans. I could definitely lie on the beach with a book and a drink for a bit…
Anonymous says
I get the Gifts. We were fortunate to save money from March-Augustish. And now I’m just spending it all on nicer winter clothes for kiddo than we’d typically get, some new cozy WFH gear for me, and WAY too many toys. I’m a little worried about how much we’re spoiling kiddo. But she is an only child, and I figure she’s going to need stuff to entertain her in the winter when playing outside is less appealing.