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Some of the articles of interest to working mothers that we’ve seen around the web recently…
- The Des Moines Register reported that state Rep. Megan Jones has been bringing her newborn to the Iowa Statehouse for meetings and hearings.
- Refinery 29 shared that Target has announced a partnership with Hunter, bringing exclusive versions of the brand’s rainboots, raincoats, and backpacks for the entire family.
- Refinery 29 also tested nine different concealers — from super-luxe to ultra-affordable formulas — and pronounced a clear winner.
- The Strategist shared the best undereye concealers.
- The Strategist also asked a child psychologist to review the Toy Association’s winners of the Toy of the Year Awards.
- Working Mother provided results of a new study that found working moms with no resume gap were three times as likely to get a job interview than stay-at-home moms.
- Harvard Business Review shared why Walmart expanded its parental leave policy, and explained how you can convince your company to do the same.
- NPR’s Marketplace reported that 40 years after the Pregnancy Discrimination Act, many employers still don’t follow the law.
- MSN offered 10 tricks to fall back asleep at night.
- ProPublica reported on a groundbreaking study that offers new evidence that empowering midwives to do more could significantly boost maternal and infant health.
- For your laugh of the week, McSweeney’s shared a list of products that appeal to new moms.
Also, do be sure to check out the news update over at Corporette!
On Corporette Recently…
- We discussed how much makeup you wear for work.
- We traveled back in the Corporette time capsule, including Do you still apply when you don’t meet the job requirements?; the best teas to wake you up, calm you down, and maybe even replace your wine; and should you friend your boss on Facebook?
- We shared the 411 on FIRE: Financial Independence/Retire Early for beginners.
- We suggested how to wear scarves to work.
Did we miss anything? Add ’em here, or send them to [email protected]. Thank you!
burnout and babies says
Talk to me about jobs and burnout and babies. My wonderful boyfriend and I are talking about ttc , which I’m over the moon about. I’ll be 39 if we get pregnant on first try, and have longed for kids for a long long long time, so this is sob-worthy happy news. I currently have a job that involves lots of long hours and travel, has for years, and, I’m getting pretty burned out. My younger self always wanted to be a stay at home mom – my daydreams about life have always been about things like baking bread with kids, going to the park, reading all the library books, making up silly songs together. (And, I’ve gotten to spend lots of time with children, and most of my happiest memories of my life are of moments with kids, so this isn’t all based on fantasy) But I also have come to care a lot about my career, and find a lot of meaning and satisfaction from it, not to mention, money and security are good things. The added wrinkle is we’ll need to move (international) soon, hopefully during my pregnancy. I’m guaranteed a (good) job, but, it’ll be a learning curve again. The move is the last straw that makes me think, I’m just too tired to start all over again, while pregnant, when I’d probably be really happy being a stay at home mom anyway. But I’m also really afraid that if I stay home at this juncture, I’ll never be able to get back into my awesome but specialized career. Oh, and we’d love to have more kids, if the fertility gods smile. Tell me your stories, please?
anon says
Well … don’t hate me, but since you don’t have the added protection of being married, I would not step out of the workforce in your situation.
Anonymous says
Agreed. Absolutely emphatically not.
Jacque says
Here’s my theory: There are only a few scenarios where SAHMs have a fantastic time at home AND a successful career at some time in their lives.
1. YOUNG AND DONE – Women who get married very young, have children in their early 20’s, and stay-at-home while finishing college or working on a graduate degree. When their kids hit pre-K or elementary, they are ready to start their first “real” job at age 28/29 and go on to a great career.
2. 2nd LIFE – Women who wait until later in life to have a family, and step away from a big career to (usually) never return. These women are way more relaxed in their choice, probably because they have a comfortable amount of savings and the confidence that if they needed to go back to work, they could.
It sounds like you’re a #2. I say GO FOR IT! Look at it as an early retirement experiment! Worst case scenario, you go back to work. You’ll still have your work contacts, your references, and your reputation. If you need another job, you’ll find it, although it may not be at the level you left.
I’m not as squeamish about your unmarried situation. Does anyone even get alimony anymore? Child support, yes, but most courts push for the SAH parent to get out and go back to work. If this goes south, you’re going to have to rely on yourself regardless of your marital status. There’s no safety net for any of us, ladies, married or not. But that doesn’t mean we have to live in fear either! Trust your partner, bank your extra income, and follow your dreams! We only get one life.
Anonymous says
I agree with this. I’m 34, by the time I’m 39 I’ll have 3 kids in elementary school and I’m already half-planning to cut to part time or SAHM with maybe some minimal consulting on the side. My career has really taken off in the last couple years, but I cannot keep burning the candle at both ends. Burnout is real and the years with your kids are short, so if staying home will make you happy and it works financially, I would go for it.
burnout and babies says
Thank you for this I think you captured my situation well, and I found your comment really insightful. I had hoped to be a #1, but that ‘s not the life I got, and instead I got the fancy career first. But where I am now is the #2 situation. An early retirement experiment is actually a fantastic way to look at it. Thank you for your encouragement! I think my heart knows I’d love to be home for a while with my babies…it just takes courage to admit that. Thank you for articulating things so well!
anon says
I will just say it impossible to know how you feel about staying home all day with your kids until you have them. For me, I’m honestly a better parent when I’m not “on” all the time. And you might feel differently at each stage! For me, I thought I would be in love with the newborn stage (and I had spent a lot of time with kids too) but it was brutal. I was happy to have an office to go to! That said, you can always quit and then find another job!
2 Cents says
FYI, the first link to the Des Moines Register actually goes to the McSweeney’s article. The photo seems to work to the correct one, though.
Kate says
Oops, thank you for pointing that out! We have fixed the link.
Anon says
I’m about to rain on your parade – feel free to skip if you’re not in the mood.
Are you asking whether you should quit your job and move to another country while pregnant, where you’ll have no means of support for you and the baby in case something happens to your partner (death, job loss, disability?) No, no you shouldn’t.
I understand that it’s super exciting to finally be able to TTC. It IS super exciting. I hope that works out. But please think long and hard about whether it makes sense to quit your job and just hope for the best with the BF in another country. Money and security aren’t just “good things” in the sense that they’re “preferred” – without them, you lose lots of options. You become dependent upon someone else. Your kids becoming dependent upon that single source, too. Is this a country you can legally stay in indefinitely without a job or a marriage? Is the job prospect you’re talking about going to be there in two or three years?
Being a SAHM isn’t just goofy songs and library books – it’s also asking for an allowance to buy groceries and a radical shift in the power balance of a relationship. Please be careful.
EB0220 says
I think this is all really good advice.
burnout and babies says
Thanks for your thoughtful reply, and, no worries about raining on my parade. I probably should have specified that the international move was moving home (!), and we do plan to get married. So that makes things less crazy, and I’m sorry that was unclear – I get exhausted thinking about the move, but, I realize to anyone that’s not an expat the mention of the word international implied moving out of my home country. But yes, money and security is still good, and shifting from having 2 high powered careers to having one person be a SAHM would be a power change… So….maybe I should have asked, how to I move, start a new job, and have a baby all in the same year, when I’m burnout career-wise to start with?
shortperson says
just go for the new job. it’s a lot easier to quit later on if you really want to rather than to come back into the workforce. at least here in america. maybe you’re moving to a more forgiving country.
Anon says
I am 38 with a job with very long hours and frequent travel too and I also feel burned out at times but I think if you can find a job without the travel that will go a long way to feeling better and even moreso if you find a job with no travel and more normal hours. It doesn’t have to be this or no job. It will be hard with the move but try to take a few weeks to destress before starting the new job if you can.
Anxious mom to be... says
Oh it’s late but I’m going to ask for advice anyway — I just found out the doctor I wanted to be my obstetrician has a vacation scheduled for the week I am due. If he’s not there, there is a team of labor and delivery specialists on call 24/7 at the hospital of choice. Having him as my doctor and delivering at this hospital is significantly more convenient in every way (no other doctors at this hospital were recommended to me – I would otherwise go to the hospital a few towns over which would have a lot of traffic — thank you LA). Would you risk it? Anyone here have someone else deliver than their regular OB, and if so, how was that for you? TIA!
Anonymous says
My OB was a group practice, so I never had any expectation that this ONE doctor would be there for me, and TBH I’m not the sort who would care about that anyway, so take this with a grain of salt: Doctors are doctors and you’re going to be doing most of the work. Granted, I had short labors, but an OB was literally in the room for maaaaaybe 10 minutes in all 3 of my deliveries combined. First kid was delivered by a resident, the OB was still en route to the hospital. For my second, the OB was with a different patient and surprise, nurses, I told you I needed to push, you should have called her (no MD was even in the room when the baby came out). All 10 of those minutes we’re with my 3rd baby. All my deliveries and babies were fine.
Unless pregnancy is high risk or you have a complicated medical history, I would stick with the convenient hospital. There’s a decent chance you won’t deliver your due date week, anyway.
AwayEmily says
Agreed with Anonymous — the OBs just show up at the very end. In my experience, the nurses who happen to be on duty make a much bigger difference than the OB — you have WAY more interactions with them (for better or for worse…for my first, the nurses were amazing. for the second, the nurse on duty was brand-new and because she couldn’t figure out how to track my contractions properly, I ended up not having time for an epidural).
V says
Stick with this one!
1) I was 10 days early, you might be too :)
2) The vast majority of OBs in my city (NYC) work as groups with only one doctor on call at a given time, so you rarely get your “own” OB anyway.
I’d be totally fine staying with him.
Anxious mom to be... says
Reposting for the moms site… I just found out the doctor I wanted to be my obstetrician has a vacation scheduled for the week I am due. If he’s not there, there is a team of labor and delivery specialists on call 24/7 at the hospital of choice. Having him as my doctor and delivering at this hospital is significantly more convenient in every way (no other doctors at this hospital were recommended to me – I would otherwise go to the hospital a few towns over which would have a lot of traffic — thank you LA). Would you risk it? Anyone here have someone else deliver than their regular OB, and if so, how was that for you? TIA!