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Sales of Note…
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Waffles says
What kind of charity/philanthropy do you do?
We pay for our helper’s granddaughter’s education. I would like to do more, but I am wary of giving money to organizations (have been burned). Am also introverted, so some types of volunteering can be difficult.
Thank you for sharing experiences and ideas!
Anonymous says
I donated all our baby stuff to a domestic violence shelter.
Anon says
I mostly give to GiveWell
Anonymous says
Right now I’ve got a monthly donation to the diaper bank, and I give to some abortion funds.
Anon says
I don’t away give large sums of money in this stage of life. I plan to give away a lot at the end of my life, but want to make sure my retirement and my kids’ education is fully funded first. We do probably ~$200/month to various causes we support, and I will throw $25 at any friend or colleague who is fundraising for something, assuming the cause isn’t something I’m morally opposed to (wouldn’t give money to the NRA or an anti-choice org or something like that). We plan to match our kids’ charitable contributions from allowance (something I learned about here, I think) but so far they show no interest in being charitable.
I really like to volunteer, especially with causes that benefit children, and I have a flexible and not very demanding job that lets me spend a lot of time on it. Before the pandemic, I volunteered weekly in both an elementary school classroom and a children’s hospital. It was very rewarding. These days my volunteering is all related to my own kid (sports, Sunday school, preschool PTO) and while it has value I miss volunteering for more altruistic reasons. I’m very introverted but I don’t find volunteering draining the same way a party is draining. There’s not usually much pressure to make small talk because you’re focused on the task at hand. And I generally find it easier to talk to kids than to adults.
Anonymous says
+1 to your first two sentences. I am not a super high earner like most of the people who post here, and we are in a very expensive phase of life right now. At this point our priorities are funding retirement and college. We currently make some financial gifts to our church, our local public radio station, and the fantastic animal rescue where we got our dog. Once the kids are through college, I’d like to start making larger gifts to social justice causes as well as one or more of the arts organizations in our city, as we are a very artsy family and have really benefited from these orgs throughout our kids’ lives and it would be fun to be more involved. I’d also like to give more to our church because I have seen the budget and wow are they doing a lot with not much money.
Spirograph says
I used to volunteer regularly (2x/month), but it’s been hard to make time for that in this season with busy elementary-age kids, so I focus on monetary giving.
I give one-time smaller ($100 or less) amounts to lots of places based on current events including IRC, Red Cross, PP, KIND, and various arts or nature/environment orgs, but my larger/recurring donations are to
– Public radio (APM, and my local stations: WETA, WAMU)
– Church
– Poison control
– Smithsonians (including the ntl zoo)
– Local hunger & poverty relief and diaper bank
I also donate items to a local poverty relief organization, diaper bank, or goodwill
Boston Legal Eagle says
I donate money not time at this stage of my life. I have 10 orgs that I give to annually, and then various other orgs or the same orgs throughout the year. Goal is to give about 3-5% of gross income to charities per year.
anonM says
One of my favorite ways to donate is through teachers I know that work in economically disadvantaged schools. One gifts books and other learning materials to her kiddos for the holidays, and we’ve contributed toward fall classroom supplies. Another buys Christmas/holiday gifts for families in her class that need it. For us this works because I know it is going directly to the kids/families, and also because I don’t think it is fair for teachers to paying for all this out of pocket or spending all their time on grants/project proposals.
Anonymous says
I like to do things that feel concrete. For example, there’s an organization in the Bronx affiliated with our church that runs a preschool and summer camp at a low cost for low-income families. I try to sponsor a camper every summer so that they can attend free of charge. Recently, I’ve also been donating to some political campaigns and orgs like Everytown.
Anonymous says
We contribute annually to national, regional, and hyper local charities (examples planned parenthood, regional environmental group, neighborhood head start and food bank); participate in charitable work organized through our religious community; and volunteer semimonthly at a local farm that grows food for local food pantries and with environmental organizations. Trying to increase that as we move out of covid isolation times/round the clock work due to covid and our kids are no longer toddlers.
Anon says
We set a budget each year and divide it amongst international, national and local organizations, being sure to use our employer matches.
We also contribute to local schools and community organizations throughout the year.
Anonymous says
What I do not do is donate to my nonprofit employer. It rankles me very much that I am asked to donate part of my salary back to my employer on the pretext that “donors care about employee giving.” I already proved my dedication to your cause by working for somewhere between 25% and 50% of the salary my peers are being paid in the for-profit world and by putting up with your understaffing, lack of administrative support, refusal to invest in training, etc. My budget for charitable giving is going elsewhere.
Anon says
+1 million from a public university employee! My salary is offensively low; no I will donate it back to you! The one exception is that I do donate to the wonderful university daycare my kid attended. But I give primarily money that is earmarked for a scholarship fund for lower income kids, so there’s a direct benefit to someone that’s not my employer. I’m sure if that fund didn’t exist the university would just cancel the scholarships rather than subsidizing them.
EDAnon says
We just had a giving strategy meeting in my house, so this is timely. We give large(r) amounts through our work charity drives (which are focused locally) and to our church (where our kids are in religious education, though, so it is kind of like tuition). We give recurring to a few national charities, local public radio/television, and a local refugee resettlement agency. Our income went up a lot over the last two years so we are planning to give larger gifts to two causes we care a lot about: reducing infant/young child mortality and fighting climate change. We are working to select charities. In addition, I give $25-$100 to almost everything when asked (GoFundMe for a colleague’s kids after colleague died, school fundraisers, etc.).
In addition, I volunteer at our church and as a poll worker. I also volunteer at my kids’ schools and hope to engage more formally in the PTO in the future.
Mouse says
Well, my morning started off with opening a closet that holds our coats plus pet food/supplies, toddler art supplies, and pantry overflow, to see a mouse scurrying across the top shelf :(
Insult to injury because we had to say goodbye to our cat last week :(
Already contacted landlord. Any tips, besides don’t freak out?
Anonymous says
Get a mouse trap. Clean the closet. Store food in containers. Call an exterminator.
Anonymous says
This. Also, wear a mask while cleaning the closet, especially if you see any mouse excrement. Hantavirus is rare, but it’s not a chance I’m willing to take.
Anon says
Where there is one mouse, there are typically more and in our neighborhood, where there is a food source (mouse) the snakes will follow. In addition to dealing with the known mouse, I would ask your landlord for a full inspection.
After replacing all the insulation in our attic and crawlspace where it was a “mouse playground” with hundreds of mice, we had an exclusion plan done by an exterminator where they seal up all the holes and then do an annual inspection and in return guarantee they will deal with all the mice that get in. We still have traps set in the garage and basement, but in the 6 years since, I’ve only ever seen two mice and only in the garage. That being said, we’ve had two snakes in the basement (one dead, one alive, removed by animal control) and two in the garage (one dead, one alive that I removed with kitchen tongs), so goes living on the edge of the woods.
Anon says
Check the water line behind your dishwasher. When I lived in Manhattan that’s where they always came from.
Anon says
A dear friend is going through a hard time. Big life stressors + little kids + an unbelievably difficult spouse.
She lives close enough that I can drive to see her but far enough that I can’t just pop over to babysit. I want to do more but am struggling with ideas. My normal go to-s would be a delivery gift card but that doesn’t work for her (I offered).
I’ve offered to take the kids for a weekend, have offered a supportive ear, and still… my heart was broken to see my vibrant friend as literally a shell of the person I knew. Any other actionable ideas? Maybe instacart her some fun groceries?
Anonymous says
Go visit for the day and get her out of the house away from her spouse and kids, preferably outdoors. When you have a difficult family situation you feel trapped and sometimes you need someone else to spring you from the prison that is your home.
Anon says
That was actually a goal and part of our plan, but… difficult spouse does things that mean that there is no one to watch the children to do this?
I think a mutual friend and I are going to drive out for the day so we can make this happen and play with the kids.
(Again, I was kind of shocked… like, you know how people often tell you ‘oh husband isn’t helpful some days, they don’t get it’… and then there’s what I saw happening here. That’s why I am just trying to think of something I can do from afar because I also have little kids and all my own busy stuff.)
Spirograph says
You could bring all the kids along in a pinch. I’m not sure how little is little, but I’m assuming toddler/preK. It’s not AS relaxing, but even when my kids were little, it was nice to spread out a picnic blanket at a vineyard or brewery and let them play with bubbles and a ball for a couple hours while I caught up with a friend. Any departure from the grind can be rejuvenating in times like this!
Anon says
What is the spouse doing? Drinking all day? Or playing golf? A lot of context is missing here.
Anon says
It’s not addiction or a Mental health crisis… just a very difficult person. Like, think friend will say ‘hey, there is a hole in the yard that the kid fell in. Can you take the shovel and fill that? Spouse will then say, ‘oh, you are so anxious about the kids getting hurt.’ And then go out and buy a used backhoe and then say he needs to learn to fix the backhoe so he can use it and then she needs to keep the kids away while he fixes the backhoe… and if she offers to grab a shovel and fix the hole he gets very mad and tells her she’s so anxious and that she doesn’t appreciate he’s doing it for her.
And if this sounds absurd – yeah. And that’s why I’m trying to support my friend.
Anon says
With this context (or really any truly unreliable or unstable spouse), my guess is that she’d be really stressed with an activity where she is away from home and her kids are being cared for by crappy spouse. I guess I’d try to find fun age appropriate activities that will entertain the kids while you can chat? Indoor gym? Pumpkin patch? Brewery/winery where kids watch your phone and you guys chat?
Anonymous says
Tea and a blanket won’t help here.
Anon says
Tickets to a bounce or trampoline park so the kids can get their energy out and then go to sleep early?
Anonymous says
99.9% of the time a very difficult person is mentally ill, an addict, and/or abusive.
Anon says
I actually don’t think his behavior sounds abominable. It sounds like what often happens in an atmosphere of mutual blame and distrust (he thinks she’s overly anxious, she thinks he’s handling it all wrong and incompetent). His actions show he was trying to help, just doing it his own way, which the wife didn’t agree with, and it became a mess. I’m not saying she doesn’t have a legitimate reason to be stressed but people on this thread are saying words like gaslighting and narcissist, and that seems extreme.
So Anon says
You sound like a great friend. My advice is to continue to show up for her. I would send a text that says that you will continue to check in with your friend, you will call 2x week (or whatever cadence you are comfortable with), and that there is zero expectation that your friend respond or answer the call if she isn’t up for it. This is what my sister did for me when things fell apart, and it was amazing. I could see her call and if I wanted to talk, great, but no big deal if I didn’t answer.
If you want to get a gift for her, my go-to is a new fuzzy soft blanket and a nice brand of tea, maybe a new bottle of honey too. When things are falling apart, wrapping yourself in a new fuzzy blanket is lovely.
Anon says
Thank you. I actually brought her tea and the idea of a soft blanket is always a winner.
I am almost thinking of sending her like high quality meal prepped dinners for her – something she can just heat and eat. I seriously just want to take this friend and her kids into my house and let her sleep for like 3 days and feed her healthy food and take care of her kids… I am just so worried for this person!
TheElms says
So can you? Invite friend to come stay with kids but without husband? She can frame it to her husband as a break for him and a trip he might not find enjoyable as you guys catch up. Then when she gets to you can you send her to a nice hotel for a massage and take the kids to do something or hire a babysitter to watch all the kids at your house and the two of you go do something fun for an afternoon?
Anonymous says
This sounds like the husband may be experiencing a mental health crisis? If so, you can help your friend by telling her about what you are seeing that is not normal. When someone close to you loses their grasp on reality, you can start to doubt yourself and feel that maybe this isn’t really happening and you are the crazy one. You could even sit with her and encourage her as she makes the necessary phone calls if that would be helpful to her.
So Anon says
x1000. It was a total wake-up call when the rector of my church acknowledged what I was going through and that it was totally not a “normal” part of marriage. I’m reading alot into the story you provided above, and I acknowledge that it was a made-up example, but the words covert emotional abuse, covert narcissism, and gaslighting come to mind. When I finally had a name for what I was going through, I found a trove of information. It felt like I had been looking through wax paper, trying to understand what was happening. When I had context, a name for it, and resources, I could actually see clearly. Also – there is the possibility that you are aware of the tip of the iceberg. I hid the worst of it for a long time because I would tell people the simpler and easier stories, and when I was told that all relationships require work, I would not disclose the worse examples.
Anonymous says
The example above is exactly the kind of thing that a certain paranoid, controlling mentally ill person I used to know would do. She needs to get those kids out now before he ruins their lives and hers.
Anon says
Not all jerks are mentally ill, sometimes they’re just jerks.
Anon says
Assuming the absolute worst about someone is destructive too, especially if it’s pure speculation.
Anonymous says
Op here – I agree with this. And please know that if it were me, I would likely make different decisions… but that’s not where we are.
Instead, I am trying to support her. As a note, my house is not exactly restful (see many small kids) but the new plan is that she goes for a weekend and stays with (child free friend) and her kids have an awesome sleepover at my house…
anonM says
This is so great of you all.
EDAnon says
That’s so nice!
anonM says
You said the kids are little. Maybe send some novel bath things with a note that you hope this gives her a few quiet minutes – a few that my kids love are 6 Packs Light-Up Floating Dinosaur Bath Toys Set, Fun House Kids Foam Soap, and glow sticks. We turn off lights and play music when they get a glow stick, and they’ll play for a long time. You could even send a shower steamer for her (bath salts are nice but that always feels like a chore for me to clean the bath tub. A shower steamer you just put in and it feels fancy. done.).
Backyard play set worth it? says
Are backyard play sets worth it? I have a 4 and 1.5 year old, and live in DC. I am thinking of having a play set with two swings, a slide, and a platform/fort area installed. Have your kids grown with your play set? It would be nice to push my kids into our small backyard now that the youngest is getting older.
Anon says
you are going to get 5 million different opinions on this. my two cents is if you can afford it, it’s worth it, it’s not necessarily my kids go outside and play on it for hours, but when you have 15 -20 minutes it’s easy and great to go outside to do it.
Anon says
YMMV, but I’m in Arlington, and I have a playset and my big kids (8 and 10) still play on it every night after dinner (weather permitting). At this age, they really only use the swings, but they’ll run out there and get the post dinner wiggles out chasing each other on the slide, then get in their swings and talk/swing for another 30 minutes.
A lot of folks “age up” to a spring free trampoline at this age, but I have a younger kid, so I don’t want to put a trampoline out back until the younger kid is able to jump with her big siblings safely. We have a very free range neighborhood, and at this age, the neighborhood kids tend to migrate first to the yards with trampolines, second to yards with swing sets. The 10 year olds will swing for a bit, then hang out in our swing set fort.
The kids don’t usually play outside as much at houses that don’t have any play structures in the backyard (if keeping them outside is an issue — my husband and I work from home, so kids are always allowed over, as long as they stay mostly outside). The absolute favorite yard is the yard that has a zip line/fort + tramp.
Anon says
Ha – I realized I never actually answered your question. Yes, 100% worth it to us in the same climate. It gets the kids outside more than our basketball hoop during pockets of downtime. We are a very outdoor oriented family, but the kids still need a “hook” to get them outside at our house (and I like that neighborhood kids come over here to play and have something to do outside when they do come to play). I also think it’s a know your kid thing. My kids are very, very gross motor oriented (always have been), and they need an outdoor outlet upon coming back from school or after dinner before bedtime routines. You’d probably get a different answer from a family whose kids thrive on quiet reading or relaxation time after dinner.
Anon says
Yes. It’s great because I can just toss my kid outside to burn off steam with minimal supervision (I keep an eye from the window while washing dishes). Ours came with our house and we replaced it (est. 20-25 years old) with a new set for her 4th birthday. Things we thought about when replacing:
– swing bar height; ours is 9 feet so allows for lots of fun even when the kid is older and also allows for a “faster” slide
– different swing options; we have 2 regular swings, a trapeze bar and a disc swing. As DD gets older, the trapeze bar is of more interest and eventually I expect we will add in saucer or tent swing at one of the positions.
– we added monkey bars to our set; while she is too little for them now, we expect they will hold appeal as she gets to the older elementary years and you can also add a “ninja warrior” set to them for added older kid fun.
– platform area big enough for multiple kids (we’ve seen 5 kids up there (2-5YOs) and it has been plenty of room, obviously as kids get bigger fewer of them fit, but very popular). I added some solar string lights to make it more fun for early evenings with the time change.
We’re in NOVA and highly recommend PlayNLearn in Chantilly. They sell Rainbow sets and have a showroom where you can go see the sets in person, plus they do install.
Anon says
Yes! I’m the poster above you, and we did PlayNLearn as well. We spent a rainy Saturday at the showroom, picked our set, and it was in the ground like three weeks later. I was temporarily tempted by some of the other cheaper options online, but ultimately, I’m really glad we had it professionally installed (and we’ve had it maintained by them over the years as well). We are not handy, so I was thrilled to hand it off to a professional, rather than blindly trusting someone from a service like Craigslist to install, which was our other option. A friend’s son was seriously injured when he fell off an outdoor play structure that wasn’t properly installed. Too much risk with too many kids, and with the regular maintenance, our structure is still extremely solid and in great shape after 8 years of hard use.
Mary Moo Cow says
I say yes! We built ours when our kids were about 2 and 4, and brought it with us when we moved. Kids are now 5 and 7 and still play on it. We’ll probably swap out one swing for a tandem or ring swing soon to extend its useful life a bit longer. I remember having a playset as a place to just get out of the house when I was an older kid; I didn’t always swing but I could go read in the house part for hours.
anonM says
If you live really close to a good park, probably not. Since we moved and are further from parks, it is great. I honestly enjoy swinging with them a lot.
Anon says
Yes, we’ve loved ours. Yours are a great age.
Anon now says
My 1st grade DS has been hit 4 times since starting school 4 weeks ago, by at least 2 different kids. His teacher brushed off the first one (a kid who had also hit him last year ran up to him during recess and, unprovoked, hit him in the eye, telling my kid “you don’t even punch like a boy”; another kid witnessed and told one of the playground monitors, who sent my kid to the office to get an ice pack for his eye; nothing further was done, and no one notified us that it had happened until our son told us that his eye was still hurting the next day). Yesterday a different kid punched him in the nose (after scratching his neck unprovoked last week during lunch, hard enough to leave a mark), and the teacher emailed us, opening with “Maybe he should wear a helmet and pads to school?”. She saw the whole thing, confirmed that it was completely unprovoked. I pushed back this time, pointing out that this seems like more than playground roughhousing, and she said that part of it is that DS is a forgive-and-forget kid (true) who is well-liked and plays happily with everyone. Didn’t have much more to offer about how to stop this from happening.
I’m pretty angry, but could use an outside perspective. Am I off the mark here for wanting to set up a meeting with the teacher and expecting more? DS came home yesterday saying, “Why does everyone keep hitting me for no reason?” He’s youngest in his class, and there’s a lot of redshirting at our school, so some of his classmates are almost 2 years older than he is.
Anonymous says
Oh, wow. At most elementary schools wouldn’t hitting another student result in automatic suspension? And if these kids are all redshirted, aren’t they at least 7? That’s way too old for physical aggression to be tolerated in school.
The teacher’s victim-blaming is ridiculous. He is getting attacked because he’s a nice kid?!? I would be talking to the principal.
Anon says
FWIW at that age and our school hitting definitely doesn’t result in automatic suspension. And it’s actually a really problematic assumption because for a lot of kids in tougher circumstances automatic suspension means parents taking off a day that they can’t afford to or a kid being unsupervised at home.
There’s definitely hitting and kicking on the playground of my kids’ private school. Mostly the girls? And actually it’s the opposite in DS’s class where the youngest kids are a bit more immature and tend to wrestle and horse around more. But all that being said, this is kind of crazy. Does the school have a counselor? I’d try to loop them in asap if so. I’d start there and potentially escalate to principal depending on how things go.
Anonymous says
Not saying that the hitter should be suspended, but that is absolutely what would happen if a kid attacked another kid out of nowhere at our public school. Unless it was one of the known bullies, who would get a pass for being “troubled.”
Boston Legal Eagle says
Our nurse calls us every time our son goes to the nurse’s office, even for accidental bumps/scrapes so your situation seems like it should definitely merit some attention. No one told you about these incidents except your son, and then in a passing email from the teacher?! The teacher’s attitude is pretty concerning too. I would schedule a meeting with the principal if I were you. To me, this is not normal playground stuff, this sounds like bullying.
Pogo says
I was freaked out that my son was hit as well – from daycare where we got detailed incident reports, to literally nothing from the school except my son’s account. I posted in our local moms group and found out this is sadly the norm; however I was encouraged to speak up if it happened again. It turns out this particular child has behavior issues, and once identified, he received a 1:1 aide and is no longer unmonitored at recess (or any other time for that matter). So in the end, the situation was addressed without me having to come forward, but I definitely would have if it had happened again. I would escalate in your case since they clearly know what’s up and aren’t addressing it.
Anon says
wait, the teacher literally wrote that your child should maybe come to school with a helmet?!? i do not think that you are totally off the mark. I would probably try to approach this meeting from a more collaborative perspective, though I would be livid inside. this sounds so inappropriate!
CCLA says
Yeah that line from the teacher would have me seeing red. Totally inappropriate. I’d try (with difficulty) to talk to her calmly about the situation and also call out how inappropriate that line is.
Also since these aren’t accidents I would definitely want a better understanding of what’s being done about it (other than the helmet suggestion ffs). Agree with others tho that the teacher may not be the one in charge of recess.
go to the principal says
I’m normally a go to the teacher first kind of person, but at my kids’ school, recess is the responsibility of playground monitors, who aren’t overseen by teachers (though teachers do have a rotating schedule to help out).
Given this, I’d make an appointment to talk with the principal ASAP. Your child has a right to be safe at school and certainly not to be blamed for being a being a victim.
You have every right to be angry. Even in toddler/preschool classes where it’s common for children to be learning how to use their words, teachers work hard to teach kids how to behave and don’t blame the victim.
OP says
Thanks, all. I appreciate the temperature check. To be fair, I believe the teacher was joking about the helmet and pads, but when it’s the opening line of an email about our kid getting hit (again), the humor did not land. She was our DD’s teacher last year, and we’ve generally had good experiences with her, so this turn of events has been upsetting. We emailed her to set up a phone call, as I think our email communication is not working well. We’ve cc’d the principal on all of our emails about this, too.
I don’t expect (or even want) the scratching-and-hitting kid to get suspended. I’ve volunteered in their classroom enough to get to know him, and it’s clear that school is a struggle for him. I’m friendly with his parents, and I know they’re frustrated and trying really hard on his behalf. It’s not a great situation. And…I still don’t want him to hit or scratch my kid, and I want the school to take it seriously before my kid starts hating school.
Anonymous says
If the primary aggressor is a kid with known issues, IME you will not get far asking the school to protect your kid. In our school these kids are allowed to do whatever they want at the expense of the other kids. There was a kid in another class who literally threw chairs on a regular basis, and instead of removing the child from the classroom the school came up with a “safety plan” whereby the rest of the class left the room when the kid had an outburst. I have posted before about my child’s being assigned to be the “friend” of the class bully. So many other examples.
Anon says
I have always felt awful for kids who struggle so badly with school and have no way out. I really believe is not good for the kids who want to be at school and benefit that they’re attending alongside kids who are essentially imprisoned there.
anonamama says
Hi hi. Back from first long work trip abroad (survived, thrived, all of the feelings), now returning to normal life. I thought by holding LO’s upcoming birthday party outside the home would reduce the amount of work, but it is essentially a blank slate of a room with a 20 minute activity hosted by the facility. Party Start 10:30; Activity 10:45-11:10, Party Room 11:10-12:30. Food covered, now I need some hive recs on two things 1-an easy game/activity for ages 2-10 (bulk of these are toddlers) and 2- a simple way to decorate the space with minimal effort.
thanks as always!
Anon says
what kind of activity is the party? that will help me give ideas for the other part. and yes, next time find a different place that will cover more of this for you. where we live a lot of the party places have the activity for 45-60 min and then the party room for half an hour. choose 1-2 colors or a ‘theme’ and go to party city or oriental trading or target and get disposable plastic tablecloths, plates, and some balloons or a banner and that’s all you need.
anonamama says
A 20 minute train ride around the area. Which may take a little longer but yes, lesson learned. thank you!
Anonymous says
Collect a bunch of big shipping boxes, add construction paper wheels and smokestack, and let the kids go to town decorating the “train” with crayons. And second the suggestion for tons of balloons.
Anon says
crayons/markers, and train stickers and/or oriental trading and amazon have wooden train cutouts the kids could color in. it will be great!
Cb says
Honestly, I was at a similar birthday a few months ago and there were loads of balloons and the kids ignored the activity in favour of balloons. So I’d just go overboard on those. And maybe some sort of beanbag activity?
CCLA says
We recently had a big party in a community room and I had the same stress and way overbought but the absolute biggest hits were (1) just scattering a bunch of construction paper, sheets of stickers, and buckets of crayons on the tables, and (2) extra ribbons and scarves, which they just ran around the giant room with (only good if you have lots of extra space). Given your formal activity is a ride on the train, I’d lean into the crafting for the time after. If you want to get more formal than just coloring paper, get some train-related printouts or some paper hat decorating stuff.
It’s surprising how little decor is needed to say “party”. Banner, 1-2 bunches of helium balloons, matching tablecloth and paper dishes. One thing that I did this time that I had never tried before was table skirts for the food tables – gives a little more festive air and bonus hides all the extra boxes of stuff that I had stashed away in case we ran out of anything.
anonM says
Recently hosted a bunch of 2-6yos, and the hits were definitely the little fall themed stamps, and then little metal tins with pom poms in them. Some kids liked the other stuff, but those ones almost all the kids got excited about. As for decor, I’ve been impressed with some of the simple Target theme party decor things. Mini balloons, banner, etc.
Bette says
At our recent toddler party I bought a big blank cardboard playhouse for like $30 and put out buckets of crayons and sheets of stickers – huge hit, the kids loved decorating it and going in and out of the playhouse. We still have it at home months later, it’s held up well and continues to be a source of endless entertainment.
https://www.amazon.com/Easy-Playhouse-EP1001/dp/B005SU8DXS/ref=asc_df_B005SU8DXS/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=167126638032&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=5328293152016350558&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9013529&hvtargid=pla-465755188712&psc=1
Anonymous says
Don’t need advice, but hoping for commiseration I guess. ALL my kids are sick: strep and RSV. It is October. I am not looking forward to four more months of this.
Anon says
i’ve already had 3 1.5 week long colds in the two months my kids have been in school. i had finally started to get back into exercising and all of my efforts were wiped out and now i’m struggling to restart. the best part of the past two school years was the lack of constant illness.
Anon says
+1 I’m really struggling with the constant illness this year. Nothing “serious” so far (i.e., no Covid, no flu, no bacterial infections that required a doctor’s visit) but it’s just been cold after cold and one of the colds resulted in a bronchitis that took me two or three weeks to fully kick. Just exhausting.
Anonymous says
Yep. Apparently society has learned nothing about the importance of ventilation, masking, and requiring sick people to stay home. I know kids get sick but schools and day cares are unnecessarily germy and it seems like society would be more productive if we did something about it so kids could focus on learning and parents weren’t constantly sick themselves.
Anon says
Especially when studies show that cleaner indoor air improves learning outcomes, and when better indoor air quality is currently required for livestock than for school kids!
anonM says
Commiseration for sure. We got home from our first weekend away with both kids back home with grandparents, and DD had a nasty cold and was up half the night. So tiresome.
Anon says
My 13 y.o. has a moderate case of acne, mostly on forehead and temples. Currently, my teen uses CeraVe facial cleanser in the shower (PM) and a sunscreen in the morning. Suggestions on what additional skincare product I can provide to combat outbreaks while still keeping routine simple?
Anonymous says
Nothing OTC works. I would make an appointment with the dermatologist and have her try Differin while she’s waiting, just to be able to demonstrate that she’s tried it.
Chl says
I like the cerave acne benzoyl peroxide face wash
Anonymous says
Wash face in morning too. Differin
Anon says
I find that Cerave, Cetaphil, and similar cleansers are pretty ineffective. I kept trying them but even on my adult skin they wouldn’t wash off something like sunscreen. I would upgrade to something that is a little better at cleaning. If you want something acne-focused, maybe a tea tree oil product like Desert Essence. Really though, any standard cleanser would likely be an improvement.
Anon says
Benzoyl peroxide or salicylic acid are the ingredients I typically expect to see in “acne” specific cleaners if you want to switch out the Cerave.
Sunscreen isn’t always non-comedogenic or great for sensitive skin; switching out to a sunblock that is non-comedogenic could be another thing to try without adding a third product.
But based on the location, have you considered whether it’s more of a shampoo issue?
Anonymous says
Based on the location it’s worth a trip to the derm–could be something other than acne.
TheElms says
If its on the forehead and temples, is your teen washing that part of their face when they wash their face? It is an easy place to miss because its close to the hairline and generally they want to keep their hair dry (if they aren’t washing it in the shower) so they don’t wash close enough to the hairline. Other culprits could be bangs.
CCLA says
Add a wash in the morning to make sure face is clean before sunscreen. Consider double cleansing at night first using an oil-based cleanser to remove the sunscreen residue. But also seconding the benzoyl peroxide that stuff will bleach if not entirely rinsed off!) or salicylic acid wash recs and derm appointment.
Anon says
Temple and forehead make it sound like it could be conditioner. Make sure she is washing her face after her hair.
It could also be bacteria on a hat. Does she wear any helmets or hats?
Anonymous says
Do they still make those slanted wooden nursing stools without sandpaper-type nonskid strips? I need a footrest for my desk suitable for use with bare feet. I found one cheap bamboo on the ‘zon, and it’s so flimsy that it rocks all over the place. Of course I got rid of my old nursing stool, and I can’t find one on the web.
Anon says
My Brest Friend has a nursing stool. I bought a cheaper one from amazon (StrongTek) that is pretty sturdy, but does have a rubber nonskid thing on it.
SF says
Talk to me about speech delays, particularly if you chose not to do therapy. My two year old (august birthday) is really good at communicating – without words. He has some words but can only put two together. When I went to the pediatrician in August we agreed to see how he did after a few months in preschool. He’s definitely learning more words and the teachers are able to figure out his needs, but he isn’t stringing three words together and just doesn’t seem super motivated to move from grunts to words. He’s also still missing two of his bottom front teeth and is quite drool-y. He’s a second born and I’m inclined to wait a bit more, so ideally would like to hear from people who waited and their kid figured it out but also from others if speech therapy was a good use of time.
EP-er says
So both of my kids were in speech therapy, starting around 2 — but they didn’t have any words. We went once/week – but our therapist joked that you can only learn much in 30 minutes, and really what she was doing was teaching the parents/caregivers what to do the rest of the week. We started with some basic signs (help, more, milk, please, thank you) so that the communication was established. We had to stop anticipating needs and make them ask for things. (I think that this is a big one, especially for second kids who don’t need to ask.) I would sign up for an early intervention evaluation, because that might take a bit of time before you can get in. In the meantime, read up on some early language strategies and see if you can make any progress. He might make progress just being in preschool, too!
Anon says
I would sign up for an EI assessment…even if he doesn’t qualify, it’s nice to have an objective professional weigh in, and they can often give you some ideas and strategies to try in your own. I had my 20-month-old evaluated because he barely even babbled, but had excellent receptive communication skills/understanding. He ended up having a language burst around 22 months and by two was saying a decent amount of things. But even in NY, where the bar to qualify for services is really high, they want to see 50 words by age 2
Anon says
I’d consider getting recommendations for what to work on from a therapist and then just doing those things at home. In person therapy is questionably effective for a 2 yo. We have a local speech therapy place that will do consults of this type.
I have a 9 yo who was flagged for speech delays as a 3 yo. We haven’t done therapy as the therapists determined it wouldn’t help with her specific delays, so we just work on it at home. She’s still behind for her age, but does continue to improve. The bar just keeps moving too.