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I have always admired MZ Wallace’s line of intelligent, lightweight bags, and — while a lot has changed with two kiddos in my life! — that admiration hasn’t changed. There are a bunch of styles to choose from, but I like this Jane bag — great size, lots of pockets, easy-wipe nylon. Love it. The pictured bag is $365 at Nordstrom. MZ Wallace ‘Jane’ Handbag Here’s a lower-priced alternative. (L-3)Sales of note for 4.18.24
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
Philanthropy Girl says
This bag looks awesome on the inside. But am I the only one who hates the long tags on the zippers? I thought it was fringe (shudder) at first.
NewMomAnon says
My assistant has been making lots of comments about my schedule and lack of hours lately, and this morning pointedly told me that she “noticed” that my Fridays are blocked off and shouldn’t I rethink that since I always come in on Fridays and need the extra work? I don’t quite know how to take her comments, and it makes me anxious to hear it constantly.
I’m supposed to be part-time, and the initial arrangement was a shortened workday and taking Fridays off. Fridays off didn’t work (work comes in from partners Wednesday afternoon, I do it Thursday, partner wants to follow up Friday and then follow up with the client on Monday, etc), so I started coming in on Fridays – but I still like to block them off so people don’t put meetings on them without my permission, and so I can take them off if I don’t have any reason to come in. And the shortened workday has turned into M-F, 9:30-5:30, with work after kiddo goes to bed 2-3 nights a week. And yet, I’m still not hitting billable hours and still getting judgmental comments from my assistant when I step out for personal meeting mid-day….
I don’t know what I’m asking here. Maybe just commiseration? Thoughts on how to drum up additional hours or quell the side-eye from my assistant? It’s been a tough week and I see more coming in the near future….
Watermelon says
That stinks. Can you tell her that your hours and shedule are between you and the partners? You need her help with scheduling within the parameters you set, but you don’t need help setting the parameters.
Pigpen's Mom says
Ugh, that has got to be stressful. I went to a reduced schedule, but I still find that it’s pretty much a full-time job (40hrs a week), rather than the 50+ hrs a week it was before baby. So I have so much less ‘free’ time than I thought I would AND I’m still worried about making billable hours.
Regarding hours — how long have you been back? I found that the first month or so I was back things were slow as it took a while for partners to realize I was back and had time. I’ve been with the same group for over four years before my pregnancy, so I imagine ramp-up time if you’re newer may be longer. I also took the opportunity to seek out partners that I hadn’t worked with much in the past and let them know I was available for work.
Based on back of the envelop math, I figured even at a reduced schedule, I regularly needed to be in the office about 7-8 hours a day, 5 days a week + work from home a few evenings because I wasn’t billing all my time at work. That helped me adjust my expectations for how much I needed to be around.
As for your assistant –I think it depends on her general personality/why she’s making those comments — if it’s because she’s a busybody, then Watermelon’s suggestion is great. If it’s because she’s hearing things about your schedule/availability from higher-ups, then it may be something to take into consideration.
Can you further reduce your hours? I know a few new moms who have done that — started off at 80% then went down to 60%. That’s very much a know your group/firm and your finances issue though!
NewMomAnon says
My group encouraged me to drop to 60% time while I was pregnant and struggling emotionally. I’ve been back almost a year at 60%. I waver between feeling supported and being paranoid that they want me to leave but won’t say anything.
I’m in the middle of a divorce, so financial issues are front and center at the moment. I know it would be fair for me to drop my billable hours even more, but I really can’t afford to do that and still pay for full-time child care. I figure that I need to bill about 24 hours a week to hit 60%, which is about 6 hours a day if I’m in the office 4 days a week. That should be possible in an 8 hour day with some work at night, but there just isn’t enough work coming in to keep me busy.
I think Pigpen’s Mom nailed it – I don’t know why my assistant is making these comments, and it freaks me out to think that she might be hearing things that I’m not hearing. I think there is only a slim chance of that, since she doesn’t socialize much and doesn’t work with or near anyone in the “power circles” in our firm. But it still makes me nervous.
Pigpen's Mom says
Maybe just ask her straight out — if she has heard things, maybe she’d tell you, or that may be enough to stop the comments.
Can you take over your scheduling, or is that not done in your office?
Regarding work flow — you may already being doing this, but have you gone to partners and let them know you’re available for work? It took me several weeks of doing this for my workload to get to where it needed to be. Or is there a main person who organizes work assignments. It could be that there isn’t enough work right now, but at least this way you’re making it known that you’re trying to get all your hours.
NewMomAnon says
I’m a specialist, so my work flow tends to come from the entire firm, and work is very light right now firm-wide. But yes, I do need to go out and advertise my availability more.
My assistant doesn’t manage my schedule; people I work with regularly tend to call me directly to schedule meetings, but partners I don’t work with as much just put meetings directly on my Outlook calendar and expect me to show up with no prior discussion. I was getting last-minute calendar invites to come to 3 pm meetings on Friday afternoons when I had no other reason to be at the office, and it was driving me buggy. I guess I could open Fridays back up, but it sucks that I’m only paid 60% time but need to be available and in the office 100% of the time. Grrr….
Meg Murry says
What if you just opened up Fridays before noon (maybe 10-12), and planned another day of the week to be the one you weren’t in the office or worked from home – maybe Mondays or Tuesdays?
I’d also ask your assistant if she is suggesting that because people are complaining about your availability on Fridays, or if it’s just because she’s noticed you always block it off but are there anyway.
Could you do some of the meetings via phone, and email documents back and forth or have your assistant scan paper copies to you?
mascot says
That’s a tough spot because you don’t want to create the impression that you are unavailable when you have capacity (to other partners, not your asst). Can you work out a system with your asst where you get to review any appt. requests?
And pigpens mom makes a good point, you might want to see what’s prompting her comments. I like to put the word out there, including to my asst, that I have capacity in case she gets remarks from more senior folks.
Anon says
I also work a part time schedule where I’m in the office certain days and not others. I would go around advertising availability and also leave Fridays blocked off. If someone needs an appointment, they have 4 other days per week to choose from. You could also make it known (if it works for you) that you can be available on Fridays to review emails periodically and respond to urgent issues and talk via phone when necessary. This is what I do and it works fine.
Anonymous says
I have a question about baby pictures. We didn’t do newborn pictures because 1) i was totally overwhelmed and 2) I wasn’t interested in dropping a grand on pics when we have a new expense and my hubs just got laid off. Now the babe is coming up on 3 months and I would like to have some done (but again don’t want to spend a ton of money). Has anyone tried a place like Target or JC Penney? Thoughts?
In House Counsel says
With my first, I was overwhelmed and never got around to getting baby pictures until about the 6 month mark. We did use the JCPenney portrait studio to get several shots at 6/9/12/18/2 yrs marks and they were fine but nothing super special. We are glad to have them to at least have something to document her growth. With my second, I’ve managed to get a portrait session done and found someone who was fairly reasonable through a friend. If you can find someone who is looking to build their portfolio, you may have luck. Long story short, JCP portrait studio was fine but recognize the pictures won’t look like your typical lifestyle portrait session with a professional photographer.
Pigpen's Mom says
+1
I’d ask around to see if you can find someone who is starting out a photography business — through friends/Craigslist/mom’s groups. Maybe ask here if you want to give out your location.
I also was given the advice (second hand) that it may be better to wait until your baby is sitting up for a photo shoot. I’ve been too overwhelmed to book anything myself, but now that my daughter is sitting up, I think it’s time!
ADE says
I don’t know what your budget is, but there are a lot of photographers that will do mini sessions (30 minutes or so) for around $200 and they can be totally worth it!
NewMomAnon says
We did pictures at Target, and it was a disappointing experience – they take 25 shots, doesn’t matter if they are good or not, and then you pick your favorites from those 25. Several of ours were a little blurry or out of focus, and a few more involved our kiddo making really unusual faces. Then they charge you $250 for the CD (I think that’s the price), and try to upsell you on a bunch of other prints that are very expensive. However, some of those pictures were really nice, so it wasn’t a total bust – just, I think it is worth the money to look for a private person instead of a big box store portrait studio. And if you do go with the Target/Penneys pictures, plan to just buy the CD of pictures and then shop around on Shutterfly, Snapfish, etc for your prints.
JC Penney, Target, and most of the other big box portrait studios use the same vendor, so it’s going to be the same experience no matter where you go.
After we did our Target photos, we had a family friend do a more casual photo shoot at our house and the pictures were amazing (he took 500 pictures and whittled it down to the best 50-60). He charged us $100 and set them up in an online photo site so we could order from Shutterfly or share with friends.
sfg says
Holy cow, they charge $250?! For that I would definitely seek out a photographer locally.
Mrs. Jones says
We’ve taken photos at JC Penney twice a year since son was born, and it’s worked great. Look for coupons to make it a real bargain.
EB0220 says
I often see reasonably priced mini-sessions posted in my local mom groups.
Meg Murry says
My parents take my kids for pictures at JCP, and its in the “OK but not amazing” category, and it depends how decent the person you get that day is.
The last time we did them, the person told us one of their metrics is to add stupid captions to the bottom of the pictures like the kids names and date, or words like “My FAvorite toy” because someone thinks they add value/make people want to buy the pictures, but she understands that some people don’t. This was the case fr us – the 1st session almost all the decent pictures had a stupid caption and we didn’t buy a lot of them for that reason. The second time with the person who explained about the captions metrics, she uploaded the pictures both with and without captions and we were much happier. She also was more understanding and ASKED us if we liked certain poses or backgrounds, while the first one just did a bunch, saying “oh, it will be so cute!” even when my mom tried to protest they weren’t our style and not to bother.
In short – tell them you want no caption options, push back against backdrops and props you dont like, make sure you look for coupons/coupon codes (don’t pay full price) and buy one of the option where you can pick out your prints later online or just get a CD, because you dont want to have to pick out immediately after the shoot when baby is fussy. They won’t be the amazing awesome pictures some pros do, but they are definitely a step above just a million mediocre smartphone snapshots, and good for giving to grandparents.
Alternately, my husband is really good at taking 100 pictures in a row to find the one decent one where kid isn’t looking goofy or blinking, so you could just give it a shot yourselves first and hopefully come up with 1-2 cute ones.
Anonymous says
Friend or friend’s SO with a DSLR? They’d probably do a better job than JC Penney.
Anon for this says
Hi ladies,
I am right at 38 weeks pg and I am looking for some advice/commiseration. Everything is good with everyone’s health, we’re getting close to being ready, and I’m scaling back at work per doctor’s orders because I’m so freaking exhausted. I’m writing because I’m a combination of very overtired and very hormonal, and it’s taking a toll on my emotional sanity. I haven’t felt this way since I was 14 or 15 years old– it is very difficult to not make every little thing A Thing With Greater Significance, and I’m increasingly paranoid about whether my dear sweet husband loves or appreciates me (he does, but nothing kills that faster or easier than your partner constantly accusing you of NOT doing those things). It’s driving me nuts because even though I’m aware of it, I can’t seem to stop my mind from going to those places…can anyone relate? Suggestions for coping strategies beyond just resting? It’s only a few weeks (god I hope so), but every day is a struggle right now.
Pigpen's Mom says
Rest, cut back at work even more if you can afford to do so. Just accept the crazy.
That’s not super helpful advice, so I’ll commiserate instead! I had never been as miserable as I was the last two weeks of pregnancy — I didn’t work until I delivered, but peaced out a week before my due date. I then sat around at home like a beached whale, took short waddles around the neighborhood, did a little shopping, and went to a few movies. I basically gave myself permission to be unproductive for the first time since probably middle school. I didn’t try to ‘enjoy the last few days’ or sleep while I could (I couldn’t sleep, btw), any of that other bullcrap. Granted it sucked when my baby was a few days overdue and I was bored out of my mind, but it really was so much better than TRYING to be productive and sane.
It will be over soon, I promise, but I also realize that’s so much easier to say after delivery!
mascot says
Can you tell your husband that you know that the hormones are making you crazy and you may not be able to control them despite best efforts? I had to do this with my husband and it helped him not take it personally. Also, can you make a list of things he says or does to show love and appreciation and refer to it when you feel yourself questioning things? Fresh air, sunshine and self-care treats may help too.
Merabella says
This! I started crying about the mail -the mail! – last night, and I was just like “I know I’m being hormonal/crazy, just letting you know!”
Merabella says
Cut back if you can, because it sounds like you were able to tread water, and even little things make it feel like you are drowning. Practice self care – go get a mani/pedi or see a movie like Pigpen’s Mom suggests, eat out for lunch somewhere you really enjoy.
Also, tell your doctor about these feelings. One of my friends had these feelings, and they were a precursor for PPD, and you want to make sure you are taking care of you! I know that sounds scary, or at least it does to me at 39 weeks – but better to let them know that this is where you are so you can be on the lookout.
NewMomAnon says
I would talk with your OB – I developed serious anxiety and depression during pregnancy, and it is a big risk factor for PPD. I was able to find a therapist, psychiatrist, and a bunch of other rescources while pregnant that I would have really struggled to pull together postpartum. I would also involve your husband in your care, so he knows what is going on and can be a part of your care team. New moms can be so isolated, and that’s really unfortunate.
On the work front – I decided to keep going to work even though I wasn’t very productive, because I needed the distraction and didn’t feel comfortable being alone. Do what you need to do, whether it’s coming to work and being distracted or staying home or getting manicures. These few weeks will be just a blip in your life, no need to be a superhero.
pockets says
a huge YES to the last sentence. I think it’s really hard for pregnant or new moms to lose sight of the fact that a few weeks here or there are so inconsequential. Two non productive weeks at work are nothing in the span of your entire worklife, especially if it makes you more sane and less anxious.
mascot says
Yeah, if the anxiety is reaching a point where you are ruminating and getting caught in the undertow, talk to your OB and see what you need to do. Mine ramped up post-partum and it took me far too long to realize that this was something more serious than hormonal fluctuations.
EB0220 says
Thanks to the above thread on newborn photos (thank you!) I’m planning to do a mini photo session with my two girls in a few weeks. They are three and 9 months. We’ve never had professional photos done before and I need ideas for outfits. Any ideas? I don’t want to be too matchy, so I’m leaning toward just choosing outfits that don’t clash and look good on each of us, but I would love some ideas!
Carrie M says
This isn’t super helpful, but I looked on Pinterest for ideas – there are tons of posts there by photographers on ways to coordinate families’ outfits. Then I laid out two options, snapped cell phone photos, and emailed them to my photog (and my sisters) to get their thoughts. I was really happy with how they ended up. We all wore jeans; I wore a neutral sweater (gray), my husband wore a color, and my daughter wore a floral top that included grey, blue and the color my husband wore.
EB0220 says
Great idea to take pictures. Thanks!
JJ says
One thing I’ve learned from a friend about coordinating photo shoots with little girls: Have one of them wear a printed dress/sweater/top. Then use the colors in that print as everyone else’s clothes. So, blue/pink/white print dress on one daughter, have other daughter in blue dress, husband in white, you in pink. It seems to really work.
EB0220 says
The printed multi-color top seems to be a theme! Makes total sense. Thanks!
Merabella says
May be too late for this, but Oh Joy! has a “Dressing the Babe” series for her two daughters who are similarly aged – might be helpful.
PregLawyer says
I got my 1-hour glucose test results yesterday: 140. The test result printout says standard range is <= 140. My doctor didn't call, but the results came in at the end of the day. I know from reading online (ugh, online pregnancy information) that a lot of docs schedule a 3-hour if your results are over 130, or over 135. I just called my doctor's office to ask if they are going to want a follow-up. Now I'm just waiting for my doc to get back to me.
Ugh. This is frustrating.
Meg Murry says
Ugh. I failed the 1 hour both times, and passed the 3 hour, but ugh. Did the 1 hour make you sick feeling? I felt queasy for the one hour, and like I was almost going to throw up the whole time for the 3 hour – which was awful because they told me if I threw up we’d need to do the whole thing again.
For the 2nd kid, I had a great nurse/technician, and she made me a little bed of the lounge chairs with pillows and blankets, and told me the best way to get through it was with sleeping and fluff like people magazine – the people that try to power through it or even work are almost always the ones that puke. My brain also felt super fuzzy, so there was no way I could have gotten anything done after, and I was so drained I called my husband to come get me, I didnt feel OK to drive.
Chances are if you tested borderline you’ll be OK, but the 3 hour test was awful for me, although I’m greatful it wasn’t actual GD.
PregLawyer says
I just felt kind of crappy after the 1-hour – nothing specific, just generally crappy. I also ate a lunch right before I drank the drink, because my doctor said to treat it like a normal day. My blood draw was at 1:15, so I ate lunch at 12:00 and drank the drink at 12:10. In retrospect, maybe I should have had lunch after?
I also just don’t want to do the 3-hour because I would have to take a whole afternoon (day?) off work. And fast. Fasting does NOT make me a happy camper.
I’m sorry you puked! But great that no actual GD.
(former) preg 3L says
I’m SHOCKED that you were allowed to do yours without fasting. I had to do mine at 8am after 12 hours of fasting. My number was below 100. If your doc isn’t worried, don’t be worried.
Meg Murry says
Yes – if you did it without fasting, that’s probably why your numbers are high – unless there is a change in protocol, you are probably fine. Get explicit instructions on how to do the 3 hour – I had to fast for something like 12 hours and then do the test first thing in the am – but luckily the lab was very close to my house and opened at 7 am
BB says
I had the same experience with starting around 7 am for the 3 hour, so the fasting was not a big deal at all. My one hour results were also borderline and my 3 hour came back totally normal, hopefully will be the same for you! I found the 3 hour mildly annoying, but I was able to get some work reading done (along with a couple magazines that I never would have taken the time to read otherwise!).
pockets says
I had GD while pregnant and taking the 3 hr test was one of the hardest things I’d ever done. Unbeknownst to me, apparently some OBs have insta-result machines (they feed your blood sample in and a machine tells you the number, which makes sense because that is how diabetics test their blood), and if I had been at an office like that they would have called off the test after 2 hrs because my first 3 draws were all above the cutoff.
If you do need to take the 3 hr test bring a protein-heavy or fat-heavy snack to eat at the end of it. Giving a diabetic a boatload of sugar makes her feel really bad, and the only way to feel better is by drinking a lot of water and eating a lot of protein/fat to balance the carbs.
PregLawyer says
So the doc is making me take the 3-hour. It’s surprising me how upset this is making me. I feel sort of like a failure.
ANP says
I’m super late to this thread but just lived through this testing myself and felt like I had to chime in. I’m on kid #3 and never failed the 1-hour GD test before, but this time I was juuuuuuust over the normal range and they wanted me to do the 3-hour test. I protested to the nurse — my weight gain isn’t out of line, I’ve never had GD before, and I was super close to the normal range. My doc had me come in and do an 8-hour (maybe 12-hour?) fasting blood test first — just a draw first thing in the morning when I hadn’t eaten since midnight or whatever. Because that turned out to be normal, I got to escape the 3-hour version. Could you ask if that’s an option for you?
rakma says
I failed a 1-hr, and passed the 3-hr, and unlike most tests, there’s nothing you can do to study for this.
Definitely bring a substantial snack/small meal (turkey sandwich worked for me) and something to keep your mind off how miserable you may feel (light reading or netflix on your phone, not work you need to pay attention to)
One thing to keep in mind, even if you do get diagnosed with GD, it’s not about your eating habits or weight gain, it’s about how the placenta deals with insulin.
Bathing suits for daycare says
My kiddo’s daycare treats summer like summer camp. Toddlers and above are asked to come in with bathing suits and sunscreen on, ready for a day outside.
Last year, my daughter was too little for this. She had a one piece bathing suit that we used at the beach and it was a PITA to change her diapers btu she looked stinkin’ cute in it.
She is just starting to consider potty training (she’s 18 months now). Should I be thinking about buying two-piece bathing suits so that the diaper change/get-to-the-potty is easier? I hate the idea of such little girls in bikini type getups— are there two-piece (ie tankini) suits out there that fully cover the tummy? Am I over thinking the difficulty of diaper changes/ going potty in a one piece suit?
mascot says
How about a rashguard top and bottoms? Like this? http://www.gap.com/browse/product.do?cid=1025264&vid=1&pid=401168002
Stacy says
+1 to a rashguard. There is less skin to slather sunscreen on. Costco had some cute affordable options that I’ve got in years past.
Anonyc says
I’m a huge fan of Land’s End bathing suits for kids. My daughter has a couple of tankini/bottom suits (to make it easier to go to the bathroom, for one) and they are just as covering, if not more so, than a one-piece. Especially if you go with the skirted-bottom options, it ends up being pretty substantial.
Anonymama says
Lands end has a ton of girls tankinis
Nonny says
Also, if only for the cuteness factor (they are a bit expensive), look at the stinking cute two-piece swimsuits at iPlay. They have great sunhats too. Note, though, that their swimsuits are basically designed with the bottoms as cloth swim diapers so they may not be the best option for daycare (but I am seriously considering the one with pineapples all over it for our upcoming trip to points south)….
Meg Murry says
Daycare would probably appreciate the ease in changing in/out of wet suits if you went with a 2 piece solution – and I’d recommend doing rash guard + shorts or swimskirts because that’s far less skin to potentially sunburn. Lands end has cute suits in 2T and up, otherwise check Target.
I might get a bunch of swim shorts that are technically boys, for the versitily of her wearing them as shorts or as swimwear – like these, to wear with rashguards http://m.target.com/p/boys-swim-trunks/-/A-16234815
There are some girls at my son’s daycare that wear “boys” trunks, and I applaud the parents for going the practical route, and it still looks cute
. And if her hair is at all fair, consider summer hats, and don’t forget sunscreen in the part!
Jen says
Are rash guards hot if not wet? I did rash guard + pineapple swim diaper last summer but only wen she wS IN a kiddie pool. Running through a sprinkler seems like it could get hot.
I was eyeing the LE suits but couldn’t tell what kind of coverage they would have esp with the toddler pot belly. She’s tall for her age so can fit into some 2Ts but she’s on the thinner side so a 2T may sag. May have to try a few…
Anon says
You are NOT overthinking this. I used to teach swimming lessons. One diaper change would easily take a kid out of the whole 30 minute class. Tankini, board shorts and rashguard all the way for girls under 6. I always told parents to buy kids suits at Old Navy, because the suits will barely last at all anyway and you’re better off getting one top and multiple bottoms. (Sand and dirt are not swimsuits friends.) Tea Collection also has super adorable sets if “stinkin’ cute” is important.