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Twin bday gifts? says
Ok – this may be a stupid question but putting it out here. My daughter was invited to a birthday party for her twin classmates. The boys are turning 3. What would be a good gift for them? I should probably get two gifts and not a single gift for the both of them, right? Do I get two of the same gift? What about two books in the same series? Truthfully I have no idea what these boys like. Was hoping to spend $20 each.
Anonymous says
Twin mom here – two gifts is preferred and same thing for both is fine. Two books from same series is a great idea. At that age my boys loved Mo Willems books, everything playdoh, and still like duplo over regular lego but especially sets with buildable vehicles.
Anon says
not a stupid question. i’m a twin mom. so i think either a sharing gift or individual gifts is great. twin moms tend to have different opinions on same vs. different. for us, it depends on what it is, like if you were buying them an action figure, in our house, we’d want the same bc I am a human who can only listen to so many arguments (like my twins are getting two of the same doll for Hanukkah), but if it was something like a game or a puzzle then there is no reason to have two of the same (they are getting different board games, books, and some sharing toys, like a marble run).
anon says
With 3 yo twins I think you can also get away with a gift that is intended to be shared, like a t-ball set or a game.
I might consider doing something like matching superhero masks and capes. My kids loved to dress up at that age.
Anon says
I don’t have twins, but my close age kids like playing with the same toy. We have multiple lego duplo construction sets. They’re always playing with the sets together and not fighting over who gets to be the digger or whatever because they can both be the digger.
Anonymous says
Another twin mom who doesn’t think this is a stupid question :) I would probably get them the same thing. My twins are only 2 year old but they would prefer a $10 gift each rather than a $40 gift they have to share, unless it’s a game or tball set or something meant to be collaborative. Hope that helps!
Anonymous says
a book, a small toy, and a balloon or thing of bubbles each.
Alternatively, two books, two balloons, and a game for them to share.
Lizard says
Honestly it’s completely fine to ask the party host what the boys would like! Two gifts is my vote, and two books in the same series is a great idea. If you have time and really want to make a splash, you could order custom “personalized” books for each boy with their name in it.
anon says
For my twins, one larger shared gift or two smaller ones would have been fine. For two, definitely get them things in the same category (e.g. don’t get one a puzzle and one a truck). My twins are 5 and we still prefer identical duplicates for things that they’ll use individually (e.g. slippers, bathrobes, etc.), but avoid identical things when have two of them makes no sense (e.g. we don’t need duplicate books or puzzles).
Green Toys vehicles would probably be outside your price range unless you get one to share, but those are a huge hit with all 3yos I know.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
I would give a GC with your preferred amount to Target, Amaz*n, or a local bakery/coffeeshop if there is one you know they like.
Anon says
Depends on the culture in your area but if you think people might open gifts at the party I wouldn’t do a gift card. It will be lost on kids that age.
Anon says
I usually spend around $15-20 on a birthday gift, and for twins I tend to be on the lower end of that for each kid. I try to get them toys that are separate but go together – so like two Lego/Duplo sets, or two hot wheels tracks.
For that age, you could get a take-apart dinosaur and take-apart airplane. Or two play dough sets. Or two classic games like Don’t Break the Ice and Yeti in my Spaghetti.
Tip Question says
Tis the season….. tipping question.
My nanny is leaving as of 12/31. Leaving the profession – was not planned when we hired her 18 months ago, but leaving on good terms for sure. What would you tip her? Same as if she wasn’t leaving (which was 2 weeks pay (rounded up)last year)?
anonM says
I vote tip. She could have waited tot tell you until after the holidays to ensure holiday pay, which would have made your life harder.
OP says
I default to tip, tbh. I’ve been known to overpay hence the need for the gut check. She actually told us before Thanksgiving, so you’re right – she did us a solid there.
Anonymous says
And if she’s staying around, it’s possible she could provide date night care, overnight care, or be helpful in other ways. I’d be inclined to treat her as well as possible.
Anon w/nanny NYC burbs says
I’d do same tip.
Anonymous says
My friend and I want to do a girls’ trip in February/March 2023. She’s in Boston, I’m in Houston. We’re thinking of meeting in Charleston or Savannah. We like walking around, drinking (she likes whiskey; I like beer), museums, semi-fancy hotels. Do you have any recommendations for either city? Is there a third location we should consider? I have no experience with the east coast other than visiting her in Boston (once).
Lizard says
I think the DC area is amazing that time of year, and it’s an easy flight for both of you. Cherry blossoms, free museums, the wharf/waterfront, Old Town Alexandria is amazing for walking and cute bars/restaurants, there are fancy hotels sprinkled around. DC also has a great theater scene if you’d want to see a show one night. The Metro also makes it really easy to get around.
Anonymous says
Isn’t that a little early for cherry blossoms? I guess very end of March might be the season.
Mary Moo Cow says
Both cities are usually lovely that time of year (especially March) and not overly crowded or stupidly humid like they are in the summer. I lived in Charleston for many years, but haven’t been back in some time, and I’ve heard it has only grown! You can eat so well in Charleston. Breweries and distilleries and bitters companies are popping up. There are museums and so many historic sites, churches, buildings, etc. Charleston Place is the old standard for fancy hotel but there are historic houses B&Bs (Wentworth Mansion, for example) and newer hotels like the Dewberry or Zero George. I’m biased to Charleston, but a plus for Savannah is the arts scene since it is home to Savannah College of Art and Design (they also have The Paris Market store.) Southern Living usually has some solid itineraries, but definitely nose around on your own and ask around for some off-the-beaten path ideas.
sav says
Whiskey tasting class at the Museum of Prohibition in Savannah!
OOO says
I’m currently planning a girls trip to Savannah next year! We’re going to do rooftop bars, spas, walk around Forsyth Park, eat some amazing food, do a ghost tour and hit the beach at Tybee Island. Savannah has an airport with direct flights from many cities. I haven’t looked into Charleston, but my Moon Travel Guide on Charleston and Savannah compares the two cities.
Anon says
i LOVED charleston and that sounds perfect for what you like to do. East coast is probably too cold that time of year, but if you’ve never been to NYC, DC or Philly you should definitely plan a trip to those cities sometime, or another trip to Boston
Curious says
Hi! Are there still any places I can get masks for kiddo? She’s 15 months and starting to show interest, so I thought it couldn’t hurt to get her some practice. As of now, the 2-5 year olds at her daycare still wear them.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Does Crayola still make them? That’s what my then 2-3 year old wore and preferred.
startup lawyer says
I get korean masks from Miyool. the toddler extra small size are the only ones that fit a 2 yo well.
Anon says
We do the KN-95s from WellBeyond for our 25 month old. With adjustable ear loops.
anon says
I saw kids masks at Costco this weekend!
octagon says
Behealthyusa dot net, the posh small for kids (Korean KF94). Lots of fun prints. They were by far the most comfortable for my kiddo (we tried a sampler pack from that site, which is also a good way to figure out what works).
Anon says
The best ones we’ve used are Dr Talbot’s disposable face masks for ages 2-5. Here masks are still required for things like doctor or dentist visits, so we occasionally restock.
anon says
Wow seriously? Where are you that people are still masking their toddlers??
NYCer says
I was wondering the same thing. Are masks required!?
Anon says
I’m Anon at 11:40am, and we’re in the NYC burbs. She doesn’t go indoors frequently (mostly the pediatrician and local bakeries/shops), but she does wear a mask every time, as do we. I’m pregnant and my doctor recommended that we (household) all continue to mask given trifecta of respiratory illnesses and crappiness of getting any of them while pregnant.
I don’t think any local schools or daycares still require masks, so our approach would likely change if she was in daycare (we have a nanny).
And yes, I get that we’re outliers.
Anon says
Oh, and our pediatrician DOES require masks for anyone over 2. So even if we masked no where else, we’d need them for the dr.
anonM says
I’m in the midwest, and though masks are an option at our daycare, a lot of kids still wear them. I’m hopeful that parents will continue to mask their kids as-need/as-helpful, such as right before a big holiday, when another sibling is sick, the kid is well enough to attend school but still has some symptoms, etc.
anon says
I’m in the DC-burbs and masks aren’t required at daycares or schools anymore, but many kids still wear them. My kids K class was at about 1/3 masking a couple months ago, but that’s gone up with the surge of RSV, etc.
Pogo says
I still see kids in masks around town in various places. Not a majority, but also not zero.
Anon says
I’m in the Midwest, blue-ish city in red state. Masks are optional at school (since May 2022) and our kid is mask free there. We do have her wear masks in other indoor public spaces, including extracurricular activities. She doesn’t mind and she has plenty of masks free time with peers due to school and one on one play dates. She knows we are being extra cautious because of my 70-something parents.
anonM says
Medtecs Kids Face Mask Disposable – 2 Sizes Option (Child/Youth) 50 PCs – Comfy 3-Ply Breathable Children Masks, the Better & Safer Choice – Child
I do get them from Amazon, which I normally try to avoid, but these have “child” sized and “youth” which is helpful. They’ll probably still be a little big for a 15mo, but at that age it’s more getting them used to it.
Anonymous says
Nope insane. A 15 month old should not be masked. What kind of crazy day care requires masks for a 2 year old.
Anonymous says
One that wants to stay open?
anon says
Where though? I’m in suburban Philly and masks haven’t been required for many months.
anon says
It could hurt…that’s a pretty serious suffocation risk on a child that young. Yikes.
Anon says
I thought 2 was the minimum age as well.
Anonymous says
Thanks, this would be for supervised play, not at daycare yet. She just wants to imitate Mommy and Daddy, who wear masks at the doctor and at daycare drop off.
Anonymous says
She’s unlikely to wear it properly at that age, and there’s a suffocation risk. If I were you I would focus on hand-washing and similar hygiene habits.
anon says
I love Happy Masks. They’re much more protective than the average cloth mask. Small fits an older preschooler, so the XS might fit a toddler.
Also, you might consider asking around/a Buy Nothing group. I have a lot of masks that we tried that weren’t hits that I would love to pass along. My understanding is when toddlers first start wearing masks, it’s common to go through multiple a day with drool, chewing on, etc.
Pogo says
We still mask on public transit and at doctor’s offices. Also if we want to sit in the masked section of church.
I can post a link in reply to the ones we used for that age still available on Amazon.
Pogo says
These are good for little faces: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B08BDZPZS3/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&psc=1
Ifiknew says
Board game or other game suggestions in general for my 3.5 and 5.5 year Olds?
Ordering christmas presents and trying to find more quiet games for them since the only way they seem to play is by chasing each other around the house. Also,those of you that post that your kids play quietly with each other,give me your tips!!
so.much.noise either happy or fighting but always LOUD noise at our house
Mary Moo Cow says
For a game to play together, my 5.5 year old likes Stich Merry Mischief, and since it is all pictures and no words, your 3.5 year old might be able to play, too. Sneaky Snacky Squirrel, Operation, Don’t Break the Ice, Hungry Hippos, easy (found at the grocer store for $8) version of Candy Land were also popular in my house at these ages. Otherwise, for the older one, Lego, puzzles, stuffies, dolls, action figurines (mine will engage in elaborate pretend play/acting out what happened at school with stuffies and dolls for a solid hour.) A giant cardboard gingerbread house that they can color together and then play in usually gets several hours of play over several days in my house.
My tip is time. My kids are now 7.5 and almost 5.5 and it has only been in the past year or so that they really can play quietly and nicely together — and not all the time, for sure! Just last night there was chasing, wrestling, kicking, baiting, laughter, all mixed together.
AwayEmily says
First Orchard is the only game my kids would reliably play together at that age. Also popular were any pretend games in which they were “in league” against the grownups (e.g. spying on us, making a kids-only fort and not letting us enter, casting spells on us, etc). Sometimes it helps to encourage those explicitly (“Now, whatever you two do, do NOT spy on me while I am making dinner!”).
Pogo says
My 5yo LOVES playing Bingo with the grown-ups, not sure if a 3.5 could play with him?
Diggin Doggies is the one board game that my 5yo and 2yo will play together. The other ways they play quietly are rare occasions when the 2yo will consent to whatever imaginary playscape the 5yo concocted (ie 5yo is like: this is the farm, the cows are mine, the horses are yours, and 2yo is like cool I am down with horses – 99% of the time there is disagreement on either the basic premise of the game or the specifics). Otherwise they are only quiet when separated and playing independently.
AnonaMom says
Oh, my daughter loves games. She just turned 4. We have First Orchard, Outfoxed, Candy Land, Zingo, Guess Who, Memory Matching games, Perfection, and Connect 4. They are all a hit and she reaches for them often. If you want them to truly be able to play quietly and independently, I would go with First Orchard and/or Zingo out of the ones we have. If you want one that is fun for the whole family, I really like Outfoxed (and I like how it teaches logic organically).
Other cooperative, quiet activities at this age, in our experience, have been floor puzzles, certain crafts, and doll house play (love the Hape All Seasons doll house, which is very gender neutral BTW).
My caveat is that my son is not old enough to play with my daughter yet, so who knows whether these quiet activities that my daughter plays with her peers would be quiet in a sibling relationship :)
PAPA NO! says
My husband and I have a 2 year old. In November, I went to a conference and was away for 4 nights; everything was fine. Since I’ve been back, however, the 2 yo has had VERY strong preferences for me and rejects my husband all the time (for example, he goes in to get her out of the crib and she screams “Papa No!”; only I can brush her teeth, help her in the bathroom, etc). Sometimes she’s nice to him and they play together, but she has a definite preference for me, especially when she’s tired or for unpleasant tasks (like bedtime). It’s exhausting to all of us, and it doesn’t seem to be getting better. Any suggestions?
Anon says
I feel you on this. We’re in the same boat with a 3 year old. I’m curious what other people respond to this with. I assume it’s phase. One thing that seems helps a little bit in our family is if we prioritize DH doing something fun with her every weekend or so, just the two of them. For example, this weekend they went to a local sledding hill nearby and I stayed home. It was the highlight of her weekend.
anon says
Welcome to parenthood. No, Daddy. No!
startup lawyer says
Hold firm on your boundaries. If your husband is supposed to do bath time on a specific date, you just stick to it and say no, i’m doing it today, mom will do it tomorrow or whatever day. Or if it’s middle of the night, just say, mom is sleeping, i’m here, what can i do, etc. it sucks for a few weeks but then she’ll get the message
Anon says
This. Our just-turned 2 year old started having meltdowns when Dada would do bedtime instead of Mama. Now we preframe earlier in the day as “non-bedtime parent had a VERY long day, cooking cleaning, working, etc” and then non-bedtime parent hops in bed prior to kiddo bedtime so she can come wish them goodnight before bedtime parent starts bedtime routine. Obviously then non-bedtime parent can get back up :) (or choose to stay in bed at 8pm, which is what this 35 week pregnant lady is doing!).
startup lawyer says
Also, dad can plan some solo outings that are fun. So, like ice cream date with dad only. It’s bribery but it works.
anon says
Yep. My 2.5 yo will say go away daddy! constantly. Every single task. Bathtime and bedtime are typically dad’s jobs so I just walk away.
During bath time I go downstairs and clean the kitchen. Bedtime I usually shower or make a point of getting in bed early.
FVNC says
My 5.5 year old has had a strong preference for me his whole life; he just asked for “two moms” for Christmas. Didn’t tell my husband about that one! We have a set routine that every other night my husband does his bedtime routine and it’s non-negotiable. We encourage other one-on-one times too, like running errands or playground time. I assume at some point he’ll grow out of it (and your daughter will too), but if not, at least he has an overall strong relationship with his father even if he prefers his mother. (My daughter definitely prefers my husband, so at least we each have “one”!).
Doodles says
Maybe it’s counterintuitive but make yourself less available. My boys have gone through these phases too with each parent so whoever was the favored parent at the time would schedule one or two evenings out that week (girls/guys nights, yoga class, grocery shopping, returning library books, whatever). I would tell them each where I was going and that I’d be back when they got up the next morning. So they were forced to do bedtime with the not favored parent of the moment. We also scheduled a one-on-one activity during the weekend between the non-favored parent and whichever kid was going through the phase.
Anon says
Do you feel good about enforcing this? I know no one personally who does anything like this… “sorry I have to return library books right now and will see you in the morning.” Seems a bit much.
Anon45 says
I’m not the OP, but the way you’ve phrased your question seems very mom-shaming. Obviously they are fine with it and it works for their family. You’re free to take that option off the table if it wouldn’t work for yours.
anonM says
Doodles, enjoy your girls night without worrying about judgy comments like anon at 2:22. DH and I try to do this not because of parental preference, but so we both can get out of the house on occasion and to avoid having both parents miserable during tough bedtime phases. We don’t both NEED to be there for the 34343 time of “I’m thirstyyyyyyy.” You’re not mean for leaving at bedtime one a week. Honestly.
HSAL says
What a mean question. I’ve gone through three rounds of being the preferred parent, and making it mandatory to spend time with the non-preferred parent absolutely helps to get over that hump. Being literally unavailable makes it much easier. Otherwise you can enjoy being the preferred parent forever – would that make you feel good about yourself?
anon says
You make up errands so you can leave the house at your child’s bedtime once or twice a week? Why are we all pretending this is normal?
HSAL says
I don’t need to make up errands. I’ve got enough to do.
Anon says
No one said it was making up errands? On nights it’s not my turn for bedtime I don’t engage with the kid shenanigans, so honestly does it make a difference if I’m sitting in the living room or out dropping off library books?
anon says
Mommy is so busy! Must drop off library books! Urgent!
Pogo says
It’s easier than being in the house listening to them yell for you!
Lucky us the 2yo is currently demanding both parents perform for him at bedtime. It doesn’t matter which parent does books, he always asks for the other parent for songs. THEN once you’ve done the songs and you think you’re good, he says “Daddy songs?” We have finally started holding firm even though it means he cries for the other parent for a bit.
startup lawyer says
yes
anon says
Kiddo, you are only two, and you’ve been in daycare all day, and now mommy must go to yoga! Must have wine with the girls! Must drop off library books!
startup lawyer says
Yes, mommy would be doing the same kind of thing that daddy would be doing if he weren’t doing bedtime? errands or stuff for herself? What are you not understanding?
HSAL says
I’m honestly baffled that someone is being so intentionally rude and snotty about a method that has worked for multiple people to address parental preference. It’s fine if you don’t want to try it. But your judging is a little over the top.
anonM says
OMG this troll obviously is the BEST mom and the biggest martyr. Ugh.
Anon says
Knew the troll comment was coming. So predictable. Love you ladies!
Anonymous says
Seems kinder than the kid knowing the parent they want is available/in the house, but is deliberately staying away. This way kid understands why preferred parent is gone and also spends time with other parent. Kid might (will) still complain, but I bet it’s easier in a lot of ways for both kid and parent.
AwayEmily says
man, I don’t check the site for just a few hours and come back to find that there’s someone on this thread who is shaming someone for leaving the house once a twice a week during bedtime?!?! You can’t make this sh*it up. Guess what, anonymous person — last week I missed bedtime to go to a work dinner…and the dinner was OPTIONAL (cue gasps). I just wanted to go! Because it was a fun restaurant and I like my colleagues! And on Saturday morning I was tired so I went BACK TO BED immediately after feeding the baby, thus missing valuable breakfast bonding time with her and my other kids.
The final admission: sometimes I hang out in the bathroom reading a book long after I am actually done peeing.
Teacher gift Q says
Looking for guidance on holiday gifts for preschool teachers in San Francisco. We’re new to the school and to group childcare this year (previously we’re using a nanny) and I don’t have any sense of what other families are doing. Also, I’m not totally sure how many teachers are involved on a regular basis (versus occasionally floating in from another location of the school) so would prefer something like a group gift for teachers to share/distribute among themselves rather than needing to make a choice myself about how many discrete cards/gifts/whatever to get.
anon says
Also Bay Area, at my school, one or two parents lead a collection from all families that the divide up among all the teachers at the school. Given income inequality in my town, the range of what families chip in is enormous. My view is that I should spend more like a year-end bonus for a nanny than a token gift for a school teacher.
CCLA says
Do your kinder kids hand out goody bags to friends at the holidays? Trying to figure out if this is a thing…realizing it may vary a ton. We’re in SoCal.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Not here in the Boston burbs. The only time we brought something for all the kids last year was for Valentine’s Day. We do a communal gift to the teacher, organized by the room parents, and then cash + card for daycare.
Anon says
I think this varies a lot even within a school, depending on the whims of individual parents. At Halloween, one of my K kids came home with 4 Halloween goody bags from her classmates, but the other came home with 0 because none of her classmates brought them in.
My personal opinion is that my kids don’t need more random treat bags (especially if they’re Christmas themed), so I’d rather it didn’t become a thing!
Anon says
OMG no. DC suburbs. Adding a school group obligation to the holidays does not seem fun.
NYCer says
This is (thankfully) not a thing at our school. Valentines Day is the only holiday where kids bring something for the whole class. And even for that, it can only be a card.
CCLA says
Thanks all for the gut check. I have zero desire to do this, and I figure it’s a decent indication that at halloween only one kid in the class did.
Anon says
From talking to other parents at class meet-ups, the ones who send it goody bags are often (not always!) stay-at-home parents of one kid who had been home with them until K and so they’re kind of at loose ends this fall.
Anon says
Never heard of it except cards and candy at Valentine’s Day. Small Midwest city.
SF says
we’re in public school in socal and it feels like there are goody bags ALL THE TIME. but we will not be doing it for the holidays. there is a class holiday party so hopefully we are not the only ones without.