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Isabella Oliver has some great sales going on right now if you’re building or refreshing a maternity wardrobe; lots of their classic dresses are 50% off (but lucky sizes only). I like this flattering maternity top with a seam detail — nice high neckline, long enough to wear with pretty much anything, and I’d even give it a try with a skinny belt above the bump. The top was $128, but is now marked to $64; it’s available in lots of sizes in berry and yellow. Lauryn Seam Detail Maternity Top
(L-all)
Psst: apparently Isabella Oliver started a non-maternity brand called Baukjen, offering a lot of their classic styles (ruched dresses, etc) in non-maternity sizes. Nice!
Sales of note for 9.10.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 30% off your purchase
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything + extra 20% off
- Boden – 15% off new styles
- Eloquii – $29 and up select styles; up to 50% off everything else
- J.Crew – Up to 50% off wear-to-work styles; extra 30% off sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – 40-60% off everything; extra 60% off clearance
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Extra 40% off sale styles
- Talbots – BOGO 50% everything, includes markdowns
- Zappos – 26,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Birthday sale, 40-50% off & extra 20% off select styles
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off all baby; up to 40% off all Halloween
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Extra 30% off sale styles
- Old Navy – 40% off everything
- Target – BOGO 25% off select haircare, up to 25% off floor care items; up to 30% off indoor furniture up to 20% off TVs
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- The concept of “backup care” is so stupid…
- I need tips on managing employees in BigLaw who have to leave for daycare pickup…
- I’m thinking of leaning out to spend more time with my family – how can I find the perfect job for that?
- I’m now a SAHM and my husband needs to step up…
- How can I change my thinking to better recognize some of my husband’s contributions as important, like organizing the shed?
- What are your tips to having a good weekend with kids, especially with little kids? Do you have a set routine or plan?
GGFM says
How long would you give your baby (or maybe more likely, yourself) to adjust to a new daycare before looking for other options? My 8 week old started at one of the large chains (BH) last Friday and I’m feeling some unexpected unease mostly because our normally calm, happy, and easy sleeping baby was extremely cranky the rest of the day Friday and it didn’t abate until Sunday afternoon. Granted there are lots of explanations for a cranky baby, but I wonder if it was the daycare.
I didn’t like that she barely napped at the daycare. The log says she had one 45 minute nap and then an hour long one when at home she’ll nap in 1.5-2.5 hour stretches that time of the day. But the log only really accounts for the time she was in the crib – she could have been awake and crying then too (two of the bigger kids were screaming in their cribs when I came to get her at 2PM). She’s also by far the youngest in the infant room (the rest of the kids range from 8 to 15 months) which is kind of dashing my hopes for socialization. It’s also reflected in the toys, which are safe but not at all interesting to a baby her age. My husband asked them if they had a baby gym this morning and they said they’d look and see. That doesn’t inspire confidence!
For people who put a young baby in daycare, do these things get better or do you think these are red flags? We have a spot at another daycare that I liked much more, but it’s not until September so it would be complicated but not impossible to take her out. But if this is just normal adjustment (and not mama guilt) then it would probably happen again at the new place, maybe even worse since she’ll be in the separation anxiety phase by then.
Thoughts, anyone?
layered bob says
our daycare said that it takes 4 weeks for baby attending full-time to adjust, and 6 weeks for a baby attending part-time.
We loved our daycare, but our baby did not sleep or eat well there, and we ended up getting a nanny after trying it for 6 weeks.
I also just think daycare is difficult for 8 week old babies – outside of her baby gym, my daughter really just wanted to be held all day at that age, which is something she couldn’t have gotten at daycare. It sounds like your daycare isn’t really accustomed to babies as young as your daughter, and she’d maybe be better off with a nanny until September so she can sleep at home. Not saying that’s what you have to do; babies are adaptable and you have to make the best choices for your family as a whole. But if you don’t feel confident about her care, go with your mama intuition.
Daycare says
I agree with this. Daycare is wonderful, but they have their hands full in the infant room. 8 weeks is really young for the environment, even with the very best ratios, and especially when the otehr kids are older. I wouldn’t worry about socialization so much at this age. If you can, I agree that a nanny or anny-share could be a great solution until September. It might be more expensive, but it’s temporary. Also, peace of mind is more important when it comes to going back to work, and when your kids are really young.
Anonymous says
You kno, we put our baby in daycare at 11 weeks, and you’re right, they want to be held. But with a 7:2 ratio, our daycare managed this (within reason). The infant room was all babies <10 months, and some were happily entertained by crawling / exploring. The tiniest ones sat in bouncers (or in the floor) watching the world around them.
We chose our daycare because it had an infant room of truest young infants, and teachers that obviously loved infants. As in, at every opportunity had one or two snuggled.
Anonymous says
Are you thinking of taking her out immediately or wondering about changing in September? Do you have a childcare alternative before then? College student as nanny over the summer?
When I read the first part of your post I was thinking that it was normal for baby to not have an easy time with adjustment to daycare but three things in your post concerned me. One is the children being left to scream in their cribs, second that they seemed to only realize that age appropriate toys would be a good idea in response to your request instead of being proactive and third would be their lack of experience with very young babies. An eight week old is very very different from an eight month old.
Having my kids in childcare where I am confident that they are well cared for is an important investment in my productivity as an employee and my sanity as a mom. Trust your instincts.
Pigpen's Mama says
+1
Having a rough adjustment time seems normal to me. And the age differences with her ‘classmates’ would probably resolve itself as the older babies age out of the infant room and new babies join. Plus, at that age there really isn’t any interaction with other kids. I didn’t notice any until my LO was over a year and she moved in the toddler room (and there’s a TON there, which I think is incredible).
BUT, I am also concerned for the same reasons the PP stated. My daughter is at a BH facility, and while I did come into a room with a crying baby a few times, it wasn’t a regular thing. They did have toys for little ones and seemed very comfortable around young infants as well.
Is there a different infant room that you can ask that she be moved to? What’s the provider/child ratio like? Ours is 1:3 under the age of 2. I think it would be really hard to manage an infant room or even a young toddler room, with fewer providers to babies.
OP says
I was thinking more on the immediate end (if things don’t improve after an adjustment period). We kept our spot in the September place just in case we/baby ended up not liking BH but were only planning on switching her if she wasn’t doing well there (otherwise consistency seems better).
Thanks, too, PM. The provider/child ratio is 1:3 currently (and allowed to go to 1:4). They seem willing to hold her, which might translate into less attention to the older babies, and thus the crying. I’m not sure. But I’m reassured by your experience that some of the things I noted on day 1 might not be a regular occurrence. I’ll have to see if the crying persists, and if some of my other concerns go away, and try to move rooms before ending the experiment altogether. It has only been a day, but I really wasn’t expecting to feel so uneasy!
mascot says
Hmm, 8-15 months old seems more like an Infant II room since they are mobile by that age, likely starting solids, etc. Is the age distribution just off for them right now or is this how they normally fill that class? We had infant I for super littles, so 2 months to about 6 months and then moved to infant II when he started crawling.
As far as adjustment goes, yes, it’s normal for them to get off on their sleep and feed when they change environments and come home cranky and overstimulated. It gets better.
JJ says
I agree – I’ve always seen Infant I rooms with the really little babies, and Infant II once the older babies are mobile. It’s weird that they’re combined.
Probably not weird enough for me to pull my child out until I had the spot at the other daycare center open, though, if that was my only concern.
Meg Murry says
Whereas my daycare actually went the other way – they used to have a tiny to 12 month and then 12-24 month room, and they’ve since combined the 2 into tiny to 18 months. They said it actually works better that way because the ratio is 1:3, but that means that it can go down in practice to 1:2 for the tiniest babies that need held more often while doing 1:4 for older toddlers that are playing (basically, that the staff can flex around to whichever grouping needs the most hands).
It also just takes a little while for daycare to learn what makes your baby “tick” – is she the type that needs to be rocked to a dead sleep, or is she the type that needs to fuss a little and then she’ll go out on her own, does she do better with someone rubbing her back or better being left alone, etc – and they’ll work those kinks out.
Also, 6-8 weeks is prime time for a growth spurt, so if she didn’t hit it already, it is possible that she’s just hitting a fussy patch where she will be awake more and want to eat more for a couple of days.
I wouldn’t pull her after 1 bad day, but I think you are right to investigate what kind of options you have.
Also, is there a “lead teacher” in the classroom and what are her (his?) hours? Oftentimes the early morning or later afternoon teachers are floaters that are moved from classroom to classroom, but the core staff is there in teh middle of the day. Can you ask the lead teacher how its going, or ask if your baby has been assigned a primary teacher (in our daycare they divided the kids up into groups, with each teacher taking point for certain children)? You may get better answers from that lead teacher than the person that just rotated into the classroom 20 minutes ago and doesn’t really know much about how the day went.
HSAL says
I had a longer reply that got eaten, but our daycare setup is similar – two infant rooms that only overlap in the mornings/evenings for staff ratio purposes. I took my daughter at 10 weeks and she seemed so little and pathetic, but now at almost 5 months she’s one of the “big” kids. An adjustment period is normal, but a 6 month age difference to the next oldest kid would worry me.
OP says
Thanks – I’ll check into this when I pick her up today. The gap does make me wonder if they put her in an infant II room.
Sarabeth says
On the other hand, we were in an amazing daycare where the youngest room was 6 weeks – 18 months. It was actually great, because the older babies (12 months+) were independent enough that the teachers could hold the youngest ones as much as necessary. So that wide age range can work (and the socialization stuff is basically irrelevant at 8 weeks anyway). That said, leaving kids to cry in their cribs is a huge red flag to me – if that were ever happening at our daycare, they would have immediately called in a floater or two to help out.
The nap stuff sounds like normal adjustment.
Anon in NYC says
This very much sounds like a normal adjustment period. I would give daycare a few more weeks. They’re still trying to figure out what your daughter needs and it’s not like they can force her to nap. Plus, your daughter was in a brand new place – she was probably over-stimulated. My daughter goes to a national chain as well (started at around 16-17 weeks and is now 9 months) and she still doesn’t nap there as much as she does at home (2x a day versus 3x a day on weekends). But, if you have a schedule that you follow, you can/should share it with daycare and ask them to follow it as much as possible.
If your daycare has multiple infant rooms, you could also ask the director of the center if there are other rooms with children more close in age to your daughter and if your child can move into one of those rooms. Also, I wouldn’t read too much into the two kids crying in their cribs. It happens at my daughter’s daycare as well, and I know (after months of observation) that the kids are well cared for and the teachers would never neglect them. Of course, if you feel like something is actually wrong, that’s a different story.
OP says
Thanks. I really appreciate the range of views. In terms of the crying babies in bed it’s hard to know if its a regular thing — since this is based on one observation of the room. I’ve visited the facility at other times, both on tour and with colleagues who have their kids there, and I don’t remember that ever being the case, nor have my colleagues complained about it with their kids (not that they don’t have other complaints about BH, but there’s a shortage of infant daycares in our area, this one is 2 blocks from the office, and everyone thinks its safe albeit a bit corporate feeling).
I will have to look into the Infant I vs II distinction – They have 6 infant rooms so maybe there is one that would be a better fit. The only upside I can think of to her being in that particular room is that the teachers seemed pretty content to hold her, which is probably harder when you have lots of young babies in the room (she doesn’t really demand being held when she’s at home – on the contrary, likes to play – but I could see how she may need it in a more stressful environment).
We had considered a nanny until the other daycare spot opened but it’s hard to find a nanny who is great/trustworthy, and also willing to take on a temporary position (we talked to two). That said, we didn’t try very hard since we already had daycare 1 lined up. I am thinking we should give it a bit more time for her to adjust while exploring our other options now, in case these problems don’t resolve themselves in a few weeks.
Thanks everyone! I’m a longtime reader but it’s my first time asking for advice.
Anonymous says
For a temp position, I think a college student is your best bet. You might even be able to get someone to work part time now (stay w/current daycare but shorten baby’s day with early pick up) and then full time at the end of the semester in April and over the summer to get to September. Many college students specializing in pediatric nursing or elementary school teaching or social work are interested in short term nanny jobs.
Meg Murry says
This is what I was saying above – having a bigger age split might not be such a bad thing, because they can just hold the tiny infant all day while keeping an eye on the bigger ones playing on the floor – whereas they can’t do that if the entire class is tiny infants.
You may also want to ask how long it’s been since they’ve had a baby that small – in my town there is such a daycare waiting list that our daycare almost never gets kids under 6 months old, and they are often transfering in at 9 m- 1 year or even 18 months because of how the waitlists work out – so they just might have a little bit of an adjustment to get used to a 8 week old vs a 8 month old.
Momata says
If you can make it to September with an in-home, one-on-one caregiver, I’d do that. I love daycare for the “Infant II and up” set – the extra stimulation and socialization is great, as is the opportunity to bond with a variety of caregivers and find comfort and rest in a variety of settings. But it’s just hard for the littlest ones, and for their mamas. I think it’s pretty overstimulating and as others have said, what the littlest ones want is to be held — and that’s just not really possible in a group care setting.
Anon in NYC says
I wanted to thank the person who suggested bringing a Roku on vacation (I think it was someone here). It was such a great tip! We were able to rent movies, watch Netflix at night, play music for our daughter, etc. It would never have otherwise occurred to me to bring it, and my husband and I were so glad to have it.
JJ says
I don’t know if it was me that suggested it (I can’t even remember last week…), but we also bring our Roku or Amazon Fire stick on vacations now and it’s wonderful. It makes a vacation so much easier when there’s reliable entertainment.
Anon says
More of a sympathy rant. I totally messed something up at work – came to light over the weekend. Won’t cost the client anything, but looked bad (and I’m junior). I feel terrible. And also like I’m now bad at a job that I could have been good at before I was pregnant in my first trimester with a toddler to worry about on the side. Off ADHD meds obviously and generally feeling more careless and torn in many directions. Did anyone feel this way? Like it was affecting your performance? There’s not really anything I can do, but I hate being bad.
It also made me realize I don’t like my current position – lots of anxiety – but I really don’t think it would be wise to start planning a move until I take maternity (I’m in big law).
Big Law Anon says
Been there, done that. Everyone makes mistakes at work. Even big law attorneys who aren’t pregnant and have a toddler at home. Anyone who hasn’t, just hasn’t YET.
Basically, don’t beat yourself up over it, especially since it won’t cost the client anything.
The anxiety — I think that’s normal for big law, or at least I feel the same way. I hate that I can’t just leave work stress at work. I haven’t decided yet how I want to address it — either stay and learn to ignore or deal with it, or leave and hope that non-big law attorneys don’t have the same level of anxiety.
Sarabeth says
FWIW, this was bad enough for me that I went back on the meds (low dose, after lots of discussion with midwife). I researched the available evidence, and for me the risk/benefit ration was worth it.
SoCalAtty says
So, so true that this happens to everyone. The only variable is how the “higher ups” react. Hopefully they were kind to you!
Consultantmom says
This was totally me! Hated being off add meds. Cut breastfeeding short so I could go back on meds asap when I went back to work – figured I needed to come back strong after such an awful pregnancy
Legal Momma says
Nanny Payroll Advice
I am sure this has been covered, so direct me to that thread if you know of it . . .
Do you use an accountant or payroll service to process payroll checks? We have been using a spreadsheet to record all the details and writing personal checks to our Nanny and the government. I was wondering if you all had suggestions on better way to manage this? We are pretty good with numbers, but slightly delinquent on life duties that do not involve (1) keeping kiddo alive and happy and (2) meeting job expectations.
Thanks!
Anons says
We use Homepay (affiliated with care.com). It is pretty easy to use. I like that they do a ton of nanny taxes, so they should be familiar with the issues that can come up and know what they are doing. Unless an accountant does a lot of household employees, they may not be as up to date with things. There may be cheaper options, but they make everything easy for us and we are happy.
POSITA says
We used Sure Payroll. They were fine.
Edna Mazur says
Anyone have a kid battle the stomach bug for almost a week? I am at my wits end and utterly exhausted. Going to the ped again today but my normal little whirlwind is still crying on the couch. I thought these things normally worked their way out of little systems faster than this.
Maybe I just need a virtual hug.
lawmom says
it depends. My kids were 2 weeks with it over the summer (together with many others) . Whatever virus they had, it was a lingering one. The Emerg was run off their feet due to dehyrated kids because if this virus.
Edna Mazur says
Yipes. Good to know we are not alone I suppose.
Anonymous says
We had a longer bout of it one time when I didn’t know to avoid fruit juices and water. Felt really bad that I had been making it worse. BRAT diet (bananas, rice, applesauce, toast) helps and I like this guide http://www.caringforkids.cps.ca/handouts/dehydration_and_diarrhea
Stomach bugs are the worst. Hope it ends soon.
POSITA says
We’re on stomach virus number 2 in seven days. We just did this a week ago and she’s puking again. Yuck.
Betty says
Dear God. Right there with you. My daughter puked on my face (that was a new one for me as a parent) last Saturday night, then was sick again in the middle of the night Sunday, and she had the runs through Saturday (just once a day). My son followed a similar course (minus the puke in my face). And I got it Saturday. We also had the norovirus in December, which was more vicious but faster. I’m at the end of my rope.
Edna Mazur says
Getting puked on in the face, I don’t think that is something you ever forget…
Meg Murry says
We haven’t had puking yet this season (thank goodness, knock all the wood, hope I didn’t jinx myself) but we’ve had the head cold/sore throat/fevers that just won’t end. A few years ago we had the puking/diarrhea illness sweep through teh house and that was just awful – we were going through every single towel we owned every day.
Pro-tip for a puking infant someone taught me – if you run to the bathroom with a puking baby, put a towel down in the dry bathtub and lay them on that (making sure their head is turned so they don’t choke on more puke) – that way if they keep puking you can just wash it all down the drain, and they are somewhere safe while you strip off your puke covered clothing.
Never had a kid puke on my face (sorry! so sorry!) but I did have an infant that liked to puke straight down my shirt after each nursing session during a bad stomach bug. I finally learned to strip both of us down and have a million towels handy before starting any nursing session.
Anonymous says
3-plus weeks (got better right after the stool culture was negative) and now again at day 8 or 9. Which reminds me, I probably need to call the ped again…
In House Lobbyist says
We have had it too. My 2 year old was crying one night and when I went to her room she handed me a pile of throw up. Then my husband and I both got it and it was the most miserable I can remember being. It is day 10 and I am just now feeling like I could eat real food again. I did stumble across an interesting website – stopthestomachflu written by a scientist. I am ready for summer and hopefully all the germs will go away.
Betty says
I had to laugh at being handed a pile of throw up. It makes me feel better about having my face be the target of my 2 year old’s puke. Ahhh parenthood. This is the stuff they don’t tell you ahead of time.
Edna Mazur says
I literally laughed out loud at the being handed throw-up. Sorry that happened to you, but thank you for sharing!
TBK says
Also laughing. Such a 2 yr old thing to do.
Pogo says
Just looking for any more thoughts/commiseration on TTC with demanding jobs… DH and I both travel, typically not more than 25%, but things are busy for both of us these days. I almost lost it when this past weekend, DH informed me he has to be at a client in California next Monday – right smack in the middle of when I’ll likely get my trigger shot and need him to, you know. Get me pregnant. (so any anecdata that says you ovulate less than six days after Clomid would make me feel better!)
I do think he’s making it a priority, but there’s only so many times you can have a “minor medical emergency” that necessitates cancelling travel, and I think we’re both loathe to use that one up so early (this is our first medicated cycle). At the same time, I’m annoyed at the thought of taking a round of Clomid and not even getting a chance to really ‘try’ it.
I also feel totally judged by the fertility clinic people – like they think if we both just didn’t work so hard we would have gotten pregnant already. The nurse acted like no one else ever had this issue, and said my only hope was to “cross all your fingers and toes!” that the Clomid works quickly.
MDMom says
I’m sorry. This sounds really frustrating. If he “deposits” before he leaves, won’t you still have a chance? They live in body for up to 7 days…
Pogo says
That’s the hope! I’m definitely being whiny about it, but it makes me so angry to have to consider my menstrual cycle when booking meetings for work (and that DH has to, as well!).
I’m trying to think fertile thoughts to my follicles right now. lol.
IVF Veteran says
When we did IVF, I ended up in trial the week of the egg retrieval. Bad combination of trial going a week longer than it was supposed to and body timing being quicker than it was supposed to. I had to talk the RE (not my normal one) into only local anesthesia and no sedative, tell the judge that I had a medical procedure that wasn’t movable and would be a little late to trial (luckily I was second chair, so it went on without me), and then have my husband drive me to trial, where I argued a dismissal motion and questioned a witness while trying not to keel over in pain. All on top of already being in trial while giving myself daily shots in the stomach. My normal RE still doesn’t believe that I did it. He was ridiculously patronizing and dismissive.
Bottom line: lots of commiseration on TTC with demanding jobs. If it makes you feel better, years later I have 3 IVF babies and it’s all a distant memory (and, of course, now it’s fun raising kids with a demanding job, but I’ll take it over TTC). Best of luck!!!!
Pogo says
Aw, thank you!! This was what I needed to hear… you sound like a beast! I’m inspired.
Wow says
I’ve done one round of IVF (pregnant now), and I just want to say this is incredible.
TBK says
I remember you telling this story maybe in response to an IVF question I had? (So almost 3 yrs ago now.) Oof. You’re my hero.
IVF Veteran says
Apparently, it’s my standard “yes, I understand how crazy fertility treatments are” story. :)
I think everyone who goes through fertility treatments is pretty bad a$$. Or childbirth. Or parenting. We all have our crazy stories. These days, I just yell at my kids to clean up after themselves, which they don’t. They were much better behaved as eggs.
Anonymous says
Pogo, can he give a “sample” ahead of time that they freeze and then use when you’re ready? Not the best (or cheapest) option probably but keep you from wasting the shot/cycle?
Pogo says
We will probably do this for the future, but it was too late for this cycle :(
Anonymous says
I’m sure there is a DIY version of this too.
Betty says
Outsourcing Help: Fellow-working moms, I am at the end of my rope with work/home (see post above re: being puked on in the face). I am basically a single parent (long story), and nearly dying trying to do it all. I need to outsource anything I can. Help me brainstorm what I can outsource? So far, I have: (1) hired a cleaning company to come once every other week; (2) new nanny that will do kids’ laundry. Options: meal prep service. What else is out there?
Momata says
Amazon Subscribe and Save, and Amazon Prime Pantry. I think of these as ways to outsource my weekend errand-running time to my casual phone browsing time or my breaks at work. I use S&S for diapers and wipes, kleenex/paper towels/toilet paper/feminine products, and shelf-stable lunch and baby food items. I think of Prime Pantry as a big Target run. (Granted the interface on PP leaves much to be desired, but at least I don’t have to load the family up and go to Target.)
In House Lobbyist says
I love Amazon and order tons from S&S and Pantry. If I can’t buy it on Amazon, then I probably don’t need it. I order diapers, shampoo, lotion, coconut oil, wipes, cleaning supplies, toilet paper, paper towels, toothbrushes, toothpaste, food products like Cheerios and little cans of Sprite for when someone is sick.
In House Lobbyist says
And I ordered expandable throw up bags on Amazon that I keep in all the cars. The best money you will ever spend when you actually need it.
SC says
I love S&S. I order diapers, formula, baby medicine, shelf stable baby food, olive oil, granola bars, cleaning products, cat food, and garbage bags on S&S. I also use Amazon for baby gear and toys.
Delivery groceries are the best, if that’s an option in your area. Or meal kit services- we don’t have delivery grocery services in our area (LCOL, spread-out, southern city), but we use Blue Apron and really like it.
Will your new nanny do your laundry? Unload the dishwasher and load the breakfast dishes? Prepare kids’ food? My nanny does most of these things for us.
Can you take your clothes and/or bedding to a wash-and-fold? Or even better, use a service that will pick up and drop off?
It’s not a service, but I will be forever grateful for my parents’ advice to just use paper plates during rough times (for us, while I was on bed rest). When things are really dire, and I think kid-throwing-up-in-your-face qualifies, use paper plates for breakfast, snacks, sandwiches, and other casual meals. It makes SUCH a difference.
Put all of your bills on auto-pay. Reduce spending to one credit card. (If you want to keep more open, put auto-pays on them, then set the credit card up to automatically pay itself off.)
We also outsource bigger things like taxes, handyman stuff, landscaping, and lawn mowing. We usually eat our lunches out during the workweek, which is a type of outsourcing–one that I’m trying to curb, actually.
What do you feel like you spend the most time doing, besides the big stuff (working and being a mom)? What do you get bogged down with?
(was) due in June says
Instacart and Google Shopping Express. I do not go to stores (whole foods, target, costco, babies r us, etc) in person anymore, ever.
(was) due in June says
I’m also addicted to Amazon Subscribe and Save. Anything to avoid going to stores.
Anonymous says
+1
Anonymous says
Grocery delivery is a great option. In my area this is something that smaller grocery stores have specialized in so that they can compete with the big chains by adding value. My favourite one also has an in-house fresh frozen foods line that is really good. You can put certain things on automatic delivery and then just email them what else you want. They could deliver while the nanny is home. Cost is minimal compared to a meal prep service.
Is family help an option? We have dinner at my parents every Sunday – they think it’s because we like to visit but honestly, it’s one less meal to plan.
RDC says
We use Peapod for grocery pick up or delivery. It’s not fantastic but it’s relatively cheap ($3 for pickup or I think $8 for delivery) and saves tons of time – I never go inside the grocery store. I order online during my commute or at lunch.
TBK says
+1 We use Harris Teeter’s service where you order online and then drive up to the door and they load it into your car. I plan the week’s dinners (lunches are dinner leftovers) on Saturday morning while the kids are eating breakfast and input the order on my phone. Later in the afternoon, my husband goes and picks up the delivery. I have a whiteboard on the fridge where I write the week’s meals and where people in the house can write things to include in the grocery order. Cooking each night is easy because my whiteboard tells me what I’m making, and ordering the groceries and picking them up takes probably 40 min total (including driving to and from store). Much faster than doing actual grocery shopping. Cheaper, too because it forces me to plan for the week. (And Harris Teeter charges just $100/yr for unlimited online shopping. It’s an amazing deal.)
Meg Murry says
For desperate times like post-stomach flu I would skip meal prep service and go right to premade frozen meals, even if they are arms and legs, to dig you out of the hole.
Does the nanny that does laundry have any friends that could batch cook you frozen meals? There was a woman in the last town I was in that would deliver a weeks worth of dinners that were frozen (so homemade quality but premade convenience) with extremely explicit, basic instructions like “put this pan in the oven at 350° for one hour” – something that your nanny could assist with? If my work responsibilities go up any more, this is where I’m headed – because I am not a fan of cooking, and even more so I hate grocery shopping, meal prep and cleaning up after cooking.
Other outsourcing thoughts:
-college student to drive kids around to activities and/or do afterschool homework if they are school aged.
-Send out ALL your laundry/drycleaning. Look into a service that will pickup and/or deliver?
-Order in all your work lunches, or buy all frozen/shelf stable options.
rakma says
Mother’s helper/weekend babysitter for a few hours?
I love Peapod (no grocery store!) and Amazon S&S (never run out of diapers, or coffee, or toilet paper)
Anonymous says
My spouse travels a lot (he was gone 35 weeks last year) and I am a big law associate, so tons of empathy. I replaced my cleaning service with a housekeeper who comes once a week. She washes, folds and irons all the laundry, cleans the house, and cooks our dinners. If you hired someone similar and added grocery delivery, it would take a big chunk of your recurring chores off of your plate.
Betty says
Would love hire a housekeeper. How did you go about finding your person?
Anonymous says
Craigslist, of all places. I considered working with a household staffing service, but only found one that would place staff part time, and that one wouldn’t guaranty a minimum length of time that the housekeeper would work (so if she quit after two weeks, I would have to pay a second finder’s fee to have her replaced).
Anonymous says
I should add that I routinely see posts on my city’s parenting listserv discussing housekeepers looking to fill certain days each week, so that may be another option.
Faye says
Second the mother’s helper. Are there any older kids in your neighborhood or kids of your friends who could come play with your kids while you get things done around the house, or even run a few errands? My 12 year old neighbor and her best friend come over for a few hours each month on a Sat. They get babysitting experience, I get to know the kids aren’t killing themselves while I work in the basement.
Anonymous says
My law firm offers “concierges” services and some buildings I’ve worked in have services you can get from your parking garage. I used to have the concierge/parking attendants take my car for oil changes and other maintenance and wash it. I could sign up for a CSA (farm produce) through my building. Maybe see what your building at work can offer.
Name game says
Anyone want to help me out with a name issue? Our first is due in early May and we don’t know the sex. We picked out a boy name that my husband and I both love, partly bc it’s a family name on my mom’s side.
Here’s the background: my uncle has the name as a middle name, then another aunt used it as my cousins middle (cousin two), then the uncle who had it as a middle named his own son (cousin two) as a junior. So cousin two has his father’s first and middle.
Cousin one’s wife is pregnant with their first and its a girl- he specifically told me no names are off limits. However, my mom told me that cousin two’s wife has had a recent miscarriage and I should reach out to them before using cousin two’s middle name as a first. Her logic is that maybe they’d want to give cousins two’s first and middle to a son as the III and call him by the middle. No one suggested this to her, and no one goes by a middle name in our family. However, she thinks cousin two might have veto power here.
I’m reluctant to call them up about potential baby names when I’m not supposed to know about the miscarriage. Also, I’m not quite sure I think it’s fair to “reserve” the name given that it’s a middle name that another cousin has too. I’m also reluctant to ask bc we might have a girl and not use it. Any thoughts on the etiquette here?
RR says
Name your child whatever you want. I don’t think there’s etiquette here. (And, I’ve been on the flip side of this in a way that got awkward. My husband’s middle name is the name of my father-in-law’s little brother who died in infancy. My husband’s brother and his wife made a big deal of telling us that they were going to name their first born son that, then they changed their minds. It was really off-putting to make such a big deal out of using a special family name and then not, and I think it upset my inlaws.)
Due in December says
Don’t call, just don’t be upset if you use the name and Cousin 2 does too. Maybe it would be different if it were a sibling, but only maybe. We had a girl, but had we had a boy, we were planning o go with a family name on my mom’s side (name of my grandmother’s father, my uncle (grandmother’s son), and cousin (grandmother’s daughter’s son). I’m the first of the cousins o have a baby, and it’s conceivable more than one of us will use the name at some point. That’s kind of the point of family names, in my opinion.
Anonymous says
You don’t have to ask to use the name but given that it’s not a super close relationship (babies will be 2nd cousins), if they decide to use the same name down the road, I don’t think you can be upset about that.
Anonymous says
I actually was in the opposite situation and learned my lesson. We named my daughter a name that can stand alone, or have a full name. The best boy example is Jack. We wanted her to have a longer name and since her name is a nickname for several names (think: Jackson and John for baby Jack), we just picked one, though liked both equally.
Turns out, the full name (Jackson) was a name my sister was planning to use for her first, as its full name. If I had any idea, I’d have named the kid John! Truly, it was a toss up for us! Now she’s pregnant, also with a girl, and I just feel awful that she has to pick a new name especially since we call our daughter by her nickname 100% of the time anyway.
This time around (I’m pregnant again too), I’m going to chat with her about our top names to see if there is any overlap. She is the *one* person I’d want to take into consideration!!
CrimLaw Mom says
There is no etiquette here–my cousin and I have the same first name, and our moms are sisters. Saw each other often growing up, and still do, and no issues with our shared family name. A family name sometimes becomes just that–used by lots of members!
Edna Mazur says
No one owns a name and no one gets to veto another person’s choice for their child (except the other parent).
It is a cousin’s child? So the kids would be second cousins? And see each other every once in a blue moon? Use the name in good health and if the cousin also uses the name, congratulate them on choosing an awesome one.
Anonymous says
+1 to Edna’s reply. Especially since the last names are different.
My first name = my cousin’s first name
My husband’s first name = his cousin’s first name
My son’s first name = my nephew’s first name
My other nephew’s first name = his other cousin’s first name
Some of these were with prior permission, some without. All were family names.
Name game says
Thanks for the replies! Does it change anyone’s perspective if all of us cousins are pretty close and still live in the same small town? I know it’s not the same as a sibling, but our kids will for sure see each other more than once in a blue moon.
Anon in NYC says
Nope. A family name is a family name – that’s why there are a ton of John’s (or insert any other family name) running around families!
meme says
I think your mom is being ridiculous and you should just name your baby what you want. If the other couple someday has a boy and really want to use the name your mother is imagining for them (a silly exercise), then they can and the world will not end.
Name game says
Thanks fwiw-I’d be fine if they named the kid after his dad and grandpa but would seriously side eye if they insisted he go by his middle if it was my kid’s first. Or if they insisted it be their kid’s first. Is that out of line? I guess there’d be nothing I could do about it. I just feel like if it’s being used as a first name it’s off limits but not if it’s a middle.
anon says
I think it’s out of line. People have the same name as other people all the time, in families or just in school/friend groups, and it’s fine.
Meg Murry says
There is no reserving of names, and if it is a name that is special to you, you should consider it. However, your using it won’t stop your cousin from using it, and if the possibility that they do so is going to annoy you so much, you probably need to consider a different name.
Besides, they might not go with the “call him the middle name” route, especially if your son has it first – they could go with initials, another nickname based off any of the first middle last, Trip or Tre, Buddy or Bubba, etc.
I think the only way that name has dibs is if the cousin and his father are both named First Middle Last, it would be super rude of you to name your kid First Middle, especially if you have the same last name. For instance, in my family there is a name that has been used by the oldest son of the oldest son going back at least 5 generations – that name was off the table for me, even though we only see the current holder of that name a few times a year, it would just seem rude to me, and I didn’t have a special reason to want to use it otherwise.
But if the kids have different last names and it isn’t super uncommon (which I’m guessing not since you say it is a family name on both sides) it is not a big deal to share the name. In my extended family there were 3 boys born one year named Ethan, 2 girls the next named Ava, and whole ton of John/Matthew/James/Josephs scattered around – no one blinks an eye.
Besides you could be borrowing trouble and neither of you will have boys ever, or not for years and years. Come up with a Plan B name, and make the call once baby is born.
Name game says
Thanks for the response! I agree with you about not using the same first and middle as my cousin and his dad. Also, I guess the point I’ve gotten is that no name is off limits so we need to recognize that someone might use the same name as us. But that’s probably true no matter what we pick!
ChiLaw says
Mats for under the high chair — advice? We have one that I like (it’s cute, sweet potato doesn’t stick to it) but my husband (SAHD) hates that it can’t go in the washing machine. We had been using a towel before I got the mat, but it was gross and also too small. What do you do?
mascot says
Would a fabric shower curtain/liner work?
Anons says
We use the Prince Lionheart one from Amazon. It is circle shaped. I feel like it was cheaper when I ordered it–right now it is $30. I’ve washed it on delicate in the washing machine, but usually find it easier to just clean up with a damp paper towel after my toddler is finished eating.
anon says
Dog :) Sorry, not helpful, but sadly that is our system!
Anonymous says
Late to the reply but I just use an old table cloth. Shake it out after meals and toss in the wash every few days.