Maternity Monday: Pure Body Tank

I inherited a few of these tank tops from my sister-in-law when she passed along her maternity clothing stash, and I highly recommend grabbing a few during the sale at Gap. They’re soft and long and come in all the basic colors. When I started showing, I used them underneath my non-maternity tops to extend them for a few weeks, and then toward the end of my pregnancy I wore them under all my sweaters because they were comfortable and stretchy. Also, a confession — I am a year and a half past giving birth and I STILL wear them. Now that I am no longer pregnant, they are long enough to wear with leggings so that my butt is covered.  Yes, they have the telltale ruching down the sides, but I don’t care — comfort is king. They’re $16.95 and come in sizes XS–XXL, and with code HAPPY you can get 40% off. Maternity Pure Body Tank

Motherhood Maternity offers a plus-size option (which is also on sale).

Building a maternity wardrobe for work? Check out our page with more suggestions along both classic and trendy/seasonal lines.

This post contains affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!

Comments

  1. Anonymous says:

    Good morning everyone! Talk to me about summer/water shoes for newly walking toddlers. We need something closed-toed and water-friendly (i.e. plastic/rubber) to send to daycare with our 15-month-old that ideally will also work on the beach later this summer. Do Crocs actually stay on toddler feet?

    Also, does anyone have recs for traveling blackout shades? My in-laws’ house doesn’t have any curtains and there’s no way my kid will take a mid-day nap without something to make the room dark. In the past we’ve just tacked up sheets, but I know there are a ton of other options from static cling sheets to stick-on curtains and I’m willing to shell out for something simpler if it will work. Amazon is just overwhelming me with options, so I’d love personal experiences.

    • Anonymous says:

      Natives, crocs, actual water shoes, keen sandals. Sort of depends on your kids feet (my older one wore crocs- her feet were too fat for natives. My younger one’s feet are so skinny that natives barely stay on and crocs are a non starter.)

      We also do jelly sandals which might not work for a 15 month old esp if it’s a boy but in case it helps others…

    • Anonymous says:

      #TeamKeens

      My kids are 9 and 8 and we are still a Keens family. Our daycare wouldn’t allow crocs, but I see a lot of them on similarly aged kids and we have/wear to the pool (they are less good on climbers, where falling off could be an issue).

    • Anonymous says:

      We asked our daycare the same question for our just-turned-two year old, and they recommended Keens (what we ended up with) or Stride Rite Phibian. When we looked at these options, we got the impression that the Phibians might be a bit better for water and dry more quickly, but the Keens more breathable for everyday wear. So we got the Keens (it helps that our daughter also liked these better based on looks!).

      Last summer, we had the Toms that looked like Natives (because they were cheaper than Natives). They were totally fine, but I like the Keens better, for two reasons. One, the Keens don’t make her feet sweat as much. Two, they are much more flexible. The flexibility helps with walking, but also makes putting them on much easier. The opening at the Toms couldn’t be widened for taking off and removing.

    • mascot says:

      Nike Sunray worked well for our little boy- you can usually find them at discount shoe stores.

    • Redux says:

      The Stride Right line at Target (Surprize) is perfect for this. My toddler needed water shoes for playing in the sprinkler, going to the beach/pool, etc., but we were not walking long distances, or even running/jumping/ etc. that would require something more substantial. They’re cheap, too, which is great because when he outgrows them by next year he will be running and playing, etc.,, and then I will spring for Keens or similar. Link to follow.

    • Also team Keen sandals. We’ve used them at the beach, pools, and around the yard for water play. They work great for water shoes, but (after they dry) are also great for wearing anytime it is warm enough. That helps justify the cost.

      • I should probably get these but I just HATE the way they look. Like, I don’t mind Crocs but these kill me. I think it’s because I have seen too many adult versions and really hated those? Should I just give in and get them for my toddler?

        • Anonymous says:

          Ugh, and they smell SO bad. We did Keens for my toddler last year and his feet stunk all summer long. We did Natives this year and they don’t smell at all! #teamNative

        • shortperson says:

          i completely agree. we are team native/saltwaters for aesthetic reasons.

        • I don’t hate them on kids, but don’t love them on adults. We also get Keen sneakers for winter weather for kiddo – they’re waterproof which is awesome. We’ve never had an issue with hers smelling. For the sandals, I have to wonder if it is because they spend so much time in a chlorinated pool. Her Nike sneakers are definitely the worst smelling.

    • We’re team Keen (knockoffs from Target) because Crocs give my kids horrible blisters on their feet. It happens so matter which size they wear. Anyone else run into that and can help me understand why? I’m not sure if it’s the rubber material or if it’s just the shape of their feet, or if it’s something else entirely, but I am avoiding Natives because they seem to be the same material and I’m worried they’ll come back with blisters everywhere.

    • My son’s daycare actually mandates no crocs for water days because they can slip off the kids’ feet when they get wet. I buy them to walk to a from the pool, but not for use in the water. I get my LO aqua socks. They work for water days at school and for the beach. I like keens a lot too, but they take a bit to dry so I like having a dedicated water shoe.

      • NewMomAnon says:

        Agreed – kiddo wears Crocs all the time, but I won’t let her wear them when her feet get wet. Too slippery. We have aqua socks (maybe Speedo brand?) from Target, and Keens sandals.

    • AnonInBigLaw says:

      Re black out shades — these paper ones on Amazon are great. They have an adhesive that doesn’t damage the wall and they come with clips so you can pull the shade up or down to your liking. We used them in an apartment and at my parents’ house without issue. They come in two different sizes depending on your windows. https://smile.amazon.com/Original-Blackout-Pleated-Shade-6-Pack/dp/B000SDROMG/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1528739808&sr=8-3&keywords=paper+blackout+blinds

  2. “Helpful” moms says:

    I’m due with my third. We don’t have family super close, but my mom is a 2.5 got drive and occasionally comes up to help for long weekends and the like. This is as much for her and grandkid time as it is For us- maybe even more so for her as we could absolutely get sitter coverage for times we need care. She’s good with the kids, but drives DH and me generally a little bonkers (always has). She’s messy and more invasive than we like (even when we’ve asked her not to- repeatedly- she still goes into our bedroom, makes the bed, does our laundry etc). She’s just trying to help, but we don’t want that help. She cooks, but it’s food we don’t like, makes messes she doesn’t clean, and has ruined our cookware before. Again, just trying to help. She’ll bring us up things for the house she’s covincednwe cannot live without (example: themed shower curtains and towel sets for each season for our main bathroom. We have a shower curtain. And towels.)

    So when she visits it turns into a game of doing things before she can “help,” which is even more stressful. Or just ordering takeout to preempt her cooking. That sort of thing.

    I understand we are lucky to have help at all, but I’m prociding the context for my actual question. I’m having the baby next week. I’m due Next Thursday, but my first kids have both gone to 42 weeks. I have an induction scheduled next Friday. Mom has offered to come up on Thursday night and stay with the kids until we get back from the hospital. My dad (they are divorced) will come up Saturday to meet baby and help out as well, also leaving when we get home. We’re grateful for the help and don’t care at all what happens or who cooks cleans or eats what while we’re gone ;).

    BUT. Mom called today saying she’s rearranged her week and now can come up o Tuesday. In case I go into labor. She’ll be around to give me time, etc. I’ve alreay hired a sitter and planned special activities for me and the kids on our “last baby free days.” Having my mom here sounds awful. I don’t want her “help,” which will be preparing freezer meals in my kitchen I won’t eat and making messes I have to clean and and and…

    But when I suggested we stick with the original plan she got super miffed. Just trying to help. Doesn’t understand why I don’t want a break, etc.

    Am I totally wrong here, and do I need to suck up the extra couple of days because she’s going to be bailing us out when we need it for the actual birth?

    • Anonymous says:

      You might go early — might be good to have a third adult around. Can you maybe have her come once the sitter leaves? Or send her to the store to pick wipes, diapers, etc.?

      • Anonymous says:

        I could go early. But (a) the odds are very low (both my other kids were super late and had to be forced out, I’m a week out and have no signs, and even if I came early the odds that it would be while she was here are pretty low. I could go any time!)and (b) we have a contingency plan. Also, once I go jot labor my mom plans to head up, and would be here in 2-3 hours (her plan not our request)- so in theory she could be here anyway without having to sleep here for 2-3 extra days.

        I’d also rather have my space for a few more days than have my mom there “just in case” even if it means DH might not catch the baby (that’s our back-up contingency- that he’d just stay with the kids of our contingency sitter/neighbor couldn’t do it, and it was a super fast early delivery).

    • Anonymous says:

      Just tell her no? You’re a grown up woman. It’s okay to say no to things. Your mom will deal.

      • Anonymous says:

        1- “No” is a complete sentence.
        2- As I said to my 4-yr-old this morning, “Just once, I want to say “no” and have that be the end of the discussion. Just once.”
        3- “Thanks mom, but I already have special plans with my kids for our last baby free days. You know we appreciate your support, and please know I will call as soon as I go into labor, in case I do go early. Thanks again, but the answer is no. We really look forward to seeing you Thursday night.”

      • Anonymous says:

        I know *how* to say no, I was just wondering if I was being extra b*tchy in my desire for space (hello, rough pregnancy not over yet!) or not :-).

        • avocado says:

          You are not wrong. No one but your own nuclear family (baby, spouse, other kids) has any legitimate claim on your time or attention so close to delivery. Your mother’s feelings might get hurt, but she does not have the right to demand to stay at your home when you do not want her there.

        • Anon in NYC says:

          No, it’s not wrong to want a last few days as just your nuclear family, even without the added context you provided.

          Your mom sounds well-intentioned, which is why you feel guilty! But really, your mom should have asked you before rearranging her schedule. She will get over any hurt feelings in the joy of a newborn.

        • KateMiddletown says:

          Also, your mom will probably chalk up any “extra b!tchy” to pregnancy hormones. (At least that’s what mine did when I had to tell her No recently. Families are great.)

    • Can you compromise? You obviously don’t have to – but if you want to, you could get her to come up Wednesday night or Thursday morning as opposed to Thursday night? That might be a way for you to acknowledge that she’s helping you out. Honestly, though, the thought of additional messes to clean would drive me nuts too! If you draw a hard line with her, that’s totally reasonable too. Congrats on the upcoming baby!

    • Get a lock for your bedroom door before she comes. Then she can’t do your laundry or make your bed. Tell her you got the lock to keep the other kids out.

      • Anonymous says:

        This. My master bedroom has had a lock on it ever since the kids were out of cribs. How else to you avoid surprise intrusions during gardening?

        • Anonymous says:

          I have a lock on my master bedroom too, but you have to be in the room to lock it. It’s not a lock with a key that can be locked and unlocked from the outside. I read it as OP’s mom was going into the bedroom when they weren’t there and tidying up. A ‘gardening’ lock wouldn’t prevent that.

          • Right, but she could upgrade to the type of lock you can lock from the outside before mom visits.

    • Anonymous says:

      I feel like you could soften this by saying you want the alone time with your older daughter before the baby comes, so she feels extra special, etc. If you phrase it this way maybe her feelings wouldn’t be hurt and you’d still get your space. Would that work?

    • Hotel? Then she’s available but not up in your business.

    • BigLaw Sr Assoc says:

      I think you are being too nice. Given what you said, I would tell her not to come at all, or at least until I was recovered from childbirth and settled (at least two weeks) – and then only to visit the baby, not “help.” If you haven’t already, I would also be frank with her that she does not help, and just creates extra work and stress – and if she wants to actually help, she should follow you and your husband’s direction. She may not even know she is not being helpful. But if she insists on doing things her way or else gets angry, even though it creates work and annoyance, that is really her problem – she is a grown woman.

      • Anonymous says:

        Yeah, but I actually want her to come and watch the kids while the baby comes ;). That’s what makes it tricky- I want to be selective about her help. But it feels sort of like “beggars can’t be choosers” so if she’s already going to do me the favor of being here while we’re at the hospital (but ONLY THAT) telling her that her “extra help” isn’t wanted is trickier. Or, more bratty. But that’s why I’m asking- it feels reasonable to me but I am also ancrazy pregnant woman with two wiley kiddos running amok.

        • rosie says:

          I just wanted to chime in late to say it’s totally reasonable that you want to ask for help in a way that will be actually helpful to you, particularly at a time like this. Yes, “beggars can’t be choosers,” but I am sorry that that is where you’re at (and I commiserate), and just wanted to say that I know it can feel kind of bratty but I don’t think it is.

  3. Anonymous says:

    How long is normal to continue feeling exhausted after your baby starts sleeping through the night? I don’t mean just feeling tired/rundown, I”m talking about the kind of bone-crushing physical exhaustion of the extremely sleep-deprived newborn period. My 5 month old has been sleeping through the night for a couple months now and I’m averaging 9 hours of sleep/night at least. But I have a really hard time getting out of bed in the mornings and on the weekends, I take 2-3 hour naps both days and am still able to fall asleep at 9 pm. I’m still taking a prenatal with iron and not yet menstruating so I doubt I’m anemic. I wonder if I might have a thyroid issue but I don’t have any symptoms except this extreme fatigue. But maybe I’m just still catching up from the sleep deprivation of late pregnancy and having a newborn? Basically I’m wondering if I should go see a doctor about this or if they’ll just laugh at me and say “Of course you’re tried, you have a baby.”

    • Anonymous says:

      1- you might have an iron deficiency, definitely go to your pcp and get a full blood panel.
      2- it took you 9 months to grow a baby, it’s going to take roughly 3 years for your body to replenish its nutrient stores, and it’s okay to feel tired!! You’re a mom now! Yes this is normal!

    • I’m just chiming in to say my little one isn’t sleeping through the night yet but I am more exhausted now than when he was first born. Even though the wake ups at night have gotten easier (he only wakes up to nurse and quickly falls back asleep) I’m back at work, I’m chasing after a toddler when not working and dealing with him, and the rush of post partum hormones and adrenaline is wearing off. So I think in some ways it’s harder than when I was just dealing with a newborn. But by all means go to a doctor. If you have any thyroid or iron issues, much better to catch them and address them.

    • Definitely go have some bloodwork done! I felt similarly and had a pretty severe vitamin D deficiency and also some sub-clinical hypothyroidism that we treated anyway, and even though I still like a good nap, I’m not nearly as exhausted.

    • anonanon says:

      Chiming in to add to have your bloodwork checked for B12. Post baby my B12 was so low, which had never happened in my life. Supplements worked for me but injections are also a possibility. My doctor did several rounds of tests before isolating to B12, so ask about that specifically. Huge huge difference.

      • Anonymous says:

        Chiming in to recommend bloodwork and specifically B12 levels. I had bone-crushing fatigue that turned out to be a symptom of B12 deficiency. Sublingual supplements worked for me.

    • Pretty Primadonna says:

      Are you pregnant again? I have never been more tired than during first trimester, even counting the newborn days.

      Are you on Mirena? My OB told me it makes you tired and I see fatigue is listed as a side effect.

      • Pretty Primadonna says:

        Meant to add that I experienced significant tiredness and fatigue with a Mirena and had to get it removed.

      • Anonymous says:

        Dear g-d I hope not! Seems unlikely, given that I’m exclusively breastfeeding, haven’t gotten my period back and we use cond0ms, but I suppose it’s a (terrifying) possibility…

    • This is probably too late for the OP to see, but I thought I’d chime in anyway. When Baby was 6 months old, he had been sleeping through the night for a while already, but I would crawl into bed at the end of the day more exhausted than I had ever been, even more than when Baby was a newborn. During the newborn phase, I was sleep-deprived so I was always sleepy-exhausted. By the time he was about 5-6 months old, I was fatigue-tired. My entire body would ache and I would wake up several times throughout the night just from discomfort because my body just couldn’t recover while I slept.

  4. Anonymous says:

    1 – “No” is a complete sentence.
    2- As I said to my 4-yr-old this morning, “Just once, I want to say “no” and have that be the end of the discussion. Just once.”
    3- “Thanks mom, but I already have special plans with my kids for our last baby free days. You know we appreciate your support, and please know I will call as soon as I go into labor, in case I do go early. Thanks again, but the answer is no. We really look forward to seeing you Thursday night.”

  5. Anonymous says:

    IDK — totally varies

    FWIW, I am now physically exhausted b/c my weekends with my elementary school girls are so physically rigorous and I am a tired Old. They both have ADD and we try to keep them physically moving (swimming! ropes courses! hiking!) which they have the energy for but somehow I am just exhausted at the end of the day.

    OTOH, I have no trouble sleeping!

  6. I think I got these with my first pregnancy, and they are very soft and comfy, but with my second I got the old navy version which I think I prefer – the fabric is a bit thicker and more supportive. Tanks are the one area where I find ON quality is better than Gap. Not sure why. I totally still wear both in my non-pregnant state, too.

    • Anonymous says:

      I liked the ON ones too. I tossed them after pregnancy but that was mostly because I slept in them almost every night during pregnancy and they had stains from my stretch cream ointment.

      • anne-on says:

        +1 – the Old Navy ones did seem to be a bit thicker than the Gap ones I had which were similar. And they were cheaper so I felt less bad about not handing them down and tossing them.

    • KateMiddletown says:

      I’m so done with ON and Gap right now. All of our local stores stopped carrying maternity in store and I’m just DONE with the excessive returns/playing the points game and ON changing prices on the daily. *huff*

    • I still have a bunch of similar maternity tanks from Target and I wear the heck out of them. I bought them over 6 years ago!

  7. Anyone else have an in law who refuses to think of your partner as an active member of planning family events??

    My step-MIL refuses to include my DH in any planning, despite the fact that I have (1) directly asked her too (2) added him to all e-mails and texts she send to me regarding planning, and have him respond to her about the planning.

    This morning it was a text to SIL and myself asking if we had anything planned for DH’s dad on Father’s Day. My response: add him to the text string and say “DH, MIL wants to know if you have plans for your dad on Fathers Day”. I feel justified for this short response, because I am so done with her right now.

    Commiseration? I can’t be the only one . . .

    • Anon in NYC says:

      lol. I have told my MIL directly that the “rule” in our household is that DH is in charge of his family and I am in charge of mine. My MIL basically never contacts me unless it’s to ask for gift ideas for my husband.

    • Happens to me all the time. I used to respond with “You might text DH– he is handling that!” Sometimes that works. Other times, I do not respond. I usually screen shot it and send it to DH, which is as much middleman as I am willing to play. I have also been known to just ignore. She usually doesn’t ask about it later, but if she does, “Oh, I must have missed that text, whoops!” I play dumb a lot. But I’d rather play dumb than do all the emotional labor.

      • Yep this is where I am too. I think they all think I’m horrible because our family doesn’t RSVP to anything, but that’s on him. I’m not accepting that guilt if they can’t accept him as the event planner.

      • Anonymous says:

        That’s what I do. DH is bad at responding so they ask me. When I’m feeling generous I will remind DH to contact them, but i never respond directly. His family, his problem.

        My kids made his mom birthday cards 2 weeks ago. We do not have stamps. Her birthday is Wednesday. They are sill here and of course he hasn’t gotten a card either. Oh well. If he does nothing I’ll probably Take a pic and send it to her. I don’t have time.

    • Happens to me too – not DH’s parents, but his aunt, who emails and texts *only* me about our family social event planning. Unfortunately she’s also our closest relative so this happens a fair bit. I add DH to the text chain and carry on…

    • Anonymous says:

      You’re not the only one. I would have done exactly that you did: “My response: add him to the text string and say “DH, MIL wants to know if you have plans for your dad on Fathers Day”. I feel justified for this short response, because I am so done with her right now.”

      Gently, she is unlikely to change on this. Take GCA’s advice to keep adding DH to the text chain/email string and let him deal with it.

    • Lana Del Raygun says:

      MY MOTHER-IN-LAW ONCE TAGGED MY FATHER ON FACEBOOK WHEN WE DIDN’T RESPOND FAST ENOUGH.

    • This is me. My husband is responsible for his family and me, mine. Which means, in practice, that my parents get presents for Mother’s day and Father’s day, frequent updates on the kid, and overall have a closer relationship with us. But his family does try and guilt me about this, which pisses me right off. If anything, it makes me less likely to do any of the emotional labor. I did find myself coordinating baptism dates with his family (not for our kid, but to ensure that we could actually be there). Normally, I’m okay dropping the ball on these things, but what can I say? Dropping the ball on God made me nervous.

      • Anonymous says:

        I agree with this. I make exceptions for non-annual events and try to stay on top of those. Baptisms, sibling weddings, once in ten years family reunion kind of events.

      • “Dropping the ball on God made me nervous.”

        LOL!!!!

        Words to live by.

  8. Can anyone recommend nursing tanks that aren’t skin-tight? I have a bunch of camisole-type ones, but they really aren’t appropriate for wearing on their own. I’m an XL or XXL in most brands, so I can’t just size up. Bonus points for higher necklines or adjustable straps to keep me from flashing everyone.

  9. Not a parenting question but you guys are always a wealth of information. Has anyone here explored (or experienced) becoming a landlord, specifically renting out part of your residence? We are thinking about buying a two family townhouse and I am trying to find good resources through which to learn what that entails. Any recommendations for books, blogs, websites appreciated. We’re in NYC (but I’ll take whatever!)

    • Anonymous says:

      You might see if Park Slope Parents has anything about this in their archives

    • Anonymous says:

      We have a triplex, so we live in one unit and rent out two others. I haven’t read any particular books, blogs, websites, etc. The income from the two rental units pays the expenses (mortgage interest, taxes, insurance, maintenance for the 2 units and the property), and we make principal payments. There are cons–dealing with annoying tenants (mostly minor, DH’s job), not being able to fence in our yard because tenants need to park in the back of the house, lots of repairs (3 kitchens, 3 bathrooms, 3 laundry rooms, 3 hot water heaters, 3 AC units).

      Things may have changed, because we bought after the subprime mortgage crisis when financing was still tight, but our bank would not consider potential rental income when financing the property. So, if you’re looking at buying a 2-family unit, the bank may require you to document your ability to make payments on the entire loan, despite obvious potential rental income.

      • Anonymous says:

        Oh that is a good point – I’m in Brooklyn and about a year ago some friends of ours were about to close on a house and had the bank turn down their mortgage very late in the game — after they had sold their existing apartment. I think the bank would not accept less than something like 30% down for the multi-family dwelling? Not sure why this didn’t come up earlier but these are savvy people and it still was a surprise that led them to live in a pretty nasty rental for a couple months while they scrambled for another place. They ultimately just bought another apartment. So talk it through carefully with your mortgage broker and attorney.

        • Anonymous says:

          I’m the [email protected]:38 above. Agreed about talking through things carefully with your bank, and maybe several different banks! Because we intended to live in our triplex, our bank didn’t require a larger down payment or charge higher interest rates (basically just treated it as a regular residential mortgage, which is also why they wouldn’t consider rental income). But I’ve talked to people whose banks have required larger down payments and charged a higher interest rate for multi-family dwellings, even when one unit is owner-occupied. I’ve also heard that triplexes can be more difficult to get financing for than duplexes, although it sounds like OP is considering a duplex.

  10. Expecting my second baby and my mother gave me $200 for my bday. I was a miserable person postpartum with my first and I remember not feeling comfortable in any clothing in the immediate postpartum phase. I specifically recall those Medela tanks that everyone raves about being a super rough material against my skin. Inspired partially by the link above, does anyone have recs for nursing/breastfeeding clothing that you found really comfortable? TIA!

    • Anonymous says:

      I loved my Bravado tanks. So much that I actually had a seamstress switch them to non-nursing tanks afterwards.

      I also like Nurture-elle tops – so soft.

    • KateMiddletown says:

      Also, I really like my Blanqi maternity tank, and I like the way the nursing tanks look (pull down not clip). I can post a code if you want one.

    • Anonymous says:

      I lived in these nursing bras (https://www.target.com/p/women-s-nursing-sleep-bralette-gilligan-o-malley-153/-/A-51624859), one of the Old Navy ruched maternity tanks mentioned above, and a cardigan. I just pulled the tank up to nurse. I have larger than average breasts and these bras weren’t supportive enough to leave the house in, but they were perfect for lounging around the house, which is all I did for the first month or so anyway.

    • Cheap Target non-maternity tanks and a nicer lightweight jersey open cardigan to go over the top. No brand recommendations on the cardigan. I had an ON maternity one I wore a ton during the first 4-6 months. I’d go non-maternity if you don’t already have one though.

  11. Anonymous says:

    The Kindred Bravely ones snag on everything which drives me nuts but they are very soft if you’re just wearing them around home post-partum or under something else. I can’t get mine to look decent for more than a few wears because of the fabric though.

    • KateMiddletown says:

      Have you tried their underwear? I’m embarrassed to say I need to size up on my current for the leg openings, not the belly. Thinking about trying Kindred since I see it all over IG

      • Anonymous says:

        No, I haven’t :( Sorry I have no advice here! if you’re OK with under the belly, I like the Gilligan’O’Malley regular ones from Target, actually.

  12. KateMiddletown says:

    I really really liked the Glamourmom ones from motherhood maternity. They aren’t v long, so not maternity/nursing crossover and they’re not “cute”, but I wore them into the ground until my daughter was 5 as sleep tanks. I typically wear a 32/34FFF and the band size on the L tanks worked for lounge/sleepwear. (I can’t typically wear a shelf bra tank with no bra.) I didn’t like the bravado one I bought because the band was too wide to keep the (big) girls up.

  13. Does anyone have any recs for nursing nightgowns that are pull down and not the kind with the bra clips? I had one for my first that I basically wore into the ground and threw away after we were done nursing, and now I can’t seem to find any nice ones now that I’m due with #2 in 7 weeks. I prefer to sleep in nightgowns as a tank and shorts for some reason is too hot for me.

    • Anon in NYC says:

      These are not fancy, but I got a Baby Bee Mine nightgown from Amazon and it was great. Very lightweight.

    • I have some Gap Body non-maternity ones with v-neck that would probably pull down pretty easily.

    • rosie says:

      I would check out Target non-maternity ones (I think the gillian & o’malley brand or whatever it’s called). Super soft, and I got some last year that should work.

      • Anonymous says:

        +1 Loved them. Women’s Pajama Seamless Total Comfort Nightgown – Gilligan & O’Malley™

    • octagon says:

      My Bella Mama elasticated neck nightgown on amazon. Tons of colors, super comfortable, isn’t obviously a nursing item.

  14. anont says:

    Furniture question? We are moving soon, and my plan is for my son to get a bedroom that has access to a bathroom, so I would like that to double as a guest room. It’s a small room (10×10). I was originally thinking of putting a queen in there, but the layout looks so small. What do you guys think of a twin with a trundle (not a popup trundle) for a guest room? For background, my parents stay with us about 4 weeks a year (4 separate weeks), and my SIL might stay with us for a week. We don’t regularly get other guests, but we could now that we have a bigger house! TIA!

    • Anonymous says:

      If you have space, I would highly recommend putting a guest bed (perhaps a twin daybed with trundle to save space) in another room such as a home office. It is so nice to have an extra bed made up at all times in case of illness, emergency sheet-washing, etc.

      I would not put a queen in a room that small unless you do not plan to put any other furniture in the room. We have a full-sized bed in a room that’s about 11 x 11 and there is barely space for a dresser.

    • shortperson says:

      we have guests on my daughter’s trundle sometimes, but they have to be in the right frame of mind to go for it. meaning they have to have an attitude that a sleepover party with a 3 year old is awesome, bc that’s how she sees it. other guests have chosen to drag the trundle mattress into another space. also this of course would not work for two guests if your son will be there.

    • Thanks. We don’t have a spare room (other than the living room). One alternative is to have two of the kids share a room, and keep that room as a dedicated guest room, but that seems like a waste of the room to me. I guess the alternative is to get a sofabed for the living room, but that seems worse to me?

      Oh, yes, my idea would be that he wouldn’t sleep in that room when we have guests (he would sleep in his brother’s room, also on a trundle. trundles everywhere.)

      • Anonymous says:

        Could you have your kids share a room, and then make the other bedroom a play room that doubled as a guest bed? You could get a sofa bed for the play area/guest room. When you had guests, the kids would obviously have to play elsewhere, but that’s probably not a big deal.

        • Anonymous says:

          I like this idea. A regular trundle is hard on some people, esp. older adults.

        • I guess so. Is a sofa bed more comfortable than a trundle?

          Long term I had not envisioned the kids sharing rooms. They are 7 and 9, so they could share a room for a little while longer, but I had imagined them having their own space by the time they were pre-teens.

        • Anonymous says:

          I would get a trundle bed for each boy. When guests are staying they get the room with the bathroom attached and kid bunks with his brother. Yes he has to sleep on the trundle in his brother’s room for 4-5 weeks a year but he also gets his own bathroom the rest of the year so it evens out.

          • Anonymous says:

            Hemnes day bed is a good option. There’s a version with a trundle that uses two twin mattresses.

    • Anonymous says:

      Sounds like this could work to me. I have a daybed with a pop-up trundle in my guest room and it works very well. I will say that my guests were less willing to stay on the trundle before they heard it was a pop-up. The regular trundle may also be difficult for older people (grandparents) to get into/out of.

      • Thanks! Is the pop-up comfortable then?

        • Anonymous says:

          Yes! It is super comfortable– has a regular mattress on it. You really can’t even tell it is a trundle when it’s popped up. The only thing is that you have to find a bed that has enough clearance underneath to fit the pop-up trundle, which is a little taller than regular trundles. I didn’t have a problem finding options, but it did take a little more effort.

    • Would something like the Utaker stackable beds from Ikea work? When you unstack them, they form a king-size bed, but stacked up, it occupies the footprint of a twin.
      https://www.ikea.com/us/en/catalog/products/S49227808/

  15. I have a 4 and half month old baby. Lately, it’s been so difficult to breastfeed him. He’s very distracted, and constantly stretching, turning head, wanting to talk, and often fuss- crying. Going to a quiet place hasn’t helped. Because of all this, I feel he’s not eating enough (may be 5 minutes tops). During night or morning, he eats for more like 10-15 minutes from the breast. And from a bottle, he takes 5 oz. I am thinking about just pumping and feeding him from a bottle. DH thinks baby needs breastfeeding. Any suggestions on how to deal with this problem?

    • AwayEmily says:

      Mine started doing the same thing at 4 months! I found that going to a quiet place wasn’t enough — we had to go into the nursery with the blackout curtains down and the lights turned off. It also helped when I started purposely trying to stretch the time between feeds instead of offering him the b**b every time he seemed a little hungry. If he goes for ~3 hours between feeds he eats a LOT better than if I feed him every 2 hours.

    • ElisaR says:

      I noticed both my sons nursed for a shorter period of time around that age. I can’t say for sure, but I strongly suspect that they were getting as much milk in those 4-5 minutes as they did in the past with 10 minutes to feed. Babies do get more efficient as getting milk out as they get a little older. Is he still gaining weight? That’s really the only thing that would indicate that he is NOT getting enough. I know, I always worried about that too, but he probably IS getting enough.

      On the other hand, if you want to pump and feed him that way, that works too! I think you get to make the decision on b*stfeeding or not, not your DH.

      • Anonymous says:

        “Darling husband, if it’s important to you that our child is breastfed, you’re welcome to do it yourself.”

    • Anonymous says:

      Babies get more efficient at nursing as they get older. A 4 month can get the same amount of milk in 5-10 minutes that it takes a newborn 30 minutes to get. It’s totally possible for a 4 month old to be taking 5 ounces in ~5 minutes at the breast.

      That said, baby certainly doesn’t “need” breastfeeding and if you’d rather pump, that’s completely fine. But I wouldn’t worry about him at all. If he’s not getting enough during feedings, he’ll just ask to feed more frequently. If and when that becomes a problem (interferes with your sleep, etc.) you can deal with it, but until then I wouldn’t overthink it.

    • rosie says:

      First of all, pumping is b*feeding. Baby is getting b*milk. Now that that’s out of the way, have you actually checked to see if your baby is gaining weight appropriately? Or if you prefer to switch to pumping only, that’s totally an option (as is switching to formula)–this is your final call, not your husband’s.

    • Echo all the other comments that you shouldn’t assume your baby isn’t getting enough unless the doctor says so. My daughter breastfed for 5-15 minutes from about 4 weeks on and got plenty of milk. I would say she averaged 7-10 minutes total per feed.

      • Anonymous says:

        Yes, even a younger baby can get a ton in the first couple minutes – depends on your letdown. Try weighing before and after a feeding at the ped’s office if you are nervous.

        • This. my kids always nursed for about 5 minutes after the first 2 months or so and got plenty of milk. My youngest is a similar age and similar – 5 min in the daytime, a bit longer at night but that’s because he’s sleepy at night and is really more grazing that feeding. I wouldn’t worry about this unless he’s not growing properly.

    • Anonymous says:

      Have you tried tynelnol for teething? My oldest started teething at 3 months and it made her fussy when nursing.

      Around six months she preferred to nurse in the rocking chair in the nursery or lying in bed because it was too distracting if someone else was in the room.

  16. Lana Del Raygun says:

    For all the years I spent complaining that women’s pockets are so small they might as well not exist, now I’m wearing maternity pants with literally no pockets and it really does make a difference. So, uh, do stylish pregnant ladies wear their fanny packs over or under the belly?

  17. Anonymous says:

    Sounds to me like he might be teething…in which case its temporary. Feel free to add a couple bottles short term but exclusively pumping is much more time consuming than BFing and you might have a supply drop.

    (There’s also actually not a ton of research supporting the theory that pumped bm provides any benefit over formula…all the BM research is on bfeeding).

    • ElisaR says:

      Yes, I decided against pumping this time around – the benefits weren’t worth it (to me) vs. formula.

  18. LittleBigLaw says:

    I’m in desperate need of a housekeeper but would also like to find someone who could provide additional services, ideally some meal prep, laundry, & maybe occasional childcare. Basically, I want to hire Alice from the Brady Bunch for 2-3 afternoons a week. Have any of you worked out this type of arrangement? Tips for crafting a job posting?

  19. CCLA - move in advice? says:

    We are moving into a house in a few weeks after years and years in apartments (renting still, but a nice change). We anticipate being here for a couple of years and have a couple of weeks of overlap to do necessary prep work. I’ll coordinate with LL, but want to make sure things like behind appliances, duct work, etc. get done or have been done recently. I’ve searched online and found several checklists, but any suggestions from those who have been there on things you’ve overlooked that you wish you had done during the empty house pre-move-in phase?

  20. OP who posted the breastfeeding question above. Thanks for all the feedback. My worries may be driven by the fact that 2 months well check, he was at 15th percentile for weight. We are going to the pediatrician this week for 4 month well check, so we will see if he has gained enough weight. He doesn’t look skinny, but he’s not a chubby baby either.

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