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Kid Shots says
DD is 5.5. She needs her flu shot and covid booster, and soon because I’m due to give birth in about a month.
She’s HYPER aware this year of shots. Any brilliant ideas how to coerce her to get them? I’m picturing a straight up freak out from the car (once she realizes where we’re going) all the way until she gets the shots. Her normal check up isn’t until April so legit the only reason we’d be going to the doctor is for shots.
I thought of going to the CVS-route but I expect the pediatrician’s office is better suited to handle a wigging out child.
We plan to prep her – talk about it, tell her what to expect, tell her about a treat of some kind after (ice cream or whatever). But I’m just gearing up for total battle here. TIA.
Cb says
Bribery, blatant bribery. If you let the nurse give you the shots, we’ll go buy you a big toy.
AwayEmily says
Yup. Straight from pediatrician to toy store/ice cream/etc.
Anon says
This is what we do too.
And definitely do ped over employer clinic or retail pharmacy. The university my husband and I work at does a flu shot clinic and we’ve always had good experiences there for us, but this year they couldn’t handle my squirmy kid (she wasn’t doing anything crazy, just flinching every time) and they ended up having to stab her four times to get it done. She bled all over and now has an enormous bruise. We’ve never had any issues at the ped. They know how to hold kids or ask the parents to assist.
Anonymous says
This is horrible. Every time our kids have gotten shots, they are sat on our lap sideways with one arm tucked against our body and the other arm which is being injected held in place by the parent. The clinic nurse showed us how to hold them. They were 8 or 9 before they sat on their own.
Anon says
She was sitting on my husband’s lap and he was holding her arms in a bear hug, but she got the shot in her thigh and they weren’t holding her legs firmly enough. We even offered to do it, but they said no they could manage it and then they didn’t. Next time we’ll go to the ped.
Anonymous says
Bribery and holding her down if necessary. And explain over and over again why it’s important to get them, that it barely hurts for just a quick moment, etc. I also take my kid with me when I get my shots to model that I do it too.
AwayEmily says
Yes. I think that when it comes to matters of safety, it’s best to be matter-of-fact and get it over with as quickly as possible. The more negotiating/explaining/sympathizing/etc there is, the more time they have to work themselves up. “I know you don’t like this. But it’s so, so important to keep you safe, and so we have to do it. There isn’t another option. I will hold you, it will hurt, and then it will be over and we will go get ice cream right away. It’s fine to cry if you need to. Here we go.” And then do it immediately, holding her down if necessary.
Anonymous says
She’s 5. “You have a check up today!” And then take her to the doctor. She doesn’t know the schedule of well child visits.
Anonymous says
Seriously. It’s hilarious to think a 5 year old is aware of what month her check ups should be scheduled.
Anon says
It doesn’t seem that weird to me? At that age, they only go once a year, typically around their birthday. 5 year olds know what month their birthday is in.
That said, I have a sensitive, anxious kid and we have pretty much always had to hold her down for shots. It’s not great, but medical treatment is not optional, so we just do it. I heard (I think here?) that in Germany they won’t vaccinate kids who need to be restrained. If that were true my kid would have never had a vaccine!
anonM says
I would not go with CVS. Peds nurses are so much faster at this with kids. Also, CVS has been having pharmacists walk out over understaffing issues. (I sometimes get my own shots at CVS and sometimes at the ped’s office if they have extra, and even I can tell how good the ped nurses are at this and I’m not really shot-adverse).
anonamommy says
We’ve always had fine experiences at CVS but took kiddo there for a flu shot last week and it was terrible. Long wait, and the nurse was straight-up mean to my kid who was freaking out. We’ll do the pediatrician for covid.
OP says
I got both at CVS last week and that was what changed my mind about going that route. I thought that she might have less anxiety there because it wasn’t associated with doctors/shots already, but the wait and overall demeanor of the NP giving me the vaccines…. pass.
Sounds like straight bribery is the way to go, + definitely bringing my husband because there’s no way I could chase or wrestle that fast child at my current 35-week waddle.
Anon says
Alternatively, you could get the flu vaccine delivered via mist! My toddler had a good experience with that
Anon says
we cant find the covid booster near us!
Anon says
CVS and Walgreens both have it near me.
Anonymous says
Is there an at home nursing service in your area? In Canada so our shots are free at pharmacies and public health clinics but I know a few moms like myself who use a private nursing service to get the shots done at home. It’s totally with $25/kid charge.
Generally these services also do like at home blood collection for the elderly so older family members might have names/ideas if not common with mom friends.
Anonymous says
This is so kid dependent.
Kid 1: straight up bribery and a talk about bravery
Kid 2: nothing could be done, I had to hold her down. We talked about it before, and after. She knew I would have to hold her down and chose that path (she was 7 at the time). She honestly would have bit me or the tech if she could.
In other situations, bribing her with active screen time during the shots worked. Didn’t work this time.
Kid 3: love, understanding, hug, and squeezing her in a big hug that also held her down while she looked away. Followed by a reward.
Anon says
Another variation of bribery – reverse bribery – go to store first and let kid pick out toy. Then drive to doctor, they can only have the toy once they’ve had the shot. This worked with my Autism/ADHD kid where the drive to the store after would have been too much. I actually bring the toy into the office as an immediate reward.
But definitely know your kid if this would work.
Anonymous says
I have had luck giving my kid the lollipop during the shot. I tell her there is research showing that sugar dulls pain. Which I believe there is.
Anon says
No one has mentioned shotblockers and other devices. Many pediatricians have these as an accessibility thing.
Anon says
Warning: pregnancy loss.
I thought my first pregnancy was in trouble, then it seemed ok (heartbeat and appropriate growth at 8 week ultrasound, tons of “miscarriage risk is extremely low now”), I finally dared hope, then I miscarried at 10 weeks and had a scary, stressful D&C on Friday. It’s been a devastating rollercoaster.
For those of you who have had this procedure, how long did it take for your period to come back and did you start trying right away after that? One doctor at the hospital told me I didn’t even need to wait for the period, but another said to wait for the first one to pass before trying again. I think I feel more comfortable with the latter.
Going through this has been a lot harder than I thought. I don’t blame myself but the weight of losing our new life we were planning is hitting me really hard (not to mention the abrupt crash from excited to heartbroken). Do I save the ultrasound photos we thought were so perfect? What have those of you who have gone through this recommend doing to make the recovery easier?
anonM says
I’m so sorry for your loss. I hope you can have some time off work or do something that can give you a little comfort. Hugs from this internet stranger.
Anon says
I went through this almost exactly a year ago. It is incredibly hard and for me caused a true trauma response – I started crying the next time I had to go to my obgyn’s office for my annual exam, and being around pregnant women was really hard for me for a long time.
I bled for about two weeks after the procedure and got my period about six weeks afterward. We started trying again immediately (I was 42 at the time), but the most important determinant is going to be your emotional health, not your physical health. Let yourself be guided by what feels right, both in terms of trying again and things like whether to keep ultrasound photos. Your memories are precious, and your child was precious, even if she/he couldn’t be born.
For me, support from my religious community was extremely important to my healing process. Do not be afraid to ask for what you need from those around you. Also, be prepared for how this may impact you emotionally during a future pregnancy – I was pregnant again 8 months later and had a really hard time engaging with my care (I put off my first prenatal visits way too late because I was sure I was going to lose the baby, struggled with attending ultrasounds and appointments, and delayed telling people because I couldn’t allow myself to be happy). I’m 25 weeks now and still reluctant to do things like get a nursery ready, because letting myself be happy feels unsafe.
anonamama says
this resonates deeply with me, as I had two losses 6 months apart. emotional health is the most important. OP – don’t be afraid to ask for help, or tell your partner AND work you need a break. reach out to a therapist or even the number they give women for PPD/PPA. It sounds so traumatic and hard, and I hope you know you aren’t alone.
Anonymous says
+1 to reaching out to a therapist. I had pretty insensitive care from OBs for all of my miscarriages, but the last one at least referred me to a therapist. At the time, I didn’t know anyone specialized in maternal mental health, and my sessions with more general therapists were…not helpful. If your doc can’t point you anywhere, check out the provider search tool at Postpartum Support International.
Anon says
OP here and I could have written this. I’ve always struggled with letting myself be happy because of other losses (non-pregnancy) I’ve experienced and I had finally convinced myself to really trust this pregnancy so I wouldn’t lose out on the experience of being excited. My husband is gently encouraging me to allow myself to be happy if this ever happens for us again, but I’m honestly not sure I can.
I’m also feeling some trauma from the procedure and may consider therapy. The hospital experience was pretty bad and I was left to miscarry almost all the way naturally (alone) while they ran around in disorganization, but then still had to do the D&C for it to be “complete.” Every aspect of that night still scares me. This may be more than I can do alone.
Thank you ALL for your kind words. It helps.
Anon says
I’m so sorry for your loss, that sounds like a heartbreaking rollercoaster. By 10 weeks you are well into the “planning for the future” phase and losing that dream is a gut punch. I think saving the ultrasound photos is a call you’ll have to make – I could see some people who would just want to forget but personally I would keep them. As far as recovery, I think the most important thing is to give yourself space to grieve. If you can take any time off work, I would use it. If you’re going to try again soon, I would also consider therapy – from what I’ve heard, pregnancy after loss can come with a lot of anxiety and complicated feelings, and having someone to support you through that would be valuable. Sending hugs your way.
Anon says
I’m so sorry. I miscarried in August at 11 weeks. I was starting to show and everything. It was the worst. I didn’t have a D&C because it passed naturally, so I can’t advise on that. My doctor said no trying until my next period, which took about a month. My cycle is back but we aren’t actively trying because I’m not there mentally. The grief and anger caught me by surprise and I’m having trouble getting over it, so I’m seeing a counsellor who specializes in perinatal loss. Give yourself some time and space to grieve. I’m also just starting to be able to talk about it with my husband, it’s definitely driven a bit of a wedge between us because we are both shaken up but it manifests differently. I did save my ultrasound photos (mine wasn’t perfect- that’s when I found out there was no heartbeat) but it’s in a box somewhere hidden for now. Sending you hugs.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
I think you have some great advice here. From this internet stranger, a hug and warm thoughts.
Anonymous says
I’ve lost three pregnancies, and the first was the hardest. I’m so sorry for what you’re going through.
In retrospect, I wish we had taken a break. I thought getting pregnant again would cure my depression. I didn’t realize that being “successfully” pregnant would be just as stressful, if not more so. I don’t mean to be a downer, and this is not the kind of thing people typically talk about, but realistically, you may not enjoy being pregnant in the same way that other people get to enjoy it. I now have two kids, and for a long time, it made me sad and resentful that I hadn’t been that happy mom-to-be taking mirror selfies of my growing tummy. Until my kids were in my arms, I was convinced something would go wrong. But I’ve made peace with missing out on that pregnancy joy. I have my beautiful kids, and that’s what matters. They give me all the joy every day <3
Anon says
OP here and this is actually helpful. If this happens for me again, I know I need some tools to deal with my frustration at myself for not allowing myself to be happy. The thought that I can maybe give myself permission to be neutral/wary and that joy can come from a child is reassuring in a weird way.
Anonymous says
Took almost exactly a month for my period to return. I saved the ultrasound photos from the one miscarriage that was late enough for there to be photos, but they’re tucked away in a file drawer where I don’t see them frequently. I wish I knew how to make the recovery process easier – I commented above about finding a therapist. I’ve found it very helpful to talk to someone outside of my marriage/immediate family.
Pump Choices says
What’s the best pump? I’m so overwhelmed by options. I know I don’t need hospital grade or manual, and have heard rumors of pumps that don’t need to be plugged in to the wall, so they’re chargeable…? Insurance will cover it, I just need to call a DME supplier and confirm that they offer whichever one I prefer.
I don’t plan to BF for too-too long. Unsure if I’ll go back to work BF-ing or not, but assume for the moment I do and will bring this pump to work – I commute for 90 mins/day and travel with some frequency in short stints (overnight trips to NYC, etc.). FWIW, if I do pump at work, I plan to buy a second and leave it at the office. But I first need to settle on the right one.
Was looking at a Medela but I honestly don’t know what I’m doing. I have a handful of hand-me-down Medela bottles, which is why I’ve looked that way mostly. I’ve watched friends do this so I have a sense of options but also… not really. Help?!
anon says
I got a Medela through insurance and it was absolute trash. It died at like 9 weeks, they sent me a replacement, that one died a few months later.
Spectras are great for pumping at home and my office has a hospital pump so I just bring my own flanges and use that. I also have some overnight trips to NYC and have found the Momcozy wearables to be decent. They remove more than other wearables like Elvie but are pretty big and loud so I still use them in a lactation room. I have pumped in flight a few times though, after going to the restroom to put the pumps on.
Once you’re back to work, download the Mamava app to find pumping pods and other lactation rooms near you. It’s been a lifesaver.
OP says
Gah, I said Medela but definitely meant Spectra. That’s he one that I’ve had my eye on!
Anona says
I think the Spectra is better than the current version of Medelas. Personally, I would also recommend getting the one that runs on batteries and doesn’t need to be plugged into the wall. Avoiding mod with a link, but I would look at the Lucie’s List pump guide – they have a great overview of the current options.
AwayEmily says
Spectra S2, the one covered by insurance. You should be able to get a second one from a buy-nothing group, so you can keep it at work. Medelas suck. Get the off-brand Spectra accessories from the internet (e.g. Maymom).
Anon says
Agree with all this. My insurance only covers the S1 (must be plugged in) and for me that was totally fine too.
AwayEmily says
Agreed, just get the whatever spectra your insurance covers, even if is the plug-in one. I had the plug-in ones and they were fine. If you do end up needing to pump not near an outlet (which I think is rare if you are not doing a lot of international travel — I pumped for a total of 3 years, across three babies and a LOT of domestic work travel and needed to do that exactly one time) then you can buy a portable battery for $36.
Anon says
I would start by calling your insurance, and seeing which ones they will cover. My insurance only covered five models, so it really limited the options
Anon says
I would start by checking what your insurance will cover. Mine only covered five options, so they really limited my choice.
Anon says
I just ordered a pump last week. I’m due with kiddo #2 later this month.
I feel for you that it’s a lot of options.
I had a Medela last time and it just wasn’t “great”. So I ordered a Spectra this time.
Medela also recently changed their flag ship pump to a new style and it has some pretty mixed reviews. So even if you’re friends/family like their Medela pumps, it might be different this time.
People LOVE the Spectra S1 ( The top is BLUE = portable (Charge and then can use unplugged)) the alternative is the S2, (PINK = must be plugged in) my insurance would have covered it 100%. For your situation it sounds like the S1 could be a good option.
For 1st kid, I ended up almost exclusively pumping for over a year. So this time around I’m also paying the upgrade fee to get the latest portable Spectra gold. But it was about a $160 upgrade fee with my insurance. If you wanted to test your insurance coverage, you could see if they cover that as well. But the S1 would have been more than fine.
Also with 1st kid, I ended up also using an Elvie for a while (completely portable and “discrete”). And that pump was not very efficient for me. So for insurance coverage, personally I wanted to spend that money on a reliable bigger pump. And if BF goes well again, I’ll look into buying another portable pump out of pocket that’s not like a Elvie or Willow in form factor.
Vicky Austin says
I cannot get the hang of the Willow. Thank goodness I bought it second-hand or I’d be pretty upset about the price!
Anon says
The most popular pump is Spectra. If you do decide to pump at work, it’s really easy to get someone’s old pump for free that you can stash at your office.
Vicky Austin says
Spectra S1 (the blue one) is chargeable. I have it, it was covered 100% by insurance, and it’s done a great job.
I think it’s far more useful to get multiple sets of pump parts so you don’t have to constantly wash them or can take two clean sets to the office at a time. I used my HSA funds to buy extra sets – Maymom brand on A-zon is a known Spectra dupe and has worked great for me. I would not spend $$ on a second pump motor if you don’t plan to BF for very long.
Anon says
I got the Medela PISA because my insurance didn’t cover the Spectra. All my friends told me how terrible it was and how I should pay out of pocket for the Spectra, but it was fine for me. I’m of the opinion that you’re not going to LOVE your pump regardless of which one you buy, so as long as it’s comfortable and functional, that’s enough. And the Medela was for me.
DLC says
I did really like pumps with batteries- just one less thing to deal with. I also had a long commute so I pumped in the car, which made the battery even more convenient.
I also had a lesser known brand, Hygiea Enjoye that I liked even better than my Spectra, so I would also consider that if it is an option. (It was the only pump with a battery that my insurance covered)
Cornellian says
I’d say Spectra S1, but do not plan on commuting with it (or any pump). In addition to the pump, you need the charger, two sets of bottles for every 3-4 hour chunk, flanges, maybe bags and a brush and soap to clean…. it’s not a workable everyday plan. Even if your insurance wont’ cover the cost of the S1, they may cover most of it via reimbursement. Even if you never commuted or traveled, the ability to pump in the kitchen or away from an outlet because the baby fell asleep somewhere unexpected is crucial.
I have the S1 at home, and have a super cheap Bellababy one from Amazon (it’s like 40-45 bucks most of hte time!) that I think works even better. It’s also tiny. I’d get the big sturdy one your insurance will pay for, and then a cheap small one out of pocket to make travel easier. With my first kid I actually had a cheap hand pump that I used for travel, which worked well. For whatever reason, my b…sts weren’t in to that this time around, but my 40 buck pump is amazing. Order an extra set of flanges, valves, membranes, etc because the worst thing is having something tear or break when you’re running on 90 minutes of sleep with a hungry baby. Good luck!
anon says
I went to business school with the woman who founded this brand! I haven’t bought anything of hers but friends have and love it
Anonymous says
TW: pregnancy loss
For anyone here who has experienced multiple miscarriages, I wanted to share this article, which a friend recently passed along and which has given me a lot of hope for better future treatment of miscarriage (even if it also made me furious at the medical establishment): https://www.statnews.com/2023/08/31/miscarriage-rates-research-prevention-treatment/?fbclid=PAAaab7IX_93S26bdygCyQM18mMtpZUOQA514G7CTwGb_pTK4B0jCbKutNu-E_aem_AYjc-V0lQ9OTpGSEbKfYLk22Y-GLodSA2m_EG4Kv9w7cWde0vAdXHPJSn96jeM67vTo&utm_source=pocket_saves
Anon says
I’m the OP from the miscarriage thread above yours and I’m so glad you posted this. Since this happened, I’ve dealt with the pain, but also the anger at the “this just happens, it’s unknowable” attitude that all providers are demonstrating (and I’m receiving care from the top research hospital in my state). We don’t say to heart attack patients “it just happens, who knows why” and call it a day. I feel so terrible for the woman in the article who was blown off so much during her eight miscarriages – how awful. This article makes me feel more prepared to advocate for myself since I do have some risk factors that could have contributed to this.
Anon says
Thank you for sharing. My sister has had 8 miscarriages and been unable to carry a pregnancy to term. I’m going to share with her. She has had testing done and found she has Leiden V Factor and MTHRF genes that can complicate it.
Anon says
It’s so upsetting to me that CDC still advises waiting until there’s a pattern of miscarriages prior to looking into something as simple as MTFHR. I really hope these answers will help your sister.
Anon says
Thanks for sharing this.
I appreciate that this article comments on “evidence based medicine” (which has been largely co-opted by austerity movements that serve payor interests at this point).
It only gestures towards how much resistance there is towards even looking into autoimmune causes of miscarriage and infertility, but I appreciate this too.
One thing I found is that many of these under studied interventions also improve quality of life.
Cornellian says
oh, wow. this is fascinating. My mom had lupus, ibs, crohn’s and RA, so I wonder how much that had to do with her many miscarriages (and my being born under four lbs).
Interestingly, I have two bad mthrf copies and have gotten pregnant three times, despite never having engaged in unprotected activities. One ectopic, and two full term. I seem to have the opposite problem than my family history would predict.
Anonymous says
I’ve posted about this before, but my husband has Antiphospholipid Syndrome and has had a stroke and other serious health problems as a result. I think for some people it never causes any problems at all, but knowing you have it or another clotting disorder and getting treatment could also mean avoiding other serious health problems.
Music players for 3yo says
My 3-year-old loves music and has been asking for her own “speaker.” We don’t have any old iPods/phones or CD players at home, so I’m trying to figure out a toddler-proof option for a holiday gift. Is a Yoto worth it? Or would it be better to get some kind of mp3 player with a bluetooth speaker (and if so, would appreciate any recs for mp3 players). Thanks!
Cb says
I bet someone in your social circle has an old phone you can nab. We also posted on freecycle for a CD player.
Now we just use a very old ipad with only audible and libby installed. We looked at the Voxblock but it seemed way more expensive than just an audible subscription, with all the free stuff on plus.
Anon says
a kids amazon echo? we have a Tonie box and my 5.5 year old twins still love it. they got it for chanukah in 2021, and I wish we’d gotten it when they were younger because we’d have gotten longer use from it. i think mine would love the yoto mini, but i kind of want to wait until they outgrow the Tonie. The Tonies are expensive though they often listen to the same ones over and over and over again
Anonymous says
We bought a bluetooth unicorn speaker on amazon, and when she wants to listen to music we connect it to spotify. We have various playlists- pop, favorite disney soundtracks, disney hits, halloween, etc.
Anon says
My almost 3 year old LOVES his Yoto player. We got it at 24 months and he couldn’t figure it out then. Now he’s obsessed and it cuts back on our screen time
Momofthree says
Tonie is great, but as others mentioned can be expensive. You can buy “blank” tonies and then update them with the content that you want. For example, my kids were obsessed with Howdytoons for a while so we downloaded all their songs & put them on a Tonie. You can put on podcasts, songs, etc. This can be nice if you’re in a car w/o internet (or something that’s more portable in general/ not reliant on internet)
Anon says
Has anyone had success increasing their breast milk supply? what worked for you? I gave birth at 34 weeks and had to pump when the baby was in the NICU. I’m still suppose to be pumping most of her meals to ensure that she gets sufficient food and because I fortify her bottles to increase the calories. But I’m really struggling to produce enough milk. I’m willing to try most anything to increase my supply, but am not sure which of the things I read online are old wives tales and whether any of the expensive food products actually do anything.
anon says
Not quite what you asked, but as a former NICU mom I wished I hadn’t tried so hard to pump all my baby’s food and instead did more supplementing with formula. The hours and stress of counting ounces wasn’t worth it in the end, and she still would have gotten antibodies/perks of milk for some of her bottles, just not all of them.
In terms of increasing supply, “power pumping” is what worked best for most people I know.
Anon says
agree with this. wish i hadn’t spent so much time pumping, but “power pumping” also worked for me
Anonymous says
Same. I tried so hard with my first and first my subsequent kids…fed was good enough. Everyone got breast milk until it became untenable. They are all happy elem schoolers now.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
+1 – Not a NICU mom, but with DS #1 I did the triple feed (feed/supplement pumped milk/pump), I can tell you it made me miserable, anxious, and I don’t even know that it really increased my supply.
With DS #2 I readily supplemented with formula, and it took a load off. He was full term, and only little over 5 lbs so I wanted to make sure he was getting fed, period. We initially had an awful pediatrician who gave advice that I took that negatively impacted my nursing experience with DS #2, but it wasn’t the supplementing with formula that was the culprit.
GCA says
Agree. not nicu but my first had jaundice and I also triple fed for far too long. Then we supplemented from the get-go with kid 2 because of the jaundice risk and doing that took such an emotional and mental load off me (not to mention physical). Interestingly, kid 2 is the one I BFed for almost 2 years*because* the combo feeding reduced the stress about supply, pumping and feed timing.
Anonymous says
What’s your pumping schedule and how old is your baby now? I added an additional pump at a time when my baby did not eat, so for me that was right before I went to bed. I’ve done that now with both kids and it provides a surplus that I actually use for baby’s last bottle before bed since they consume more at that time then how much I pump for that feed.
Anonymous says
How old is your baby? I have twins that were born at 31 weeks. Unless she is over six months old, IMHO this is something you should discuss with her pediatrician and not mess around with anecdata from the internet.
Anon says
To answer some of the questions, my daughter is just over five weeks and I’ve been using a hospital grade pump that whole time. I pump every 3 hours for 20 to 30 minutes. The pediatrician just referred me to a lactation consultant, but I can’t get an appointment for 2 weeks. I hope they will be helpful, but I figured I would see if there was anything I could try in the meantime
Anonymous says
That’s awful. Our hospital has one on staff for NICU and two for the regular areas. Can you go privately/outside? https://uslca.org/resources/find-an-ibclc/
I also suggest you look into a post partum doula – they can provide support like washing pump parts or meal prepping even before the baby comes home.
Anonymous says
I ate oatmeal for breakfast every morning, pumped in the same chair I nursed in and wrapped a baby sleeper around my neck. Pumping with my eyes closed and visualizing baby also helped. I used doperiome (sp?) but not sure how much it helped. You can also try a nursing tea.
It’s the presence of BM that matters, not the absence of formula. You’re doing great even if this isn’t going how you thought. Get as much help as you can. Sleep helps. Sometimes in the evening DH would take baby for a walk for 45 minutes so I could nap uninterrupted. Those power naps were amazing. If I could hear her in the house, it was hard to sleep even if I knew DH was with her.
How old is your baby now? Can you nurse directly more and feed bottles after? For my babies that struggled with latch, I was basically hand expressing into their mouths sometimes to get them started.
Anon says
For some reason, the breastfeeding experience is what I’m sad about. The birth obviously didn’t go how we planned or expected., but I’ve largely accepted that with no strong feelings about it. But the idea that I’ll never get the breastfeeding experience I wanted is distressing. The pediatrician says we’ll be able to move to breast-feeding as we get past her due date, and I’m really hung up on making this work
Anonymous says
Take it one day at a time. It’s not ‘never’ right now. You have a baby, you have milk, it will get easier. It’s okay if it’s hard and nothing like you wanted right now. That doesn’t mean you are doing anything wrong. Have you seen a lactation consultant at the hospital? They often have great advice. Get as much skin to skin time with your baby as you can. That will help with everything. Come back and post whenever you need to talk about it.
I had a really awful birth experience with my first and then a great BF experience which was lucky because I had zero luck pumping.
On my second pregnancy I had a great birth experience and a hard time with latch, nursing, making enough milk, literally a check list of BF problems in the first two months. It even out after that though and while I always had to supplement I went on to nurse for 16 months which was around the same as my first.
Anonymous says
My lactation consultant recommended Fenugreek, blessed thistle and goat’s rue 2-3x per day. It worked for me, but obviously check with your dr or lactation consultant.
SC says
I’m sorry if this is too obvious, but are you using a hospital grade pump? I rented the Medela Symphony from my hospital, and I was able to increase my supply with that pump vs a typical personal pump (which I used when I went back to work).
Maybe it is an old wives’ tale that oats increase breast milk supply, but I went to the grocery store and made up a bag of trail mix with oat clusters, dark chocolate chips, almonds, and dried cherries. It was easy, delicious, and not too expensive, and it made a great one-handed snack. I had it in a gallon ziplock and grabbed a handful whenever I threw pump parts in their wash basin.
Anonymous says
This. Everything but a hospital grade pump was useless for me.
Anonymous says
Same. The only pump that worked for me was the hospital grade rental.
Vicky Austin says
I’ve had a dip in my supply lately because stress, moving, etc. Eat enough and drink water. You cannot pour from an empty cup (semi-literally?).
Power pumping also helped a little for me, as did pictures and videos of my baby while I was at work. And if your baby is asleep in the early morning hours, you can capitalize on higher prolactin levels in the AM by throwing in an extra pump then. (I know it sucks! But it might help you get a bit of a freezer stash going, which will be helpful for baby and for your mental state.)
Anonymous says
+1 to eating and drinking enough. My supply went way up when my kiddo started daycare, and I finally had time to eat enough (fall 2020 baby, so no outside support and spouse didn’t get time off).
Anon says
Oatmeal, Gatorade (I heard BodyArmor from others) and pumping every 3 hours for me.
Vicky Austin says
I posted on the main site yesterday, but we are looking ahead to a family trip to Ireland + Edinburgh in 2025! Six adults plus a 2.5 year old. What should we do? Paging Cb…
GCA says
I haven’t been with kids, but I’m impressed at your family’s advance planning! We are only just thinking about an international trip for next summer!
Anon says
Ha, I said that on the main thread yesterday! That is some serious advanced planning.
Cb says
Edinburgh is great with toddlers. Post a burner and I’ll send you recs. But the national museum is fab, as is the portrait gallery, the zoo is great! It’s just a fantastic city with kids.
Vicky Austin says
Thank you! vickyrette at gmail. :)
Anon says
Anyone happen to know of any parent-child summer camps? My kid really wants to do one. I know Space Camp has one, but are there others? I think something leaning more towards science/animals/art would be better for us than the traditional outdoorsy camp in the woods. We’re not interested in anything with religious overtones.
anon says
Some colleges have alumni family camps and there are some businesses and cities (Berkeley or Oakland, I think) that run these as well. My college’s family camp mostly has separate kids’ group activities and adult activities, but most meals are together and some activities are together.
My college’s family camp is super fun, but also has a years-long waitlist.
Anon says
What you are looking for is a “family camp”, which are quite popular in CA where I live now but I had never heard of in the state I grew up in. We’ve never done one, but the ones I know of are UC Santa Barbara family camp and (not CA but) Tyler’s Place in Vermont. Some of the big CA cities have their own family camps (like, not in the city, but in farther away areas they lease or own), which may or may not be hard to get into as a non resident, not sure (but are more of the outdoorsy type). Those all might not fit the categories you are looking for, but hopefully this helps with your Google searching…
OP says
I’m specifically not looking for family camp like Tyler Place. I’d be going solo with my kid and doing this to spend time with her, I don’t want to have meals and most activities separate. The occasional separate activity is fine, but I mostly want to be together.
NYCer says
Camp Sea Gull and Camp Seafarer in North Carolina have family camp and parent-child camp. They are outdoors oriented, but on the coast, so different types of outdoor activities than camps in the woods. Note they are YMCA camps though, so possibly too religious for you. I also know that they fill up very fast.
An.On. says
Concordia Language Villages has family weeks and weekends, but it’s not for a full summer.
Anon says
this is not moms related, but i need a place to vent and this board tends to be nicer than the main board. please don’t say to your colleague who you know is Jewish and the granddaughter of Holocaust survivors that you are “trying not to think about” what is happening in Israel and Gaza right now. How would you have felt as a black person, if I’d said that I was “trying not to think about” George Floyd’s murder back in 2020?
Anon says
Someone actually posted a very similar comment on the regular page yesterday and got a lot of support! I’m sorry this happened to you. It’s been a terrible week. Also Jewish and descended from Holocaust survivors.
anon says
As someone who actually just said this to a colleague, here’s a different way to interpret that comment: “I’ve been having horrible nightmares every night since it happened, I’m randomly crying during work meetings and every time I pickup my kids, I have reached out to my friends in Israel asking if I can help in any way, but at this particular moment, the best way for me to be a useful human being on this plant is get the work done that my team urgently needs me to do. So right now, I need to not think about, because if I think about it, I can’t be functional”. I don’t know if this is what your colleague meant, but, if it helps you get through the day, maybe put it through this framing. It doesn’t necessarily mean they don’t care.