Maternity Monday: Mama Tights

For the clog lovers out there – What are your favorite clogs, moms? I’m currently clog obsessed, wearing a variety of Bryr and Swedish Hasbeens sandals for summer. I have the No. 6 clog boots for winter but looking for some regular non boot varieties. Thinking about Sandgrens Brett. Are there any other clog people out there who want to comment?

In a broken down, chronically sleep-deprived state, I allowed my 4 year old to come sleep in the master bed. It has been 5 months and she is still there. DH moved to a guest bed and wants his bed back. I love cuddling with kiddo, but I know its probably time that she moved back to her room. I think she likes it because she has a younger sibling and bedtime is the consistent solo time she gets with me. Also complicating things, her and sibling are supposed to share a room. I am afraid that if we get her back to the kid room, it may disturb the recently sleep-trained baby.
I know it needs to be her idea to move back to the kid room, so I have been giving her time. How do I speed that up a bit? She would like a bunk bed, and I would happily get one, I am just afraid that she would use it temporarily and then move back to my bed. help!

Postpartum doula. Did anyone hire one here? For how much of time? What did they do? We have no family in town and very little community (just moved here) so I plan on getting a house cleaner weekly for the first 2 months. Having someone come make meals once a week for us to then just heat up out of the fridge for the first 2 months. People keep suggesting a postpartum doula but I am trying to figure out how they would fit in the puzzle. First kid, my husband gets two weeks off.

Can you recommend any books or other resources on discipline for a 19 m/o? He’s very smart and sweet – he’s just asserting his independence: spitting out food, biting me when he doesn’t get his way (he doesn’t bite at school, which I find interesting). I’m looking for very practical advice: when your toddler does X, try Y. I’ve read the Whole Brain Child and some Janet Lansbury but I felt like they just explain what your child is experiencing and give little advice on how to address behaviors. TIA!

Crowdsourcing an admittedly superficial question: For those of you who were in a position to schedule an induction or a c-section, how much did you take into account scheduling around a birthday that would fall on a holiday? Our second is due in a few days and my bet is that this one will be overdue again (my first was induced and born at 42 weeks). One of our concerns is trying to plan around a Halloween birthday if we end up needing an induction. If it were you, would you schedule the induction as early as you could (i.e. 10/29) or wait until 11/1?

I’m a clueless first time mom – could this be teething? My 7 month old DD went down last night at her normal bedtime. She woke up about 45 minutes later we heard a thud followed by a very high pitched cry. We didn’t rush in immediately (because sometimes she cries out and goes right back to sleep) and by the time we got in there a minute or two later she was absolutely hysterical. We picked her up, soothed her, and I nursed her for comfort and then we put her back down. She didn’t cry, but lay in her crib grunting and rolling and seemed unhappy for about 20 minute before eventually falling asleep. But not even 20 minutes later there were more thuds and she was up hysterically crying again. We soothed her and put her back down, only for the same thing to happen a 3rd time. At that point we gave her Tylenol, played with her for about 20 minutes for it to take effect, put her down and she immediately went to sleep and slept 10+ hours. I feel like she has to have been in pain, since the Tylenol helped so much, but I always thought of teething as more of a dull pain that leads to general fussiness, not hysterical screaming. But maybe I’m wrong? I also thought maybe the first time she hit her head on the crib and had a bruise that hurt and the Tylenol could have helped with that, but I can’t see anything on her head. She has two bottom teeth, but we barely noticed them come in and then she was mildly cranky for a day or two until they were fully through. Nothing like this. It doesn’t really matter I guess, but I’m curious if anyone knows what this could be.

I resent my husband. Deeply, truly, seethingly resent him. We have a 3 year old and a 10 month old. He travels for work, which used to only be 1 or 2 nights per week but has increased to 4 or 5 nights per week. He will be home for three weeknights in the month of October. Baby has had two ear infections this month, including fever which gets her kicked out of daycare, which of course I have to miss work for because husband is absent.

The 3 year old has typical occasional tantrums but is otherwise ok to solo parent. The baby is still nursing, wakes up at 5:00 every. single. effing. morning, and as of about three weeks ago wails every moment she is not being held. Just constant whining at all times.

Husband has, since baby has been born, played in seven golf tournaments. Some of these are in town (workable), some of them involve travel (not workable, gone for four days over a weekend, etc). Currently out of town three days this week, not for work, but for golf.

When husband is home, he does exactly 50% of parenting. He thinks he does 75%, because the half he does is all hands on with kids. He does zero behind the scenes emotional labor (scheduling, planning, doctor appointment, buy a halloween costume, buy pants for big kid because its getting cold, unpack handmedowns for little kid because its getting cold, buy food, buy toilet paper, etc etc ad nauseam). Despite multiple repeated conversations where I try to explain how much I do that he doesn’t see, he says I should just ask my mom/his mom for help and that I should handle stress better. More recently these conversations have ended in me pretty much losing my ish. Which he says means I need a therapist. (I do need a therapist, but I might not need a therapist if I had, I don’t know, a co-parent).

I work full time (government) and have about as flexible a job as I could have without officially leaning out, which I have no desire and am not willing to do. Husband makes about 3x as much money as I do, which has never been discussed and I’ve never thought was an issue, but it has become clear that his career is priority and mine is a hobby, to him. If I told him that he would disagree, of course. Husband basically does not listen to anything I say about this and says I’m overreacting. Considering divorce which seems like an overreaction, but I’m basically already single parenting so…. I know everyone says this, but he’s “great otherwise,” a great dad, blah blah blah. But I am at a critical breaking point. I dont know what my question is but please help.