This post may contain affiliate links and CorporetteMoms may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.
I love spending a day in the pool on a hot day, but the skin under my eyes always look red and dry afterwards. Here’s a new hydrating under eye cream that might help.
This eye cream is a refreshing gel designed to plump and hydrate the delicate skin around your eyes. Made with one of my favorite ingredients, hyaluronic acid, it absorbs quickly so you can get on with your morning routine. It’s also free of fragrances, synthetic dyes, parabens, and phthalates.
Olay’s Hyaluronic + Peptide 24 Hydrating Eye Gel is $29.99 at Target.
Sales of note for 9.10.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 30% off your purchase
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything + extra 20% off
- Boden – 15% off new styles
- Eloquii – $29 and up select styles; up to 50% off everything else
- J.Crew – Up to 50% off wear-to-work styles; extra 30% off sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – 40-60% off everything; extra 60% off clearance
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Extra 40% off sale styles
- Talbots – BOGO 50% everything, includes markdowns
- Zappos – 26,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Birthday sale, 40-50% off & extra 20% off select styles
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off all baby; up to 40% off all Halloween
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Extra 30% off sale styles
- Old Navy – 40% off everything
- Target – BOGO 25% off select haircare, up to 25% off floor care items; up to 30% off indoor furniture up to 20% off TVs
HSAL says
True confession – I don’t understand eye creams. What are they for? Where do I put them? I’ve tried a couple samples and they seem to make no visible difference. Are they just not a need for me yet?
Cb says
Same, I just put my normal moisturizer (carefully) on my undereye.
Liza says
+1, minus “carefully”.
Anon says
I never did either until I started using one that actually worked. Smoother skin, fewer wrinkles, my natural undereye circles are less noticeable. I’m a convert!
(Alastin, in case you’re wondering. Pricey but actually worth it. An esthetician friend got me started with it but there was zero in it for her).
anon says
Which one? I googled it but looks like they have a lot of products and I’m curious! TY!
anon says
I am in my early 40s and have yet to stick with an eye cream. And it’s not because I’m glowing and youthful (haaaa) but because they don’t seem to do much for me? I just use my regular moisturizer and call it a day.
Anonymous says
I’ve found two I like: Skinceuticals AOX (or something like that) and Sunday Riley’s Autocorrect. I still use under-eye concealer, but I think they make a difference.
AIMS says
I use the origins eye zing in the morning and find it makes me look more alert/refreshed. When I stop I do notice a difference but I have no idea if that’s the cream or the light reflecting particles in it.
I never manage to stick to a nighttime cream though I always aspire to.
Anonymous says
My street is doing a block party this weekend, and we’re new to the neighborhood — what do you think we should plan? I was thinking of baking cupcakes and maybe setting out a variety of seltzers (some alcoholic, some not) in a bucket of ice. I have been told people mingle and share beers/food/etc.
Anonymous says
Sounds perfect to me! I might add a savory snack, assuming it’s at a meal time… I usually try to contribute enough that my immediate family wouldn’t go hungry if they only ate the food I brought.
Mary Moo Cow says
Is there a point person? An email or phone number attached to the invitation? If so, I would reach out to say you were planning on bringing cupcakes and seltzers and that you’ re looking forward to it. That gives the organizer a chance to plan ahead and fill in the gaps. It also is a chance to let them know you are new to the neighborhood, and a really outgoing or on point organizer will make it a point to meet you and introduce you around at the party so you won’t be stuck on the fringes.
Anonymous says
What in the intense nonsense is this?
Anonymous says
Our block parties are full potluck meals, so I don’t think it’s too intense to make sure that you don’t end up with twelve desserts and no entrees. The rest might be over the top, though.
Anonymous says
+1, that’s been my experience, too.
GCA says
What time is the block party and are there lots of other parents with young children? We did a brunch-time park birthday party for my 4yo a few weeks ago and the big hit with fellow tired parents was a 12-pack of La Colombe canned iced coffees from Costco…
Spirograph says
My street hasn’t revived our block parties post-covid yet, but in the olden days, the organizer would suggest that house #s a-b bring dessert, c-d bring something savory, e-f, bring drinks, etc. Then at the appointed time, everyone would start hauling wagons with coolers, folding tables and camp chairs over to the spot and it was basically a free-flowing gathering with people coming and leaving as they were available for hours.
If you received no specific guidance on what to bring, I think your plan is totally fine. But if you have the contact info for the point person/organizer, I think Mary Moo Cow’s suggestion is a good one.
If your kid(s) is 2+, bring a ball or some bubbles to break the ice with other kids.
Anonymous says
Our block party assigns apps, sides and dessert to different streets. Every family kicks in $20 and it goes to burgers, hot dogs, veggie options and drinks (booze and not). The leftover money is used for whatever- sometimes it’s a band, sometimes a bounce house, sometimes an ice cream truck.
Absent that level of organization, I’d bring your own drinks but assume sharing happens. Bring a heavy app. I’m things I’ve done:
-Corn and bean salsa + chips
-TJs mini meatballs + srichia bbq sauce (so easy and very tasty, do it in a crock pot and just provide skewers)
-skewers with tortellini, tomato, mozz, pepperoni and basil
-7 layer dip & chips & veg
– pasta salad
If you have young/picky kids, bring stuff your own kids will eat.
Toy Purge says
Trying to do a toy purge while toddler is at daycare this week. Other than posting them for free on Nextdoor, any suggestions for what to do with them? Most of them are random noisy pieces of plastic. Not looking to resell them.
Cb says
Freecycle works well for us, friends use Facebook marketplace. I did a big sort over the summer – I sent all the nice wood stuff to the charity shops, the puzzles to the library. Our town does a big charity sale in November so it’s good timing.
Mrs. Jones says
You could donate them to Goodwill or the like.
Pogo says
Savers thrift store is the only place around me that takes them.
Liza says
Free on FB Marketplace can also be very effective for giveaways – or Buy Nothing groups. Not everyone is on Nextdoor.
Also any local church or daycare might take them as a donation, if that’s closer and easier for donations than a Goodwill.
Anonymous says
If you happen to be in the Maryland/DC area, I think A Wider Circle takes toys in good condition. If they’re not in good condition, you may have to trash them.
DLC says
It is absolutely okay to throw them out if you have to easy takers. You can also see if there is bulk plastic recycling where you are. Our county’s transfer station takes plastic toys, though you have to take the batteries out.
anonM says
If in good shape, you might be able to donate to a women’s shelter, foster care “closet”, or a child crisis center (one near us has a free shop for families to get clothes, toys, shoes, etc).
Anonymous says
I’m not the OP but also trying to get rid of maternity and baby stuff. The women’s shelters around me are anti-abortion. I’ve been struggling with whether to donate my stuff to these orgs
Anon says
Yes thank you!! PSA that “crisis pregnancy centers” or “pregnancy resource centers” are code words for anti-choice organizations that disseminate misinformation about abortion to pregnant women. Our daycare wanted to do a fundraiser for our local one and I caused quite the drama by insisting it wasn’t appropriate for our (public, secular) daycare to align ourselves with such a political organization. Nobody else on the PTA had any idea about the politics of crisis centers, they just thought it was a place that helped pregnant women.
anon says
So…because you’re pro choice you don’t want to help women being forced to have babies, and you don’t want to help the babies either? Refusing to donate toys to needy children in the name of abortion rights, that’ll show them!
Anon says
I want to help women and babies but there are much better ways to do that than by supporting an organization that is lying to women about their options. I’m not saying it can’t be religious. I’m not Christian but there are churches in my area with food banks and clothing closets that I fully support. But I’m not going to help an organization whose stated goal is to deceive women and force them to give birth.
anon on this one says
“But I’m not going to help an organization whose stated goal is to deceive women and force them to give birth.”
+1. You can help “the babies” without supporting crisis pregnancy centers.
Signed, someone who went as a young adult for the “free” pregnancy test and found out the hard way they don’t and don’t have to, comply with patient confidentiality because….they aren’t medical professionals. I wasn’t pregnant, but it didn’t matter. Thanks for the slut-shaming rumors, “crisis” center, you really made that year a blast.
anonM says
There’s a big difference to me between a crisis pregnancy center (I would not donate to for many reasons) and what I was referring to by women’s shelter — I meant a women’s domestic violence shelter. The one I have volunteered with/donated to homes women and children dealing with DV and related issues, and often have to come to the shelter with nothing. This one has a playroom and a range of kid ages.
Anonymous says
In my city, the Catholic church doesn’t run but heavily sponsors a house for women (often already parents) who are already committed to having their babies (even if they opt for adoption) and provides shelter to the women and their children. They take a lot that GW won’t — pack & plays, car seats, strollers. Our utility stuff goes there.
Anon says
Does anyone work a non-traditional schedule with kids (eg some weekends or evenings but more flexibility during the work-week), and what is it like? That’s what’s mine is like and it works well when kids are little but wondering what it will be like as they get older.
Anonymous says
My mom did this growing up. She was a nurse. She really hated it. Felt like she missed out on too much family time being gone on weekends and didn’t get to see my father enough.
Anonymous says
A friend of mine has a schedule like this. The weekend and evening commitments are non-negotiable, but he gets Fridays off and has a lot of flexibility during his weekday daytime work hours. His wife is a teacher and has zero flexibility during her work hours. It works out really well for them; dad does all the doctor’s appointments, school open houses, parent-teacher conferences, school volunteering, kid taxi duty, etc. and mom is the point person during dad’s evening and weekend commitments. It also makes this couple the most relatable of any of my friends, because they both truly understand what it’s like to juggle work and family.
Anon says
My husband is a professor, so his situation is very different than a firefighter or nurse doing shift work since he doesn’t have a boss or set hours other than teaching. But he chooses to do a lot of research work on evenings and weekends and take more time off during the week. He does it in a way that doesn’t interfere with parenting, i.e., working after kid bedtime and while kid and I are out doing something. It wouldn’t work for me at all (the lack of separation between work and personal life is one of many reasons academia was totally unappealing to me) but it seems to work for him.
Anon says
we’ve literally had less than two weeks of school and everyone is sick already. it’s going to be a long school year…
Cb says
Ugh! There’s an e.coli outbreak in the local nurseries and I’m just waiting for it to hit the school. 34 kids in the local area so far. Teaching starts 3 weeks from today and I’ve got a week in Montreal after that.
Anonymous says
What a nightmare E. coli is preventable.
Anonymous says
I’m pregnant with my first child and my mom has offered to watch the baby when my husband and I go back to work. Does anyone here have a family member watching their child(ren), and have thoughts on pros and cons?
Relevant facts if helpful:
– both my parents are young (59 and 61) and in good shape (e.g., my mom plays tennis 4x a week)
– both parents work full; mom would retire; parents are financially comfortable and could both retire now
– I have a younger sibling who lives abroad and is probably 2-3 years away from having a child
– commute for my mom would be 45 minutes each way without traffic and an hour with traffic
– I have a good relationship with both my parents and see them frequently
Main things I worry about –
– The commute. My mom currently works a lot but remotely. Pre-COVID she worked in office from 7-3:30 which minimized traffic on her commute. Those hours will not work; I need coverage from roughly 9-5/5:30.
– Her not treating it like a job, for lack of a better way to phrase it. E.g., asking to leave early to make it home for plans. My sibling and I have been out of the house for 15 years now and she has a lot of autonomy
– Backup care – if they go on vacation, or are stick, I’m not sure how we would arrange for back up care
– Having to give her direction about how we want things done
– I currently work remotely most of the time and I feel like she’s way more likely to interrupt me than a nanny (or day care, obviously)
– If we want a weekend babysitter, or need to go away overnight, my parents will probably be less likely to watch the baby since they’re already providing so much care
I’d welcome thoughts on other pros/cons, or anything I’ve identified.
anonM says
It also doesn’t have to be all or nothing! Can she do full-time for several months? This can make a big difference in putting baby in daycare/daycare illnesses/not having to pump as much, etc. And then what if she does 2 committed days a week, and then you do 3 days of daycare? (Avoid having traveling mom sign up for Fridays — I found Monday/Tuesday the better bet).
Anonymous says
Thanks, I forgot to mention we are also considering part time options! That’s a good idea about full time for a few months and then transitioning. I have a really poor immune system and am very wary of all the illnesses headed my way.
anonM says
We have had some combo of grandma care since our first. Currently, it is 1day/week with my mom. There are a lot of benefits. But before I give you that, I will say that we had some very frank discussions (my MIL did a day/week for several years). They had to commit to being at our house 9-5, and we needed to know any vacation days in advance. Pros- one day each per week made me feel like I could let a lot go because it wasn’t a daily thing. They have a great relationship with their grandmas. I get to stop working (WFH) and each lunch with them. The kids look forward to the less-rigid/scheduled “grandma day.” I think it has helped them bond as siblings. And, because my mom does 1/day week, it is a great balance where she knows our house and routines very well, but she isn’t over-extended, she is happy and able to step in for a mild sick day, come an extra evening when DH travels, or babysit when we go to a wedding/event. She usually stays for family dinner, too. I highly recommend a convo where you see what she really wants for retirement because 5 full time days is a lot, but if she can commit to that for 3 months it would be great! (I was supposed to go back from mat leave with kid 2 when covid shut down happened, so from that comparison from #1 who went to daycare at 3mo, it honestly was great for me. I felt much better sending LO a little older — such a valuable gift that you should really think about accepting if you think it will work!
Anon says
yes, i think given the details this might be the best approach. help out initially. also- if you weren’t having a baby, when was your mom going to retire? how attached is she to her work? watching a grandchild is not the same kind of mental stimulation as a job and could she find it lonely or boring? she might not be able to play tennis 4x a week anymore, etc. if watching a grandchild. what are you considering otherwise? nanny? daycare? i’ve seen this work best when either grandparent doesn’t have much of their own life going on (for lack fo a better way of phrasing it), or commits to 1-2 days a week. i also had one friend whose parent slept over one night a week to avoid the commute of watching the grandchild.
Anonymous says
She would likely retire in 2 years when my dad currently plans to. She is not a person who loves work/ties her identity to work. She’s been at the same job for many years but her two long time coworkers retired during the the pandemic, her hours increased and most of her friends are retired/never worked (and many watch their grandkids). So I think she sees this as an opportunity to retire slightly early.
Anon says
This is exactly what we do – two days/week in our home with Nana and three at daycare. For us, it’s the perfect balance. The kids get socialization, learning, and great structure at “school” and have also been able to cultivate an amazing relationship with their grandmother. I would suggest making sure everyone is on the same page for rules before agreeing to this though. My mother-in-law knows that when she’s watching them during these set days, our house rules are THE RULES (limited screentime, limited treats, all meals are at the table, timeouts are enforced, etc). If she has them while we are on a date night or for a sleepover at her house, then she can go full-on grandparent and rot their teeth and eyes and we are fine with it. There needs to be a distinction between childcare-Nana and NANA-Nana, if that makes sense.
Anonymous says
For weekend babysitters and backup care, you could sign up with an on-call nanny service.
Cb says
My dad moved to my country, rented a flat a short bus ride away, and looked after my son FT between 6 months and 11 months. It was the amount of time he could do without a visa, and it was good timing. Starting at nursery at a year was really great.
Pros:
Free childcare!
An incredibly special relationship between my dad and son
An opportunity to connect with my dad in a really meaningful way – he’d stay for dinner when my husband had choir practice and we’d go to hot yoga together on Saturdays
He’d be in for deliveries and maintenance work
Cons:
It’s harder to tell parents what to do – I had to accept my son wore more disposable nappies and ate more baby melts than I’d prefer.
My mom felt lonely (she and my dad have lived together since they were 19) and felt quite jealous
Anon says
We considered this and decided against it. My mother retired when baby was born and is first line of back-up for daycare, covers 100% childcare during any illness, snow closures, etc; as well as can pinch cover drop-offs and pick-ups when we need it. The biggest reason is that she and we want her to be able to spoil her grandkid, be the fun adventure grandparent etc – and that is not possible if she is playing the day-to-day childcare role that needs to enforce discipline and have more structure, etc. For us it’s definitely the best of both worlds. Because the baby has other day to day care, we feel comfortable asking and my parents are willing to watch her on the weekends for us to do low importance activities (like to give us time to go to the gym, or get coffee alone). We also love the activities, structure, and social aspect of our baby’s daycare and would not want to give that up for either a grandparent or nanny.
Biggest red flag to me in your list is that it wouldn’t be compatible with my job if my childcare was interrupting me or trying to leave early, change plans on short notice etc.
Anon says
Your concerns are valid. I think it’s reasonable to discuss them with your mom and see how she responds.
Fwiw, I am close (emotionally and geographically) with my parents and we opted out of having them provide full-time care for some of the reasons you mentioned. They travel a lot and although they were willing to retire to be our full-time caregivers, I felt really uncomfortable being the sole reason they retired. I would feel especially strongly about that at 59 and 61. There’s so much more to retirement than just finances and I would really worry that someone who retired that young is going to become bored. Retired people also tend to age faster. My parents are 72 and 70 now (kid is almost 5) and they still seem very young to me, and I think a big part of that is that they’re still working (by choice, not because of financial necessity).
Personally I would not have your mom do two days a week. At least in my area, part time daycare or nanny is hard to find so you’ll likely find yourself paying for fulltime childcare anyway, while also navigating the fraught dynamics of having a family caregiver. Worst of both worlds, IMO. I would either have your mom commit to fulltime care (minus a set number of vacation weeks) or keep their help to weekend/evening only.
Anon says
Your concerns are valid. I think it’s reasonable to discuss them with your mom and see how she responds.
Fwiw, I am close (emotionally and geographically) with my parents and we opted out of having them provide full-time care for some of the reasons you mentioned. They travel a lot and although they were willing to retire to be our full-time caregivers, I felt really uncomfortable being the sole reason they retired. I would feel especially strongly about that at 59 and 61. There’s so much more to retirement than just finances and I would really worry that someone who retired that young is going to become bored. Retired people also tend to age faster. My parents are 72 and 70 now (kid is almost 5) and they still seem very young to me, and I think a big part of that is that they’re still working (by choice, not out of financial necessity).
Personally I would not have your mom do two days a week. At least in my area, part time daycare or nanny is hard to find so you’ll likely find yourself paying for fulltime childcare anyway, while also navigating the fraught dynamics of having a family caregiver. Worst of both worlds, IMO. I would either have your mom commit to fulltime care (minus a set number of vacation weeks) or keep their help to weekend/evening only.
Anon says
Sorry didn’t mean to post twice!
Anonymous says
Nope. Danger zone. Messy. I’d do it short term like one month or two but not longer than that.
AwayEmily says
+1. My mom lives 30 minutes away and we rely on her a lot, but never for full-time care. But she watches the kid(s) on days school is randomly closed, a kid is sick with non-COVID stuff (e.g. pinkeye), evenings where we need help, does a day of after-school care each week for my first-grader, etc. I really like that *because* she doesn’t provide full-time care, she is more than happy to help out with all of this and I never feel like I’m imposing. It also means that we don’t have to have all those tough conversations about parenting style (e.g. we don’t let our kids use phones generally but she loves playing games with them on her phone, and because it’s sporadic we don’t care at all).
Anon says
This has been our experience with local grandparents as well. They have an incredibly close bond with my kid and we don’t have to police how they parent (except for safety issues) because it’s not a fulltime thing. We could have saved around $70k by using them instead of daycare, but I consider it money very well spent to keep our kid’s grandparents as grandparents.
Anon says
I get along pretty well with my (local) parents but I rejected all of their offers to be full-time caregivers to my kids because
1. Our parenting styles and philosophies differ, and I can’t tell them what to do / fire them like I could with paid help. (Examples: too much junk food, spoil the kids / can never say no, too much screen time, etc.)
2. No back-up care whenever my parents wanted to vacation, got sick, had medical appointments, etc.
3. Too high a chance of guilt trips / sense of obligation if they’re providing a service that would otherwise cost me $500 a week.
4. Loss of privacy, especially if the care is in my home. My mom is already a much better housekeeper than we are (granted, she hasn’t had a job since the mid-70s) and I didn’t want her to either clean up the non-kid related messes OR judge us for the usual state of chaos in our home.
I framed it as, “I want you to be able to enjoy just being grandma and grandpa when they’re with you,” and that seemed to work. They still bring it up, and I continue to say no. They’ve been a great resource on an as-needed basis for date nights, school closure days, etc.
Hmmm says
I have mixed feelings about this (and have experience with it). Your third concern is the biggest one for me. What happens when the caregiver needs to make a doctor’s appointment or be home to meet with a plumber or just wants to go on vacation? Daycares have coverage for all that stuff, and even with a private nanny I think expectations around all that type of stuff is worked out in advance. We had a family member watch our child one day per week for a while, but it became really annoying because the family member would frequently arrive late or need to leave early. There was also some expectation of socializing while the family member was here even though we had busy work days. By the end of it, we were very excited to switch to full time daycare!
An.On. says
My in-laws watch our kid 2x week and then we do daycare 3x week. This is also the weekly minimum at our daycare, so even if we had fewer days there, we’d pay for 3. This has the benefit of both worlds: (1) grandparents aren’t locked into a full time job with the baby, and can still plan five day vacations, get stuff done around the house, etc, (2) we get a break on full time daycare costs (3) if baby is too sick for daycare, grandparents can take more shifts, and if grandparents are sick/unavailable, we can do more daycare time, (4) doesn’t exhaust the grandparents, i.e., if we want an hour or two on the weekends, grandparents are still excited to get a little more time with the kid (5) kid gets devoted attention and a ton of spoiling at grandparents house plus lots of socialization at daycare.
These are the reasons it works well though: my mother-in-law is wonderful – loves her grandchild, is very respectful of our wishes and very trustworthy – i.e., when we said no visitors without covid vaccine, she did it, and is in good health. She does the bulk of the work, but f-i-l is there to provide a break for her. They have set up a separate space at their house with a crib, changing table, high chair, etc., and they live only about 15 minutes from our house, and are just a few minutes from my office, so dropoffs and changes in schedule are easy, and don’t interrupt husband or I at work. Both grandparents had mostly retired before the kid came along so they had lots of time, but weren’t locked into a retiree schedule.
I will say that one of my co-workers was doing something more similar to your situation – watching her grandchild at her daughter’s house while the daughter worked remotely – and I think it was a bit more difficult since there was the urge to check in and a little more friction between them. But it really depends on the personalities involved. The only complaint we have is that grandparents can’t bear to let the baby cry it out to nap, even just for a few minutes, so there’s no afternoon nap routine, but that’s a problem at daycare too, so we can’t do much about it.
Anon says
My longer reply got eaten, but consider that good childcare provides structure, teaching and discipline to your child (particularly at the toddler+ ages). That was not a good match with the how we and my parents wanted their grandparenting to go – where they could be fun, unstructured, and yes spoil the kids!
anon says
The best schedule we had was 1-2x times a week grandpa would pick the baby up at daycare around 3 PM (after nap) while grandma started dinner. We’d come home around 5:30 PM and they’d be happily playing with the baby and dinner would be ready. As a working parent, it was decadent. And if they couldn’t do it one day or needed to shift their day, no big deal as we had daycare backup. They loved that solo time with baby. They still do a similar schedule now, just meeting our kids after elementary school.
Anon says
THIS! My parents weren’t local when my daughter was an infant, but my husband has a flex schedule and did this for our daughter’s first summer in daycare. It was bliss! My parents moved here when my daughter was 3, and this has been our schedule for the last few years, with plans to continue into elementary school. Except they don’t make dinner. I would love it if they did, but even just having them pick her up early and bring her home saves us time and gives them lots of quality time together.
govtattymom says
You did a great job of identifying the positives and negatives. My mom watched my younger daughter for a year, and it was a great experience. Positives- less prep time in the morning (no labeling bottles etc.), free, and you immediately trust the caregiver. Negatives- less reliable (grandma wants to take the day off so she can look at tile and granite for the kitchen reno), grandma never wants to do “date night babysitting”, and you have to be flexible about certain childcare choices. In your situation, the biggest red flag is the commute. My parents live about a mile away, and I can’t tell you how many times I appreciated that. It can make a big difference when baby gets sick, grandma runs out of xyz, etc.
MNF says
We have a combo of grandparent care and an au pair, and have had this since my mat leave. Having the combo of care has been great: 1. when the au pair first arrived, we couldn’t legally leave her alone with the child. The visa rules don’t allow solo care until the kid is 3 mos and I went back at 11 weeks. So we had a few weeks when mom/mil split hanging in the house while au pair worked. This helped set the “rules” because they were enforcing my set expectations for the au pair. 2. after the initial period, grandparents only watched the child one day a week (au pairs can only work 45 hours a week, so she did 10 hours the other four days). 3. child is very close with grandparents, and my childless brother and sil live on the same street as my parents, so she sees them a ton more as well. 4. different rules don’t matter as much one day a week. 5. They know the drill and can step in for a week on au pair vacation. 6. they get close to my au pair too, which I think is enriching for a young women doing a cultural experience program.
Pogo says
No, I wouldn’t do it for all the reasons you mention. Honestly having my mom do backup care and date nights and “mother’s helper on the weekend” is way more valuable, leave the FT weekday daycare to the professionals.
Anon says
Hi! I’m from a culture/community where it is VERY common for grandparents to take on the role of caretaker for a new baby. I think others have given really great tips, and we’ve done the same (e.g. grandparents and grandparents, and FT care during the week is handled via daycare/preschool). My mom has told me several instances where friends of hers have pushed back on the demands of being the FT childcare for their grandkids because of all the things you mentioned (yes, at some point the grandparent may want to go to lunch with friends, or have a doctor’s appointment).
However, I cannot echo enough the FANTASTIC help local grandparents are as babysitters, back-up care, and just an extra pair of hands in the AM or PM. Not only for the help, but for the relationship with kids and everyone else. For DS #2, we actually paid for a FT slot starting when he was 3 months old, and a grandparent kept him home 2x/week until he was ~9 months which was a good middle ground, especially because we could change up those 2x/week without too much stress if grandparent had to go do something else (which was communicated with ample notice).
Liza says
You didn’t mention cost, which leads me to believe it’s not an issue. That being the case: use a daycare center. All the worries you posted about are very real and likely to cause a huge problem in your relationship with your mom.
Since she is willing to babysit, that’s awesome! Take full advantage on weekends, evenings, or even for an extra pair of hands before or after work. Or she can pick up the baby and take him to day care. Or keep him home from daycare a day or two a month and plan something fun for the baby to do with Grandma. But do not use your mother as your primary/only childcare. Nothing in your post indicates why this would be a good idea.
Ballet mom says
Just wanted to say thank you to those who weighed in on the post over the weekend about having my daughter try out for the nutcracker! She did try out so we’ll see. She has a good attitude about it and I think will be fine either way. And we can swing it if she does get a part although I so wish there was more information available about schedules etc before try outs!
govtattymom says
That’s so exciting! Such a great experience (definitely teaches kids to handle success & failure with professionalism).
ElisaR says
late reply here but i have the absolute BEST memories from doing nutcracker and i did it for 9 years. it was truly formative in my childhood development. Excitement, payoff in working towards something, how you handle getting a less than desirable part (I am still proud of the work i put in to a part I initially thought was “beneath” me as a high school kid), it was truly a special experience. even if she only participates for a year.
Anonymous says
I just got the information for a conference where I’ve been invited to speak and it’s at the Greenbrier. Ugh ugh ugh. Colleagues who have been there report that the place is musty and fusty and it certainly looks that way. The room decor is going to give me nightmares, and not being able to throw on leggings and a baseball cap to grab a cup of coffee first thing in the morning will give me a rage headache. Now I remember why I have not really missed business travel. Who would voluntarily spend that much money to stay in what looks like a 1960s living history museum?
Anon says
I agree with you about having zero desire to visit that place on my own accord, but it’s not your money, right? It’s your employer’s money. And I’m not sure why you can’t throw on leggings and a baseball cap in the morning to get coffee.
Anonymous says
There is a dress code. Athletic wear and baseball caps are not permitted.
Anon says
The two cafes are both casual attire
Anon says
That’s just for the sit down restaurants it looks like?
Anonymous says
You absolutely can! She’s making up problems
Anonymous says
Omg why are you being such a drama Queen. You need to dress nice for dinner. You can get coffee wearing leggings.
Anon says
Haha, I get it, but honestly if you are going to go if change your approach. The Greenbrier is actually really fun and I don’t think anyone is going to stop you from wearing leggings to get coffee in the morning. The decor is odd, yes, but the building itself is beautiful, the area is beautiful, and it’s a resort that its not a bad place to spend some time. You could do a lot worse!
FVNC says
+1. Never been to the Greenbriar, but we spent a long weekend at the Homestead years ago with two young, rowdy kids (similar vibe, I’m assuming, including dress codes). The only dress code requirement was for dinner at the main restaurant, and there were plenty of options for food otherwise. I believe some of the Greenbriar rooms have “updated” (i.e., more modern) decor, maybe you can book there.
Anon says
I love the Greenbrier. I willingly pay money to stay there. If you can, they have wings that are renovated so ask to stay in those (it’s less Dorothy Draper in your face, I think they are called the Deluxe Rooms). You can definitely wear leggings and a baseball cap to get coffee; it’s just the sit down restaurants that have dress-codes. People are so nice, and the staff is excellent and the food is great. The first time we went with a colicky infant and they found us a retired nurse with a 30+ year career in a NICU to babysit her in our room, a waitress volunteered to (and did) cut my dinner for me when I was stuck nursing said colicky infant at lunch by myself and only had one hand free to eat, etc. Make your dinner reservations early, as places do fill up. My favorites are Sam Snead’s, Prime 44 west and Draper’s Cafe (which may be lunch only). The breakfast buffet is huge and we would often get coffee in the morning (dressed in leggings I might add), then go to a late seating at the breakfast buffet, skip lunch and then eat dinner. The tour of the bunker is also super neat, so sign up for that too.
NYCer says
+1. The Greenbrier is beautiful. Other than being somewhat hard to get to, I think it is a pretty nice spot for a work conference.
(And call me whatever you want to call me, but I actually appreciate going to sit down restaurants that have a dress code from time to time.)
Pogo says
Also, for resort dress code, which is required at my in-law’s country club, I’ve found basically if you look put-together enough for work, you’ll be fine. I took it so literally initially and wore an actual collared oxford shift, khakis with a belt, etc. Now if I am wearing white jeans and a top from Madewell, I know it’s fine.
Anonymous says
The buildings and its decor have a lot of cool history, plenty of people would love to stay there. Architectural Digest published a piece on it just a few years ago—https://www.architecturaldigest.com/story/the-enduring-legacy-of-the-greenbrier-dorothy-drapers-famous-hotel
Anonymous says
Oh yes it’s awful you have to go stay at a nice hotel lol
Meg says
Anyone have suggestions for where to buy jeans for work? Need nice, no rips, and prefer to get away from skinny’s. I’m carrying 10 more pounds than I’d like to, but that may just be being in my 40s and I just want something that fits and is comfortable and ideally, flattering.
Anon says
Talbots
Mrs. Jones says
Madewell
anon says
Banana Republic
AIMS says
+1.
Anon says
Gap makes a “classic straight” jean in a dark rinse that I think looks great on me (with my side part, so YMMV).
HFM says
Ugh….. I’m brand new at my job and Toddler brought HFM home from daycare and we all came down with it over the weekend, minus one kiddo who I think is coming down with it now. I’m pregnant and trying not to fall down the internet rabbit hole freaking myself out about possible miscarriages, complications, etc. Meanwhile, everyone spent the weekend cranky and miserable, myself included. There are certainly worse illnesses to have and I’m glad we aren’t dealing with 14 day quarantines etc. for every fever anymore… but UGH!
anonM says
HFM sucks, so sorry!
So Anon says
HFM is awful! For what it’s worth, my oldest came down with it when he was a toddler and I was pregnant with his little sister. I remember a very cranky toddler wanting to lounge on me on a very hot summer day when I was in my 3rd trimester. I was reassured by my medical practice that all would be fine. I didn’t actually get sick with it then. However, another round of HFM hit my house when my kids were in PreK and 1st grade, and that round hit me hard!
anon says
HFM is awful and the worst part is that you can catch it more than once. I’m sorry.
An.On. says
Anecdotal, but my kid had it two weeks ago and it was a breeze after the initial onset (for them – WE had to scramble for back up childcare). Neither my husband nor I got any symptoms even though kid was teething and drooled all over us. Dr said no intervention necessary unless kid had fever, vomiting, etc; just be extra careful about changing diapers since it’s excreted through #2. Everything cleared up in less than a week. I will say – a grandparent caught it and had more uncomfortable symptoms, but they’re also clearing up after six days.
Anon says
Your nails can fall out months after even a mild infection. That was the grossest part for me.
anon says
I had it when I was pregnant and definitely was afraid of what it would do to the baby. My MIL, a nurse, advised me that hfm is not harmful to pregnant women and their babies. It is really well-researched because its super common for toddlers in daycares bring it home to their pregnant moms. In my experience, it was a hellish 7 days, but it resolved itself. I remember using lots of anti-itch cream. Also, after i had my baby and he went to daycare, at around 1 year old, his daycare had an outbreak but his symptoms were super mild probably because i had passed on the immunity.
Anon says
HFM stinks.
But I had it while pregnant in my first tri and my (high risk) doctor said no added risks and she wasn’t concerned – keep an eye on fever but that was it :) so at least don’t freak yourself out about that part!
OP says
Thank you!!
AwayEmily says
Any recommendations for bibs? For eating purposes, not drooling purposes. Somehow all ours disappeared between children and I don’t remember what they were or if we liked them so I am starting afresh. Thanks!
anon says
the silicone type ones with the pouch are favorites, no specific brands, but I got some personalized ones off etsy that are super cute.
Anonymous says
We had one of these, I think baby bjorn or some similar sounding brand, and it was literally the only eating bib we needed for two children. Just wash it off after the meal. It was still going strong after the second kid no longer needed a bib!
Aunt Jamesina says
Yup, we have a single Mushie bib and I love that we don’t need to have extras around.
AIMS says
Baby Bjorn is the best. At some point my kids literally drank out of theirs – it was that sturdy. I give them to all new parents I know around the age of 1 :-)
Anonymous says
+1 we got a pack at Target.
Anon says
Counterpoint: I didn’t like the silicone pouch ones. I found it impossible to get them clean in the dishwasher. They would always come out feeling greasy.
For super messy foods like frozen blueberries we used disposable paper bibs. Otherwise we just used cloth ones.
DLC says
We like the ones with arms, kind of like a smock.
Or (more frequently) we just gave up, did without and changed clothes after meals if it got too bad.
CCLA says
Yeah IKEA makes a great smock that worked really well. We kept a few around in the early years. Before those fit, we liked the giant Aden and Anais muslin ones but those were admittedly better for spit up and purees.
Anonymous says
My kid hated the silicone ones with a pouch. She liked the Bumkins bibs with a pouch and Baprons (if there was a Bapron with a pouch, that would’ve been perfect).
anonM says
I got the cloth ones with the elastic headhole, the ones that are basically a kitchen towel with a hole cut out. (Target has some, or etsy). Simple and functional. My kids loved pulling off ones with buttons/snaps but usually kept those on.